Yeaaaah, the later seasons all either just suck in the boring way or in the “Are you TRYING to get that cancelled?” way. Example: The one where the Flying Dutchman moves in.
It’s like spongebob was like ” hey, kids’ll love us no matter what kind of shit we put out, so let’s stop being creative, original, or memorable, and delegte ourselves to jingling keys in front of your dumb kids’ faces”
And then Nick has to play it for at least six hours a day, every day, on both its main channels (Nickelodeon and NickToons, which theoretically could be used to show, y’know, classic ones like Chalk Zone or Rugrats or Rocco, but has to be convinced to play INVADER ZIM over the endless marathons of that porous yellow menace).
They said that Nick has to be convinced to play Invader Zim (which is clearly superior) instead of playing Spongebob, so the very idea of trying to get them to play old classics that are less well-known/loved in this day and age is entirely impossible.
ooh, ooh, there’s a Nick At Nite channel and they show Doug!!
I saw it at my mom’s one night, I was super excited.
After Doug, All That was on, then Kenan and Kel 8D
The 90s Are All That should be its own channel, like Boomerang. Sure it doesn’t have the 50 year Hanna-Barbera back catalog to pull from, but they had enough new original programming to run 18 hours a day before going into Andy Griffith Show and Gilligan’s Island reruns, surely they can do it now.
Can’t get enough Rocko, Angry Beavers, Doug, and Hey Arnold! The only show I can’t sit through anymore is Rocket Power, thanks to its totally dudeical script padding.
Exactly. Thanks for clearing that up. The problem’s not with Zim, it’s that Nick management seems to have some aversion to showing it.
Then again, when you kill a show because it’s too popular among teenagers instead of the target audience, there may be a problem with your network’s management.
Yeah, because nothing makes better sense than killing
a show that has more fans than just those in the
intended group. I mean shoot if the show has fans,
and enough episodes to cycle through, people will still
watch it, but I guess cartoon writers need jobs too.
Nicktoons doesn’t really air a lot of Spongebob. Mostly it airs it’s action cartoons and Power Rangers. It also they used to air a ton of ZIM. Almost non stop over at Nicktoons. Though honestly I’m happier when they air Ninja Storm and Voltron Force. Because Voltron Force is seriously amazing.
Hey! Common Fracking courtesy, fellow forum poster, when delving into a conversation about DogDarn childrens’ cartoons, PLEASE! Watch your schtupping language. Spank you very much.
I remember hearing somewhere that the creators of Spongebob wanted to stop making new ones after the Spongebob movie, but Nick wouldn’t let them go because it was making them so much money, hence the new, sucky ones.
I have a general rule of thumb: If a series is coming out with a movie, and didn’t begin from a movie, that series is essentially over and the people involved know it, so they’re milking it for whatever they can before it tanks.
Note I said general, meaning that there are a few exceptions.
Yes, but you would never know it, because I don’t think any episode of Spongebob ever passes the Bechdel test. For individual episodes, it usually fails at the ‘two named female characters’ level. So Sandy doesn’t get much of a chance to pursue other female characters.
(Sandy isn’t actually gay, for those who struggle with internet sarcasm. Probably not, anyway.)
That would be me. I totally believed you there. -_- And now that I think about it, are there even two named FEMALE characters in that show IN TOTAL? (other than in the background)
Or those twins from Utawarerumono. Now those two are traps! You’d never know what they are either way if no one told you. You even see a picture of them sleeping with one of the male main characters at one point to make it so you can’t even suspect it. (Since it is a eroge game with lots of girl on guy sex.)
You also forget that until they had the operation, often the only real difference between a transsexual and transvestite is why they are crossdressing.
“You also forget that until they had the operation, often the only real difference between a transsexual and transvestite is why they are crossdressing.”
Gender identity is a pretty vast difference, much more of one than surgical status. (And not every transperson can, or even wants to, get sex reassignment surgery. How people feel about their gender is the important thing, not how well their bodies match some idea about how the bodies of people of some gender “should look.”)
There isn’t an actual way to even tell…aside from the person being attracted to the same sex. Some people are even asexual so lack of interest in the opposite sex wouldn’t mean anything either.
No see, cause if you’re Asexual it really just means you’re gay. You have to be intensely interested in the opposite sex to not be gay. Otherwise you’re gay.
Well, there’s something to be said for using “gay” as a blanket term, since “queer” has bad connotations for some people, but in this context, “gay” clearly means “homosexual” and not “GLBTQ+”.
For the record, pretty sure Rusty’s being sarcastic about how hyper-heterosexual society is.
There’s a lot of pressure to constantly express interest in the opposite sex, which hurts GLBTQ, ace, demi, and heck, even het people with relatively smaller libido.
Add to that a limited public knowledge in human sexuality (not aggressively straight? You must be gay, then!), and it’s offensive to everyone involved.
I think it’s basic deduction. There are horndogs like Joe and the would-be-rapist who only want to be with Joyce to take advantage of her naivete. Then there are guys like Walky who are irritating, but otherwise harmless and aren’t motivated to hang out with her so they can hop in the sack. If Ethan isn’t trying to take advantage of a sleeping girl nor has he gotten on her nerves he must be gay or at least in a world where people’s characteristics are far more pronounced.
So what you’re saying is that all straight men WOULD try to take advantage of a sleeping girl? Because I’ve been around plenty of sleeping girls, and I’ve somehow managed to restrain myself.
