Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 28, 2026

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by David M Willis on December 7, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: amber, dina, ethan, jacob, joe, joyce, riley, sarah

Discussion (173) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    December 7, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Oh, this is gonna be good.

    • That spoony bard
      That spoony bard
      December 7, 2013 at 9:20 pm | #

      I know, right.

      Also, that line at the end reminds me of this punch line from another comic.
      http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=810

      That line has now ruined sex forever in TWO comics!

  2. Galeus
    Galeus
    December 7, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Margaret Thatcher usually does the trick.

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      December 7, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

      • ironbillie
        ironbillie
        December 7, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        That never works. Next thing you know a Canadian try to be English come in and just dances around in his undies and socks. Strangely no sex though.

    • Barf Ninjason
      Barf Ninjason
      December 7, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

      The scurrilous rogue Adam Carolla once posited that the perfect thought routine for delaying orgasm would be to “picture your grandparents… playing baseball… in Vietnam.”

      • Tachyon
        Tachyon
        December 7, 2013 at 3:20 am | #

        Oh, *that’s* why the grandma thing, huh?

        Well then, I have the perfect solution.

        Ever see The Langoliers? Just keep it playing in the background…

  3. Spack
    Spack
    December 7, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    TMI, Joe

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      December 7, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      He’s channeling his Inner Mike.

      • Spack
        Spack
        December 7, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Does Inner Mike charge Joe an extra nickel for being the middleman with somebody’s grandma?

      • Lilly
        Lilly
        December 7, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Nah, Mike would have said he thinks about your mom and a bag full of nickels, haha.

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        December 7, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Mike will channel your Grandma for a nickel.

    • Guest Person Dude
      Guest Person Dude
      December 7, 2013 at 2:33 am | #

      What. Why. I had reasonable amounts of respect for you. Focus, man, focus!

  4. Bill
    Bill
    December 7, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    It’s Joyce.
    Sweet innocent Joyce.
    Sweet, naive, clueless Joyce.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Sweet, stupid, dumb, ignorant, unintelligent Joyce.

      • asmcint
        asmcint
        December 7, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        HAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 7, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

      The way she manipulated Sarah after Sarah saved her from being raped and right before shopping was neither sweet, naive nor clueless. Did use the APPEARANCE of being sweet, but no.

      She quite expertly threw a fit, withdrew into a seemingly innocent apology, then used her big blue eyes to seem like the more damaged party.

      Neither is barging into people’s rooms without invitation when their friendships are not confirmed “sweet”. Literally getting in somebody’s face to wake them for your petty insecurities is far from sweet.
      Huge signs of being an over indulged, poorly socialized youngest child though.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        December 7, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

        I don’t recall that first example at all. She was almost raped, though. Maybe cut her some slack.

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          December 7, 2013 at 2:25 am | #

          What rational reason would anybody have for cutting her some slack?
          Yes, Joyce was almost raped. It was Sarah who stopped it.
          Which was followed up days later by Joyce yelling at Sarah that Sarah hates her.
          Why? Because Joyce wanted to go buy boots with Billie and Sarah advised against it.
          Yeah, she had a little tantrum and threw out that line to the person who saved her.

          BTW, Joyce has no memory of the rape attempt, so it isn’t the excuse you make it out to be. Others told her what happened, so she certainly knows about Sarah and her bat.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            December 7, 2013 at 2:34 pm | #

            Joyce does have some memory of it. Joyce also explains herself quite clearly, she’s grateful Sarah saved her but being distant and rude the whole time doesn’t indicate friendship. You’ll notice Sarah actually listened and lightened up somewhat after that.

          • Shen Hibiki
            Shen Hibiki
            December 10, 2013 at 6:03 am | #

            I -would- save someone I hate, from rape.
            No matter how much I dislike someone, no one deserves to be raped.

            So yes, she can be saved from rape, and Joyce still gets to yell that Sarah hates her.

            No, I don’t think it was ok. It -was- a petty tantrum. Just pointing out that those things don’t need to be related.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 7, 2013 at 9:36 am | #

      Joyce may be naive, and governed by certain unrealistic points of view, but she strikes me as pretty bright. Sophmoric would be more apt, which most of the cast is to one degree or another.

