Samma and Tark didn't ask to be stuck together, but now they're partners on the adventure of a lifetime.
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG.
At least, he was, and that was the idea...
Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Kochab
Sarah Webb
A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Not Drunk Enough
Tess Stone
Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
The End
August Brown, Cory Brown
Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
This is Not Fiction
Nicole Mannino
What do you do when the person you're in-love with is an anonymous romance novelist? Get your best friend to hire your worst enemy for help!
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
Missing Monday
Elle Skinner
Two girls fall in love through a magic door connecting their worlds. When Monday suddenly goes missing, it's up to Foyle to find her. How she's going to navigate an entirely unfamiliar world is another matter.
Alexander, The Servant & The Water of Life
Reimena Yee
The 21st century retelling of the life and legends of Alexander the Great.
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Quick$ilver
Crypto
The flirtatious, directionless, and ever disastrous Luci searches for excitement in a life of crime, and finds himself caught in a web of messy romance and bad blood.
Headless Bliss
Clover
A story about story-telling, and other metaphysical themes such as Nightmares! (Failed) Teamwork! Comedy! And more!
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
The Forgotten Order
Christy
A young witch for whom every spell is a misfire finds solace and friendship in her new companion - a cursed doll.
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
Gzhel Guardian
Atla Hrafney, nushanchel
The Railway World is a complex, mysterious network of trains, towns and mechanical monsters. Leo is a Guardian of one of these towns, and although their burn-out and depression has taken hold of them, they have one last job to finish.
Goodbye to Halos
Valerie Halla
Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
Sleepless Domain
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
Ride or Die
Mars Heyward
Ride or Die is an LGBTQ webcomic about two street racers who team up with a demon-possessed muscle car in the search for a missing woman, while being hunted by a deadly religious cult.
The Substitutes
Myisha Haynes
What happens when three roommates accidentally acquire otherworldly and powerful magic weapons destined for someone else?
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Trying Human
IntroducingEmy
Two women separated by over half a century are brought together by an alien-filled conspiracy involving murder, mystery and romance!
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Within
Verena Loisel
A young hitman meanders between a reality that seems to happen without him, and his dreams where he is lost in an endless house. When he makes an accidental friend, his world is shaken up and he realizes there are things he can't remember about himself.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Aquapunk
Lo
In an underwater world of unknown coordinates, inhabited by aliens, ghosts, and robots, a young member of a warrior underclass is framed for a crime and goes on the run. Little does he know he is part of a grand design that only gods and ancestors could choreograph.
Scape
Lauren
Sula has always preferred to forge her own path, but before she knows it, she is pulled into the middle of a civil war between man and monster!
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
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Come to think of it, this brings to mind my uncle’s comment once about how people who are good at driving aren’t that great at racing games, and maybe vice-versa. HMMM
I can see how that would work. One guy, a mechanic and the best driver I’ve ever known, was hopeless at Super Mario Kart. Like he’d never use the feather powerup, not even to get rid of it so he could get one of the items he knew what to do with. Tackling, jumping and generally driving as though the only thing in the world that could possibly hurt you was finishing second are not skills that real world driving teaches you I suppose.
This has a lot to do with how real vehicles operate. Real cars don’t have on-off acceleration and a huge dead zone in the middle of steering. So people who actually drive tend to oversteer in the games. Like anything, it comes with experience.
Just like Guitar Hero, the game guitar is nothing like a real one.
See, the problem is that that … (what console is it? 3DS?). Anyway, the 3DS is going to need several hours to charge. Can Danny’s charger last that long?
My siblings and I play MK64 whenever we gather at our old house. To be honest, it’s one of the only times I swear. We all do, though. There was one instance, out of all the times, I’ll remember. It was Peach’s Castle. My brother had gotten lightning, and hit it as I was about to go off the ramp. While watching to make sure he hit at the right time, he accidently drove off the track, missing the entrance to the same ramp. During this, the lightning caused one of my sisters to spin out at the end of the curve at the beginning of the course, and into the water. My other sister fell into the lake, right behind the finish line.
All together, we each swore.
I wish it had been the same word.
But it wasn’t.
Still, i love the memory of a simultaneous sibling swear.
We all couldn’t stop laughing for at least ten minutes.
Also, it appears in the center of the zoomed-out viewport, so if you zoomed in to view the comic you’ll need to scroll roughly to the post section (where the tags etc appear)
THE ARISTOCRACY IS CORRUPT OR INEPT. IF THE ROYAL FAMILY WILL NOT LEAD US, WE WILL CHOOSE OUR OWN KING. AND HE WILL LEAD US TO A NEW NATION, ONE THE OLD CAN NOT HOPE TO STAND AGAINST!
