Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 18, 2026

Manic

by David M Willis on January 2, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: joyce, sarah

Discussion (237) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    January 2, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    wow uh Joyce… calm down

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      January 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      She’s going critical!

      • Parnifia the Bastard
        Parnifia the Bastard
        January 2, 2014 at 9:43 am | #

        MINI-CRITS!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 2, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      This would have never happened if she dated Dotty instead.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        January 2, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        Or Sal’s bike.

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          January 2, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

          Or her magnificent hair

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            January 2, 2014 at 11:20 pm | #

            Your avatar is strangely suited to that comment.

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      January 2, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Sorry Joyce, did you say crazy *ex*-girlfriend?

      • That Damn Rat
        That Damn Rat
        January 2, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        forms a nice match set with his crazy current girlfriend

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          January 2, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

          One day, Joyce, YOU’LL be the crazy ex-girlfriend, and you’ll look back on all of this and laugh.

          • Sageress
            Sageress
            January 2, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

            Maniacally laugh

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            January 2, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

            And then stab everything.

            • Schadetj
              Schadetj
              January 2, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

              Best gravatar.

            • UnspeakableAnger
              UnspeakableAnger
              January 2, 2014 at 7:09 am | #

              But with WHOSE femurs?

          • StClair
            StClair
            January 2, 2014 at 5:40 pm | #

            and laugh and laugh and laugh hooo boy

  2. Karkat-san
    Karkat-san
    January 2, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    At first I thought Sarah was totally coppin’ Joyce’s boob.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      January 2, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      W-…where?

      • GoldStarz
        GoldStarz
        January 2, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        I think he means the final panel

      • Karkat-san
        Karkat-san
        January 2, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Oh, haha… Last panel. They way Joyce’s arms were up and the face she was making sorta suggested something at first glance before I fully read through the whole thing.

        … nevermind that it was Joyce’s hand, it would make no sense, and it was the wrong skintone. But the heart wants what it wants…

    • maarvarq
      maarvarq
      January 2, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Attractive a thought as that is, which panel gave you that idea?

  3. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    January 2, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    And Joyce just had a stroke, great :/

  4. Kladeos
    Kladeos
    January 2, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Poor Sarah. Always looking our for Joyce, never vice versa.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Joyce said she’d do this before the whole Ethan drama bomb exploded.

      • John
        John
        January 2, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

        Hell, she was trying to do it even before she knew Sarah was familiar with Jacob.

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          January 2, 2014 at 3:16 pm | #

          And look how it all worked out!

  5. JebJeb
    JebJeb
    January 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Hey look at it from a certain perspective Joyce! Your gay boyfriend says he loves a woman more than anyone else. That’s progress!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      January 2, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      It’s just not you! But he likes you enough to date you. Just doesn’t love you enough to not want to dissapoint you!

      • JebJeb
        JebJeb
        January 2, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        And really that’s all you really need in a marriage!

      • Charles RB
        Charles RB
        January 2, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

        YEahhhh, Ethan _has_ kneecapped the relationship doing that, hasn’t he?

        • Jenny Creed
          Jenny Creed
          January 2, 2014 at 7:15 am | #

          When I think of Ethan and Joyce’s relationship, I’m picturing Spore, in the second stage of the game where you get legs and stuff, only they decided to skip the legs and arms and eyes and just made a shapeless blob that wiggles around in a tiny colorless world, hoping to maybe bump into something it can eat before it starves to death.

          So, like, what kneecap.

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            January 2, 2014 at 11:16 am | #

            Hold my breath as I wish for death~ Oh please, God, wake meeee!

  6. AHR
    AHR
    January 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Heh, yeah, we never saw Joyce’s reaction to this…

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      January 2, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      I completely forgot about it myself. Then I read this and I’m like “Oh yeah…that happened too!”. MEANWHILE Blaine is teaching Danny how to devour children and throw force lightning.

      • Karkat-san
        Karkat-san
        January 2, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        Or maybe throwing children and devouring lightning. Either is really possible.

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          January 2, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

          Well, he doesn’t need to teach Danny how to fuck up Amber’s life — Danny’s got that part down already.

          • ShaggyDonahugh
            ShaggyDonahugh
            January 2, 2014 at 2:59 am | #

            Hey now, Amber’s life was already:
            A) fucked up in the first place and
            B) She fucked it more by forcing him into an uncomfortable position while he was already “dating someone else (amazigirl). In this situation, Danny is no more than a very poorly placed chess piece in her broken brain.

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              January 2, 2014 at 10:24 am | #

              Yeah, it’s more that Amber is actively using Danny to fuck her own life up. It’s sort of like he’s the bull she brought into her china shop – though suffice to say, he’s very good at spinning around and unknowingly and unintentionally smashing everything in sight.

        • Historyman68
          Historyman68
          January 2, 2014 at 7:33 am | #

          Eat lightning and crap thunder!

