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A college webcomic by David Willis
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Retardo
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September 28, 2023

Retardo

by David M Willis on May 6, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 05 - Media Rumble

└ Tags: daisy, danny, dorothy, joe

Discussion (142) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. The Pedantic Frogboy
    The Pedantic Frogboy
    May 6, 2011 at 12:02 am | #

    Yes, Joe, the retardo is you. Although that’s not the preferred nomenclature. “Developmentally disabled-o”, please.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 6, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

      That should be a character on Jackass.

      • Dave
        Dave
        May 6, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

        It was, but his real name was steve so it just got shortened to steve-o

        • Skye
          Skye
          May 6, 2011 at 2:35 am | #

          I chuckled at this.

        • Kira
          Kira
          May 6, 2011 at 3:35 am | #

          +1
          Or you know, whatever method of compliment you choose to accept.
          Kira likes this, etc.

    • Yo
      Yo
      May 6, 2011 at 5:55 pm | #

      Person-With-A-Developmental-Disabilityo

  2. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    May 6, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    WELL, so much for Roz being a nicer person…>_>

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      May 6, 2011 at 2:38 am | #

      Well, when did she say it wouldn’t be online? Also, girl’s got to pay those college fees somehow.

      • Rayri
        Rayri
        May 7, 2011 at 8:35 am | #

        I think you’re supposed to say if something will be online, not the other way around :/

      • Shift
        Shift
        May 7, 2011 at 1:51 pm | #

        Knowing Joe, he probably stopped listening to Roz after “Let’s have Sex”, during which she explained about the videos

  3. thatgirlwiththeglasses
    thatgirlwiththeglasses
    May 6, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

    Oh, Joe. You are so screwed. And not in the literal sense.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 6, 2011 at 12:10 am | #

      Because the second sense doesn’t really have to be stated with Joe. His name is synonymous with sex.

    • fhornrocks
      fhornrocks
      May 6, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

      that part already happened and what got him into this mess

      • TemplarKnight
        TemplarKnight
        May 6, 2011 at 3:09 am | #

        And we got the video to prove it!

      • Henry
        Henry
        May 7, 2011 at 12:23 am | #

        He got screwed because he got screwed.

    • Lunchbox
      Lunchbox
      May 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm | #

      Joe’s been Joe’d?

      • madd
        madd
        May 7, 2011 at 1:52 am | #

        We’ve been over this before. He got Roe’d

  4. The Sound Defense
    The Sound Defense
    May 6, 2011 at 12:05 am | #

    Apparently in Willis universes sex videos are just free to post anywhere.

    • JK9000
      JK9000
      May 6, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

      Truly, a better world.

    • Clementine
      Clementine
      May 6, 2011 at 12:07 am | #

      In our universe, too.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 6, 2011 at 12:11 am | #

        It really isn’t hard…

        • CWR
          CWR
          May 6, 2011 at 12:39 am | #

          Well, that’s disappointing. Not much of a sex video, then?

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            May 6, 2011 at 1:36 am | #

            I see what you did there.

            • CWR
              CWR
              May 6, 2011 at 5:38 am | #

              I also did it over here, but no one saw that.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                May 6, 2011 at 6:21 am | #

                I should sincerely hope not, otherwise accusations of attention whoredom would have to be pressed. 😛

                • Lokitsu
                  Lokitsu
                  May 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm | #

                  Well, if you press it, you’ll get the wrinkles out.

  5. Janette
    Janette
    May 6, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

    The expressions in the last video.

    I still like Roz. Still supporting that there’s no logic except I like the characters you shouldn’t like and dislike the ones you should.

    • iSaidCandleja-
      iSaidCandleja-
      May 6, 2011 at 2:04 am | #

      Wait, the expression in the last “video”? I must see this video as soon as possible… for research.

      • Dox
        Dox
        May 6, 2011 at 3:27 am | #

        Adorable.

  6. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 6, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    Well, Joe is now going to have a stigma that will follow him for the rest of his life. He will be denied jobs. Laughed at. Made into a pariah.

    But while he’s in college, he’ll get to strut and pretend to be the big man on campus.

    • Dean
      Dean
      May 6, 2011 at 12:56 am | #

      Ridureyu, I think you’re suffering from a small misapprehension. You see, Joe isn’t the girl in the video.

      • taekwondogirl
        taekwondogirl
        May 6, 2011 at 1:20 am | #

        This is painfully true.

      • The Pedantic Frogboy
        The Pedantic Frogboy
        May 6, 2011 at 1:37 am | #

        Are you sure?