Someday I’ll be talking about first Playing Metal Gear Rising in college and a kid will be like “I had that when I was 7!” and It’ll finally have come full circle.
Any parent who lets their seven year old play Metal Gear Rising… e_e… needs parenting lessons. I love the game, but I just don’t think kids should have access to titles like that. And In my own household… they never will.
Note, I am not against violent video games… I am just against small children playing them.
All Internet commentators are different. Some like certain TV shows that others don’t, some ship couples that others believe would never work, and some only comment on the Internet just to anger people. But there IS one thing that I guarantee all people on the Internet can agree on: Rainbow Road is the Antichrist of Mario Kart
Oh man, I have SO many words to say about Rainbow Road, and I’ve only played one Mario Kart game ever (Double Dash). Well, technically it’s mostly just one word repeated multiple times.
It’s part of the reason why I think Mario Kart peaked in the first installment. It’s probably the hardest Rainbow Road in the series, but it’s entirely fair and once you learn it and can cruise through it like a 150cc angel it’s the best thing ever.
Oh man this brings back memories of staying up late playing Pokemon Gold Version. I remember the first time I came across the Poison condition, which made the screen flash whenever you took a certain number of steps, indicating a loss of a Hit Point for the afflicted Pokemon. I was terrified that something was going wrong with my GameBoy, that maybe it was glitching out or it was losing battery power. In my defense, it was my first ever video game, and I was 8.
Whatever you do Willis don’t ever let her play darksouls, oh god the world would explode… I can see it now, all bright and shiny, actually that might not be so bad.
Oh man i figured that whole DS situation would go somewhere but i didn’t expect this. I cant wait to see her next interaction with Danny, him knowing that Billie was dumb and she isnt Amazi girl. I wonder if Sal will demand his charger or just go buy one of her own.
Aw, man… That’s what I get for checking later then midnight, someone beat me to noticing that the number was accurate. I was all set to comment on it myself, but figured I should check if anyone else had first, before I ended up just being redundant.
At least it’s not the Street Fighter Alpha arcade console with “Cheater Ken” in the middle of the single player quest mode, who exists only to suck more money from your pockets.
You know, normally I like seeing Billie… But these last few strips, I’m still having my perceptions coloured by knowing what went down between her and Ruth… I can only hope that the reason she looks so miserable is because she was up all night agonizing over it (hopefully not with the aid of her favorite vice), and just because Sal kept her up all night swearing at Mario Cart.
If the story does keep on Billie for a bit, I hope it before too long involves her confiding in someone about what happened, and that someone then giving her the mental equivalent of a whap upside the back of the head. Or hell, even a physical slap, I suppose.
The kind of slap that, in my younger days, I would have called a “Manuel.” But these days, I guess it is more of a “DiNozzo.” Yes, that would do nicely.
“If the story does keep on Billie for a bit, I hope it before too long involves her confiding in someone about what happened.”
Joyce would be an excellent choice, seeing as we know she’s completely cool about underage drinking, homosexuality, and flat-out lying. (The trifecta!)
Maybe she’s the only person Billie should be confiding in, given that Joyce would actually want to help her friend and do something to get Billie and Ruth to being friends again.
I knew Sal was hooked when she kept on playing on the sidewalk. I’d like to see her in a full Pc setup dungeon crawl like old EQ.
She’d melt the monitor.
And now maybe I know why Billie looks so damned pooped …. had the FBomb dropped on her all night.
This makes me very happy. I think this would also make Danny happy and forget that he just gave his 3DS to a complete stranger. I also really hope this brings Sal and Danny together as friends over Mariokart. There is no greater bond.
I’m hoping it brings Sal and Amber together as friends over Mario Kart, with neither of them realizing who the other actually is and that they had prior history until they’ve forged a bond of friendship through multiplayer.
Of course, Willis feeds on our tears, so it’ll probably end up with Amber assaulting Sal to get Danny’s DS back.
Willis feeds on our tears, so it will end up with Amber trying to win back Danny’s DS by challenging Sal to a tournament and losing her own DS in that manner.
I haven’t been counting partials, like Joyce’s “FFFFFffffff….” the other day, so I think I’m only giving Sal 30 for this strip, the ones where all four letters are mostly unobscured.
That is plenty enough to cleanly snatch the lead away from Billie, though. Sal’s still trailing Naomi in the fuck/strip rating, though. (That sounds dirtier than it really is.)
I respectfully disagree. Even Willis himself said (in the alt-text) that there were 77 “fucks” in this strip, so I think that’s the number you need to go with.
As for not counting Joyce’s abortive attempt at “FFFFFfffff”, I agree with you there.
