Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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man sal's really got amazi-girl's number doesn't she
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September 20, 2023

Curbstompings

by David M Willis on May 17, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance

└ Tags: amazi-girl, carla, malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (325) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    May 17, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    AWWW

    [whew]

  2. LeslieBean4Shizzle
    LeslieBean4Shizzle
    May 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    … I am really, really worried that the next comic will involve dragging Amazi-girl behind one or more motorcycle.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “I’ll call you names!”
      “Ohhhhh. Like what.”
      “Like… DIAPERED DYNAMO.”
      “…whut”

      • Aprion
        Aprion
        May 17, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

        woah, I remember that game 😀

      • 0kami
        0kami
        May 17, 2014 at 3:10 am | #

        “You bludgeoned my father… and then talked about old times?”

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          May 17, 2014 at 3:58 am | #

          “A photographer took pictures, but her camera was stolen by the same thug that came after you.”

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      May 17, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      That sounds hilarious.

    • Some guy
      Some guy
      May 17, 2014 at 8:27 am | #

      It’ll only happen because Amazi-girl refuses to let go of the back of the motorcycle…

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 17, 2014 at 7:26 pm | #

        Oh man, what if she like steals a car to chase after Sal or something?

  3. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    May 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    So, was that taking the moral high ground or the lazy ground?

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I’m guessing, desite the drinking, Sal does NOT want to do juvy again [though I guess it’d be full prison this time]

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        despite

        [one-handed typing]

        [[I’m eating POPCORN you PERVS]]

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          May 17, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          It’s not getting any better. You spelled “beating it to cop-porn” wrong.

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            May 17, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

            I think I’d need meat to beat before I could beat it.

            • Shadow12000
              Shadow12000
              May 17, 2014 at 2:08 am | #

              Depends on how you’d like to interpret it, really.

            • LJoL
              LJoL
              May 17, 2014 at 2:56 am | #

              How young are you that society has failed to remove the blinder of youth? Because I have a link for you if you are legally corruptible and don’t yet believe that females can bop.

              • LJoL
                LJoL
                May 17, 2014 at 2:58 am | #

                Nuuu my link! My precious link! Stripped by the evil webcodes of the evil one!

                Meh.. just do a youtube search for ‘Cyndi Lauper’ and ‘Shebop’. And remember kids, Cyndi wants all girls to bop!

          • Beige
            Beige
            May 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            good sir, would you like an internet?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      YES!

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      May 17, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Whichever one acknowledges the surveillance cameras recording what’s going on.

      • hoop
        hoop
        May 17, 2014 at 8:37 am | #

        yes. I mean, nothing’s going to happen right now, because damned if any of the Walmart employees get paid enough to interrupt this nonsense, but if the cops come looking for the security tape, well, it’s over there.

        (It’s a shame you write these things so far in advance, David – I’d love to see a storyline where one of the Walmart employees puts the security tape on Worldstar. “CRAZY WHITE GIRL PARKING LOT BEATDOWN”)

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      The heigher lazier ground. Imagine a recliner at the top of a mountain.

    • TheOthin
      TheOthin
      May 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I think it’s mostly that she decided that if Amber was looking for a fight, there was no point in satisfying her, whatever her reasons.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        May 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        And if she’s looking for a fight, why play into her hand? Leave her as the aggressor and she’s still firmly in the wrong.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 17, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        Plus I guess she didn’t particularly feel like beating up some random crazy stranger.

    • J
      J
      May 17, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

      or just the spiteful route because amazi-girl flat-out said said she was looking for a fight.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 17, 2014 at 9:10 am | #

        That’s also true. Sal is very contrary, after all. Very much You Can’t Make Me; I’ll Do What I Want.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      May 17, 2014 at 3:17 am | #

      Well, she could have easily taken her mask off, so there is some moral high ground there.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 17, 2014 at 7:49 am | #

        Would there have been something amoral about unmasking Amazigirl?

  4. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    May 17, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    No…no cat fight?

    But I had money on Sal… and Amazi-girl… and Carla as a backup.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 17, 2014 at 11:29 am | #

      Nobody had money on Malaya except Yotomoe.

      • John
        John
        May 17, 2014 at 10:09 pm | #

        Pretty sure timemonkey did.

  5. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    If I didn’t know the context, I’d suspect Amazi-Girl’s a masochist who just wants to get beat up by a hot chick.

    But since I know better, I’d say that’s only about 5% true.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      You mean 50%. That’s probably the biggest reason for vigilantism.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        May 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        Oh, THAT’S why Batman has a thing for the criminal in tight leather with a whip.

        • dethtoll
          dethtoll
          May 17, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

          You kidding me? He almost had a thing with Poison Ivy! Like, a real, legit thing!

          It wasn’t to be, of course.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            May 17, 2014 at 1:40 am | #

            I love you and your hatred of men and ability to kill them through sexy makeouts. Oh wait.

          • StClair
            StClair
            May 17, 2014 at 1:52 am | #

            No, that was his best friend. The one with the secret massive anger issues.

            • masterofbones
              masterofbones
              May 17, 2014 at 2:41 am | #

              “secret”

      • Dr. Zeus
        Dr. Zeus
        May 17, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        Ya but you might end up thrown down a elevator shaft by Rorschach.

  6. Sam
    Sam
    May 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Well best possible outcome there.

    • -Sentinel-
      -Sentinel-
      May 17, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      For the characters, yes. As a reader though, I was kinda hoping for an extended action scene.

  7. HorchataShake
    HorchataShake
    May 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Denying her the satisfaction, fuck yes. I’m all for Amazigirl being like. cute fun. This shits ridiculous. get some fuckin therapy amber, christ.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 17, 2014 at 3:00 am | #

      She would punh her therapist.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 17, 2014 at 9:16 am | #

        A therapist would probably give her something else to punch. 🙂

        • gangler
          gangler
          May 17, 2014 at 7:28 pm | #

          An intern?

  8. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 17, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Looks like Amazi-Girl’s gonna have blue rage balls tonight.

    • Tom Speelman
      Tom Speelman
      May 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Yeah, this was certainly…anticlimatic *CSI shades* YEAHHHHHHHHHHH

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 17, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        Did you just

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 17, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        I don’t know about Amazi-Girl but I’ve had a satisfying climax.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 17, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

          Be sure to clean up.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      She’s gonna go home and rage kill SO many spiders.

      • Tom Speelman
        Tom Speelman
        May 17, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        Pretty soon, there will be no more spiders left in that game.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          May 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          She killed them so hard, they were erased from the game entirely.

          Like, went back in time and unprogrammed from ever being in the game.

          • maxyai
            maxyai
            May 17, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

            that’s bad-assery on the level of Chuck Norris.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            May 17, 2014 at 9:35 pm | #

            Later, she would be THE person to go to when you need some heavy debugging.

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              May 17, 2014 at 11:47 pm | #

              was that a “spiders are close enough to insects that people don’t care b/c they’re all creepy” pun

              • xKiv
                xKiv
                May 18, 2014 at 11:46 am | #

                Spiders bug me.

  9. LiaHansen
    LiaHansen
    May 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    SAL GOSHDARNIT YOU WILL FIGHT AND YOU WILL BOTH BE ON THE VERGE OF DESTRUCTION AND THEN YOU WILL UNITE AGAINST A COMMON ENEMY AND ULTIMATELY RECONCILE YOUR DIFFERENCES GOSHDARNIT

    • Batman
      Batman
      May 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      #spoileralert

  10. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 17, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    You’re not even worth Sal’s time Amazi-girl.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      You’re like math to her.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        Sal worked very hard at her math.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          May 17, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

          You’re like using doors and stairs to her.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          May 17, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

          Maybe that post was a roundabout way of suggesting a threesome?

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 17, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

          Hard? She only got a 76. And that’s been her best grade so far!!!

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            May 17, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

            Hey man, she studied a lot (and banged somebody) for that 78. That’s a lot more effort than she just put into this fight.