        • iSaidCandleja-
          iSaidCandleja-
          May 6, 2011 at 2:03 am | #

          We already know Roz has some interesting interest.

        • Meridian
          Meridian
          August 19, 2011 at 3:52 am | #

          bet he feels like it.

    • Shift
      Shift
      May 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm | #

      Not necessarily. He could try and exploit this whole thing, to where he ends up with a reality show on Fox or VH1, and then spends his life as a joke, but a joke who’s racking in the money for some reason.

  7. wnderjif
    wnderjif
    May 6, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    ? now its a congresswoman?

    so is it Roz’s sister the fo’shizzler herself or not?

    and i wonder if dorothy recognizes Joe by his Joe, or Joe by way of seeing Danny asleep.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 6, 2011 at 12:25 am | #

      It’s definitely Faz, then.

      Congresswoman Fazette DeSanto.

      • Henry
        Henry
        May 6, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

        Brain bleach.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 6, 2011 at 12:54 am | #

        Faz X Fazette ship? I shouldn’t imagine it, but the image simply cannot be banished.

        • The E-man
          The E-man
          May 6, 2011 at 3:15 pm | #

          AAAHHHH THE BRAIN BLEACH ISN’T WORKING!!!!! CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND!!!!

          • Henry
            Henry
            May 7, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

            You’re not using enough. Rub the bleach on your head and body. And your Joe.

        • milk experiment
          milk experiment
          May 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm | #

          Yep, Faz would totally do himself if given the opportunity. Faz loves Faz.

          I dub this the good ship Fazazzle, long may she sail. [smashes bottle of champagne against hull]

          • Lt. Taz
            Lt. Taz
            May 6, 2011 at 5:07 pm | #

            Fazazzle. So much win, and yet so much fail. Part of me wants brain bleach and the other part…. also wants brain bleach.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      May 6, 2011 at 1:29 am | #

      I think Dorothy recognizes Joe’s Joe.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 6, 2011 at 6:22 am | #

        How? Has he got a birthmark on it or something?

    • QueenThomas
      QueenThomas
      May 6, 2011 at 9:40 am | #

      It would have to be Joe’s Joe because they filmed by taping the camera to Danny’s foot.

    • Brady Kj
      Brady Kj
      May 6, 2011 at 6:03 pm | #

      I honestly suspect Willis gave Roz and Robin a big sister who’s a congressperson. I base this suspicion on the logical fact that I want to see a teen-aged Robin.

  8. Clementine
    Clementine
    May 6, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    I know that Joe said there was a video… but I still feel like, somehow, Danny might be the one implicated in this.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 6, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

      The camera was taped to his foot. It would be hard for him to really be in the shot.

      • ryan
        ryan
        May 6, 2011 at 8:25 am | #

        “whoa. i know who’s sock that is.”
        -dorothy

        • Tim's Name Is Boring
          Tim's Name Is Boring
          May 6, 2011 at 11:46 am | #

          That awful, crusty, lonely sock.

        • Pat
          Pat
          May 6, 2011 at 11:51 am | #

          “…And I’m sure they only ever made one like it!”

      • Clementine
        Clementine
        May 9, 2011 at 1:44 am | #

        True. Ah, well. That’ll show me to try and guess things.

  9. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    May 6, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    THAT GUY IS TOTALLY MARIO LOPEZ

    OH NOES

    • Shift
      Shift
      May 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm | #

      Poor Mario…

  10. Brendan
    Brendan
    May 6, 2011 at 12:16 am | #

    Why the hell is Dorothy looking up sex tapes in the library? With Daisy?

    Wait…

    • Chrisby
      Chrisby
      May 6, 2011 at 12:22 am | #

      The guy with the Joe Gravatar approves this.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 6, 2011 at 12:24 am | #

      They’re college students. You really shouldn’t need to ask.

    • Zem
      Zem
      May 6, 2011 at 12:38 am | #

      This comment makes Daisy’s immersed expression even better.

      I think she just rated Joe a 4.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        May 7, 2011 at 2:22 pm | #

        Daisy is into chicks, if I remember correctly. I think she’s giving Roz at least an 8.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 6, 2011 at 12:55 am | #

      Because they’re politically aware. Duh.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 6, 2011 at 6:38 pm | #

      They must have read about the scandal and as it involves someone from their Uni, they would naturally be curious.

  11. Robert
    Robert
    May 6, 2011 at 12:18 am | #

    Sigh…..joe is such a friggin meathead….

