Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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cheez it, it's the fuzz!!!
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September 20, 2023

My share

by David M Willis on May 14, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance

└ Tags: amazi-girl, carla, malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (525) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Tobias
    Tobias
    May 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Amber noooooo

    • sps48
      sps48
      May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Amber, it’s 4 against 1!

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Her sidekick Faz will help!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

          You meant Amazi-Creep right?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

            The Amazing Faz. Don’t try to shorten his name.

          • Jay Eff
            Jay Eff
            May 14, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

            AMAZI-GIRL: “Stop! Or I, the Great Amazi-Creep, shall be forced to manhandle you fine ladies one by one!”

            [They all gang up on him]

            AMAZI-GIRL: “Four at a time?? That’s too great a challenge even for the Great Amazi-Creep! Amazi-Girl, though this may not be your… thing… I could still use your assistance in this matter!”

            AMAZI-GIRL: (Groans) “Yeah, yeah, I gotcha…”

            AMAZI-CREEP: “And be sure to bring copious amounts of Amazi-Lube!!”

            AMAZI-GIRL: “On second thought, you’re on your own.”

            • Jay Eff
              Jay Eff
              May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

              Oops! I shortened The Great Amazi-Faz’s name.
              Sorry, Yotomoe!

              • Shadow12000
                Shadow12000
                May 14, 2014 at 12:02 pm | #

                You also said it was Amazi-girl saying the first line, making it even creepier.

      • NinjaNick
        NinjaNick
        May 14, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

        Amazi-Girl can handle this herself.

      • Cody B
        Cody B
        May 14, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

        She likes those odds. :]

        • Jerden
          Jerden
          May 14, 2014 at 4:52 am | #

          Those odds seem a bit unfair to me.
          FOR THE FOUR OF THEM.
          Actually, Sal might make a good archnemisis.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 14, 2014 at 9:17 am | #

        Of course it is! Every successful super-hero eventually has her most notorious enemies team up to defeat her. It’s a trope! This is Amazi-Girl’s Legion of Doom, or Sinister Six!

        Heck, they all deserve good villain names, so…
        Sal’s the Black Bandit.
        Marcie’s the Mute Menace.
        Malaya’s totally SkHater Girl. (The ‘H’ is silent, like the silent depths of her HATE.)
        And Carla – Spider-Carla.

        Together, they form – The Legion of Drunk Idiots!

        • John
          John
          May 14, 2014 at 11:19 pm | #

          If there’s one thing Malaya’s hate isn’t, it’s silent.

      • RevenantBacon
        RevenantBacon
        May 14, 2014 at 11:26 pm | #

        4 against 1? I almost feel bad for them!

    • Hinoron
      Hinoron
      May 14, 2014 at 8:13 am | #

      AG: “I am NOT the Fuzz! I do my lady-maintenance! Geez!”

  2. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    May 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Welp, Shit’s ’bout ta go down.

    • Psycho
      Psycho
      May 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Yeah, Amber’s pulling a huge bongo move. Then again, her whole superhero motivation is exactly what people portray Batman as having in parody. Rather than actually wanting to do good, she’s just looking for an excuse to punch people.

      Honestly, she’s more like the Punisher than Batman.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        It’s not just in parody. While he does mean well Batman’s primary motivation for being Batman is as an outlet for his psychological issues. He’s physically and mentally incapable of stopping.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          We’ve tried breaking all his bones. They just come back stronger.

          • Derkins
            Derkins
            May 14, 2014 at 6:30 pm | #

            Batman just chooses to target people who have done more than just underage drinking. Tho they do have a past, Sal was obviously arrested for her previous crime. I relate to sal in this position, and think Amber needs to spend some time in therapy, hasta pronto. Batman was at least able to function in society without losing his grip on reality.

            • Batman
              Batman
              May 14, 2014 at 11:18 pm | #

              I think we’re all agreed that poor Amber needs therapy and a restraining order on her dad. What she’s doing now is only going to make things worse, for her and everyone else involved.

              Batman’s grip on reality and his ability to function in society, well, that can be debated. His sanity really depends on the writer; but the idea of someone taking the law into his own hands kinda implies they aren’t functioning properly in society.

        • Psycho
          Psycho
          May 14, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          Honestly, Batman’s motivation varies from adaptation and period in his life. In his younger days, he was usually portrayed a violent and vengeful, but later on I’ve noticed him as being much more taciturn and focused on saving lives and doing right by people who deserved it.

          • Batman
            Batman
            May 14, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

            My base motivation has always been revenge and control. I was a messed up little brat to start with, with my uber-rich parents wrapped around my little finger; when a mugger killed them and broke my illusion of control, it became an obsession with me. I HAVE to be in control at all times, at all costs. Saving lives is just an expression of that – to the point where I save the life of the Joker multiple times, long after any sane person would have let him die.

            “Fighting crime” isn’t done by beating up muggers and terrorizing goons. Wanna fight crime? Join the police and do it the right way. I’m just here to work out my childhood trauma by punching homeless people. There’s nothing healthy about what I do.

            • LittleMountain
              LittleMountain
              May 14, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

              Thanks for uh…putting it all in perspective, Batman?

            • Cody B
              Cody B
              May 14, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

              Shutup batman. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the hero we deserve.

              • Batman
                Batman
                May 14, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

                That says a lot about you.

                • Ancestral Hamster
                  Ancestral Hamster
                  May 14, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

                  It says a lot about contemporary U.S. society.

            • Deathjavu
              Deathjavu
              May 14, 2014 at 3:45 am | #

              As SMBC stated so well: Batman doesn’t spend his money very wisely if his goal is to stop crime.

              http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2890

              • Viktoria
                Viktoria
                May 14, 2014 at 8:00 am | #

                Bruce Wayne is a massive philanthropist whose company employs mostly ex-convicts who need jobs. He’s got Gates-level money, he can afford both charity AND a ridiculous hobby.

                • WaytoomanyUIDs
                  WaytoomanyUIDs
                  May 15, 2014 at 3:42 pm | #

                  So, he takes advantage of the fact that they are ex-cons and no-one else will emply them and exploits and underpays them. Wouldn’t surprise me if his companies also run the prisons in Gotham and Arkham Asylum.

            • Drmercurious
              Drmercurious
              May 14, 2014 at 8:08 am | #

              That’s a nice sentiment OH WAIT the police don’t stop crime. Since when have they put a banksta in jail? All the police do is stop criminals too poor or stupid to have decent lawyers. And yeah, I consider underage drinking ESPECIALLY SINCE IT LOOKS LIEK DRIVING WAS GOING TO BE INVOLVED — a big deal.

              • Dragon_Nataku
                Dragon_Nataku
                May 14, 2014 at 2:20 pm | #

                I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not but they only had a six pack and at this point, Carla is taking half of it with her so they would only have one beer per person left. How many people do you know who are too sloshed to drive after one beer?

                • Seerow
                  Seerow
                  May 14, 2014 at 4:48 pm | #

                  While one beer probably doesn’t affect the average person enough, my group of friends has always had the rule that after the first beer you give up your keys for the night. We go very much by the “better safe than sorry” philosophy.

                • gwalla
                  gwalla
                  May 14, 2014 at 9:25 pm | #

                  Especially since Sal likely has the Walkerton capacity for alcohol (none).

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              May 14, 2014 at 2:19 pm | #

              “Always” been revenge and control? Holy amnesia, Batman! You’ve forgotten that there was a period that you fought for justice and American bat-values. Justice and Bat-American values. America and Bat-judiciary values. Whichever.

              • Batman
                Batman
                May 14, 2014 at 10:53 pm | #

                Yeah, and there was a time when I used guns and fought thinly-disguised racial caricatures on top of buildings shaped like giant household appliances. Most people do me the courtesy of forgetting my early indiscretions, though.

                “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” is the other big guy in tights.

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          May 14, 2014 at 9:07 am | #

          but… he’s Batman. Batman takes no crap from no one.

    • Caffienated
      Caffienated
      May 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Popcorn?

  3. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    May 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    “Underaged drinking” is a verb now!

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Is it not an adjective?

      • That Damn Rat
        That Damn Rat
        May 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        Drinking is a verb, always has been. In this case Underaged is acting as an adverb.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          Cuz it Adds to the Verb!

          • KingMabel
            KingMabel
            May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

            OK real talk: in what grade did you learn about adverbs?

            not just you, yoto. OPEN QUESTION

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              May 14, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

              That was more than 40 years ago and I was hit with a truck since then, but I think elementary school. That means after 3rd but definitely by 6th, somewhere between Washington state and North Africa (military brat in the ’60s, we got moved around, a LOT)

              And I leaving this with the Mike Gravatar on purpose because I had a childhood that couldn’t have been made any worse if I had been abducted by aliens as depicted in the Walkyverse. 2 out of 3 of my childhood friends were dead by the time I graduated college.

            • Avery
              Avery
              May 14, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

              English class in 7th, and then in all of my foreign language classes through out the rest of schooling.

            • Philip Marlowe
              Philip Marlowe
              May 14, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

              Elementary to middle.

            • StClair
              StClair
              May 14, 2014 at 2:44 am | #

              “Lolly Lolly Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here” was first aired in 1974, so it must have been shortly after that. So, probably about the same time I started school and learned to read.

            • gangler
              gangler
              May 14, 2014 at 6:46 am | #

              Early enough that I’d forgotten by the time it was important.

            • Historyman68
              Historyman68
              May 14, 2014 at 7:42 am | #

              Well, I was playing Mad Libs from a pretty young age. My favorite adverb was always “like a pickle”. As in, “he ran like a pickle.”

            • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              May 14, 2014 at 9:09 am | #

              I… have no idea actually. I just sorta understood the concepts of grammar semi-intuitively, so I don’t really remember any of my grammar lessons.

            • IAmDeltaS
              IAmDeltaS
              May 14, 2014 at 12:40 pm | #

              Sometime in elementary school. I want to say third grade?

            • davidbreslin101
              davidbreslin101
              May 14, 2014 at 1:09 pm | #

              Honest answer? Several years AFTER I left school. (They didn’t believe in teaching us, like, things.)

            • Dragon_Nataku
              Dragon_Nataku
              May 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm | #

              I still don’t know what adverbs are and I’m fluent in two languages and working on a third. Don’t know what object, predicate, whatever whatever are either.

              • Pat
                Pat
                May 15, 2014 at 2:31 am | #

                I’m sure you do, you just don’t know the names for them.

                Everyone picks up grammar pretty intuitively as we’re learning language, but for some reason students (and sometimes teachers) seem to think it’s something entirely new they don’t already know.

        • Adnaxium
          Adnaxium
          May 14, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

          Drink is a verb. Drinking in this case is a participle, which is an adjective, modified by the adverb “underaged”.

        • TJ Baltimore
          TJ Baltimore
          May 14, 2014 at 4:49 am | #

          “Drinking” (or any verb+ing) can also be a gerund, in which case it acts as a noun. Such would be the case if Amazi-Girl said “your underage drinking,” but as it is, it is a verb.