            I wonder if she has a mild learning disability, to explain why everything academic is just so much harder for her than for her twin. She certainly has a deep and thoughtful core, and she’s definitely not stupid or lazy.

            • Edrp
              Edrp
              May 17, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

              Sal is just in the wrong areas – she really just by going for some humanities and social sciences classes, as she definetely seems to have a good mind for that. Maths, on the other hand.. she’s in the wrong class.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                May 17, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

                That could be true. I bet she’d kick some serious butt in anything that talks about postcolonialism, for example. Or art/design. Or mechanical engineering. Or psychology. I don’t care whether her parents think it’s important, I would just love to see her finally win at school.

                • Edrp
                  Edrp
                  May 17, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

                  She’d kick major ass as a sociologist, or as a journalist focusing on social issues. If she’d want something more conventional and “approved”, maybe… law? I could see Sal as a human rights lawyer…

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  May 17, 2014 at 1:25 am | #

                  Yes! Anything that affirms her righteous anger at the broken system, and then channels it into making a difference in the world. Sweet.

                • John
                  John
                  May 17, 2014 at 4:03 am | #

                  This tangent’s led me to want to see Sal and Leslie together.

                  (Not like that.)

                  ((Okay, like that would be cool too. But I mean I just want to see how they’d interact.))

                • mistrali
                  mistrali
                  May 17, 2014 at 4:03 am | #

                  I’d like to see her be successful while acknowledging school isn’t her thing.

                • WaytoomanyUIDs
                  WaytoomanyUIDs
                  May 17, 2014 at 4:48 am | #

                  Yeah, but Mechnical Engineering, requires a metric fucktonne of maths, stuff like differential calculus and its uphill from there. Maybe one of those weird BA engineering degrees might not have it, but if you’re going to become an engineer you really need a BEng or BSc.

                • Avery
                  Avery
                  May 17, 2014 at 5:54 am | #

                  Mech E involves a lot of math.

                • Avery
                  Avery
                  May 17, 2014 at 6:02 am | #

                  Also, definitely not law, not unless she has a total personality change. Most lawyers do not get to do exciting things that make you feel good about yourself at the end of the day. Most lawyers have jobs that are incredibly boring, not to mention enforce those laws Sal hates. The average lawyer is more likely to spend 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, slogging through doc review and adding “allegedly” to every description of the product their company is suing 32 different other companies for infringement over, than to be doing anything remotely related to making human lives better.

                  I don’t know what Sal would be great at, but law definitely is not suited to her personality.

              • nekobawt
                nekobawt
                May 17, 2014 at 2:58 am | #

                i can accept that math isn’t her strong suit, at least not as it’s been taught to her (we have yet to see danny’s efficacy as a tutor), but it’s not like she’s going for a degree in it. as far as i know even english degrees require you to take math as a core class. and they’re freshmen, so they’d still be working on the core stuff.

                that being said, my only experience with college class requirements was an eighth-hearted (not anywhere close to half-hearted, i’m saying) attempt at a business degree, so a certain amount of math is bound to be required for that.

                • Edrp
                  Edrp
                  May 17, 2014 at 3:59 am | #

                  I have no idea about the US, since I’m Brazilian, but I’m have a bachelor’s degree in journalism, and I’m doimg a masters in Journalism, War and Conflict in Denmark and Wales, and I had ZERO math classes. So yeah, that is what I can add to it.

                • Annie
                  Annie
                  May 17, 2014 at 9:11 am | #

                  I majored in Sign Language Interpreting and needed 1 math class (specifically a course called College Algebra) and any science course. If memory serves, to major in English, English Education, and Art Education, (I started on these, but hadn’t 100% decided which I wanted to major in when I had to quit school) you needed that same math course and any 2 science courses. That was all the math and science needed and most people got it over and finished with freshman year.

                  It was more than enough for me, though. I did pretty well in the science classes, and found them fascinating, but only because I got to pick them. The college algebra course, however, took me 4 tries to pass despite working my ass off each time. I can certainly relate to Sal on that.

              • Jen Aside
                Jen Aside
                May 17, 2014 at 4:05 am | #

                She really just needs to go to mechanic school and earn like $80k/yr, EAT THAT LINDA

                [meanwhile, Walky becomes a nurse]

              • hoop
                hoop
                May 17, 2014 at 8:39 am | #

                Sal can come be in my class any time.

                I don’t mean that in a perverted way. I just, like, mean it.

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  May 17, 2014 at 9:25 am | #

                  Me too. In a couple years, she’d do just fine here in Social Work school.

              • PBManning
                PBManning
                May 17, 2014 at 11:46 am | #

                Some types of classes are mandatory at college, Sal probably wouldn’t be in that class if she had the option.

              • gangler
                gangler
                May 17, 2014 at 7:31 pm | #

                I hear one of the things you can do with a sociology degree is become a parole officer.

                I bet she’d actually be really good at that. From what I understand a lot of that job’s about looking intimidating and cutting through people’s bullshit. Pays really well too, though apparently it’s got a pretty high employee turnover rate because it’s just incredibly rough on the mental health.

            • Scott
              Scott
              May 17, 2014 at 2:03 am | #

              I’m guessing between being a middle school delinquent and juvee, she probably missed out on a lot of her math background. All those little holes in the foundation build up and make understanding and learning much more difficult as you progress to more complex mathematics. Source: 4 years of tutoring middle school to college math.

              • John
                John
                May 17, 2014 at 4:09 am | #

                I had serious problems with parts of calc in college because my trigonometry teacher in high school was more concerned about the state of my immortal soul than actually teaching anyone trig, so I was missing huge chunks of foundation. I’ve had to teach myself trig as an adult because I need it for 3D modeling.

              • drs
                drs
                May 17, 2014 at 10:48 am | #

                Yeah. Plus whatever “girls aren’t good at math” or “you aren’t good at math” she might have gotten.
                I’ve tutored people who had the basics of equation solving or matrix inversion down, but whose grasp of arithmetic — especially fractions and negative numbers — was not solid enough to enable to them to do the calculations all the way through. And the times tables are just a matter of rote memorization, and fractions/negative numbers a matter of good explanation, I feel.

  11. omnithea
    omnithea
    May 17, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Amber is about to bring up the robbery. It’s the best way to get a reaction. “Rob any gas stations lately? Any idea why you did it?”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      “Stab any hands lately?” Amber looks down in shame*

      • omnithea
        omnithea
        May 17, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

        Sick as it is, Amber is probably immensely proud of that stabbing. We have to remember that as screwed up as Amber is, in her eyes she’s going after the second biggest source of evil and frustration in her life. She already put No. 1 in the hospital.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          May 17, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

          yeah, when remembering the stabbing sends her into a panic attack, definitely proud of it, for sure

          • indignostudios
            indignostudios
            May 17, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

            … What if Joe winds up boning Carla in this universe?

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              May 17, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

              That’s either responding in the wrong place or just…way out of left field.

              • Kelly
                Kelly
                May 17, 2014 at 1:46 am | #

                Really. And I am guessing Carla is asexual in this universe too, so…

              • John
                John
                May 17, 2014 at 2:45 am | #

                It is wrong in many, many ways.

              • indignostudios
                indignostudios
                May 18, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

                Wrong place. I don’t know how, because I navigated away from this page and then came back and posted from the bottom box. Oh, well, at least I got to respond to Willis’s sexy, sexy avatar.

          • Chris Phoenix
            Chris Phoenix
            May 17, 2014 at 2:46 am | #

            Huh. I really thought it was the robbery that put her in a panic attack, not the stabbing.

            This makes more sense of that +1 you gave the commenter yesterday for saying Amber was unhappy remembering the non-fair “fight” that Sal lost.

            Thanks for filling in the character for us. She’s so all-over-the-place it’s not obvious to me _what_ her motivation or emotion-source is sometimes.

