Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 11, 2026

Chaperone

by David M Willis on January 28, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Men are from Beck, Women are from Clark
└ Tags: joe, joyce, mike, ruth

Discussion (115) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    January 28, 2011 at 12:01 am | #

    So who gets it in the FAAAAAAAACE first? Mike or Ruth?

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      January 28, 2011 at 1:56 am | #

      Someone’s going to get Joe’d in the FAAACE?

      • Soundbucket
        Soundbucket
        January 28, 2011 at 2:20 am | #

        Someone’s going to get Joed in the FAAAACE with his penis.

        • Seraph
          Seraph
          January 28, 2011 at 8:37 am | #

          Well, it’s clearly not going to be Joyce. Not tonight, at least.

          • Pat
            Pat
            January 28, 2011 at 12:30 pm | #

            Depends on whose definition of “inappropriate”.

    • Jonny The Eyepatch
      Jonny The Eyepatch
      March 20, 2011 at 1:57 pm | #

      Someone’s going to get Mike’d* in the face.

  2. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    January 28, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    No Ruth! Not the uniform! And I love how Mike is so Mike.

  3. Teowulf
    Teowulf
    January 28, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    This is going to end well.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      January 28, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

      Oh so well. Though perhaps not too well for Joe’s Penis.

    • Volkai
      Volkai
      January 28, 2011 at 2:59 pm | #

      This is NOT going to end well.

      This is going to end AWESOME.

      • Matt
        Matt
        January 28, 2011 at 3:59 pm | #

        But since Mike’s there, he could jump kick something and it might end LAWSOME. With political science Professor Bart O’Ryan.

  4. Alix
    Alix
    January 28, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    Is… is it bad if I ship Ruth and Mike just a little bit now?

    • arjay2813
      arjay2813
      January 28, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

      do it. for a nickel.

    • Alechsa
      Alechsa
      January 28, 2011 at 11:47 pm | #

      No! Sal and Mike!!!

      They will rule the world <3

    • MM
      MM
      January 29, 2011 at 11:55 am | #

      Yes, but it’s okay. We can be wrong together.

      • Chocobonobo
        Chocobonobo
        December 18, 2011 at 6:17 pm | #

        Is it bad if I ship you and Alix just a little bit now?

  5. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    January 28, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    that is so awesome of ruth..but wat is she doing? a billiekini perhaps

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 28, 2011 at 12:38 am | #

      I harbor perverse sexual lust for the Billiekini :p

  6. Mack
    Mack
    January 28, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    Mike+Ruth one of the most enjoyable strips so far

    • Volkai
      Volkai
      January 28, 2011 at 3:00 pm | #

      Strips, or ships?

      • mrelegos
        mrelegos
        December 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm | #

        Yes.

  7. Alice Macher
    Alice Macher
    January 28, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

    Ah, so she did ask Ruth first.

    I still think Joe’s better off with Mike. He believes in “love or whatever,” after all. *snrk*

    • Soundbucket
      Soundbucket
      January 28, 2011 at 2:30 am | #

      “Whatever” being “his penis”.

      • MJ
        MJ
        January 28, 2011 at 8:52 am | #

        Mike often tells the truth in the worst possible way.

        • Alechsa
          Alechsa
          January 28, 2011 at 11:49 pm | #

          The sad part is he MIGHT actually be telling the truth… Mike has morals… he’s just also an asshole.

          • Crimson Magic
            Crimson Magic
            January 29, 2011 at 5:33 pm | #

            That would be a fun twist on Mike.

  8. Joebo
    Joebo
    January 28, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

    In the FAAAAAAAAACE!!!

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 28, 2011 at 12:39 am | #

      FAAAAAAACE!

    • Mute
      Mute
      January 28, 2011 at 3:07 am | #

      You couldn’t possibly have a better avatar in this situation.

      *crosses fingers and hopes my FAAAACE turns out to be Billie’s*

  9. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    January 28, 2011 at 12:15 am | #

    Mike: his mere presence fills me with laughter.

  10. Chrisby
    Chrisby
    January 28, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

    Everyone who picked “I harbor perverse sexual lust” in the poll is getting punched in the FAAAAAACE.

    • Trae Dorn
      Trae Dorn
      January 28, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

      True Fans pick “perverse sexual lust” at every opportunity.

      Especially if it’s about a puppy.

      To bad they’re in dorms.

      Or else Joyce could have a puppy.