  5. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 7, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    “Oh GrandMA….. OH!!”

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      December 7, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      “Wait…did you just call me grandma?”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 7, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        I wonder if that’s what happened with Roz.

    • GuruBuckaroo
      GuruBuckaroo
      December 7, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

      “Happy Birthday, Grandma!”

      • bibulb
        bibulb
        December 7, 2013 at 9:30 am | #

        Oh my god, you’ve ruined sex forever!

        • Ocbrad1
          Ocbrad1
          December 7, 2013 at 10:54 am | #

          Nope. That line has already been used!

          • DanMan9820
            DanMan9820
            December 7, 2013 at 3:58 pm | #

            That’s the joke. He was very clearly making a reference to Questionable Content.

            • CleverTrousers
              CleverTrousers
              December 8, 2013 at 11:29 pm | #

              As was Ocbrad1.
              Maybe somebody should memorize their QC archive better.

  6. Ourorboros
    Ourorboros
    December 7, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Get okay with being gay Ethan, go with your friend.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 7, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Yes Ethan, its OK to be gay!

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        December 7, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        And if you WERE gay…

        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=taSH_nZkRdw

        • asmcint
          asmcint
          December 7, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

          That’d be okay… I mean, hey! I like you an-y-way. If you were queer, I’d still be here, year after year! Because you’re dear to me.

          It’s been years since I’ve heard that song, and I still remember that.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        December 7, 2013 at 1:45 am | #

        WHY IS THIS SONG HAUNTING ME

        • Brando
          Brando
          December 7, 2013 at 2:26 am | #

          FUCK YOU PM, FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME REMEMBER THAT BAND EXISTS.
          God DAMN that song is so bad it makes me want to join the Klan, and I’M BI!

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            December 7, 2013 at 4:17 am | #

            Don’t mind me, I’m just sitting back as I bask in your ‘love’.

        • Bill
          Bill
          December 7, 2013 at 3:53 am | #

          Well, if PM hadn’t posted it I would have, so you might as well hate me too.

          • Bill
            Bill
            December 7, 2013 at 3:54 am | #

            Sorry, that was Lokitsu that was on the same wavelength as I was.

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            December 7, 2013 at 5:23 pm | #

            I never said I hated anyone. And I certainly don’t hate the song. I just wish I didn’t encounter it everywhere I went.

      • tom
        tom
        December 7, 2013 at 12:20 pm | #

        WTF, that video just turned me straight. My bf is going to be *so* pissed.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        December 7, 2013 at 2:26 pm | #

        I love that song. Have it on my ipod and everything.

  7. so279
    so279
    December 7, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    4th panel makes a great reaction face.

  8. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    December 7, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Riley, doing her impression of a pirate’s flag while the skeleton was still alive.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 7, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      Well shiver me timbers matey!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 7, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      She’s describing an exciting commercial for Captain Crunch she saw once.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      December 7, 2013 at 2:41 am | #

      Nah she is doing her impression of Don Kanonji

      BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  9. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    December 7, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Keep it classy Joe. We all know you have to maintain somehow.

  10. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    December 7, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Does Joe have a problem with firing off early?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 7, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      You shouldn’t judge him so prematurely. 😀

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 7, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        Don’t try to pull a fast one on him.

    • Cliff
      Cliff
      December 7, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Don’t be so quick to shot shoot out your opinion on him.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      December 7, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

      Don’t ejaculate your opinion all over our faces.

  11. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    December 7, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    So no cereal?

  12. March
    March
    December 7, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Keep it classy, Joe.

    • Lilly
      Lilly
      December 7, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Awww, Joyce hurt Joe’s feelings, haha.

  13. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 7, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Wait, what’s that I hear? Is it the sound of an oncoming trainwreck? I think it is!

    • asmcint
      asmcint
      December 7, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      I hate you for that, and I must now describe why:

      I read a lot of MLP fanfiction, and I used to review it quite frequently with a group on FiMFiction.net called the Train Wreck Explorers. When someone expected that the TWE would hit a fic soon, they’d say they heard trains. Unfortunately, the owner of the site, Knighty, unleashed his +1 Sword of Unnecessary Deletion on the group.