            • David M Willis
              David M Willis
              May 17, 2014 at 2:52 am | #

              Huh. I really thought it was the robbery that put her in a panic attack, not the stabbing.

              http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/ack/

              (though honestly it’s an all-of-the-above thing, not an either-or)

              • Deanatay
                Deanatay
                May 17, 2014 at 9:18 am | #

                BTW, that flashback comic demonstrates that Sal has amazing shoulders, and loves to bare them.

              • Dude
                Dude
                May 17, 2014 at 10:49 am | #

                Y’know, some of the open interpretation of art can be fruitful and fun, so it’s kind of a bummer when the artist keeps on intervening to tell us exactly what it means with no room for our own thoughts.

                • timemonkey
                  timemonkey
                  May 17, 2014 at 11:09 am | #

                  Understandable when the fanbase keeps drawing the wrong conclusions then treating them as facts.

                • David M Willis
                  David M Willis
                  May 17, 2014 at 11:11 am | #

                  Generally when there’s “open interpretation of art,” it doesn’t involve ignoring plain information which has been presented again and again and is the central building block of stories for the past year and a half. Claiming Amber is “proud” of the things she’s done is as useful to a discussion about this comic strip as it would be to say she’s a raccoon.

                  Plus as a person who suffers panic attacks similar to Amber’s, I find the notion just plain insulting on a personal level. I will correct people when they are wrong on this because it is more important than my stupid comic strip.

                • Andrusi
                  Andrusi
                  May 17, 2014 at 2:49 pm | #

                  Amber is a raccoon?! HEY GUYS AMBER IS A RACCOON.

                • Wack'd
                  Wack'd
                  May 17, 2014 at 3:16 pm | #

                  AMAZI-RACC

              • NotFred
                NotFred
                May 17, 2014 at 3:59 pm | #

                Wait, sorta my mind just turn 180, could it be that the revenge Amber is looking for is not hers but Sal’s?

                • NotFred
                  NotFred
                  May 17, 2014 at 6:45 pm | #

                  Well, I was thinking about like “I hurt you bad and unfairly, you deserve to get a fair chance with me” but rereading a bit I guess no.

                  I think it is more like “I ashamed of how I did it, let me try to beat you fair way and redeem myself”.

                  Though, it is better than “I want to pulp you down cause after five years I still mad at you”.

  12. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    May 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    *lowers popcorn with disappointment*

    Awwww, I wanted a dramatically awesome fight scene. Then again, this isn’t necessarily the end, either.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Amazi-girl is being held down by 3 skater girls. *raises popcorn*

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        May 17, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        That scene should have been an option for an 8½ x 11″ print in the Kickstarter.

        • Rheinman
          Rheinman
          May 17, 2014 at 8:13 am | #

          I was hoping it would be the premise for the next NSFW storyline 😉

          • Lel
            Lel
            May 17, 2014 at 9:04 am | #

            I somehow can’t see Malaya, Carla or Amazi-Girl just spontaneously deciding it’s time for consensual sex. So probably not.
            No idea about Marcie.

          • Andrusi
            Andrusi
            May 17, 2014 at 2:50 pm | #

            I am really disturbed by this comment chain.

            • Kernanator
              Kernanator
              May 17, 2014 at 9:16 pm | #

              But not surprised.

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          May 17, 2014 at 3:17 pm | #

          I would love a print of Yotomoe eating popcorn, personally.

  13. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 17, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Just imagine Bale’s Batman sucked on some helium and said “Pretty Please”, I’m not sure if that would be funny or just plain freaky sounding.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      I can’t even imagine what this would sound like. It’s like a …oxymoron.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        May 17, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

        A Google search turned up…disappointment.

    • Batman
      Batman
      May 17, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      *tries it*
      Definitely funny. I almost smiled.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 17, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

        +1

  14. hoovy_woopeans
    hoovy_woopeans
    May 17, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Malaya has the biggest >:( face in the first panel.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      The cutest >:C face too. She’s like an angry cat.

      • hoovy_woopeans
        hoovy_woopeans
        May 17, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        exactly the description I was looking for

        • StClair
          StClair
          May 17, 2014 at 3:59 am | #

          (to complete the meme:)

          “I had fun once, it was awful.”

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            May 18, 2014 at 1:18 pm | #

            I had fun once.

            It was awful.

  15. Syclamoth
    Syclamoth
    May 17, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    It’s weird seeing Sal talking to herself here.

  16. Leorale
    Leorale
    May 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    …This makes perfect sense. It’s a bit of a letdown, but it sure makes sense.

    On the other hand, I really enjoy the hint towards Sal’s constant awareness of the inequity of the system. Because that’s neat.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      It’s hard out there for a pimp.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        May 17, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

        There’s a barber in Brooklyn who disagrees.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 17, 2014 at 3:23 pm | #

        It’s getting difficult for a ghoul.

  17. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 17, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Sal certainly said some thought provoking stuff in the 2nd and 3rd panels.

    Laws ARE indeed meant to be broken indeed.

    • TheOthin
      TheOthin
      May 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      It’s not the first time she’s mentioned it, either. Remember way back when they were talking about going to the cops about the guy who drugged Joyce?

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        May 17, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        Don’t recall that but thats a good enough excuse to reread the older strips again.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          May 17, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

          The ones devoid of alt-text? Never!

          Oh right, I keep forgetting I have the books until I randomly read them front to back in one sitting.

  18. John
    John
    May 17, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Sal gets all the points.

  19. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    May 17, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Wait, Amazi-Girl is an old man?

    I did not see that coming at all.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      She’s talking about institutionalized racism.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        Oh, derp on me, you were joking. Right then, carry on.

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          May 17, 2014 at 11:36 am | #

          It’s cool. Considering how far some people are going to explain how things aren’t racism, I can (unfortunately) imagine a few people being really confused why Sal is calling Amazi-Girl what she did.

      • Random832
        Random832
        May 17, 2014 at 1:50 pm | #

        Whereas Amazi-Girl is talking about personal revenge. I hope this miscommunication doesn’t have any long-term consequences.

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      May 17, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      And she would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling teenagers.

      Wait, she’s the one meddling [in a half-assed attempt at getting drunk]. Never mind.

    • John
      John
      May 17, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

      Amazi-Girl is actually Reagan.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        May 17, 2014 at 1:48 am | #

        So that is what he did after Shortpacked!

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 17, 2014 at 7:24 am | #

      At this point, she’ll say whatever she thinks will get Sal to fight with her, true or not.

  20. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    May 17, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    This was a battle of wills, not fists. Amazi-Girl’s wave of rage crashed against Sal’s shore and was broken. And she’s left with the worst possible kind of defeat, the indifference of your enemy, the knowledge you aren’t even worth fighting.

    • arank11
      arank11
      May 17, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      “Ohhhh, Baaaaaatmaaaaaan? I’m about to poison Gotham’s water supplyyyyy! Better come stop me!”
      “Sorry, Joker. There’s a new Big Bang Theory on tonight. Maybe some other time.”
      “Oh… Well, alright then. I suppose I’ll just unleash all of this poison with no one to stop me then! MWA HA HA HAA!!!”
      “Dude, Joker, can you shut up for a second? Leonard and Penny are about to get back together!”
      “But, Batman, shouldn’t you come and stop me? I mean, I’m about to literally dump toxic waste into Gotham’s water supply! This is, like, a major crime!”
      “Joker, I’ll tell you exactly how it’s going to go down: you’ll explain your evil plan, then I’ll drop kick you in the face, you’ll go back to Arkham, and I’ll have missed Sheldon doing something awesome! The last time you did this, I missed the episode of Family Guy where Brian died, then had to spend the next 24 hours hiding from literally everyone to avoid spoilers before I could watch the episode on my DVR! I’m not taking that chance again!”
      “Come on! Pleeeeeez come and fight me!”
      “Joker, NO!”
      “Come on! Harley’s on her period and all my villain friends are in prison! I have nothing else to do tonight! Please come and fight me!”
      “NO!”
      “Well what else am I supposed to do then?”
      “…You wanna come over and watch The Big Bang Theory?”
      “……………..Fine.”

