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uh oh i think i might ship them now
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July 21, 2023

Lit

by David M Willis on November 26, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You

└ Tags: danny, sal

Discussion (276) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ellie
    Ellie
    November 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    This can’t go well.

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      November 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

      I’m waiting for somethin’ to blow up.

      • All Else Fails
        All Else Fails
        November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

        Comment section blow up in 3… 2… 1…

        • GoldStarz
          GoldStarz
          November 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

          Your countdown was late. Or the bomb went off early.

          • Ellie
            Ellie
            November 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

            Somebody set us up the bomb

            • Mr. Random
              Mr. Random
              November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

              The grammar it hurts. The reference, I do not get!

              • Ellie
                Ellie
                November 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

                Oops. I had it done wrong anyways. it’s set up us the bomb, not set us up the bomb

                • Cholma
                  Cholma
                  November 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

                  Main screen turn on.

                  Take off all Sals.
                  All your Dannys are belong to us. (Dannies?)

                • Fernando
                  Fernando
                  November 26, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

                  You have no chance to survive make your time.
                  Ha ha ha ha….

                • Historyman68
                  Historyman68
                  November 26, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

                  Take off every zig.

                • John
                  John
                  November 26, 2013 at 4:51 am | #

                  I never thought Zero Wing references would make me nostalgic.

                • Parnifia the Bastard
                  Parnifia the Bastard
                  November 26, 2013 at 9:17 am | #

                  HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN.

                • mysss
                  mysss
                  December 2, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

                  That amazing moment when you remember the “ha”s are PART OF THE REFERENCE AHAHAHAHAHA

              • E.R.
                E.R.
                November 26, 2013 at 4:38 am | #

                It’s a reference to a song, based on a poorly translated game, calledAll Your Base are Belong to Us.

                It is worth noting that I have not linked to the normal version of the song. In fact, the two share almost nothing but lyrics…

                • Blue Dragon
                  Blue Dragon
                  November 26, 2013 at 8:41 am | #

                  I clicked your link before reading your second paragraph. I was expecting the link to go here.

                • Dustin
                  Dustin
                  November 27, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

                  It’s worth also pointing out (I guess) that the bad engrish was only on the europe-only megadrive version. The arcade version doesn’t have it. Also, the song originally appeared on Something Awful and the people that did it released about an album’s worth of pretty decent material under the name “The Laziest Men on Mars.”

                • lightsabermario
                  lightsabermario
                  November 27, 2013 at 5:50 am | #

                  The version I was thinking of is this one (albeit a very obscure version). http://dwellingofduels.net/dodarchive/05-0910-Free_Month/ZZ-Kadmium-Zero%20Wing-Make%20Your%20Time-DoD.mp3

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  June 26, 2014 at 8:05 pm | #

                  Here’s the original bad dub of the game intro.
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfwqvUPIRkg

            • GoldStarz
              GoldStarz
              November 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

              The bomb set us up to believe that the bomb would not go off early?

              Does that make this a Thanatos Gambit?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

            It was the best I could do…

            • GoldStarz
              GoldStarz
              November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

              You monster! Have you no decency?!

              • Tunaro
                Tunaro
                November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

                Well it is a common problem for bombs in this age. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.

                • GoldStarz
                  GoldStarz
                  November 26, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

                  Bombs blowing up intelligent, likable female characters after they try to sacrifice themselves and protect others from the blast is a common occurrence?

            • xKiv
              xKiv
              November 26, 2013 at 5:06 pm | #

              .. it was just slightly worse than everyone else’s average.

          • Bugberry
            Bugberry
            November 26, 2013 at 9:51 am | #

            The countdown started before we even got here.

    • NoHeart
      NoHeart
      November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      Does anything with Danny ever go well?

      • asmcint
        asmcint
        November 26, 2013 at 1:52 am | #

        If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

        • Yarrr
          Yarrr
          November 26, 2013 at 4:56 am | #

          Amber: talk to self

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      5 years later, they’re happily married.

      • GoldStarz
        GoldStarz
        November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

        Just like it didn’t happen in the original universe.

        • Tunaro
          Tunaro
          November 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

          Well it sort of possibly happened in a different timeline.

    • nothri
      nothri
      November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Depends on if you consider Danny and Sal banging to be a thing that goes well.

      • Mravac Kid
        Mravac Kid
        November 26, 2013 at 6:16 am | #

        They have been destined to be together for what, over 15 years now? About time that happened. 😀

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      So far it’s gone better than I expected, actually.

      [and so much for DON’T SPOIL IT FOR ME I WANNA FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF]

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        November 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm | #

        Figure *what* out? Skating?