When you spend like three days plowing through the archives from the beginning to count the number of times everyone says “fuck”, you can decide what counts and what doesn’t.
There are only 54 that are even partially visible. I ain’t nohow gonna count 23 “fuck”s that aren’t even in the strip, even if Willis promises that they’re there hidden behind Billie and Joyce.
S’just a matter of multiplication. 4 columns times 19 rows, plus Sal’s adjective from panel 2. Counting individually is a waste of time you could be using for more important things. Like world domination, or plotting the demise of your enemies, or loitering while never breaking eye contact with cops.
John doesn’t ‘need’ to go with that number. As the one keeping track, he gets the right to choose what counts and what does not. If he is going with partials not counting, that is his choice, as long as he is consistent about it. And I personally agree with his decision as some of them aren’t even visible behind Billie and Joyce while others only show two letters which, though we can assume are all for the same word, could also just as easily be for other words that he threw in as we have no way of proving that they all are the same word. There could be the word ‘fudge’ or ‘luck’ thrown in there for fun and we would never know because we have no way of proving that one word is the sole one written.
The author himself said that they were all “fuck”. They’re all spaced out perfectly evenly, too. The guy keeping track can do whatever he wants, but your justification is flimsy.
There’s an argument for counting the partially visible ones, because they’re not cut off, they’re just partially concealed, but I don’t think it’s consistent with the way I’ve been counting up to this point.
The part of that fuck array that isn’t visible at all, though, isn’t actually in the strip, and counting things that aren’t actually depicted in the strip, even if we know they happened within its scope, doesn’t really seem supportable.
It’d be like claiming that we’ve seen Joyce topless because we know she took her shirt off a couple strips ago.
Oh, checking out arts on the Tumblr and noticed that there’s some drama going on involving a jerk with my name. I just wanted to make clear that that isn’t me. It’s an unfortunately common name.
I shouldn’t worry about that. Given that the posts all make it clear that it’s John Campbell, specifically, and that he’s fairly well-known as the Pictures of Sad Children cartoonist, I’m not sure why you’d think people would assume it’s you. The only well-known individuals I’m aware of who are identified as just “John” are the authors of the fourth Gospel, of the epistles 1 through 3 John, and of Revelation. And they’re all deceased, so they’re probably safe from association with either you or John Campbell.
Yeah, no reason you should know that. I switched to using my full name over on BBR a while back because of random-gravatar collision with another John, but haven’t bothered here because I didn’t feel like having to get approved again. Willis knows because his magic admin powers let him see my email.
But, yeah, I’m John Campbell. I’m not that John Campbell. (Nor am I a deceased science fiction editor, or my uncle, or my grandfather, or that other guy that was in a couple of my classes in junior high, which was all kinds of fun when we had substitute teachers, let me tell you…)
I wonder when Danny’s going to remember he gave the wrong person his DS now that he knows who Amazigirl really is…. and if he’ll be mad at Billie for steering him wrong…
A while back I had cause to make the claim that Billie said “fuck” more often than everyone else in the comic put together, with the disclaimer that I hadn’t actually counted. A few days later the subject came up again, and I didn’t really have anything else to do, so I decided to actually count and find out if it was really true or not. And then I had the raw numbers, so why not pretty ’em up and post them? Keeping it updated since has been minimal effort.
(For a surprising amount of the run of the comic it was actually true. Billie took the comic’s virginity, and then went back and forth with Everyone Else until her confrontation with Sal over the roommate agreement, where she seized an absolute majority of all “fuck”s and held it for two years, until Naomi’s cluster-f-bomb and then Sal going off on Walky pulled Everyone Else ahead. And now Sal’s seized the lead for not just Everyone Else, but for herself alone. Billie’s been off her game for a while, but maybe her recent romantic issues will get her swearing again.)
That’s not actually Dumbiverse Carla, but Walkyverse Ultra Car. You can tell by the slightly different hair, squared-off pupils and dialog balloon, and the Walkyverse-style Head Alien and Monkey Master leggings.
So you’re saying I should’ve added the third bird popping out of her chest, too?
I actually noticed that she’s got the square robot word balloon, though I hadn’t noticed the other character-design differences. But you can’t say “Ultra-Car” here.
Jesus shit, Mario Kart 7 is hard as fucking hell. I thought I’d be golden from a childhood tempered by the rest of the series, but it’s not even like these computers cheat. They actually just race very well. Which is so much harder to deal with than outright cheating.
You know, re-reading : Danny managed to get Sal to stop disappearing from her room without notice and it’s quite a miracle. Give the boy some credit there.
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We feel your pain, Sal.