Yeah, wasn’t accusing people of homosexuality based on their mannerisms (unless that mannerism is, like, kissing a dude while also being a dude) both rude and kind of bigoted last time I checked?
yes, but since everyone knows that fox news is full of right wing racist conservative nut jobs and msnbc speaks as the voice of the downtrodden that msnbc must be right in this case
All I know is if my sexuality was based on my mannerisms I’d be considered straight, most people can’t tell, unless I mention my other half by name or something. Except my father oddly enough.
It’s entirely possible that she’s just been making observations about his respective interactions with males and females, and noting his apparent lack of sexual attraction to (and intense awkwardness around) Joyce, as opposed to his at least token attraction to Mike (which is almost certain to be present, considering Mike’s attractiveness {in- and out-of-story} and the fact that [REDACTED DUE TO INTER-UNIVERSE THEORIZING].)
Taking only the present moment, it’s obvious that Ethan has no interest in Joyce whatsoever, whereas when confronted with an attractive member of their preferred sex sleeping on their shoulder most people would smile, blush, or otherwise display interest in them. The fact that he is instead making deadpan jokes says one of any number of things – not least that he might actually be asexual, but no one has ever accused Sarah of being politically correct.
tl;dr My argument is Byzantine, but it doesn’t take a Sherlock to figure Ethan out.
Well, my reaction to the newer episodes of Spongebob is usually the sudden urge to change the channel, even if it means beating up my younger brother to do so.
I sometimes feel like the only person on earth that found Spongebob’s first season kind of dull. Really, most of the early seasons, but that’s probably just my sense of humor. Liked the movie well enough though.
I liked Hillenburg’s work on Rocko’s Modern Life more.
To be fair, Rocko had a far stronger ensemble of characters to work with and a lot more risque humor. SpongeBob is kind of hindered by the two leads being dumb as posts and innocent as saints.
The first season does have its missteps like “The Paper” and “The Reefblower” but ultimately is good. The newer seasons on the other hand, made you wish that someone would just put the show out of its misery.
I’m fairly certain that by “Ghost Host” (that one I was thinking of above) the writer was deliberately trying to kill it. There’s nightmare fuel, and then there’s an extended sequence of a humanoid ghost’s face splitting open to reveal all manner of horrific things and spiders and… *Shudders* I was never a huge fan either, but it went from “Oh, that thing that’s on all the time, nothing better’s on and it might be one of the handful of episodes I actually like” to “Well, this sucks” to “THE SPONGE MUST DIE”.
No first season is good for me…a show does not peak till it has reached it’s 3rd season, which spongebob did for a couple seasons and eventually will fall and become awful again…
Everyone needs to watch Code Lyoko (well, try to enjoy season 1–it gets a lot better in season 2 on) and forget about the crappiness that is Spongebob.
someone needs to write a god damn manual about sexual attraction, took me 25 years to realise I never really thought of anyone as attractive and wondered why people complained about not having sex and why I had little interest in it. Maybe you can write the manual on sponges for those who are interested to clean up the mess made. To be really mean I’d call it the Spongebob Squarepants guide to sex. Put Squidward and Patrick on the cover.
Okay, what’s Sarah’s problem, exactly? So what if Ethan is gay? Has he given even the slightest hint that he’s (pretending to be) interested in Joyce? Hell, what’s the problem here period? Can gay guys not be friends with girls?
Hell, I’m not even sure what Ethan’s ulterior motive is here. On some level he’s trying to get himself back in the closet, I get that. But I don’t see how hanging out with Joyce helps.
well if i read the prev comics right, i think hes hoping that if enough people see him “romancing” a girl, aka joyce, then eventually the voices assuming hes straight will drown out the two people that actually know hes gay
kinda yea, at least what joyce might mistake for romantic interest. and his motive is to get back in the closet so he can have an (admittingly unfulfilling) relationship.
Well, the problem is that Joyce isn’t exactly looking at Ethan as friend material, and Ethan knows it. Sarah just knows that if this continues it will end badly. Because, I mean, common sense.
Sarah’s been in protective big sis mode when it comes to Joyce since the near date rape incident and she seems to have a pretty awesome bullshit detector and what Ethan is trying to do is drag himself back into the closet and drag Joyce with him. I like Ethan but that is fucking vile and if I were Sarah and I got the vibe that someone was leading my friend on I wouldn’t be his biggest fan either and leading Joyce on is exactly what Ethan is doing. Sarah can tell he’s up to something but I think she’s trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he might not be doing what he’s doing intentionally. He could still be in the “figuring himself out” stage of his sexuality. He’s not though. He knows he’s gay he just hasn’t accepted it yet.
i dunno if id call it vile, misguided with the potential to BECOME vile, maybe, but definitely not there yet. he hasn’t expressed any romantic interest in joyce, the only reason WE know anything is we are witness to the narrative perspective
ps as i understand it he totally accepts that hes gay, he just doesn’t want to put up with other people coming to accept that hes gay
Could it just be the fact Ethan is trying to create a new group of friends because he’s feeling a little lost and left out of the new group dynamics is why he is doing this as opposed him having some dark alterative motive?
I don’t know if I can buy that. Given the past comics, I would be so bold as to believe that Ethan has absolutely no agenda here whatsoever. Not to say his long-term plan isn’t to skee-daddle back into the closet (as that is abundantly obvious), but as far as this situation goes (and considering his past actions and musings), this seems to be as innocent as it appears, two people just watching cartoons. I can’t believe Ethan is thinking that much deeper into it than that
I don’t think she has a problem with Ethan being friends with Joyce, but that she knows that Joyce is going to start falling for Ethan and picking him to be the one she’s going to marry. She can see it ending really badly for both of them.