  4. Mr K
    Mr K
    May 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Is is wrong that I want them all to make out?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      If you’re wrong, then you don’t want to be right. 😀

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        May 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        I think your words are… never mind …

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          If he’s wrong, I don’t want him to be right.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

            Yeah, one of those.

            • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              May 14, 2014 at 9:10 am | #

              Plasma, my iPhone screen can’t properly display the color you use for your background, so it looks all glowy and awesome.

              Just wanted to say. I thought it was interesting.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                May 14, 2014 at 5:22 pm | #

                Danke! ^_^ While the background colour of my gravs doesn’t have an official name, I named it “Radioactive Absinthe Green”.

                • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
                  Gadgeteer Smashwidget
                  May 14, 2014 at 8:13 pm | #

                  Shoulda made a Bastion reference by naming it “Calamity Stabsinthe Green”.

  5. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    May 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    She cracks down on college kids drinking underage? This really is a futile quest.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      May 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      No, no, she’s just going after Sal because she feels it’s her last chance to confront her past since Dorothy knows her secret identity, and the fact that Sal just HAPPENS to be drinking means she can disguise it as actual vigilantism rather than just violent revenge.

      Remember the party? She only beat down on a few scumbags and ignored pretty much everyone else, even though 90% of them were probably drinking illegally.

      • Jerden
        Jerden
        May 14, 2014 at 4:55 am | #

        Vigilantism, violent revenge… What’s really the difference?
        Really, isn’t violent vigilantism just a way to get revenge on society?

        • fogel
          fogel
          May 14, 2014 at 9:26 am | #

          I’ve learned never to think that I know where Willis is going, but it looks like Amber’s grip on reality is increasingly intermittent and that currently she’s having a psychotic breakdown. Blaine was a real threat in the present, besides having tormented her all of her life. Sal is someone completely different. Not to mention that when Amber stabbed Sal, she was at least as messed up as Sal was: a pair of messed-up kids acting out dangerously. Sal SEEMS to be WAY more together than Amber, who seems to be crossing over into a psychotic stalker.

          • Dragon_Nataku
            Dragon_Nataku
            May 14, 2014 at 2:29 pm | #

            “psychotic breakdown” implies that she’s broken from reality. The fact that she watched Sal leave the dorm, put on her stupid costume, and then hunted her down implies premeditation, not psychosis, unless you mean psychopathic which is not the same thing as psychotic.

            TL;DR: She has no excuse for what she is doing.

            • fogel
              fogel
              May 14, 2014 at 3:25 pm | #

              I may have the situation AND the term wrong; I defer to you on this. I was thinking that she’s seeing SAL as if it’s still/again that night when they were 13/14, even if she’s otherwise in touch with relatively superficial reality. I’m really unsure if she thinks she’s Amber Blaine disguised or just dressed as Amazigirl OR identifies as Amazigirl, who is this “Amber”…

              • mistrali
                mistrali
                May 14, 2014 at 9:33 pm | #

                From her behaviour in previous comic strips, I’d say she thinks she’s AG, at least temporarily. Whether attacking Sal (and seeing the others) will flip something in her and she’ll return to normal, or whether she’ll simply continue wanting to beat Sal half to death, only Willis knows.

      • Dude
        Dude
        May 14, 2014 at 11:55 am | #

        You know, because stabbing Sal in the hand wasn’t revenge enough.

  6. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    May 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Four on one? Come on, make it a CHALLENGE!

    • That Damn Rat
      That Damn Rat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      Oh come on, Sal is going to wipe the floor with Amber on her own, further increasing her downward spiral.

      • Shogouki
        Shogouki
        May 14, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

        I don’t know, her getaway from Dorothy and Walky featured some impressive physical capabilities.

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          May 14, 2014 at 1:55 am | #

          Physical feats of acrobatics, yes! Ass whooping? None implied.

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            May 14, 2014 at 2:52 am | #

            The party, on the other hand, showed how she could handle multiple opponents.

          • ChaosEngine
            ChaosEngine
            May 14, 2014 at 9:21 am | #

            Plus, she beat the tar outta a fully grown man with a history of abuse problems. I think we’ve established that AG is mean mumba jumba.

            And to be fair, I don’t see Malaya getting involved, so it’s really more like 3 on 1.

            Still, for plot based reasons, I cannot see how this can possibly end well for Amber, unless Danny has the stones to show up and stop things before they get outta hand.

            • fogel
              fogel
              May 14, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

              I’d put my money on Carla, not Danny, in this. I doubt it’s just a coincidence that she shows up here and now. Odds are she’s playing the part of “Chekov’s gun”, not just a sophomore with a 1st class fake I’d.

            • John
              John
              May 14, 2014 at 3:20 pm | #

              Malaya’s feisty. Even if she doesn’t get along so well with the rest of the crew, I think she’d jump into the fight just so she had an excuse to hit someone.

      • mistrali
        mistrali
        May 14, 2014 at 9:42 pm | #

        I actually think Sal might not have the experience to take AG down solo. Amber has fought so many people that she likely knows exactly how to do things like throwing them. Do we know if Sal has any martial arts training?

        4 against 1, on the other hand… I fear for Amber. Someone is going to get beaten up badly.

  7. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    May 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    And my trust sidekick, The Moon!

    • sumolegend
      sumolegend
      May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      In the name of the moon…

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        I AM CAPTAIN LUNAR!

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Actually, her sidekick is the wolf, Moon Moon.
        Tomorrow, we’ll be hearing a lot of “Dammit, Moon Moon!”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      And then it crashes down wearing an Amazi-girl Mask Majora’s Mask style.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      That’s no moon.

      • Corsair114
        Corsair114
        May 14, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

        It’s not a moon? You sure? I’ve got my axe and everything.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          May 14, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

          That’s Jupiter…turned into the Getter Ray Sun.

          • Evil Midnight Lurker
            Evil Midnight Lurker
            May 14, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

            It’s HIMP Dahak.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        May 14, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

        That’s the Amazi-Rack.

        What, behind her? Oh, yeah, that’s the moon.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 14, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      Stop looking at me!

      Stupid moon…

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      May 14, 2014 at 1:55 am | #

      NIGHTMAN

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      May 14, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

      There is a lot, an old parking lot
      beside a big box store
      Where the underage drink a beer so brown
      That the Man in the Moon himself came down
      to even up the score.

    • Cybersnark
      Cybersnark
      May 14, 2014 at 11:06 am | #

      Strax was right! It is not to be trusted.

  8. Henry
    Henry
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    On a scale from one to ten, sh!t is about to get real.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 14, 2014 at 4:58 am | #

      On a scale of one to ten, it’s not good.

  9. THEBOONDOCKS
    THEBOONDOCKS
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    I hope Sal wins this fight

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      May 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Sal wins but ends up killing Amazi Girl. To avoid punishment she runs away to South America and joins the Farc.

      • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        May 14, 2014 at 9:12 am | #

        if I were her, I would join the French Foreign Legion, but I guess she doesn’t take to authority all that well.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      I hope somebody stops it before anyone gets hurt…

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 14, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        I hope somebody stops it after everything gets hurt.

        • J-Debs
          J-Debs
          May 14, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

          I don’t get why Amber is after Sal… I get why she’d be upset seeing her and suspect her of stuff maybe even spy on her or something but just attacking her? Again? Didn’t you already get revenge Amber?

          • J-Debs
            J-Debs
            May 14, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

            That shouldn’t have been a reply

          • Philip Marlowe
            Philip Marlowe
            May 14, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

            The way Amber sees it, Sal humiliated her indirectly in the holdup, because Amber was powerless and consequently got ridiculed by her asshole father (again, probably). Not only that, but Sal threatened to harm her best friend. Amber also probably has a bit of a Javert streak going and doesn’t think Sal has changed. So she looks at Sal and sees this violent chick who threatened to kill her best friend and indirectly caused her more humiliation by her father’s hand. And she’s walking free.

            You also have to remember that Amber does not appear to be mentally stable. She’s thinking purely in a twisted logic, without empathy or consideration for what Sal might have gone through.

            • StClair
              StClair
              May 14, 2014 at 2:45 am | #

              Insane Bat-Logic.

            • Jerden
              Jerden
              May 14, 2014 at 4:59 am | #

              Empathy only shackles JUSTICE.

            • Felgraf
              Felgraf
              May 14, 2014 at 7:03 am | #

              Is it me, or are Amber’s motivations for wanting to hurt Sal,

              Uh

              Very, very Blaine like?

              • Felgraf
                Felgraf
                May 14, 2014 at 7:23 am | #

                Also I’m not sure why this reply was put *here*, whoops.

              • Beige
                Beige
                May 14, 2014 at 7:54 am | #

                yes. yes they were

                thats what makes it so tragic

              • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
                Gadgeteer Smashwidget
                May 14, 2014 at 9:17 am | #

                Children who are physically and emotionally abused at a young age tend to become aggressive and develop anxiety and depression. I feel really sorry for Amber, but she should really be getting help. I don’t care how cliche that sounds, it’s true.

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  May 14, 2014 at 12:31 pm | #

                  ^ This. Amber’s vigilante personality is a direct reflection of Blaine. That’s part of the reason Blaine claimed he was jumped by a “big guy” instead of a girl in a cape – it’s a warped sense of “power over” that is incredibly fragile when directly threatened. Amber has the same issue, which is why she’s totally spiraling now that her “power over” (her Amazi-Girl persona) has been threatened.

            • J-Debs
              J-Debs
              May 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

              I get that but again, she already got revenge. Knife through the hand?

              • Philip Marlowe
                Philip Marlowe
                May 14, 2014 at 10:58 pm | #

                Again, two things:

                1. Mental instability.

                2. Javert Syndrome. She may see Sal today as exactly the same as Sal that fateful day, and unchangeable, only stoppable.

  10. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    AmaziAmber is about to join BrokenBlaine in der Krankenhausen, Jah?

  11. Sageress
    Sageress
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Time for the “Amber Makes Unsympathetic Decisions! Power Hour!”

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      May 14, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

      Followed by “Joyce Wrassles with Her Religion The Musical!”. Starring Hugo Weaving as Joyce, Danny DeVito as Dorothy, and the impeccable Donald Glover as Walky. Written by the ghost of Rod Serling.

      • Jack Finch
        Jack Finch
        May 15, 2014 at 9:08 pm | #

        So help me I am going to build a portal to the alternate universe where that is real.

  12. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Holy shit!

  13. Swerve
    Swerve
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Tonight, Amber/Amazigirl’s lines will be scripted by Frank Miller!

    Quick question about Carla. Does Carla have the same fondness for “Short Circuit” as Ultra Car? Does Carla like “Police Academy”?

    • LiaHansen
      LiaHansen
      May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Or Frankenstein?

      • Swerve
        Swerve
        May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        Did Ultra Car actually like “Frankenstein”? I thought she only liked the “Short Circuit 2” references to “Frankenstein” and “Pinocchio”, not the actual books.

        • LiaHansen
          LiaHansen
          May 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          No see, cuz Frankenstein is the fleshy version of Short Circuit. Although now that I think about it, I guess Carla’s “short circuit” is actually Ultra Car.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            May 14, 2014 at 11:45 am | #

            Carla’s not an artificial being in this continuity so Frankenstein wouldn’t really be especially relatable to her.

