Carla: human* book title generator
*not that she chooses to be
**human, that is
Yup. Also, next book’s titled “Like a Friggin’ Rag Doll”. Cover features Amazi-girl with a Sal voodoo doll.
I have a hard time imagining why Amazigirl would employ voodoo in order to get Sal friggin. Joyce I could understand.
Because she’s fucking crazy, for one
Sanity IS FOR THE WEAK.
Don’t worry! At least one person got the joke.
Hooray. I’m so glad we don’t have vote counts here. Nothing like returning to your most sparkling ingenious quips and wordplays and seeing +0 or -1 scores. Or weeks afterwards finally a reply, along the lines of “click here for herbal cures to ransomware”.
“Your Secret Secret Love is Dumb and Nobody Cares” Yeah, I’d buy that for a dollar.
tbh most of the good stuff is incredibly spoilery
Yeah, I’ve got some friends who only read the comic each year when I lend them the new book. The most recent book’s title was disappointingly spoilery.
Really? I just meant the potential titles taken straight from Carla. I don’t actually know what the title of the most recent book is.
Isn’t it “Guess what? I’m a Lesbian!”?
Given her ability to hoist Billie up in the air and carry her around the floor like that, I’m not so sure about the “human” part.
I think she’s still a robot former car; she just got her parents to install round speech balloons in her so she could pass as human. Gonna be a third arm popping out of her chest and flipping everyone birds here any minute now.
Uh, she already had an arm popping out of her chest. I mean, a chest is a box, right?
I…should really skim through the Walkyverse.
Nah, her parents decided to ensure her body was human-ish enough to pass casual inspection, to minimize awkwardness in passing (since, after all, Carla wished to be viewed as human) so no extra limbs.
I thought “YOUR STUPID SECRET LOVE IS DUMB AND NOBODY CARES!” was the title line. That’s the joke, right?
I think so? It sort of reveals that somebody finds out/is told about Ruth and Billie, though.
And it can’t be Mary because she definitely cares.
So it’s kinda spoilery imo
I’d say the fact that another title already starts with “Your” probably disqualifies it more. I don’t think “and nobody cares” has to imply a spoiler. That’s a thing people say all the time to mean “and I don’t care.”
Three out of six sentences would do perfectly well as a title. While deadlifting a former cheerleader, yet.
More of a clean press than a deadlift, really
Except even with a clean press, you keep the weight pretty much in line with your body. You don’t stop half way up with arms bent and extended.
And then walk down the hall as the weight wiggles and kicks.
Billie: “YOU MEAN I CAN HAVE THE REST OF THE COOKIES?!” *nyoom*
OK, you are the fricking worst!
Except I’m even worse, because I laughed at that. Hard. Really hard.
Let’s be the worst together!
I think “let’s be the worst together” were the terms of Ruth and Billie’s relationship.
OK, can we be the worst together, but without the suicide pact, please?
Wanting to die is not the same thing as wanting to kill yourself. I know it’s not a super obvious distinction, but it is there.
Deffo, I want to die a lot, but I wouldn’t hurt the people I care about that way. There’s tons of good things in my life, they just don’t always make me feel good and that’s just my biology.
“No, see, I don’t necessarily want to KILL myself… I just want to become dead somehow. Ssssshhhh… it’s okay. Life is meaningless anyway.”
From the epic “Depression Part 2” blog post on Hyperbole and a Half, which is the most bullshit-free thing I’ve ever read on the subject.
Despite the fact that Hyperbole and a Half is a collection of comedic stories crudely drawn like a 5 year old, it is the best explanation of depression I have ever seen.
I bought a copy of the book, because Allie’s explanations of depression are so on point.
I saw this late, but it’s not that Allie can’t draw–she does super good dogs, for instance–but that she’s using MS Paint with a mouse. “Crude” is about anyone with less than infinite patience can do with that.
(just a for-the-record)
It might not be a super obvious distinction, but it is a really important one! I wish more people understood that.
Ronnie Wood came up with “Let’s be the worst together” after a 3 day drug and alcohol fueled bender but Keef made him re-write it until he had “Let’s spend the night together.”
MUST GET COOKIES
“Oh, hi, Ruth. Me no see you there.
You want Cookie??”
Sorry, Cookie Monster. Siri says you are sad because there are no cookies.
That WAS my first thought, too.
I think a good chunk of the commenters had that for their first thought.
I didn’t. Do I have to surrender my Terrible Person card?
I didn’t say everyone.
Indeed! Uniformity is hardly defining of terrible people 🙂
Doctor, we got a serious situation to solve. panels 1&2 how is Carla holding billie?
Little known fact, Billie has titanium bra-straps. She uses her natural bustiness to conceal liquor in her cleavage, but a regular brassiere can’t reliably support both her chest and a fifth of vodka.
That, or Carla gripped her by the ribcage? Those things are robust.
Billie is actually a possessed ventriloquist’s dummy, so she’s fairly easy to carry.
I’m pretty sure she’s stabilizing with a hand on her butt and using the shirt to get her off balance so she can lift her up as well as choking up on the shirt for extra leverage. It’d take some strength, but it’d be doable for holding up a person of Billie’s proportions assuming she’s at least as strong as Billie was (because of the bottom of the cheer pyramid thing).
Also, I love that it’s a very non-violent hold.
It’d take more than “some strength”. You might be able to lift someone that way, but you’d never be able to walk or even hold them.
That’s all arm strength. At least with the bottom of the cheer pyramid thing you’re using your legs and back.
Where’s their center of mass? And with Billie struggling and moving around?
Far from the least realistic thing we’ve seen in the comic and it doesn’t bother me, but if I was taking it literally I’d say it was strong evidence in favor of Carla being a robot here too.
Momentum might help- if Carla is striding forwards at a rate of knots, the panel 2 position is plausible. I’ve seen ballet dancers pull off similar moves, though only with someone who’s co-operating!