Ugh, flashbacks to the first time I tried Diner Dash… hate that fucking game and all its clones X(
Well, at least it proves the pain’s all in her brain, not her hand?
It’s worse because Sal wouldn’t have the charger. So it’s completely gone.
Sal is one of us.
And we are one with Sal. Actually, that sounds kinda creepy. Maybe not?
Assimilate!
So, when is Danny going to give her his charger?
Is that a Euphenism?
“Everything is a euphemism.”
“If you know what I mean.”
“With my penis.”
Between the sheets.
I’d like to double her entendre.
I’d like to fluff her Garfield.
With my hands.
I’d like to hit her with my blue shell
Her Mario Kart game is going better than average.
Come to think of it, this brings to mind my uncle’s comment once about how people who are good at driving aren’t that great at racing games, and maybe vice-versa. HMMM
I can see how that would work. One guy, a mechanic and the best driver I’ve ever known, was hopeless at Super Mario Kart. Like he’d never use the feather powerup, not even to get rid of it so he could get one of the items he knew what to do with. Tackling, jumping and generally driving as though the only thing in the world that could possibly hurt you was finishing second are not skills that real world driving teaches you I suppose.
My dad was a retired fighter pilot, but could never get into computer flight sims, said they didn’t feel right.
This is fairly true.
This has a lot to do with how real vehicles operate. Real cars don’t have on-off acceleration and a huge dead zone in the middle of steering. So people who actually drive tend to oversteer in the games. Like anything, it comes with experience.
Just like Guitar Hero, the game guitar is nothing like a real one.
Sal’s face is a scary face.
I think Sal needs Danny’s charger. If you know what I mean.
I understand completely, the batteries muct be running pretty low after all that gameplay.
See, the problem is that that … (what console is it? 3DS?). Anyway, the 3DS is going to need several hours to charge. Can Danny’s charger last that long?
3ds charge pretty quickly even though I still have the very first 3ds they came out with. :3
A low-battery 3DS will run off the AC adapter power pretty much as soon as it’s plugged in, as long as you keep it plugged in.
And who knows? Sounds like Danny’s charger has had a fair bit of experience.
Maybe she needs an amazi-3prong charger?
eh?
In fairness, those are two good reasons.
Mario Kart has never made me mad. But Tekken has made me friggin’ MENTAL.
MSH vs SF…Cyber Akuma…
Cyber Akuma’s a wuss compared to some of the crap the Tekken bosses pull off.
At least he doesn’t drain away 75% of your health in one hit…
Not to mention Unknown from TT2 Who drains ALL your health and then switches you out.
^ THIS.
Glad I didn’t play the arcade version, because Unknown would have eaten so many quarters.
Try Magaki from KOF 11. Motherfucker won’t even let you touch him.
This! So much this. Move takes up the whole screen and doesn’t use any special bar.
You guys ever play Lifeforce? The sequel to Gradius that hates you and wants you to die?
(Implying that Gradius doesn’t.)
Point.
GRADIUS III
*throws into street*
My siblings and I play MK64 whenever we gather at our old house. To be honest, it’s one of the only times I swear. We all do, though. There was one instance, out of all the times, I’ll remember. It was Peach’s Castle. My brother had gotten lightning, and hit it as I was about to go off the ramp. While watching to make sure he hit at the right time, he accidently drove off the track, missing the entrance to the same ramp. During this, the lightning caused one of my sisters to spin out at the end of the curve at the beginning of the course, and into the water. My other sister fell into the lake, right behind the finish line.
All together, we each swore.
I wish it had been the same word.
But it wasn’t.
Still, i love the memory of a simultaneous sibling swear.
We all couldn’t stop laughing for at least ten minutes.
I dunno, I think different swears could be funnier…
“Fuck!”
“Shitcock!”
“Titmuffins!”
“Isaac Newton’s explosive diarrhea on a pukewaffle!”
Mental image? You’re welcome.
Boy, the current residents of your old house must get really confused about these strangers in their home.
Yep, seems legitimate to me.
Hey, that’s my reaction every time I play FFTA2.
Or fighting Don Sauzer in SRW A.
Hey, the alt text works on my iPad now! How convenient, now I have another platform on which to obsessively update and follow this comic!
Why, I can get the midnight update while hiding in the bushes at Willis’ house, if I wanted to. (No, no, just kidding – his wifi isn’t good enough.)
If you’re waiting until it’s on the internet anyway, what difference does proximity make?
Midnight? Hah. Where I live I get it at 7 PM.
What, how? I wish I could see it.
On a touch-enabled device, tap the empty space to the left or right of the navigation buttons.