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          November 27, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

          okay, that didn’t parse well, did it

          Danno: “NO SPOILARZ“

    • Guest Person Dude
      Guest Person Dude
      November 26, 2013 at 4:21 am | #

      You think it can’t go well, huh?
      Some of the meanest, hardest, toughest people just ever needed the slightest benefit of the doubt.
      I guess we’ll see.

  2. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    November 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    XD

  3. Herohatch
    Herohatch
    November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Granted, when I was eighteen, I probably would have pulled a Danny much like this one.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      That was last year for me…and I probably wouldn’t…I’m too self conscious and Sal is CLEARLY out of my league.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Every now and then, maybe once or twice a year, I try flirting with someone who is several orders of magnitude hotter than me.

        My success rate may not be incredible, but it’s way better than it ought to be.

        • Shadow12000
          Shadow12000
          November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          Don’t lie, Doctor. Your success rate is fantastic.

        • James Rye
          James Rye
          November 26, 2013 at 4:14 pm | #

          What is your secret man??? D8

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          November 26, 2013 at 5:08 pm | #

          That’s because the strategy is brilliant.

        • dimblecon
          dimblecon
          November 26, 2013 at 10:21 pm | #

          can’t win if you don’t play

      • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
        Thanks, I'll Have Another!
        November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Depends. Can you properly deliver a good curse? That might earn you a ride on her motorcycle.

        • asmcint
          asmcint
          November 26, 2013 at 1:54 am | #

          If you know what I… or they… IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS INTENDED! >;D <— ANGRY WINKY FACE!!!

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Leagues are for seas, and you ain’t in an ocean.

        • Shadow12000
          Shadow12000
          November 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

          Sure he is, fish in the sea and all that.

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            November 26, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

            He’s not a fish! He’s a human being!

            • Lel
              Lel
              November 26, 2013 at 8:24 am | #

              I’m pretty sure that all the world’s a stage, and us people are mere actors.
              Judging by this logic, Danny is either intended to mess up/succeed through adorable dan-ness or his ablibbing to get a chance with a hot babe.

              Analogies!

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Man, I’d still Dan it up now…

      • Ellie
        Ellie
        November 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        Nice gravatar for that

      • Keroshino
        Keroshino
        November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        You’re Danning it up now! (Gavatar pic)

  4. Robbie C
    Robbie C
    November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Why bother even wearing clothes at all?

    • Eric
      Eric
      November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      Because she likes wearing those clothes?

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      McDonalds doesn’t serve you if you don’t got pants on.
      I’ve tried.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        November 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

        They once served me without shoes. THE RULES ARE A LIE.

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          November 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

          YOU CAN EVEN GO IN WITHOUT A SHIRT! (But you have to be “hot”.)

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

            What if I’m on fire?

            • GoldStarz
              GoldStarz
              November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

              Nope, has to be a minimum of hellfire hot, sometimes they let it slide if it causes a fourth degree burn, though.

            • TPman
              TPman
              November 26, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

              If you’re on fire they can’t catch you.
              Ever tried to catch a man who’s on fire? Pretty hard.

              • DubstepWraith
                DubstepWraith
                November 26, 2013 at 6:21 am | #

                Hence the movie “Catching Fire”.

                (Insert CSI Reference here)

      • shoeboxjeddy
        shoeboxjeddy
        November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        She has pants. Show me on the sign where it says “No pants (that fully cover your thong). No service.”

    • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Very relevant gravatar here.

  5. Sammie1053
    Sammie1053
    November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh god i love Sal so much more now and i don’t even know why.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Last panel?

    • Shadow12000
      Shadow12000
      November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Keeping a cig in her mouth just to look cool?

      • BlueRam
        BlueRam
        November 26, 2013 at 8:19 am | #

        It’s what we do.

  6. John
    John
    November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    “S’not lit, but Ah’m wondrin’ if you are.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Snot lit. Sorry, just setting my boogers on fire.

      • Shadow12000
        Shadow12000
        November 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        I knew someone who majored in Snot lit.

        • BlueRam
          BlueRam
          November 26, 2013 at 8:19 am | #

          “Snot him!”

  7. Khantalas
    Khantalas
    November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Danny, this might be the beginning of a beautiful, dysfunctional relationship.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Is there any other kind? In Willis land?

    • Shadow12000
      Shadow12000
      November 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      Nah, we’ve already been there with Danny x Sal in a Willisverse, it just died very quickly.

      • Khantalas
        Khantalas
        November 26, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        Not nearly dysfunctional enough, or nearly beautiful enough.

      • niblik
        niblik
        November 26, 2013 at 2:50 pm | #

        Or it could go completely the other way. 🙂

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          November 26, 2013 at 5:39 pm | #

          It could be the end of an ugly, functional relationship?

  8. LiaHansen
    LiaHansen
    November 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Wait… is tow why, this gonna go well? i don’t know why, but I’m getting this strange feeling that this is actually gonna go well.

    • Aakriti
      Aakriti
      November 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      I agree!

    • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      November 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Or at least not as badly as some are expecting. I think the combination of Danny’s awkward candor and Sal’s cynical perceptiveness might make for some surprising chemistry, even if only in a platonic way.

  9. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    November 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    “Hello Wonderinifyoulostabet. Is that a family name?”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      My mom married into it. Her maiden name was “Yourfuckin’withmeright.”

      • Tenn
        Tenn
        November 26, 2013 at 4:19 pm | #

        To which my father replied, “Don’t mind if I do!”

  10. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    November 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    The accent is a good disguise.

  11. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    November 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    I’m sorry, but not even Sal can make the “underwear sticking up out of my pants look” look cool.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Wedgie-Chic.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        I think it’s more of a “I-just-got-done-kickin’-someone’s-sorry-ass” look.

    • TPman
      TPman
      November 26, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

      No, not cool, the opposite perhaps though.
      (I’m saying she is hot)

    • Caliban
      Caliban
      November 26, 2013 at 2:29 am | #

      Well, the way she’s wearing them now just makes it looks like she’s wearing a diaper or something. The “cool” way is to just have the thong straps showing above your pants, not the thong itself.

    • Compulsive Collector
      Compulsive Collector
      November 26, 2013 at 12:20 pm | #

      What are “things my grandmother would’ve said,” Alex?

    • desai
      desai
      November 26, 2013 at 1:46 pm | #

      I think it’s more ‘my pants have slipped down below my underwear’, though that’s just nitpicking. Regardless, you’re right in that it lacks a certain Gravitas.

  12. Sensedog
    Sensedog
    November 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Nice innuendo.

  13. GoldStarz
    GoldStarz
    November 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Completely Unexpected Plot Twist: This goes perfectly smoothly and both end up in a mutually happy relationship.

    • Super Duper
      Super Duper
      November 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      IMPOSSIBRU!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      One based on mutual respect and admiration, with no dysfunction whatsoever.

      Of course, having Walky over for dinner is awkward, since he brings Dorothy with him. But hey, who wouldn’t put aside old grievances when the president is a guest in your house!

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        November 26, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

        Joe Wilson?

        • Kyrros
          Kyrros
          November 26, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

          David Levinson

      • Thasvaddef
        Thasvaddef
        November 26, 2013 at 7:15 am | #

        Plot twist! It’s President Walky!

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          November 26, 2013 at 8:09 am | #

          I was hoping someone would suggest this.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      They would have the cutest babies.

      • GoldStarz
        GoldStarz
        November 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        And their relationship wouldn’t even get so babies after they have the babies!

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      November 26, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

      Which would be ironic since he’s unknowingly cheating on the girlfriend he unknowingly dumped because she wanted him to cheat on her with herself…

      …Willis, you tryna beat out Avalon for twistiness??

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        November 26, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

        Oh yeah! In my amazement at how the whole fan base suddenly shipped Danny and Sal around the world in 80 days, I *totally forgot* about Amber!

        • Badeyes
          Badeyes
          November 26, 2013 at 1:44 am | #

          Makes perfect sense, first we have to get the ship going before pointing it toward the iceberg.

          • saltchocolate
            saltchocolate
            November 26, 2013 at 6:32 pm | #

            Got it.

    • so279
      so279
      November 26, 2013 at 2:33 am | #

      Second unexpected plot twist: David Willis is a pseudonym of M. Night Shamalayan.

    • niblik
      niblik
      November 26, 2013 at 2:51 pm | #

      I’d buy that for a dollar!

  14. Rubin
    Rubin
    November 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    A part of me wonders if she’d actually go for a guy like Danny.

    It’s a really dumb part of me.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      She went. For Jason.

      Compared to him, Danny is The Fonz.

      • Sporky
        Sporky
        November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        But Jason is actually charming in his uptight and self-righteousness, probably because he has that “classy British guy” thing going for him, whereas Danny i just kinda……… eeeeeeeegghhhhhh.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          Yeah, but Danny is at least not Faz.
          Just keep in mind, ladies…
          Most of us guys are not Faz
          *clicks tongue/Smile twinkle*

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            November 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            I am now picturing a version of Happy Days starring The Faz.

            Picture it. Savor the image. Let it become part of your being.

            • Wizard
              Wizard
              November 26, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

              And suddenly I’m rooting for the shark.

            • saltchocolate
              saltchocolate
              November 26, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

              Can’t unsee….

            • Schist
              Schist
              November 26, 2013 at 12:34 pm | #

              Would they have to rename the show to Creepy Days then?

              • Kodoku
                Kodoku
                November 26, 2013 at 1:26 pm | #

                Fazzy Days.

              • xKiv
                xKiv
                November 26, 2013 at 5:49 pm | #

                The Great Faz is Happy!

