Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

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Dana
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September 20, 2023

Dana

by David M Willis on August 13, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 05 - Saturday's All Right for Slighting

└ Tags: dana, joyce, sarah

Discussion (187) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Platypus
    Platypus
    August 13, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Alright, story- time.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 13, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

      Will there be diagrams too? I LOVE DIAGRAMS!

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        August 13, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

        The Great Faz (Sarah’s R.A., no doubt) will show up with Pie Charts and Bar Graphs.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          August 13, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

          Finally, a good reason to introduce Faz to DoA.

          • Cholma
            Cholma
            August 13, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

            Sadly, Ruth is already the women’s R.A.

            Have we seen the men’s R.A.? I suppose the Great Faz could be that.

            • arjay2813
              arjay2813
              August 13, 2012 at 2:02 am | #

              i dont think faz’s age has been established in regards to Amber, but i think he’s younger than her, so he wouldnt be in the college with her. ( base this solely on the fact that the divorce was after she was born, and despite the fact that he was abusive, i’m pretty sure they mentioned him cheating on Amber’s mom, and i am guessing it was after her birth

              • TheLastOutlaw
                TheLastOutlaw
                August 13, 2012 at 4:11 am | #

                She’s older, at some point it had been mentioned that Amber’s dad had made her big sister to “half the coast.” But still, I could picture Faz as an R.A. Holding frequent meetings with charts and graphs dedicated to “the greatness that is Faz.”

                • Daibhid C
                  Daibhid C
                  August 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm | #

                  She’s older in the Walkyverse. Does that necessarily mean she’s older in the Dumbverse? I don’t know. (I’ve got a feeling some characters don’t have the same relative ages, but I can’t think of examples.)

                • Godly
                  Godly
                  August 19, 2012 at 6:37 pm | #

                  He could have skipped some grades.

              • Historyman68
                Historyman68
                August 14, 2012 at 3:20 am | #

                Robin’s somewhat older in DoA relative to the rest of the characters, and Roz is older. So it’s definitely possible that Faz could be older or younger depending on where his character fits in.

        • David
          David M Willis
          August 13, 2012 at 2:43 am | #

          Faz wouldn’t be the R.A. of Sarah’s wing. He’s a dude! (It wouldn’t be Ruth, either. It’s currently Ruth’s first year as R.A.)

          • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
            Zanosuke_Kurosaki
            August 13, 2012 at 11:52 pm | #

            Really? Ha! I -knew- she was exaggerating about “running a tight ship”. Can’t make such a claim if it’s one’s first time doing such a thing, after all.

            • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
              Zanosuke_Kurosaki
              August 13, 2012 at 11:53 pm | #

              Oops, meant “can’t -accurately- make such a claim.”

      • Osaru Sensei
        Osaru Sensei
        August 13, 2012 at 12:40 pm | #

        OMG it’s Momo.

        I keep trying to access Walkypedia to look up Mainverse Dana, but it won’t connect. 🙁

        • Phillip Wilde
          Phillip Wilde
          August 13, 2012 at 9:39 pm | #

          Walkypedia done died, sadly.

        • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          August 13, 2012 at 11:53 pm | #

          Original Dana is linked elsewhere in the comments for this one, and was one of Mainverse Sarah’s friends way back when.

  2. Darth
    Darth
    August 13, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Then nobody lived happily ever after, and Mike fucked your mom.

    THE END

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 13, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

      At least Mike got a happy ending.

      • Amaziboy
        Amaziboy
        August 13, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

        For a nickle.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          August 13, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

          What a bargain!

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 13, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

            Wait there’s more. Call now and you can get a FAAAACEEEE for absolutely free.

        • Bickendan
          Bickendan
          August 13, 2012 at 2:27 am | #

          He overpaid.

      • Jehosaphat
        Jehosaphat
        August 13, 2012 at 1:36 am | #

        ..and so did “your mom” which I guess is nice for her. She only have to pay a nickel!