Also, it appears in the center of the zoomed-out viewport, so if you zoomed in to view the comic you’ll need to scroll roughly to the post section (where the tags etc appear)
TELL ME, TELL US. BUT ME. TELL ME HOW! I ONLY GET A LINK!
There’s a bit in the empty space just under the last panel, tap there and it will bring up the alt text in a weird overlay [or, it does on my iPad]
So weird! I got it once, but now I can’t make it happen again!!!
I never realised how well I can empathise with Sal.
Sal totally just robbed the F-bomb list.
Or at least gave herself a seemingly insurmountable lead….
ps – I make it to be 76 in the 4th panel alone.
For anyone who’s confused about the number, the 77th mentioned in hovertext was panel two.
You know, I think you can stop worry about saying the word “fuck” when you’re busy drawing it.
Did Sal play all night? Has Danny ruined Sal’s life?
Danny ruins everyone’s life.
Seconded.
+1
Sometimes he makes their lives better……so they have farther to fall later.
He is the anti-Mike.
I doubt it… It probably didn’t have a full battery when he gave it to her, and she’s only running out now.
And in that time she almost beat his record.
And Sal zips ahead….
But only in saying Fuck.
Don’t even get her started on Mario Racism. JUSTICE FOR TOADS. NO BLOOD FOR SHROOMS!
GOOMBAS ARE PEOPLE TOO! FAIR WAGES FOR ALL KOOPA TROOPAS!
WE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS WAR, BOWSER!
BUT YOU JUST HAD TO KIDNAP THE PRINCESS, DON’T YOU?
THE ARISTOCRACY IS CORRUPT OR INEPT. IF THE ROYAL FAMILY WILL NOT LEAD US, WE WILL CHOOSE OUR OWN KING. AND HE WILL LEAD US TO A NEW NATION, ONE THE OLD CAN NOT HOPE TO STAND AGAINST!
Must be why the princess changes castles so frequently.
But is it as bad as COD racism?
Fish do get a pretty bad rap when it comes to sterotyping.
Why do you think Call of Duty is racist?
Not so much CoD itself just a number of the players.
Why are so many idiot 12 year olds on it?
Bad parenting that’s why.
THOSE BLOCKS WERE TOADS! DOWN WITH PLUMBER LED GENOCIDE!
How dare he free them from their magically created prisons!
But then he eats their heads.
So this is how you shake up the characters, eh? Making Sal a gamer…I can dig it.
Dear god Danny…you’ve created a monster! An ultra kick-ass and potty-mouth video game monster!
Nah…that ain’t a monster.
There already is that kind of monster
(though Amber doesn’t swear as much)
Interesting… What will happen with this DS/Sal/Danny/Amber/Amazi-girl situation?
Sal/Amber/DS threesome?
“That’s not how you use the recharger”.
I feel like making a butt-plug joke would be low-hanging fruit here.
Also vibrator/dildo jokes…
The real reason that rumble has become an industry standard.
With this being a Willis comic, I assure you no good will come of this.
Oh man, did that bring back college memories of Spiro 2. I feel you, Sal.
Spyro, not Spiro. It’s been a long time.
Spiro was famous for the “Nattering Nabobs of Negativity” quote.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiro_Agnew
I was 7 when I first played spyro 2. And I had a PS2 at the time.
How time flies.
Someday I’ll be talking about first Playing Metal Gear Rising in college and a kid will be like “I had that when I was 7!” and It’ll finally have come full circle.
Nah, you don’t make me feel old. Maybe a little wistful. 7-year old me would have loved Spyro.
Any parent who lets their seven year old play Metal Gear Rising… e_e… needs parenting lessons. I love the game, but I just don’t think kids should have access to titles like that. And In my own household… they never will.
Note, I am not against violent video games… I am just against small children playing them.
My 15 year old cousin received GTA IV for Christmas a few years back, mostly so he could play in multiplayer with his one friend.
I’m sort of OK with 15 year olds playing Halo, but giving a game as violent and outsized as GTA to a kid…no way. No friggin’ way.
Wait till she tries flappy bird or twitch plays pokemon
I love TPP. Been watching since The ledge. Anyone else playing?
I remember when we first found our Lord and Savior Helix.
Ah, an ancient one. How are you?
Obligatory xkcd
Sir, your name and Gravatar are… Wait for it… Amazing!
But seriously, love your name and Gravatar
Well, Sal now knows how addictive Mario Kart can be!
Wait till she tries Pokemon.
Now I want to see Mario Kart Let’s Play by Sal Walkerton. Airing as soon as the Twitch chat servers are freed from Twitch Plays Pokemon.
Damn you Pokemon, I was trying to enjoy VGCW!
SHHHH! Do not speak of such evil things. Invoking the name of chaos incarnate might summon forth the children of Chaos.
Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss.
Calm down Sal. One does not simply get good at Mario Kart over night.
Mario Kart is a great distraction from familial racial issues.
It is not a good stress-reliever, however.
Just giggling, and that’s a good way to go to bed. G’nite, all.
Mario Kart is such a college stereotype.
I thought that was MLP.
I thought it was D&D.
Maybe thirty years or so ago. Then someone invented video games.
That’s weird ’cause I got really into all three in college.
As is unleashing a torrent of F-bombs over a video game!
Sal’s the new AVGN. I’d actually want to see her do a LP of a game.
All Internet commentators are different. Some like certain TV shows that others don’t, some ship couples that others believe would never work, and some only comment on the Internet just to anger people. But there IS one thing that I guarantee all people on the Internet can agree on: Rainbow Road is the Antichrist of Mario Kart
Oh man, I have SO many words to say about Rainbow Road, and I’ve only played one Mario Kart game ever (Double Dash). Well, technically it’s mostly just one word repeated multiple times.
Man, I love Rainbow Road. I’m not just saying this to prove you wrong, I genuinely love Rainbow Road.
See, I love it too….but I still admit its evil incarnate.
I love it too. But then, I love Lifeforce, so.
It’s part of the reason why I think Mario Kart peaked in the first installment. It’s probably the hardest Rainbow Road in the series, but it’s entirely fair and once you learn it and can cruise through it like a 150cc angel it’s the best thing ever.
Sal now has an inkling of a gamer’s rage, her initiation has begun >:)
Oh man this brings back memories of staying up late playing Pokemon Gold Version. I remember the first time I came across the Poison condition, which made the screen flash whenever you took a certain number of steps, indicating a loss of a Hit Point for the afflicted Pokemon. I was terrified that something was going wrong with my GameBoy, that maybe it was glitching out or it was losing battery power. In my defense, it was my first ever video game, and I was 8.
I don’t think anyone realizes how terrible an idea giving Sal a really frustrating game is. That DS isn’t going to last this story arc.
Anyone wanna place bets on how long the small blue device will last???
It isn’t even going to last past the second blue shell.
If she ever realizes that Mario is basically several dozen Italian sterotypes glommed together, she will break the world with the power of her rage.
Actually, i kinda want to see how Sal reacts to racism not directed at her.
F-CLUSTERBOMB!!!!!!
Dangit! This is like, the fifth comic in a row that I haven’t been around to comment on at precisely 12:02. I’m a disgrace, don’t look at me.
Hey I sort of feel the same when I don’t comment at exactly at 12:00 over at Gunnerkrigg.
damn it danny you forgot to give her the charger
I wonder how she would react to call of duty
Whatever you do Willis don’t ever let her play darksouls, oh god the world would explode… I can see it now, all bright and shiny, actually that might not be so bad.
It will be hell on earth the moment the battery runs out on the ds
Did she even sleep?
Hehe, this comic amused me so much. XD
I told you Yoshi cheats!
He always gets those red shells!
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!
Oh man i figured that whole DS situation would go somewhere but i didn’t expect this. I cant wait to see her next interaction with Danny, him knowing that Billie was dumb and she isnt Amazi girl. I wonder if Sal will demand his charger or just go buy one of her own.
She probably doesn’t know that it -uses- a charger.
She seems to know it has a battery…
So Sal kept Billie up with her Mario karting?
Did anyone else check that it was indeed 77 fucks?
4 columns, with 19 rows from panel 4, plus 1 from panel 2.
4*19+1=80-4+1=77
Aw, man… That’s what I get for checking later then midnight, someone beat me to noticing that the number was accurate. I was all set to comment on it myself, but figured I should check if anyone else had first, before I ended up just being redundant.
Yes. Yes I did. Well, that’s counting the ones hidden by the 2 characters.
At least it’s not the Street Fighter Alpha arcade console with “Cheater Ken” in the middle of the single player quest mode, who exists only to suck more money from your pockets.
You know, normally I like seeing Billie… But these last few strips, I’m still having my perceptions coloured by knowing what went down between her and Ruth… I can only hope that the reason she looks so miserable is because she was up all night agonizing over it (hopefully not with the aid of her favorite vice), and just because Sal kept her up all night swearing at Mario Cart.
If the story does keep on Billie for a bit, I hope it before too long involves her confiding in someone about what happened, and that someone then giving her the mental equivalent of a whap upside the back of the head. Or hell, even a physical slap, I suppose.
The kind of slap that, in my younger days, I would have called a “Manuel.” But these days, I guess it is more of a “DiNozzo.” Yes, that would do nicely.
You mean the Gibbs-slap.
