Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 11, 2026

Kiss

by David M Willis on October 9, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 06 - Strange Beerfellows
└ Tags: amber, blackarachnia, dina, silverbolt, transformers

Discussion (126) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    October 9, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    *enter Lucy*

    • otusasio451
      otusasio451
      October 9, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

      Well, at least Amber wasn’t changed from a role model to young girls to a scantily-clad, completely lust-driven woman who knows not the meaning of true love. There is that.

      • Ancestral Hamster
        Ancestral Hamster
        October 9, 2012 at 1:54 am | #

        Re: “scantily-clad, completely lust-driven woman who knows not the meaning of true love.” You say that like it is a bad thing. 😛

        • taekwondogirl
          taekwondogirl
          October 9, 2012 at 9:37 am | #

          -_-

      • Tan
        Tan
        October 9, 2012 at 2:05 am | #

        Starfire?

        Yeah. I feel ya. *brofist*

        • Winterfeline
          Winterfeline
          October 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm | #

          I don’t really follow the comics much but I came across the artwork of her before and heard of her from a friend who was fan of those comics, and then what she got turned into. I couldn’t help but sigh and shake my head sadly at the changes.

      • Andiemus
        Andiemus
        October 9, 2012 at 6:05 pm | #

        Literally none of those necessarily means she’s a bad role model. A person can simultaneously be scantily-clad and morally upright, not matter what Joyce might say otherwise. I have no idea what specifically you’re referring to, but based on your words…

        • CommentSpawn
          CommentSpawn
          October 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm | #

          They’re referring to the DC character Starfire. I haven’t read the relevant series, but from my understanding, the objection to her (and similar characters) is when “completely lust-driven woman who knows not the meaning of true love” is her entire personality, and when she’s scantily-clad in a blatant attempt to appeal to presumed male heterosexual readers rather than for any story reason.

        • Tan
          Tan
          October 10, 2012 at 4:47 pm | #

          http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/04-remedial-adulthood/math/ may help

          • Witch [Soul] of Heart
            Witch [Soul] of Heart
            January 31, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

            Thank you, that totally helped. I was lost for a moment there.
            *whispers* BEAST BOY WAS THE BEST.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        November 13, 2012 at 8:03 pm | #

        You do know that her costume has always been revealing right? The real problem is that they’re only concerned about what male readers want…not what Starfire wants. You could say that about most female superheroes…a lot of writers are jerks like that.

        • Rachel Roth
          Rachel Roth
          August 5, 2014 at 7:53 pm | #

          No, there was one point where Starfire was in a costume resembling a jumpsuit. I don’t think that lasted long though. (Also, why was that name not yet in my dictionary? I can spell it, and I’m usually reliant on auto correct for even spelling auto correct!

      • Cory
        Cory
        April 13, 2015 at 9:58 pm | #

        Obviously this is years late but starfire was always a scantily clad liberated character, she was changed for the TEEN TITANS cartoon not the other way around.

    • Witch [Soul] of Heart
      Witch [Soul] of Heart
      January 31, 2014 at 1:29 am | #

      Y’mean Jade Harley?

  2. Ben
    Ben
    October 9, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Now Kiss <3

    • Bugberry
      Bugberry
      October 9, 2012 at 7:29 am | #

      double points for the matching icon.

    • Resne
      Resne
      October 9, 2012 at 8:52 pm | #

      Now fuck <3

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      October 10, 2012 at 3:05 am | #

      Amber’s basically just Joe.

      • TheClipper
        TheClipper
        October 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm | #

        Except she probably sleeps with less people.

  3. Gundi
    Gundi
    October 9, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh Amber, that’s basically most people these days.

  4. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    October 9, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    I see we’re taking the “New 52” approach to Amber’s origin story.

    • ShadowWing Tronix
      ShadowWing Tronix
      October 9, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

      No, this doesn’t suck rotten eggs.

      • otusasio451
        otusasio451
        October 9, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

        Now, now, not all of the revamped origins were terrible. For example, there’s…there’s…oh, right, there’s…uhhhhhhhh…

        • ThatRobedGuy
          ThatRobedGuy
          October 9, 2012 at 1:15 am | #

          Batgirl’s awesome. Just saying.