      • Undrave
        Undrave
        January 28, 2011 at 12:51 am | #

        Hear hear!!

      • Volkai
        Volkai
        January 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm | #

        True Fans are getting punched in the FAAAAAAAAAAACE

    • arjay2813
      arjay2813
      January 28, 2011 at 12:40 am | #

      Well it is “perverse” and not just “sexual lust…” although i dont quite know if that was what Willis was going for

      • Trae Dorn
        Trae Dorn
        January 28, 2011 at 9:53 am | #

        For those confused, PSL is a classic David Willis fandom phrase.

        Here’s the Walkypedia entry:
        http://www.walkypedia.com/index.php/PSL

        The term Perverse Sexual Lust has spread around quite a bit since then.
        http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PerverseSexualLust

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      January 28, 2011 at 2:30 pm | #

      I harbor perverse sexual lust for your Dina avatar.

    • Alechsa
      Alechsa
      January 28, 2011 at 11:50 pm | #

      By Mike. Which is Acceptable. <3 I heart me that jackass.

  11. Linkara
    Linkara
    January 28, 2011 at 12:29 am | #

    You know, I’m sure Ruth’s conduct can be reported to someone… stealing and (I assume) damaging another student’s property? I’m sure the school would love to know she engages in such activities.

    • Zaffino
      Zaffino
      January 28, 2011 at 2:29 pm | #

      People have done much worse in dorms and gotten away with it. That’s the fun of living in them 🙂

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      January 28, 2011 at 2:42 pm | #

      Holy crap, it’s Linkara!

      However, to address your point…
      1) Ruth is the Resident Adviser for the ladies side of this dorm. The RA’s are to be treated like the Egyptian deity for which they’re named.
      2) So far the damage is threatened. Any accusation of theft would have to be taken up with campus security, to which the RA could just claim said item to be “lost & found” without proof of theft.
      3) I know this isn’t related to this comic, but is the thing that should not be in this universe the Alan Moore-Rob Liefeld collaboration?

    • SonicBlueRanger
      SonicBlueRanger
      August 31, 2011 at 2:25 pm | #

      Linkara is Walky! My day is offically complete I can just go to bed now nothing will top the awesome of that.

  12. goatman95111
    goatman95111
    January 28, 2011 at 12:34 am | #

    Meh, Ruth could be easily sanctioned. You just need to hire the late Roy Scheider and present him with a highly advanced attack helicopter.

  13. ScytheAkse
    ScytheAkse
    January 28, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

    in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace with joes penis.

    on a side note, i’d be totally pissed in joes shoes.

    • BriGuy
      BriGuy
      January 28, 2011 at 1:36 pm | #

      Dont piss in Joe’s shoes. That’s just low. Man’s already not getting any tonight.

      • ScytheAkse
        ScytheAkse
        January 28, 2011 at 9:17 pm | #

        i say he pulls the girls trick and asks mike to join him in the restroom, where he’ll then proceed to ducktape mike to a urinal.. joyce would then probably be so confused without a chaperone that she’d probably accept whatever joe wanted. if he took advantage of that i’d then have to jump into the comic and destroy him sooo i hope he’s smarter then that 😛

  14. Scott
    Scott
    January 28, 2011 at 12:43 am | #

    Preamble:
    By going on this date the undersigned, hereafter referred to as ‘the Gentleman’, agrees to one fist to the face if the conditions of Clause A are met.

    Clause A:
    Mike feels you need punched.

    Signature: _________ Date: ______

  15. Undrave
    Undrave
    January 28, 2011 at 12:54 am | #

    Is Ruth going to go torment Billie some more? I expect her to find Billie and Walky both drunk on whiskey and McNuggets.

    • NF
      NF
      January 28, 2011 at 1:03 am | #

      This has to happen! Willis, make this happen!

      “Again, I’m not friends with him!”

  16. NF
    NF
    January 28, 2011 at 12:58 am | #

    This comic is full of win!

  17. Eri
    Eri
    January 28, 2011 at 1:07 am | #

    I thought Joyce saw Ruth as a bully? And Billie as her hero? Promptly replaced by Sal? So who should be the real chaperone here, hmm?

    • Gianni
      Gianni
      January 28, 2011 at 1:14 am | #

      I’m glad someone else caught that Joyce thought Ruth was a bully. Doesn’t entirely make sense to me but otherwise today’s strip is cake.

      • George
        George
        January 28, 2011 at 1:19 am | #

        Joyce asked Mike despite his “payment”. I think she’s going for someone who can and will break bones if needed, not someone she considers a “friend”, a “hero”, or even a good person.