  3. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    August 13, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    Twisting the end, something also associated with weed.

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      August 13, 2012 at 9:48 am | #

      THEY ALREADY KNEW IT WAS WEED

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        August 13, 2012 at 10:28 pm | #

        That’s what’s normally inside joints (not hangouts)

  4. Rachel
    Rachel
    August 13, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    Sometimes, it’s just something that simple.

  5. Jack Napier
    Jack Napier
    August 13, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    Dana’s not exactly going to be subtle, is she?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 13, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

      She’s as subtle as a camp fire in a fireworks van.

      • LuckyStar7
        LuckyStar7
        August 13, 2012 at 9:49 am | #

        As subtle as shooting a bullet at a gas tank.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      August 14, 2012 at 3:25 am | #

      I guess that’s an interesting character trait- I’ve never known anyone to say that, especially to a brand new acquaintance, like that. Maybe “do you smoke?” or making the two-fingered “inhaling a joint” movement with accompanying sucking sound- but “do you like to get high?” just feels very obvious.

      I hope that’s part of her character intentionally- maybe she was so obvious about her smoking that it came to the attention of the cops or something, whereas had it been more subtle it wouldn’t have been as much of a problem?

  6. Amaziboy
    Amaziboy
    August 13, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    Chem free dorm?

    • Amaziboy
      Amaziboy
      August 13, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

      No chemistry majors allowed there.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 13, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

        We all know that failed chem majors will end up setting up meth labs in caravan parks. 😛

        • Cholma
          Cholma
          August 13, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

          Can the caravan be periwinkle blue? It’s for me mum.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            August 13, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

            Nope it will be white with brown like everybody else.

            • Rognik
              Rognik
              August 13, 2012 at 4:17 am | #

              That’s not brown, that’s rust.

              • LuckyStar7
                LuckyStar7
                August 13, 2012 at 9:47 am | #

                That’s not white…
                I’ll leave that one to the imagination.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  August 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm | #

                  You wouldn’t happen to be refering to a certain milky substance by any chance, would you?

  7. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 13, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    DAMN, I thought it was going to be meth or even worse, pixie sticks.

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      August 13, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

      Crowbars.

      • Heimdallw32
        Heimdallw32
        August 13, 2012 at 6:03 am | #

        Real men do crowbars.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          August 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm | #

          But will it blend?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 13, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

      At least it’s not Smilex or Soylent Green.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 13, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

        But Soylent Green is vegan approved, it says so on the label.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 13, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

          I’m just glad it’s not happy crack.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 13, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

            Crack dipped with Joker toxin?

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              August 13, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

              It involves Kool-aid…that’s all I know.

              • LuckyStar7
                LuckyStar7
                August 13, 2012 at 9:22 am | #

                I thought happy crack WAS Pixy Stix.

        • Joebo
          Joebo
          August 13, 2012 at 1:18 am | #

          Depends on whether or not you mean literary soylent Green or movie soylent green. In the book Soylent Green was made out of soy beans and lentils, which would be vegan approved. The movie made it into people.

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            August 13, 2012 at 1:44 am | #

            Really? If that’s true, that might be a time when the film really was better than the book.

            • Tarod
              Tarod
              August 13, 2012 at 2:31 am | #

              You must NEVER deride the book; it would be improper. Why, it isn’t pretentious at all!

              • LuckyStar7
                LuckyStar7
                August 13, 2012 at 9:24 am | #

                PEOPLE DID SOME SERIOUS SHIT TO HARRY POTTER!!

            • ProfessorZoot
              ProfessorZoot
              August 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm | #

              Eeh, Make Room! Make Room! was an elitist Western dystopia decrying unlimited population growth (particularly of uncouth mouthbreathers and their ilk). Like all of these harangues it pretty much said that if we don’t start letting the unworthy die like they’re supposed to we will all end up kinda, you know, uncomfortable. The movie ignored the book entirely for the shock of “Soylent Green is people!” which in the book would have been a solution not a problem. Neither is great.