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 17, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

        “He’ll never love you, sweetheart! You can keep screwing with his city, but he’s never gonna take you to the prom!”

      • Ben
        Ben
        May 17, 2014 at 2:35 am | #

        This just made my night…

      • Andrusi
        Andrusi
        May 17, 2014 at 2:52 pm | #

        Please. Batman practiced hard to be the best at everything, including having taste. He’d never watch The Big Bang Theory.

    • FuryOfFirestorm
      FuryOfFirestorm
      May 17, 2014 at 3:43 am | #

      I’ll bet that Amber will goad Sal by fessing up to stabbing her hand.

  21. brionl
    brionl
    May 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Let’s Dive? They’re going swimming?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      That’s probably the best outcome for this night.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        May 17, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

        Roller Derby girls in swimsuits? Best ending, 100% completion.

        • JustCheetoDust
          JustCheetoDust
          May 17, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

          The final ending, after multiple New Game+ runs.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 17, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

      ohhhhhhh I thought she said, “Let’s drive.”

      …no, don’t get it

    • Chris
      Chris
      May 17, 2014 at 9:27 am | #

      Maybe Sal owns a submarine?

    • Rosie
      Rosie
      May 17, 2014 at 1:53 pm | #

      I assume she means “leave” but I could not find this definition in Urban Dictionary so I can’t be at all sure I’m correct. Sometimes Sal talks less like a modern teen of any subculture and more like a 1930s movie mobster. It’s kind of charming.

  22. Jake
    Jake
    May 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    oh, good. the last panel shows Carla’s feet and the roller skates are confirmed. I think it is cute that Malaya has skates too. I’m not expecting them to get together in this universe, but that connection between them is appreciated.

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 17, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

      Carla being on regular skates (1 wheel to a corner) was already confirmed here.

  23. Khaner
    Khaner
    May 17, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Sal Vs. Ultra-Girl in a Hair vs. Mask match at Summerslam 2014! Don’t miss it! Winner also gets to fight (and lose) to John Cena in the main event!

    • Some1udontknow
      Some1udontknow
      May 17, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      Sal would show up and then Cena would forfeit before the mach started.

    • John
      John
      May 17, 2014 at 2:43 am | #

      People talking about John Cena always weirds me out, because his brother Steve was one of my best friends in college. I met the guy before he was anything but Steve’s obnoxious little brother. There’s knowing that WWE is fiction, and then there’s actually having known his family, crashed at his childhood home, before they started making up the fiction…

      • Khaner
        Khaner
        May 17, 2014 at 12:10 pm | #

        Okay that IS kind of weird…

  24. T Campbell
    T Campbell
    May 17, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    I wouldn’t conclude this is over yet. I’m not sure Amazi-Girl will let it be. Let’s not forget, she believes this is her last night as Amazi-Girl. As far as she knows, it is now or it is never.

    Of course, an extended fight here is kind of no-win for all parties involved. If Sal and her troupe win, they’re the ones who stomped a campus hero who really was making a lot of people feel safer, and what’s left of Amber’s self-confidence may well be shattered. On the other hand, if Sal and company lose, they get a lot of humiliation and Amazi-Girl gets that much further away from actual hero toward psycho thug.

    In either case, all parties involved will likely get some public attention from the paper. Dorothy might have to reconsider her (probable) decision not to expose Amber. And Sal will get a spotlight she REALLY doesn’t want, either as the villain in Amazi-Girl’s hero narrative or as one of the girls named when Malaya decides to go public with her editorial, “The Fuckin’ Psycho Fuckin’ Jumped Me: A Fuckin’ Retrospective.”

    • DD
      DD
      May 17, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

      I like the no-win for all parties involved ending. Both Sal and Amber getting their shit kicked in would probably have a bigger impact on what violence (either domestic or institutionalized) really means to them and what they are doing to themselves because of their experiences with it.

      • T Campbell
        T Campbell
        May 17, 2014 at 2:56 am | #

        I feel it’s unlikely that either Sal or Amber would learn or grow from the experience of getting the shit kicked out of them here. Neither’s problem is that they think they’re invincible. Amazi-Girl might appear that way to an outsider, but Amber in fact feels all too vulnerable as her non-costumed self, and more like she’s losing control than gaining it. Sal is pretty much just trying to get by and build a better life for herself. She may have problems with authority and feel the need to defy it in muted ways, but I don’t think that extends to finding random people on the street to beat up, just because.

    • takashid
      takashid
      May 17, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      Honestly, I feel like Amber has already taken a few steps towards psycho thug here, what with the whole pre planned assault she just tried to commit on four people who were minding their own business. I doubt she will let this go easily either of course, but she is way out of line already.

      • Godozo
        Godozo
        May 17, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

        The assault was just for Sal, the other three girls just happened to be there when Amazi-girl came upon Sal. That Amazi-girl decided to attack anyway shows how far gone she is.

        Like Rorschach in The Watchman (sorry, but that character is stuck in my mind at the moment).

        • John
          John
          May 17, 2014 at 1:52 am | #

          Amazi-Girl actually didn’t decide to attack. Even after Malaya jumped her, she was still trying to talk Sal into being the monster she envisions her as.

          • takashid
            takashid
            May 17, 2014 at 5:03 am | #

            She was clearly picking a fight though.

            First thing she does after her aggressive entrance and threatening words is tell Malaya to “come at her”. After knocking Malaya down she tells them to “come at me one at a time”. In this strip she is practically begging Sal for a fight.

            Just because she hasn’t thrown a punch because she’s desperately clinging to the beer thing as an attempt to justify her violent desires and stay on her moral high horse doesn’t mean she hasn’t decided to attack. She already hit Malaya.

            • John
              John
              May 17, 2014 at 9:16 pm | #

              Amazi-Girl hit Malaya when Malaya attacked her. And she’s trying to goad Sal into attacking her too, so she has an excuse to hit Sal as well. But she hasn’t attacked Sal and I don’t think she will. It’s an important distinction to Amazi-Girl, I think, that she not be the attacker, because she can justify the violence if she’s fighting back against someone who has attacked her or an innocent first. Actively trying to provoke that attack so that she can ethically fight back is maybe cutting that distinction a little fine, but I think it’s important to her.

              And note I’m talking about “Amazi-Girl” here, not “Amber”. Amber will (as demonstrated) totally stab you by surprise from behind after your threat has already been neutralized, or keep hitting you after you’ve gone down until someone drags her off of you, because she’s scared and angry and fights like a cornered rat. Amazi-Girl, on the other hand, is a superhero. That’s the fundamental core of her identity, the whole reason she even exists. And superheros don’t attack innocents; they can be violent, but they use that violence in defense of themselves or others. So Amazi-Girl won’t attack. She’ll offer herself to be attacked, and then fight back, but she won’t attack.

              And those who insist that Amazi-Girl is dangerous to Amber and others and needs to go away… note that Amazi-Girl’s not just an outlet for Amber’s rage and violence. She’s a control on it. Amber is far and away the more dangerous of Ms. O’Malley’s personae.

      • T Campbell
        T Campbell
        May 17, 2014 at 2:42 am | #

        Oh, sure, ‘swhy I said “further.” She started down that path with Blaine if not before.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 17, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      I really routing for Amazi-Girl to completely fail. Once Amber can’t rely on it anymore she’ll have to actually start dealing with her trauma.

      • T Campbell
        T Campbell
        May 17, 2014 at 2:24 am | #

        I’d agree if I thought failure was going to help Amber in that regard. That’s what makes this thorny. It’s not really THAT much of an improvement if Amber falls to the biker gang and goes back to being afraid of everyone and everything: I guess it makes her less of a danger to others, but it also makes her realistically a suicide risk.

        I’d like for her to be swayed from her current dark path without losing the power that allows her to stand up when it’s really needed. SOMEONE has to stand against people like Blaine and Ryan. Someone has to tell other scared girls there’s hope. But right now, I can’t see any obvious ways for her to get there.