          • AgentKeen
            AgentKeen
            November 26, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

            Also:
            -Finger pistol-

      • JustDucky
        JustDucky
        November 26, 2013 at 2:40 am | #

        I suspect most girls would go for Jason over Danny. British accents are sexy.

        • -Sentinel-
          -Sentinel-
          November 26, 2013 at 6:29 pm | #

          And Jason was waaaay badass in the old continuity.

      • John
        John
        November 26, 2013 at 4:39 am | #

        But compared to Danny, Jason is James Bond.

  15. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    November 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    That Sal, such a cut-up that kid.

  16. Super Duper
    Super Duper
    November 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    … You know what?
    I’d ship it.

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Not the strangest ship I’ve shipped, but a ship none the less

      • Super Duper
        Super Duper
        November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Is she seaworthy? I guess.

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          November 26, 2013 at 5:50 pm | #

          Enough people want to see it.

          • nick
            nick
            November 26, 2013 at 6:12 pm | #

            A lot of people went on the titanic as well

            • Badeyes
              Badeyes
              November 26, 2013 at 11:38 pm | #

              And how many are shipping just to see Danny’s self loathing when he realizes she’s NOT Amazi-girl.

  17. Fluffy
    Fluffy
    November 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    That… actually went better than I thought it would.

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      We’re not done yet, Danny can still make this worse.

      • Ellie
        Ellie
        November 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        It’s only a matter of time, really.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          Danny can’t make it BETTER. He’s DANNY.

          • someguywithakatana
            someguywithakatana
            November 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            You’re forgetting. This is Sal. Danny pretty much generated half of her positive character developments in the OU.

            • GoldStarz
              GoldStarz
              November 26, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

              So you’re saying Sal’s betterness…

              Will overpower the Dannyness that is Danny.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              November 26, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

              Sal had positive character development?

              • John
                John
                November 26, 2013 at 4:46 am | #

                She hasn’t murdered a teammate or attempted global genocide in a while.

                • AgentKeen
                  AgentKeen
                  November 26, 2013 at 5:33 pm | #

                  That we know of!
                  Plus, she tries to avoid the Waggling Finger of Shame from Jason.

  18. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    November 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Hmmm. I feel like they knew each other. In another life.

    • Auror
      Auror
      November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      IN ANOTHER LIIIIIIFE
      I WOULD MAKE YOU STAAAY

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Oh my gosh. Parallel Sal is channeling her desire to stay with Danny! I ship it even more now.

  19. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Oh, Danny lost a bet, all right. He lost one long ago.

    That’s why he’s Danny now.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      He lost a bet to Joe in the 3rd grade that for the rest of his life he’ll always make the wrong decision.
      Taking that bet was the first one.

      • Blue Dragon
        Blue Dragon
        November 26, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

        I thought the bet in 3rd grade was that he had to leave that drawing on his fridge forever. Maybe he just ate too much paste when they were younger than that?

  20. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Lost a bet? What kind of wager makes you talk to an attractive girl when you lose? Where I come from when you lose a bet you have to hit on an ugly girl.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Lost a bet – because you are about to make a huge fool of yourself/get epically shot down.
      It could be a foreshadowing statement more than anything.
      Or imply that he is acting so awkward that he would have had to have lost a bet to act like that.

      I admit, at that age I would have been no more smooth.

    • John
      John
      November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      “Hit on the attractive girl who is totally going to shoot you down, then kick your ass, then laugh at you”?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Where I come from, I can’t hit on girls. I’m too shy. I’d cry.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        November 26, 2013 at 3:14 pm | #

        That could work with some girls, you should try it.

    • Pope William T Wodium
      Pope William T Wodium
      November 26, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      She’s also picking up on the fact that his heart isn’t really in it. She’s narrowing her hypothesis space to “reasons this guy would be talking to me that don’t include him wanting to.”

      • Shadlyn Wolfe
        Shadlyn Wolfe
        November 26, 2013 at 6:22 am | #

        Less funny, but also true, we know Sal has some self esteem issues. Maybe she thinks he’s out of her league.

        Nah, she’d never admit to it if she did.

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          November 26, 2013 at 5:46 pm | #

          She doesn’t have issues so bad that she thinks Dan is some incredible catch that lost a bet and he is the one that has to do a slump buster for the team.
          Her issues in DoA seem to be about her parents.

    • Kladeos
      Kladeos
      November 26, 2013 at 11:37 am | #

      Sal is intimidating.

    • taekwondogirl
      taekwondogirl
      November 26, 2013 at 1:19 pm | #

      “Lost a bet? What kind of wager makes you talk to an attractive girl when you lose? Where I come from when you lose a bet you have to hit on an ugly girl.”

      And this is precisely what my dad warned me about and why any time someone hit on me, I thought they were making fun of me. That’s terrible.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        November 26, 2013 at 5:51 pm | #

        Which part is terrible?
        That your dad warned you about this, meaning she called you ugly?
        Or that guys do this?

