Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

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oh hey it's ethan's mom seen from the front for the first time, also ethan's dad
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September 20, 2023

Mrs S

by David M Willis on August 2, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Just Hangin' Out With My Family

└ Tags: amber, naomi, saul

Discussion (331) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. AHR
    AHR
    August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Pornstache!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Meh, still couldn’t compete with Master Asia’s stache.

      • Keroshino
        Keroshino
        August 2, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        Nobody has a better “Stache” than Master Asia!!!

        • brother v
          brother v
          August 2, 2013 at 3:59 am | #

          ANSWER ME COMMENTS!

          THE SCHOOL OF THE UNDEFEATED OF THE EAST!

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 2, 2013 at 5:31 pm | #

            THE WINDS OF THE KING!

            • Keroshino
              Keroshino
              August 3, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

              ZENSHIN! KEIRETSU!

              TEMPA KYORAN!!!

      • Hobo von Lichtenstein
        Hobo von Lichtenstein
        August 2, 2013 at 2:29 am | #

        Aizat’s avatar is most appropriate. Also Ethan’s dad looks like a dude most likely to say ‘Yes dear…’ in a slightly scared apologetic tone. It’s an eyebrow thing.

        • WebComicGeek11
          WebComicGeek11
          August 2, 2013 at 4:37 pm | #

          Sounds AND looks EXACTLY like my dad… 😛

          • Mr Mercury
            Mr Mercury
            August 2, 2013 at 5:18 pm | #

            Freddie Mercury stache 😉

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      …goddammit, I just finished watching Orange is the New Black today and now I’m forever going to associate Ethan’s dad with that drug-dealing, blackmailing dickweed.

      • thecanvashat
        thecanvashat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        No, mAster Asia. From Gundam.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

          Wait, I can’t tell who’s responding to who.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 2, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

            Me neither

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 2, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Hahaha?

      • Lamachine
        Lamachine
        August 2, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

        I hadn’t noticed. Can’t get image out of my head now.

        I hate you so much.

  2. Squall
    Squall
    August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    That is a thing that is horrible to say.

    • Mr. Morningstar
      Mr. Morningstar
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      This is the place where people come to the place to learn about the place of education.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        Well, there’s a line between uneducated and stupidity.

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 2, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

          That is a sentence that is enlightening.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 2, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

            Unfortunately, some if not most people mistakes one for the other.

            • Farmer_10
              Farmer_10
              August 2, 2013 at 8:08 pm | #

              I do not approve of Ethan’s Mothers comments. And her hair is ugly. I don’t like to go there but she asked for it.

              • MacDiver
                MacDiver
                August 3, 2013 at 2:07 pm | #

                I am sure her hair smells terrible, as well. She is also only a brunette due to where her head is stuck.

        • TPman
          TPman
          August 2, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

          There are uneducated people and there are stupid people. And then there’s people who are perfectly intelligent but their better judgement, and insist on holding backwards beliefs anyways.

          • Neospector
            Neospector
            August 2, 2013 at 7:02 pm | #

            So, that makes four types of people:
            Educated, Uneducated, Stupid, and The Internet. Six if you count 4chan and 9gag as their own kind of stupid.

            • Flushmaster
              Flushmaster
              August 2, 2013 at 11:49 pm | #

              I agree with and endorse this neat and succinct summary of the categories of human knowledge and awareness.

        • Mr. Morningstar
          Mr. Morningstar
          August 3, 2013 at 3:31 am | #

          Wow mean :C

          I just said that because the comment reminded me of the Kraang from the new teenage mutant ninja turtles.

      • otusasio451
        otusasio451
        August 2, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

        We, the Krang, must destroy those who are known as the Turtles.

        • Groove
          Groove
          August 2, 2013 at 3:43 am | #

          The ones known as the turtles are in the place which is the place where we will be destroying them in that place.

          I love the Krang so much in the new show.

        • Makkabee
          Makkabee
          August 2, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

          The Krang hate “Happy Together” that much?

          If you don’t like bubblegum pop, just turn off your radio.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      That is a horrible person you mean. Seriously I think I hate her more than Joyce’s mom.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Yes. That was the point of what I said, but I was being playful and said it in the way Amber was talking.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 2, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

        Joyce’s mom is ignorant, sure, but she seems to mean well (even if her actions have the opposite result). Meanwhile, Mrs. Siegal is just plain nasty.

        Mrs. Brown is much better than Mrs. Siegal.

        As for who’s the worst, it’s between the Siegals and the Wilcoxes right now.

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          August 2, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

          Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Joyce’s mom due to the hatefulness of her ignorance, but both Danny and Ethan’s parents are objectively worse as parents.

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            August 2, 2013 at 12:51 pm | #

            Joyce’s mom strikes me as more the fearful sort of ignorance rather than the hateful sort, though. She’s…actually a lot like Joyce, to be honest.

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          August 2, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

          I’m not sure I entirely agree. Both the Browns and the Siegals have a terrible world view, but I find it hard to believe that Mrs. Siegal doesn’t mean well, too. She’s ignorant about what homosexuality is i.e. thinks it just ‘happens’, thinks it’s a bad (possibly evil) thing, etc. I think the only saving grace for Mrs. Brown was “Oh I trust your judgment”, but she then followed it up with conditions for watching a TV show to not be a heinous act. I wouldn’t doubt that, if Mrs. Brown decided Dexter and Monkey Master wasn’t a pious show, she’d freak out on Joyce and probably blame Walky or Dorothy (especially Dorothy the Atheist) the same way Mrs. Siegal is doing to Amber.

          That was a really long, over wordy way of saying I don’t think the Browns are totally out of the race yet.

          • David
            David
            August 2, 2013 at 4:22 am | #

            But once you take the ignorance for granted, Mrs Siegal is still blaming Amber for Ethan being gay rather than herself.

            The Browns are not out of the race simply because “and this is my gay Jewish boyfriend” is uncharted water.