DiNozzo doesn’t get a slap named after him.
A Manuel! Even decades later, still infinitely superior to a Gibbs-slap.
“If the story does keep on Billie for a bit, I hope it before too long involves her confiding in someone about what happened.”
Joyce would be an excellent choice, seeing as we know she’s completely cool about underage drinking, homosexuality, and flat-out lying. (The trifecta!)
Maybe she’s the only person Billie should be confiding in, given that Joyce would actually want to help her friend and do something to get Billie and Ruth to being friends again.
I knew Sal was hooked when she kept on playing on the sidewalk. I’d like to see her in a full Pc setup dungeon crawl like old EQ.
She’d melt the monitor.
And now maybe I know why Billie looks so damned pooped …. had the FBomb dropped on her all night.
This was the right order for funniest, Willis!
oh i get it. she likes motorcycles and racing. hehe.
Now I know I can blame Danny for this one.
Looks like Danny dannied this up in his sleep.
So, topics to avoid with Sal: races and races.
Singing “Camptown Races” near her is probably the fastest and most painful way to commit suicide.
This makes me very happy. I think this would also make Danny happy and forget that he just gave his 3DS to a complete stranger. I also really hope this brings Sal and Danny together as friends over Mariokart. There is no greater bond.
I’m hoping it brings Sal and Amber together as friends over Mario Kart, with neither of them realizing who the other actually is and that they had prior history until they’ve forged a bond of friendship through multiplayer.
Of course, Willis feeds on our tears, so it’ll probably end up with Amber assaulting Sal to get Danny’s DS back.
Willis feeds on our tears, so it will end up with Amber trying to win back Danny’s DS by challenging Sal to a tournament and losing her own DS in that manner.
I haven’t been counting partials, like Joyce’s “FFFFFffffff….” the other day, so I think I’m only giving Sal 30 for this strip, the ones where all four letters are mostly unobscured.
That is plenty enough to cleanly snatch the lead away from Billie, though. Sal’s still trailing Naomi in the fuck/strip rating, though. (That sounds dirtier than it really is.)
I respectfully disagree. Even Willis himself said (in the alt-text) that there were 77 “fucks” in this strip, so I think that’s the number you need to go with.
As for not counting Joyce’s abortive attempt at “FFFFFfffff”, I agree with you there.
When you spend like three days plowing through the archives from the beginning to count the number of times everyone says “fuck”, you can decide what counts and what doesn’t.
There are only 54 that are even partially visible. I ain’t nohow gonna count 23 “fuck”s that aren’t even in the strip, even if Willis promises that they’re there hidden behind Billie and Joyce.
S’just a matter of multiplication. 4 columns times 19 rows, plus Sal’s adjective from panel 2. Counting individually is a waste of time you could be using for more important things. Like world domination, or plotting the demise of your enemies, or loitering while never breaking eye contact with cops.
John doesn’t ‘need’ to go with that number. As the one keeping track, he gets the right to choose what counts and what does not. If he is going with partials not counting, that is his choice, as long as he is consistent about it. And I personally agree with his decision as some of them aren’t even visible behind Billie and Joyce while others only show two letters which, though we can assume are all for the same word, could also just as easily be for other words that he threw in as we have no way of proving that they all are the same word. There could be the word ‘fudge’ or ‘luck’ thrown in there for fun and we would never know because we have no way of proving that one word is the sole one written.
The author himself said that they were all “fuck”. They’re all spaced out perfectly evenly, too. The guy keeping track can do whatever he wants, but your justification is flimsy.
Fucks given outside the strips don’t count even though we know they happen.
“Informed ability” fucks don’t count either.
There’s an argument for counting the partially visible ones, because they’re not cut off, they’re just partially concealed, but I don’t think it’s consistent with the way I’ve been counting up to this point.
The part of that fuck array that isn’t visible at all, though, isn’t actually in the strip, and counting things that aren’t actually depicted in the strip, even if we know they happened within its scope, doesn’t really seem supportable.
It’d be like claiming that we’ve seen Joyce topless because we know she took her shirt off a couple strips ago.
I just want Joyce to start flapping her arms like a bird.
That would be the Most Adorable.
Oh, checking out arts on the Tumblr and noticed that there’s some drama going on involving a jerk with my name. I just wanted to make clear that that isn’t me. It’s an unfortunately common name.
I shouldn’t worry about that. Given that the posts all make it clear that it’s John Campbell, specifically, and that he’s fairly well-known as the Pictures of Sad Children cartoonist, I’m not sure why you’d think people would assume it’s you. The only well-known individuals I’m aware of who are identified as just “John” are the authors of the fourth Gospel, of the epistles 1 through 3 John, and of Revelation. And they’re all deceased, so they’re probably safe from association with either you or John Campbell.