            • Swerve
              Swerve
              May 14, 2014 at 12:05 pm | #

              Technically, Frankenstein was the creator of the artificial being; the creature has no name in Mary Shelly’s novel. And Johnny Five bought the novel, not the Universal or Hammer movies.

              But anyway, would she like “Pinocchio”, since she got her wish to be a “real girl”?

              • Gigafreak
                Gigafreak
                May 14, 2014 at 12:23 pm | #

                Well, I remember reading somewhere that in the novel, the creature actually identifies itself as Dr. Frankenstein’s son (in proper grammar, because he wasn’t a mindless brute in the novel). I haven’t read the novel myself, but if this is true, that means the creature would also take on the surname of Frankenstein by default.

                It’s probably still more proper to keep calling him Frankenstein’s Monster for clarity. But the people who call him Frankenstein are not wrong.

    • sps48
      sps48
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “I’m the goddamn Amazi-Girl!”

      Then has sex with Sal.

    • Ancestral Hamster
      Ancestral Hamster
      May 14, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      Re: Tonight, Amber/Amazigirl’s lines will be scripted by Frank Miller!

      That’s easy. “Whores whores whores whores …”

  14. licoricepencil
    licoricepencil
    May 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    …is it too late for amazi-therapist to swoop in?

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Sorry, Walky has him booked for the night

    • JessTheBest
      JessTheBest
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      I know right? I really want Amber to go to the hospital or something and actually deal with the fact that she might have PTSD or something along those lines and get help. Too bad a week in the behavioral unit equates to about 150 strips :/

      • Raptorman
        Raptorman
        May 14, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        Problem is that if that happens she also goes to jail for beating the thing she called her father nearly to death. The law is weird about stuff like attempted murder.
        I just hope she doesn’t get too badly beat up by Sal and maybe an intervention of some sort. Joyce would suggest divine intervention through prayer, but I think Danny or Walky might show up.

        • Belegcam
          Belegcam
          May 14, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

          I’m pretty sure the only interaction Joyce and Walky had with Amber was when they ran into each other at Galasso’s and Amber yelled at Ethan. They are not terribly likely to participate in an intervention for someone they barely know.

          Amber and Ethan would be well served by a honest conversation discussing both their issues, but outside of him and maybe Dina and Danny, nobody else really knows her well enough to help.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            May 14, 2014 at 1:46 am | #

            Amber also came very close to assaulting Joyce in the cafeteria. Grabbed her arm and was yelling at her before Sarah intervened.

            • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              May 14, 2014 at 9:19 am | #

              …Jesus.

              I used to feel sympathy for Amber, but seeing all the violent things she’s done listed like this… I really can’t think anything good about her.

              • timemonkey
                timemonkey
                May 14, 2014 at 11:48 am | #

                She also followed the jocks who were picking on Danny to Ron’s party and attacked them in the middle of the party. You can see it in the background though it’s easily missed on account of the attempted rape.

                • John
                  John
                  May 14, 2014 at 3:31 pm | #

                  It’s not 100% clear what’s going down there from the bits and pieces we see in the background, but I don’t think Amber started that fight. It looks like one of the jocks hit some random background guy for no obvious reason (he’s just kind of standing around in an unprovoking fashion in the previous strip when they show up), and in the next strip Amazi-Girl intervened and took out the trash.

                  It does seem likely that she was stalking them looking for an excuse to beat them up again, but they did give her a pretty good one.

                  And no “almost” about it… IANAL and I’m not real familiar with the specifics of Indiana law, but I’m pretty sure that by the legal definition, Amber did assault Joyce. The threshold for assault is not nearly as high as most people think.

        • fogel
          fogel
          May 14, 2014 at 9:42 am | #

          Legally wasn’t attempted murder. Besides, a story in which Amazigirl assaulting Blaine gets into the legal system would be a drag–hundreds of media clowns choking the place for months trying to interview everyone who was ever within a block of Amber.

  15. .dissent
    .dissent
    May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Indiana only sells until 3am. Realism tarnished.

    • Avery
      Avery
      May 14, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

      They’ve been bickering for a while.

    • Kinoko
      Kinoko
      May 14, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

      Carla could possibly have bought it earlier and been busy with something else for an hour.

    • Random832
      Random832
      May 14, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

      I thought that was just bars. But, then, I’ve never actually tried to buy alcohol late at night.

      When do 24-hour places (this is a 24-hour walmart) start selling again?

  16. Claire
    Claire
    May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Walmart parking lots, the place to be.

  17. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    “How dare you damage your body with booze, for this heinous crime, I will beat you until you’re black and blue!”

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Like the police purposefully hitting you with their car because you were texting while driving on an empty road.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Something like that.

      • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        May 14, 2014 at 9:20 am | #

        is that a thing that has happened?

      • gwalla
        gwalla
        May 14, 2014 at 9:35 pm | #

        How can they hit you with a car if the road is empty?

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      ILL damage your body if that’s what you want….that sounded differently in my head,eh screw it.

  18. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Whoa, did someone hit the fast forward button to the climax?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 14, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

      Damnit. Who has the remote?

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        May 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

        It just feels so sudden, not that I’m complainin’.

  19. Salmo
    Salmo
    May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Okay, turns out it was skates after all.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      May 14, 2014 at 11:11 am | #

      for carla’s height? could be she was already taller than the rest of the girls while standing, and is now putting ON skates.

  20. newllend
    newllend
    May 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Relaxing huh? Nope FUCK that.

  21. Vile Gamer
    Vile Gamer
    May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    So is Marcie a mute?

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      She actually isn’t. She just thinks that everyone is too stupid to bother talking to.

      • newllend
        newllend
        May 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Guess she’s going to talk less and less in Dumbing of age isn’t she?

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Yes. Yes she is.

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        May 14, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        I wonder where Sal learned sign language to understand her… I’d very much like to know the story of their friendship.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          May 14, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

          FACT: Deafness is NOT really hereditary–you won’t really find entire families of people born deaf, but rather one or two for whom the rest of the family must learn ASL [or similar such for their native language]. Like any language, whoever is willing to learn it can easily pick it up from books and from actual deaf/mute people.

          [to echo prior comments: Sal *talks* to Marcie, which establishes Marcie is mute but not deaf]

          • Jerden
            Jerden
            May 14, 2014 at 5:06 am | #

            You seem to be missing the point. We’re wondering where and when and why Sal chose to put time and effort into learning sign language, instead of, say, riding a motorbike or whatever else she does.
            I’m guessing it was probably due to her friendship with Marcie, but that’s probably an interesting story.

            • Corsair114
              Corsair114
              May 14, 2014 at 10:30 am | #

              Learning to use a skill yourself is often integral to fully understanding a skill, and when it comes to communication, understanding is paramount.

            • -Sentinel-
              -Sentinel-
              May 14, 2014 at 10:39 am | #

              That was my point indeed, Jerden. To go through the trouble of learning a language just to communicate with a single person, you must be close to that person in the first place. It’s understandable if the mute or deaf-mute person is a member of your family, but it must be hard to be friends with a person who can’t communicate with you (at first). Now I’m curious: did Marcie and Sal become friends before Sal ever learned to understand ASL? Or did Marcie become mute later in life?

              • Jen Aside
                Jen Aside
                May 14, 2014 at 8:18 pm | #

                If they were in “prison” [Tennessee] together, that could easily be enough, because hell if there’s anything ELSE to do there. “Lahk prison” is an apt description =p [and considering they’re working on criminalizing miscarriages, even more so]

              • Annie
                Annie
                May 14, 2014 at 11:01 pm | #

                It’s really not that hard. I’d expect Marcie did a lot of writing notes at the beginning of their friendship. That’s pretty much how I learned ASL.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      May 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Marcie has been previously established in Dumbing of Age to be deaf. She uses American Sign Language to communicate, often with Sal translating for those who don’t speak ASL. She can also lip read, I believe.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        Marcie is not deaf.

        • Swerve
          Swerve
          May 14, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

          Okay. In regards to Marcie using ASL, is she mute?

          • David M Willis
            David M Willis
            May 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

            Yes.

            • LeslieBean4Shizzle
              LeslieBean4Shizzle
              May 14, 2014 at 11:39 am | #

              Oh. I stand corrected.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        She’s never been shown to be deaf.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 14, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

        Mute doesn’t automatically equal deaf.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 14, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

      No, she’s just moot. Doesn’t really matter.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        May 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm | #

        You’re a horrible person and I want to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      May 14, 2014 at 1:50 am | #

      “I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they’d have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. They’d get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I’d be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. Everybody’d think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they’d leave me alone . . . I’d cook all my own food, and later on, if I wanted to get married or something, I’d meet this beautiful girl that was also a deaf-mute and we’d get married. She’d come and live in my cabin with me, and if she wanted to say anything to me, she’d have to write it on a piece of paper, like everybody else”

      • espanolbot
        espanolbot
        May 14, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

        And then Section 9 show up.

  22. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Caught by the fuzz
    Well I was, still on a buzz

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 14, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      They were drinking the kind of beer that goes well with fuzzy cheez.

      • anonymous
        anonymous
        May 14, 2014 at 2:39 am | #

        So they got fuzz buzzed?

  23. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Well, This Is Happening.
    This is going to continue to happen.

    • Bilfred
      Bilfred
      May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      lawdy lawd.

  24. Tom Speelman
    Tom Speelman
    May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    OH SHIT.

  25. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    May 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Everyone knows the punishment for underage drinking is a brutal asskicking by a college student in a costume!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      American drinking laws are sure strange. 😛

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        May 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        You also are not allowed to drink until you are 21, UNLESS you were born at midnight on Halloween and have a wart on the bottom of your left foot.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 14, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

          This is why you should never write new lawa while high on a cocktail of absinthe and mescaline.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        May 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        We have our reasons… backed by reasoning…

        If our age limit was 18 then High school kids could easily buy it for their younger high school friends.

        Some weird logic about maturity and understanding of one’s body and mind by about 21.

        Honestly I don’t care for drinking. I drink to taste and alcohol tastes bad to me and I don’t like to spend the money.

        Also I’m a lightweight. One pint of hard lemonade and I can’t stand straight.

        • Random832
          Random832
          May 14, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

          “If our age limit was 18 then High school kids could easily buy it for their younger high school friends.” – so make it 19 then. College kids could still buy it for their 18-year-old college friends, but those aren’t the people you’re worried about. You could even make it “19 or has a high school diploma”.

          • anonymous
            anonymous
            May 14, 2014 at 2:50 am | #

            Well, there are benefits to the drinking law. One dangerous thing about drinking is drinking and driving. As you can drive from yea 16 up, there’s nothing preventing drunk driving from going on in 18-, 19-, and 20-year olds. Meanwhile your brain is not fully developed until around age 21, meaning your decisions will be even stupider than if you were drunk and older. Really, teenagers are probably not the best people to be driving in the first place, but we all have to learn somewhere. And it’s easier to start learning it at 15 or 16 than your early 20’s. But teenage drunk driving is not a good option, so making alcohol illegal until 21 is not a bad plan.
            Plus, there’s plenty of other stupid things you can do with alcohol that could harm you or kill you. So that might be a factor as well.