            “This seems like a bit much. Is there something you are trying to hide? Have you joined the Klan? What have we told you about not listening to Grandpa?”

            • Steven
              Steven
              August 3, 2013 at 3:29 am | #

              Also, the commenters here seem very much overly-obsessed with discussing who are the most horrible people and why they are horrible people, in a very analytical, dissecting manner that I find personally disturbing and ironic considering most of the reasons why people here seem to find these characters horrible is because “they find certain types of other people horrible.”

              • DarkVeghetta
                DarkVeghetta
                June 23, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

                It’s a human thing. That sed there are objective reasons to find certain types of humans horrible. What those are is somewhat subjective.

  3. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    She seems like a winner

    • NaYa
      NaYa
      August 2, 2013 at 9:11 pm | #

      I’m sorry. With your avatar, I couldn’t help but read it as wiener.
      …which might be the case as well.

  4. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    So Ethan’s Dad works for DOA Shortpacked!? Also love his design!

    • Aeron
      Aeron
      August 2, 2013 at 3:03 am | #

      I was gonna say the exact same thing. The first thing.

  5. JebJeb
    JebJeb
    August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Can’t wait for em to meet Joyce and her family…Gonna need some popcorn for the fireworks.

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      August 2, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

      Forget the Joyce’s parents. Mrs. S vs. the Wilcoxes in a battle for the most disfunctional, abusive parent!

    • David
      David
      August 2, 2013 at 4:26 am | #

      Actually, it will be sad since Mrs Siegal will be reinforced in her belief that Amber is responsible for a gay “phase” of Ethan. And they may well ruin Ethan’s “chance to start fresh” when they trumpet it around.

  6. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh dang, they’re even bigger assholes than I thought.

    • Baroncognito
      Baroncognito
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Oh, be fair, only Mrs. Siegel has said anything.

      • Undrave
        Undrave
        August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        That ‘stache can’t be 100% straight :p

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          To quote Macho Man Randy Savage: “Your mustache is crooked”

        • Foxhack
          Foxhack
          August 2, 2013 at 11:55 am | #

          Two words:

          TOM SELLECK.

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            June 23, 2015 at 12:44 pm | #

            The ‘stache’s gender preference varies based on the decade it was born into.

      • Kennerly
        Kennerly
        August 2, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        Mrs. Siegel is asshole enough for two.

  7. Aizat
    Aizat
    August 2, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Right, blame her for Ethan being gay. I’m sure she’s the reason why Ethan swinging the other way.

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      *Sarcasm* Yes. Girls are definitely the reason for guys being homosexual.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Yeah, like this one guy actually came up with this crazy theory that it is true.

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

          Quoth he, “I like boobs!”

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 2, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            As in idiots or as in the common usage of boobs?

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 2, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

              Idiots. He thinks that idiots are tits.

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                August 2, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

                That is just sad.

                • Squall
                  Squall
                  August 2, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

                  Yes it is, but at least he knows that tits can be an adjective.

                • Heavensrun
                  Heavensrun
                  August 2, 2013 at 12:54 pm | #

                  Will you both marry me?

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  August 2, 2013 at 5:34 pm | #

                  Well that depends.

                • Squall
                  Squall
                  August 2, 2013 at 11:14 pm | #

                  I’m game, so long as its legal. It is legal, right? Right?!

              • David
                David
                August 2, 2013 at 4:36 am | #

                When I made a list of local birds visiting our place in order to make a scenic description for an international conference, I was sort of appalled after looking up the rather common “Kohlmeise” (parus maior). That’s not funny, Brits. I was going to write something like “And of course, there will be plenty of [Kohlmeisen] around.” but had to refrain.

      • bunivasal
        bunivasal
        August 2, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        “Yeah, I’m tired of this conversation, so I printed off Ethan’s Internet history. Well, most of it. I ran out of ink somewhere around the 500th page of Batman pictures from Rule 34.”

        • sliced
          sliced
          August 2, 2013 at 2:06 am | #

          Hey, there’s nothing gay about that

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            June 23, 2015 at 12:47 pm | #

            I fully agree. Most of those just prove various other fetishes.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 2, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      If anything Amber should be the biggest indicator that your son has always been gay. If he’s willing to give up THAT, that dude’s gotta be.

      • Totz the Plaid
        Totz the Plaid
        August 2, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        Billie would be a bigger indicator, but agreed!

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

          Both of them are a HUGE indicator. But then again, I’ll have just one.

          • taekwondogirl
            taekwondogirl
            August 2, 2013 at 7:15 am | #

            That seems like a weight crack.

            • Rheinman
              Rheinman
              August 2, 2013 at 7:25 am | #

              I thought it was a boob reference

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                August 2, 2013 at 10:04 am | #

                Ding ding ding ding ding! Get this man/lady a prize.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              August 2, 2013 at 10:07 am | #

              Weight doesn’t really matters to me.

          • Kirby
            Kirby
            August 2, 2013 at 11:54 am | #

            Danny turned down Billie and Amber, the later in favor of hers… Amazigirl. Does that make him double gay or just obviously gay?

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              August 2, 2013 at 1:31 pm | #

              But he turned both amber and Billie down in favor of Amber so…he’s not gay. Just faithful.

    • Darwin2500
      Darwin2500
      August 2, 2013 at 7:24 am | #

      Ethan is dating a girl again. Thus in his mom’s eyes, Amber is responsible for the brief period where he ‘thought’ he was gay.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        August 2, 2013 at 12:57 pm | #

        I doubt she knows about Joyce yet.

        I hope she doesn’t know about Joyce. I hope that Ethan isn’t stupid enough to have called his mom with a “Hey, Mom, I’m trying out being straight again, there’s a girl named Joyce who thinks she can fix me, so I’m cured of the cock!” conversation.

        Of course, Ethan was stupid enough to dive head first into that relationship without a mote of consideration for Joyce’s feelings at first, so I guess I might be hoping for too much.