Personally, I think Sarah is just confused that the two are getting along fine, since Joyce seems at least slightly homophobic. Well, confused and accurately suspicious that Ethan hasn’t told her. I think that Sarah thinks that Joyce needs to be confronted about it.
I’m surprised guys outnumber ladies in DoA’s readership according to the new poll. I would have expected a more even split. Still, I guess 25% female readers still beats out the mainstream comics industry…
There’s usually a poll floating around the right edge of the main page. By the time you’re looking at comments you’ve gone too far.
And I just assumed that since the internet is for porn, it therefore has a pretty high concentration of guys in general. Plus maybe the fact that the main way to hear about this comic was to come here from a transformers-related-ish comic may also have been a factor.
Yeah, I pretty much thought the same. The poll was about what I expected. It was Questionable Content that brought me here, and I am, in fact, female, but probably a huge portion of the readership is people who read Shortpacked! first. (Although I totally read all of Willis’s previous comics after stumbling on this one. Well played, sir.)
I posted a short Youtube video a while ago which David reposted as Fan-art on the homepage. Youtube demographics says that 100% of the views on the video are from males (but a sample of only 35 views with specified gender).
I think I got here from Something Positive, although I’ve read It’s Walky! as well in the past.
I thought the rule was ‘change gears quickly (but not too quickly) then get both hands back on the wheel’, not ‘keep your hand on the stick’. Then again, I gave up on learning to drive because cars scare me.
Because water won’t do any good. I almost wanted
to try that to see if it worked, but I couldn’t find any
Lye, and shoot I’m not stupid…
Most of the time.
I’m gonna let Sarah’s “instant gaydar” slide because of the way it was played. Ethan could have been asexual or her platonic friend or whatever, but when she met him, he gave this little half-panicked smile that pretty much just says “I’m living a lie and hoping no one notices.”
Oddly, this closet phase feels really right for Ethan, even though the original version of the character never went through such a thing. Mostly because Ethan is a good guy who’s got a history of moral cowardice, of “taking the easy way out” despite the long-term consequences.
Meanwhile, the ball’s in Amber’s court. I hope she’s got a more concrete strategy for dealing with the press, because it’s pretty clear that Dorothy’s as ambitious as Billie and a lot more capable.
I would consider Ethan good luck. I think Joyce needs to be a bit more worldly before she enters into a relationship (that’s not ‘worldly’ as a euphemism for ‘sexually experienced’, as it is often used). She just needs to understand that marriage is not the sole purpose of a relationship. Ethan will be a distraction keeping her from pursuing other people for the time that she needs to get her ideas straight.
I think We were supposed to take from Ethan’s previous conversation with Mike that he was hoping to find someone who wouldn’t pressure him to immediately have a sexual relationship and then live a closeted lifestyle with.
Also on all the Instant Gaydar talk, it’s not a very politically correct thing to say, but some gay individuals do have effeminate mannerisms and speech. It’s not derogatory it’s the way it is. Though it’s a little on point to ask someone if they are gay, It’s not necessarily bigoted or discriminatory.
For example if you are worried that they are trying to use your naive friend as a beard
Gaydar isn’t just about the stereotypes; it also includes perceived indicators of attraction the same sex, perceived absence of indicators of attraction to the opposite sex, obvious intentional signals like gay-rainbow-coloured accessories [the gay rainbow has specific colours, different to a normal rainbow], and practical considerations (‘lesbians have short fingernails’ sounds like a perverted joke, but it is genuinely a useful, though not infallible, tool to suggest heterosexuality [modus tollens]). Studies suggest that one of the most universally reliable methods of detecting homosexuality is snap judgements by looking at the face – which is what Sarah did.
It seems like several people (not all, but some) are getting so caught up on the actual morality of profiling that it’s largely slipping by that it’s entirely fitting with her character. She’s closed off to people and a little misanthropic, which usually leads her to believe that people are hiding something. (Of course once you get past that she can be incredibly compassionate and protective, but now I’m just writing a character profile).
Point is this reminds me of the Valentine’s episode of Community where Britta convinces Annie that asking someone if they’re gay means you’re homophobic.
Why do people have to assume that this Ethan will be 100% gay? Reality is complex. People can be gay, straight, bi-sexual, straight-with-exceptions, gay-with-exceptions, asexual, and probably other combinations I haven’t thought of.
Maybe this Ethan will turn out to be gay with an exception that even he didn’t expect. Who knows?
In any case, I think pigeonholing people as “gay” or “straight” is a bad idea, because it keeps us from seeing the other possibilities.
What you’re saying is totally true, but Ethan did basically say that he wanted to find a girl so he could get back into the closet. So I think that’s why people are assuming that he doesn’t actually feel any attraction to Joyce.
Let’s not forget the fact that, due to the unending “It’s uncertain whether or not Ethan is gay” running joke that was omnipresent here a while back, Willis made a post stating flatly that Ethan is in fact gay. Word of God.
Also Willis stated that everyone will have the same sexual orientation. So if it’s been made entirely clear in Shortpacked!, like Ethan being entirely gay, then it’s true here as well.
Well, add in dealing with social stigmas and legal stuff about marriage and children that straight people don’t usually have to deal with, and you probably could fill a decent-sized book.