            • Deathjavu
              Deathjavu
              May 14, 2014 at 3:51 am | #

              Actually, if it was by brain development, it would be different for men and women, and it would be more like 23-24, although it can vary a bit by person. It also depends on what you’re setting as the goal line for “fully developed”.

              American attitudes towards drinking seem to be much less healthy than those of other countries. Whether the drinking age limit is a factor in that is up for debate.

              • anonymous
                anonymous
                May 14, 2014 at 2:02 pm | #

                Probably more the feeling of invincibility from being in the “land of opportunities.”

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              May 14, 2014 at 3:42 pm | #

              So, with the drinking age at 21, you end up in a situation where you are legally an adult, and are allowed to marry, and join the military, but cannot drink. Strange law.

              • Jen Aside
                Jen Aside
                May 14, 2014 at 8:20 pm | #

                All those things really don’t have anything to do with each other, which is why the difference.

                And do we REALLY want people binging on ALL of them at once? [Drunk-drive marrying at the recruitment center??]

          • fogel
            fogel
            May 14, 2014 at 9:52 am | #

            Illinois used to be 19 for beer and wine, till the Feds pushed the states to all shift to 21. They needed to be all the same, 19 or 21. When Illinois was 19, kids between their 19th & 21st birthdays drove across state-lines to buy legally but ended up illegal back home, if they didn’t get in a wreck driving home. Hooray for Federalism!

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          May 14, 2014 at 9:23 am | #

          Actually, countries with lower drinking ages tend to have less problems with alcoholism and binge drinking, as people learn to control their drinking from a young age.

          • fogel
            fogel
            May 14, 2014 at 9:56 am | #

            Yep. They learn to drink with adults in their family and have a much better chance to learn that the purpose of drinking isn’t just “let’s get stupid!”

          • Chris
            Chris
            May 14, 2014 at 4:44 pm | #

            Texas law still allows underage drinking “in the visible presence of” a legal-age parent or spouse. So yes, in Texas, parents can buy their kids beer/wine/whatever like in a restaurant.

            (FWIW: Many laws differ significantly from state to state in the US, not just alcohol-related ones.)

            • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              May 14, 2014 at 8:14 pm | #

              That must be why all the binge drinking stories come from up North.

              (I live in Texas.)

            • Chris
              Chris
              May 14, 2014 at 10:35 pm | #

              Correct. Texas is perfect. That’s what the red stands for on the political parties map.

      • Wizard
        Wizard
        May 14, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

        Trust me, that’s not even the strangest alcohol-related law on the books here in Hoosierland. And compared to a few other states, we’re downright sensible.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Oh…I thought it was being locked up in a bathroom, chained to the sink with a dead guy lying in the middle of the room.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 14, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

      But if you can overpower them while drunk you get an automatic drinking liscense. Of course, few have actually succeeded.

    • John
      John
      May 14, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      I was pretty sure the penalty for underaged drinking was having a friend killed by a truck.

  26. toddtr
    toddtr
    May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Amazi-girl vs. Schtickshift the DoA version

    • LiaHansen
      LiaHansen
      May 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      But this time, it’s ORIGINAL Amazigirl, and schtickshift has her loyal band of Alcoholic Amazons at her side!

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 14, 2014 at 1:38 pm | #

        Oooh, Alcoholic Amazons works as a team name! Better than Legion of Drunken Idiots.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

      Wait, which one is Schtickshift?? I already had villain names for each of them…

      • Will
        Will
        May 14, 2014 at 11:14 am | #

        Ultra-Car became Schtickshift, when her old “Spider-Car” disguise just didn’t fit in her new body. She fought the second Amazi-Girl, Lucy.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 14, 2014 at 1:37 pm | #

          Aww, I liked Spider-Carla. But, I suppose SchtickShift works.

  27. Nafanid
    Nafanid
    May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    This is when Clever Girl shows up out of nowhere and helps even up the odds and proves herself worthy of being the trusted sidekick. It is known.

  28. Quatoria
    Quatoria
    May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Jesus, Amber. This is pathological.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 14, 2014 at 5:09 am | #

      THIS IS AMAZI-GIRL!

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 9:38 am | #

      Welcome to Amber’s mind. Amazi-Girl is her only real release valve for her anger, and she figures, after tonight, she won’t have it anymore, so she’s going straight for the focus of her anger.

      Nevermind that it’s not the actual CAUSE of her anger (that’d be her father). Besides, she already beat him up.

      Anger is like fire – it doesn’t just burn its target, it spreads to everything. Even if you extinguish the original source, the rest continues to burn.

  29. ridtom
    ridtom
    May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Caught “underage drinking” is the worst possible excuse for committing bodily harm. This is experience talking.

  30. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    OMG GUYS we are 10 minutes in and like half of you want Amber to get her ass kicked!

    She’s just mentally scared and not thinking straight!

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 14, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      This shit needs to be stopped. If having her emotional outlet crushed and robbed of it’s power hastens that then so be it.

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      May 14, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      I don’t want Amber to get hurt. But she’s gonna get into quite a bit of trouble if she doesn’t back off. And by trouble I mean jail time. And not the fun jail time where you get sent to the brig because you forgot to put the safety on your gun and shoot out a light fixture. I’m talking getting sent to Garrus-9 and having your spark extracted because you spent millenia murdering any twisted experiment of Jhiaxus’ you could hunt down.

      Amber is a vigilante. She’s threatening to assault four women, one of whom is deaf, because they used a fake ID to buy beer. (Speaking of which, I’ve examined this alcohol chemical you humans drink. They’d probably get a higher buzz drinking distilled grain alcohol or wine rather than this beer stuff. Unless they were to take the beer and distill it? Can you do that? I do that to make engex, refining it over and over again, and apparently you can do that to wine, to produce brandy and cognac. Can beer be distilled? Inquiring Autobots want to know!) Amber’s not a cop, she has no superpowers, she’s not even an employee at a toy store who catches shoplifters. And now she’s threatening to beat up Sal, Marcie and Carla. Classy. Still, if she wants to beat up Malaya then Amber isn’t lost. Just like Whirl, no one really likes to hang out with Malaya. 😉

      • Swerve
        Swerve
        May 14, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        I posted this before reading the clarification that Marcie is not deaf. Still, if Marcie’s still mute, and Amber decides to attack her without provocation…

        • mistrali
          mistrali
          May 14, 2014 at 9:46 pm | #

          Wait, what does Marcie’s being mute have to do with her ability to defend herself when there are three other people there? Unless Amber carries her off somewhere she can’t call for help.

      • Steven
        Steven
        May 14, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

        Not to mention that the whole “Beating You Up Because You’re Drinking” excuse is just a thin veneer so that she can physically assault Sal for revenge for an event that happened 7 or so years ago, for an event Sal has already paid for (and then some), and disregarding the last time she went on such a berserk rage, she put a man in a hospital (Whether he deserved it or not, it was still an action that was poorly thought out with other options clearly available at the time, and will definitely come back to haunt her); mind, the man was also much larger than her, and would more likely have had no qualms about bringing lethal force to defend himself, and while she won, she was also lucky that it did not go wrong. Here, the people she are targeting are much smaller in stature, and while 3/4ths of them probably know how to fight (Sal, Marci, Carla), there is still a great risk that she could kill one of them, especially since she doesn’t have anyone here she trusts to stop her this time.
        Amber has severe anger issues, ones that she needed to see a professional therapist about for a long while. Maybe she’s already talked to one (I would imagine it would be after her stabbing Sal’s hand). If so, she needs MORE help.
        Her anger issues can be directly linked to a result of her father’s actions and abuse, but that doesn’t mean that she’s absolved of what she does while angry, especially not here. This, unlike the other two times we’ve seen her gone berserk, was a preemptive, planned action, as seen when she says she needs to carry out this plan tonight.
        Sorry for rambling.
        Oh, and Marci’s not deaf. Willis just confirmed it in a comment on this page.

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          May 14, 2014 at 9:25 am | #

          She most certainly did not go to therapy. Blaine obviously tried to do it himself.

      • gwalla
        gwalla
        May 14, 2014 at 9:42 pm | #

        I guess if you distilled beer you’d technically end up with a kind of whiskey…

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          May 15, 2014 at 9:15 pm | #

          Check out the Alcohol episode on Periodic Table of Videos on Youtube
          They distill beer. It’s kinda cool.

    • Raptorman
      Raptorman
      May 14, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

      I don’t want her to get hurt, but I don’t think Sal is going to be easy prey like the other lowlifes she’s dealt with.
      She has her own issues and I bet some of them are just as deep as Amber’s, and probably not just the crap with Walky and her parents either though that might be the start of it.
      For all that though I doubt that Sal is planning to put Amber in the hospital if it comes to defending herself and her friends. Amber on the other hand…

      I would like to see this get resolved without blood being spilled, but I am sure someone is going to end up on the ground before this is all over. I’m just betting that this time its going to be Amber.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      May 14, 2014 at 2:24 am | #

      You left an “r” off of “scarred”.

      • anonymous
        anonymous
        May 14, 2014 at 2:52 am | #

        She’s scared in her mind. She’s just not showing it! 😛

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 14, 2014 at 5:12 am | #

      Don’t worry, I’m rooting for Amazi-Girl. Come one, what’s cooler, getting psychological help to deal with your insecurities and problems, or unleashing them on society while hiding behind a thinly veiled façade of justice?
      I know which one I’d prefer, if I wasn’t tediously sane.

    • Beige
      Beige
      May 14, 2014 at 8:02 am | #

      she’s also planning unprovoked assault* on several people based off how someone acted several years ago

      so yeah, if she does start something, then yes most of us want her to loose because of the above reason

      * no. underage drinking dosen’t count

    • fogel
      fogel
      May 14, 2014 at 10:10 am | #

      Well, half the commentators seem to be reading this as Batman vs Joker, half to be reading it as a story about college kids, some of whom were abused as kids, etc. And Willis seems to be doing it poised on the edge so you can see what you’re inclined to see.

  31. nothri
    nothri
    May 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    I think its safe to say that this will end well and nothing but good things will come from this meeting.

    Did I mention I was operating on three hours of sleep this week?

  32. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    May 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    That makes this so much easier? Uh… was her original plan to just beat the crap out of Sal for no reason at all?

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      May 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      For historical reasons, I’d say.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        May 14, 2014 at 7:19 am | #

        Remember the Maine!

  33. MightionNY
    MightionNY
    May 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    This could escalate to physical violence!

    Sal seems to be the type to not buckle under to either real or imagined authority, somehow…

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      May 14, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Also she’s already mad at Malaya and the beer thing. She is at like negative 3 fucks to give right now.

    • Raptorman
      Raptorman
      May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      Yeah, I’m thinking that for all AG’s mad ninja skills, she’s about to get her cape handed to her by Sal.

  34. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    May 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Amazi-girl, you do realize that it’s possible to ride on the INSIDE of cars, right? It’s even heroic, Batman does it all the time.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Yeah, but Bats usually lands on top of other people’s car as entrance.