          • Bri
            Bri
            August 13, 2012 at 8:39 am | #

            I think you have that reversed…

          • thomas0comer
            thomas0comer
            August 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm | #

            IIRC the vegetables were fertilized with ground-up people in the book.

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      August 13, 2012 at 9:21 am | #

      GIANT PIXIE STICKS

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 13, 2012 at 10:07 am | #

      She starts to REALLY get disruptive when she starts taking ThreeEye.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        August 13, 2012 at 10:07 am | #

        edit: ThirdEye. shit…

        • Legasher
          Legasher
          August 13, 2012 at 1:33 pm | #

          Haha, “I seeeee you Sarah! I see those who walk before you and He Who Walks Behind!”

          I was rereading that last night. Sarah really does have the temperament of a wizard. That would be an awesome twist! Joyce would freak right out of her skin.

          • HeatPhoenix
            HeatPhoenix
            August 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm | #

            Seriously? You guys are awesome.

            • Somebody
              Somebody
              November 13, 2012 at 3:29 am | #

              I called you a douche for the “spray tan” comment. Ha!

  8. Bekah
    Bekah
    August 13, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    I had a similar conversation my first year of university outside of Intro to Philosophy, waiting for the prof to show up. Only, instead of “you like to get high?” it was “you down?” and the dude had a joint in his hands.

    • slicedtoad
      slicedtoad
      August 13, 2012 at 11:17 am | #

      Philosophy and pot are a great combo!

  9. Deemah
    Deemah
    August 13, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Someone did that to me for Avengers, they told me the Hulk is angry.

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      August 13, 2012 at 6:01 am | #

      Oh great, thanks for wrecking it for the rest of us.

  10. Buckybone
    Buckybone
    August 13, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

    Anyone who brings weed into a freshman dorm deserves to get kicked out for pure stupidity.

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      August 13, 2012 at 9:26 am | #

      And pure weakness.

    • historyman68
      historyman68
      August 16, 2012 at 4:47 am | #

      Depends on the college. Very much.

  11. Ryan Balis
    Ryan Balis
    August 13, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

    actually, the box was filled with My Little Pony DVD’s and stuff

    • Liam
      Liam
      August 13, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      Please, you couldn’t fill a box with those dvd’s. Maybe with figurines, bu that’s more like Ethan’s thing

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 13, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

        You could if you ground them up first. 😀

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 13, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

          and then snorts them.

      • Ryan Balis
        Ryan Balis
        August 13, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

        you only need Pinkie Pie to get high

        • WhiteEyedCat
          WhiteEyedCat
          August 13, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

          High on fun! (and friendship)

        • LARPeX
          LARPeX
          August 13, 2012 at 1:10 am | #

          Fun fact*: The name of every My Little Pony character is also the name of a drug.

          *not really a fact

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            August 13, 2012 at 3:33 am | #

            Celestia sounds like it would F*ck you up.

            • LuckyStar7
              LuckyStar7
              August 13, 2012 at 9:27 am | #

              What about Princess Miamore Cadenza?

              • Rex Hondo
                Rex Hondo
                August 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm | #

                This one time, I took a Rainbow Dash and an Applejack together. At first I was all like “Whooooooa” and then I was all like “YeeeeeeHaw!” And then I woke up in a Stuckey’s parking lot two states over.

                • Historyman68
                  Historyman68
                  August 14, 2012 at 3:27 am | #

                  Actually pretty convincing.

                • Petre Pan
                  Petre Pan
                  August 14, 2012 at 10:59 pm | #

                  I love this conversation.

          • Pseudowolf
            Pseudowolf
            August 13, 2012 at 10:43 am | #

            Derpy Hooves is a gateway pony.

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            August 13, 2012 at 11:43 am | #

            Cranky Doodle Donkey is the downer of all downers.