          • brionl
            brionl
            January 2, 2014 at 12:34 pm | #

            Shit fire and save matches.

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          January 2, 2014 at 5:18 pm | #

          Devour lightning and throw up children.

      • Pat
        Pat
        January 2, 2014 at 3:03 pm | #

        I thought that said “chicken” and I did not understand.

    • D
      D
      January 2, 2014 at 5:34 pm | #

      I actually had to reread the last month to figure out what she was talking about. >_>;;

  7. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    “Don’t worry, you’ll be totally sexy! Now where do you keep your sweater-vests?”

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      January 2, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      Love this!

    • Seerow
      Seerow
      January 2, 2014 at 1:25 pm | #

      I was wondering if anyone was going to comment on what Joyce thought would constitute a “hot outfit”

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        January 2, 2014 at 11:44 pm | #

        Something heavily insulated, obviously.

  8. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    January 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    oh, so she’s taking it quite well after all

    so did Riley ever get her Cocoa Puffs? i feel like we’re lacking closure on that important point

    • David Herbert
      David Herbert
      January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I think she had them in the strip Dina introduced her to Amber.

    • captainswift
      captainswift
      January 2, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      In my fanon, Riley always has plentiful Cocoa Puffs. And Cap’n Crunch, if she so desires.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        January 2, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        With Riley DeSanto on the case, Soggies will never rule!

        • Jay Eff
          Jay Eff
          January 2, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          Correction: “Soggies may never rule”

          • GoldStarz
            GoldStarz
            January 2, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

            I now demand that when Dumbing of Age ends whenever, the sequel be this universe’s equivalent of “It’s Walky” about an older Riley fighting the Soggies.

            • MM
              MM
              January 2, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

              Awesome though that would be, it still probably couldn’t live up to Breakfast of the Gods.

            • John
              John
              January 2, 2014 at 2:04 am | #

              It’d be called “Nomming of Age”. It’d just be four identical panels each day of Riley eating cereal with clear “-crunchcrunchcrunch-” sound effects. Then there’d be a plot twist where she got up and walked off-panel to get more cereal.

              Later, LAWsome crossover!

              • GoldStarz
                GoldStarz
                January 2, 2014 at 2:33 am | #

                The final comic would be of Cap’n Crunch joining her with a bowl of congratulatory cereal for killing all of the soggies by eating delicious Cap’n Crunch, only, PLOT TWIST, she was eating Lucky Charms the whole time, so Soggies may still rule. Then the next sequels “Riley and Cereal!” and “Unboxed!” follow up on very loose plot threads still hanging from her cereal eating adventures.

              • Narf
                Narf
                January 3, 2014 at 10:25 am | #

                Oh my god I love this so much.

                Nomming of Age, with delicious cereal every day forever. 😀

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        January 2, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        I’m sure in the alternate universe she is allowed to marry a Cereal Tycoon.

        • Bill
          Bill
          January 2, 2014 at 4:37 am | #

          Which of the series would have her facing a cereal killer?
          (slinks off in shame after that abominable pun)

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            January 2, 2014 at 9:44 pm | #

            Your joke is bad and you should feel bad!

  9. Thanks, I'll Have Another!
    Thanks, I'll Have Another!
    January 2, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Fallout intensifies

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      January 2, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      That’s some Fallout, Boy.

  10. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    January 2, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Yes, Joyce, Ethan loves Amber more than you. Ethan loves penis more than you. You’re merely a means to regain control. try dating Danny instead, it’d be funny.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      January 2, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Or Dorothy. We all know you want her.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        January 2, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        Or Sal. We all know you want her as well. Because you have a pulse.

        • Mr K
          Mr K
          January 2, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          Everybody wants Sal. Even herself.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          January 2, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

          Why not all of the above? XD

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      January 2, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      You are tool in the saddest way, Joyce.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        January 2, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

        Like, pliers sad.

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      January 2, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      try dating Danny instead, it’d be funny.

      Ohhhh, no. Not that again!

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        January 2, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

        She’s never dated Danny before. They’d be a swirling vortex of ever expanding bad decisions and obliviousness. It will be beautiful.

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          January 2, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

          It happens in the Walkyverse. Your prediction is fairly accurate, too!

          • GoldStarz
            GoldStarz
            January 2, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

            That wasn’t dating, that was stalking.

    • The Candyman
      The Candyman
      January 2, 2014 at 7:44 am | #

      Hell, she might even be better off with Mike.

      • Keroshino
        Keroshino
        January 2, 2014 at 11:32 am | #

        A Joyce and Mike pairing?
        …Perish the thought!!!!

  11. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    January 2, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Maybe Joyce should go out with Jacob instead.

    • Graq
      Graq
      January 2, 2014 at 2:49 am | #

      That… might actually make some kind of sense

      • nekobawt
        nekobawt
        January 2, 2014 at 9:07 am | #

        except for the part where jacob is a heterosexual male who–and this may not become a relevant plotpoint in THIS universe–in another universe was a sex addict. or someone with an addictive personality which focused on sex. one of those.

        what i’m getting at is jacob probably likes sex, which is totally not what joyce is emotionally equipped to handle in a guy at this point.