          • GoldStarz
            GoldStarz
            October 9, 2012 at 6:39 pm | #

            Ugh, no. Batgirl is one of the worst offenders of the New 52 in general.

    • Ben
      Ben
      October 9, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

      Not entirely. I see no slutty clothing on this Amber

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        October 9, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

        Seeing slutty clothing on people would be a great superpower.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          October 9, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

          I get superpowers every Halloween!

        • otusasio451
          otusasio451
          October 9, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

          It’s called Balantism. An accompanying disease is Liefeldism, where you see women’s spines defying the laws of physics, men with highly exaggerated musculature, angry faces, and terrible hair, and gigantic shoudler pads on EVERYONE.

      • Kurai Seraphim
        Kurai Seraphim
        October 9, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

        You’re clearly not wearing your Faz-o-Vision Goggles. Here, let Faz apply them to your eyes for you so that you can better take in the beauty of the one who will bear Faz’s many glorious and Faz-like children should this continuity gift Faz with a divergent yet still fantastical in all ways genetic ancestry.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          October 9, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

          This Faz is most likely not related to Amber so our Fazlings will be completely sanctimonious under God, who loves Faz slightly more than others.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          October 9, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

          You say that like it was the incest that stopped Faz. He /apologized/ to Wen for burning that thing, remember? Oh, no. He forgave her for NOT TELLING HIM ABOUT THEIR DAD. *Shudders*

          That said, perfectly in-character in all other ways. Were you checking ibuyextradomainscuzihavenopenis.com beforehand to get that extra level of Fazzyness, or are you just naturally gifted with the voice of Faz?

          Either way, I’m gonna back away from you now. Faz is contagious.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            October 9, 2012 at 1:50 am | #

            Just because he still fucked the pillow doesn’t mean he was pursuing her in real life.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        November 13, 2012 at 8:07 pm | #

        Don’t call it “slutty”. And it’s fiction…of course everything wouldn’t be realistic. Someone with super-strength would break their own arm in real life.

  5. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    October 9, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    She carries her Beast Wars toys around with her, just in case she wants to make them kiss? That’s adorable.

    • Sir Robin
      Sir Robin
      October 9, 2012 at 8:18 am | #

      You don’t?

      • AngryBamboo
        AngryBamboo
        October 9, 2012 at 10:51 am | #

        I know what the tags say, but im looking at the color scheme just seems like that toy is tarantulas. Silverbolt/tarantulas OTP

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      October 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm | #

      Well, it’s a good thing I read the tags below the comic, because I was wondering why she had Tarantulus and Waspinator kiss.

      • ZORK
        ZORK
        February 23, 2014 at 7:57 pm | #

        I thought it’s Waspinator and Rampage, for some weird reason.

  6. Aizat
    Aizat
    October 9, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    Hey, I was raised by TV and mangas when I was growing up. We only get the internet when I was 15.

  7. DanielleM
    DanielleM
    October 9, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    So apparently Blaine is still kind of a dick in this universe because he apparently walked out on Amber as a kid but he’s less of a dick than he was in the Shortpacked influence because at least he didn’t stick around and inflict his toxic influence on her?

    • Volkai
      Volkai
      October 9, 2012 at 8:37 am | #

      Looks like it.

  8. jrgolden42
    jrgolden42
    October 9, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    So Amber just carries around a Silverbolt and Blackarachnia at all times for funsies? I am ok with this

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 9, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

      I approve of this.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        October 9, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

        She’s a robosexual.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          October 9, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

          Hey, at least she’s not hobosexual. Unless the hobo in question is Phoenix Wright.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            October 9, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

            or a Pogosexual. That’s not the intended use for those sticks.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              October 9, 2012 at 12:45 am | #

              Or Hemosexual. Whatever it is that you think, blood does not make it sexy.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                October 9, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

                Or Todosexual. As much as you like The Wizard of Oz…that’s creepy.

                • Izzy
                  Izzy
                  October 9, 2012 at 2:15 am | #

                  Or rotosexual…just no

                • N0083rP00F
                  N0083rP00F
                  October 10, 2012 at 12:37 pm | #

                  Whats wrong with getting excited over farm implements?
                  Wait, you don’t mean … ewww …. how … isn’t that dangerous …. *backs away*

  9. Kurai Seraphim
    Kurai Seraphim
    October 9, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    I like to think the Beast Wars toys came with the muffin and that they go to the BEST COLLEGE EVER.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 9, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

      It’s like Mcdonald’s toys for nerds…and college kids.