Oh well, yeah there is that. But that might to too complicated for a “Dummies” book. Then again I’ve never read one, not sure how complicated they get.
Unfortunatly my dealing with the social stigma is more akin to “If it bugs them, it’s their problem not mine.” which I suppose isn’t one size fits all advice.
No, no, Sarah’s subtly is more like a baseball bat.
Yah see you can hear a Feight train coming from several miles away, and when it hits you it WRECKS you.
Sarah is forward, blunt, and very damaging, but easily missed if you don’t keep your eyes open, and unless you get a full body crack upside the head you’ll live.
Then there is Mike, he is more like a Freight Train, combined with the stealth and cunning of Batman.
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Yeaaaah, the later seasons all either just suck in the boring way or in the “Are you TRYING to get that cancelled?” way. Example: The one where the Flying Dutchman moves in.
It’s like spongebob was like ” hey, kids’ll love us no matter what kind of shit we put out, so let’s stop being creative, original, or memorable, and delegte ourselves to jingling keys in front of your dumb kids’ faces”
And then Nick has to play it for at least six hours a day, every day, on both its main channels (Nickelodeon and NickToons, which theoretically could be used to show, y’know, classic ones like Chalk Zone or Rugrats or Rocco, but has to be convinced to play INVADER ZIM over the endless marathons of that porous yellow menace).
What’s wrong with Invader ZIM?
Nothing, you misunderstood Regalli.
They said that Nick has to be convinced to play Invader Zim (which is clearly superior) instead of playing Spongebob, so the very idea of trying to get them to play old classics that are less well-known/loved in this day and age is entirely impossible.
I miss Doug…
ooh, ooh, there’s a Nick At Nite channel and they show Doug!!
I saw it at my mom’s one night, I was super excited.
After Doug, All That was on, then Kenan and Kel 8D
The 90s Are All That should be its own channel, like Boomerang. Sure it doesn’t have the 50 year Hanna-Barbera back catalog to pull from, but they had enough new original programming to run 18 hours a day before going into Andy Griffith Show and Gilligan’s Island reruns, surely they can do it now.
Can’t get enough Rocko, Angry Beavers, Doug, and Hey Arnold! The only show I can’t sit through anymore is Rocket Power, thanks to its totally dudeical script padding.
Exactly. Thanks for clearing that up. The problem’s not with Zim, it’s that Nick management seems to have some aversion to showing it.
Then again, when you kill a show because it’s too popular among teenagers instead of the target audience, there may be a problem with your network’s management.
Yeah, because nothing makes better sense than killing
a show that has more fans than just those in the
intended group. I mean shoot if the show has fans,
and enough episodes to cycle through, people will still
watch it, but I guess cartoon writers need jobs too.
Nicktoons doesn’t really air a lot of Spongebob. Mostly it airs it’s action cartoons and Power Rangers. It also they used to air a ton of ZIM. Almost non stop over at Nicktoons. Though honestly I’m happier when they air Ninja Storm and Voltron Force. Because Voltron Force is seriously amazing.
actually Nickelodeon shows a fraction of the cartoons it use to, just like Disney and CartoonNet- sorry, I mean the CN. It’s half live action now
Oh fuck that noise.
Hey! Common Fracking courtesy, fellow forum poster, when delving into a conversation about DogDarn childrens’ cartoons, PLEASE! Watch your schtupping language. Spank you very much.
You are one bad-ass hydrofracker.
Sorry, I mean bad-butt hydrofracker.
And yet, The Modifyers never made it to even being aired once? This society, man. This society.
I disagree, it was kind of funny even then. It just wasn’t as good and kind of turned into a Sadist Show.
I remember hearing somewhere that the creators of Spongebob wanted to stop making new ones after the Spongebob movie, but Nick wouldn’t let them go because it was making them so much money, hence the new, sucky ones.
I think the wikipedia page says that after the movie the series actually came under new management, so maybe it’s just the new guys’ faults.
Like what happened to cartoonnetwork as a whole?
Man, Young Justice and Thundercats are good. Like diamonds in the rough.
I thought the movie was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. And it just went downhill from that too.
I have a general rule of thumb: If a series is coming out with a movie, and didn’t begin from a movie, that series is essentially over and the people involved know it, so they’re milking it for whatever they can before it tanks.
Note I said general, meaning that there are a few exceptions.
Does Joyce even have gaydar?
She probably doesn’t. That’s why she’s so confident in her Sandy and Spongebob shipping.
Wait– Sandy is gay?!
Yes, but you would never know it, because I don’t think any episode of Spongebob ever passes the Bechdel test. For individual episodes, it usually fails at the ‘two named female characters’ level. So Sandy doesn’t get much of a chance to pursue other female characters.
(Sandy isn’t actually gay, for those who struggle with internet sarcasm. Probably not, anyway.)
That would be me. I totally believed you there. -_- And now that I think about it, are there even two named FEMALE characters in that show IN TOTAL? (other than in the background)
Three. Sandy, Pearl and Ms. Puff.
She haven’t installed that app yet.
They don’t make an app for that. You have to make it on your own.
But I suck at programming, I’ll just download it from a trusted free site.
Stay away from Gaydar X Pro. It’s a scam.
I recommend G-dar, it has both gaydar and gendar, perfect for spotting traps.
It’s a tarp.
…traps? Please tell me you’re not calling transsexual people traps.
