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Kidnapped
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June 12, 2021

Kidnapped

by David M Willis on December 30, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Pajama Jeans

└ Tags: amber, dina

Discussion (105) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. OhHayMike
    OhHayMike
    December 30, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    I like her version of the trip better than the actual trip.

    • MichaelHaneline
      MichaelHaneline
      December 30, 2011 at 12:13 am | #

      I agree.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 30, 2011 at 12:17 am | #

      Clearly all DOA stories should end with a “Dina version”.

      • NCP19
        NCP19
        December 30, 2011 at 1:22 am | #

        Dare I ask how the party and Ryan attack story would’ve been conveyed?

        • George
          George
          December 30, 2011 at 3:22 am | #

          “I almost tripped over a bleeding guy and there was a lot of yelling. Bleeding guy crawled off somewhere. Someone else got carried off. I may have gone to a riot instead of the party”.

          Only part I can’t pin down is how she got there. Thoughts?

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            December 30, 2011 at 3:25 am | #

            Stanley Cup final.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            December 30, 2011 at 5:31 am | #

            The average reaction after a football match, Oh sorry, soccer match.

            • TheBenenator
              TheBenenator
              December 30, 2011 at 11:19 am | #

              Sounds more like a hockey game to me.

              • Azumango
                Azumango
                December 30, 2011 at 12:47 pm | #

                The other day I went to a fight, and a hockey mach broke out!

                • OhHayMike
                  OhHayMike
                  December 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm | #

                  I think we have a winner.

                • Tucker
                  Tucker
                  December 30, 2011 at 1:50 pm | #

                  Oh, do I ever love Hockey XD

        • SteveCharb
          SteveCharb
          December 31, 2011 at 1:47 pm | #

          Dina recaps the party: “I went to a big house full of strange, intoxicated people. A religious guy quoted the bible, then put something in the drinks. Sex was attempted. Later, there was blood everywhere. No bodies were found.”

          • Hanii Puppy
            Hanii Puppy
            May 1, 2014 at 9:55 pm | #

            “I went to a house full of people clearly on some kind of mind-altering substance. A crazy cultist attempted to perform some kind of sexual ritual with another cultist. He failed, and the rest of the people attempted to convert him into a blood-sacrifice to appease their god for him failing the ritual. Then their obvious high-preistess tried to take control of the sacrifice, but he crawled away.”

    • Wizard
      Wizard
      December 30, 2011 at 12:41 am | #

      Sounds like a pretty accurate account to me. Aside from the sharks, anyway; one doesn’t really count as a lake-full.

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        December 30, 2011 at 1:07 am | #

        Walky also doesn’t count as a shark. He’s more like a vicious minnow.

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          December 30, 2011 at 3:24 am | #

          Or Nemo.

    • Palmetto
      Palmetto
      December 30, 2011 at 8:56 am | #

      Reminds me of the movie synopsis:

      “Girl travels to foreign land, commits manslaughter, teams with three bizarre strangers to kill again.”

      Wizard of Oz.

      • Zuche
        Zuche
        December 30, 2011 at 9:28 am | #

        There should be an image of them doing a power walk. It must be so!

  2. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 30, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Mystery SOLVED!

  3. Leorale
    Leorale
    December 30, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    But how did she escape?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 30, 2011 at 12:04 am | #

      Cos she’s a ninja.

      • Zuche
        Zuche
        December 30, 2011 at 9:31 am | #

        Better yet, she’s a lone ninja.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          December 31, 2011 at 1:23 am | #

          oh yeah, there is that!

          ::crouching tiger music::
          ::glint off archaeologist pick::
          ::closeup of Dina’s eyes::

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            January 1, 2012 at 11:52 am | #

            Or,

            -closeup of eyes-
            -chewing on miniature pick that looks like a cigar-
            -cue spaghetti western music–

            • Leorale
              Leorale
              January 6, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

              doowee ooee oooo!

  4. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    December 30, 2011 at 12:03 am | #

    Did Walky poke her with his shark boner?

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      December 30, 2011 at 12:06 am | #

      It’s a Questionable Content reference.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 30, 2011 at 12:12 am | #

      Unless it is a megalodon boner, she won’t be impressed.

      • David
        David M Willis
        December 30, 2011 at 12:30 am | #

        Megalodon Boner is my Dinosaur Jr cover band.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 30, 2011 at 12:32 am | #

          What instrument do you play?

          • molochmachine
            molochmachine
            December 30, 2011 at 12:47 am | #

            David operates the wah pedal. Mascis’ wah foot usually gets its own credit anyway.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              December 30, 2011 at 1:48 am | #

              I remember playing a mean triangle when I was a kid. 😛

              • iSaidCandleja-
                iSaidCandleja-
                December 30, 2011 at 1:54 am | #

                I tried to play the triangle, but I did a poorly as the main character in the claymation Carol Of The Bells.

              • f.p.
                f.p.
                December 30, 2011 at 4:53 am | #

                I was a prodigy on the kazoo. Maybe I should pick it back up.