I guess, I got the impression that Billie didn’t really struggle until Panel 4 and once she struggled she got out of the hold instantly. And yeah, that she was using the momentum as well.
But I would agree with thejeff that this means Carla has crazy good upper arm strength.
And also that it’s a really shaky hold in panel 2 owing to the strain on Carla’s arms, hence why there’s the motion lines around Billie.
I think the secret will be out when Billie starts screwing Ruth with the door open after getting the attention of the entire floor
More likely a long comforting cuddle with some crying.
Pick the day. Enjoy it – to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come… The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present – and I don’t want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future. (Audrey Hepburn)
That’s one way for the narrative to get the floor to side with Ruth over Mary. And possibly get Mary’s phone destroyed when she tries recording it.
Cookies are serious business
oatmeal raisin > snickerdoodle
You did not just.
It is on.
…. not from me, I agree with you, but the haters are going to hate.
i totally did! and i do not feel bad about it at all!
Oatmeal raisin is trash, snickerdoodle is superior.
then you have not had good oatmeal raisin cookies!
such a thing does not exist. Snickerdoodles for life.
oatmeal raisin cookies are far better than snickerdoodles
Raisins disgust me. Chocolate chip is best.
I’d say it depends on one’s mood. Both have their points.
oatmeal raisin is the Anticookie, sent to bring about the Grandmacalypse.
how dare you insult oatmeal raisin cookies!
Chocolate chip or bust.
Chocolate chip cookie: the only true cookies.
Accept no substitutes.
that sounds like a donald trump platform
Oatmeal Pecan>Oatmeal Raisin (Always favored nuts to dried fruit in my baked goods)
eating can seem like to much effort when you are that low
WHAT?! SHE NEVER ATE THEM?! RUN BILLIE
YOU CAN STILL EAT THEM
Oooh, Scandal. I approve.
The world needs more Scandal Savage.
She’d probably fit right in.
And now for the 7th Dumbing of age Tournament battle
Announcer: Amber O’ Malley vs. Jacob Williams!
Danny: Jacob is going to lose.
Dorothy: How do you know?
Danny: Trust me here, I know Amber.
Jacob: This should be a fun fight.
Amazi-Girl: I feel bad punching someone who isn’t a filthy criminal, but I suppose it can’t be helped.
Jacob: Do you spend a lot of time punching criminals Ms. O’ Malley.
Amazi-Girl: You’d be surprised.
Jacob (thinking): What’s this power radiating from her? It’s way higher, than it should be!
Danny (thinking): C’mon Jacob, if Amber reaches Sal…
Amazi-Girl does multiple backflips and aims a kick at Jacob’s head. Jacob manages to block at the last second but is pushed back. Amazi-Girl proceeds to attack him from multiple angles almost at once, almost like she’s more than one person.
Jacob jumps out of the way, and skids backwards, wiping blood from his mouth.
Jacob (thinking): What’s with this girl? She outclasses me in everyway! Amber spends most of her time playing MMORPGS, how can she be this powerful!?
Amazi-Girl: Grappling hook!
Jacob: Oh…and she has a grappling hook…
Jacob manages to dodge the grappling hook, and it attaches two the edge of the stadium. He looks up to see Amber sailing towards him.
Amazi-Girl’s foot connects with his stomach, as he’s sent hurling out of the ring.
The winner is Amazi-Girl/Amber!
“She didn’t eat those cookies? They’ll go stale!”
Hurry Billie! You can still save the cookies! Put them in the refrigerator/your mouth!
COOKIES DON’T GO IN THE FRIDGE! The fridge dries out cookies in no time!
….. okay, maybe you can put them in the freezer if they’re chocolate-dipped, but that’s IT.
“NOPE, DONE WITH THIS, GO KISS YOUR GF”
Carla is the hero we need.
-And- the hero we deserve. Or possibly better than we deserve.
Oh hey it’s Mary. She’ll probably follow Billie.
Can we see some righteous defense of Ruth with some thunder thighs soon?
She won’t get very far. Carla’s arms are free now and she’s in no-bullshit mode.
Also, Joyce and Becky are one their way back.
No guesses as to how they’ll react to this tableau in their current mood.
Defense of Ruth for what?
run billie! run like wally west!
If only she had his vibrational powers, Ruth would never be depressed again.
She can take some lessons from Walkyverse Walky.
For those of you reading this from in the future.
Relevant Shortpacked comic: http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=2020
And then, there’s today’s It’s Walky http://www.itswalky.com/comic/walkerton-settle-down/
I guess I wasn’t obvious with my link.
…just had to put Mary in the last panel.
I saw Mary and thought to myself, “Oh, what the FUCK is she gonna do NOW, Willis!?” The answer could be “not much,” but not likely.
It looks like she’s going to Sunday Evening Bible Study. Surely she doesn’t think that ruining lives and sucking out souls is more important than that?
See, all you have to do is word it differently.
Like “Exposing the wicked in His name.”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/cashin/ – Now who left this link lying around?
Sometimes you want to sink your teeth into flesh and blood that has not been transsubstantiated.
Or be the sinkee. What is she hiding under that turtleneck?
More likely just getting back from church. It’s still late morning/early afternoon (probably leaning more toward the latter by now). If it were past 2pm, Becky and Joyce would’ve shown up already
What’s the geography and the timezones here? Joyce, Becky and Hank just left the early service at their church shortly after it started, so it seems plausible that it’s around 10 am and Mary was on her way out.
Was. Until all the ruckus started, which she wouldn’t even have known about if it’d just waited another two minutes.
 apart from how all the students (other’n Ruth and Billie) are up and out of bed, which, what? Though this seems to be fairly soon after Carla leaving breakfast out for Ruth, and after Danny barely being out of bed when Dina dropped by.