        • Lavaticmay
          Lavaticmay
          August 2, 2013 at 9:00 pm | #

          I kinda have to agree that’s literally gonna be the first thing said in the next panel “well Amber, if my sons gay, why is he dating Joyce” Ethan seems like a mamas boy anyways.

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          June 23, 2015 at 12:50 pm | #

          To quote a flying mountain: “The PENIS is EVIL. The GUN is GOOD.”

  8. Mr. Morningstar
    Mr. Morningstar
    August 2, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    And so we meet Ethans mom and dad.

    His dad has a rockin mustache… It looks like a little black and grey caterpillar.

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      It totally is. He lost a bet with Joe’s dad on the way in.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 2, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        It was a sex contest. Joe’s dad won before Ethan’s dad could even decline.

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 2, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          That’s why Amber couldn’t find her mom.

        • Zach
          Zach
          August 2, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          I’ve never heard the word decline used to describe something going flaccid before. I like it!

  9. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    August 2, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Good to know Ethan’s mom is as terrible as we were led to believe.

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 2, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      I like her hair though.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        She kind of looks like my mom.

        • Squall
          Squall
          August 2, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          Mine too. And she looks like my small puppy.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            August 2, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

            If your small puppy was a huge jerk.

            • Squall
              Squall
              August 2, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

              My small puppy barks at the door til I come over and then just walks away.

            • Kernanator
              Kernanator
              August 2, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

              My cat is a huge jerk. But I repeat myself.

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                August 2, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

                Well, cats are jerks. Adorable but jerks.

                • badmartialarts
                  badmartialarts
                  August 2, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

                  “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Only pigs look on us as equals.” –Winston Churchill

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  June 23, 2015 at 12:52 pm | #

                  George Clooney agrees.

  10. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    August 2, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Ethan’s dad looks like Thomas Wayne to me.

    • Andy
      Andy
      August 2, 2013 at 3:02 am | #

      I would say that explains a lot, but 90% of what it might explain is kinda disturbing in that light.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        August 2, 2013 at 1:00 pm | #

        “Ethan, why do you always give your mother pearls and movie tickets for every mother’s day?”

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          August 2, 2013 at 10:21 pm | #

          He just wants to be Batman. Why must you crush his dreams?

  11. thecanvashat
    thecanvashat
    August 2, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    This is awkward like the hotel room after prom.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      I never been to a prom. Then again, where I’m from, prom is a very alien idea.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 2, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        But Ethan and Amber have.

      • thecanvashat
        thecanvashat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        2010: The Year we make Contact. And it is kinda awkward. Like the hotel room after prom.

    • Belades
      Belades
      August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      I did not read that as prom.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

        What did you read it as?

        • Belades
          Belades
          August 2, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

          Guess. It would still apply to the situation in the original comment I would suppose.

  12. John
    John
    August 2, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Man. It’s like a “whose parents are the biggest dicks” contest around here.

    • David
      David M Willis
      August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      the sad thing is these guys lose

      • Mr. Morningstar
        Mr. Morningstar
        August 2, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        You’re very cruel to your characters Willis.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        That’s figurative dicks, not literal ones, right?

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          August 2, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

          Obvously, I mean look at how tall Joe’s dad is, he’s obviously going to win at that.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

          Judging from that mustache, it’s hard to tell.

          • Zach
            Zach
            August 2, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

            If by biggest you mean best, I’m sure Joe’s dad would win.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              August 2, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

              Well, sometimes bigger is better but sometimes it’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it.

              • Shade
                Shade
                August 2, 2013 at 2:01 am | #

                Either way, this is JOE’S dad we’re talking about. He still wins.

                • Undrave
                  Undrave
                  August 2, 2013 at 11:21 am | #

                  Plus his name is Richard, so in a contest of Dicks he’s already ahead.

                • DarkVeghetta
                  DarkVeghetta
                  June 23, 2015 at 12:54 pm | #

                  Hear hear, hear hear.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        …That is sad.

      • Squall
        Squall
        August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        Yeah. Billie’s parents are still worse than them.

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          August 2, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

          Can they even win without actually competing by not coming?

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 2, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

            It’s not coming which makes them dicks.

            • Totz the Plaid
              Totz the Plaid
              August 2, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

              Unless we meet them, their hatefulness is basically only implied.

              We can only count the horribleness that we know.

              • saltchocolate
                saltchocolate
                August 2, 2013 at 6:50 am | #

                We know they’re not coming. To see Billie. Long-distance dick-ness.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        Pretty sure they’re in the running though.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        August 2, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Place ya’ bets!

        Billie’s parents are an obvious contender for not showing up. Joyce’s are annoying but don’t seem to actually be malevolent. I guess Walky’s don’t appreciate their daughter very much, but we haven’t seen the extent of that yet.

        • Ryune
          Ryune
          August 2, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

          Well, if Walky and Sal’s mom is anything like she is in the original Walkyverse…

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

          Danny’s turned him into Danny.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            August 2, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

            No crime worse than making Danny.

      • Luzahn
        Luzahn
        August 2, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Are they…runners-up? Please? 🙁

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          Well, Amazi-Girl was in Track and Field, and Dorothy was in cross-country, I think, so they are going to have a lot of competition.

        • David
          David M Willis
          August 2, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          A distant second, perhaps.

          • Luzahn
            Luzahn
            August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

            Oh no, the first will be heartbreaking. (Most likely.)

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            August 2, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

            I know it flies in the face of all logic, this being a Freshman Family Weekend, but I can’t help but feel like Dargon’s gonna show up.

          • Squall
            Squall
            August 2, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

            Willis, is it fun to create dicks?

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              August 2, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

              Willis doesn’t draw a lot of porn, but I’ve seen more dicks in his comics than on any porn website.

              • Squall
                Squall
                August 2, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

                Well, he’s drawn literal dicks, but I meant *creating. Like designing characters that are ‘dicks’.

                • Zach
                  Zach
                  August 2, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

                  You almost make me believe in freudian slips.

                • Squall
                  Squall
                  August 2, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

                  Why wouldn’t you believe in Freudian tits? I mean Tips. No wait! I meant slips! Slips!