Umm, yeah, that’s kinda immensely horrible. Don’t do that.
There’s a difference between transsexual and a crossdresser.
although they can overlap.
I assumed he was referring to cross-dressers.
Yeah traps are always crossdressers. Always.
Like Bridget from Guilty Gear. He’s a trap.
Or those twins from Utawarerumono. Now those two are traps! You’d never know what they are either way if no one told you. You even see a picture of them sleeping with one of the male main characters at one point to make it so you can’t even suspect it. (Since it is a eroge game with lots of girl on guy sex.)
You also forget that until they had the operation, often the only real difference between a transsexual and transvestite is why they are crossdressing.
“You also forget that until they had the operation, often the only real difference between a transsexual and transvestite is why they are crossdressing.”
Gender identity is a pretty vast difference, much more of one than surgical status. (And not every transperson can, or even wants to, get sex reassignment surgery. How people feel about their gender is the important thing, not how well their bodies match some idea about how the bodies of people of some gender “should look.”)
Hence the WHY they are doing it and gender identity is a pretty big why wouldn’t you say?
You dont need to code, make it on this:
http://explore.appinventor.mit.edu/
(really easy flowchart system for making apps)
Just hock the “Gayon” partial detector most phones have up to a alarm
There isn’t an actual way to even tell…aside from the person being attracted to the same sex. Some people are even asexual so lack of interest in the opposite sex wouldn’t mean anything either.
No see, cause if you’re Asexual it really just means you’re gay. You have to be intensely interested in the opposite sex to not be gay. Otherwise you’re gay.
No. Just no.
Not sure if serious, or mike
Well, there’s something to be said for using “gay” as a blanket term, since “queer” has bad connotations for some people, but in this context, “gay” clearly means “homosexual” and not “GLBTQ+”.
For the record, pretty sure Rusty’s being sarcastic about how hyper-heterosexual society is.
There’s a lot of pressure to constantly express interest in the opposite sex, which hurts GLBTQ, ace, demi, and heck, even het people with relatively smaller libido.
Add to that a limited public knowledge in human sexuality (not aggressively straight? You must be gay, then!), and it’s offensive to everyone involved.
Pretty sure you’re right and Rusty was being sarcastic.
What does the “Q” stand for in GLBTQ?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=GLBTQ
And then there’s demisexual….
I’m going to guess that Joyce has never met an openly gay male before in her life.
…just the later seasons?
Does everyone but Joyce have super gaydar or does Ethan just naturally emit massive amounts of gayiation?
I’m wondering what kind of tumors gayiation would cause…
Definite swelling.
Heh. Swelling.
Of his peni *shot*
I don’t know about tumors but when naked butts rears their cheeky heads, it can cause sudden ‘growths’ to appear. 😀
Fabulous tumors!
Faaabulous ones, of course
It’s an extension of the other verse’s gag, where everyone instantly gets that Ethan’s gay unless it would be really convenient for them to.
I think it’s basic deduction. There are horndogs like Joe and the would-be-rapist who only want to be with Joyce to take advantage of her naivete. Then there are guys like Walky who are irritating, but otherwise harmless and aren’t motivated to hang out with her so they can hop in the sack. If Ethan isn’t trying to take advantage of a sleeping girl nor has he gotten on her nerves he must be gay or at least in a world where people’s characteristics are far more pronounced.
That…I mean…what?
What?
Ethan is gay because he’s not irritating?
No, I think that reads as he’s gay because he hasn’t tried to parlay Joyce’s non-annoyance into sexcy times.
All the straight boys I know are irritating.
None of them will sleep with me!
Me either, damn them! They’re all like “Dude, I’m straight.”
Brasca1, me thinks that you should recheck that theory.
So what you’re saying is that all straight men WOULD try to take advantage of a sleeping girl? Because I’ve been around plenty of sleeping girls, and I’ve somehow managed to restrain myself.
That’s because you are, in fact, a homosexual.
Science proves it.
My misandry senses are tingling….
Considering what happened in the hotel room after prom, Amber doesn’t seem to have super gaydar either. A superpower she lacks.
But she may or may not be immune to criticism!
Best superpower ever.
News travels fast. It’s Indiana.
And by manual, he means penis.
Yeah, wasn’t accusing people of homosexuality based on their mannerisms (unless that mannerism is, like, kissing a dude while also being a dude) both rude and kind of bigoted last time I checked?
of course not. there’s a black president now so all bigotry is null and void. i heard that on msnbc
Which Fox News immediatly denied as being accurate and of course had the charts and stats to ‘prove’ it was false.
yes, but since everyone knows that fox news is full of right wing racist conservative nut jobs and msnbc speaks as the voice of the downtrodden that msnbc must be right in this case
Charts? Fox News is Faz now?
Win.
No, no. He’s the envy of Fox News, so they got more charts to better emulate him.
That doesnt scare me as much as it should! WHY?????
Sarah’s never exactly been the most polite person.
All I know is if my sexuality was based on my mannerisms I’d be considered straight, most people can’t tell, unless I mention my other half by name or something. Except my father oddly enough.
That’s because the gay gene.
(or not…just giving you some Oedipal images)(you may want to bleach your brain now)
It’s entirely possible that she’s just been making observations about his respective interactions with males and females, and noting his apparent lack of sexual attraction to (and intense awkwardness around) Joyce, as opposed to his at least token attraction to Mike (which is almost certain to be present, considering Mike’s attractiveness {in- and out-of-story} and the fact that [REDACTED DUE TO INTER-UNIVERSE THEORIZING].)