        • Josh
          Josh
          January 2, 2014 at 12:04 pm | #

          I’m sure Jacob could… change her mind. 😉

        • Graq
          Graq
          January 2, 2014 at 4:41 pm | #

          Actually knowing about Shortpacked! Jacob’s sex addiction made me think this would make sense, at least in a way. Both Joyce and Ethan are in this relationship to avoid having to deal with sexual urges (“mutual aversion to fucking”, if you will), but their end goals or at least ideal end goals aren’t served by it. Joyce’s ideal end game is marriage, and for Ethan that would mean a lifetime of pretending to be something he’s not for the sake of others, mainly his parents. And Joyce would be in a marriage with a man who could never give a full romantic and sexual relationship. If Ethan and Joyce were in some kind of agreement whereby Joyce just hangs out with him as beard, that would be one thing, but that’s not what this situation is exactly. Joyce has an expectation that with enough patience and prayer Ethan will one day be her perfect Christian husband instead of a gay jewish man.

          Now consider a recovering sex addict Jacob and this Joyce. Joyce isn’t comfortable escalating to anything sexual yet. If Jacob entered into the relationship respecting that, then it would actually give Jacob the chance to engage with someone emotionally for a long time without the expectation of sex. The difference between this and the Ethan scenario is that eventually they could have mutually compatible end goals. Once Jacob has worked on his relationship to sex enough that he can engage it in a healthy manner, he would have an strong, established relationship to have it in a with a person who would know where he’s coming from if he needs to stop. Joyce would have a romantic relationship with someone of a compatible orientation when she herself felt ready to move on to sexual contact.

          Obviously, this all hypothetical and would riddled with it’s own problems, but it’s what I thought of at the idea of Joyce/Jacob.

          • Graq
            Graq
            January 2, 2014 at 5:01 pm | #

            Did… did I just make the longest post in the comments section with a meandering bunch of speculation only tangentially related to today’s comic? I, I think I may need to lie down.

            • ninja_jesus
              ninja_jesus
              January 2, 2014 at 8:10 pm | #

              Welcome to the club! Food and drinks are available. 🙂

  12. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    January 2, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    I misread the 1st panel as “Sarah, I’m gonna find you a hotdog suit”

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      January 2, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “Then Jacob will finally notice your buns!!”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 2, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        +1 LIKE

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        January 2, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

        “Afterwards I’ll wear it. Ethan loves wieners, after all!”

      • Narf
        Narf
        January 3, 2014 at 10:27 am | #

        Ahahaha!! This comment wins.

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      January 2, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      That’s something you save for the wedding night.

    • Matt
      Matt
      January 2, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Well, that does get attention from boys… and girls… and passing animals. A walking hot dog is hard to ignore.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      January 2, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      That’s how I start every conversation with my friends.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        January 2, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        Good thing all your friends are named Sarah.

  13. newllend
    newllend
    January 2, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    I almost thought that two, I was about to say.

  14. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    So, she heard that, did she?

    • Matt
      Matt
      January 2, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      It would be pretty hard to have missed, you know, since Ethan was talking to Amber and Amber only being held back from Joyce by Sarah.

  15. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Sooooulcrush~

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      January 2, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      MIND CRUSH!

      • Rando
        Rando
        January 2, 2014 at 5:43 am | #

        Candy Crush!

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          January 2, 2014 at 11:06 am | #

          The Crushinator!

  16. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Ah Joyce, always worrying about the wrong flippin’ thing.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      January 2, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      I dunno. If that was something MY boyfriend just said in front of me I’d be pretty mad too. Of course…I’d be in the same boat as him because I’m ALSO not gay.

      • AJBulldis
        AJBulldis
        January 2, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        Have you and your boyfriend thought about seeing other people?

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          January 2, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

          I see other people all the time. There’s one. There’s another. I see like three across the room. What’s your point?

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            January 2, 2014 at 11:03 am | #

            Are any of them dead?

            • Sageress
              Sageress
              January 2, 2014 at 6:31 pm | #

              they will be

              • ninja_jesus
                ninja_jesus
                January 2, 2014 at 8:11 pm | #

                Not very helpful; we all will be. 😛

                • anonymous
                  anonymous
                  January 2, 2014 at 9:59 pm | #

                  Very soon if Sageress has anything to do with it.

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        January 2, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

        Point taken, Yotomoe. It’s just that Joyce’s concern is overlooking that she’s dating a closeted gay guy. Plus does she even recall what Amber said about defending him when he came out? She’s not just an ex-girlfriend, Joyce.

        Then again Joyce is overly love-crazy. Marriage priorities and all that.