        Well both are terrible, really. I just hope your father didn’t call you a slump buster.

        • taekwondogirl
          taekwondogirl
          November 26, 2013 at 7:51 pm | #

          Both, really. In my comment I was meaning the guys who do this but yeah. Did a hell of a number on my esteem. He never outright called me ugly or anything, but did shit to undermine my confidence all the time. Only two years ago, he got me a hair straightener for Christmas so I’d “feel more confident” about my appearance. -_-

  21. Ali
    Ali
    November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    I wonder how long Sal will walk around campus like that before someone tells her to change…

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      It’s a state college campus. People used to go to class in their pajamas all the time when I was in school. Nobody cares.

      • Ali
        Ali
        November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        I dunno about anyone else, but my pajamas cover me and my underwear up completely.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

          Not me. I sleep in my underpants.

          • Badeyes
            Badeyes
            November 26, 2013 at 1:48 am | #

            At college age my pajamas in public would have lead to an indecent exposure charge.

    • C.
      C.
      November 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      Willis said that Sal doesn’t intend to go to class in her getup on Tumblr.

      • Marek
        Marek
        November 26, 2013 at 3:54 am | #

        Isn’t this day supposed to be Sunday anyway?

  22. shoeboxjeddy
    shoeboxjeddy
    November 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Snot lit? Is this like the horrible mutant offspring of chick lit or something? Yikes that sounds awful… And why is she bringing it up in the first pl… oh that’s something else entirely okay.

    *This has been stream of consciousness theater.*

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      November 26, 2013 at 5:54 pm | #

      Are those where you read snot tracts and chick tracts?

  23. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Damnit, I ship them now too.
    In fact…
    It may be fanart time.

    • Auror
      Auror
      November 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      do it

    • rachel
      rachel
      November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      yotomoe I am forever waiting for your dumbiverse/walkyverse fanart

      foreverrrr

    • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      November 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      I will gladly subscribe to your newsletter, Yotomoe.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

      Arghhhhh I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DRAW THO!!! My hatred of Danny has clearly extended to my ability to draw him.

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        November 26, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

        Draw him down on one knee, with her hand to his lips…!

      • Fernando
        Fernando
        November 26, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

        He should be tied up in only his pokemon boxers and she’s posing with a whip, full on dominatrix style.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 26, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

      NSFW

      “Amazi-girl, you’re way more frisky than usual!
      “Ah dun’ know what kinda Role playin’ yer doin’ but ah like it.”

      • itsnoteasybeinggreen
        itsnoteasybeinggreen
        November 26, 2013 at 7:21 am | #

        Awesome!!

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        November 26, 2013 at 6:36 pm | #

        That is the cutest possible Sal! Woo!

  24. Riku
    Riku
    November 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Next strip:
    “HE MADE THE FIRST MOVE! :D”

  25. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    November 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    She looks like a Sal.

  26. Sporky
    Sporky
    November 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Shipping DANNY AND SAL? Perish the thought!

  27. anonreader1
    anonreader1
    November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Holy crap she is cute.

  28. Thanks, I'll Have Another!
    Thanks, I'll Have Another!
    November 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Mary? Why do you look so much like Sarah?

    • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Balls. That was supposed to be a reply.

  29. newllend
    newllend
    November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    I think this is a great first in counter ( hahahahah) OK so wonder if this conversation goes any where

  30. Cthulhu's Intern
    Cthulhu's Intern
    November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Is he Danning so hard he’s succeeding? Like, he’s gone so far down the “failure” meter that it circled the globe and landed right into the “HUGE SUCCESS” territory?

    • Bilfred
      Bilfred
      November 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      No. He just got so lucky, he managed to leave Dan-land and entered mediocre-but-not-all-that-bad-land.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        He’s still quite a bit away from Joehio but Darnit he’s trying!

  31. Corsair114
    Corsair114
    November 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    I’m SAILING A-way….

  32. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    November 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    No Sal, Yo don’t know Danny like we do!

  33. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    November 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    If the author ships it, does that make it canon even if it isn’t?

  34. fatso
    fatso
    November 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    I’d ship it. I’d ship that so damn hard!

    • fatso
      fatso
      November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      RRRAAAAAAARRRRRGGGH!!! <–Shipping sounds

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        SHIPPING INTENSIFIES.

        • fatso
          fatso
          November 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

          Then again, I’d ship Sal with a baked potato. And with Danny I basically am! Buh-dum tsst

          • I dont know what to put here
            I dont know what to put here
            November 26, 2013 at 5:15 am | #

            That joke was half baked.
            Just like Dan.

    • CallMeIshmael
      CallMeIshmael
      November 26, 2013 at 9:32 am | #

      I’d ship Danny into the sun. Hell, I’d even pay the cost of freight.