      • Alechsa
        Alechsa
        January 28, 2011 at 11:54 pm | #

        Joyce isn’t a total naive ditz this time around… she understands SOME parts of dating involve the guy possibly wanting in your pants… she went to the two most intimidating and accessible people she had met thus far.

  18. Shift
    Shift
    January 28, 2011 at 1:12 am | #

    There is just something really creepy / adoroble with how Joyce is in regards to her whole approach to dating.

    And I’m really surprised Joe’s reaction isn’t: “I’m not going on a date with a Chaperon.” I mean, even if he wasn’t interested in solely “Joe-ing” her, who’d be able to enjoy a date with Mike glowering at you, and eying the dumpster behind the pizza place?

  19. Matt of Steel
    Matt of Steel
    January 28, 2011 at 1:12 am | #

    I don’t know why but it really bothers me who much Ruth is straight up abusing her position and harassing Billie. Sure Billie didn’t make a good first impression, but Ruth is taking this way too damn far.

  20. Gianni
    Gianni
    January 28, 2011 at 1:16 am | #

    I’d let Mike punch me… in the FAAAAAAAACE. But there might be something wrong with me…

  21. Jabberwocky
    Jabberwocky
    January 28, 2011 at 1:35 am | #

    And then they’ll die.

    Of face-punching.

    • Soundbucket
      Soundbucket
      January 28, 2011 at 2:18 am | #

      With his penis.

    • Cinder
      Cinder
      January 29, 2011 at 1:18 am | #

      MY LITTLE PONY AVATAR!!! Ahem…

      • Jabberwocky
        Jabberwocky
        January 30, 2011 at 9:37 pm | #

        My Little Pony DOCTOR WHO avatar. 98779807894057982043758904375980347509574389539482057834975023452345435345656435645643456542789073480685% cooler.

  22. Azumango
    Azumango
    January 28, 2011 at 1:36 am | #

    I betcha Joe won’t make it out of the pizza place with out getting punched. In the FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    • Cha
      Cha
      January 28, 2011 at 10:44 am | #

      With his penis.

      • zuche
        zuche
        January 30, 2011 at 10:18 pm | #

        That would leave more than a mark. Reattachment surgery may be required.

  23. Dahlia
    Dahlia
    January 28, 2011 at 1:39 am | #

    Uh-oh, Billie better hurry if she wants her uniform back in one piece! D:

  24. Shade
    Shade
    January 28, 2011 at 1:44 am | #

    I think Joyce made the right choice in chaperone.

  25. Robert in San Diego
    Robert in San Diego
    January 28, 2011 at 2:43 am | #

    Did Sarah suggest the chaperone? And if not, who did the screening?

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      January 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm | #

      Way to not get the context of the comic. Joyce’s dad normally chaperones her dates. This is the first one where her dad’s unavailable, so she sought someone to fill in.

  26. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    January 28, 2011 at 3:29 am | #

    That’s it. I’m totally shipping Ruth/Mike.

    Which portmanteaus into “Muth.”
    Which is the last name of an actress I harbor PSL for. Woohoo!

    • ADHadh
      ADHadh
      January 28, 2011 at 6:56 am | #

      Mike doesn’t deserve that.

      • Gianni
        Gianni
        January 28, 2011 at 7:11 am | #

        No, but Ruth DOES.

      • Alechsa
        Alechsa
        January 28, 2011 at 11:55 pm | #

        Said with an Amber avatar…. I love that.

  27. Dr. ROFLPWN
    Dr. ROFLPWN
    January 28, 2011 at 4:15 am | #

    Mike, you don’t understand! He got permission from her roommate to shove his dick all up in her! The green light has already been given!

  28. TheAlucinaut
    TheAlucinaut
    January 28, 2011 at 4:45 am | #

    Now I desperately want a t-shirt or something with a big image of Mike’s face and the text “I believe in Love and Stuff.”

    I NEEDS ETT.

    • Random Webcomics Junkie
      Random Webcomics Junkie
      January 30, 2011 at 2:38 pm | #

      Yes.

      I do not normally buy webcomics merchandise, but I would buy that shirt. I would buy the HELL out of that shirt.

  29. Blah
    Blah
    January 28, 2011 at 7:32 am | #

    All this Ruth/Mike shipping and you guys are somehow missing the obvious?

    Joyce/Mike needs to happen.