      • Batman
        Batman
        May 14, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

        BECAUSE I’M BATMAN.

        . . . and because I can afford to pay for the damages.

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          May 14, 2014 at 9:28 am | #

          if only Superman had that same coverage.

          http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=328

          (last 5 panels)

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      I’m imagining she didn’t leap onto the back of it or anything, but has instead somehow convinced Danny to drive her, and he’s sitting inside panicking that she’s gonna fall off or maybe it’s too soon after he’s waxed the roof or that she’s gonna jump too early or too late and break something and maybe he could drive slower? Or at least stop the car before she gets off?

      • John
        John
        May 14, 2014 at 4:46 am | #

        Meanwhile, Amazi-Girl is casually standing on the roof playing Mario Kart.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

      You know they’re in a PARKING LOT, don’t you? No indication that car’s moving, or has anything to do with AG other than concealing her until the bust.

      …

      heh heh BUST

  35. newllend
    newllend
    May 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    AND IT BEGINS! This is going to be awful but at least we get a show.

  36. Phil
    Phil
    May 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Whenever Amazi-Girl talks in dark blue, I hear her as Abed as Christian Bale as Batman.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      May 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Not as Annie as Christian Bale as Batman?

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

        I hear her as Amber as Annie as Abed as Christian Bale as Chevy Chase as Batman.

        • Belegcam
          Belegcam
          May 14, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

          I hear her as my own voice, maybe at a slightly lower pitch.

          Your way sounds complicated.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            May 14, 2014 at 5:03 am | #

            I doubt Amber has an accent like a British maths TA

            • nekobawt
              nekobawt
              May 14, 2014 at 11:22 am | #

              yeah, but if she used that for her amazi-girl voice, it’d really throw people off the scent for her secret identity.

  37. Aizat
    Aizat
    May 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    -insert the theme tune from Batman The Animated Series-

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      May 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Personally I prefer the Adam West Batman theme tune
      It contains high quantities of “BAM!” “POW!” and “ZOK!”

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

        Or we could go the AVGN route.

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          May 14, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

          That works too! 😀

      • Raptorman
        Raptorman
        May 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        True but Amber isn’t exactly the Adam West version of a superhero. That Batman was more a “support your local police” deputized officer of the law-type superhero.
        Amber in this case is more like channeling a good bit of the Keaton vigilante version of Batman, with maybe a touch of Bale’s Batman (I can even imagine her doing a good imitation of the voice).

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          May 14, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

          Oh she can be a mixture of every Batman

          …I just find it hilarious the idea of the 60’s theme song playing as she is violently beating people up!!!

          • Rex Hondo
            Rex Hondo
            May 14, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

            She should be Beware the Batman Batman. He didn’t get nearly enough of a chance.

            • Keroshino
              Keroshino
              May 14, 2014 at 10:26 am | #

              I agree!

        • Jerden
          Jerden
          May 14, 2014 at 5:16 am | #

          I figure that that what be what an actual superhero would be like. (I’d justify it by pointing out that he’s mostly harmless, and at least crime-fighting keeps him out of trouble, and gives the villainous nutcases someone to play with)
          Or, you know, in prison. Which may be where Amber is heading. The law frowns on vigilantes. The law is very grumpy.

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          May 14, 2014 at 11:39 pm | #

          Her punches don’t go biff, boff, and pow.

    • WaveRocker
      WaveRocker
      May 14, 2014 at 2:10 am | #

      NANANANA NANANANA–AMAZIGIRL!!!!!

    • TJ Baltimore
      TJ Baltimore
      May 14, 2014 at 10:12 am | #

      I heard this used as the “on hold” music for a biotechnology company yesterday! It blew my mind!

  38. De-Void
    De-Void
    May 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Ah geeze, Amber, no.
    One this is psychotic vengeance for something that happened years ago and two, there is no part of you that won’t regret this if you actually go through with it.

  39. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    May 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    What’s the punishment for underage drinking? It’s death right?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      If those PSA’s are accurate, then yes!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        Well, it’s either that or psychological scarring.

    • Sam
      Sam
      May 14, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

      Nah, it is three broken ribs and a broken nose and a bunch of bruises. No one likes bruises after all.

  40. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    May 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Oh finally…Shits going down!!!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      And it’s hitting the fan.

      • Batman
        Batman
        May 14, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        Who put a fan down there!?!

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          May 14, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

          Who knows, but I definitely don’t want to clean up that mess!

        • Belegcam
          Belegcam
          May 14, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

          Well, something has to be blowing her cape out like that.

          • anonymous
            anonymous
            May 14, 2014 at 2:54 am | #

            Oh no… is she shitting on the fan?

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        May 14, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

        Doesn’t it usually hit Cyclops in Willis comics?

  41. Fluffy
    Fluffy
    May 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    This ain’t gonna end well.

    • Raptorman
      Raptorman
      May 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      I agree….my bet is that Sal whoops her ass.

      • newllend
        newllend
        May 14, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        My moneys on Amazi-girl, but first I bet Malaya mouths of to her and she gets drop kicked in the face.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          May 14, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

          We can only hope.

        • Raptorman
          Raptorman
          May 14, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

          With ya on that one!

        • Ancestral Hamster
          Ancestral Hamster
          May 14, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

          Yes, please! And have Malaya lose her front teeth! (It will give her something legitimate to whine about instead of her usual excessive entitlement whining.)

  42. High Palouse Drifter
    High Palouse Drifter
    May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    Fuzz it, it’s the Cheese!

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      “Is it right to beat up someone who doesn’t remember me over shit that happened half a decade ago?”
      [I cannot tell you, or I will be cheating you the growth of your character.]

      • Jerden
        Jerden
        May 14, 2014 at 5:21 am | #

        They’ll be this moment, when Sal’s like, “what’s your problem, psycho!”, and then Amazi-Girl reveals it, and Sal remembers, and then they either talk over their respective problems and come to a better understanding of each other and themselves, or carry on fighting until one of them’s in hospital, thus starting a lifelong quest for vengeance.
        Or something like that.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          May 14, 2014 at 6:34 am | #

          Or Amber falls off the car and the others just leave.

          • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
            Gadgeteer Smashwidget
            May 14, 2014 at 9:31 am | #

            I am imagining that right now and I feel such mixed feelings of sympathy and contempt.

  43. xain
    xain
    May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    oh god amazigirl vs stickshift

  44. HorchataShake
    HorchataShake
    May 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    FRICK

  45. LeslieBean4Shizzle
    LeslieBean4Shizzle
    May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    Cheez it? Heh. Nice double (triple?) reference there Willis.

  46. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    Side note: You want some cheese with your whine Malaya?

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      ALL ZE TIME!!!

  47. synnerman
    synnerman
    May 14, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    It will not surprise me at all if Sal says “Hello Amber.”

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 14, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      I doubt that on the grounds that sal still doesn’t know who the fuck she is, at this point ambers just ” The weird girl who keeps running away when she see me,” to Sal rite now

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

      “You killed my ability to walk around barehanded. Prepare to die.”

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 14, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

      More likely “Hey fat girl who keeps sobbing and running away everytime I see you.”

  48. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Go home, Amazi-Girl, you’re crazy.

    • JWLM
      JWLM
      May 14, 2014 at 5:07 pm | #

      You’re just figuring this out?

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 14, 2014 at 8:42 pm | #

        What? I’ve been explaining her crazy for months now.

  49. Aizat
    Aizat
    May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    “Ladies. You have drink well. You’ve drunken your beers…and maybe some spirits. But your drink is nearly over. From this moment on….none of you are safe.”

    • Dr. Worm
      Dr. Worm
      May 15, 2014 at 3:47 am | #

      Can I just step in and say that that was my favorite Batman scene, like, ever?

  50. pendrake
    pendrake
    May 14, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    Art-wise, this has to be one of the best Amazi-Girl poses done, right down to the cape and wind-blown hair.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 2:22 am | #

      …I THOUGHT THAT LOOKED FAMILIAR

      *short attention span finally remembers the special backer wallpaper that’s pretty much a redraw of the last panel here*

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 14, 2014 at 2:34 am | #

      Agreed.

  51. John Madden
    John Madden
    May 14, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    Aw shit, this isn’t gonna end well.

  52. Raptorman
    Raptorman
    May 14, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    Wow Amber has gone Casey Jones crazy mode!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      At least she’s not wearing hockey pads.

      • Keroshino
        Keroshino
        May 14, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

        But does she play cricket?

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

      She better watch her speed.

  53. Tomas
    Tomas
    May 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

    Ah, youth… when getting a lousy six pack was like planning a heist.

  54. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 14, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

    In this corner, Amazi-girl.
    And in this corner….
    The girl who gives out ass whoopings AND booze.

    The Carlavore!!!

    And a girl who is half hate, half booze, all brat

    The Malayanator!!!

    And next, A woman of few words.

    MUTE….MARCYYYYYYYYYYYY

    And finally. The woman you’ve all been waiting for!
    our SALvation
    Our aSALant
    The SALIMON GRUNDY of INDIANA

    THE SALTY SAL!!!!!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

      Salty Sal? I would’ve gone with Stone Cold Sal.

      • newllend
        newllend
        May 14, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

        I like it, you know why?
        http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IEghXXP-jz4

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 14, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      “This is going to be one hell of a slobber knocker! “…. My JR impression sucks dude.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 14, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

        Well, at least you can do a JR impression. The only thing I can do is repeat things three times and say BAH GAWD and GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY.

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          May 14, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

          Or the always classic…
          “AS GOD AS MY WITNESS HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!!!

          • Knightsky
            Knightsky
            May 14, 2014 at 5:42 pm | #

            “BUSINESS HAS JUST PICKED UP!!!”

      • gwalla
        gwalla
        May 14, 2014 at 9:45 pm | #

        It’s a donnybrook!

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      May 14, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      “Salty Sal?”

      Sounds like an old-time children’s television show host.

      The best old-time children’s TV show host EVER.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 14, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

        Salty Sal seems like she’d be moonlighting as a weatherman on the same network, and possibly also as a nebulously-defined castle-dwelling creature-of-the-night who shows horror movies on Saturdays around midnight.

      • Avery
        Avery
        May 14, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

        Captain Kangaroo?

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        May 14, 2014 at 9:33 am | #

        better than pSALty

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 9:51 am | #

      *sigh* This makes them sound like pro wrestlers, not super-villains.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 14, 2014 at 10:30 am | #

        That’s what I was goin’ for!

  55. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 14, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

    “It’s murderin’ time!”
    -Hopefully not Amber

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      May 14, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

      Hey, at least it’s better than “It’s jokin’ time!”

  56. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 14, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

    Also… I kind of don’t want Amber to win this, either. No matter if she wins or loses, it’ll hurt her psyche, but I have a feeling that winning might make her more dangerously unstable in the future.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 9:52 am | #

      Oh, you needn’t worry about that. No one’s winning this fight.

  57. Godozo
    Godozo
    May 14, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    For some reason I get the image of Rorschach getting unmasked in The Watchman when I see AmaziGirl about to strike.