  35. psycoticfart
    psycoticfart
    November 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

    im preety sure dan danning it up is just him danning things up

  36. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    November 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    The fact that I didn’t put 2 and 2 together yesterday makes me feel like a complete moron.

  37. Wensleydale
    Wensleydale
    November 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

    How long until Danny reaches critical Danness? My money’s on less than a second.

  38. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    November 26, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

    You know, I’m actually quite particular to the thong/short shorts combination she’s wearing. Very street punk. I’d wear it if I wear a girl.

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      November 26, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      don’t wear girls they’ll put you in crazyjail

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        I can’t pull off a girl anyway. It just doesn’t go with my figure. And when I wear dudes it just makes me look FAT. Ugh…so hard to figure out what to wear nowadays.

        • GoldStarz
          GoldStarz
          November 26, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

          It’s just so hard to pull of people these days, that’s why I started wearing cacti, they’re much more slimming and they have great protection against people you don’t like!

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          November 26, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

          Have you tried using a crowbar?

          You know… to pull off the girl? 😀

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        November 26, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        But crazyjail is where they wear men! D:

  39. psycoticfart
    psycoticfart
    November 26, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

    how much dan could a danny dan dan if a damny dan could danny dan?

  40. Thanks, I'll Have Another!
    Thanks, I'll Have Another!
    November 26, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

    …I really hate whatever program powers this commenting platform right now.

  41. Biege
    Biege
    November 26, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    …danny, I refuse to believe you’re anywhere near that stupid. please do not dissapoint me…

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      November 26, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

      You have already been disappointed and you don’t even realize it. UoU

      • Biege
        Biege
        November 27, 2013 at 2:40 am | #

        sadly, I realize. but a guy can hope…

  42. Mr K
    Mr K
    November 26, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

    I hope Danny fixes himself up. I feel sorry for him, even if he made some mistakes.

  43. Jake
    Jake
    November 26, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

    Sal enjoys a good metaphor.

    • Arra
      Arra
      November 26, 2013 at 3:26 am | #

      [applauds you]

  44. Regalli
    Regalli
    November 26, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

    … Hmm, so far this is awkward, but not so awful it bursts into flames.

    YOU CAN DO IT, DANNY! I BELIEVE IN YOU!

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      November 26, 2013 at 6:47 pm | #

      ‘Cause I still believe in miracles
      I swear I’ve seen a few
      And the time will surely come
      When you can see my point of view
      I believe in second chances
      And that’s why I believe in you

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        November 26, 2013 at 7:09 pm | #

        Though I do think the version here feels like it wasn’t touched by somebody who believes in all instruments playing at full volume all the time?

  45. Deemah
    Deemah
    November 26, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

    Danny stop, you’re gonna get slugged… Wait go right a head.

  46. Varangian
    Varangian
    November 26, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    That civility is very considerate of you, Sal, thank you.

  47. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    November 26, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

    Okay, Danny, this is it. I am going to give you one last chance. You’re doing okay for now, but this is the last chance you will get from me before I completely give up on you.

    DON’T DAN IT UP.

    • I dont know what to put here
      I dont know what to put here
      November 26, 2013 at 5:13 am | #

      Five bucks ‘e does next panel.

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        November 26, 2013 at 5:38 pm | #

        Next comic he will cure cancer and aids, end all wars, and invent time travel

  48. chris73
    chris73
    November 26, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

    Drawing out the tension…

  49. Bob
    Bob
    November 26, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

    It’s a testament to how well Willis has built the Dumbing of Age universe that the idea of Danny and Sal seems off even after their history in the prior comics.

    • John
      John
      November 26, 2013 at 3:08 am | #

      Honestly, Danny/Sal was pretty weird even in the Walkyverse.

      I chalk it up to Sal being nutballs and valuing Danny for being the only person in the world who was too Danny to see that.

      • Nezumi
        Nezumi
        March 24, 2016 at 12:36 pm | #

        Although, until Billie happened, they were kinda intended to always end up together.

  50. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    November 26, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

    The sagging pants fashion never made sense to me, it just looks like a wardrobe malfunction in progress.

    The worse thing is that sagging originated in prison where a prisoner pulls their pants part way down to show that they are ready for some buttsex with whomever wants it, in other works saggy pants = a (man)slut who’s begging for it.

    Not a good thing for a ‘cool’ gal like Sal to emulate, unless…

    • Derek
      Derek
      November 26, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

      I’m not sure where you got that information from.
      What I understand is that saggy pants DID originate in prison, but it was because prisoners were not allowed belts since some of them would try to commit suicide

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 26, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

        I googled for more info and it turns out I was wrong about sagging pants = wanting buttsex, but it’s still a lameass fashion to me.