    • Godozo
      Godozo
      May 17, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      Agreed that this isn’t over yet. Remember, Amber stabbed Sal’s hand during Sal’s arrest – AFTER the cops had things under control.

      Also, don’t be surprised if Sal knows that Amazi-Girl is Amber – and that Amber’s the girl who stabbed her. Sal may have plans of her own to launch against Amber – plans that involve cops, judges, other authority figures and permanent records. And once they link her father’s beating to her, watch out – this is Southern Indiana we’re talking about, where Honor Your Father and Mother is Iron Law, no matter what they did and/or do to the child.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 17, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

        Sal doesn’t know who Amber is. Sal didn’t know Amazi-Girl existed until a few minutes ago.

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          May 17, 2014 at 3:08 am | #

          sal is also highly unlikely to invite cops to have anything to do with her, given her feelings on the system and such.

      • Nightsbridge
        Nightsbridge
        May 17, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

        Sal doesn’t trust the cops or authority figures. Not likely.

      • luxlucis
        luxlucis
        May 17, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

        Nah, too much.

  25. arank11
    arank11
    May 17, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    I actually feel a little sorry for Amazi-girl here. This is kind of like a little girl seeing this cake. All she wants to do is (And please don’t make this sexual) eat the cake; all she can ever think about after seeing the cake is eating it. Then, when she finally gets the chance to eat the cake, the cake is all like “Nah. Ah’m gonna go let some other kid eat me” and just leaves the kid sitting there like an idiot, her greatest wish unfulfilled. Why can’t we let Amazi-girl metaphorically eat her metaphorical cake?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      Why couldn’t the metaphor be not a cake? Cake seems to be quite a stretch, metaphor-wise. Puppy would be better (I avoided kitty for reasons of not sexualizing it.)

      • me
        me
        May 17, 2014 at 10:57 pm | #

        Why would the little girl want to eat a puppy? Is she really hungry?

    • Beige
      Beige
      May 17, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      considering in that case eating said cake involves beating the crap out of an innocent girl like some kind of psycho… no, no we cannot

      because if she eats that cake, no matter how much she wants to, she’s throwing her life away.

    • Batman
      Batman
      May 17, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      Your analogy is great; except you should substitute the word “poison” for “cake.”

      See, what the rest of us see is a battered and emotionally broken girl obsessed with something that can only hurt her more. I don’t feel bad for her that she’s being forcibly prevented from further assaulting people; I feel bad for her for everything that led her to want to assault people.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        May 17, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        Nicely put.
        (And rather poignant, considering it’s coming from Batman. It’s always easier to see other people’s problems, isn’t it?)

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 17, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        Technically, cake is still bad for you, even if it tastes good at the moment you eat it. And everyone can see you shouldn’t eat the cake.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          May 17, 2014 at 9:36 am | #

          All things in moderation… except for beating people up. I’ll stick with the poison metaphor; Amber wants a route that’s just plain toxic.

      • PlainMarie
        PlainMarie
        May 17, 2014 at 11:02 am | #

        This ^

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 17, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

      Because she doesn’t deserve the cake. She’s been bad and doesn’t deserve delicious moist Sal cake with revenge frosting.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 17, 2014 at 3:27 am | #

      Yes, Amber really should savagely beat Sal to a bloody pulp because that is the same as wanting cake.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 17, 2014 at 2:04 pm | #

        I mean, we seem to be supposing this cake is a sentient entity, so eating it would probably be an act of extreme violence.

        If I were to guess I’d say the “Nah. Ah’m gonna go let some other kid eat me” bit is merely an excuse the cake uses when ignorant minds don’t understand that the cake might not want to be eaten at all. After all, it’s not as if Sal’s walking off to let some other vigilante spread her blood across the parking lot.

  26. takashid
    takashid
    May 17, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    HELL YES SAL!

  27. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    May 17, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    So the winners are the fans?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      Because shit did not hit them?

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        May 17, 2014 at 8:08 am | #

        Yotomoe, that is the best response ever. I bow to you.

  28. Dr. Zeus
    Dr. Zeus
    May 17, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

    Damn it Amber you’re breaking my heart. Seeing her devolve in such a way is just painful yet so understandable. It’s all just so, so sad.

    Also, scared old men? Kind of makes us think of someone’s father doesn’t it?

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 17, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

      Blaine isn’t scared. He’s a mad beast.

      I think Sal was going for the old scared dudes in charge, like, institutionalized racism.

      • Dr. Zeus
        Dr. Zeus
        May 17, 2014 at 2:15 am | #

        Yes but I would probably say that Blaine, not matter how he may object, is scared. He is if nothing else, I’d say, scared of losing control. Hence is appearance at the dorm when he wasn’t on the list. He wanted to show power and that he still ruled the family. Not that he actually did but I think that he wanted to show that he did.

        That all being said I agree with what you said about Sal’s meaning but coupled with Amber’s actions I think that there is an interesting parallel to examine, especially since this largely seems to be Amber trying to show power and control.

      • mistrali
        mistrali
        May 17, 2014 at 4:14 am | #

        Sorry, but I’m confused on what institutionalised racism has to do with either Sal’s point or underage drinking.

        • greengeekgirl
          greengeekgirl
          May 17, 2014 at 5:55 am | #

          Because Sal believes herself to have been the victim of institutionalized racism from the time she was small, even by her own parents, who picked Walky over her a lot of the time because he was a few shades lighter… which is part of what the recent Walky flashback was about, when only one of them got picked for the audition and he realized Sal was right.

        • greengeekgirl
          greengeekgirl
          May 17, 2014 at 5:59 am | #

          See also, this strip: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/princess/

  29. ridtom
    ridtom
    May 17, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    Did… did Sal just Social-Fu Amazi-Girl?

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 17, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

      So it would seem! Sal is just that cool.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 17, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

        Sal learned some aikido with that ASL

  30. takashid
    takashid
    May 17, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

    Also, someone needs to help Sal on her english, not her math, cause I’ve never seen drive spelled D-I-V-E

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

      Naw, she means take a dive, so it looks like Amazi-girl kicked all their asses so the cops arrest her when they show up.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 17, 2014 at 3:29 am | #

        I’d be a little surprised if it’s this one off Urban Dictionary:

        dive
        to perform oral sex, usually on females
        that chick wanted me to dive her box, yo.

        • John
          John
          May 17, 2014 at 4:24 am | #

          That interpretation does put a whole different spin on A-G’s line in the last panel!

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      May 17, 2014 at 3:38 am | #

      Why would Sal say “let’s drive”? You don’t really drive skates.

      • John
        John
        May 17, 2014 at 4:22 am | #

        Sal owns a motorcycle? Though you don’t really drive those either, I guess. I’m not familiar with this diving idiom, anyway.

        • takashid
          takashid
          May 17, 2014 at 4:57 am | #

          Yeah, i guess I’m not familiar with the slang here? What does “lets dive.” mean?

          • gangler
            gangler
            May 17, 2014 at 7:04 am | #

            Let’s leave. Let’s get out of here. You could also say it “Let’s bounce” or “Let’s skedaddle”

            She is suggesting they remove themselves from Amazigirl’s company.

      • brionl
        brionl
        May 17, 2014 at 11:22 am | #

        Unless it’s some sort of hoosier slang, I’d have expected her to say “Let’s Roll” or something.

  31. newllend
    newllend
    May 17, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

    That I respect, to bad the reason why she’s doing this is neither one of those things

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

      …
      Check, Please.

  32. Double M
    Double M
    May 17, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

    *cuts off the Limp Bizkit I was playing in anticipation for an ass-whooping*

  33. March
    March
    May 17, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

    Jesus, this whole storyline is sad, in a good way. Amber so wants a fight, and Sal just won’t give her one.

  34. -Sentinel-
    -Sentinel-
    May 17, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

    It’s sorta strange to see Sal use minced oaths like “dang”, when we know how foul-mouthed she can be (especially when playing Mario Kart).

