Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

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google tells me someone already used this wordplay, but i went with it anyway - oh no, joyce's dumb joke isn't entirely new
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July 9, 2026

Guilty

by David M Willis on May 27, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Answers in Hennessy

└ Tags: dorothy, joyce

Discussion (86) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    May 27, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    In the food… COURT??

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 27, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Have a JUDGE-mint!

      • DrunkenGator
        DrunkenGator
        May 27, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

        Hey now. I demand ORDER in the Court!

        …by the way, don’t eat the fish.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 27, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

          Yeah. The CARPe Diem is a little raw.

          • Wonder Wig
            Wonder Wig
            May 27, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

            Keep your hands away from her while she’s eating because Miranda BITES.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              May 27, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

              Yeah. So BAILIFF you see her coming.

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                May 27, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

                Well, I WITNESS the meaning of the joke.

                • TheBenenator
                  TheBenenator
                  May 27, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

                  OBJECTION! Too many puns!

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  May 27, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

                  OVERRULED! You can never have too many puns.

                • MichaelHaneline
                  MichaelHaneline
                  May 27, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

                  While you guys are wasting times making puns, I’m going to go get a slice of that 3-lawyer chocolate cake.

                • NobodySpecial
                  NobodySpecial
                  May 27, 2013 at 2:01 am | #

                  Joyce is just trying to avoid telling Dorothy that she has the body.

                • Wonder Wig
                  Wonder Wig
                  May 27, 2013 at 2:19 am | #

                  I was once a SUE chef at the food court.

                • Chronos
                  Chronos
                  May 27, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

                  You’re all under arrest for a SALT with a deadly weapon.

                • Neospector
                  Neospector
                  May 27, 2013 at 9:33 am | #

                  I think I’ll just order some Habeas CREPES.

                • DrunkenGator
                  DrunkenGator
                  May 27, 2013 at 1:51 pm | #

                  I think all this talk WARRANTs a slice of cherry pie with those crepes.

                  …what?

                • Andiemus
                  Andiemus
                  May 27, 2013 at 3:24 pm | #

                  I submit my brief Amicus Culinae.

        • Sy
          Sy
          October 18, 2013 at 6:40 am | #

          YES! I REALIZE this is a late response, I only just started reading this comic, but YES!

          Also I hope your stepson doesn’t eat the fish… hell I hope you don’t end up in a situation where you get step children but time’s rearrangin, changin you and me…

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 27, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Or at the BAR?

  2. Khantalas
    Khantalas
    May 27, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    That was horrible and I feel horrible for laughing at it.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 27, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      I live for puns like this!

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 27, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Joyce, if it wasn’t for the fact you don’t HAVE a job, I would suggest that you keep it.

    • Viredae
      Viredae
      May 27, 2013 at 1:54 am | #

      What if her job was a professional pun… sayer, thingy?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 27, 2013 at 5:22 am | #

        You can get paid to pun? I feel bad for doing it for free now. 😛

        • Robin
          Robin
          May 27, 2013 at 9:56 am | #

          “If you’re good at something, never do it for free”. The Joker is a smart guy, we should probably listen to him.

          • Pseudowolf
            Pseudowolf
            May 27, 2013 at 12:28 pm | #

            Unless he wants to show you a magic trick.

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            May 27, 2013 at 5:20 pm | #

            Hopefully the job would have a good …. punsion.

      • Thasvaddef
        Thasvaddef
        May 27, 2013 at 10:32 am | #

        Punslinger

  4. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    May 27, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Everybody on three. 1, 2, 3…

    *Collective groan*

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 27, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      UUUUUURG!

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 27, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

        RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          May 27, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

          *quickly changes gravatars*

          RARGLE BLARGLE!!!

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            May 27, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

            A Grim Adventures reference? Damn, I old.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              May 27, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

              Not really. That show was only on 10 ye-
              oh god… no!!!

        • Hoboturtle
          Hoboturtle
          May 27, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

          AW! Somebody help me!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 27, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      Why? Sounds like a joke I would do….though I always joke about the “order” bit.

  5. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    May 27, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Excellent deflection by Joyce, but how long can she keep it up and still maintain her relationship with Dorothy.

  6. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    May 27, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Is it a bad sign that I actually found this pretty funny?

    • BlueRam
      BlueRam
      May 27, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Of course not. Puns are the HEIGHT of comedic wit!

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 27, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        My Jokebook DON’T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT PUNS, HON.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          May 27, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

          Then allow me to show you the current thread over at SP!