    • Henry
      Henry
      May 7, 2011 at 12:32 am | #

      Joe is such a friggin’ Joehead.

      • CWR
        CWR
        May 8, 2011 at 6:38 am | #

        Joe is such a Joeing Joehead. Wow, a verbnoun.

  12. Drillecat
    Drillecat
    May 6, 2011 at 12:20 am | #

    When you’ve less futuresight than I, I’m sure you’re in a lot of trouble, says I. o.o;;

  13. Chrisby
    Chrisby
    May 6, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

    In the Media Circus, everyone’s a clown.

  14. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf
    May 6, 2011 at 12:27 am | #

    I feel like I’m missing something obvious here. Aside from the fact that it might result in a minor political scandal for Roz’s sibling, how is this situation bad for Joe?

    • James
      James
      May 6, 2011 at 12:33 am | #

      Being the focus of a media frenzy is rarely pleasant, I imagine.

      • James
        James
        May 6, 2011 at 12:34 am | #

        And apparently I’m Danny now. This is oddly appropriate.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 6, 2011 at 6:36 pm | #

      I also see Joe as the sort of guy who would want to try and cash in on this scandal for money and to further increase the chances to ‘Joe’ girls.

  15. dchorror
    dchorror
    May 6, 2011 at 12:35 am | #

    I imagine Dorothy needs some brain bleach.

  16. ilvos01
    ilvos01
    May 6, 2011 at 12:35 am | #

    Dude, would Robin and Leslie be…
    …MARRIED? Mindfuck.

    • ilvos01
      ilvos01
      May 6, 2011 at 12:36 am | #

      …aand I just remembered what my gravatar is. Well then.

    • The E-man
      The E-man
      May 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm | #

      No I’m more imagining the Congresswoman coming to IU to talk with her sister about appropriate behavior when, on her way in, she sees Leslie (clad in a red, one shoulder, dress) and the crowds part…they walk towards each other…the meet-cute is awkward yet polite. Robin is dragged away by the security guards and Leslie and Robin pine for each other as they are separated…

      SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 6, 2011 at 6:33 pm | #

      If they were married, then Leslie chose to keep her last name for professional reasons.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        May 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm | #

        What makes you think it’s Leslie who would necessarily take Robin’s name? Sure, they said “Congresswoman DeSanto”, but gay marriage is a hot issue, so maybe it’s Robin who kept HER name for professional purposes.

    • Shift
      Shift
      May 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm | #

      I dunno… Without Ethan being in Robin’s life as a target for banging, what are the chances that Robin would have ever perused Leslie, and eventually realized she was bisexual/Lesbian? I mean, if it wasn’t for Ethan, she never would have approached Leslie.

  17. zuche
    zuche
    May 6, 2011 at 12:59 am | #

    Billie is missing an opportunity here.

    • Horerczy
      Horerczy
      May 6, 2011 at 1:15 am | #

      Your mom is missing an opportunity. For a nickle.

      • Henry
        Henry
        May 7, 2011 at 1:08 am | #

        With my penis.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 6, 2011 at 1:40 am | #

      An opportunity for what?

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        May 6, 2011 at 1:49 am | #

        News story, I assume. She’s an aspiring journalist after all, and she’s totally not in on the Joe scandal…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 6, 2011 at 2:16 am | #

          She’s too busy getting plastered most likely to even notice.

      • |Agent
        |Agent
        May 6, 2011 at 1:51 am | #

        FAAACE

  18. goatman95111
    goatman95111
    May 6, 2011 at 1:12 am | #

    Can someone explain to me why Dorothy would be viewing a video like that?

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      May 6, 2011 at 1:33 am | #

      Daisy put her on the story??

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      May 6, 2011 at 2:25 am | #

      College student. Slow news day.

    • ryan
      ryan
      May 6, 2011 at 8:28 am | #

      she broke up with danny. she needs an outlet!

  19. Noel Schornhorst
    Noel Schornhorst
    May 6, 2011 at 1:15 am | #

    Maybe this will be Billie’s story… I can see the headlines now– “Nerds have nerd-sex. Other nerds watch. NERDS.”

    • The Pedantic Frogboy
      The Pedantic Frogboy
      May 6, 2011 at 1:18 am | #

      What are you talking about? Nerds don’t have sex. Everybody knows that.

      At least, Billie does.

      • Noel Schornhorst
        Noel Schornhorst
        May 6, 2011 at 8:48 pm | #

        That’s why it’s such a big story.