              • Zuche
                Zuche
                December 30, 2011 at 9:45 am | #

                One of the few instruments that still functions at twenty below zero. Brass and reed people often looked down on the percussionists, but there’s a point at which only the glockenspiel can carry the parade, a time you realize that the bass drum isn’t just an oversized metronome.

                • Kernanator
                  Kernanator
                  December 31, 2011 at 6:44 pm | #

                  We don’t look down on you. We just think you’re TOO FUCKING LOUD.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  December 31, 2011 at 10:31 pm | #

                  But when it comes to the prince of simple instruments, you cannot go pass the wobble board.

            • Tucker
              Tucker
              December 30, 2011 at 3:18 am | #

              Now I’m just imagining one guitar player as being Voltron in complete form.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                December 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm | #

                Better yet, replace Voltron with Devastator.

                • Tucker
                  Tucker
                  December 31, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

                  Or Megazord.

          • Spammy McSpamster
            Spammy McSpamster
            December 30, 2011 at 12:26 pm | #

            The tromboner.

            obviously.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              January 1, 2012 at 4:25 pm | #

              Don’t forget the xylobone.

      • alex
        alex
        December 30, 2011 at 12:31 am | #

        *raises finger to comment*
        …
        *lowers finger, deciding against it*

  5. Inara
    Inara
    December 30, 2011 at 12:08 am | #

    and judging from Amber’s expression, it looks like she’s pretty sure those pieces are ‘drugs’ and ‘on’…

    • George
      George
      December 30, 2011 at 3:31 am | #

      I’m thinking “roomie” and “crazy”, myself.

    • Hannover Fist
      Hannover Fist
      December 30, 2011 at 8:51 am | #

      I’ll bet Dina has a bong made from a fossilized therapod egg.

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        December 30, 2011 at 1:22 pm | #

        Maybe Dina in her thirties. It will be for my grandchildren to see how that storyline plays out.

      • ryan
        ryan
        January 3, 2012 at 11:01 am | #

        i would have guessed a velociraptor’s larynx.

  6. IDreamOfPunk
    IDreamOfPunk
    December 30, 2011 at 12:09 am | #

    Quick and to the point. With sharks.

  7. Dierna
    Dierna
    December 30, 2011 at 12:22 am | #

    Fun fact: The book and movie Jaws was based on a real event when a River Shark attacked a bunch of kids in New Jersey. River Sharks are considered to be more dangerous than a Great White cuz they’re more Fresh water sharks than anything else but they can also be in salt water.

    • Zuche
      Zuche
      December 30, 2011 at 9:47 am | #

      Fun fact: Peter Benchley spent many of his remaining years working to atone for how his work had helped demonize an endangered species.

  8. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    December 30, 2011 at 12:29 am | #

    I wonder how she describes her classes.

    • Vabolo
      Vabolo
      December 30, 2011 at 12:35 am | #

      A strange, frustrated man placed us in rows and interrogated us on various aspects of philosophy, and we were all bound to complete silence, lest a sanction involving the reduction of a final numeral summary would occur.

      • Tucker
        Tucker
        December 30, 2011 at 3:25 am | #

        Yes.

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        December 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm | #

        Too florid. Dina doesn’t strike me as the type that would use words like “lest,” “sanctioned,” or “interrogated” when simpler words would do.

        • Steve
          Steve
          January 1, 2012 at 5:29 am | #

          “Fifty people kidnapped me and made me listen to an old man”

          • Valdrax
            Valdrax
            January 3, 2012 at 1:16 am | #

            s/”kidnapped me”/”shut me in a room”/ and it’s perfect.

  9. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    December 30, 2011 at 12:36 am | #

    You’d think that kidnapping the roommate of a superhero wouldn’t be so easy. =O

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 30, 2011 at 12:40 am | #

      Nah. Sidekicks get kidnapped all the time.

      • Tucker
        Tucker
        December 30, 2011 at 3:22 am | #

        Seriously, it’s like #1 plot device for special Superhero drama.

        • alex
          alex
          December 30, 2011 at 6:24 pm | #

          unless it’s spider-man in wich case its “dead girlfriend”

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            December 31, 2011 at 1:01 am | #

            And the Dark Knight, come to think of it.

            Furthermore: RAAAAACHEL!

  10. Nocturne
    Nocturne
    December 30, 2011 at 12:45 am | #

    I think Dina is my favorite ever.

  11. Rognik
    Rognik
    December 30, 2011 at 1:09 am | #

    Technically, she wasn’t kidnapped. She was shanghaied. Or perhaps “swept away by a tide of people”. Doesn’t explain how she stayed with them on the bus, though…

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      December 30, 2011 at 3:22 am | #

      Clearly it was the venga bus.

  12. Janette
    Janette
    December 30, 2011 at 1:37 am | #

    Awesome way to end the week.

  13. lawzlo
    lawzlo
    December 30, 2011 at 1:38 am | #

    I believe that she missed the part where she won “catch.”

    • lawzlo
      lawzlo
      December 30, 2011 at 1:39 am | #

      Oh my God, a new avatar! I am no longer creepy Joe.

      How will I ever survive?