        • Compulsive Collector
          Compulsive Collector
          November 26, 2013 at 12:16 pm | #

          Then it’s probably a good thing no one who’s ever worn their pants like that was attempting to impress you, huh?

          • taekwondogirl
            taekwondogirl
            November 26, 2013 at 1:21 pm | #

            +1

    • Archivist
      Archivist
      November 26, 2013 at 1:42 am | #

      Besides, Sal’s more rocking the ‘insanely tight cutoffs’ look.

  51. TPman
    TPman
    November 26, 2013 at 1:40 am | #

    I was going to say, “those are some pants Sal”, but really they’re only half f some pants.

    • Badeyes
      Badeyes
      November 26, 2013 at 1:57 am | #

      I think you need remedial fraction tutoring. Those aren’t even 1/2 a hotpants.

    • Thasvaddef
      Thasvaddef
      November 26, 2013 at 7:18 am | #

      Would half a pair of pants be a single pant?

      • flamelordkay
        flamelordkay
        November 26, 2013 at 12:56 pm | #

        I’m sure someone would be panting.

  52. Tahkuya
    Tahkuya
    November 26, 2013 at 2:05 am | #

    Danny uses awkward introduction, Sal’s defense is reduced. Sal uses Foresight…but it failed!

  53. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    November 26, 2013 at 2:38 am | #

    I agree with Plasmamongoose on the fashion miss-statement. Sagging pants just look like pants that don’t fit, be it on a man or a woman.

    Sal is hot, but that ‘outfit’ is not. Looks like she got dressed in the dark and accidently got somebody’s little sisters pants on.

    As for the unlit cigarette, I knew someone who wandered around with one stuck in their face like that, for about a month, while trying to quit. It didn’t work.

    As to Danny ‘not wanting’ to go talk to her’? Seems to me that is exactly what he does want to do. Even after he talked it over with himself and decided that there are too many discrepancies between the way Amazi-girl and Sal are built, talk, wear their hair, and ‘smell’.

    He actually exhibited common sense for a minute, but then: with Billie’s help, his Dannyness took him over and off he went.

    Sal appears to be just enough interested in what in the Hell he thinks he is doing, to venture a guess that he lost a bet and that is why he is there in front of her.

    I DO NOT ship this. NO, please, pretty please, no. No?
    Oh well. Slow train wreaks are interesting in some universes.

    • That Damn Rat
      That Damn Rat
      November 26, 2013 at 4:09 am | #

      I suspect even Danny is not dense enough to believe she is Amazi-Girl for long. I like to believe he is still skeptical about that, as his seemed decidedly unsure about talking to her.

  54. JA
    JA
    November 26, 2013 at 3:41 am | #

    Screw the leggings, I’m curious as to how the shorts are staying on.

    • That Damn Rat
      That Damn Rat
      November 26, 2013 at 4:06 am | #

      That’s not really that mysterious, they’re obviously quite tight, just ridiculously low cut.

    • John
      John
      November 26, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

      She has ’em stapled to her hipbones.

      Sal is hardcore.

    • JeanD
      JeanD
      November 26, 2013 at 5:05 am | #

      Sal’s fine butt has authentic fabric magnetism 🙂

  55. Jesse
    Jesse
    November 26, 2013 at 4:35 am | #

    You mean “Won a bet”. ;D

  56. I dont know what to put here
    I dont know what to put here
    November 26, 2013 at 5:12 am | #

    Here we goooooo

  57. Janos
    Janos
    November 26, 2013 at 6:29 am | #

    Dumbass thy name is Danny, a Idiot by any other name would still be Danny, Danning of Age…Perhaps Dumbass should now be Dannass… Seriously the hair should be a huge clue this isn’t Amazi-Girl (For Amazi-girl is obviously Faz)

    • Schist
      Schist
      November 26, 2013 at 12:42 pm | #

      Amazi-girl is Faz? I thought it was Jacob in a wig.

  58. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    November 26, 2013 at 6:57 am | #

    Danny does better than I. I don’t have a lot of experience talking to women way out of my league.

  59. Rani
    Rani
    November 26, 2013 at 8:24 am | #

    …you know, he might be the dumbest invertebrate this side of the Grand Canyon but DAMN does that boy have nerve.

    • garblegarble
      garblegarble
      November 26, 2013 at 4:48 pm | #

      can’t tell if it’s nerves of steel, or just a brain of soft clay.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      November 26, 2013 at 8:41 pm | #

      …you mean dumbest vertebrate, right? Like, I get that you’re saying he has no backbone, but that’s kinda directly contradicted by ‘nerves of steel’.

      • Rani
        Rani
        November 26, 2013 at 11:40 pm | #

        He’s spineless because he’s indecisive and paralyzed by self-doubt. He has nerve because once he chooses (or let’s be honest here, is pushed into) a course of action, he doesn’t flinch from following it where-ever it goes.