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

      I fucking cuss like a goddamn sailor, bongo. But even I say Dang and Crap from time to time.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 17, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

      I think it’s like how she would talk if paraphrasing Joyce’s thoughts — using the words Joyce would use, not her own vocabulary. In other words, Sal’s saying that she thinks Amazi-Girl’s a kind of goody-two-shoes (super-)hero…

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      May 17, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

      All I got from this is that making AG suffer psychologically is easier than playing Mario Kart.

      And on that note I’m hopping on Amazon to pre-order Mario Kart 8.

      • John
        John
        May 17, 2014 at 1:48 am | #

        Making Amber suffer psychologically is, like, Trauma Theatre easy-mode.

    • John
      John
      May 17, 2014 at 1:46 am | #

      It’s been a while since I did the initial F-bomb count, and I wasn’t smart enough to actually preserve which-strip information while counting, so I may be a little fuzzy on the details, but as I recall, in the whole first three weeks of school (up to the argument with Walky on family day evening), Sal dropped exactly two F-bombs, both of them on Walky. She said things like “freakin'” or “fu-” pretty often, but rarely busted out the full “fuck”.

      She has been… much more prolific since. Even leaving out the Mario-Kart cluster bombing, in the last three (in-comic) days she’s said “fuck’ more than she did in the first three weeks. I’m not sure if this is intentionally indicative of something. Maybe the whole Avalon-uniform fiasco on get-totally-ignored-by-your-family-except-for-the-racist-remarks weekend soured her on trying to pose as the good little girl, so she’s not self-censoring like she was before.

      Maybe kind of makes sense that she’s gone back to being someone who says “dang” for Amazi-Girl’s benefit.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 17, 2014 at 9:41 am | #

        It may be a matter of mood. Sal may drop f-bombs when she’s in a comfortable setting, around people she knows. In social settings, she may use more restrained language. (Yes, drinking beers in a Walmart parking lot is a social situation – except Marcie, she doesn’t really know these people well.)

  35. 3oranges
    3oranges
    May 17, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

    Not only does that not make sense, but Sal didn’t even say white.

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 17, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

      That was a reply to a comment that disappeared, not without reason.

      • Edrp
        Edrp
        May 17, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

        Thankfully, I’d say. I was about to point to that person that out of 1950 US senators, only NINE were black. So yeah. Even ignoring the utter lack of sense… oh screw it, I don’t even know why I care

  36. Nena
    Nena
    May 17, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

    Sam is a lot smarter than she lets on.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 17, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

      Correction: Sal is a lot smarter than people tend to assume, based on her surface appearance and presentation.

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 17, 2014 at 7:28 am | #

        Much like her brother.

  37. Tomas
    Tomas
    May 17, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

    Wow. I just got a ton more respect for Sal (and Willis, I guess) for acknowledging that in the real world, masked vigilantes are usually bullies and thugs who think the law is too lenient with “undesirables”.

  38. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    May 17, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

    Well I was expecting a “meh” from Sal, and I got it.

    I expected it to come after Amber mentioned something about the convenience store incident, but I got it, so I’ll take it.

  39. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    May 17, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

    See they can just leave her in their dust. I’m pretty Amber hasn’t went out and bought an Amazi-cycle off panel.

  40. Darwin
    Darwin
    May 17, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

    Developed some respect for Sal, and I’ve got to say I’m digging the DoA Carla. “Assert my dominance through sweet pranks”. I can dig that.

  41. Rocket Lobster
    Rocket Lobster
    May 17, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

    She got that trick from Mike.

  42. etybolik
    etybolik
    May 17, 2014 at 1:24 am | #

    So…so Sal isn’t Amazi-girl?

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      May 17, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

      How can she possibly be Amazi-Girl when she is busy being Spider-Car?

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 17, 2014 at 9:47 am | #

        The Black Bandit?
        Scar-Hand?
        Blackscar?
        (These are all hero/villain names… various people… came up with for her.)

        • Crumplepunch
          Crumplepunch
          May 18, 2014 at 4:08 am | #

          I was actually going to type Spider-Car but decided it was unfunny so I bailed.

          I didn’t know I’d actually posted.

          You sure showed me, WordPress!

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 17, 2014 at 9:45 am | #

      Don’t tell Billie. She’d crack.

  43. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    May 17, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

    Let’s hear it for old men.

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      May 17, 2014 at 1:31 am | #

      That should have included this link:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxi7JRJrod4

  44. Aprion
    Aprion
    May 17, 2014 at 1:31 am | #

    well, that was anticlimactic.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 17, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

      Probably not over. Just sayin.

      • John
        John
        May 17, 2014 at 2:50 am | #

        The storyline title is “Up All Night To Get Vengeance”, and the night’s barely started.

        Of course, much of the last storyline wasn’t about being a churchmouse…

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 17, 2014 at 9:49 am | #

          Actually, it’s been established that it’s past 4am. The night’s mostly gone.

          • John
            John
            May 17, 2014 at 5:10 pm | #

            It’s been a while since I was in college, but from what I recall, 4am Monday night/Tuesday morning… the night’s still young! Sleep? You can sleep tomorrow night! Or in class. That’s what they make you take that Computers for Morons class for, right?

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 17, 2014 at 4:10 am | #

        That would be kinda funny if the next strip was just the sunrise.

        CHAPTER OVER

  45. Rybridge
    Rybridge
    May 17, 2014 at 2:15 am | #

    In an interesting way, this is a brilliant deconstruction of great super hero/villain pairings you see in comics, being they are such great foils for each other. At their root, Sal and Amber feel like the same character to me. Both are characters that have been traumatized by horrible factor(s) of their lives (Sal by family favoritism and racism, Amber by abuse, etc.) and because of these traumas they have lashed out in unhealthy ways. In fact it was Sal’s outbreak that helped build on Amber’s trauma, making her feel afraid and weak, and giving her father something else to emotionally abuse her over. And now the destructive actions of Amber are coming full circle towards Sal. It kind of feels like Laertes going after Hamlet. In a world that wronged Hamlet, Hamlet wronged Laertes, who then continues the destructive cycle.

  46. Ben
    Ben
    May 17, 2014 at 2:50 am | #

    Hmmm… this… could still lead to my favored ending to this whole scenario wherein Sal helps Amazi-Amber to deal with her issues by sitting around drinking with her. Honestly I feel like that would almost be the best ending, in large part because, while far from being the same causes, they both presented the symptoms of their anger in the same way, violent acting out. The only difference is that Sal seems to have already figured out how to deal with her trauma in a significantly healthier way while Amber still requires the Amazigirl persona to help her compartmentalize her issues, forcing them to stay in a box until the box can no longer hold all the discontent and anger. so really, if there’s any hope for Amber /not/ getting put in either prison or an institution even for a short time, Sal’s ironically the best she has.

    • Ben
      Ben
      May 17, 2014 at 2:51 am | #

      dang it danny face… you ruin my intentions with your danny-ing up of things….

  47. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 17, 2014 at 2:59 am | #

    Wow, Amber, YOU ARE SCARY.

    Really. That’s it. Scary.

    • Stranger
      Stranger
      May 17, 2014 at 8:32 am | #

      Really? You sure its not sad and pathetic?

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 18, 2014 at 5:34 am | #

        It’s that grin. She has her father’s face more and more every time she smiles.

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 18, 2014 at 5:37 am | #

        Hey, at least we went one comic without Amber pulling off a certifiably scary grin.

        You know, like her father.

  48. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    May 17, 2014 at 3:10 am | #

    This is how I’d hoped it would go.

    Love Sal, knew she wouldn’t go for a 4 to 1 beat-down.

    And having been sent away once already, maybe this kind of thing could send her up for hard time, so she is going to make it count, if it happens at all. Not a gang stomp against a screwed up crusader without the brains to consider a 4 to one may not go well for herself.