    • lightsabermario
      lightsabermario
      October 9, 2012 at 9:29 pm | #

      If there was a college like that, you could be damned sure Joe would be going to it. Hell, he’d probably have founded it.

  10. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    October 9, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    If there’s two transformers who can transform into ships whom you ship do you still call it shipping?

    • Nearphotison
      Nearphotison
      October 9, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

      Yo, dawg, I heard you like shipping…

      • Izzy
        Izzy
        October 9, 2012 at 2:16 am | #

        You heard correctly, my dear man.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      October 9, 2012 at 10:41 am | #

      Yes, the people who deliver those transformers to your local store still call it shipping. And nobody ships transformers together like those guys do. Forget OTP; these guys ship transformers together in groups of twenty!

      • turkishproverb
        turkishproverb
        October 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm | #

        Oh MY!

        • Raiser
          Raiser
          October 9, 2012 at 6:48 pm | #

          And don’t forget the ones that deliver them from overseas! They ship so many you need a giant cargo boat to fit ’em all!

  11. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    October 9, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    I was raised on TV and libary books, the only reason I wasn’t raised on the internets was cos it didn’t exist yet.

    • DanielleM
      DanielleM
      October 9, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

      Yep and then the internet showed up when I was about 11 and then by age 13 it was all Buffy fanfic all the time.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 9, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

      As stated before, I was raised by TV(where I learn how to speak English), books and mangas(specifically, Dragon Ball, Dragon Quest and Fist of the North Star)

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 9, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

        I was raised by cartoons, sprite comics, Sonic the Hedgehog and Kirby. But not literally…that’d be kick ass.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          October 9, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

          That’s how I’m going to raise my kid, by watching TV with him and introducing him to the awesomeness that is Dragon Ball. Yes, I am a Dragon Ball fanboy.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            October 9, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

            I’m gonna raise my kid on the edge of a cliff towering over hundreds of African Animals who will bow when they realize indeed, my son, is the heir to become the king of beasts.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              October 9, 2012 at 12:44 am | #

              Whatever you do, don’t let your kid near your brother, especially if he has a scar or he sounds like Jeremy Irons.

              • Andrusi
                Andrusi
                October 9, 2012 at 8:52 am | #

                If I had a kid who sounded like Jeremy Irons, I’d pretty much show him off to everyone I met.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            October 9, 2012 at 3:06 pm | #

            I enjoyed the first few seasons, then it started to get silly. When it took four episodes to finish powering up, I stopped watching.

            • Andiemus
              Andiemus
              October 9, 2012 at 6:08 pm | #

              GT man. Filler’s been cut, episodes condensed, more action for less constipation.

              • Azencar
                Azencar
                October 9, 2012 at 8:47 pm | #

                You’re thinking of Dragon Ball Z Kai. Trust me, do NOT watch GT, it is TERRIBLE.

  12. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    October 9, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    At least her shitty dad wasn’t there to emotionally abuse her.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 9, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

      Who’s saying he isn’t?

      • Shade
        Shade
        October 9, 2012 at 4:22 am | #

        No one said isn’t, Viv said wasn’t as in her childhood.

  13. katercanter
    katercanter
    October 9, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

    “I’m much better at hiding it” Amber said, returning her Transformers back to her pockets where she kept them at all times.

  14. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 9, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

    I don’t believe you’re good at hiding things if you subconciousely do it in public places.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      October 9, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      Unless you’re doing it in your head like I do.

  15. GenericScreenName101
    GenericScreenName101
    October 9, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    Now you just know that Blackarachnia is just gonna dump Silverbolt for some Korean transformer as soon as they have a lil’transformer of their own…uh, I mean, awwww, Amber, I am sorry to hear that

  16. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    October 9, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

    “I was a pretty different person growing up” can be taken so many ways.

    It can be taken as being different from here peers.

    And it can be taken in the way the fandom will inevitably take it.

  17. Globen
    Globen
    October 9, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

    I feel like Armada toys would make this a lot more plausible.

    But that’s me.

    • David
      David M Willis
      October 9, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

      Beast Wars ran on Fox Kids when Amber was 6.