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  August 2, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

                  Yeah I know. I was being clever.

              • Heavensrun
                Heavensrun
                August 2, 2013 at 1:03 pm | #

                You haven’t looked at many porn sites, is the lesson I’m taking away.

              • N0083rP00F
                N0083rP00F
                August 2, 2013 at 3:41 pm | #

                Do not forget ARG from I AM ARG ….. 😉

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  August 2, 2013 at 4:21 pm | #

                  Once you have experienced ARG, I don’t think it is possibl to forget him.

            • The Candyman
              The Candyman
              August 2, 2013 at 10:42 am | #

              Of course it’s fun to create dicks. They can act as both hate sinks and wish fulfillment characters. The best fun to be had is when you throw all your dicks in one pit and watch them battle for the title of Dickmaster Extraordinaire.

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            August 2, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

            Oh shit.

      • derick
        derick
        August 2, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

        Please tell me Roz’s parents are the worst, because I don’t want it to be the Walkertons.

        • Rokk
          Rokk
          August 2, 2013 at 10:56 am | #

          I thought Roz’s parents were dead and she’d been raised thusfar by Robin? Might just be head-canon/AU though

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            August 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm | #

            It could be Roz’s parents are -alive- and she’d been raised thusfar by Robin.

            • vsophi
              vsophi
              August 3, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

              Oh, that’d be even worse.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        August 2, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

        Let’s start taking bets on which characters unfailingly win the contest!

        We already know that Amber’s dad is a terrible person, but that wouldn’t be a big surprise to old readers. Dorothy and Sierra seem too confident and centered to be the product of horrible abuse. Jacob, Roz, and Mary are fair game. Nobody cares about Mary though. Who else have we not met? The Walkertons?

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          August 2, 2013 at 1:38 am | #

          I think it’s gonna be the Walkertons, somehow. Either way it’s gonna be awful. I’ma go practice my DAMN YOU WILLIS.

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            August 2, 2013 at 1:06 pm | #

            That would explain why Sal is kind of a mess and Walky is kind of a douche.

      • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        August 2, 2013 at 11:47 am | #

        For that not to be the case would be downright escapist. People rarely end up with a BS perception of reality, without meth or something involved, unless their upbringing had at least something to do with it.
        Somehow I think there’s a high chance that Sarah’s parents could teach Danny’s and Ethan’s a thing or two on how to turn your kid into a codependent wreck via guilt/shaming-manipulation and blaming the wrong sources for things that aren’t their problem despite any amount of crying, praying, heart-aching, or getting others to take your side (Can’t understand where I’m coming from? Lucky you.). A cookie says Raidah’s make everyone else’s look Norman Rockwell-esque by comparsion…

    • bunivasal
      bunivasal
      August 2, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Richard is compelling me to say
      “Well we know who has the biggest dick around here.”
      And I don’t know how he expected me to illustrate it, so…

      *levitates eyebrows*

      I guess

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        August 2, 2013 at 6:52 am | #

        *eyebrow* (singular).

    • someguywithakatana
      someguywithakatana
      August 2, 2013 at 11:21 am | #

      That’s basically what every family weekend at college is

  13. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Now I think Ethan has a duty to be gay just to piss off his mother.

    • Blue
      Blue
      August 2, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Now I can really understand why he would have decided to go back in the closet.

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      He answers the call of duty when every night.

    • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      August 2, 2013 at 11:53 am | #

      Well, that would be a step in the right direction, but I can’t help but feel we’re giving Ethan too much credit at this time…

  14. Maxy
    Maxy
    August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Is the title of this storyline a reference to “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” or what?

  15. Regalli
    Regalli
    August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    … Well. Before I was just curious about them in the old universe.

    Now I actively hate them.

    Nice.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      August 2, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      In the old universe, we knew next to nothing about Ethan’s parents, though if I recall correctly Willis mentioned that his folks were fine with him being gay and–like damn near everyone else in Shortpacked!–figured it out ages before he did.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        August 2, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        There was that one weird line she had over the phone* where Ethan went “No, it’s NOT because you bought me He-Man as a kid” that makes me kind of wonder in light of this, but yeah, we could assume they were okay with it from the lack of drama.

        * Well, I assume she had it, we don’t actually hear it.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

          And she gave him the Transformer toys to get him off of Sesame Stree.

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          August 2, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

          Just because she accepts her son doesn’t mean that she’s not gonna have some strange ideas about how that sort of thing works, and be a little curious considering.

          • Zach
            Zach
            August 2, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

            If I deviate from gender norms it’s “OK” for me to be “that kind of gay. I guess. Promise!” When will gender die?

            • Somebody
              Somebody
              August 2, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

              It isn’t a question of gender. See, even pro-gay people can get it wrong.

              • belladonnalin
                belladonnalin
                August 2, 2013 at 10:14 am | #

                I think what Zach is saying is that some people are totally fine with people being LGBTQ, but not if their gender expression falls out of line with social expectations. So it’s fine if I’m queer, as long as I’m also not butch. It’s fine if Zach is gay,a s long as he isn’t at all feminine.

                And, yes, it’s disturbingly common in straight AND queer communities.

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            August 2, 2013 at 1:21 am | #

            Yeah, hence why I was just curious.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      August 2, 2013 at 1:08 pm | #

      In fairness, we have seen nothing of note from his Dad so far.

  16. agentksilver
    agentksilver
    August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    I forgot Ethan even had parents. He must have. He had to have that He-Man conversation with someone.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      What about He-Man?

      • Belades
        Belades
        August 2, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

        He once said on the phone that the reason he was gay WASN’T because his mom bought him he-man toys.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 2, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      I always figured he was found in a box outside a Toys R Us, and raised by Teddy Ruxpin.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 2, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      Ethan is the manifistation of Toy collectors.