    And my impression of that scene (been years since I read the comic, admittedly) was that Rorschach never recovered from the unmasking. He just lost it totally.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 14, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      “GIVE ME BACK MY FAAAACE!”

      “FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!”

      • Raptorman
        Raptorman
        May 14, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        LOL love that part!

        • Ridureyu
          Ridureyu
          May 14, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

          FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        May 14, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        I swear to god if you successfully bring back that meme I will find you and I will kill you.

        With my penis.

        • Ridureyu
          Ridureyu
          May 14, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

          Hm. Debating…

        • StClair
          StClair
          May 14, 2014 at 2:54 am | #

          Not your femurs?

          • Tenn
            Tenn
            May 14, 2014 at 9:05 am | #

            He needs them to live.

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          May 14, 2014 at 5:24 pm | #

          For a nickel?

    • Vex Godglove
      Vex Godglove
      May 14, 2014 at 2:20 am | #

      GIVE ME BACK MY FACE!!!

      • Vex Godglove
        Vex Godglove
        May 14, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

        Oops. Ninja’d

  58. arank11
    arank11
    May 14, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

    *Puts on a monocle and sips tea slowly* “Yes. This is quite entertaining. Good show, Sir Willis. Good show, indeed.”

    • Spliced
      Spliced
      May 14, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      *adjusts sitting position as cream is stirred* Yes, I concur. Truly this is a intriguing turn of events.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        May 14, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

        *sips tea while adjusting the monocle* Yes, quite.

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 14, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

      *Sips tea * I wonder how they will fair barbaric scene that we will no doubt find invigorating.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 14, 2014 at 5:25 am | #

      I expect a truly spectacular spectacle, how about you chaps?

      *Hears kettle whistling*
      *Calls butler to make a cup of Earl Grey Tea*

      • arank11
        arank11
        May 14, 2014 at 12:30 pm | #

        “Would you like your Earl Grey Tea hot, sir?” Asks the butler

  59. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    May 14, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

    [dramatic action move music starts playing in the background]

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

      There’s only really one song dramatic enough for this scene.

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 14, 2014 at 2:59 am | #

        You have rare taste.

        (For a moment I thought you were going to link to a certain Metal song that’s been Rising in popularity of late…)

        (I also would have accepted this.)

  60. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    May 14, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

    Breaking the law! breaking the law! ♪

    • Godozo
      Godozo
      May 14, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

      You Don’t Know What It’s Like….

  61. Rutee
    Rutee
    May 14, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

    Well, this will go poorly for Amber.

    I mean, assuming she can beat Sal with Marcie and maybe Carla stepping in, that just means there’s an obviously unsympathetic bit of vigilantism that precisely nobody will be willing to lie about (The fact that blaine falsified the facts to the police basically makes it very unlikely she sees consequences from that, if not impossible). That makes it less likely Dorothy won’t spill the beans.

    Or she just gets her clock cleaned by Sal. If they don’t find love blooms after that like a non-zero number of shippers hope (Note: I ship Billie/Sal as much as Billie/Ruth, so this really doesn’t mean me), then, well… there’s Amazi-girl, having to check into a hospital.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

      This can really only go so poorly, I think. The way I understand it is the number one rule of webcomics is “no one likes drawn-out litigation arcs”, and one of those is really the only possible result of anyone here getting their clocks sufficiently cleaned.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 14, 2014 at 2:15 am | #

        Explain Phoenix Wright to me again =o

        • MM
          MM
          May 14, 2014 at 7:48 am | #

          No one likes litigation that actually reflects how it works in real life. (Including the time required, because Willis’s grandkids will have to finish the arc for him.)

      • Deathjavu
        Deathjavu
        May 14, 2014 at 4:00 am | #

        Yeah, that’s the interesting part for me as well- the impression I’ve gotten is that things can only go so badly before it slips into a long, drawn out storyline of pure misery.

        HOWEVER, I’m having a hard time seeing how Amber’s actions could realistically end in anything but (at the very least) a trial. Dorothy doesn’t seem the type to sit on evidence in a felony assault case (she hasn’t gotten that connection solid yet, but she will, and apparently another assault is happening tonight, to witnesses who will accurately describe the attacker), no matter how conflicted she might feel.

        I’m mostly just interested to see how this all shakes out without feeling too unrealistic. I think it’s a pretty narrow line that has to be walked to keep the strip feeling mostly realistic without Amber ending up in jail or worse.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          May 14, 2014 at 11:56 am | #

          Sal would nee report it, she has a grudge against the police.

        • Swerve
          Swerve
          May 14, 2014 at 12:55 pm | #

          There doesn’t need to be a trial. In the United States’ legal system, District Attorneys often offer first time offenders the chance to plead guilty to a less serious crime. The problem is that Amber is not a first time offender. Even if the assault charge from stabbing Sal was sealed, Amber has been committing acts of criminal mischief for weeks. If Dorothy outs Amber as Amazi-Girl and insinuates that Amber attacked Blaine, she could be in lots of legal hotwater. And I’m not talking about “Ultra Magnus gives you a speech about how what you did was wrong”. I mean “Ultra Magnus drags you to Garrus-9 in inhibitor cuffs, and your spark is extracted for decades” hotwater.

        • JWLM
          JWLM
          May 14, 2014 at 5:12 pm | #

          If I were the DA in Monroe County, I’d plea bargain this so fast that you’d hear the sonic boom in New York City, if not Seattle. A sympathetic white defendant with mental issues that can be traced directly to her abusive father and a past commited by her (black black blackity-black black) victim?

          Dude, I would *so* not be touching that.

  62. John
    John
    May 14, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

    I’m still rooting for this to devolve into the five of them sitting around drinking beer in the parking lot and Sal and Amber having tearful drunken bonding time.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 14, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

      That would actually be nice. Or just talking it out.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      May 14, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

      Oh, I’d like that.

    • Ben
      Ben
      May 14, 2014 at 2:05 am | #

      Crazy hopeful thought of the thread award goes to you. That’s what I’m hoping happens only after a couple punches are thrown, amber’s mask comes off and a bit of shouting occurs. just to make it more in line with how things seem to go in this comic.

      • John
        John
        May 14, 2014 at 3:56 pm | #

        Yeah, I don’t think it’s particularly likely, especially since if I recall preview panels from however many months ago Willis was drawing this, there’s some actiony stuff coming up, but if Sal (and, uh, Malaya, which might require a miracle) is reasonable and nonconfrontational about this, and Amazi-Girl’s unwilling to actually unilaterally attack someone who hasn’t initiated the violence (and it’s probably a good thing that A-G’s in the driver’s seat, not Amber right now), I could see it ending without any major characters in the hospital or jail.

        I wasn’t really seeing any other way it could end up like that, which I think it kind of has to for meta reasons, but someone downthread pointed out that all of Sal’s crew have wheels, so maybe we’re getting a chase scene, not an immediate fight.

  63. Nightsbridge
    Nightsbridge
    May 14, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

    Because underage drinking is totally worth beating someone up.

  64. Rex Hondo
    Rex Hondo
    May 14, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

    So, what’s the chance that this fight gets broken up before it can really get going by Wal-Mart cart boy Ninja Rick?

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

      Never presume Walmart doesn’t have ninjas at its disposal.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 14, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

        I’d feel quite validated in presuming Walmart doesn’t have ninjas at its disposal, because they don’t even pay their NORMAL employees. Ninjas want to be INVISIBLE, not at every street corner in the Bible Belt.

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        May 14, 2014 at 2:54 am | #

        That, or possibly a Wal-Mart employee arrives and suggests that Amazi-Girl should check out the prostitute aisle, as it might calm her down.

        (Note: I am aware that the idea that all an angry woman needs is a good evening of premarital hanky-panky is both loathsome and reprehensible. Occasionally ethics must be ignored in favour of a joke.)

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 14, 2014 at 10:00 am | #

        It does – only, they’re ninja LAWYERS.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 14, 2014 at 5:22 pm | #

      Nah, we need Cowboy Rick, the area’s rent-a-cop.

  65. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 14, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

    You know, I hate to say it, but my college years were much less eventful than this.

    And I was the one who had silly putty thrown through my window.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

      Did someone stamp a threatening note into it with newspaper ink?

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 14, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

        No, silly putty is threatening enough as-is.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          May 14, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

          Shit’s just gotten real when somebody whips out the Serious Putty, though.

          • AgentKeen
            AgentKeen
            May 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm | #

            Don’t get me started on the Muderous Intent Putty.

            • Rex Hondo
              Rex Hondo
              May 15, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

              Isn’t Murderous Intent Putty just another term for Semtex?

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 2:14 am | #

      Pretty sure Real Life can’t measure up to a well-written comic, that’s kind of the idea of writing.

      Unless you have a Super Awesome Real Life and are comparing it to some high schooler’s DeviantArt “comic,” but that’s significantly less likely.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        May 14, 2014 at 2:42 am | #

        Yeah, I’ll, uh, try to make my story less interesting, sorry!

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 14, 2014 at 10:01 am | #

          Sorry, Not sorry.

      • Deathjavu
        Deathjavu
        May 14, 2014 at 4:04 am | #

        Well, we’re not just getting one person’s story. We’re getting dozens of people’s stories, and collectively they are (obviously) more interesting than a single person’s story, especially since we can see how their stories interact.

        Also, my college life wasn’t particularly interesting, but I’ve seen and heard some absolutely bonkers stories, and watched some heartwrenchingly stupid but still sympathetic relationship crashes. RL college can be pretty crazy too.

  66. Blackbird
    Blackbird
    May 14, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

    Amazi-Girl: Badass.
    Sal: Badass.
    Marcie: Badass.
    Carla: We know nothing about Carla, but if she ain’t a badass, she ain’t this universe’s version of Ultra Car.
    Malaya: *sigh*

    One badass versus three badasses (and Malaya). These are not good Amazi-Odds. And I thought Sal was the one who sucked at math….

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      May 14, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

      Well, I mean Carla can’t fly, doesn’t have as much weight to throw around, is down an arm, and probably doesn’t have any cream pies on her.

      So I could accept Carla being less useful in combat than Ultra Car.

      Granted, that’s still two on one.

      • JWLM
        JWLM
        May 14, 2014 at 10:53 am | #

        Willis said that Carla in DoA is just like UC in SP!, “but you know, fleshy.” Also, she’s putting her skates on, just prepping up for some informal Roller Derby.

        This is looking distinctly double-plus-hopeful for Amazi-Girl.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 14, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      Why do so many people assume Sal and Marcie are badasses? Sal acts tough, but other than the robbery flashback, has she actually been in any sort of physical confrontation in this universe?

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        May 14, 2014 at 2:56 am | #

        Leaving aside her prowess on a motorbike, including the fairly wild ride with Marcie we witnessed, Sal is apparently able to start waterskiing without a lesson, not to mention easily manhandle Jason.

        Also, she climbs out windows.

        • Rex Hondo
          Rex Hondo
          May 14, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

          None of which imply fighting prowess. The closest would be Jason, but he wasn’t exactly fighting back.