Taking only the present moment, it’s obvious that Ethan has no interest in Joyce whatsoever, whereas when confronted with an attractive member of their preferred sex sleeping on their shoulder most people would smile, blush, or otherwise display interest in them. The fact that he is instead making deadpan jokes says one of any number of things – not least that he might actually be asexual, but no one has ever accused Sarah of being politically correct.
tl;dr My argument is Byzantine, but it doesn’t take a Sherlock to figure Ethan out.
Well, my reaction to the newer episodes of Spongebob is usually the sudden urge to change the channel, even if it means beating up my younger brother to do so.
I sometimes feel like the only person on earth that found Spongebob’s first season kind of dull. Really, most of the early seasons, but that’s probably just my sense of humor. Liked the movie well enough though.
I liked Hillenburg’s work on Rocko’s Modern Life more.
To be fair, Rocko had a far stronger ensemble of characters to work with and a lot more risque humor. SpongeBob is kind of hindered by the two leads being dumb as posts and innocent as saints.
Plus Rocko was from Australia, that was points for me.
The first season does have its missteps like “The Paper” and “The Reefblower” but ultimately is good. The newer seasons on the other hand, made you wish that someone would just put the show out of its misery.
I’m fairly certain that by “Ghost Host” (that one I was thinking of above) the writer was deliberately trying to kill it. There’s nightmare fuel, and then there’s an extended sequence of a humanoid ghost’s face splitting open to reveal all manner of horrific things and spiders and… *Shudders* I was never a huge fan either, but it went from “Oh, that thing that’s on all the time, nothing better’s on and it might be one of the handful of episodes I actually like” to “Well, this sucks” to “THE SPONGE MUST DIE”.
No first season is good for me…a show does not peak till it has reached it’s 3rd season, which spongebob did for a couple seasons and eventually will fall and become awful again…
Really? A show doesn’t peak until their third season? that’s a hard and fast rule now?
Might wanna let the people who made SGU know that.
Might want to let the loser behind Firefly and Dollhouse in on that, too.
How does this works with…let’s say, Freakazoid or Invader ZIM, that never had a third season?
Or, hell, how does this works with Danny Phantom, that was pretty good for a kids’ show until the HORRIBLE third season?
Everyone needs to watch Code Lyoko (well, try to enjoy season 1–it gets a lot better in season 2 on) and forget about the crappiness that is Spongebob.
Criminal Minds is the only show I can think of off the top of my head that did peak a few seasons in.
I wish life had a darn manual.
someone needs to write a god damn manual about sexual attraction, took me 25 years to realise I never really thought of anyone as attractive and wondered why people complained about not having sex and why I had little interest in it. Maybe you can write the manual on sponges for those who are interested to clean up the mess made. To be really mean I’d call it the Spongebob Squarepants guide to sex. Put Squidward and Patrick on the cover.
There are several in fact you just have to know where to look.
Saying that without posting a link is just rude.
Your mom gave me a manual.
It only cost a nickel!
Okay, what’s Sarah’s problem, exactly? So what if Ethan is gay? Has he given even the slightest hint that he’s (pretending to be) interested in Joyce? Hell, what’s the problem here period? Can gay guys not be friends with girls?
Hell, I’m not even sure what Ethan’s ulterior motive is here. On some level he’s trying to get himself back in the closet, I get that. But I don’t see how hanging out with Joyce helps.
well if i read the prev comics right, i think hes hoping that if enough people see him “romancing” a girl, aka joyce, then eventually the voices assuming hes straight will drown out the two people that actually know hes gay
kinda yea, at least what joyce might mistake for romantic interest. and his motive is to get back in the closet so he can have an (admittingly unfulfilling) relationship.
Transparent Closet.
Um no…there would have know way to tell if he hadn’t said it.
Damn you Plasma Mongoose. TVTropes? Will not click.
Okay, won’t read.
Okay, won’t be sucked in.
…..NOOOOOooooooo…………….
….. Tvtropes link. Mongoose wins the page.
Well, the problem is that Joyce isn’t exactly looking at Ethan as friend material, and Ethan knows it. Sarah just knows that if this continues it will end badly. Because, I mean, common sense.
Sarah’s been in protective big sis mode when it comes to Joyce since the near date rape incident and she seems to have a pretty awesome bullshit detector and what Ethan is trying to do is drag himself back into the closet and drag Joyce with him. I like Ethan but that is fucking vile and if I were Sarah and I got the vibe that someone was leading my friend on I wouldn’t be his biggest fan either and leading Joyce on is exactly what Ethan is doing. Sarah can tell he’s up to something but I think she’s trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he might not be doing what he’s doing intentionally. He could still be in the “figuring himself out” stage of his sexuality. He’s not though. He knows he’s gay he just hasn’t accepted it yet.
i dunno if id call it vile, misguided with the potential to BECOME vile, maybe, but definitely not there yet. he hasn’t expressed any romantic interest in joyce, the only reason WE know anything is we are witness to the narrative perspective
ps as i understand it he totally accepts that hes gay, he just doesn’t want to put up with other people coming to accept that hes gay
Could it just be the fact Ethan is trying to create a new group of friends because he’s feeling a little lost and left out of the new group dynamics is why he is doing this as opposed him having some dark alterative motive?