La Porte is in Central time, and Bloomington is in Eastern Time, so they lose an hour. The distance is about 200 miles and the driving time is 3 hours 45 minutes according to Google Maps.
This driving time was already stated as four hours in the comic.
Although that was a friday, so it might be a bit faster on a sunday, if there is less traffic.
She’s a godsent. If anything can cheer Ruth up now, it’s Mary’s head on a platter.
something something john the baptist something
something something oglaf something
Are we sure Carla doesnt have secret abuductee powers?
Amber was able to lift Billie too. She may have put on some pounds recently, but maybe she’s still fairly light overall.
Amber has crazy parkour skills, so he’s probably pretty strong. Maybe it is just Billie’s fate to be carried around like an indignant cat.
It’s a cheerleader power.
Amber also got properly underneath her. It was a weird hold, but mechanically far better. Lift with your legs.
I’m going to lean towards the secret powers. One can assume that Billie’s squirming, and given the angle and placement of Carla’s arms, to my knowledge that’s impossible by normal human standards.
Looks like Carla had her by the bra straps and waistband. Adrenaline might have let her pull that off briefly.
Yeah, but it wasn’t briefly. You could probably lift someone like that, if you were strong and with some adrenaline helping out. But she’s walked out of the room and down the hall.
No way you keep them there. Bring them in closer, get your back and legs into it.
It’s hard to hold a toddler like that for any extended period, much less a full grown girl. And Billie shouldn’t be particularly light.
And that’s completely ignoring the structural integrity of the bra strap and waistband. 🙂
This appears like a mechanical problem solved by fisting (providing fixation and/or a stabilization of angular momentum). Now somone needs to buy Billie new pants.
Amber struggled like fuck tho. Carla does that shit all cas.
I think it’s covered by the fact that Carla is a welder and an engineer.
Welders and fabbers get built as fuck – anyone doing physical labour for extended periods, particularly if it involves gripping/carrying weighty objects and holding them in *precise positions* as you work.
Life Hack #376: Repeatedly lifting heavy stuff makes you better at lifting heavy stuff.
*plays Pink Floyd’s “Run Like Hell” on the hacked Muzak*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKgOe1Rl8YY <- Is there anybody in the audience who's PARANOID?
I was thinking of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z0XiGtIYrCI
Carla, the only sensible character in the entire fucking universe.
And as the only fan of Mary as a character, I am pleased as punch to see her return.
Yes, I too might be pleased to punch Mary. Or did I misunderstand?
I am legitimately happy to see her back. She only leads to fun things happening.
Is it bad that I think the outfit that she’s wearing looks nice?
Not at all. Mary is a good looking person. You can’t be faulted for finding finding her aesthetically pleasing.
Evil is sexy, after all.
Aesthetically Pleasing? I like it.
That’s the point yeah :Y
Says someone with a Penny av. 🙂
It’s her Mathew Hopkin outfit.
I would also like to see her back…as she runs away and never returns.
Also Carla’s ridiculously strong. Is she lifting all of Billie up just by her shirt?
And that’s all manner of badass, because trans women are typically heavily discouraged from being buff or showing off physical strength because of weird “girl = weak” ideas. So this is yet again, an example of how little fucks Carla gives about “passing”.
When you look back and see only one set of footprints, know that those are the places Carla had to fuckin’ carry you.
There has indeed been a great breach I. The laws of causality: The. Cookies. Are. Uneaten.
The only reason we know the end is NOT nigh is the great word of Willis, the Damned God, has decreed it. All Hail.
Now I want to filk “Will the Cookies Be Uneaten?”
It’s nice when Ruth And Billie show they care for each other like this. Hopefully this means they will finally try to move towards a positive relationship after this.
I hope Mary does try some shit, only for the entire floor to basically go, “Nah she’s a lying fuck” and basically ostracize her for being an asshole
If Mary tries anything right now, Carla will be having none of her shit. She is not in mood to just settle for a prank when a depressed person’s life is in danger.
Yeah, I think the fact that it’ll quickly become evident (and Carla and Billie could conceivably lie their way to “We as friends/person who talked to her yesterday noticed she was worryingly depressed and needed someone checking in on her” if they’re clever enough) that Ruth is in a REALLY bad way and actually does need someone keeping an eye on her 24/7 will keep Mary from being able to pull any shit, at least not successfully. Because no one in the hall likes Ruthless, but I’m pretty damn sure they don’t want her to attempt suicide and they like Mary just as little if not less.
It is God’s work when the enemies of our Lord’s laws are culled from our midst and the skulls of their children are smashed upon the rocks (Psalm 137:9).
Wait, does anyone else having any idea who Mary is?
Yeah, this is gonna humanize Ruth a lot to the hall at a very crucial time. Ruth might come out of this with the Queer Underground that’s protecting Becky also getting her back as well.
To be fair Mary is many things… but a liar she is not.
If anything, it’s more likely everyone would just already know because fuck it’s obvious
Know what? That’s Mary’s an asshole? Sure, that’s obvious.
That Ruth and Billie are/were a couple? Obvious to us. No indication that anyone else in the comic was aware of it. Strike that, one of the girls (maybe a Rachel?) has a theory, but she got laughed down.
It was Grace:
And given that Grace is in the comic seeing this all go down, I’d say she just won a long-standing bet with her girlfriend.
She could try a fake compassionate schtick: “Ms. Lessik cannot be expected to continue the RA duties during her time of difficulty here. The stresses of trying to control all these terrible sinners has done enough damage to her mental and spiritual health already.”
What sucks is she’d be doing a good thing getting Ruth out of there. But it’d feel soooo bad.
No, she wouldn’t be doing a good thing getting Ruth out /when her actual problem is that Ruth doesn’t like her massive hate for gays and trans people/.
I mean, Ruth is a pretty horrible RA. She should be removed from the position, and could even get some help if she doesn’t have to pretend to be good at her job anymore.