      You brought back a lot of memories with your comment, and now I must hate you for it.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        December 7, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

        Yesh, and they say clopfic readers are crazy. <_< No offense.

  14. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    December 7, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    And so it goes, Ethan is going to keep running into this kind of confrontation. Amazing how small big campus’s can actually be.

    Joe thinks about Grandma’s during sex!!! Okay I’m totally missing this.

    • Cliff
      Cliff
      December 7, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Not sure myself, but I’d assume that it’s done to make him “last longer”. Those quotes weren’t exactly necessary, lol.

  15. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    December 7, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Look at Joyce, looking all self-righteous and shit. It’s those kind of people who think they’re above and purer than everyone else that make my stomach turn.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Someone should flip her smile.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 7, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        Make that triangle point up for a change.

      • JBO
        JBO
        December 7, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        And put a condom cap on her so Kernanator has a new Gravatar!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 7, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

          One new condom hat pic for Kernanator coming up.

          http://i44.tinypic.com/24b5hqh.jpg

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            December 7, 2013 at 2:45 am | #

            wrong character, that’s dina and the request was for joyce.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              December 7, 2013 at 4:14 am | #

              But Kerny already has a condom hated Joyce.

              • Opus the Poet
                Opus the Poet
                December 7, 2013 at 1:19 pm | #

                I’m sure Joyce does hate condoms. They have to do with sex.

    • Cliff
      Cliff
      December 7, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      1. Pretty sure Joyce doesn’t think she’s above and purer than anyone. Hence the reason she’s still keeping friends who aren’t Christians.

      2. It’s pretty clear that YOU find yourself above those kind of people. So what does that comment really say about you? 🙂

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 7, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        1. It’s not impossible to think you’re better than someone and still be friends with them.
        2. The OP never implies he/she thinks better of his/herself. Just that he/she doesn’t like that kind of person. You’re just jumping to conclusions in an attempt to make All Else Falls look like bigoted.

        • Cliff
          Cliff
          December 7, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

          1. To YOUR 1, I say sure. You’re right. It’s not impossible. But it’s pretty damn improbable for someone who thinks they’re, and I quote, “purer” than someone to be friends with them. It’s not like Neo-Nazi and White Supremacists the world over don’t use that exact terminology…oh wait.

          2. If a certain kind of person makes your stomach turn, it’s implicit that you think you’re better than them. The very fact that they drive you to such degrees of dislike guarantees that you think you’re better than them, or have a healthy amount of self loathing and/or lack of self respect.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            December 7, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

            1. to your 1 to my 1. Yeah, but Joyce isn’t a neo-nazi or white supremacist. That’s a pretty extreme example. A VIRGIN could act like she’s purer than you because they’ve been untainted, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be friends with people who have lots of sex. I don’t think it’s improbable at all. You just need to have more FAITH in humans, ya silly!

            2. to your 2 to my 2. Someone can DO something that makes you feel sick but other than that are a good person. I don’t think I’m better than all people that make me a bit sick. I just don’t like some things about people. You just kinda have a negative opinion about people in general…That’s kinda sad, y’know?

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              December 7, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

              3. Tacos.

              • Tenn
                Tenn
                December 7, 2013 at 3:03 am | #

                3.1. Butt-tacos.

            • Mr. Bulbmin
              Mr. Bulbmin
              December 7, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

              Pessimism is the only truth. Sorry to be a bubble burster, but for every positive event there are thirty negative ones. And millions of inconsequential ones, but that’s beside the point.

              If you truly have faith in humanity, you’d better hope your luck is as good as your will. Otherwise, you’ll end up like me: almost everything I like stolen or destroyed, everyone I reach out to an untrustworthy jackass in the end, and the one person who had no ulterior motives and cared for me dead in the ground.

              Yeah. Suck on that ice cold popsicle of awful.

              • Ourorboros
                Ourorboros
                December 7, 2013 at 2:46 am | #

                @Mr Bulbmin,
                If that’s true, I’m very sorry. Truly.
                But although I have been betrayed and stolen from I’ve found a lot of good people. In different times and places I’ve found people who open themselves up to me and formed tight friendships. Some call groups like that “tribes”, families we form without marriage or blood relation.
                From that, I have several “sisters” and a couple “brothers”.
                Yeah, there’s a lot of garbage out there, but that’s not all that’s out there.