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        December 30, 2011 at 1:26 pm | #

        With your femurs, of course, because you need them to live.

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        December 30, 2011 at 2:59 pm | #

        I’m on grumpy person #3. Grumpy Sal, Grumpy Amazi-Girl, and now Somewhat Put-out Sara.

  14. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    December 30, 2011 at 2:12 am | #

    And that is the best explanation I could have imagined. However, based on Dina’s particular world view it makes perfect sense…?

  15. f.p.
    f.p.
    December 30, 2011 at 2:15 am | #

    Somehow that’s pretty close to the account I was expecting from Dina.

  16. Slipdance
    Slipdance
    December 30, 2011 at 2:41 am | #

    Words cannot contain the shame I feel for just now, at half past one in the morning, piecing together that ‘hey, the two girls Walkyverse Mike’s had a history with are roomies’.

    Slow does not even begin to describe… 🙁

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      December 30, 2011 at 3:20 am | #

      With that Gravatar and everything.

      DOA’s only been running for 16 months and change… Don’t feel too bad!

    • George
      George
      December 30, 2011 at 3:24 am | #

      You are not alone there.

  17. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 30, 2011 at 3:06 am | #

    Willis, if/when you release a DOA book, you should end every “day” with a Dina summary. It would be the greatest thing EVER.

    • George
      George
      December 30, 2011 at 3:25 am | #

      YES.

    • Ed
      Ed
      December 30, 2011 at 4:16 am | #

      I concur.

    • David
      David M Willis
      December 30, 2011 at 9:49 am | #

      Hmmmm.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      December 30, 2011 at 10:48 am | #

      Okay. I know a lot of things in the history of the universe have been called the greatest thing EVER. Some of them have even been called so by ME. They can’t all be the greatest thing.

      But Kernanator? This idea might just BE the greatest thing ever. I was planning to buy a DoA book anyway, but if it included Dina daily summaries, I would buy it EVEN HARDER.

      CAPITALIZATION. EMPHASIS.

    • thatgirlwiththeglasses
      thatgirlwiththeglasses
      December 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm | #

      YES.
      I APPROVE.

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      December 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm | #

      EXTRA CAPITALIZATION!

      I agree with absolute fervour.

      • Michelle J Caboose
        Michelle J Caboose
        January 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm | #

        I read that as “absolute femur.” Then I reread it that way.

        I need new glasses…

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          January 1, 2012 at 5:49 pm | #

          Or perhaps femurs. You need those to live, you know.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 31, 2011 at 5:27 pm | #

      DO IT.

      DO IT NOW.

  18. Aizat
    Aizat
    December 30, 2011 at 3:55 am | #

    Cool story, Dina.

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      December 30, 2011 at 4:04 am | #

      u mad, Dina?

      • AJBulldis
        AJBulldis
        December 30, 2011 at 9:31 am | #

        DINA WITH IT B-|

  19. Edd
    Edd
    December 30, 2011 at 4:18 am | #

    Dina escaped by whipping out her shark gun and loading it with the ones nearby, shooting everyone, and then batman-ing back to her room.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 30, 2011 at 5:26 am | #

      Don’t you mean the Shark-repellant Batspray?

  20. Aizat
    Aizat
    December 30, 2011 at 5:28 am | #

    So, Walky’s new nickname is Shark?

    • Khan
      Khan
      January 1, 2012 at 5:36 am | #

      Yes. In a room for all eternity in the center of a dead planet

      Buried aliiive… Buried alive…

      • Tucker
        Tucker
        January 1, 2012 at 11:48 am | #

        The Impossible Planet?

      • Michelle J Caboose
        Michelle J Caboose
        January 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm | #

        KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!

  21. Aizat
    Aizat
    December 30, 2011 at 8:05 am | #

    I know it’s a bit early but Happy New Year, guys and gals and everything in between.

    • thomas0comer
      thomas0comer
      December 30, 2011 at 9:50 am | #

      Would “everything in between” include the word “and”?

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        December 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm | #

        It could mean the ‘b’, the three ‘e’s, the ‘n’, the ‘t’, and the ‘w’.

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          December 30, 2011 at 3:14 pm | #

          A couple of G’s G’s unless you’ve had to live it an R and an E Even I am careful with it
          An I and an N, in the end it will only offend, don’t want to have to spell it out again

          Yeah

          Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger
          Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger

  22. Sporkaganza
    Sporkaganza
    December 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm | #

    From now on I want Dina to relate every single event of my life.

  23. Tucker
    Tucker
    December 31, 2011 at 9:56 pm | #

    Happy New Year, Walky style!

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      December 31, 2011 at 11:05 pm | #

      …Well played, Tucker, well played.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      January 1, 2012 at 11:52 pm | #

      I think I had a heart attack just looking at that photo… D=

  24. Zem
    Zem
    January 2, 2012 at 6:29 am | #

    Dina: Can I help it if my life rocks?

  25. John Madden
    John Madden
    March 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm | #

    Is Dina being serious about the sharks?

  26. B.D
    B.D
    March 20, 2015 at 2:09 pm | #

    …! Does Dina not recognize faces?

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