I choose to interpret this strip as Ruth not eating the cookies being what kicks Billie into gear.
…. and, skimming upward, so do a lot of other commentators. I am unoriginal.
Not eating cookies is like commiting a crime. Billie just wants to bring Ruth on the right path.
I thought that was pretty obviously the case. Where I believe the comments differ from Billie’a motivation is the focus on the cookies over focusing on Ruth being so down she hasn’t even eaten the cookies.
“Your stupid secret love is dumb and nobody cares”–the title of book 6
How many titles does that book have by now?
And should we combine them into one megatitle?
More like Secret SIX love.
Or possibly just “Love is Dumb and Nobody Cares”
about love or the fact that it is dumb?
Huh, looking at panel two it looks like Carla isn’t the tallest girl on the floor. Even slouching, Grace looks the same height as her.
Also, did Billie punch Carla by accident in panel four in her rush to get down?
And how did I make this comment without wondering about how the heck Carla is supporting Billie in panel two? If she was holding her by her shirt like she was in panel one, her shirt would be riding up, not making a line at her waist. But it’s not really clear where Carla’s hands are supposed to be either. Holding her up by the waist under her shirt?
And all this is pointless rambling, I realise.
Hands gripping shirt and pants in equal measure?
Hand to shirt foe stabilization, the other hand is on Billie’s arse supporting most of the weight
Tall Grace is tall.
I don’t think she punched her so much as just used her face to push off as she launched.
Damn. Carla’s strong. Also, seems like a lot of this could have been avoided by mentioning the cookies sooner as apparently cookies make everything more important. I’m personally more of a pumpkin bread kind man myself.
Just strong is Carla? I mean Billie looks around 60-65kgs to me and is struggling so that’s a decent amount of weight to be lifting
How… is Carla carrying Billie? Her arms aren’t around her waist or under her arms or really anywhere that makes sense. It looks like maybe she hoisted Billie by the back of her shirt, but in the second panel, the shirt doesn’t look like it’s being pulled at all? I am seriously confused.
Left hand is holding her butt?
I think she grabbed the waistband of her shorts and twisted the back of her shirt. In panel 2 the shirt doesn’t look held because it’s being pulled down rather than up.
I was wondering this too…after staring at the first two panels for way too long, I think I have figured out that the right hand is the one yanking Billie up by the shirt while the left hand is scooping her up under the thigh/butt. In the second panel the left hand is still holding her by the butt while the right hand is on her back, stabilizing her. The shirt has fallen back down since it’s no longer being grabbed.
Which means Carla is literally carrying Billie with one hand, fully ready to present her to Ruth as though on a platter. I…
Which is doable, but your arm is gonna shake like crazy and drop her after about 10 seconds… not that I’m speaking from personal experience here… okay, I’ve had partners who are turned on by feats of strength before. Damn grateful we were on soft carpet when I tried that one.
It kinda looks like Carla is playing basketball with Billie as the ball.
Fi-na-lly, it sinks into Billie’s head.
And yes, obviously it was the cookies that did it. Or rather, it was what the cookies represented: The continued connection between Billie and Ruth through messengers. If even that disappears…
Also, can someone please* grab Mary and put her in a dark room without any opportunities to spy and be a complete bigot arsehole, please.
*Not Carla. Carla is too good for Mary to be touched by.
Also worth noting that this means that Ruth has not eaten anything since she disappeared into her room, and may not have even had any water.
Left to her own devices, she could starve or go thirsty. Mercifully, she is not left to her own devices.
Pfft… Alt-tag… it should really be RA’s All Ghoulish
Yeah, you win 😀
Huh, apparently it’s been over a year since Grace’s previous appearance.
So if tomorrow’s strip is named “Scandal Savage”… does that mean Billie and Ruth are the Lamentation Baes?
The fact that she apparently hasn’t eaten in like a day even with food RIGHT THERE NEXT TO HER and/or BROUGHT TO HER is in fact a worrying sign, yeah.
She’s got morning sickness! BILLIE SHOULD HAVE USED PROTECTION!
….. wait, not that kind of sign? Huh.
(Yeah, I know, serious topic. Shutting up now.)
“Howard, you REALLY need decent sex ed.”
Maybe she hates cookies? Like that could be it?
That is even MORE worrying.
Cookies aren’t FOOD. I have cookies that haven’t been eaten in a week, I still ate food.
okay I know it is kind of against the rules to detract from the strip by objectifying the characters, but…I-I want Carla to bench press me…she……strong………
We objectify the characters all the time! I drew a piece of fan art a few days ago with Dina’s head between Amber and Becky’s butts, and that wasn’t enough to get me in trouble! Not to mention the shear amount of Yotomoe stuff, and all of the Sal is so hot comments.
Also, I would be more interested in Walkyverse Joyce bench pressing me, given that she could life both me, and the bench.
Maybe Walkyverse Joyce could bench press Carla WHILE Carla bench presses me…yeah, that would be good…
Did Carla lift Billie by her boobs?
Sounds jolly painful.
Pff, what does Scandal Savage have to do with tragic lesbians?
Nothin’, yo. Scandal went to hell to save Knockout and then married Liana too.
Girl’s game is so strong it survived a universe reboot.
Life as one of the minor characters on this floor must be very odd. Regular, everyday life, punctuated by these odd moments of something bizarre that we, the readers, know the context of, but in-universe…
Do you think some of the girls will see a few of the main cast together and go “oh no, not them again, what’s happening now”? (Probably not, actually. Most of the plot stays out of the hallway, except for Carla.)
I take it you never lived in a student dorm?
Yeah, my first thought was “yeah, that’s dorm life all right”. Weird shit and drama tends to become the norm pretty quick.