  12. Leorale
    Leorale
    August 13, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

    Aw, li’l Sarah!
    She’s all idealistic and naive in the first panel but still very believably herself.

  13. Liam
    Liam
    August 13, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

    Honestly, despite knowin that Dana was an addict, that seems to me to be somewhat benign…

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      August 13, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

      Somehow I don’t think that’s the end of the story. And yeah, seriously, that’s the first question you have for your roommate at school? Kinda sad.

      • Pyr05
        Pyr05
        August 13, 2012 at 4:03 am | #

        That actually is the first question from someone with an addiction who, if she was down for it, would have lit up right there, door be damned. I know a few people who are that obsessed with getting high that much.

        • TheLastOutlaw
          TheLastOutlaw
          August 13, 2012 at 4:20 am | #

          Yea, I grew up with one. High points of his existence included trying to tell a cop it was “ok” because it was “only some herb.” There’s a point that some reach where they’ve convinced themselves there is nothing wrong with smoking it (and I’m not even going to begin to touch THAT topic) which is great until they also seem to forget that it’s a controlled substance.

      • NoLast
        NoLast
        August 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm | #

        It makes sense as a first question…Something she likes to do that’s also illegal. It’s less “Do we have this thing in common?” and more “How open can I be about this thing?”

        • MM
          MM
          August 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm | #

          If you need that confirmed before exchanging pleasantries like “How was your trip?” and “What’s your major?”, I think it’s safe to say your priorities are a little mixed up.

      • Liam
        Liam
        August 14, 2012 at 1:19 am | #

        Which is why I said “despite knowing she’s an addict.” sure, in context it’s sad, but on its own, that doesn’t make me dislike her. So far, she seems pretty likable, imo. Of course, I doubt it’ll stay that way

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 13, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

      Are you saying that she’s a cancer?

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        August 13, 2012 at 1:42 am | #

        Well she seems to suck like cancer.

        • LuckyStar7
          LuckyStar7
          August 13, 2012 at 9:31 am | #

          My sister’s a Cancer, and she’s kinda popular.

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        August 13, 2012 at 4:31 am | #

        Nah, she totally has a Libra vibe.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        August 14, 2012 at 3:29 am | #

        In certain states, that would justify her use completely.

    • pan_dim_onium
      pan_dim_onium
      August 13, 2012 at 1:43 am | #

      Benign, nine and a half

    • Gargamel
      Gargamel
      August 13, 2012 at 7:33 am | #

      You know I was expecting it to be something more serious like Cocaine or Meth.

  14. Brasca1
    Brasca1
    August 13, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

    If she was that open about her drug habit within a minute of meeting her roommate she would’ve gotten busted even if she didn’t narc on her.

    • NoLast
      NoLast
      August 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm | #

      You’d be surprised…Most people really don’t care about it, as long as they don’t smoke it in a communal area.

  15. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    August 13, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

    Inside that box was a weed. Turns out Dana was a gardener who had acrophilia

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 13, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

      Inside that box was the grass from Castle Exodus. You know, the one that could kick your ass?

  16. Nexev
    Nexev
    August 13, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

    Dana seems more awkward then i imagined she was.

  17. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    August 13, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

    Dana’s box had weed?

    This is a twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 13, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

      And the weed is from aliens who are your real father for you are the chosen one.

      • Manmadeking
        Manmadeking
        August 13, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

        I GET IT

      • LuckyStar7
        LuckyStar7
        August 13, 2012 at 9:33 am | #

        (^^)/*\(^^) High Fives!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 13, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

      Dana’s box has got weed stuffed inside? Most people prefer to smoke it.

      • Jehosaphat
        Jehosaphat
        August 13, 2012 at 1:32 am | #

        Maybe she thought that is how it is used to get high?

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      August 13, 2012 at 4:32 am | #

      What’s in the box? WHAT’S IN THE BOX!?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 13, 2012 at 5:08 pm | #

        With the Dots?