      • Globen
        Globen
        October 9, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

        Hey, I’m just going by personal experiences: there’s fan girls out there who had Beast Wars as their gateway, but I never saw them as much as I saw Armada fan girls.

        Also I hope you’re not implying she’s six in that flashback: I’m assuming you’re not. If you’re going to discover the marvelous world of robot kissing, I could see between ages 10-14, but six is pushing it.

        • AY
          AY
          October 9, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

          Six is pushing what, exactly? Six year olds know what kissing is, robot-related or not.

          • Globen
            Globen
            October 9, 2012 at 12:47 am | #

            I’m just going by my personal experience with fan girls: granted, there’s always going to be unique cases, I guess, but Amber isn’t exactly what I’ve seen from any fan girl I’ve known: one fan girl of Nos4-A2 from Buzz Lightyear discovered him when she was ten, and that’s the youngest case I know.

            Just seems like six is a little early to have the experience that’s going to make you a nerd for the rest of your life, but that is, once again, just me. The day I meet or hear of someone who had one at that age, author excluded, i guess, I will eat crow quite happily.

            • Doctor_Who
              Doctor_Who
              October 9, 2012 at 12:53 am | #

              Oh, and when I was six, my local PBS station started airing episodes of Doctor Who right before Reading Rainbow. I made a fort of couch cushions and declared it to be my Tardis, called my dog K-9 for a month, and asked my mom to please get me some Jelly Babies, whatever those were.

              Almost 22 years later I have this as my username and gravatar. Never got to try a Jelly Baby until adulthood, though. They don’t sell them ’round here.

              • Globen
                Globen
                October 9, 2012 at 12:57 am | #

                I kind of wish PBS aired Dr.Who here, but alas.

                Still, I’m glad I don’t care for the same things I did when I was six, or I’d still be obsessed with He-Man and Thundercats. No thank you.

                • Globen
                  Globen
                  October 9, 2012 at 1:03 am | #

                  And when I was eight? The Super Mario Bros. Super Show.

                  I was a pretty dumb kid.

                  Thanks for saving many tastes, Batman: TAS! But more Beast Wars and Frekazoid, really.

                • SonicBlueRanger
                  SonicBlueRanger
                  October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am | #

                  Hey Super Mario Bros. Super Show was awesome. In an extremely cheesy goofy way.

                  But I like Power Rangers and Sonic so what do I know.

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  October 9, 2012 at 3:12 pm | #

                  I agree, for me it was Blackstar, and before that, thunderbirds and Ultraman. What? I lived in remote Alberta and we didn’t have cable, were were at the mercy of CBC and CTV, that’s where I developed my hatred of the old Hercules, Spiderman and Rocket Robin Hood cartoons.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            October 9, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

            Six is pushing it because, well, take a look at that picture of her. She possesses certain “endowments” that a sic year old lacks.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              October 9, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

              She matures early?

            • David
              David M Willis
              October 9, 2012 at 9:34 am | #

              She’s not six in the flashback. She’s 13.

              • Globen
                Globen
                October 9, 2012 at 9:55 am | #

                Just the right age to own the Rhino DVDs then, if my math is right.

                • David
                  David M Willis
                  October 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm | #

                  Yup.

                  Of course, as time marches on and Amber doesn’t age, there’s always Netflix.

          • taekwondogirl
            taekwondogirl
            October 9, 2012 at 9:40 am | #

            I’d say 6 is pushing it because of boobs.

        • Globen
          Globen
          October 9, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

          But, again, that’s just me.

        • Globen
          Globen
          October 9, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

          I should note said people I know who had Beast Wars as their gateway are all in their late 20s at the earliest. Like Wayward, for instance.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        October 9, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

        You make me feel old, Willis.

        /28 in less than a week, goddamnit
        //Watched BW throughout Jr. High

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          October 9, 2012 at 10:45 am | #

          Get off my lawn – I watched G1.

          (36)

          • SonicBlueRanger
            SonicBlueRanger
            October 9, 2012 at 11:35 am | #

            Beast Wars technically is G1.

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              October 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm | #

              That’s debatable. It doesn’t help that there are several different mutually incompatible versions of G1 (though I was clearly referring to the cartoon), and Beast Wars is merely broad-strokes compatible with all of them somewhat. (Considerably lesssomewhat if you consider Beast Machines to be in-continuity with Beast Wars; BM is *not* compatible with G1 – certainly not the cartoon, and I think not any version.)