                I hope life turns around for you.

                • Mr. Bulbmin
                  Mr. Bulbmin
                  December 7, 2013 at 5:53 pm | #

                  This has been a streak starting from slightly prior to my third birthday. If there was a turnaround, something would have happened to make up for it.

              • Jenny Creed
                Jenny Creed
                December 7, 2013 at 9:49 am | #

                That sucks and all, but in which way does being pessimistic make it better?

                • Mr. Bulbmin
                  Mr. Bulbmin
                  December 7, 2013 at 5:51 pm | #

                  It’s an inevitable result.
                  “The more a man sees of the real world, the less he believes his ideals can come to pass.”

                • Jenny Creed
                  Jenny Creed
                  December 7, 2013 at 7:23 pm | #

                  The real world, I like to remind people, is made up of an accumulated 35 000 000 000 000 000 hours of human experiences. How big would you say the chance is that everything you have seen in your life amounts to a fair and accurate representation of those pentillions of man hours?

                • Mr. Bulbmin
                  Mr. Bulbmin
                  December 8, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

                  Fair?
                  Possibly.
                  Accurate?
                  Bulbmin rule #7: always fact-check, lest you be proven false and stupid.

                  Unless, in my searching, there is something glaring I overlooked, then this is a dark, hateful world. It is primarily inhabited by stupid, selfish people. There are very rare spots of beauty and happiness, and those privy to them often believe that everyone else shares in their joy.

                  Oh, I apologize. Was this something you disliked reading? As I am often told, “Life sucks sometimes. Man up and deal with it, because there is literally not a single person who gives a shit about your problems.” Perhaps it is wrong of me to hold everyone else to the same standards as myself, but I ceased believing that other people should be high on my list of priorities long ago.

                • Jenny Creed
                  Jenny Creed
                  December 8, 2013 at 4:53 am | #

                  There is something glaring you overlooked. I ran the numbers; it’s literally impossible for any one person to even imagine how much the world has to offer, let alone see any representative fraction of it. Your perceptions are necessarily imperfect.

                  Assume that you don’t know what the world is like; that you can’t know, even if you lived for a million years. Remember that there’s large parts of your brain working to a) extrapolating and patternizing your environment to form a complete picture from your limited perceptions, no matter how wrong that picture may be, and b) seeking a sense of affirmation, security and control that comes from having all the answers, independent on actually searching for those answers. And trust that the attitude of pessimism is no more or less valid than the alternatives, only less healthy.

          • Ourorboros
            Ourorboros
            December 7, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

            It’s easy enough. The justification is that she leads and changes by example. Never did like that type.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 7, 2013 at 2:40 am | #

      You might think there’d be some sheepishness about not quite having a boyfriend. But nope.
      Sarah’s right there and she knew right away that Ethan is gay. In fact everybody figures it out right away. So the risk of the relationship being immediately exposed as a sham in an embarrassing sit-com manner is pretty high.
      (Although I don’t anticipate it happening.)
      Nor is there any sheepishness that Ethan doesn’t think about sex around her because she is unattractive to him. He does think about sex though, if our introduction to Jacob as his room mate means anything.

      Lack of anticipation and awareness aside, of course Joyce thinks she’s better than others. It’s part of her upbringing. This way is right, other ways are wrong.
      But, as down as I am about the character, she does start to notice conflicts with the beliefs she was raised with and the real world. With more prodding from Mike she may grow.
      It is Mary who is the dark reflection of Joyce, showing the dark side of that closed world system without trying to see the world and learn for herself.
      She has yet to realize she does some of her thinking with her hormones though. Her only real reasons for being interested in Ethan and Joe.

  16. nothri
    nothri
    December 7, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Joe’s doing the “most interesting man in the world schtick”.

    “I don’t always think about sex, but when I do I set my watch.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      I don’t always think about sex, but when I do, My girl’s got the same idea.

      • nothri
        nothri
        December 7, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

        I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume girl means an actual girl and isn’t a euphemism for your penis.

        • JBO
          JBO
          December 7, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

          Captain Girl as played by Nathan Fillion: “The girl is my penis.”