        • Frogger
          Frogger
          January 2, 2014 at 8:09 am | #

          Joyce only latched onto the whole love comment. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. I mean, it’s not like Ethan flirted with another man at all. …*shifty look*

        • Jelli
          Jelli
          January 2, 2014 at 10:27 am | #

          Have Ethan ever told Joyce that he came out? From Joyce’s perspective, Amber is the complete crazy who flipped a table, tried to physically assault her and then yelled about some stuff Joyce knew nothing about?

          Yeah I put the vast majority of the blame for Joyce and Ethan’s relationship on Ethan. Way to screw up two girls, dude. What to go for a third?

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            January 2, 2014 at 11:01 am | #

            OH NO NOT DINA!

          • Frogger
            Frogger
            January 2, 2014 at 9:22 pm | #

            I share that sentiment on the relationship blaming. I don’t think anyone should say that the blame should be equal. Joyce’s reasoning is understandable. Annoying, but understandable. Ethan’s reasoning is so infuriating.

            I get that people are scared. But he was already out, he had a support system from Amber and he crapped on it at (pretty much) the first opportunity. I still find it pretty crappy that he never stood up to his mother regarding Amber.

            This relationship will never work out. I’m willing to bet that Joyce will be the one hurting more, depending on the situation and what happens of course.

  17. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    God creates man. Man creates Monkey Master. Dina loves dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat God.

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      January 2, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Dinosaurs eat Mary. Mary destroys dinosaurs.

      • anonymous
        anonymous
        January 2, 2014 at 10:04 pm | #

        Is the intensity of her perpetual rage enough to overcome the stomach acids of a dinosaur? I think it would depend on which dinosaur.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      January 2, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      Dinosaurs become smarter, creates an underground empire and create Mechasaurus to rule Man.

      • Kiggy
        Kiggy
        January 2, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

        Man builds Getter Robo to defeat smart dinosaurs.

        • Ikaru
          Ikaru
          January 2, 2014 at 6:27 am | #

          Either way, women inherit the earth.

  18. PureFedora
    PureFedora
    January 2, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Someone hug poor Joyce. Someone hug her now.

    • MM
      MM
      January 2, 2014 at 1:22 am | #

      Not sure that’s safe at the moment. We should probably plop her in front of the TV and turn on cartoons instead.

    • TaintedSpud
      TaintedSpud
      January 2, 2014 at 2:22 am | #

      Nah, I’d rather watch her go into meltdown.

      • kelticat
        kelticat
        January 2, 2014 at 11:21 am | #

        Munch, Munch, Munch. Want some popcorn?

  19. Shade
    Shade
    January 2, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Of course he does, even if he wasn’t gay, they’ve grown up together and you’ve only been dating for like less than a week.

    • newllend
      newllend
      January 2, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Yet she already talking about marriage. How does somebody think like that?

      • Matt
        Matt
        January 2, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

        Haven’t you ever experienced *~true love~* ? Basically what I’m saying is Joyce is like a 13 year old girl who thinks her first boyfriend is the most perfect boyfriend ever and they’ll be happy foreverrrr.

        • gangler
          gangler
          January 2, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          Well, second boyfriend. She was talking about kids with Joe before this though, so there’s that.

          Really I think she’s just been very hardwired into thinking of dating as the pursuit of a Happily Ever After, and thinking of Married with Children as that happily ever after. I personally bet that if you asked her why somebody might date in a scenario where marriage was not being considered, she would only be able to imagine sinful motivations.

          • nekobawt
            nekobawt
            January 2, 2014 at 9:16 am | #

            at first i thought you were referring to Married… with Children, which i grew up watching, but never confused with the ideal marital state. although al and peggy, for all the bickering, were happy together as a couple, i guess.

        • kelticat
          kelticat
          January 2, 2014 at 11:23 am | #

          Like Anna in “Frozen”

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        January 2, 2014 at 9:31 am | #

        Joyce is ALWAYS thinking marriage. it’s the whole reason she’s here and the motivation behind every interaction with a new guy.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      January 2, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      152 hours! That’s practically married!

      • Kirby
        Kirby
        January 2, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Common law married is only 61,360.7 hours! So, close enough, right?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 2, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        But it’s still shorter than Carmen Electra/Dennis Rodman’s marriage.

        • Jon P
          Jon P
          January 2, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

          But longer than Britney Spears and Kevin whats-his-face.

          • Mr K
            Mr K
            January 2, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

            The only thing he was worse at then relationships was rapping.

          • Historyman68
            Historyman68
            January 2, 2014 at 7:38 am | #

            Britney and K-Fed lasted longer than that. Now Britney and Jason Alexander, that was a five-minute marriage.

            I’m still eternally sad that it wasn’t Seinfeld’s Jason Alexander she married.

            • nekobawt
              nekobawt
              January 2, 2014 at 9:18 am | #

              well that jason alexander was certainly WAY more talented than kevin federwurst or whatever his name was.