Weird shit that happened to me in dorms in case people don’t believe this:
*The time a dude face-planted into the concrete wall outside my bedroom at 3AM on a Friday (long story short: business students had Fridays off so they all started getting drunk on Thursday) and I had to give first aid to a concussed belligerent drunk who wanted to fight the wall for his broken jaw until the ambulance arrived because our RA saw the blood, passed out, and then we had two people with concussions to give first aid to.
*The time I woke up and my roommate and her boyfriend were nude in bed together and the room smelled like sex (I am glad I’m a heavy sleeper).
*The time someone set the kitchenette on fire at 4AM, prompting a hall meeting about how you should call for a pizza delivery if you need drunk food rather than trying to cook something because fires are expensive. It was -35C out that night, and I was too “ARGH LOUD NOISE MUST GET OUTSIDE TOO LOUD TOO LOUD” to remember to grab my jacket, and after 45 minutes security managed to convince the uni to open up the SUB for us to wait in because I wasn’t the only one (the unluckiest of us had scrambled outside without even their shoes on).
*The time that a guy down the hall woke everyone up at one AM screaming about how he’ll “fucking kill” whoever did that to him… “That” being taking a shit on his chair.
*I could go on.
Main characters are not immune to this.
I used to joke around Agatha having a normal, sligthly boring time in college with all this drama going on around her.
That was before I knew she was a leading figure in la resistance.
The people on the sidelines are sometimes surprisingly clued-in, yet clueless…
They need some sort of social media alert deal. “Current hall conditions: Extreme drama with a chance of scattered screaming fits. Use the window.”
So Billie will not find out that Sal is NOT actually Amazi-Girl?
Not sure how I feel about that…it’s both a good laugh and a good cringe.
Obviously Carla is Amazigirl.
I thought she was Spider car. THE TWIST!!!
Technically she was, in a past life.
Carla’s ventriloquist act is off to a good start (There’s your DC character title for tomorrow, Willis).
Fuck, I spy Mary
Yep, time to worry. And not just about Ruth’s life.
Holy fuck she’s strong.
Oh geez, oh geez, this is going to be the chapter to end all chapters, isn’t it?
Not if Willis wants to feed his kids it isn’t.
Oh you know I don’t literally mean it’s the last chapter. I mean, it’s like a gamechanger, a status quo shift.
Which is weird considering it’s been like not even a full month in universe yet.
Good point. It’s just the current chapter’s ominous title giving me the willies.
Pun-time! Have a cookie
Actually it has. Comic started in late August, and it is now October 3.
Yeah but weekends don’t count everyone knows that gosh
Uh…. almost this entire book has been one weekend.
she really wants those cookies. and i strongly think Carla should join the roller derby. wow.
Honestly, the fear of losing someone you truly hold dear – in my opinion – is greater than any other you could face.
Have you ever seen like a really big bee
I am sensing in the aether that Mary will have some Lofwyr-level vengeance coming her way.
Huh, the sammy must be rubbing off on me. That name didn’t used to give me chills.
Never cut a deal with a dragon, never piss off a Ruthless.
Yesterday I was Grace, and today I am Mandy. And Grace is apparently in today’s comic. But not Mandy.
That’s gotta be a coincidence. Maybe? Kinda? …. okay, what are you REALLY trying to tell me, Grav Roulette?
I’m curious how Grace and Mandy got to be a couple in the same dorm room. Did they hook up on Week 1? Did they sign up to have a dorm room together because they had a long-standing relationship? Are they sophomores or later, and hooked up in an earlier year?
A shared dorm room is a huge commitment. It’s very hard to move out if the relationship fails. You’re basically committed to be there for the term, at least. MAYBE you can find someone to trade with you, if the college allows it, but that’s not reliable. It’s not AS bad as getting a house together, but it is harder than signing a 6mo lease on an apartment. You can at least break the lease and move elsewhere, but you’re a bit trapped in a dorm. Either they’re very committed to each other, or they’re behaving recklessly. Or both.
Ah, to be young and in love….
…. is to be stupid. Not for BEING in love, but because love usually makes young people stupid. (Not us old folk, though. We’re immune to those side effects. *cough*)
Also, this gravatar’s outdated. Mandy gave up red hair for a pale blue. As a natural redhead, I don’t get that. I love my hair color. I hate the fact that my ghoulishly pale skin (coupled with my cavedweller lifestyle) makes me burn in three seconds flat, but I love my hair. The only way I would ever dye it is if I could keep some of the original color. Like, maybe brush, mottle, stripe, highlight, or sponge in some statue-of-liberty green to get a brushed copper patina effect. But then I also don’t get piercings and tattoos. I guess I just don’t get customizing my appearance, period.
Given a choice between Mandy or Grace for a grav, I’d go with this old-hair Mandy because it’s like my hair. Otherwise…. I don’t have a preference between them.
Yeah. I was gonna ask “who the heck are you?” Until you spelled it out.
Still curious how you do the grav roulette thing. Not sure if you don’t want to answer or just don’t see the question, so I’m asking early this time. Different email, like taking advantage of the fact that, firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com go to the same email address?
That’s what I wanted to do, but my only gmail is my main account that I don’t like giving out.
Doing something else. If it was firstname.lastname@example.org, you can enter in Name@gmail.com, nAme@gmail.com, name@gmaIl.com, and NamE@gmAil.coM and so on and get different gravs each time. …. well, there are some repetitions, but still.
Sort of the same email, taking advantage of the fact that email isn’t case sensitive but grav assignment it.
email@example.com & Name@gmail.com get you different avatars, but the same email. Same for any email account.
Yes, exactly that, only with more examples that get my post moderated.
Isn’t it obvious what the roulette wants to tell you? You can’t have Mandy without Grace. If you have Grace, Mandy will follow soon after.
I like both explanations for why they are a couple and share a dorm. Their exact story might never be known, but whatever it is I’m sure it’s equal parts epic, stupid and sometimes sickenly sweet.