        We interrupt this webcomic to bring you this breaking report– Nerds copulate! We take you now to the scene where the only remaining evidence was a crusty sock and some duct tape…

      • Shift
        Shift
        May 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm | #

        Sure they do. Haven’t you ever seen a Star Trek Wedding on the internet?

  20. Cranberrier
    Cranberrier
    May 6, 2011 at 1:26 am | #

    Willis comics: come for the spontaneous makeouts, stay for the community.

    • Rikushadow5
      Rikushadow5
      May 6, 2011 at 2:30 am | #

      Damn straight.

      • WertTheLord
        WertTheLord
        May 7, 2011 at 1:36 am | #

        MANLY COMBINING!!! i’m sorry, I just started watching Gurren Lagann a few days ago and am at episode 20…it’s so good and I’m hyper addicted at this point haha, carry on with the communitizing
        : )

  21. brasca1
    brasca1
    May 6, 2011 at 1:38 am | #

    Eagerly awaiting Congresswoman Desanto to see how different her doppleganger is in this universe.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      May 6, 2011 at 8:45 am | #

      I keep saying… ex pro wrestler! A female Jessi Ventura!

  22. Zap
    Zap
    May 6, 2011 at 2:10 am | #

    I’m still not sure why Joe is in trouble for this.

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      May 6, 2011 at 2:28 am | #

      You’ve never been hounded by people with cameras.

      It’s not trouble as in “I’m going to jail.” It’s trouble as in “I’m going to be constantly pestered by a group of some of the most annoying and irresponsible people on earth,” (ie. tabloid “journalists.”)

      • Pat
        Pat
        May 6, 2011 at 11:56 am | #

        Why would tabloid journalists need to talk to him to write a story about what he’s saying?

        • taekwondogirl
          taekwondogirl
          May 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm | #

          They just want pictures. And who could blame them? It is Joe, after all.

          • Henry
            Henry
            May 7, 2011 at 12:44 am | #

            They just want to see his faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

            • taekwondogirl
              taekwondogirl
              May 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm | #

              Hahahaha

  23. shoeboxjeddy
    shoeboxjeddy
    May 6, 2011 at 2:29 am | #

    All David Willis comics will now revolve around differing sextapes. The subscription Walky strips will roar back to life with the amazing sex tape wedding storyline. 😀

    • Janette
      Janette
      May 6, 2011 at 10:04 am | #

      Wait, what?

    • Cranberrier
      Cranberrier
      May 6, 2011 at 11:06 am | #

      Couple of Steel: In Need Of Kleenex

      • TsunamiJane
        TsunamiJane
        May 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm | #

        Do you read Spider Robinson’s Callahan Chronicles? Because those stories are the ONLY reason I laughed at your comment and knew what you were referencing. 🙂

  24. Kurai_Seraphim
    Kurai_Seraphim
    May 6, 2011 at 2:57 am | #

    Best part: Danny’s foot gets an IMDB cameraman credit in the field of political pornography!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 6, 2011 at 6:29 pm | #

      When I first saw the words Danny’s foot, I thought you were refering to a different part of his anatomy. 😀

  25. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    May 6, 2011 at 3:12 am | #

    I think we’re all missing the obvious question here:

    Why does dorothy know what Joe looks like naked?

    Assuming we can’t see his FAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    • zuche
      zuche
      May 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm | #

      I’ve no doubt Roz had Joe switch positions no less than four times that night, at least one of them putting her on top. It’s not a proper tape without that sort of variety.

    • Shift
      Shift
      May 7, 2011 at 1:59 pm | #

      Joe has a history of being a man whore. So, she, along with a majority of her high school, probably walked him on him and some girl going at it in an vacant class room. 😛

  26. Someone
    Someone
    May 6, 2011 at 3:41 am | #

    It’s been called, but I’ll reinforce–Danny is the one visible on the tape as a face, even though it will be obvious he did nothing, he gets the trouble. WE KNOW YOUR GAMES, WILLIS

  27. TexasNinjaBuzzard
    TexasNinjaBuzzard
    May 6, 2011 at 3:52 am | #

    “Wait, the retardo is ME?” T-shirts, $18.99 each at http://shortpacked.bigcartel.com/ .

  28. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 6, 2011 at 6:26 am | #

    Duct tape is the best sex tape of them all.

    • creativerealms
      creativerealms
      May 6, 2011 at 7:33 am | #

      That’s the perfect Gravatar to say something like that with.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 6, 2011 at 6:26 pm | #

        And the thumbs-up gesture in your Gravatar is perfect for the response.