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        August 14, 2012 at 3:30 am | #

        Thom Yorke’s head.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      August 13, 2012 at 10:02 am | #

      She was a Deadhead the whole time.

  18. SplashBoogie
    SplashBoogie
    August 13, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

    I love how Sarah’s first steps into her dorm almost perfectly mirror Joyce’s

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 13, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

      only with a higher vantage point.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      August 14, 2012 at 3:31 am | #

      But instead of a conversation about pooping, a conversation about toking

  19. Globen
    Globen
    August 13, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

    I think we’ve all had our bad college roomies.

    Mine was a short, fat Armenian suitemate with enough hair to be a walking brillo pad complaining about either 1) His crappy love life or 2) The guy he used to live with that apparently smoked weed. This was usually preceded by him walking into my room without knocking ’cause he used to live in it. The fact that he only showered once a week didn’t help. (Maybe *that’s* why your love life sucked?)

    I’ll never forget the day we all left the suite: he never picked up a suitcase, he just walked behind his mother, berating her for not taking the suitcases fast enough.

    I hope someday to meet another Armenian person to change my attitude of Armenians for the better.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      August 13, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

      Mine was named “Ben.” I knew of him as “Trumpet-Playing Ben,” because he played the trumpet at all hours. Other people knew him as “Asshole Ben.” I didn’t understand that one until the time I was around and he was on the phone with his girlfriend. He screamed abuse so loudly that his face turned red and he sprayed spittle all over his phone. Then they broke up, and he started screaming at other people, though oddly not me.

      Hs disappeared between semesters, leaving me with an empty room for half a year.

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        August 13, 2012 at 1:16 am | #

        Mine was a suitemate, but he still sucked. Liked to talk on his phone while sitting in the bathroom for about thirty minutes or more, had no concept of “indoor voice” or “the walls are -thin-” or “the bathroom is a shared one, not a personal domain to just wander into and out of whenever you feel like. do your shit and get. OUT.” Also had this habit, due to being a germophobe (and yet he wanted to work in the medical field. *facepalm*), of not blowing his nose… but instead hocking it up as a loogie. Into either the toilet, or while he was showering. He’d do this quite loudly, too (even having my CD player on full volume and headphones wouldn’t stop the sheer LOUDness.) It got to the point where I was actually woken up by it at 5:30 in the morning.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          August 13, 2012 at 1:46 am | #

          There are days when I worry that I’m the asshole roommate.

          If either of my roomies are reading this, I’m sorry for the crap you’ve had to deal with.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            August 13, 2012 at 1:59 am | #

            There’s days when i wonder if I’m the asshole roomate…then I realize I still live with my mom…so yeah…I kinda am.

          • LuckyStar7
            LuckyStar7
            August 13, 2012 at 9:37 am | #

            You’re awesome, Kernanator.
            *hugs*

          • Petre Pan
            Petre Pan
            August 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm | #

            I know, right? Back in college, I was sometimes noisy, because I liked to have a good time with people and invite over everyone I could possibly see, I wasn’t afraid of my housemates so I left my bedroom door unlocked, and between the studying and the hanging out I had no time to clean, so I just made sure my pile stayed on my side of the room and that was that. My roommate seemed okay with it. But I worry that deep down, she wishes she were here, bongoing about me. = / Did any of you ever try TALKING to your asshole roomie to let her/him know you were bothered? Some of us are a little more laid back, so we don’t know what bothers you!

    • Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
      Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
      August 13, 2012 at 12:49 am | #

      I know an Armenian. She’s actually quite nice as are most of the Armenians that I’ve come in contact with over Facebook. I promise they aren’t that rude.

      • Globen
        Globen
        August 13, 2012 at 10:18 am | #

        Well, Armenian *men*. The mom seemed nice enough, had a prominent position at HBO, but boy, I hate to say it, but her son was every terrible Middle-Eastern stereotype I could think of. And I say that being well aware that yes, Armenia isn’t part of the Middle East. It’s near Turkey though!

        • Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
          Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
          August 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm | #

          Okay, yeah, I can see the men’s side a bit. But even her b/f is pretty nice to her. I know her dad is very big in their people’s tradition

          • Globen
            Globen
            August 13, 2012 at 11:09 pm | #

            Oh, I’m well aware stereotypes aren’t universal. I’d just like to see it for myself.

            Maybe I should take a trip to Armenia, I don’t know.

    • sun tzu
      sun tzu
      August 13, 2012 at 2:22 am | #

      Hey, I never had a bad college roomie.
      Maybe because I spent college living at my parents’.

      • Mo
        Mo
        August 14, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

        That was how I had a bad college roomie. Stepdad’s all, “TURN THAT TV DOWN I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING.” Killjoy.

    • Badtux
      Badtux
      August 13, 2012 at 11:14 am | #

      Ah, bad roommates. Mine was a Venezuelan from one of the prominent families that ran the place at the time. He never cleaned anything, he never washed anything, because he had servants for that at home, he sneered at the Indios (the mostly-Amerind majority) in much the same way a Southern segregationist might have sneered at African-Americans, he was, in short, the epitomy of the bigoted aristocratic conquistador-descended jerk, including how he tried to order me around as if I were his servant (yeah, good luck with that!). When Hugo Chavez came to power I was, like, “HIGH FIVE!”, and played “Like A Rolling Stone” over and over about a dozen times :).

      • Benny
        Benny
        August 13, 2012 at 1:08 pm | #

        I avoided bad roommates by requesting a single when I was a first year. Though I did have trouble when I was in an apartment. Fuckers never knew how to clean anything and kept breaking my stuff. Also they smoked all the time. High people are really boring to hang out with.

    • ProfessorZoot
      ProfessorZoot
      August 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm | #

      Well there’s always the Kardashians . . .

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      August 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm | #

      My first roommate was an Ecuadorian. He lived up to pretty much every negative Latino stereotype, and liked to “borrow” my word processor in the middle of the night. To write porn stories on.

      My second roomate was a black coach-in-training, a nice enough guy, but his voice was SO low and resonant that it made my bed vibrate, and he liked to talk to his gf on the phone late at night. One night I had a test the next day and asked him to take his phone call out in the hall so I could sleep. The next day, the ENTIRE REST OF THE FLOOR was bongoing to me about him keeping them awake.

      Then there was the alcoholic “Patton” fanatic. Must have seen that movie 50 times during the semester, which didn’t compare to coming home and finding EMT’s and Public Safety in my room trying to deal with a guy with alcohol poisoning who didn’t want to go to the hospital.

      And finally, the Preppy From Hell, who had a loft bed, whose buddies came over most mornings at 7 AM to play videogames and sat on MY bed. While I was still IN it… but whom I mostly remember because his one girlfriend was afraid of heights so she refused to F*** in the loft. So guess where. Yep, that’s right. At least I wasn’t in the bed that time.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      August 14, 2012 at 3:34 am | #

      I know a number of Armenians, very nice people all.

  20. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
    Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
    August 13, 2012 at 12:43 am | #

    The fact that Joyce guessed this on the first try, is beyond amazement. She sees right through these stories, lol!

    • ryan
      ryan
      August 13, 2012 at 8:50 am | #

      joyce’s only exposure to drugs is the one time she watched “reefer madness”. it gave her nightmares for months.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        August 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm | #

        Which one?

        • David
          David M Willis
          August 13, 2012 at 3:54 pm | #

          The one where she goes to school and everyone’s naked. Both parts of that were scary.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            September 1, 2012 at 2:02 am | #

            XD

            I meant which Reefer Madness, though.

  21. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 13, 2012 at 12:50 am | #

    Sarah’s old hairstyle makes her look years younger.

    • TheLastOutlaw
      TheLastOutlaw
      August 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm | #

      Today Plasma is Momo.