I’m pretty sure the story is they were assigned a room together as incoming freshmen and they quickly developed chemistry and started forming a sexual and romantic relationship very early on.
But did they lock the door?
And that’s the secret of their success that Becky wasn’t able to replicate. Also, not coming from a deeply homophobic religion and a school prone to calling in dads when spotting girl makeouts.
You could even say that locking the door was…
Especially right before they take a….
*second pair of sunglasses on top of the first*
*puts on a third pair of sunglasses and bolts*
I hope Carla didn’t step on Billie’s glasses.
For that matter I hope that Billie didn’t break Carla’s glasses with her palm strike in panel 4.
a slap like that shouldnt be able to break glasses
Quality, angle, force. It’s possible.
The fact that Billie just kept going after she lost her glasses is, honestly, the strongest testament to how worried she is in this strip.
She seems more like a D.Va or maybe Tracer than a Reaper player.
NO RACIST COOKIE MUST BU UNEATEN!!!!!!
…and Carla blasted Ruth’s and Billie’s closet open with almost Becky-like efficiency. Really, really nongood. 🙁
Carla and Becky: Closetbusters
Oh look, Carla’s me.
You know, I’m starting to think that the reason I want to see Mary change isn’t because of hope in my fellow man, or dreams that people are inherently good.
It’s because I want to start making Vegeta comparisons.
I could get behind that. So who’s Kakarot?
Joyce is Goku
Dina is Gohan
Becky is Krillin
Sarah is Piccolo
Danny is Yamcha
I agree. And laughed on Yamcha.
Pastor: Well it’s about time, Church girls tend to linger like a bad odor.
Joyce: goodbye Mary, you’re not as cold hearted as you believed yourself to be a heart of stone can’t shed tears like you did, you must have been holding them back your whole life.
I’m the only one left
I think I understand you now, you weren’t grieving over your own death, or because our church was destroyed. You were grieving because he turned you into what he wanted you to be, you never had a chance to be anything else. Well I still respect you, I know you made a lot of mistakes, but now I see that it wasn’t all your fault. You had the fiery will of a fundamentalist, please share that with me now…cause I need it.
Thank you for saving Dina’s life and for buying enough time for me to recoperate. I’ll do my best to Carry out your wish.
It’s true Mary’s right, you have no honor. For her and for everyone else you’ve destroyed..I am going to finish you.
“I do not know what this Yamcha is, but it sounds disappointing.”
Whoever wins the tournament is Kakarot/Goku.
Why do nerds insist on this? He’s goku. What does he call himself? Goku. Well then, problem solved, question over. Vegeta’s an asshole who doesn’t recognize the life he actually lived.
And yes, this actually matters.
And yes, it actually sucks when you go by a new, or your true, name, and others from when you were younger call you by the name you were given at birth, which they know you as. It’s a joke for it’s viewed from said asshole’s perspective. I typically call him Goku.
What does fake cheese have to do with it.
..Oh. Vegeta. As in, for your DB(Z) parodies. Gotcha. Didn’t realized it was you, due to the different grav.
That honestly has nothing to do with it, I already know how the tournament is going to end. Besides, I’m trying to parody shonen touraments in general HUNTERXHUNTER, Naruto etc. rather than just Dragonball.
Well, then, I don’t get what comparisons you could make. I mean, sure, he’s the closest DBZ character (assuming she reforms). But they’re still not that much alike.
Vegeta didn’t think he was the good guy fighting against evil, but a total jerk while doing it. He just thought he was strong and that strength was the most important thing. And he bands together with the good guys to fight a much bigger foe (a DBZ theme, really), and reluctantly learns they aren’t so bad. They fight his oppressive regime and grant him freedom, so he grows to like them.
Or, at least, that’s how I interpreted it. I admit it’s been a while.
Just Panel 4: Shove. I’ve commented above on Carla being able to carry Billie. It takes finding out the representation of her love for Ruth to not be enough to give her the strength to break out and do something, Mary be damned.
Oh, and in panel 1.5, Carla had Billie’s legs breaking through the border. She’s warming up for the fourth wall.
Mary be damned, indeed.
Considering that Carla just picked Billie up and carried her halfway down the hall she might want to change who she wrongly thinks is Amazi-Girl.
oh no mary
Upon hearing that Ruth really is seriously in trouble, Billie realised that Mary can pleasure herself with a wooden furniture leg for all she cares about her opinion.
It wasn’t Billie who broke up on behalf of Mary blackmailing Ruth.
*Carla will remember this*
Hm, considering the reveal of what happened/nearly happened to Becky’s mum, I wonder if Mary is going to say something unpleasant about Ruth’s suicidal behaviour right when Becky shows up again.
I don’t think Mary knows about that?
I think espanolbot means that Mary will say something nasty about suicide in regards to Ruth, and Becky will hear and get pissed.
I see your endgame, Willis. You wanna have every character to appear in Secret Six as a strip name.
In the subsequent strips Danny adopts a bunch of cats, Carla makes a really good pool shot, and Mary is referred to as the bane of the dorm.
I think ischemgeek from yesterday was on to something regarding Carla being extra sensitive to issues of suicidal ideation due to being trans. Cause being trans, you either know fellow trans folks that didn’t quite make it personally or you at least know of the staggering suicide rates of the community as a whole.
And I think we’re seeing the lengths she’s willing to go to to prevent losing someone else in the general queer community. Consequences be damned.
Carla is so stronk.
Panel 1: I love that Carla starts freaked out and doesn’t let the meandering conversations distract her from that panic state and her engineer-like methods of trying to solve it. Like, yeah yeah, Amazi-girl and closets, but suicidal woman that you put me in charge of, so boom, we’re gonna go actually handle that now.
And now that she knows that Billie knew that she was suicidal when she asked her to check up on her, she’s got zero patience for being drawn into the complex web of secrets and half-truths. She’s done with the beating around the bush if it can help save the life of someone put into her charge.