  29. Kelsey
    Kelsey
    May 6, 2011 at 7:43 am | #

    Of course you do, Dorothy. The question is….Pfffft! Hahahahaha! Oh, I can’t! I apologize for nothing!

  30. Menamebephil
    Menamebephil
    May 6, 2011 at 8:07 am | #

    I just noticed that Danny’s hoodie seems to mark him out as a devotee of merciful Poseidon.

    • Joebo
      Joebo
      May 7, 2011 at 12:41 pm | #

      No, It is a Monogram of Indiana University’s initials. I U

      • Menamebephil
        Menamebephil
        May 8, 2011 at 6:08 pm | #

        Wait, merciful Poseidon has an entire University under his sway?

  31. ryan
    ryan
    May 6, 2011 at 8:31 am | #

    wait, so is it or is it NOT one of those videos that’s just a continuous taint shot? because for some reason i imagined it would be.

  32. prime_pm
    prime_pm
    May 6, 2011 at 8:45 am | #

    Perhaps Billie finally got her story

  33. VigilanteMark
    VigilanteMark
    May 6, 2011 at 9:21 am | #

    I can’t believe it took me three days to notice that Joe and Danny are wearing (basically) their classic Roomies! attire.

  34. katamanda
    katamanda
    May 6, 2011 at 10:57 am | #

    My only hope with Robin coming into the comic is that she’ll meet Leslie and we can get a version of the happy lesbian couple again >.>

  35. Shift
    Shift
    May 6, 2011 at 1:13 pm | #

    So how did Robin get elected into Congress in this universe? What was her political stance? Still Star War’s necrophilia toys? Transformer Toys? Batman?

    And it really is adorable how naive Joe is. I mean, in this day and age of information and technology there is no such thing as privacy. Although I have to ask WHY Roz filmed sex with herself and Joe. I mean, as professional camera whore, doesn’t she need to get a waiver signed by him so as to avoid legal liability of invasion of privacy like that? I know a couple of guys who do porn, and they need waivers and stuff signed before they can start filming.

    Unless of course, Roz isn’t charging for the videos like she does in the Shortpacked! Universe. If she does this for the fun of it, and doesn’t make money off it, she wouldn’t need a waiver signed. But she is still liable legally to be sued if Joe wanted. Which you know he won’t.

  36. Koloth
    Koloth
    May 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm | #

    Ummm, what’s up with Joe’s collar in panel 2? Was he originally supposed to be facing to the right and something got messed up when turning him, or did he buy his shirt at the Escher museum?

    • David
      David M Willis
      May 6, 2011 at 3:07 pm | #

      Are you interpreting his finger as his neck?

  37. Koloth
    Koloth
    May 6, 2011 at 4:02 pm | #

    O_o

    Ah. Indeed I was, thanks. TBH, although I can see now that it is his finger (especially given the context of what he’s saying in that panel), I still have to work at it to see it as anything but his neck, with an extraneous piece of green fabric in the middle.

    • BMeph
      BMeph
      May 7, 2011 at 1:34 am | #

      If the geometry’s still confusing you…

      …just look at his FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

  38. You
    You
    May 7, 2011 at 3:26 pm | #

    Quick, you’ve been recognized! Flee!

  39. Gnoka
    Gnoka
    May 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm | #

    Widest I think Joe’s eyes have ever been.

  40. Ruban
    Ruban
    May 7, 2011 at 6:00 pm | #

    Completely off topic, but there appears to be a tiny smiley face at the very bottom left hand corner of this page… Is that still there or is the sleep deprivation starting to get to me at last?

    • daughterofthestars
      daughterofthestars
      May 7, 2011 at 10:13 pm | #

      OMG you’re totally right.

      • Leesai
        Leesai
        May 8, 2011 at 12:15 am | #

        omg there IS a tiny smiley face! i wonder if it’s on all his comics?

  41. Cain
    Cain
    May 8, 2011 at 12:55 am | #

    This is not going to end well.

  42. Scotch Carb
    Scotch Carb
    May 8, 2011 at 6:23 am | #

    This is going to be buried in the comments now, but I’m calling it; Joe is the red herring and Danny is the person who has been ‘caught’ sleeping with Roz in an out-of-context shot of them together after she slept with Joe.

  43. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    July 9, 2011 at 12:14 am | #

    Murry’s Law strikes again.

  44. Hari
    Hari
    January 23, 2012 at 3:11 am | #

    This made me giggle.

  45. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 13, 2015 at 5:13 am | #

    You’d think half the campus cheerleaders would recognise him by now. Even if the video doesn’t show his face.

Who's that guy over there?

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