    I think walking away and letting Amazi-girl rage/plead is just what she would do.

    But, will Malaya? We know Carla will, and that Marci will follow Sal where ever she goes. But Malaya is mean nuts.

    Going for a dive Sal? Suspect David dropped an ‘r’.

    This may not end with anyone in physical pain, but what can Amazi-girl do now? Amber has it in her head that this is the last night she can settle with Sal, as she thinks her story will be in the paper via Dorothy.

    With all her avenues closed, what in Hell is she going to do? Her back was to the wall before, and now she is really up against it.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 17, 2014 at 7:38 am | #

      Having seen that just like Ethan said, Sal isn’t the person she was years ago, ideally this would force Amber to confront the idea that there’s no reason she needs to be the same person she was either. That maybe she should seek out alternatives to slapping a mask over the violence her father put in her.

      It would actually be kind of neat if this lead up to Amber getting Sal to pass on a bit of what they taught in Juvenile Detention about correcting harmful behaviors.

  49. Jesse
    Jesse
    May 17, 2014 at 3:14 am | #

    Wait, no, where are you going?! C’mon! Fight! Fight! Fight! What if someone put some kick-ass rave music on in the background? It’ll be cool! Guys?

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 17, 2014 at 9:53 am | #

      But… but… but…. punchings?

  50. Nym
    Nym
    May 17, 2014 at 3:24 am | #

    Yes, this is the better way to go. I love this.

  51. FuryOfFirestorm
    FuryOfFirestorm
    May 17, 2014 at 3:37 am | #

    Damn. I was so hoping that Amber would kick her ass and take Sal down a peg. Don’t go around acting like the baddest bongo in town if you aren’t going to back it up. A motorcycle and a juvie record does not a badass make.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 17, 2014 at 4:17 am | #

      -1

    • Stara
      Stara
      May 17, 2014 at 8:26 am | #

      Sal doesn’t THINK she’s cool, though. She tells people not to look up to her, the attention makes her uncomfortable. (Though she probably wants a large amount of it, too– awkward split, there).Joyce and Co. decided she’s cool.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 17, 2014 at 8:53 am | #

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/bunk/

        Kind of says it all in terms of Sal’s relationship with cool.

      • FuryOfFirestorm
        FuryOfFirestorm
        May 17, 2014 at 4:54 pm | #

        Being cool and being tough (or giving off the appearance of being tough) are not quite the same thing. They intersect a lot, but one does not equal the other.

    • Rosie
      Rosie
      May 17, 2014 at 10:24 am | #

      You do realize that you’re essentially saying, “This college freshman’s attitude annoys me, therefore someone should beat the shit out of her?” Regardless of Sal’s badassness, whether or not she has it, and her attitude towards it, she has done nothing to justify violence.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        May 17, 2014 at 10:39 am | #

        You don’t get it. Sal may or may not think she is cool, and this means she needs to be brutally punched in the face. It’s pretty simple!

      • FuryOfFirestorm
        FuryOfFirestorm
        May 17, 2014 at 4:59 pm | #

        “Beat the shit out of her”? No. But a good swift kick in the taco? Sure. Remember that Sal didn’t do “nothing”….she threatened to stab someone over some cash in a register and traumatized Amber.

        • gangler
          gangler
          May 17, 2014 at 5:04 pm | #

          …and then Amber stabbed her. And then 5 years passed.

          • FuryOfFirestorm
            FuryOfFirestorm
            May 17, 2014 at 5:40 pm | #

            Was it really 5 ears ago? Huh. I wasn’t aware of how long ago it occurred.

            Nonetheless, it obviously stayed with Amber, and this is her misguided way of dealing with it.

        • fit-to-freak
          fit-to-freak
          May 17, 2014 at 7:05 pm | #

          In the taco???? Are you actually implying what it sounds like you’re implying????

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            May 18, 2014 at 1:44 pm | #

            Butt… taco…
            Butt taco…

            AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 17, 2014 at 10:55 am | #

      So, Amazi-Girl needs to beat Sal, because Sal thinks she’s cool without proving it. But doesn’t by defeating Amazi-Girl and calmly refusing her twisted game not prove her badassness? So the attitude is totally justified.

      • FuryOfFirestorm
        FuryOfFirestorm
        May 17, 2014 at 5:02 pm | #

        This isn’t about proving who is cool, but rather who is tough.

        Sal probably heard about AG beating the crap out of a grown man, and this is a way for her to back out without losing face in front of her friends.

        • gangler
          gangler
          May 17, 2014 at 5:17 pm | #

          Why on earth would any human being who is a member of a civilized society care about proving who’s tough?

          • FuryOfFirestorm
            FuryOfFirestorm
            May 17, 2014 at 5:38 pm | #

            Hey, I didn’t say it would make sense. Amber not’s thinking right, and feels that proving she’s tougher than Sal will alleviate the negative self-worth and anxiety stemming from the gas station robbery.

            Also, if people actually knew the answer to your question, MMA fighting wouldn’t exist.

            • gangler
              gangler
              May 17, 2014 at 5:42 pm | #

              No, you. You seem very invested in proving that Sal’s not as tough as you seem to feel she’s been projecting.

              MMA is sport. You’re hardly proposing that Sal should test her body against Amber’s within any setting like that. You’re proposing that Sal needs to get attacked in a Walmart parking lot.

              • FuryOfFirestorm
                FuryOfFirestorm
                May 17, 2014 at 6:00 pm | #

                You’re right. Looking back on my previous comments, it looks like I let my distaste for Sal cloud my better judgement. She’s actually exercising good judgement while Amber is dead set on working her issues all over Sal’s face.

                It’s kind of weird that I was so invested in seeing one fictional character beat the crap out of another fictional character. *shrugs*

                • Stara
                  Stara
                  May 17, 2014 at 10:38 pm | #

                  Maybe you identify with Amber on some level, and subconsciously equated Sal with some bully or other force in your life that you, personally, have wished for redress against?

                • Stara
                  Stara
                  May 17, 2014 at 10:39 pm | #

                  Ruth’s expression makes my comment seem so meanly sarcastic. :p

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          May 17, 2014 at 7:12 pm | #

          Sal just said, a strip or two ago, sdhe had no idea who Amazi-Girl was since she doesn’t pay attention to the news.

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 17, 2014 at 12:38 pm | #

      Sal’s been taking lessons from the Fonz.
      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
      Fonzie:  I’m gonna do something for you, Cunningham, I never did for anyone before.  I’m gonna teach you the secret of being tough.
      Richie:  Wow, you don’t think I could ever…
      Fonzie:  WHO told you to talk?
      Richie:  I’m sorry, Fonz.
      Fonzie:  That’s the secret.
      Richie:  What? ˆI think I missed it.
      Fonzie:  You see how nervous you just got?
      Richie:  Yeah, but I thought you were gonna kill me.
      Fonzie:  Hey, that’s the point – I intimidated you.  That’s because I got a majestic bearing, I got style, I got an attitude, I got a tough voice.
      Richie:  Let’s face it, you’re a good fighter.
      Fonzie:  Hey, I’m the best!  But in the entire time you’ve known me, have you ever seen me in a fight?
      Richie:  Well no, but that’s just because the other guy backs down first.
      Fonzie:  I rest my case.

  52. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    May 17, 2014 at 4:00 am | #

    4th Panel – “Let’s dive”

    I’m hoping that means muff-dive, but I suspect not :((

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 17, 2014 at 12:39 pm | #

      Might be “dive” as in a submarine — literally, sink out of sight.

      OK, I’m clutching at straws here…..

  53. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 17, 2014 at 4:21 am | #

    So… is the alt text sarcastic, implying that Sal is totally wrong? Or is it not?

    • C.
      C.
      May 17, 2014 at 5:02 am | #

      Arguably Amazi-Girl was using the drinking age law to arbitrarily terrorize Sal, so the alt text is sincere.