      I approve.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        August 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm | #

        I like her newly discovered feature which allows her to change hair colour.

        • TheLastOutlaw
          TheLastOutlaw
          August 13, 2012 at 8:22 pm | #

          The animation really sold that one.

  22. John Bon Pony
    John Bon Pony
    August 13, 2012 at 12:54 am | #

    Oh my god Sarah, your first year dorm experience sounds like mine.

  23. antiwesley
    antiwesley
    August 13, 2012 at 12:55 am | #

    There is no Dana, only Zuul….

    • Jehosaphat
      Jehosaphat
      August 13, 2012 at 1:34 am | #

      I am the Keymaster. Are you the Gatekeeper?

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        August 13, 2012 at 1:50 am | #

        Are you . . . a god?

        • TheLastOutlaw
          TheLastOutlaw
          August 13, 2012 at 4:07 am | #

          Damn skippy.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          August 13, 2012 at 11:39 am | #

          Dammit, Ray. If somebody ask you if you’re holding, you say YES!

  24. Shade
    Shade
    August 13, 2012 at 1:02 am | #

    Damn it Joyce, you’re supposed to use spoiler tags!

  25. turkishproverb
    turkishproverb
    August 13, 2012 at 1:03 am | #

    SSSSSSTttttoooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyytttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    • Jehosaphat
      Jehosaphat
      August 13, 2012 at 1:33 am | #

      mmmmmmmeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!one!!!!1!

      • LuckyStar7
        LuckyStar7
        August 13, 2012 at 9:39 am | #

        SSSSSTTTTTOOOOORRRRRYYYYYTTTTTIIIIIMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Jetstream
    Jetstream
    August 13, 2012 at 2:02 am | #

    Is nobody gonna comment on the bizarre fact that Joyce, of all people, knows a COLLOQUIAL term for marijuana?

    • Ancestral Hamster
      Ancestral Hamster
      August 13, 2012 at 2:17 am | #

      AHHH! Our little Joyce has been corrupted by secular humanists! We should have sent her to a proper CHRISTIAN college! 😀

    • TheLastOutlaw
      TheLastOutlaw
      August 13, 2012 at 4:06 am | #

      Most church youth groups do some sort of drug awareness work including common nicknames for drugs.

    • Raen
      Raen
      August 13, 2012 at 6:11 am | #

      She just didn’t feel like using the full name, “DEMON weed.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      August 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm | #

      Pretty much everyone knows that weed = pot.

  27. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    August 13, 2012 at 2:11 am | #

    Wow Dana sure was fast! O.o And Sarah did look quite diferent then…

  28. Bickendan
    Bickendan
    August 13, 2012 at 2:29 am | #

    Unrelated to today’s DoA comic: I can’t access shortpacked.com — I get a “You are banned.” message. Uh… o.0

    Did I troll someone? :/

    • David
      David M Willis
      August 13, 2012 at 2:50 am | #

      The ban software seemed to be on the rampage, so I’ve disabled it for now.

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        August 13, 2012 at 3:05 am | #

        It’s being very naughty, it zapped me, too. =\

    • Raen
      Raen
      August 13, 2012 at 6:10 am | #

      For the record – and I don’t want to divert things too much – did you actually ban anyone tonight, or is it safe to assume that anyone who’s just started seeing this screen is seeing it in error?

      • David
        David M Willis
        August 13, 2012 at 11:11 am | #

        I ain’t banned anyone in over a week.

        The ban plugin went nuts, so I disabled it. Seemed to have STILL gone nuts when I got up this morning, so I just whole-hog deleted it. If that doesn’t fix it, I really have no idea.

        • Bickendan
          Bickendan
          August 14, 2012 at 1:36 am | #

          Good to know that it wasn’t us but the software going Skynet on us.