  17. Zach
    Zach
    August 2, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Punch her! Right in the gut. You know you’d get away with it.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 2, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      They need an Amazi-Girl encounter later on.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 2, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        VIGILANTE JUSTICE

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          August 2, 2013 at 6:59 am | #

          Hard to joke about that these days.

      • Zach
        Zach
        August 2, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

        No. Punch her in the gut and say really loud ‘You stay away rom me!’ She clearly deserves as much. Or harass them until they explicitly define the term ‘thought he was’ and the word ‘gay.’

        They are committing crimes against grammar.

        • Crimson Doom
          Crimson Doom
          August 2, 2013 at 11:08 am | #

          Somehow I don’t think Amber’d be justified in punching her yet. First you tell them to stay away, THEN get a restraining order.

          I’m a firm believer in not punching people until they try to punch (or otherwise physically harm) me. For one thing, it’s a lot easier to defend in court.

  18. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    August 2, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan’s dad kinda looks like Joe.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      HE’S EVERYWHERE!

    • thecanvashat
      thecanvashat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Dr. Rosenthal is Saul Siegal’s secret identity. He’s appearing in the next Amazigirl movie.

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 2, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      What if… THEY’RE SIBLINGS!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 2, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      Joe’s dad is also Ethan’s Dad’s Dad.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        August 2, 2013 at 10:45 am | #

        Joe’s dad is everyone’s dad. Even yours.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      August 2, 2013 at 1:12 pm | #

      What are you saying? That all Jewish people that have appeared in this comic coincidentally slightly resemble each other? Is that what you’re saying? Is it? IS IT??

      • Mr. Morningstar
        Mr. Morningstar
        August 3, 2013 at 3:40 am | #

        I actually forgot they were both jewish wow

  19. Alex Stritar
    Alex Stritar
    August 2, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    So that’s what Ethan’s parents look like. Seems like he really takes after his father.

  20. Chase the Ace
    Chase the Ace
    August 2, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    the dad doesn’t seem upset.

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 2, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      That’s cuz he’s awesome and has an awesome mustache and has the most awesomest name: Saul.

      • thecanvashat
        thecanvashat
        August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Saul Siegal, Private Eye.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 2, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

          Hehehehe…you know what they call detectives back then?

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      August 2, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

      He seems more bewildered than anything else.

  21. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Well, at least this means we’ll be getting some daring Amazi-Girl heroics in the near furture.

    But seriously, that’s horrible. I’m hoping Mr. Siegal’s puzzled expression is indicative of disagreement with the missus.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      August 2, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      I’m guessing Ethan picked up his passivity from one of his parents. No points go to the person who guesses correctly.

  22. nothri
    nothri
    August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    I couldn’t make out what Mrs. S said in that last panel. It looked like “Please, wherever you are Amazigirl. Please, please, PLEASE slap me upside my dumb bongo face. PLEEEEEEASE.”

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      August 2, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      It looked more like ‘I hate you and blame you for something you had nothing to do with, but I’m making myself a big target for karma to kick my ass, so I might as well make it the size of Alaska.” It is painted on her ego.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 2, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        I dunno. I read it as “Everything I say from this point on will be increasingly condescending to the point that I will make an 18 year old girl feel like crying and feel justified in my actions because my brain is a rock.”

        • Totz the Plaid
          Totz the Plaid
          August 2, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

          I think you’re all right.

        • nothri
          nothri
          August 2, 2013 at 5:06 pm | #

          nah I still think I have the accurate translation. Also, she sounds like this guy:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVpg0vws10Y

  23. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    August 2, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Get Amazi-Girl to introduce her boyfriend to them, Amber. They totally deserve to spend time with Danny.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      August 2, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      They deserve Danny’s parents.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 2, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Give them the whole family!

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 2, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

          All the Wilcoxen!

  24. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    So, when are we going to be treated to the scene of every DoA father sitting around a cooler somewhere, exhaling a communal sigh of relief at finally being able to get a word in edgewise?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      August 2, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Except Joe’s dad, who will be wherever the moms congregate. Along with Mike.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 2, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        Joe’s Dad, “I haven’t seen someone with such mom banging skills since…me” They both look at each other, subtle nod of respect, and continue about their business.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          August 2, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

          *Brofist*

          • Jack Finch
            Jack Finch
            August 2, 2013 at 9:38 am | #

            Mike’s version of brofist hits the solar plexus

            • Heavensrun
              Heavensrun
              August 2, 2013 at 1:14 pm | #

              ^This.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      August 2, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

      I’m really not seeing a pattern of the moms talking over the dads, here.

      The Browns – when they were first seen, he did most of the talking. Here she’s chatterboxing, but Joyce is addressing her more.
      The Wilcoxen – about even, perhaps with a slight edge to him.
      Mr Rosenthal – alone, no spouse to be in competition with.
      Ms O’Malley – ditto.
      The Saruyamas – …
      The Warners – she has the edge, because she’s the one currently horrifying Walky, but Pop Warner’s not exactly keeping his yap shut.
      The Keeners – slight edge to her, but he gets a plot-relevant line, and the sample size is so small as to be worthless for drawing conclusions from – as is also the case with the Warners.
      The Walkertons – unless I skipped them by accident, we haven’t seen them, yet.
      Only the Siegels have that going on, thus far.

    • Li
      Li
      August 2, 2013 at 7:02 am | #

      Seems like a good time to link that one study that found that men perceive women as dominating both groups and discussions if they contribute to / exist as more than 20% of the conversation / room. :|a

  25. Frogboy
    Frogboy
    August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    “Mrs. Siegal, I didn’t turn him gay. It was your horrifying Richard Simmons-esque perm that did that.”

  26. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    August 2, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Also this will go badly when Ethan’s relationship with Joyce comes up.

    • Squall
      Squall
      August 2, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      They may like Joyce, actually.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 2, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        That will just make it worse. This could lead to a lifetime of trying to make him straight by finding the right girl and he’s given them proof. He’s made his life harder by trying to make it simpler.

        • Megatron
          Megatron
          August 2, 2013 at 2:20 am | #

          I completely agree. Never give your enemies an opening.!