  30. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    January 28, 2011 at 9:00 am | #

    Hmmmmmmm, so is Ruth going to walk in on a drunk Billie, or a post drunk, vomiting in the toilette, hung over Billie?

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 28, 2011 at 5:35 pm | #

      Drunk Billy AND Walky. Eating McNuggets!

  31. Compass
    Compass
    January 28, 2011 at 9:06 am | #

    Mike believes in loving or whatevering… your mom?

    • Cha
      Cha
      January 28, 2011 at 10:46 am | #

      With his penis.
      (Couldn’t resist).

      • Rybridge
        Rybridge
        May 31, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        For a nickel.

  32. Robert in San Diego
    Robert in San Diego
    January 28, 2011 at 10:08 am | #

    What are the odds Billie’s dead to the world and Sal will be like “what roommate form?” when Ruth walks in. I know cheerleader uniform fabrics usually stretch, but can Billie fit that thing? It looks Dina-sized.

  33. begbert2
    begbert2
    January 28, 2011 at 10:45 am | #

    Maybe it’s my overdeveloped sense of property rights, but the notion of Ruth carelessly destroying Billie’s prized possession crosses the line from “doing her job much more harshly than necessary” to “horrible person who needs to be destroyed.”

  34. Cha
    Cha
    January 28, 2011 at 10:48 am | #

    I don’t think I like DOARuth very much. There’re other ways to handle the problem there.

    YES. Mike is an awesome chaperone. As long as he’s not chaperoning your mom, I mean.
    (Also, since the last strip is called “Three”, I basically have this mental image of Mike, Joyce, and Joe dancing to the song. Just thought I’d share that with you lot).

  35. Chaun
    Chaun
    January 28, 2011 at 10:53 am | #

    What I don’ understand is, is why Mike is so willing to punch people in the face who clearly have more muscle mass then him, when he doesn’t have Abductee strength any more?

    • beeftony
      beeftony
      January 28, 2011 at 11:11 am | #

      Because he believes in punching or whatever.

      • Chaun
        Chaun
        January 28, 2011 at 11:44 am | #

        True… But Joe looks like he can punch Cock-blockers…

        … NOT GONNA SAY IT… NOT GONNA SAY IT…

        Fine… with his penis.

        • Gianni
          Gianni
          January 28, 2011 at 5:58 pm | #

          Even if he was willing to punch cockblockers (hehehe) in the FAAAACE, Joe must realize that doing so would most likely turn Joyce against him, she being a naif and all. That gets in the way of perrogative #1: Get Laid.

    • friartuck
      friartuck
      January 28, 2011 at 6:12 pm | #

      I think it’s less a question of why Mike’s willing and more a question of why Joe isn’t yet pulling the tough guy card and pointing out the size difference.

    • Lokitsu
      Lokitsu
      January 28, 2011 at 7:47 pm | #

      Mike didn’t have super strength during the Its Walky! run. He got it the same way everyone but Sal and Walky did, he was placed in the resurrection machine. That apparently happened sometime between the end of IW! and beginning of his appearance in SP.

      Mike’s just always been a badass with a high tolerance for pain.

      • Chaun
        Chaun
        January 29, 2011 at 12:17 am | #

        No, He was always as strong as Walky in IW! They both could “Benchpress a car”

  36. Al the Mighty
    Al the Mighty
    January 28, 2011 at 1:13 pm | #

    Ruth is busy tonight… With my… Ehm. I suppose Billie didn’t find Sal…

  37. The E-man
    The E-man
    January 28, 2011 at 1:17 pm | #

    Is it weird that I actually like Billie? I mean, I know she can be a jerk or whatever but she’s always been on the top of the world and now she isn’t anymore and she doesn’t know what to do. I feel like most of us go through that moment of our lives but hopefully sooner than college. It happened to me in high school, so it wasn’t too bad.

    I dunno..I just feel sorry for her and I want her to shape up and mature…I also feel what Ruth is planning to do is mean, cause some of us need those memories. But it could lead to a good epiphany for Billie that she needs to let go of high school and figure out college. hmmm….

    • Gianni
      Gianni
      January 28, 2011 at 5:56 pm | #

      I’m totally with you on that. I want Billie to get better and this whole situation with Ruth and Sal basically fucking her over might make her stronger but it sucks that she has to undergo that crap this early. She just needs to grow up, but it seems like Ruth is just being an ass because she can, not to actually be of help.