  17. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    December 7, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Oh god all the awkward tension in this room. There’s definitely still some daggers flying between Amber and Ethan. Like, she has enough problems, but she’s *still* angry with him as well. This kind of thing always makes me realize how very slowly time passes in-universe lol.

  18. Cholma
    Cholma
    December 7, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    [Alt Text] “that moment where you realize a wide shot of a room full of chairs and tables is necessary for storytelling”

    Panel 4 is Willis’ face when he made the realization mentioned in the alt text.

  19. ironbillie
    ironbillie
    December 7, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    So just scrambled eggs for Ethan?

  20. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    December 7, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    Just because he’s not thinking about sex with YOU doesn’t mean he’s not still thinking about it.

    I totally want Joe to catch onto Ethan’s gay vibes and hit on him to prove a point.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      ^^
      Seriousely Ethan. You’re slowly becoming my least favorate DOA character with every passing second.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        December 7, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

        Yeah, same. Granted minor characters like Ryan and Blaine still beat him by a great deal but he might surpass Ruth if he keeps it up.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 7, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

      Joe casually flirting with Ethan would give me so much life. This needs to happen.

    • Nono
      Nono
      December 7, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

      That Joe/Ethan fanart will become reality!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 7, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

      Also if he sat with Joyce, he will be sitting next to Jacob, the roommate he sometimes lusts after.

  21. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    December 7, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

    … Wh… what…? Why… Why would you think about somebody’s Grandma during sex… I don’t understand… Joe…. like… what are you going for here?

    I DON’T GET THIS JOKE!

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      December 7, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      To slow himself down so he doesn’t come too fast, I assume.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 7, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

        Or…what if he’s really INTO grandmas and it speeds him up!?

        • alicemacher
          alicemacher
          December 7, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          Heehee. Touché.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        December 7, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        Baseball is another traditional distraction. And mathematics.

        And I’ve had good results trying to remember all the lyrics to “Yakko’s World.”

        • Mr. Bulbmin
          Mr. Bulbmin
          December 7, 2013 at 2:03 am | #

          A true classic is to bring up your own worst memory.

          . . . It rarely works out well.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 7, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      Well, Mike already taken all the mothers, so grandmas are all’s that left.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 7, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

        He’s only a poor college student, he doesn’t have enough nickels left.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 7, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

          Grandmas are happy enough with pennys.

          • JBO
            JBO
            December 7, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

            Noo, mothers would also be satisfied with pennys, but Mike in his endless generosity pays them in nickels.

            • MrSmiley
              MrSmiley
              December 7, 2013 at 2:10 am | #

              wait I thought mike was getting the nickels…

              • begbert2
                begbert2
                December 8, 2013 at 7:05 pm | #

                No, mike is paying the nickel to your mother, for sex. This is because your mom is a prostitute. See? Simple.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        December 7, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

        Illogical, as every grandmother is also a mother.

        • Barf Ninjason
          Barf Ninjason
          December 7, 2013 at 2:13 am | #

          Whoa-oa-oa. Dude.

  22. Varangian
    Varangian
    December 7, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    JOYCE STOP MAKING ME SHIP YOU AND JOE, JUST STOP IT

    also augh every time I see Amber I think back to how stupid Danny is being and I cringe

    Is this what the rest of the commenters feel like ALL THE TIME????

    • Tahkuya
      Tahkuya
      December 7, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

      yes…the ship part not as much

    • KKoro
      KKoro
      December 7, 2013 at 1:03 pm | #

      Seeing Amber makes me think of how stupid Amber is being, and I cringe.

      I wait until I see Danny to worry about his idiocy.

  23. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 7, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

    I’ve got a nice boyfriend who winces like he’s just seen a murder scene when he sees me.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 7, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

      Oh that’s his reaction to seeing Joyce? I was thinking it was his reaction to seeing Amber. But yours probably makes more sense. Though neither of them is probably high on his list of people he wants to hang out with currently lol.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 7, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

        Actually he does want to reconnect with Amber. She was the one who asked for space, given the events of spring and summer.

      • nothri
        nothri
        December 7, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

        I thought he was checking out Joe myself.