Nope – we say Ethan’s narration after Mike the Destroyer corrupted his mind. He’s definitely trying to make Joyce his beard.
Of course, Sarah has not way to know that. Except that she’s got a finely-tuned nose for trouble.
or shes like deadpool and reads the comics
I don’t know if I can buy that. Given the past comics, I would be so bold as to believe that Ethan has absolutely no agenda here whatsoever. Not to say his long-term plan isn’t to skee-daddle back into the closet (as that is abundantly obvious), but as far as this situation goes (and considering his past actions and musings), this seems to be as innocent as it appears, two people just watching cartoons. I can’t believe Ethan is thinking that much deeper into it than that
Looks guilty as heck to me, given what we heard of Ethan’s plans.
…. Or he’s WATCHING SOME GOD DAMN CARTOONS WITH A FRIEND and Sarah is just being a bongo. Stretch of the imagination I’m sure.
I believe Sarah is concerned for Joyce.
I don’t think she has a problem with Ethan being friends with Joyce, but that she knows that Joyce is going to start falling for Ethan and picking him to be the one she’s going to marry. She can see it ending really badly for both of them.
Personally, I think Sarah is just confused that the two are getting along fine, since Joyce seems at least slightly homophobic. Well, confused and accurately suspicious that Ethan hasn’t told her. I think that Sarah thinks that Joyce needs to be confronted about it.
I’m surprised guys outnumber ladies in DoA’s readership according to the new poll. I would have expected a more even split. Still, I guess 25% female readers still beats out the mainstream comics industry…
What poll?
There’s usually a poll floating around the right edge of the main page. By the time you’re looking at comments you’ve gone too far.
And I just assumed that since the internet is for porn, it therefore has a pretty high concentration of guys in general. Plus maybe the fact that the main way to hear about this comic was to come here from a transformers-related-ish comic may also have been a factor.
Yeah, I pretty much thought the same. The poll was about what I expected. It was Questionable Content that brought me here, and I am, in fact, female, but probably a huge portion of the readership is people who read Shortpacked! first. (Although I totally read all of Willis’s previous comics after stumbling on this one. Well played, sir.)
I posted a short Youtube video a while ago which David reposted as Fan-art on the homepage. Youtube demographics says that 100% of the views on the video are from males (but a sample of only 35 views with specified gender).
I think I got here from Something Positive, although I’ve read It’s Walky! as well in the past.
Being gay is just like driving a car. Keep your hand on the stick but don’t go to fast cuz you’ll start to wear out
Sounds a lot like being straight and single. (Well, presuming you’re a male, but it sounds like you were presuming that too.)
I thought the rule was ‘change gears quickly (but not too quickly) then get both hands back on the wheel’, not ‘keep your hand on the stick’. Then again, I gave up on learning to drive because cars scare me.
When Joyce does find out, we will laugh or cry.
fool! I shall Craugh.
And I shall lye.
Lye?
Exactly!
(The painful funny sympathy-inducing comedy – it burns!)
Like lye? Apply a vinegar solution XD
Because water won’t do any good. I almost wanted
to try that to see if it worked, but I couldn’t find any
Lye, and shoot I’m not stupid…
Most of the time.
I predict that it will only come up when she tries to kiss him.
I predict that nothing will “Come up” when she tries to Kiss him
HEYOOOOO
knucks
blow it out
I predict that Joyce considers kissing to be a gateway to premarital hanky panky.
So she would only try to kiss him if he proposed first…which I HOPE Ethan wouldn’t be driven to doing by his desire to stay in the closet.
She’s way too old-fashioned to take that kind of initiative. If it didn’t happen in the forties Joyce won’t do it as far as dating goes.
I’m gonna let Sarah’s “instant gaydar” slide because of the way it was played. Ethan could have been asexual or her platonic friend or whatever, but when she met him, he gave this little half-panicked smile that pretty much just says “I’m living a lie and hoping no one notices.”
Oddly, this closet phase feels really right for Ethan, even though the original version of the character never went through such a thing. Mostly because Ethan is a good guy who’s got a history of moral cowardice, of “taking the easy way out” despite the long-term consequences.
Meanwhile, the ball’s in Amber’s court. I hope she’s got a more concrete strategy for dealing with the press, because it’s pretty clear that Dorothy’s as ambitious as Billie and a lot more capable.
“Dorothy’s as ambitious as Billie and a lot more capable.”
I think that’s the key to dealing with Dorothy. Play Billie’s obsession with Sal’s supposed Amazigirl identity against Dorothy’s deductive reasoning.
Ethan is, like, ten times more pathetic and sad in DoA than in Shortpacked. I just want to pat him on the shoulder or something.
How the heck does she know he’s gay? Have they met before?
He has not yet shown any intention to introduce Joyce to his penis, whether she’s conscious or not?
Joyce has the worst luck with guys.
Also he gave Sarah a *really* guilty self-conscious smile over Joyce’s head when they met.
And it couldn’t have been an “oh shit this isn’t what it looks like don’t hit me with a baseball bat” look or anything.
I would consider Ethan good luck. I think Joyce needs to be a bit more worldly before she enters into a relationship (that’s not ‘worldly’ as a euphemism for ‘sexually experienced’, as it is often used). She just needs to understand that marriage is not the sole purpose of a relationship. Ethan will be a distraction keeping her from pursuing other people for the time that she needs to get her ideas straight.
Also, gaydar? Tends to only really work when you meet someone in person, but I’m assuming Ethan sets it off for miles around him.