      • Baroncognito
        Baroncognito
        August 2, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

        That’s silly, no one likes Joyce.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      How bad are we talking here?

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        August 2, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        Smugface bad.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          August 2, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

          Kernenator’s avatar bad.

  27. Milosh
    Milosh
    August 2, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    That is one hell of a Jewfro.
    It’s almost crosses the line from Jewfro to straight-up Afro.

  28. vsophi
    vsophi
    August 2, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Now I’m upset.

    • vsophi
      vsophi
      August 2, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      …Wow, especially since I *voted* for them in the poll.

      I wish I could retract it. Jesus.

      • Jesus
        Jesus
        August 2, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

        I wish you could too, Vsophi…

  29. BayoWolf
    BayoWolf
    August 2, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    I’d find it funny as hell if we just saw Ethan’s dad copy-n-pasted from now on in that position, no matter the place or situation. It won’t happen, but I can dream.

    • Belades
      Belades
      August 2, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      Willis can we please have this be a thing? I love this idea so much. Him actually saying something or deviating from that pose and facial expression could be a major plot point or something.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 2, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        It’s moths too late to ask. Remember the buffer.

        • Belades
          Belades
          August 2, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

          Damnit you’re right.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          August 2, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

          Moths too late? The buffer is made of wool?

        • Somebody
          Somebody
          August 2, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

          What about butterflies?

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            August 2, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

            … I was going to give you thumbs up, then I noticed that ‘bufferflies’ was a misreading. v_v

            Ah, well, here’s a thumbs up, anyway. ^.^b

  30. thecanvashat
    thecanvashat
    August 2, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    Wait, is it just me, or is Ethan’s dad a wax statue?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      Or Ethan’s dad is on emergency “oh shit, my wife is pissed off” auto-pilot.

      • Jesus
        Jesus
        August 2, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

        That’s actually a standee. He’s at the bar with his friends “CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE FELL FOR THAT!?”

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 2, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

        That’s actually just a standee. His dad’s actually at the bar with his friends, “I can’t believe she fell for that!!!”

  31. Khrene Cleaver
    Khrene Cleaver
    August 2, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

    Spousal anger detected. Husband Standby mode activated. All processes frozen.

    • Jesus
      Jesus
      August 2, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      reroute all power to moustache.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 2, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      Rerouting all power to moustache.

  32. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    August 2, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    Aw, Jewish mothers. They create reality, and don’t you dare claim anything they know isn’t true!!!!!!!!

  33. Rufus Saltus
    Rufus Saltus
    August 2, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

    Wait, what branch of Judaism is Ethan’s family? (as in Conservative, Reform, etc.)

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      August 2, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      Given the lack of skullcap, I’d say Reform.

      • Baroncognito
        Baroncognito
        August 2, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

        Not even all branches of Orthodox Judaism require the keepa (because it’s easier to spell than yarmulke) all the time. You can’t tell just by looking at them.

        Though, I’ve yet to encounter a reform Synagogue that wasn’t supportive of gay rights. Most of the Conservative Synagogues I’ve looked at also support gay rights. (Though, what a Synagogue supports and what a member supports are not necessarily the same.)

        And there’s even openly gay Orthodox Rabbis.

        There are two branches of Orthodox Rabbis Councils in America, and one is more close minded than the other.

        • Kennerly
          Kennerly
          August 2, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

          That may be, but I know of no Orthodox woman who wears pants.

          • Baroncognito
            Baroncognito
            August 2, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

            Yeah, I was taking Orthodox as the extreme. They could be conservative, they could be re-constructionist, there are plenty of options. They might be Secular Jews, Humanistic, or Non-practising. They could be Orthodox Jews on Shabbath and other holidays and crypto-jews the rest of the time. (Though, I’d imagine his mom would straighten her hair in that case)

            I’m willing to bet they aren’t Chabadniks.

            I’m willing to bet that, if they’re practising Jews, that they attend whatever Synagogue is closest, because unless they live in Indianapolis, it doesn’t look like there are a lot of options.

          • Mindset
            Mindset
            August 3, 2013 at 11:21 pm | #

            Well, then you haven’t met me. (Not all Orthodox are Haredi. See Modern Orthodoxy, for one.)

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          August 2, 2013 at 1:20 pm | #

          But….you only mention the keepa once, and then you go ahead and spell yarmulke anyway.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            August 2, 2013 at 4:30 pm | #

            You just ruined the joke. You know, by explaining it.

          • Baroncognito
            Baroncognito
            August 2, 2013 at 6:07 pm | #

            Not only that, but I misspelled kippah.

    • Zap Rowsdower
      Zap Rowsdower
      August 2, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

      My money is on Conservative. Despite the name, no political thing, its basically just the middle-of-the-road group more observant than Reform and less than Orthodox.

      IE, more religious than Reform, so less likely to be accepting of homosexuality, but less religious than Orthodox, and so likely to not dress frum.

      • Baroncognito
        Baroncognito
        August 2, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

        I don’t think that Conservative Jews are any more religious than Reform Jews, we’re just less willing to have guitar music and more likely to have atonal droning. (I hate acoustic guitar during services. It’s just horribly out of place.)

        • Rheinman
          Rheinman
          August 2, 2013 at 7:33 am | #

          Second on the music. I knew I was in trouble while visiting my aunt’s church and discovering they had replaced the pipe organ with electric guitar and drums.

          • Andiemus
            Andiemus
            August 2, 2013 at 3:29 pm | #

            Why would anyone get rid of a pipe organ? Those things are badass!

            • Rufus Saltus
              Rufus Saltus
              August 2, 2013 at 5:42 pm | #

              Given that about half of my friends at college are classical musicians (and briefly dated an organist) , I am inclined to agree with you.

              • Baroncognito
                Baroncognito
                August 2, 2013 at 5:57 pm | #

                Half your friends at college briefly dated an organist? Concurrently or consecutively?