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 2, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      Joyce has very specific ideas about how love and romance work that aren’t really grounded in anything real.

      If Amber was an ex-wife Joyce would have trouble processing the notion that Ethan and Amber aren’t still soulmates forever. Came up when she found out about Joe’s divorced parents.

      “They stopped dating so they must not love eachother” actually seems like a much easier and more intuitive mistake to make as she initially enters the dating scene. Pretty sure that one’s been made by people in much better situations than her.

      Aside from that, seems like the sort of thing that might be pretty hard to hear even when you understand why it is.

      • Shade
        Shade
        January 2, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

        I get the unreasonable expectations, but surely Joyce also recognises that there’s more forms of love than just romantic.

        • gangler
          gangler
          January 2, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

          Well sure. She’s probably aware of familial love and love between friends, but she seems pretty committed to the notion that romantic love is the one you direct towards your significant other. I can see why “I love you more than anyone” directed towards an ex-girlfriend might not immediately sound like “You’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world” to Joyce’s ears.

          Really I don’t think that’s what most people would hear in that scenario. The whole statement reads quite intuitively as an exchange between a madly in love couple who have simply come against irreconcilable differences. It’s pretty close to the case, too. Ethan really would’ve married Amber if he thought there was same way he could circumvent the bedroom issues. Amber’s pretty much his nonsexual soulmate. Even if romance isn’t quite the right word for it that’s something that would intimidate a lot of people.

  20. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    January 2, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    So she hasn’t changed at all, just hiding it.

  21. Chupabarbara
    Chupabarbara
    January 2, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    I’m glad to realize they’ve been dating less than a week.

    I feel like Joyce and my 14 year old Xanga entries would have common ground.

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 2, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      I’m pretty sure 152 hours is the number of hours they’ve actually spent dating, rather than the number of hours that have passed since they started dating.

      • Kirby
        Kirby
        January 2, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        I think it’s probably the number of hours since they’ve been dating. Joyce strikes me as an ‘I’ve had a boyfriend for x hours now’ type…

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          January 2, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          She’s literally said something along the lines of “my boyfriend for 48 hours.”

          • Kas
            Kas
            January 2, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

            Yeah, something along those lines, back when they were at Galasso’s with Dorothy and Walky. I think Willis said in the alt-text that she started counting from when they held hands in church.

      • Kladeos
        Kladeos
        January 2, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        No, they’ve only been dating a few days at this point.

        152 hours of actual dates is… A lot of dates.

        • gangler
          gangler
          January 2, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

          Ah, good point then. Nevermind.

        • Squib
          Squib
          January 2, 2014 at 10:15 am | #

          Or one really awesome date…

        • Josh
          Josh
          January 2, 2014 at 11:45 am | #

          152 hours is a little over 6 days, I doubt it’s that many dates.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            January 2, 2014 at 5:42 pm | #

            I suspect that most people don’t spend more than 8 hours on a single date (because they have other obligations, and also have to sleep some time), so at least 19 dates.

          • Kladeos
            Kladeos
            January 2, 2014 at 6:51 pm | #

            152 hours in actual dates, not time elapsed since they first started dating, is either many many dates or more than a few overnighters.

      • Chupabarbara
        Chupabarbara
        January 2, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        I’m not sure, considering she has the dating maturity of a 14 year old I would think she would count it as “hours I can say I’ve had a boyfriend” rather than “time spent with Ethan.”

        On that note, even if you averaged 6 hours of them spending time together whenever they see each other (which is pretty generous), math doesn’t add up.

        • Sandman
          Sandman
          January 2, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

          25 1/3 days, so slightly under a month for 6 hours each day. It is possible, but only if there has been a lot of time ‘off screen.’

          • JJ
            JJ
            January 2, 2014 at 8:46 am | #

            No it’s not. It’s been stated they’re on their third weekend, and you still have to count for the days before she first went to church with Ethan.

            On her first weekend she went to church with Dorothy, Mary and Sierra. On the second she took Ethan there. So the “less than 1 week” count holds up.

  22. that_guy_from_that_place
    that_guy_from_that_place
    January 2, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Did anyone else think this would end with a “Joyce doesn’t know how to interact with black people” gag, and not a “Joyce doesn’t know how to deal with adult relationships” punchline?

    • Taara
      Taara
      January 2, 2014 at 2:24 am | #

      I thought it was gonna end in a “how do you expect to land a man if you have no denim jumpers” punchline.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      January 2, 2014 at 12:41 pm | #

      Maybe she just doesn’t know how to deal w black people and adult relationships at the same time. She can do either one if it’s one-at-a-time.

  23. newllend
    newllend
    January 2, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    You know who would probably bring order to all this, or make it more entertaining? Mike.

  24. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    January 2, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Nice paraphrase on Jurassic Park Wonder Wig

    • Jason
      Jason
      January 2, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      Oh dear, have you still not found the Reply links? They’re right under the commenter’s names next to the date and time stamps. See ’em???