I think We were supposed to take from Ethan’s previous conversation with Mike that he was hoping to find someone who wouldn’t pressure him to immediately have a sexual relationship and then live a closeted lifestyle with.
Also on all the Instant Gaydar talk, it’s not a very politically correct thing to say, but some gay individuals do have effeminate mannerisms and speech. It’s not derogatory it’s the way it is. Though it’s a little on point to ask someone if they are gay, It’s not necessarily bigoted or discriminatory.
For example if you are worried that they are trying to use your naive friend as a beard
Gaydar isn’t just about the stereotypes; it also includes perceived indicators of attraction the same sex, perceived absence of indicators of attraction to the opposite sex, obvious intentional signals like gay-rainbow-coloured accessories [the gay rainbow has specific colours, different to a normal rainbow], and practical considerations (‘lesbians have short fingernails’ sounds like a perverted joke, but it is genuinely a useful, though not infallible, tool to suggest heterosexuality [modus tollens]). Studies suggest that one of the most universally reliable methods of detecting homosexuality is snap judgements by looking at the face – which is what Sarah did.
It seems like several people (not all, but some) are getting so caught up on the actual morality of profiling that it’s largely slipping by that it’s entirely fitting with her character. She’s closed off to people and a little misanthropic, which usually leads her to believe that people are hiding something. (Of course once you get past that she can be incredibly compassionate and protective, but now I’m just writing a character profile).
Point is this reminds me of the Valentine’s episode of Community where Britta convinces Annie that asking someone if they’re gay means you’re homophobic.
Why do people have to assume that this Ethan will be 100% gay? Reality is complex. People can be gay, straight, bi-sexual, straight-with-exceptions, gay-with-exceptions, asexual, and probably other combinations I haven’t thought of.
Maybe this Ethan will turn out to be gay with an exception that even he didn’t expect. Who knows?
In any case, I think pigeonholing people as “gay” or “straight” is a bad idea, because it keeps us from seeing the other possibilities.
What you’re saying is totally true, but Ethan did basically say that he wanted to find a girl so he could get back into the closet. So I think that’s why people are assuming that he doesn’t actually feel any attraction to Joyce.
Let’s not forget the fact that, due to the unending “It’s uncertain whether or not Ethan is gay” running joke that was omnipresent here a while back, Willis made a post stating flatly that Ethan is in fact gay. Word of God.
Maybe he just wanted to make sure we knew he was gay so it’d be special/unusual for him to be paired with Joyce.
Also Willis stated that everyone will have the same sexual orientation. So if it’s been made entirely clear in Shortpacked!, like Ethan being entirely gay, then it’s true here as well.
I am sure if Ethan looks around, he will find “Being Gay for Dummies”. Hell, there is one of those for everything else.
That… is a brilliant idea for a “for dummies” book. I did a quick search- it doesnt’ seem to exist yet.
So far I’ve got, if you’re a man you like sleeping with men but not women and if you’re a woman you like sleeping with women but not men.
I can probably pad that out to about 200 pages and 12 chapters.
Well, add in dealing with social stigmas and legal stuff about marriage and children that straight people don’t usually have to deal with, and you probably could fill a decent-sized book.
Oh well, yeah there is that. But that might to too complicated for a “Dummies” book. Then again I’ve never read one, not sure how complicated they get.
Unfortunatly my dealing with the social stigma is more akin to “If it bugs them, it’s their problem not mine.” which I suppose isn’t one size fits all advice.
Ethan puts the Man in Manual.
He puts the man in quite a lot of things.
No, wait, that’s Joe.
And Ethan is sexually inexperienced here.
Sad day.
More like, if there’s a Manuel, please direct me to him! RAWR
Wait… How does she know he’s gay?
She reads the comments.
Because she’s the goddamn Sarah Clinton.
Because Sarah is this universe’s Cheese.
…or she learned it from the aforementioned Soulgaze.
(Seriously. Dresden Files. Pick ’em up. They’re a hoot.)
Indeed
Seriously.
Heya Sarah, I want you to meet a friend of mine who I don’t think you’ve met.
Tact, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is tact.
GET TO KNOW HIM!
Who needs tact when you can make your point with all the subtle nuance of a runaway freight train?
No, no, Sarah’s subtly is more like a baseball bat.
Yah see you can hear a Feight train coming from several miles away, and when it hits you it WRECKS you.
Sarah is forward, blunt, and very damaging, but easily missed if you don’t keep your eyes open, and unless you get a full body crack upside the head you’ll live.
Then there is Mike, he is more like a Freight Train, combined with the stealth and cunning of Batman.
Ethan is deliberately leading Joyce on in order to salve his feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Tact has no place in that discussion. -Fists- might have a place in that discussion.
Based on what? The fact that he’s making friends with her?
Based on his own comments on the subject, which me made just prior to restarting his pursuit of women.
Damn you, Ethan, now I want access to that manual, too. Alright, I’ve been in a gay relationship for the past three years, but how can I be sure?!
It sounds like you’ll need to instigate a simple gender check.
I would indeed like to see this manual that tells you how to know yourself and ensure that others accept you for that…. Get crackin on that, Willis.
Seriously, no one has ever seen this? Well, here, Ethan. You asked for it, here you go. http://www.amazon.com/The-Unofficial-Manual-Kevin-Dilallo/dp/0385474458
Look no manual is perfect.
But for Guys its easy.
The people you think of to make your dick hard.