      • John
        John
        December 7, 2013 at 2:35 am | #

        He wants to see both of them, but, for different reasons, doesn’t want either of them to see him seeing the other one, I think – Joyce because she’ll be jealous of Amber, Amber because she’ll want to know what the hell he’s doing still stringing Joyce along.

        Y’know, if there’d been an election for DoA Guy Least Likely To Be In The Middle Of A “Torn Between Two Women” Plot, my vote totally would have gone to the guy who doesn’t even like women.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      December 7, 2013 at 5:28 pm | #

      I thought you were talking about yourself for a second there, Yotomoe.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 7, 2013 at 10:30 pm | #

        You know durn well I’m single!

  24. chris73
    chris73
    December 7, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

    Ethan needs to stop being so damn selfish

  25. Fuzzydaemon
    Fuzzydaemon
    December 7, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

    Ethan’s got to run the Amber gauntlet first.

    It would be so great if Joe hit on him. Or Jacob.

  26. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 7, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

    Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    No connection to today’s strip.
    (Finals are over for me.)
    oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

  27. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    December 7, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

    Hark, the herald angel, has sent thou a gift. BEHOLD, THE RETURN OF THE MOUTH TRIANGLE!!!

  28. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    December 7, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

    Is that Mac and Cheese? Isn’t it rare for Mac and Cheese day to be the same as Taco Day?

    • All Else Fails
      All Else Fails
      December 7, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      That’s obviously a ripple taco. Wait… DO THOSE EVEN EXIST???

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 7, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

      I thought it was a big hash-brown.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

      Omg…tacos with Mac and cheese instead of cheese…HAS THIS BEEN DONE?

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        December 7, 2013 at 2:32 am | #

        Yes, this exists http://blogchef.net/mac-and-cheese-tacos-recipe/

      • Logician
        Logician
        December 7, 2013 at 7:30 am | #

        The Macatacahodo 360: it’s been done in webcomics!

    • John
      John
      December 7, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

      It’s a sponge.

  29. nothri
    nothri
    December 7, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    So wait…is imagining having sex with grandmothers or….

    Cause I thought that was his father’s job! HAYOOOOOO.

  30. TaintedSpud
    TaintedSpud
    December 7, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

    Wow. I kinda want to punch Joyce. I mean, being an idiot is all well and good, but a smug idiot? *glances over* Damn Gravitar!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

      Joyce is so smug that she still smiles, even though she knows how much you hate her.

    • newllend
      newllend
      December 7, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

      Ya, I hate her cocky ass too, at first I felt sorry for her because I thought Ethan toying her emotions, now she’s just asking for it

  31. Mr K
    Mr K
    December 7, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    Joyce, it’s probably best to break up with Ethan instead of continuing this relationship. I bet Dorothy is a much better girlfriend. Or Billie, she’s kinda desperate.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

      Or…here’s a thought. A straight dude. I guess there’s just not enough dude main characters.

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        December 7, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

        Well, what’s the fun with that?

      • zach
        zach
        December 7, 2013 at 6:06 pm | #

        Well, is it cannon that she’s crushing on Dorothy or is that just in the fanfics?

        • Mr K
          Mr K
          December 7, 2013 at 6:39 pm | #

          Walky said so. And she was a bit unhappy to see Dorothy leave for schoolwork.

        • John
          John
          December 8, 2013 at 2:05 am | #

          Not entirely clear. There’s definitely evidence that supports the idea, but nothing that’s really conclusive. Nor is there any evidence that conclusively rules it out.

          However, there’s no evidence that Dorothy is anything but straight.

  32. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    December 7, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    Really? I thought you were supposed to think about football during sex.

    • zach
      zach
      December 7, 2013 at 6:03 pm | #

      All those big sweaty men rubbing up against each other…. Try flag football, make it last.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        December 8, 2013 at 7:13 pm | #

        If that’s what you call rubbing, then masturbation must be a memorable experience for you.

        …though they do call it “spanking the monkey”; perhaps I’m the one who’s doing it wrong?

  33. newllend
    newllend
    December 7, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    Ooh the look of confliction, and I Don’t think he doesn’t think of sex, maybe he doesn’t think of sex with joyce? Haha man why won’t this end

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 7, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

      Willis feeds on pain and frustration and lesbians.