  29. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    August 13, 2012 at 3:15 am | #

    Sarah went from normal-smiley to Sarah after FIVE SECONDS of Dana. 😮

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      August 13, 2012 at 9:42 am | #

      Dana must be a doosh to do that in FIVE SECONDS.
      🙁

  30. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    August 13, 2012 at 4:18 am | #

    Joyce is surprisingly level about the pot. I would expect her to have fainted or something. You know, with the clean, Christian background and all.

    • Petre Pan
      Petre Pan
      August 14, 2012 at 11:12 pm | #

      Psh some Christians don’t really think weed should be illegal.
      I’m serious. Some hardcore, Bible-reading, if-you-don’t-know-Jesus-you’re-going-to-hell Christians really don’t care all that much about weed. Because it’s not what’s illegal that matters. It’s what can control you and keep you away from God. (Example “Do not get drunk with wine BECAUSE it leads to debauchery, and instead you should be filled with the holy spirit”–the whole idea is that you shouldn’t let anything get between you and God, and when you get drunk, you’ll do things that do get between you and the spirit) So to some Christians, it depends on the individual when we’re talking about weed. Unless weed makes you do stupid things–which some people debate, actually, since it’s not actually as chemically addictive or altering as crack or heroin–and keeps you away from God, it’s just a plant. A medicinally useful plant.

      Just, ya know, breaking stereotypes here.

  31. Originalslugboy
    Originalslugboy
    August 13, 2012 at 4:43 am | #

    …aaaaaaand now I’m suddenly reading Joyce in Starfire’s voice. I wonder if I’ll be able to unhear that?

    • Resne
      Resne
      August 13, 2012 at 5:20 am | #

      Hello! I am Joyce, and I am pleased to be attending this institution of higher learning!

    • ADHadh
      ADHadh
      August 13, 2012 at 5:29 am | #

      I didn’t do it before, but I might now. Strangely fitting.
      I hope Sarah is not voiced by Kali Troy.

      • ADHadh
        ADHadh
        August 13, 2012 at 5:30 am | #

        Aaaand I’m Sal now. I don’t know if my previous excited comments about Sal are more or less creepy compared to posting them originally with Walky.

        • Resne
          Resne
          August 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm | #

          Maybe a little depressing, but less creepy.

  32. lightsabermario
    lightsabermario
    August 13, 2012 at 6:00 am | #

    No spoilers!! LA LA LA LA LA IM NOT LISTENING LA LA LA LA LA…

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      August 13, 2012 at 9:44 am | #

      BLINK BLINK BLINK I’M NOT LOOKING BLINK BLINK BLINK…..

  33. Bri
    Bri
    August 13, 2012 at 8:46 am | #

    Sarah looks so young and happy and uncorrupted by the world. 🙁

  34. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    August 13, 2012 at 9:17 am | #

    thanks a lot Joyce!

  35. LuckyStar7
    LuckyStar7
    August 13, 2012 at 9:45 am | #

    Concerned Joyce is concerned.

  36. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    August 13, 2012 at 9:47 am | #

    Good ol’ Joyce. Can’t get nothing past her ^^

  37. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    August 13, 2012 at 10:52 am | #

    I love Dana’s new design.

  38. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    August 13, 2012 at 11:05 am | #

    I was going to ask if Dana was in the Walkyverse, but I found her there. http://www.itswalky.com/d/19971027.html

    Wonder when/if Carl will appear?

  39. thomas0comer
    thomas0comer
    August 13, 2012 at 12:22 pm | #

    I think this is the first time I’ve seen a flashback in blue.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      August 14, 2012 at 7:33 am | #

      Most people flashback in sepia, but Sarah is such a downer she flashes back in blue

  40. the canvashat
    the canvashat
    August 13, 2012 at 7:35 pm | #

    Dangit! Next thing you know, it’ll be Earth all along , won’t it?

  41. Noel Schornhorst
    Noel Schornhorst
    August 13, 2012 at 8:24 pm | #

    What’s in the box, Dana?! What’s in the boooooooooooooooooooox?!!

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      August 14, 2012 at 12:00 am | #

      It could even be a boat!

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