  25. Mr K
    Mr K
    January 2, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Given all the drama that’s been happening lately, I wonder what the next surprise will be. Maybe Joe and Roz come out as Asexuals?

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      January 2, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      Jacob arranges an intervention for Joe’s sex addiction.

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        January 2, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

        Dina confesses her love for Amber.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          January 2, 2014 at 4:59 am | #

          …As they ramp off of an uncompleted elevated highway during the climactic car chase?

          • Keroshino
            Keroshino
            January 2, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

            Worth it!

  26. Nothri
    Nothri
    January 2, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Sad part is this is a nice change of place from the stealth racism storyline.

    • chris73
      chris73
      January 2, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      Or Blaine…

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        January 2, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        Or Family Weekend in general…

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          January 2, 2014 at 11:39 am | #

          Or the universe hating Amber!

  27. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    January 2, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    She’s a maniac, maniac on the floor
    And she’s dancing like she’s never danced before
    She’s a maniac, maniac on the floor
    And she’s dancing like she’s never danced before

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      January 2, 2014 at 11:40 am | #

      Great jorb!

  28. Theozilla
    Theozilla
    January 2, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Huh, forgot that Ethan said that within earshot of Joyce. I wonder if this will begin to make her realize that she won’t be able to change Ethan’s sexuality, when Amber’s is evidence of Ethan being unable to do so for someone he actually knew and loved (non-sexually) for a long time.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      January 2, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      Within earshot = right in front of, in a conversation that included her

  29. YakkoRex
    YakkoRex
    January 2, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Yes, Sarah, well you would be wrong about that.

  30. Rani
    Rani
    January 2, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    WE’VE GOT A DRAMA CORE BREACH

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 2, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      MANUALLY EJECT!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        January 2, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

        FIRMLY GRASP IT!

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          January 2, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

          WE NEED TO PATCH THIS ASAP! (Where’s McGuyver?)

          • Ikaru
            Ikaru
            January 2, 2014 at 6:31 am | #

            I have some bubblegum and paper clips, but that only builds a bomb…

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      January 2, 2014 at 7:14 am | #

      REVERSE THE POLARITY OF THE POSITRON FLOW!

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        January 2, 2014 at 10:57 am | #

        But if you reverse the polarity of a positron, then it’ll definitely become A NEGATRON!

  31. Aizat
    Aizat
    January 2, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    If Joyce is Goldblumming, she didn’t do the ummms and uhhhs.

    • Matt
      Matt
      January 2, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      “Life Love finds a way”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      January 2, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      You see uhhhh uhhh…ethan uhhh is…uhhh…a manwhore…yes. I have uhhhh studied them haaaah hmm..

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        January 2, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        And you know what happens next? -in a whispering tone- Checkmate!

  32. Regalli
    Regalli
    January 2, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    … Aaaaaand THERE’S the relationship-obsessed, slightly psychotic Roomies!Joyce we all know and fear!

    • MM
      MM
      January 2, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

      To this Joyce’s credit, she is trying to channel her impulses into helping someone else, instead of plotting ways to destroy Amber or keep Ethan away from everyone else he might be interested in forever.

  33. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    January 2, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

    I’m gonna be honest. For a second there, I forgot about what just happened with Ethan and Amber and thought that Joyce was somehow remembering her college experience in another universe.

    This is a recurring theme with Joyce…

  34. Aizat
    Aizat
    January 2, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

    Here’s how you Goldblum: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx5dJPy8XUg

  35. newllend
    newllend
    January 2, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

    Ok ok joyce, here what you do: go out, buy the most sexy night gown you can find, the go and wait in his room till he gets back, the try to sadduce him. Its full proof how he possibly resist?

    (Enjoying Joyce’s suffering )

    • Shanunu
      Shanunu
      January 2, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

      It’s funny because it’s a typo that could instead be looked at as a portmanteau of “sad” and “seduce”!

      • Frogger
        Frogger
        January 2, 2014 at 8:12 am | #

        I hereby vote that if Joyce ever tries to seduce someone and it’s a very sad attempt at it, we should call it a “sadduce!”

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          January 2, 2014 at 1:19 pm | #

          It would be funnier than her attempts to swear.

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          January 2, 2014 at 7:20 pm | #

          But wouldn’t that just be Joycing it?

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      January 2, 2014 at 1:05 pm | #

      I’d just kinda like to see, at this stage in her development, what Joyce would consider “the most sexy nightgown you can find”.

      (I bet it would totally show ankle)

      • kelticat
        kelticat
        January 2, 2014 at 11:37 pm | #

        And wrists, and possibly her neck.

  36. Mr K
    Mr K
    January 2, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

    I wonder what Sal and Amber are doing? Hopefully each other.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      January 2, 2014 at 9:24 am | #

      sal’s joyriding with marcy and amber’s probably on a path that will lead her to direct eyesight of danny conversing with her OTHER nemesis.

      i can’t wait for the danny/amber conversation that includes him commenting on how blaine seemed like an alright guy to him.