  38. Ezzy
    Ezzy
    January 28, 2011 at 3:25 pm | #

    Mike believes in love.

    Loving your mom.

    Only instead of loving, it’s fucking.
    For a nickel.

    • Alechsa
      Alechsa
      January 29, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

      With change due.

  39. Mystrana
    Mystrana
    January 28, 2011 at 4:26 pm | #

    Is Joe’s use of the word “we” a go-to move to get Joyce to feel closer to him quicker or is it a subtle indication of his falling for Joyce?
    (Hidden answer C: or I am reading too much into his choice of pronouns).

  40. Jessy
    Jessy
    January 28, 2011 at 4:28 pm | #

    Joyce is a smart girl =)

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      January 31, 2011 at 12:00 am | #

      Actually, it just occurred to me that she thought Ruth was a bully… so…? =’

      *COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OH MY!*

  41. skies
    skies
    January 28, 2011 at 7:10 pm | #

    Mike + Ruth, duo of doom.

  42. halcyon1234
    halcyon1234
    January 28, 2011 at 8:56 pm | #

    Mike can fill in for her dad, because he’s already filled in her mom.

    • Alechsa
      Alechsa
      January 29, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

      WIN.

    • Chiatroll
      Chiatroll
      January 29, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

      with his penis

  43. Cinder
    Cinder
    January 29, 2011 at 1:26 am | #

    Oh, God, I adore Mike.

    Curse my inability for sharp, witty comments. There’s one in my head, I’m sure of it, but it won’t come out. ;-;

  44. BD
    BD
    January 30, 2011 at 1:16 am | #

    Wait, did Ruth make Mike volunteer…?

    • Skye
      Skye
      January 30, 2011 at 3:49 am | #

      Nobody makes Mike do anything. Mike does what he wants, remember?

  45. Skye
    Skye
    January 30, 2011 at 3:54 am | #

    I will likely become the ire of many people… but I am GLAD Ruth is a total b*tch! I like her that way. I mean, she came off as one back during Roomies!. There was also this huge animosity between her and Billie in Roomies!, so it makes sense for it to exist here too. However, whereas in Roomies! we saw Billie being as much of or even more of a b*tch than Ruth, here we see the positions have changed.

    Plus I’m a sucker for a woman who will go out of her way to make people’s lives miserable.

    … there is something seriously wrong with me. I think I need to be punched. In the FAAAAAAAAACE.

    • Zanosuke Kurosaki
      Zanosuke Kurosaki
      January 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm | #

      Uhhhh… You need to go back and reread Roomies. Ruth practically -raised- Billie, so there was no “huge animosity between them.” The only animosity Billie had was for Mary, for her two-faced lies, and Sal, for her inability to move on with her life and leave Danny be (and by then we were into “It’s Walky!”, anyway.) Ruth and Billie weren’t huge bongoes back during Roomies, either, Billie just had some rather large family problems (both parents lushes with mother being promiscuous, if recalled correctly), and Ruth just made sure Joe got the message to stop abusing her little brother Howard. You sure you were readin’ the same comic I was? o.O

      • Skye
        Skye
        January 30, 2011 at 7:44 pm | #

        Hmm, I got it mixed up. It was her other roommates Billie couldn’t stand, and with Ruth gone she hated them even more to the point where she left.

        Man, why do I recall their being such animosity between Billie and Ruth in Roomies?

  46. Heather
    Heather
    January 30, 2011 at 3:21 pm | #

    See I’m not so sure she’s going to trash her outfit.

    Possibly modify it so it fits just a tad too snugly. Hence Billie thinks she’s getting fat and gets messed around and any chance of reprimanding goes out the window.

    Or maybe I’m over-estimating her IDK. Besides she’d fearless too.

    • Slyness
      Slyness
      January 30, 2011 at 10:38 pm | #

      Or possibly Ruth’s busy night consists of walking past Billie’s room a few times, cheerleader outfit in one hand and scissors in the other, saying “snip snip snip!” and cackling evilly?

  47. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    July 7, 2011 at 11:56 pm | #

    Schh-edule?

  48. Hinoron
    Hinoron
    December 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm | #

    She has chosen… wisely. ^_^

    • Mitsukara
      Mitsukara
      November 28, 2014 at 4:45 pm | #

      She sure knows how to select people skilled at punching-related assistance, considering she asked Ruth first!

  49. khambatta
    khambatta
    July 8, 2013 at 3:44 am | #

    Mike’s sad face, admitting to his one vulnerability.

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