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 27, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        It could only have been better if the last panel had been her farting.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 27, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          And then slips on a banana peel.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            May 27, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

            Or stepped on a rake.

        • Izzy
          Izzy
          May 27, 2013 at 2:39 am | #

          Jeph, where are you?! You need to make this comic better!

    • captainswift
      captainswift
      May 27, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Not at all. It was a groaner, but it was a magnificent groaner, and worthy of our admiration.

      • Erika Hammerschmidt
        Erika Hammerschmidt
        May 28, 2013 at 10:22 pm | #

        Indeed. It’s sad that she’s feeling guilty about how bad the pun was. (Or pretending to.)

        Or was it a multiple joke, including a reference to the “you look guilty” accusation?

  7. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 27, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Joyce is becoming gay. One second with Dorothy and she’s already thinking about J’cuzzis.

  8. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    May 27, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

    OMG. Joyce made a joke.

    • Chronos
      Chronos
      May 27, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

      That is one of the signs of the upcoming apocalypse. That or a sign that Joyce’s beginning to loosen up a bit. Whichever.

  9. Sporky
    Sporky
    May 27, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    That may be the cutest joke I’ve heard.

    I don’t even know about funny necessarily, just really cute.

  10. LOOK OUT!
    LOOK OUT!
    May 27, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

    I dont get it.

    • LOOK OUT!
      LOOK OUT!
      May 27, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      Now I get it!

      (if other people are dumb like me, the key is the plaintiff being considered the accused, or accusee)

      • sun tzu
        sun tzu
        May 27, 2013 at 3:57 am | #

        Actually, it’s even more specific. “J’accuse” (literally “I accuse” in French) is a super-famous historical quote that gets thrown around, ever since Emile Zola used it as a title for his open letter. (Specifically, an open letter where he called all the guilty parties of the Dreyfuss Affair on their crap.)

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          May 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm | #

          Also, it’s fun to say.

          • Narf
            Narf
            June 9, 2013 at 5:49 pm | #

            J’ACCUSE!

            (you’re totally right!)

  11. Aizat
    Aizat
    May 27, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

    I think Dorothy just walked into that one.

  12. MarcinMN
    MarcinMN
    May 27, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

    And there’s that eyebrow thing Danny was talking about…

  13. Static Air
    Static Air
    May 27, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

    I didn’t know Joyce knew French.

  14. Lu86
    Lu86
    May 27, 2013 at 1:32 am | #

    …Yeah sorry, I have no idea what’s going on.

    • Icalasari
      Icalasari
      May 27, 2013 at 1:57 am | #

      Accuse

      Jacuzzi

    • |Agent
      |Agent
      May 27, 2013 at 2:35 am | #

      You know Phoenix Wright’s “OBJECTION!”? Well, the French have “J’ACCUSE!” which “I accuse YOU!”

      And the plaintiff is the one accusing the defendant, so, Bob’s yer uncle.

      • Lu86
        Lu86
        May 28, 2013 at 11:45 pm | #

        Ok. Yeah I get it now, ty. I guess explaining a joke IS like dissecting a frog.

  15. Dierna
    Dierna
    May 27, 2013 at 2:35 am | #

    Oh Joyce. You so punny. 😛

  16. Ryune
    Ryune
    May 27, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

    A++++++ joke, will steal again.

  17. Barf Ninjason
    Barf Ninjason
    May 27, 2013 at 2:52 am | #

    I hope this doesn’t make Joyce late for her dentist appointment at TOOTH HURTY.

  18. JA
    JA
    May 27, 2013 at 3:04 am | #

    Seems Claire’s bad puns from QC have also infected DoA.

  19. Henry
    Henry
    May 27, 2013 at 5:22 am | #

    Joyce, that was terrible, and you should feel terrible.

  20. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    May 27, 2013 at 5:24 am | #

    What do you call a dessert on a cracker? Pudding on the Ritz.
    In attempting to think up an example of generic dumb wordplay, I came up with that, Googled it, and found it’s been on the Simpsons. I feel that proves something.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 27, 2013 at 7:24 am | #

      What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the law?

      A small medium at large!

      • eerilychildish
        eerilychildish
        May 27, 2013 at 10:57 am | #

        Midget is not the preferred nomenclature. “Little person”, please.

        • Me
          Me
          May 27, 2013 at 2:17 pm | #

          Yep, correct gravatar.

  21. Buckybone
    Buckybone
    May 27, 2013 at 6:35 am | #

    ITT: A lot of people who need a trip to the boobox.