          • Insanovich
            Insanovich
            May 14, 2014 at 5:33 am | #

            What about tossing Ruthless aside effortlessly after Walky said “Sal, no!”

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 14, 2014 at 3:54 pm | #

        Well, she was sent off to school. Everyone knows you learn badass fighting skills there.

    • jy2
      jy2
      May 14, 2014 at 1:31 am | #

      No, Amber is good at math. These are badasses we’re talking about, not normal people. Inverse Ninja Rule and all that.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 14, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

      *AHEM* Might I remind you that the other universe’s Malaya stalemated a brawl with a car (and I mean she wrestled a car, not she was fighting someone inside one) and apparently carries a knife around just in case and isn’t afraid to use it. Out of everyone assembled Malaya’s the most likely to send someone to the hospital, aside from Amazi-Crazy.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        May 14, 2014 at 2:59 am | #

        Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Malaya whips out a knife and Sal flips out on her because she doesn’t roll that way any more since turning over a new leaf and/or actually getting stabbed herself?

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          May 14, 2014 at 11:32 am | #

          or malaya whips out a knife, triggering a ptsd flashback in sal (because stabbings), while amazi-girl stands there like “well shit, what now?”

  67. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    May 14, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

    4 against 1! I can’t wait for the action sequence. 😀

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 14, 2014 at 3:46 am | #

      Malaya’s so obnoxious that Amazi-Girl changes her mind and teams up with the rest to curb stomp her instead?

  68. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    May 14, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

    Oh dear.

    I’m willing to bet that this will end in conviction, expulsion or serious injury.

    Perhaps two of the three. Maybe all of them.

  69. Oxyvolt
    Oxyvolt
    May 14, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

    This won’t end well. For Amber, I mean.

  70. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 14, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

    I’m reasonably sure we’ll get at least one montage of Amber beating up the non-Sals, framed to look AWESOME… though with a hint of how psychotic her behavior is. And then either she and Sal will have a huge showdown, or there will be some sort of swerve… either way, it’ll be exciting, but I doubt it’ll really be a four-on-one fight.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      May 14, 2014 at 4:07 am | #

      Yeah, 4-on-1 fights where the participants are remotely close to even tend to turn into more of ‘curbstompings’ and they’re pretty brutal.

      Since no one is going to be in the hospital for a week in comic time (one year IRL), I’m guessin that’s not where this is going.

  71. March
    March
    May 14, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

    Underaged drinking is against the law enough to be a justifiable beatdown sin?
    Huh.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 10:08 am | #

      When Amazi-Girl says ‘That makes this easier’, she’s not saying the cops will see what she’s doing in any better light. She’s saying this can make the law-abiding, do-gooder side of her conscience shut up long enough for the repressed-anger side of her conscience to have some fun.

  72. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    May 14, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

    At least Amber is Amazi-Girl, not Judge Dredd. Otherwise there would be four bullet-ridden corpses right now. They broke the law, and the Judges are judge, jury, and executioner.

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      May 14, 2014 at 5:30 am | #

      Yes, but at least Judge Dredd is qualified for those three roles! He went to Judge Academy and learnt Judging so that he could Judge. And Jury. And Execute.

    • King_Crimson
      King_Crimson
      May 14, 2014 at 5:33 pm | #

      underage drinking hardly counts as a crime worthy of a violent reaction of any kind. a proper judge would give them each 2 to 8 months in the isocubes. considering they’re still minors it might be even less. and i doubt they would put up a fight against a proper judge.

  73. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    May 14, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

    Malaya will run, and then watch from a safe distance.
    Carla will likely watch, no guess if she will jump in or not.
    Marcie will side will Sal.

    My guess it will just be 2 against 1.
    Amazi-girl is pissed. Sal is sharp, but Amber is crazy.

    I think she’s been running from her fear in that holdup for so long that she thinks that standing up to the bandit may stop the fear. Who knows?

    Yes, I know that she stabbed Sal in the hand while Sal was being arrested. And that’s the point. She did not stand up to her alone, face to face. Maybe she thinks if she beats her fair and square she will not be afraid anymore?

    If Marcie were not in the mix, I’d bet on a draw between Amazi-girl and Sal.

    ‘Ches it, the cops’? roflmao

  74. JenQPublic
    JenQPublic
    May 14, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

    Oh, Amber… I am afraid to read the next update. Seriously, I will be opening that tab and peeking through my fingers.

  75. Em
    Em
    May 14, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

    Hmm it would be interesting if Sal was to get hospitalized just to see the reaction from the parents. But Amber is totally in the wrong here. While Danny might’ve been okay with her cracking down on her father, I feel like he’ll different about this.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 2:10 am | #

      If she is hospitalized, she’ll be back out in a day, ’cause that’d be like two months of comic time as it is =p

  76. takashid
    takashid
    May 14, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

    goddamit amber

  77. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    May 14, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

    Amazigirl= supervillain?

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      May 14, 2014 at 1:48 am | #

      Does lawsuits count as criticism? If so OMG!

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 14, 2014 at 2:09 am | #

        I don’t know if Amazi-Girl criticism immunity passed over to the DoAverse. Pretty sure she just has immunity to normal-ass relationships with people.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 14, 2014 at 10:11 am | #

        No, Amazi-Girl has, in this universe, stated that she is immune to criticism. Whether or not she really is, is the question…

        • JWLM
          JWLM
          May 14, 2014 at 10:48 am | #

          Criticism? Sure. Legal consequences? Not so much.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 14, 2014 at 11:51 am | #

      I’ve been saying that for ages now.

  78. Kennerly
    Kennerly
    May 14, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

    Wait a sec….its 4am, everyone’s sober and looking to get drunk? What are you, graveyard shift workers?

  79. WaveRocker
    WaveRocker
    May 14, 2014 at 2:04 am | #

    No
    Amber
    don’t do dumb things

  80. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 14, 2014 at 2:16 am | #

    Prediction: Ultracar will punch Amazi-Girl and Amber will go down like someone switching a light off.

    • Jesse
      Jesse
      May 14, 2014 at 2:54 am | #

      No robots in this setting, they’re all human.

  81. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    May 14, 2014 at 2:41 am | #

    I just realized. Sal has a bike, Malaya and Carla are on skates, and Marcie has a skateboard if she didn’t just ride with Sal. They can all just leave.

  82. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    May 14, 2014 at 2:43 am | #

    Decided to not play around with the meaning of the arc title this time?

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      May 14, 2014 at 9:20 am | #

      I think the next chapter title (visible in the Archives dropdown) is going to make up for any lack of around-playering with this one.

      “The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit”

      I don’t even.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 14, 2014 at 10:13 am | #

        I saw that. And, I CAN imagine. This is the same artist that gave us the ‘Butt-Taco’.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        May 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm | #

        Sounds like someone sneaks into empty classrooms and draws cocks on the board for people to eventually walk in on.

        I’ve done something similar, but it was a superhero rather than a phallus. Because any old wanker can whip out a dong.

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          May 14, 2014 at 2:47 pm | #

          Yeah, I figured as much, but there are so many ways to turn that into a storyline. The only thing that seems a given (if it is what it sounds like) is that seeing dingdongs on whiteboards all day is going to affect Joyce in some way. Like, making her snap and suck like a billion dicks.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          May 14, 2014 at 8:27 pm | #

          Someone at our college drew this awesome elaborate chalkboard graffiti, and the professor [really a grad student] complained primarily because it was chalk [1. impermanent, and 2. a slight hazard to the MANY computers in the room].

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      May 14, 2014 at 11:35 am | #

      well it’s a song reference, does that count?

  83. RandomGuy
    RandomGuy
    May 14, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

    Is her name Carla because calling a regular person Ultracar would be weird? Does she become Spider Carla?
    Stay tuned for our next episode!!!

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      May 14, 2014 at 9:21 am | #

      Yes. No. Hell yeah!

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 10:13 am | #

      Yes, yes she does! Spider-Carla FTW!

  84. anonymous
    anonymous
    May 14, 2014 at 3:02 am | #

    AMBER

    Because justice always prevails!
    And maybe after two of her foes are defeated and she graciously shows mercy on Sal, she’ll be more stable! I mean, it is their fault she lost it… Sal perhaps less so. Vengeance!
    But AmaziGirl, do you really have to seek her out to beat her up? Or if she wasn’t breaking laws, would you just stalk her across campus?

  85. acher4
    acher4
    May 14, 2014 at 3:03 am | #

    Fight!Fight!Fight! 😀

  86. Tommy Bologna
    Tommy Bologna
    May 14, 2014 at 3:11 am | #

    Place your bets, do you think Sal will completely dominate the scene, or will Amber have a mental break down and beat her within an inch of her life?

    Or will Ethan show up last second and completely deny us the fight because Dorothy went and told him what’s what and he tries to get Amber to let go of the past like he did, even though Sal went coo-coo for Cap’n Crunch and traumatized Amber into stabbin’ a bongo?

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      May 14, 2014 at 4:10 am | #

      It’s interesting, I’m seeing a lot of people thinking Sal (alone) has the upper hand, but not a lot of reasoning for it. There’s a pretty big difference between someone who’s trained and ready to fight, and someone who isn’t…

      My money’s still on Amber.

      • Andiemus
        Andiemus
        May 14, 2014 at 5:41 am | #

        “Trained”? Did Amber take up MMA when I wasn’t looking? Sal’s every bit as trained as Amber is, and Amber gave up surprise when she jumped on the roof of a car.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          May 14, 2014 at 6:27 am | #

          Yes, actually, she did. Hence all the running up walls and flipping she’s done. Willis mentioned it several times in the comments.

          Mentioning in the comic at somepoint would probably be wise but that’s probably for the inevitable BIG origin flashback.

          • gangler
            gangler
            May 14, 2014 at 7:23 am | #

            I mean, one way or another she’s clearly not an amateur. She’s taken on multiple opponents at once. She’s taken on much larger and stronger opponents. We know for a fact that she beats people up strangers on a regular basis. You’d kind of have to ignore a lot to assume she wasn’t in some way proficient at this.

          • John
            John
            May 14, 2014 at 4:04 pm | #

            A-G needs a training montage. With ’80s music (oh gods this Amber wasn’t even born yet in the ’80s, was she) and like running on wires while carrying buckets of concrete and punching telephone poles and balancing on one hand on rooftops and waxing cars and stuff.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 10:17 am | #

      Actually, I’m hoping Danny will show up. As in the Walky-verse, he possesses the ability to calm mad rages. And he already has empathy with Amazi-Girl. He’s what she needs right now.

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 14, 2014 at 1:17 pm | #

        Would that make him Betty Ross at the end of the Ang Lee movie, calming down The Hulk?

  87. JoeMerl
    JoeMerl
    May 14, 2014 at 3:28 am | #

    Amber: I think I’ll beat up that Malaya girl too. Something about her just makes me automatically want to punch something.

    • Tommy Bologna
      Tommy Bologna
      May 14, 2014 at 3:32 am | #

      We can only hope Malaya accidentally falls down a man-hole.