      • Karkat-san
        Karkat-san
        January 2, 2014 at 11:24 am | #

        This is really off-subject, but holy shit, is that a Marmalade Boy gravatar?

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          January 2, 2014 at 2:13 pm | #

          i honestly don’t remember. i made it umptymillion internet years ago (so maybe 14 actual years) when i was a regular patron of a shoujo-centric fanscan site. it might be marmalade boy, but it could just as easily be from a manga with a similar art style.

  37. Shanunu
    Shanunu
    January 2, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

    It’s just an excuse for Joyce to dig through Sarah’s closet and nose into Sarah’s life.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      January 2, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

      She’s a total stalker.

      • Shanunu
        Shanunu
        January 2, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

        I think knowing off hand the number of hours she’s been dating her gay boyfriend is very much evidence to this point.

        • What was the question again?
          What was the question again?
          January 2, 2014 at 5:19 am | #

          She’s stalking herself!

  38. Badeyes
    Badeyes
    January 2, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

    I heard this tremendous cracking sound, thought we were having an earthquake, but nope it was just Joyce.

  39. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    January 2, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

    Guess it doesn’t matter what universe it is: there is core of crazy at the center of Joyce’s being. The difference is how it manifests.

  40. RyanM
    RyanM
    January 2, 2014 at 1:51 am | #

    Hilariously, the moment I scrolled over the alt text, Abed on community at the same exact time said “Jeff, you’re Goldblumming”

  41. Kyle
    Kyle
    January 2, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

    This only hurts Joyce if she expects reciprocation, which suggests that 152 hours has been enough time for her to fall in love with Ethan further than she’s loved any man before. As sad as this is, it makes sense; this is the girl who has been trained from childhood to latch on to a godly groom and use him to give god a quiver full of little blonde arrows.

    It didn’t have to be Ethan. Joe didn’t work out because he’s Joe: honest, straightforward sexuality is far more than Joyce can bear. Still, that leaves so many possibilities. There are plenty of dudes subtle and manipulative enough to take advantage of Joyce for more than simply a gay-denying sham relationship.

    What I’m getting at is that she could have easily gotten this attached to -Mike-. It would have fallen into place perfectly, and he would have destroyed her life in any number of ways just for the hell of it, and the alcohol thing, and, and, and…

    Thank you Willis. This is far from the darkest timeline.

    • NoHeart
      NoHeart
      January 2, 2014 at 4:53 am | #

      On behalf of Joyce i would like to thank God for this as well…

    • Karkat-san
      Karkat-san
      January 2, 2014 at 6:03 am | #

      This is probably the best thing for Joyce and Ethan. Maybe Joyce will realize she shouldn’t latch onto people in love (since you don’t know who they are right away), and maybe Ethan will realize if he DOES want to be intimate on a level we’re pretty sure he does, he can’t really be happy trying to be “normal.”

      They’re both trying to shrug off what their parents did to them, and they probably are the best people for each other right now… in a strange way.

      • taekwondogirl
        taekwondogirl
        January 2, 2014 at 12:21 pm | #

        They’d be the best people for each other in that regard if they could open up and admit how much their parents did to control them. From my experience, it really helps to have someone with similar parental manipulation to talk to about it. That’s not enough to build a relationship, but a good friendship sure. They’d still need to talk about it, too.

  42. Lilith
    Lilith
    January 2, 2014 at 2:29 am | #

    That’s almost a week, isn’t it?

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      January 2, 2014 at 5:02 am | #

      Six days and eight hours.

  43. Tenn
    Tenn
    January 2, 2014 at 3:39 am | #

    Before reading the last panel, just glancing at Joyce’s face made me think she found some hotter outfits than she expected… or Sarah’s “toys”.

    • taekwondogirl
      taekwondogirl
      January 2, 2014 at 12:21 pm | #

      I don’t think Joyce would know what those toys were if she came across them visually.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        January 2, 2014 at 12:43 pm | #

        Rub it on my tummy!

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        January 2, 2014 at 1:10 pm | #

        “It’s a back massager! Mom had one of these! Hey, would you use it on me?”

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        January 2, 2014 at 9:50 pm | #

        Hehe… You said “came.”

      • kelticat
        kelticat
        January 2, 2014 at 11:41 pm | #

        Curlers….in the walkyverse

  44. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    January 2, 2014 at 4:49 am | #

    Oh no, the madness got to Joyce!

  45. Ikaru
    Ikaru
    January 2, 2014 at 6:38 am | #

    Ok wow….Joyce is still Joyce alright. Silly Sarah, thinking otherwise.

  46. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    January 2, 2014 at 8:28 am | #

    Crazy Joyce is BACK!

  47. Pat Myers
    Pat Myers
    January 2, 2014 at 10:08 am | #

    Too be fair, Joyce, Ethan loves Amber like a sister.