  54. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    May 17, 2014 at 4:39 am | #

    Amber… You know you’re teetering on the edge when a former juvenile delinquent is proving to be wiser and more level-headed than you. :/

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 17, 2014 at 7:29 am | #

      Former being the important word there. No shame in measuring poorly against Sal, she’s just a normal citizen like you or I.

      How would you like it if people were like it if you failed a course and years after the fact people were saying “You know you’re stupid when a former F-Student’s getting better marks than you” ignoring the fact that your marks have been perfectly respectable for years? Or something similarly relatable to whatever it is you do in your life?

      Everybody’s got a fuck-up or two to their name.

  55. Nono
    Nono
    May 17, 2014 at 5:22 am | #

    I only just noticed it’s a new chapter.

  56. cj95
    cj95
    May 17, 2014 at 7:21 am | #

    wow…really liking Sal less and less as the days go on….

    • Stara
      Stara
      May 17, 2014 at 8:24 am | #

      Why Sal? She did a better turn here than Amber, so it seems an ill-placed comment.

    • Some guy
      Some guy
      May 17, 2014 at 8:28 am | #

      Yeah people that choose peaceful resolutions over violence piss me off too.

      Wait, what?

      • Lel
        Lel
        May 17, 2014 at 8:52 am | #

        I see Ghandi and I just get so mad. Why didn’t he stage a violent uprising and put British heads on spikes? What was that non-violent resistance crap?

        • Stranger
          Stranger
          May 17, 2014 at 10:52 am | #

          Probably because violent revolutions almost never work, and just make things worse?

          • Stara
            Stara
            May 17, 2014 at 11:53 am | #

            The sarcasm is weak in this one.

            (Or the deadpan, too strong)

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      May 17, 2014 at 9:35 am | #

      this concerns me

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 17, 2014 at 10:04 am | #

        Relax, Dave, some people just prefer angry-violent-Sal to levelheaded-Sal. That, or he’s trolling.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          May 17, 2014 at 10:40 am | #

          You’d relax less if you could see his posting history like I can.

          • Philip Petrunak
            Philip Petrunak
            May 17, 2014 at 11:24 am | #

            You mean the whole “Perhaps I am a Texan who may or may not own legally purchased semi automatic firearms…” thing?

            • JustCheetoDust
              JustCheetoDust
              May 17, 2014 at 4:46 pm | #

              You might want to throw in the sense of entitlement and all-around inability to ignore any opinions he doesn’t like.

          • cj95
            cj95
            May 18, 2014 at 5:26 am | #

            Et Tu Willis?

            Ouch again people.

            Jump on me because I happen to disagree with Sal’s rather antagonistic viewpoint towards laws?

            (And yes I know she’s a fictional character….just an unlikable one…arrogant, self pitying, anarchistic….that was the point yes?)

            Beyond that enough with the personal attacks on the readers please.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 17, 2014 at 11:19 am | #

      It’s probably cuz she doesn’t have her Beauti-fro. Noone can dislike a Beautifro.

  57. Kyle
    Kyle
    May 17, 2014 at 9:00 am | #

    A few years back I might have asked myself, “is there any universe in which Sal is the level-headed one?”

    Nice to have an answer to that question.

  58. Corsair114
    Corsair114
    May 17, 2014 at 9:43 am | #

    Awesome.

  59. JJ
    JJ
    May 17, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

    I find it a bit hard to believe Amazi-girl can’t struggle herself free. Of the three girls holding her two are on roller skates. It can’t be hard to make them lose their footing.
    Carla, specifically, seems to be “inviting” Amber to pull her closer, put her right foot behind Carla’s right foot and then throw all her weight on Carla’s upper torso. She would be on the ground in half a second.

    Marcie would be harder to get rid of, but as soon as she has her right arm free a wide array of “attacks” are possible. The Amazi-girl we know wouldn’t have a problem there. And Malaya would be no threat after that.

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 17, 2014 at 12:45 pm | #

      I notice that both Malaya and Carla are paying more attention to Sal than Amazi-Girl (see where their eyes are focused).  If Amazi-Girl really wanted to break free and flee the scene make a brilliant tactical retreat, she’s 90% there already.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        May 17, 2014 at 6:13 pm | #

        She doesn’t have to break free. Sal-tachi are leaving, and presumably don’t intend to take her with them.

        • me
          me
          May 17, 2014 at 11:19 pm | #

          Yeah, c’mon AG! There’s just 3 of em! What’s the hold-up? Use the classic head-knocking together move on the two on your arms, then the backwards head butt to Malaya (would normally be the back kick between the legs, but probably not as effective here) and let’s get this party started. Better to burn out than fade away.

  60. Cybersnark
    Cybersnark
    May 17, 2014 at 10:09 am | #

    Marcie chose the best grabbing angle.

  61. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    May 17, 2014 at 10:10 am | #

    A couple of problems with this plan, Sal
    -AG’s may not give up that easily. Up until now, she’s been trying to goad them into attacking her – this gives her a moral high ground. However, she’s aggressed against Sal before, and if they try to walk away, she may decide to screw the high ground. She has little to lose at this point, anyway.
    -Second, can we be sure the girls will listen to Sal? Marcie, sure, and Carla means no harm, but Malaya still has the bit in her teeth. She may want to continue the fight on her own.

    • John
      John
      May 17, 2014 at 10:45 pm | #

      Now I kind of want to see Sal and the rest of her posse take off, and Amazi-Girl hobbling after them in pursuit, dragging Malaya, who’s latched onto her ankle determinedly trying to chew through an Amazi-Boot.

  62. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 17, 2014 at 11:19 am | #

    Desire to draw a NSFW drawing based on this comic is VERY tempting.

    • Riku
      Riku
      May 17, 2014 at 1:59 pm | #

      Do it you won’t

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        May 17, 2014 at 6:15 pm | #

        Hush, Yoda, don’t discourage him.

      • Bill
        Bill
        May 17, 2014 at 9:56 pm | #

        MYOB, Riku.

  63. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 17, 2014 at 12:44 pm | #

    Is it weird of me I keep thinking that this is going to end up with Sal convinced Amazi-Girl is a white supremicist? Not because Sal isn’t wrong about racial matters but the fact they’re talking about two different things. Sal is talking about being targeted by the cover of her skin and Amber just said she doesn’t care about that (unaware of it). I doubt Willis will go that way but it is an interesting thought.

    Mostly because Amazi-Girl isn’t LISTENING to Sal.

  64. newllend
    newllend
    May 17, 2014 at 3:30 pm | #

    FIGHT YOUR RIVAL! Wait second thought never mind.

  65. Tenn
    Tenn
    May 17, 2014 at 4:21 pm | #

    Even with the whole situation seemingly about to defuse, this is legit scary. I’m getting afraid to check updates.

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      May 17, 2014 at 4:22 pm | #

      Dammit, Ethan, I’m serious! Stop smiling!

  66. Bloop Bloop Bloop
    Bloop Bloop Bloop
    May 17, 2014 at 5:37 pm | #

    Amazi-girl’s got the Shit-eating grin down pat and then some.

  67. Kyle Voltti
    Kyle Voltti
    May 17, 2014 at 11:21 pm | #

    I kind of get the feeling that Amber is going to bring up the hypocrisy of not liking people using laws to terrorize people vs holding a knife to some kids throat. though I wonder what Joyce would do if she found out here hero Sal held a knife to Ethan’s throat

  68. JA
    JA
    May 19, 2014 at 2:00 pm | #

    Damn Sal is far deeper than she lets on.

  69. JacHunter
    JacHunter
    May 21, 2014 at 5:01 pm | #

    Oh my god…Sal is the female Mike.

  70. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 15, 2015 at 5:30 am | #

    Sweet pranks. so, like pies ?

  71. kay
    kay
    August 3, 2015 at 11:10 pm | #

    I was hoping they meant get “skates” – but. This works.

  72. BrokenEye, True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, True False Prophet
    September 26, 2015 at 1:14 am | #

    Also, vigilantism is technically against the law

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