Panel 2: Oh, Bob, poor Billie :'( She’s so terrified in that panel and looks so small as she tries to beg for what she thinks is right to best protect Ruth. After all, Ruth’s last request of her was to prioritize keeping the secret, staying away, and making sure Mary couldn’t beat them by outing them. And Billie has good reason to believe that Ruth will be massively fucked over if their secret becomes public knowledge.
And that small font, wavering speech lines, constant trailing off. It’s just tragic, because she needs to communicate to Carla that it isn’t just some fear of being out about the relationship in general, but that there’s real reasons why the closet is critical for her and Ruth.
Panel 3: And I like that it seems like Carla gets it. She doesn’t say anything about their dating while now more publicly in the hall. She just states the facts of what caused her to panic and run over to her in the first place. That Ruth is catatonic, that she can’t even manage to keep the cookies on the bed, much less eat them, that she’s in a bad bad place.
And it gets at the heart of why Carla is being so firm. She may have been slow to recognize it (or is recognizing that Ruth isn’t the only one depressed and stewing in inaction because of it), but she’s not going to just ignore the suicidal ideation in the room and assume it’ll all work itself out. And poor Billie, you can see how deep that resonates and frightens her too.
And I think it really fits into the whole baby tranarchist thing Carla’s got going on. Where she’s plugged in and political and knows just how bad the stats are for queer folks when it comes to suicide. And she’s determined to fight it in this small way if she can. No matter what.
And that’s pretty kickass.
Panel 4: And it’s go time for Billie as well.
Panel 5: Uh oh, Mary is noticing. But Billie no longer cares if others find out. Despite it being unhealthy in many ways, and despite the origins of the relationship being really toxic and awful, Billie loves Ruth and even though she’s trying to live by Ruth’s last request. She also knows that Ruth uses any excuse to push away the last of her support network away in order to create an excuse to die.
It’s probably going to be really tragic in the long-run as Mary plots her next moves, but in the short-term. We have a woman rushing to try and support the woman that she loves and keep her alive.
And that’s kinda beautiful.
Of course, a solution immediately becomes apparent to the problem brewing in panel 5.
Mary is taller than Billie, but probably slimmer, too. Probably about the same weight, maybe a bit lighter unless there’s a lot of muscle there.
Carla is right behind Billie, probably hasn’t made it to Mary’s door yet.
Carla is demonstrably able to pick up and carry Billie-sized objects places, and Ruth has refused to enforce rules for anything Carla does to Mary.
And, Mary could use a ride to church, it looks like.
ENGINEERS GET SHIT DONE
“Ah solve practical problems.”
Engineers! Fix problems!
“Cookies on the floor” belongs in a Heavy Metal song.
I’m thinking black metal.
COOKIES ON THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
NOT ON MY PLATE ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOORE
‘CAUSE I BUMPED INTO THE DOOOOOOOOOOOR
BE PALS WITH SATAN
*whisper* Left the cookies on the floor, left the cookies on the floor, left the cookies on the floor, left the cookies on the-
Dammit, you beat me to it.
I was thinking country and western
“I left my cookies on the FLOoOOOOR”
You have to work in your pickup truck breaking, your best dog dying, and your girl leaving you.
As she walked out the door
I dropped my cookies on the floor
My dog choked on the crumbs
And my pickup’s blown it’s end.
Blues: “Woke up this morning, tossed my cookies on the floor/Drunk another whisky, just couldn’t take any more.”
Classical: “My tiny cooooookies are frooooozen, I cannot feel the cruuuumbs.”
“She’s spurning my cookies / I’m not getting nookie / I’ll just take a look-see / Make sure she’s not dead….”
I’m sure this will only go to good places.
next page : *crunch munch munch* oh thank god they’re not stale
Hey Ruth do you want any?
Carla must have some wicked core/bicep strength to lift her like that and stay upright. Id test the realism of this, but feisty Asian girls that don’t mind being used for curls are in short supply
I’ve done the one-arm thing before, but it is really really hard to keep sustained for anything more than a few seconds and required doing a two hand-lift to get into position.
Carla activates Mega-Strength!
It’s Super Effective!
You could have just used Strength you know. That’s an actual move.
carla is way strong! I wonder if she can pick me up for some reason now.
I was just thinking that. Seriously, that’s a difficult angle to lift someone up from and she’s making it look so easy.
Actually, all jokes aside, I do wonder how Mary would react to knowing she created a situation that was effectively torturing Ruth to death.
I know she has gone out of her way to look like a typical bigot, but is she really so far gone that she would feel guilt at that? She seems more like the talk-the-talk. but never experienced the results of walk-the-walk type of hate-monger.
Might this be one of those eye0opening moments for her?
I have an uncomfortable sense her reaction would be: She should suffer for her sins.
like this onion article: http://www.theonion.com/article/gay-conversion-therapists-claim-most-patients-full-38406
warning: suicide mention, gay therapy
Content Warning: Victim blaming for suicide, bigotry
From my experience, bigots rarely take home any real messages from exacerbating mental health issues or even driving someone to suicide. Usually, they find some way to blame it on the victim’s weakness or use it as proof that they were right to target the victim because “look how crazy and unhealthy that lifestyle was”.
And others will straight up celebrate the death and wear it as a mark of pride*.
I gather Mary would be more the “her sin pushed her out of the favor of the lord and her unnatural lusts drove her to such a state of unhappiness, she should have accepted Jesus, so it’s not my fault” type rather than the straight up celebrating the death type.
Though I 100% agree, I would be happy if this situation might drive Mary to reconsider how she affects other people. It’d lead to a better situation for all.
*re-reads last period.*
*remembers this is Dumbing of Age*
*breaks down in hysterical laughter/cry*
Dunno. Full-blown bigots, sure, but Mary is just a college student, and college students, from my experience, aren’t always as locked in as their parents wish they were. Heck, that’s why a lot of these parents are afraid of sending their kids to college in the first place; out of fear that they’ll change.