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        August 2, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

        Probably Conservative Jews, which tend to travel the middle of the road, and who usually don’t dress differently than other Americans. Possibly Reconstructionist but Conservatives are more numerous.

        Reform Jews tend to be progressive, and as a movement, have staunchly supported gay rights since it first came up for discussion.

        I was gonna predict that these parents would object to Ethan dating a Christian, but they didn’t object to him dating Amber O’Malley so maybe they’re okay with interfaith marriage. Still, dating a probably-Christian is not the same as dating somebody who will actively try to convert their boychick away.

        • Baroncognito
          Baroncognito
          August 2, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

          Well, two things:

          1) Dating in high school isn’t a huge deal. Most people don’t marry their high school sweet hearts. It’s when they talk about marriage that you start to worry about religions.

          2) We don’t know how okay they were with Ethan dating Amber, we only know the aftermath.

          • Baroncognito
            Baroncognito
            August 2, 2013 at 2:38 am | #

            Edit: Okay, if she asked Amber to call her Naomi, she was probably okay with it.

            • The Candyman
              The Candyman
              August 2, 2013 at 10:52 am | #

              Even if they aren’t okay with interfaith marriage, they would probably allow it if (in their eyes, anyway) it would keep their son from being gay.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                August 3, 2013 at 11:21 pm | #

                There’s an old Jewish joke, in which a son brings home a series of young eligible women, and the parents find something wrong with each one. Rebecca’s too plain, Ruchel isn’t smart enough, whatever. Finally the son gets pissed off and brings home a nice Jewish boy, and the folks say “Hey, whatever happened to Rebecca…?”

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        August 2, 2013 at 1:21 pm | #

        Honestly, they don’t have to fit into a box, guys.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          August 2, 2013 at 4:32 pm | #

          Well, not unless they are dead, anyway.

        • Zap Rowsdower
          Zap Rowsdower
          August 2, 2013 at 6:18 pm | #

          Well, they do if they want to find a synagogue that they don’t resent with every fiber of their being more than is usual.

  34. Nono
    Nono
    August 2, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    One of the possibly worst parts of that spiel was that Mrs. S specifically said, ‘…so bad at dating my son he started THINKING he was a homosexual.’

    Does Mrs S. still hope Ethan might be straight? Oh dear. We might be seeing a new Mrs. Brown from the Walkyverse and desperate for anyone to sex up her offspring, just now… kinda mean.

  35. Darth Cariss
    Darth Cariss
    August 2, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    Ethan might have his Dad’s body shape, but really has his mom’s eyes.

    Also, that ‘stache reminds me of Ethan’s ‘stache in that alt universe strip you did in Shortpacked! that one time.

  36. Sporky
    Sporky
    August 2, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

    Saul’s mustache makes him look like Anthony. Ick.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      August 2, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

      So… Mrs. Siegal is basically Therese?

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        August 2, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

        Or Liz. Could be Liz.

  37. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    August 2, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

    A really nice lady she seems

  38. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 2, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    How will she react to Joyce; will she see this as a good thing or a bad thing?

  39. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    August 2, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    I get the feeling these are the even more terrible parents you were telling Mr Jaques about. That, or we’re in for some doozies in the future.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      August 2, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

      And yet again, if I had just read the comments, I’d have my answer. Sorry, Willis =/

  40. MM
    MM
    August 2, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

    Is it just the perspective shift, or is Ethan’s dad sloooowly backing out of the last frame?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      August 2, 2013 at 10:49 am | #

      To relative positions of his pit and Naomi’s shoulder haven’t changed, so it’s just a tighter panel.

  41. ridtom
    ridtom
    August 2, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

    It’s sad that these aren’t even the worst parents here. I’m looking at you Billies parents.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

      Yeah, at least they showed up.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        August 2, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

        Sometimes the best gift a parent can give is their absence.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        August 2, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

        This, like the ‘you bastard!’ reactions to seeing Faye and her parents being happy, gives me a ‘I totally have different emotional reactions than most of the readers’ moment.

        IME, ‘not showing up’ is not a worse crime than ‘showing up and having the intention of haranguing their child about his sexuality’.

        It’s certainly possible that the Billingsleys are worse than the Siegels (or Mrs Siegel, at least…Mr S may well be a great guy), but not showing up is not enough evidence of that – in fact, if they are, as timemonkey says not showing up could well have been the best thing they could have done. (This is assuming they actually don’t show up.)

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          August 2, 2013 at 12:46 pm | #

          Agreed.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      August 2, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

      Maybe we’ll get to meet Amber’s Dad. D:

  42. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    August 2, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

    I hope Sierra’s parents are a lot nicer.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      August 2, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

      And bare footed to boot.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        August 2, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

        There’s no way I won’t like Sierra’s parents. Even if they’re Horrible people they made Sierra. They can’t be all bad.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          August 2, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

          Well, as they say, how the child turned out is based on how the parents act.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            August 2, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

            But there are exceptions to that statement.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        August 2, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

        Like Dina’s parents and hats, each of Sierra’s will have unique, but unusual foot wear.

  43. N
    N
    August 2, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

    Wow…just wow.

    It’s no wonder why all these guys are so fucked up. It’s a good thing they didn’t go to a college close to their house so they would still live with their folks, or they would have gone insane.

  44. Jon Lennox
    Jon Lennox
    August 2, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

    Good news, Mrs. Siegal! Your son doesn’t say he’s homosexual anymore — he’s dating a fundamentalist Christian girl!

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      August 2, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

      And she’s totally on board with trying to convert him to act against his natural urges, including the urge to be Jewish anymore! Hooray!

  45. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    August 2, 2013 at 1:28 am | #

    List of main character families we’ll meet:
    Ethan – horrible mother. Father is passive
    Amber – horrible father. Mother is currently having sex after years of none.
    Dina – … Them.
    Danny – horrible AND Judgemental
    Joe – Joe father. Absent mother.
    Billie – absent father. Joe mother.
    Ruth and Howard – dead parents, controlling militaristic grandfather.
    Walky and Sal – Nan.
    Joyce – fundamentalists, not actively malicious.
    Dorothy – actually seem nice.