    His love for you is more like that of a security blanket.

    • Arkantos
      Arkantos
      January 2, 2014 at 10:11 am | #

      What love? He’s never said anything close to that.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        January 2, 2014 at 12:43 pm | #

        He didn’t have to. He said it with his EYES.

      • Darth Cariss
        Darth Cariss
        January 2, 2014 at 5:00 pm | #

        He did kinda make out with her a couple times.

  48. quietlythundering
    quietlythundering
    January 2, 2014 at 12:32 pm | #

    Somebody prepare the panic room!

    • Cragalanch
      Cragalanch
      January 2, 2014 at 7:28 pm | #

      Done!

  49. Historyman68
    Historyman68
    January 2, 2014 at 12:42 pm | #

    I’m glad Sarah didn’t get her hopes up too much. Doesn’t seem to buy it for a minute.

  50. nalem
    nalem
    January 2, 2014 at 1:38 pm | #

    Aww, be easy on Amber, Joyce. She’s going through a really hard… life.

    No, really. Her life is pretty screwed.

  51. XMinusOne
    XMinusOne
    January 2, 2014 at 1:44 pm | #

    For some reason, I’m imagining Joyce singing ‘This Nearly Was Mine’ and Ethan singing ‘ I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Wiener’. Hee,hee,hee.

  52. Black
    Black
    January 2, 2014 at 1:53 pm | #

    At the rate that Joyce is discovering real happenings in the real world, and being messed with by Ethan, I can only see one of a few scenarios finally come to fruition.

    First, Joyce just snaps and hides in the nearest church, having them call her family to bring her back to the fantasy world she lived in.

    Second, perhaps going crazy street pastor and telling everyone how they’re scum in the eyes of god, and generally trying to convert everyone to her brand of extremism.

    Third, perhaps a murder/suicide of Ethan or someone else close to her at the college.

    No matter how it goes I don’t think she’s going to come out of this college experience any saner than before, in fact she’ll be even more crazy when the real world doesn’t work like the few ideas she’s been given by her whole town.

    • Hieronymous Thrax
      Hieronymous Thrax
      January 2, 2014 at 2:27 pm | #

      You really don’t seem to “get” Joyce.

      Joyce has shown a willingness to learn and grow past her ignorance of the world outside the narrow views she learned during her long years of homeschooling. Her acceptance and defense of Dorothy’s beliefs – while still maintaining her own – shows that while she holds strong beliefs, she possesses open toleration and respect for those who don’t agree with her.

      There have been dumb things she’s done (read the comic title) either out of naivete or what others might see as a misguided belief, but Joyce has already proven to persevere in much fiercer tragedy than this (the Ryan date-rape attempt). True, she hasn’t sorted out her feelings in an ideal way, and she will likely have several difficult, painful moments before she really comes to grips with that (and the presumably inevitable collapse of the Ethan relationship), but Joyce, the girl who shines with positivity and brings together people who would never anticipate finding friendship with someone like her, will use these as teaching moments, and her friends won’t her fall into such despair.

      Where you see only an extremist with religious views, there is a full, complicated character, with motives and emotions that you are too blinded by your distaste for her religious views to see.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        January 2, 2014 at 8:30 pm | #

        Joyce has an open, friendly side, which will inevitably crowd out and subsume her religious side. Sometime in the next five DoA years I’d say, which is around, um, two hundred fifty or so real-world years? But Joyce’s biggest problem isn’t her religion. It’s the fact that she has this core of rage, wrapped in a creamy marshmallow coating of crazy. And neither her religious upbringing nor her friendly personality have prepared her to deal with things that cause her to snap. And when she snaps, watch out – she’s out of control and can and will hurt you.

        In real life, rather than becoming subsumed by religion, I’d instead expect her to be arrested and possibly sent to prison sometime in the near future, as a result of one of these outbursts. (Amber would be in a similar boat, only moreso.) But this is a comic book world, so they’ll probably both escape any societal consequences of their ragey outbursts and violent actions.

      • electronerd
        electronerd
        January 2, 2014 at 9:22 pm | #

        Willingness to learn and grow past her ignorance of the world? http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/proven/

  53. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    January 2, 2014 at 1:54 pm | #

    *now playing Requiem For A Dream*

  54. D
    D
    January 2, 2014 at 10:15 pm | #

    I know no one will likely see this down here, but doing a archive binge I found this strip: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/transformers/

    After the “Girlfr— BEST friend” slip, oh, yeah, Joyce has PLENTY of reason for upset right now….

  55. kelticat
    kelticat
    January 2, 2014 at 11:50 pm | #

    I was just thinking that if Ethan had an interest in ladybits, he would be frozen out for a year after such a comment.
    But since the only ladybits he has shown a possible interest in belong to Jocelyn, the freeze isn’t likely to happen.

  56. Onion
    Onion
    May 3, 2016 at 9:50 pm | #

    Shoulda known.

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