…That last sentence came out wrong. I didn’t mean to group you and John Campbell together. You seem like a decent person.
This John is also a John Campbell.
Oops. >.<
Yeah, no reason you should know that. I switched to using my full name over on BBR a while back because of random-gravatar collision with another John, but haven’t bothered here because I didn’t feel like having to get approved again. Willis knows because his magic admin powers let him see my email.
But, yeah, I’m John Campbell. I’m not that John Campbell. (Nor am I a deceased science fiction editor, or my uncle, or my grandfather, or that other guy that was in a couple of my classes in junior high, which was all kinds of fun when we had substitute teachers, let me tell you…)
If you want to disambig, you could start calling yourself John Campbell Who is Neither a Giant Douche Nor Dead.
Or if that’s too much of a mouthful, John Cougar Bellincamp. >_>
(Of course to paraphrase Michael Bolton from Office Space: Why should [you] change? He’s the one who sucks!)
Really, I just wanted an excuse to make the John Cougar Bellincamp joke.This information brought to you by I Can See Everyone’s Email Addresses But You Can’t.
You must redeem the name of John Campbell by absorbing the souls of other John Campbells. There can be only one!
Crap, John Smith has a heck of a job ahead then.
Oh yeah, I forgot Sal had Danny’s 3DS…
Or hand stabbings.
She can probably lose her temper about hand stabbings.
Two things
1. Love Joyce’s new outfit
2. Love that Sal is addicted to Mario Kart now
I wonder when Danny’s going to remember he gave the wrong person his DS now that he knows who Amazigirl really is…. and if he’ll be mad at Billie for steering him wrong…
Well, it’s only the next day…
Later today-
AMBER: Where’s your DS, Danny?
DANNY: I thought I gave it to you.
Same feeling when I get a crit on a rare Pokemon.
I did not think Sal would actually play the 3DS.
And that’s when the blue shell hit her…
Oh my god.
I didn’t think I could love Sal any more AND THEN THIS
Yeah. This is pretty much what I expected to happen. It’s always the calm ones who lose their shit over Mario Kart and Animal Crossing.
Grud help us if she ever starts playing World of Tanks
Someone keeps charts on you, Willis?
Nah, that doesn’t really surprise me.
A while back I had cause to make the claim that Billie said “fuck” more often than everyone else in the comic put together, with the disclaimer that I hadn’t actually counted. A few days later the subject came up again, and I didn’t really have anything else to do, so I decided to actually count and find out if it was really true or not. And then I had the raw numbers, so why not pretty ’em up and post them? Keeping it updated since has been minimal effort.
(For a surprising amount of the run of the comic it was actually true. Billie took the comic’s virginity, and then went back and forth with Everyone Else until her confrontation with Sal over the roommate agreement, where she seized an absolute majority of all “fuck”s and held it for two years, until Naomi’s cluster-f-bomb and then Sal going off on Walky pulled Everyone Else ahead. And now Sal’s seized the lead for not just Everyone Else, but for herself alone. Billie’s been off her game for a while, but maybe her recent romantic issues will get her swearing again.)
Just realized that “77” counts the ones that are covered up by Billie and Joyce, is that fair?
The oversized sleeves and pony tail make Joyce the most adorable thing ever.
So, uh, I think the Carla-in-Joyce’s-outfit art was missing something. So I added it.
That’s not actually Dumbiverse Carla, but Walkyverse Ultra Car. You can tell by the slightly different hair, squared-off pupils and dialog balloon, and the Walkyverse-style Head Alien and Monkey Master leggings.
So you’re saying I should’ve added the third bird popping out of her chest, too?
I actually noticed that she’s got the square robot word balloon, though I hadn’t noticed the other character-design differences. But you can’t say “Ultra-Car” here.
Jeeze, now I’m curious what you guys are saying…
Gotta admit, either way…those are definitely an appropriate addition.
Wait. You set up the forum so it censors you as well?
“Mario Kart and racism.” I actually have an appreciation for Sal’s priorities (possibly just because I am fairly high-strung, but still).
Well, that’s how I play Mario kart. And every other video game
Jesus shit, Mario Kart 7 is hard as fucking hell. I thought I’d be golden from a childhood tempered by the rest of the series, but it’s not even like these computers cheat. They actually just race very well. Which is so much harder to deal with than outright cheating.
I too loose my temper and am filled with rage when it comes to Mario kart
Ha HA! We have a convert! XD
You know, re-reading : Danny managed to get Sal to stop disappearing from her room without notice and it’s quite a miracle. Give the boy some credit there.