        In other words, in the animal kingdom of DoA, Mr. Wilcox is our cockroach.

  60. Vree
    Vree
    November 26, 2013 at 8:35 am | #

    Sal’s going to score with the entire cast, isn’t she.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      November 26, 2013 at 5:40 pm | #

      At the same time!
      (Except for Walky, I would hope…)

      • Vree
        Vree
        November 27, 2013 at 12:14 pm | #

        Suddenly, the source of Sal’s mental problems becomes crystal clear.

      • Vree
        Vree
        November 27, 2013 at 12:16 pm | #

        I’m gonna just leave this here.
        http://itswalky.com/d/20011214.html

  61. Animal
    Animal
    November 26, 2013 at 8:38 am | #

    “Ah just like having it in my mouth.”

    …

    0_0

    • Vree
      Vree
      November 26, 2013 at 9:27 am | #

      No, see, in this strip David Willis is cleverly lampooning Groucho Marx. Sal is Marx.
      (Danny’s response had to be cut to protect the T rating.)

  62. omegadez
    omegadez
    November 26, 2013 at 10:22 am | #

    THAT STRING! D:

  63. Nym
    Nym
    November 26, 2013 at 11:15 am | #

    *peeks between fingers*

    Okay, this is not going as terribly as I worried . . . but the week is early yet.

  64. XMinusOne
    XMinusOne
    November 26, 2013 at 11:17 am | #

    Danny thinks it’s Amazing-Girl, but it’ s not.

  65. Galatine
    Galatine
    November 26, 2013 at 11:24 am | #

    I’m really tired of the ‘people confusing Amazi-Girl for someone else’ thing. Just… so, so tired of it. Good job, Danny. You’re really danning up your own life. FFS, they look /nothing alike/.

  66. Charlie Spencer
    Charlie Spencer
    November 26, 2013 at 11:55 am | #

    Sal’s entire outfit should be available in the store.

  67. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    November 26, 2013 at 12:20 pm | #

    Who would have thought you could add suspense to stupidity?

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      November 26, 2013 at 2:48 pm | #

      probably the guys who wrote The Office

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      November 26, 2013 at 6:59 pm | #

      Anybody in the entertainment business ever?

  68. SeanNOLA
    SeanNOLA
    November 26, 2013 at 2:30 pm | #

    X-Men: Origins: Roomies

  69. Bemmie
    Bemmie
    November 26, 2013 at 2:40 pm | #

    Has it occurred to others that Danny knows that Sal isn’t Amazing girl but at this stage is thinking stuff it, I’ve screwed up all my other relationships, might just try again, what have I got to lose?

    -Bem

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      November 26, 2013 at 4:54 pm | #

      With anyone else I might be inclined to think so…but that doesn’t sound like Danny.

    • John
      John
      November 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm | #

      No.

      I’m going to pass up the cheap shot at Danny’s intelligence and perceptiveness and just point out that he seems to be expecting some kind of recognition from Sal here.

  70. kelticat
    kelticat
    November 26, 2013 at 3:26 pm | #

    Meanwhile, I’m thinking that the Walkertons walk by unexpectedly to visit Walky, and Sal’s mom notices the outfit, but doesn’t realize that it is her daughter wearing it. And she gets scandalized and starts bongoing about how standards are sliding in school, and how Walky should never even meet that person. And later all three see Sal dressed like that, and she starts bongoing about it again, and Walky says “But that’s Sal.”

    Not likely to happen…or is it?

  71. KT
    KT
    November 26, 2013 at 4:20 pm | #

    After that last panel, I’ve decided that Sal’s leggings are staying in place because they’re actually attached to her short shorts, like skirt leggings.

    …and the short shorts are only there because otherwise she’d be in a black bikini.

    Her outfit makes so much more sense if she’s really just waiting for Marcie to show up so they can go swimming.

    • ironbillie
      ironbillie
      November 26, 2013 at 11:35 pm | #

      My guess is sock glue. Its all the rage in Japan.

  72. Quietlythundering
    Quietlythundering
    November 26, 2013 at 8:19 pm | #

    DO IT WILLIS 😀

  73. man in black
    man in black
    November 26, 2013 at 8:37 pm | #

    Great page

  74. sarah
    sarah
    November 26, 2013 at 8:50 pm | #

    It might go better than we think and Danny gently finds out that no walkies twin is not amzi-girl and then he starts to think its amber and wouldn’t that be cool

  75. Badeyes
    Badeyes
    November 26, 2013 at 11:41 pm | #

    I’ve been thinking all evening that at some point Danny is going to start carrying around a mask and asking girls to put it on…

  76. Somebody
    Somebody
    November 27, 2013 at 8:10 pm | #

    Ha, she likes having it in her mouth.

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