  22. Alexis
    Alexis
    May 27, 2013 at 12:39 pm | #

    Looks like Dorothy got pun-ted out of *that* conversation.

  23. JBO
    JBO
    May 27, 2013 at 12:39 pm | #

    What I am wondering: Is Joyce feeling guitly because she understands she is doing something that is wrong, or does she just feel guilty because she knows she does something that DORTOTHY would consider wrong? Unfortunately I think the latter is the right answer.

  24. Anon
    Anon
    May 27, 2013 at 12:48 pm | #

    So I was reading the comments under today’s update for Gunnerkrigg Court when a particular one jumped out at me:

    “YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Tom Siddell, the Anti-Willis, making you feel all good, all the time, except sometimes not, but definitely right now.”

    Tom Siddell is the creator of Gunnerkrigg, but I found the comment funny because it’s obviously from a Walkyverse fan that gets heartbroken every time Willis pulls one of his unpredictable twists (i.e. all the time)

  25. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    May 27, 2013 at 1:18 pm | #

    -Phoenix Wright pose- Objection!!

    Also, I like how Dorothy is intently reading Joyce’s word bubbles to try and figure out what’s going on.

  26. Steve
    Steve
    May 27, 2013 at 1:57 pm | #

    I am totally stealing that joke. Oh and Ethan and Joyce aren’t doing anything wrong at all. I think they’re going to help each other a lot getting to where they need to be emotionally…

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 27, 2013 at 9:37 pm | #

      If they were just pretending to be a couple until Ethan feels comfortable with his identity and his social position, that would be fine, but that’s not the case. She’s trying to help him become straight, and he’s trying to be straight. And that’s not good for either of them, because it keeps her from pursuing a more fulfilling, mutual relationship, and it keeps him from learning to accept who he is.

      • Wazza
        Wazza
        May 28, 2013 at 11:20 am | #

        realising that will help him…

        it should also be noted that relationships can occasionally transcend attraction, too, if you form a close enough attachment. My partner’s a lesbian and we make it work.

  27. Em
    Em
    May 27, 2013 at 2:01 pm | #

    I wonder if she’s going to tell Dorothy, or if she’s just going to be shitting her pants whenever she hangs out with her. If she DOES tell Dorothy…well…hopefully she breaks up with Ethan, and then somebody tells Ethan to figure out if there’s a GSA or something at the school where he can feel awesome about himself and meet some cute boys.

  28. Em
    Em
    May 27, 2013 at 2:04 pm | #

    Steve: Personally, I think it’s best to find a relationship where all feelings are mutual. Ethan might enjoy having Joyce as his beard, and Joyce will for sure enjoy being it. But Ethan will never truly reciprocate Joyce’s feelings. And that’s where a lot of the problems will spawn from.

    • Steve
      Steve
      May 29, 2013 at 6:49 am | #

      The way I see it helping is through their mutual dissatisfaction and them being honest and good enough friends to talk it out. I’ve had questions about Joyce’s sexuality since her reaction to meeting Sal personally and that HS friend does look like a pro golfer…

  29. Andrea
    Andrea
    May 27, 2013 at 4:41 pm | #

    I wonder when Ethan’s going to realize that, if he’s willing to date a Christian, this significantly expands his pool of datable men? (IIRC, this whole thing spawned largely after Ethan decided it would be too hard to find a guy who’s gay AND Jewish AND nerdy, because those are all such slim-seeming populations.)

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 27, 2013 at 9:33 pm | #

      If he’s willing to date a muslim or atheist that extends it even further. But the notion that Ethan’s situational difficulties are almost entirely within his own head is not a new one.

  30. Kevin
    Kevin
    June 1, 2013 at 6:01 pm | #

    DoA continues to demonstrate the highest pun density per comic discussion ever observed by science, leading experts to grudgingly admit that “black holes aren’t actually all that dense after all” by comparison.

    Analysts propose the DoA Discussion Pun-Density Equation may explain the unstoppable pull Willis exerts on comic fans, although a minority in the scientific community maintains this is caused by density of Billie’s curvaceous thighs.

  31. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 14, 2015 at 7:21 pm | #

    Wow, an Emile Zola pun 😮

    I

    Am

    Impressed she even heard of him. I mean, he’s french 😮 Our guy are never known in USA (” ) (except napoleon mayhaps)

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Asking an elderly person to identify Yosemite Sam is a real dementia check question, especially if they respond with his voice actor.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
stop copying my story beats, luann!!!!!
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