Don’t know if I’m ready just yet to lump Mary in with all the rest. She is still young, and young people do stupid things, but they also learn, and sometimes, they even improve themselves. Joyce did, after all, and she was all about the condemnation of pre-marital hanky-panky, once upon a time.
Yeah, young people can make permanent mistakes though. And I probably used the wrong word above, because it’s not just bigots that wash their hands of the dead they make and find justifications to not change their minds. It’s bullies in general and Mary is very much a bully in addition to being prejudiced and, in my mind, a bigot.
And bullies don’t just go, holy shit, I helped heap on shit on someone going through a lot and drove them to suicide, what’s wrong with me, because that’s going against their mental image of their self. So they find a way to push that back on the victim.
See also harassment victims in general and how their harassers find anyway to blame them for all the shit they throw at their victims and then use that as justification that their victim is such a lying manipulator to make up all these fake attacks against themselves, it justifies even worse abuse.
Basically, I’m thinking of the stuff cited here (CONTENT WARNING: ALL THE AWFUL): http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/07/kiwi-farms-the-webs-biggest-community-of-stalkers.html
Redemption is always possible, but Mary & Joyce were very different from the start. Similar churches. Similar teachings. Very different attitudes towards people. The religion certainly feeds into it, but Mary enjoys it. I get the feeling she’d be a nasty piece of work without religion as well. Just in a different direction.
Mary’s just as much part of it as the older folks. They are all equally capable of change. Being capable of change does not change how much you prop up bigotry in the here and now. If in the future, you prop it up less, that is good. If you prop it up much less, so much the better.
The general assumption here seems to be that Mary is simply misguided by her religion, but honestly, she gives me the sense of someone who is just using her religion as a way to stroke her own ego and feel superior to others.
She isn’t a terrible person because she’s religious, she’s a terrible person because she’s a terrible person, and religion is just her favorite tool for being awful.
Ironically, Mary had little to do with this since Ruth wanted to commit suicide before. I’d love for Mary to reconsider you know, being a decent person, because I used to be a fundamentalist piece of shit like her. A vision of God telling me not to be an asshole (plus also meeting queer people and not having the heart/insanity to be mean to them–because why would I? It makes no damn sense if I’m trying to be good) saved me from becoming even more Mary but I’d love to see her turn away from the Dark Theocratic Side. I understand if very very few individuals like her do, though.
Weird, there’s a part missing between the first two sentences.
Ironically, Mary had little to do with this since Ruth wanted to commit suicide before. That doesn’t mean she isn’t responsible for absolutely APPALLING and outright evil behavior. I’d love for Mary to reconsider you know, being a decent person, because I used to be a fundamentalist piece of shit like her. A vision of God telling me not to be an asshole (plus also meeting queer people and not having the heart/insanity to be mean to them–because why would I? It makes no damn sense if I’m trying to be good) saved me from becoming even more Mary but I’d love to see her turn away from the Dark Theocratic Side. I understand if very very few individuals like her do, though.
Well, the part of that is that yes, Ruth wanted to kill herself before, but then Mary decided to blackmail her, set up a feeling that she has no options and escape, and that it was a risk to continue using her coping strategy.
It’s like throwing away an asthmatic’s inhaler. Yeah, that might not necessarily kill the person depending on how things go and technically it’s not you killing them, it’s their illness that was in existence from before hand, but the asshole still made it unnecessarily harder for them to survive and would bear some major responsibility for creating the conditions that eventually consumed their target for harassment.
It’s why bullying suicidal folks is a really dangerous game (hell, why bullying anyone is a dangerous “game”).
That all said, yeah, I’d be down for Mary to be redeemed. I feel that she offers too much narratively as a foil for it to happen anytime soon, but I’m always a fan of folks realizing how shitty they’ve been and using it to improve themselves. I feel we’re seeing that in droves with Joyce and Hank’s arcs at the moment.
The sticking point for me is that Mary knows Becky is hiding in the dorm and for some reason is not going to tell anyone that she’s there, because to do so means kicking Becky out of the main setting of the series.
I guess it’s possible, even more likely, that this ultimately was just about taking power over Ruth and she doesn’t actually care enough to say anything, though.
Are…are we SURE that Carla isn’t a robot in this universe? because i’m pretty strong and i know a lot of other strong people and i don’t know that any of us could do what she’s so effortlessly doing
Is that Mary in the last panel? Almost missed her in my surge of emotion from seeing Billie just take off like that.
Yup. Hopefully she doesn’t get out a camera to photograph Billie going into Ruth’s room, then either use that as further blackmail material or send it to Ruth’s supervisors
Holy shit, Carla is strong.
All this and nobody is concerned about Billy’s missing glasses? I hope they didn’t get stepped on.
Billie’s glasses fell between panel 2&3, I hope no one will accidentally walk on them.
Way to lift!
After seeing Carla do that lift, Mary should think twice before going all fundie-sabotage on Billie and Ruth.
I hope Bloody Mary had a heart and let them be
I’m also a bit worried that Mary seems to be holding a bible.
Don’t worry, she hasn’t whipped any candles for spare hearts so she won’t be able to use it to attack anybody.
I mean, we’re in the post SotN age. She has her own independent MP pool. Aquatus’ worries are valid.
Heck, we’re in the post castlevania age. Good thing Bloodstained looks pretty good (And Igarashi has historically been a producer so he knows how to /actually/ get shit done)
Ha. Hopefully Bloodstained doesn’t make us cry like anime fans on prom night.
Augh, I know that feeling, Billie.
I predict a Book Title:
“Your stupid secret love is dumb and nobody cares”
no san diego comic-con, the sorries
Who should be doodled inside Book 6?
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