  34. newllend
    newllend
    December 7, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

    Don’t we all?

  35. John
    John
    December 7, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

    So is Riley hovering like a vulture because of the distinct chair shortage preventing her from actually sitting with the cool older kids who invited her to their table?

    Fazface doesn’t look good on Joyce. Honestly, Fazface doesn’t look good on anyone, but at least on Faz you can punch it and punch it until it caves in and the moths and lies come out of his head. Wait, no, that was just in my fanfic.

    Ethan…… just drop your tray, scream gibberish at the top of your lungs, and run out. It’s your best option at this point.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      December 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm | #

      It’s the Faz virus. It’ll soon affect everyone.

      • zach
        zach
        December 7, 2013 at 6:01 pm | #

        Don’t say such things.

        • Mr K
          Mr K
          December 7, 2013 at 6:46 pm | #

          Soon everybody will start using graphs to communicate.

  36. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    December 7, 2013 at 2:44 am | #

    Yay! Riley and Dina are still hanging out! 😀

  37. NF
    NF
    December 7, 2013 at 7:26 am | #

    “During sex I try to think about somebody’s grandma.”

    Eww.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      December 7, 2013 at 12:14 pm | #

      I hope he was joking. Dude, that’s a huge boner killer.

      • chris73
        chris73
        December 7, 2013 at 3:19 pm | #

        Depends on the grandma…

      • Dr.Midnight
        Dr.Midnight
        December 7, 2013 at 4:52 pm | #

        That’s sort of the point…

        • chris73
          chris73
          December 7, 2013 at 5:43 pm | #

          I humbly disagree:

          http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1036785/What-men-REALLY-think–Helen-Mirren-bikini-62.html

          • Mr K
            Mr K
            December 7, 2013 at 5:54 pm | #

            Dude, you linked to the Daily Fail? What’s your problem?

            • chris73
              chris73
              December 7, 2013 at 5:57 pm | #

              I’m not from the UK so I don’t know their newspapers but its a rather fetching pic of Dame Helen Mirren

          • tahrey
            tahrey
            December 9, 2013 at 4:32 am | #

            That picture worries me. Or more accurately, my reaction to it does.

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        December 7, 2013 at 5:20 pm | #

        It is a technique he uses so he doesn’t cum as quickly as he would.

  38. hof1991
    hof1991
    December 7, 2013 at 9:46 am | #

    No, don’t feel sorry for Joyce. She’s getting everything she wants and asks for from Ethan and is basically blackmailing him to get it.

    Amber OTOH is being buried in bad things. Blaine, Faz, Danny and now Ethan. A clueless roommate. No one to talk to or confide in. Will she get even sadder when Ethan walks past or will she go all AG on him in public?

    • Nym
      Nym
      December 7, 2013 at 9:30 pm | #

      “and is basically blackmailing him to get it.”
      How is he being blackmailed into it? Their relationship may be a terrible decision, but it’s something they both decided to try.

  39. Pat
    Pat
    December 7, 2013 at 10:04 am | #

    CAFETERIAS ARE THE ENEMY OF ALL COMICS.

  40. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    December 7, 2013 at 11:54 am | #

    Ethan, what you have here is your garden variety No-Win situation.
    But you knew that.

  41. DiDi
    DiDi
    December 7, 2013 at 12:48 pm | #

    Ah, working on your staying power eh, Joe?

  42. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    December 7, 2013 at 3:34 pm | #

    I was going to make a joke that Ethan does think about sex, just not sex with woman, but this is Ethan, even during sex he’s thinking of Dinobot.

  43. man in black
    man in black
    December 7, 2013 at 10:09 pm | #

    Great page

  44. Yet Another Laura H.
    Yet Another Laura H.
    December 8, 2013 at 11:16 am | #

    Oh, Joe. The enlightened loved does not think of it as “premature ejaculation” so much as “automatic second go-round.”

  45. tahrey
    tahrey
    December 9, 2013 at 4:13 am | #

    I’m pretty certain I saw this one done as a joke on a repeat of “Mock the Week” last night 😀

    • tahrey
      tahrey
      December 9, 2013 at 4:31 am | #

      Also, classic:
      http://mjhibbett.bandcamp.com/track/if-youre-too-turned-on

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