    So, I wonder who has it worst?

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      August 2, 2013 at 1:37 am | #

      Walky and Sal are the product of Indian flat bread?

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        August 2, 2013 at 3:16 am | #

        Indian flatbread and caramel. How else do you explain Walky’s abs?

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      August 2, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

      Amber’s mom stood her up on Freshmen Family Weekend to hook up with a stranger. Major deduction. Maybe not the worst, but geez Amber escapes abuse but still getting neglected.

    • specter177
      specter177
      August 2, 2013 at 11:49 am | #

      Also, Mike’s parents are best parents.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      August 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm | #

      Having met the old universe Walkertons… Their dad was nice there. That may very well have changed.

  46. Lawzlo
    Lawzlo
    August 2, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

    Did Saul Siegal lose his other eyebrow in some sort of tragic accident?

  47. Jesse
    Jesse
    August 2, 2013 at 2:04 am | #

    What a bongo.

  48. Cleftes
    Cleftes
    August 2, 2013 at 2:09 am | #

    Can Ethan’s dad PLEASE be Freddie Mercury in the witness protection program?

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      August 2, 2013 at 2:37 am | #

      I support this idea.

  49. VZG
    VZG
    August 2, 2013 at 2:25 am | #

    I’m picturing Ethan’s dad as the dad from Twilight now.

  50. Jenny Creed
    Jenny Creed
    August 2, 2013 at 2:47 am | #

    Of course! Why would you need to tolerate or even accept that you have a gay son when you can blame the ex for being a terrible girlfriend instead?

    I love prejudice logic. It makes everything so simple.

    I hope they can get this sorted out before Joyce shows up or Naomi will be very confused. 😡

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      August 2, 2013 at 3:18 am | #

      Actually she wouldn’t.
      The illogic goes thusly.
      This girl was so bad she made my son question his sexuality.
      This girl is so good she fixed that.
      Bad logic.
      Hoo.
      Ray.

      • Jenny Creed
        Jenny Creed
        August 2, 2013 at 4:25 am | #

        Being confused, in the sense of not actually understanding what’s going on, is a totally different thing from recognizing that you’re confused.

  51. Tenn
    Tenn
    August 2, 2013 at 3:47 am | #

    Little did Dr. Rosenthal know, the O’Malley girls had a natural affinity for turning jews gay.

    • Phillip Wilde
      Phillip Wilde
      August 2, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

      Then he’ll find some guy to Joe. He’ll Joe him in the butt.

      • Phillip Wilde
        Phillip Wilde
        August 2, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

        He could be Ethan’s sugar daddy.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          August 2, 2013 at 8:51 pm | #

          Is there a Yiddish term for that? It sounds like there should be a Yiddish term for that.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            August 2, 2013 at 9:00 pm | #

            “צוקער פאטער”.

  52. James
    James
    August 2, 2013 at 4:08 am | #

    Now those are are eyes that stare into your soul. o_O

  53. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    August 2, 2013 at 4:52 am | #

    Huh. Kinda regrettin’ voting to meet Ethan’s parents now…

  54. Johnpocalypse
    Johnpocalypse
    August 2, 2013 at 7:04 am | #

    It is my most fervent hope that Mr Siegel has only the one facial expression in his every appearance.

  55. Gneiss
    Gneiss
    August 2, 2013 at 8:08 am | #

    Damn, Ethan and I are both gay with Jewish mothers named Naomi?

    Willis, are you writing this comic about me?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      August 2, 2013 at 10:52 am | #

      If so, you made (or will make) TERRIBLE dating decisions in early college.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 2, 2013 at 10:56 am | #

      Willis writes the comic about everyone. He knows all.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      August 2, 2013 at 1:50 pm | #

      Ignore the camera’s and keep doing interesting things.

  56. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    August 2, 2013 at 8:17 am | #

    Feels like Amber’s going to get a pretty rough time of this.

  57. Pat Myers
    Pat Myers
    August 2, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

    College Amber is so cute. I’m trying to focus on the positive here, Ethan’s Parents.

  58. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    August 2, 2013 at 10:13 am | #

    Ohhhh dear.

    I don’t think Mr S wants to be in this conversation either!

  59. Deimir
    Deimir
    August 2, 2013 at 10:48 am | #

    Dat. Stache.

  60. Em
    Em
    August 2, 2013 at 1:35 pm | #

    No wonder Ethan is looking for a beard. But he needs to sack up and deal with the matter head on. Amber seems to have a big brass pair that clanks when she walks to be able to stand up to this crazy lady.

  61. Squall
    Squall
    August 2, 2013 at 2:41 pm | #

    Saul has only one eyebrow!!

  62. Roborat
    Roborat
    August 2, 2013 at 4:38 pm | #

    Ethans’s Dad: “Stay absolutely still, her vision’s based on movement.”
    .
    .
    .
    That’s right, I did the same joke again.

  63. zomgvampires
    zomgvampires
    August 2, 2013 at 7:19 pm | #

    Poor Ethan. …Poor Amber. I’ve been on that side of the conversation. They thought I turned their baby gay. 😐

    • Thor
      Thor
      August 2, 2013 at 8:38 pm | #

      You sang show tunes while there was an infant in the room? You unspeakable monster!

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      August 2, 2013 at 8:49 pm | #

      I still don’t understand how anyone would believe some guy was turned gay by a girl (that he was dating, even).

  64. Whittier
    Whittier
    August 2, 2013 at 9:47 pm | #

    My friends named their twins, who are now adorable toddlers, Saul and Naomi. 🙂

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      August 2, 2013 at 10:17 pm | #

      …That is a stunning coincidence.

  65. newllend
    newllend
    August 15, 2013 at 3:23 pm | #

    Wow that is the most bichiest thing I have ever herd someone say too another person

  66. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    October 1, 2013 at 8:09 am | #

    Sal looks sad. Anyone want to ship her with Mike?

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