              • begbert2
                begbert2
                October 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm | #

                Huh. Imagine that there’s a space between “less” and “somewhat, and that the italics stops there.

  18. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    October 9, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

    I had no problem interacting with other people in school: I didn’t.

    • Tristan J
      Tristan J
      October 9, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

      I remember when I started high school, and I sat alone (usually reading) on a bench during lunch and recess. One day one of the teachers came over and basically forced me into a random group of people who I had to hang out with for that lunch.

      Later that day I discovered there was a public library on school grounds, so this story has a happy ending.

  19. Aizat
    Aizat
    October 9, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

    Is it just me or does Amber in panel 3 looks adorable?

  20. Jesse
    Jesse
    October 9, 2012 at 12:39 am | #

    I was just about to ask why Blackarachnia looks like Tarantulus, but apparently the toy was actually like that. Huh.

  21. Jetstream
    Jetstream
    October 9, 2012 at 12:40 am | #

    The more things change…

  22. Melizza
    Melizza
    October 9, 2012 at 1:48 am | #

    I was raised by wolves….arf arf

  23. brasca1
    brasca1
    October 9, 2012 at 3:00 am | #

    Aside from her glasses she looks like she did in Shortpacked when she was first introduced.

  24. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    October 9, 2012 at 8:21 am | #

    This is awesome, it wasn’t that long ago I was wondering if we’d ever see old Amber in a flashback in DOA

  25. Cybersnark
    Cybersnark
    October 9, 2012 at 8:30 am | #

    Clearly, Amber needs to introduce Dina to Dinobot.

  26. Jackson
    Jackson
    October 9, 2012 at 9:02 am | #

    It amuses me that individual Transformers figures get their own character tags.

    • Charles RB
      Charles RB
      October 9, 2012 at 10:21 am | #

      I’m glad for those tags, I thought that was Waspinator and Tarantulas she was snogging

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        October 9, 2012 at 10:48 am | #

        Given how shipping works, entirely plausible.

      • Bill M.
        Bill M.
        October 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm | #

        Oh, thank goodness I’m not the only one…

  27. SonicBlueRanger
    SonicBlueRanger
    October 9, 2012 at 11:37 am | #

    You Know what’s great I’m going on 22 and I didn’t watch Beast Wars until Shout! Factory released season 1 on DVD.

  28. Aeron
    Aeron
    October 9, 2012 at 11:38 am | #

    Does Amber appear thinner in general in DoA to anyone else?

  29. Ray
    Ray
    October 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm | #

    That’s what maturity means. Being able to hide it.

    After watching Big Bang Theory for a few years I finally realized that I was pretty much Sheldon as a kid, perhaps through high school as well. Eventually I learned to fake social interaction when necessary, and to at least not disdain it the rest of the time. Not out loud, anyway.

  30. Scout
    Scout
    October 9, 2012 at 7:45 pm | #

    <3 for the old hairstyle :3

  31. kyojikasshu
    kyojikasshu
    October 9, 2012 at 8:37 pm | #

    David, did you just forget to downsize the comic today? It looks choppy from being downscaled from its native 4800×1600 (which I found by right-clicking the comic and selecting “View Image”).

    • David
      David M Willis
      October 9, 2012 at 11:05 pm | #

      I downsized the comic about 22 hours ago. Your cache is weird!

      • kyojikasshu
        kyojikasshu
        October 10, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

        Guess I needed to empty it out anyway… but yeah, once that’s done, it’s as it should be.

  32. Phil
    Phil
    October 15, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

    It’s an odd combination of pride and shame that, from my google reader, with no knowledge of the tags, I was able to identify Silverbolt and Black Arachnia in panel 3. Now Kiss.

  33. Tyrex
    Tyrex
    April 8, 2013 at 2:25 am | #

    Tarantulas and Waspinator?

  34. Dhraakellian
    Dhraakellian
    February 11, 2014 at 1:02 pm | #

    How little? How old was she during the Gas Station Incident?

  35. B.D
    B.D
    March 20, 2015 at 5:19 pm | #

    I like that she has her original Shortpacked! hair in the flashback. Little things like that are what make this comic.

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