      • Doc
        Doc
        May 14, 2014 at 5:28 am | #

        No I want her to back away from her sort of non-municipal code ways. and Show that AG has mercy.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 3:48 am | #

      DEATH BY FACE-PUNCHING

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      May 14, 2014 at 12:51 pm | #

      DOA has no shortage of Backpfeifengesicht.

  88. Fullleatherjacket
    Fullleatherjacket
    May 14, 2014 at 3:53 am | #

    “There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other– [KRAKK] –hurts.”

  89. newllend
    newllend
    May 14, 2014 at 4:34 am | #

    I wonder if at least one of them recognizes her from the paper.

  90. Kevin
    Kevin
    May 14, 2014 at 4:50 am | #

    And then AG beat all the obnoxious brats into pulp and we never heard from them again.

  91. Chubomik
    Chubomik
    May 14, 2014 at 5:25 am | #

    *GROAN

  92. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    May 14, 2014 at 6:22 am | #

    This won’t end well for Amber. Knowing Malaya and Carla, they’ll probably beat the crap out of her.

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 14, 2014 at 7:24 am | #

      Actually, knowing Malaya and Carla, neither one gives two shits about Sal, and definitely won’t stick their necks out to help in a fight that has nothing to do with them.

      • MM
        MM
        May 14, 2014 at 7:54 am | #

        I dunno. Obliging someone who’s picked a fight seems like the sort of thing Malaya might do.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        May 14, 2014 at 3:08 pm | #

        Amazi-Girl isn’t singling out Sal though. She’s using underage drinking as a reason to interfere and everyone but Carla is guilty so everyone but Carla is technically being threatened.

        • CianM1301
          CianM1301
          May 14, 2014 at 3:40 pm | #

          Exactly. So while Carla may not be obliged, I doubt that Malaya would want to be caught for underage drinking, and would probably proceed to beat the crap out of Amber.

        • Jason
          Jason
          May 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm | #

          Carla’s guilty too.

          • CianM1301
            CianM1301
            May 14, 2014 at 5:02 pm | #

            Yeah, I had forgotten to mention that. She was caught buying alcohol for minors.

            • gangler
              gangler
              May 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm | #

              She mentions that she did so with a fake id. I’m pretty sure she’s as underage as anybody else here.

              • JWLM
                JWLM
                May 14, 2014 at 8:09 pm | #

                She’s a sophomore, so she’s not likely to be any older than 20.

                Either way, she bought for minors — that’s actually a fairly serious crime in most states. (In my home state, for instance, it’s a gross misdemeanor. Not *quite* a felony, but just shy of one.)

                • gangler
                  gangler
                  May 14, 2014 at 8:19 pm | #

                  I’m pretty sure that just the way these laws are handled it’s generally a much greater offense to provide the drugs to an under-age individual than it is to partake of them while under-age.

                  Makes sense when you think about it. You accomplish a whole lot more by punishing the place that’s selling to minors than you do by punishing any individual minor. If you slap the kid with a fine while the cashier continues to neglect to check for ID then not much has changed for the community as a whole.

  93. maxlines
    maxlines
    May 14, 2014 at 6:29 am | #

    Girl-fight!

  94. gangler
    gangler
    May 14, 2014 at 6:56 am | #

    People are really expecting Sal to put up a fight, because she’s a badass who smokes and rides a motorcycle, but we don’t actually have any indication that she has any fighting abilities, or even any kind of strength/agility beyond what’s required to climb in and out of her dormroom window.

    Four people in the area doesn’t necessarily mean four people fighting back either. It’s not as if Amber walked in on Captain Sal and her Pirate Crew or anything.

    I think we should maybe ease up on the excitement, because what’s coming could be a gruesome one-sided beatdown directed at somebody who was just minding her own business trying to share a drink with some friends and acquaintances.

    • TSB
      TSB
      May 14, 2014 at 6:08 pm | #

      “Captain Sal and her Pirate Crew” keeps cracking me up every time I think about it, thanks. And it’s also an excellent point.

      My jaw would hit the floor if Malaya or Carla made a serious effort to fight. Carla has just met these people and doesn’t even want to sit around a minute and split a beer. I would bet a couple bucks that Malaya is either going to stand around bongoing and/or freaking out, thus escalating the situation, or she is going to GTFO immediately. One of them might call the cops, maybe make a token effort to shove Amber away, but actually commit to a throw down once they see Amber is dangerous, determined to fight, and actually only focused on Sal? I can’t see it at all.

      Sal in this comic has struck me as a self-aware person trying to work on her own issues and stay out of trouble, though she doesn’t always succeed. I see her, and Marcie too, as having the initial smart reaction of “you aren’t the cops, we don’t have to deal with you, you should go or we should”, and trying to remove themselves from the conflict (even if they phrase it more like “fuck off”).

      So yeah, I agree that it’s possible none of them can or will fight here, and I further submit arguments that it’s not just possible but probable.

  95. Smallfoot
    Smallfoot
    May 14, 2014 at 7:01 am | #

    Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old friend, Underaged Drinking. So we meet again. How are you, Underaged Drinking? …besides illegal?

    • Stranger
      Stranger
      May 14, 2014 at 10:23 am | #

      Heh, Clone High

  96. Kifre
    Kifre
    May 14, 2014 at 7:15 am | #

    so…much…to dislike about Amber….hard to…aughhhh

  97. dropded
    dropded
    May 14, 2014 at 7:23 am | #

    The only way this ends well is if everyone starts hugging and forgiving each other. Odds?

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 8:29 pm | #

      I *so* want Sal to break out Twinkies and tell AG to calm down, and AG is all … =D BFFs

  98. Felgraf
    Felgraf
    May 14, 2014 at 7:25 am | #

    Sooooo.
    She’s, uh.
    Coming up with reasons so she can justify to herself that they ‘made’ her hurt them.
    Way to follow the same path as your dad, Amber.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 14, 2014 at 8:38 am | #

      Yeah… didn’t even realize she was in the business of enforcing the law. Thought she was more of a general “Clean up your community, keep people safe” type than a Judge Dredd type.

  99. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    May 14, 2014 at 7:48 am | #

    “How are you, underage drinking, except ILLEGAL!”

  100. RandomRedMage
    RandomRedMage
    May 14, 2014 at 8:34 am | #

    Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law.

  101. Nono
    Nono
    May 14, 2014 at 8:39 am | #

    On a second read, I got reminded of the Sal/Billie throwdown in It’s Walky!

    This, however, is far less exciting and far more ‘Oh noooooo’

  102. CallMeIshmael
    CallMeIshmael
    May 14, 2014 at 8:48 am | #

    Amber REALLY is an unlikeable asshole, isn’t she?

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 14, 2014 at 12:43 pm | #

      At the moment. She’s kinda broken right now.

    • Kifre
      Kifre
      May 14, 2014 at 7:04 pm | #

      YES. Yes. Yes. Yes. She is.

  103. hof1991
    hof1991
    May 14, 2014 at 8:59 am | #

    Carla takes the six pack and skates away. AG isn’t interested in her, but Sal is suddenly rather not guilty. AG then needs a new excuse to confront Sal.

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 14, 2014 at 1:14 pm | #

      Sal is holding a can of something in both yesterday’s strip as well as today’s.

  104. Morgauxo
    Morgauxo
    May 14, 2014 at 9:01 am | #

    Yeah, I know it’s another universe and Carla is not Ultracar but since we don’t really know much about Carla yet…

    I think a fight between Amazigirl and Ultracar could be interesting.

  105. Aprion
    Aprion
    May 14, 2014 at 9:11 am | #

    Its about to hit the fan. Lets see how far it sprays.

  106. ChaosEngine
    ChaosEngine
    May 14, 2014 at 9:14 am | #

    Yeeeee… this ain’t gonna end well for Amber methinks.

  107. Tufto
    Tufto
    May 14, 2014 at 9:18 am | #

    AWW HELLS YES.

  108. Egraind
    Egraind
    May 14, 2014 at 10:19 am | #

    So Amber’s a fan of the Fascist Supercop interpretation of Batman.

  109. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    May 14, 2014 at 10:36 am | #

    I keep forgetting that you have to be 21 to drink in the US. The whole concept is completely bonkers to me, and I really don’t understand why you guys aren’t changing this. If Harper attempted to pull this crap here (and I’m pretty sure he could considering his track record of making Canada suck a little bit more each year), there would be riots.

    Alcohol is like, an integral part of college life here. Fighting over a meager 6-pack is something we did in high school, not college. XD

    • clodia
      clodia
      May 14, 2014 at 10:38 am | #

      Alcohol is integral to college here too. There’s a certain amount of “look the other way” when it comes to drinking in college. Most people seem to have easier access than this, going to house parties or having older friends who don’t care.

    • OmegaDez
      OmegaDez
      May 14, 2014 at 10:38 am | #

      …on the other hand, it’s impossible to buy alcohol after 11PM here, (outside of a bar) and there’s definitely NOT a drop of the stuff at places like Wal-Mart. Two other mind blowing foreign concepts here, but those are actually awesome.

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      May 14, 2014 at 12:36 pm | #

      Isn’t your Torus-State the one with public officials who get tanked on engex and circuit boosters? Or are you the guys who are unfailingly polite while riding horses in red tunics? I mixing up Earth geography. (Now Earth geology is something else…)

      • OmegaDez
        OmegaDez
        May 14, 2014 at 3:30 pm | #

        You’re thinking of english canadians. 😉

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 14, 2014 at 1:20 pm | #

      “…I really don’t understand why you guys aren’t changing this.”

      At one time in recent history (since 1970) it *WAS* legal to drink at age 18.  But then we had the do-gooders like MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) and other anti-alcohol/anti-drug factions team up and pressure the legislature to slowing reverse the trend.  The biggest thing that forced these laws, however, was when the federal government threatened to withhold a percentage of federal highway funding (money the federal government would grant to a state for construction/maintenance of major highways) from a state unless it passed a 21-year-old drinking law.  This is also how we got the 55-mph speed limit jammed down our throats back in the days of the so-called energy crisis.

      • OmegaDez
        OmegaDez
        May 14, 2014 at 3:32 pm | #

        Interesting…

      • Argon
        Argon
        May 14, 2014 at 3:46 pm | #

        It was de facto 18 in Louisiana until 1995, because of convenient loopholes.

    • gangler
      gangler
      May 14, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

      Much as it seems weird to me, I’d keep in mind that a drinking age of 19 doesn’t exactly leave us with the greatest leg to stand on. A lot of people do still spend a solid chunk of their first year in post-secondary underage. All those snappy little things that people throw around like “You can operate a firearm, serve in the military, own land, get married before you can drink”, pretty sure they apply to us too.

  110. Galatine
    Galatine
    May 14, 2014 at 11:40 am | #

    Oh, hey, it’s Psycho-Girl. Hurray for Psycho-Girl.

  111. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    May 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm | #

    Violence to Malaya is the best kind of violence.

  112. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    May 14, 2014 at 12:50 pm | #

    1 Amazi-girl is kind of a fascist isn’t she?

    2 Sometimes only those that DO remember the past are condemned to repeat it. (Seriously, fuck the past, sometimes anyway)

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      May 14, 2014 at 1:04 pm | #

      Amber, dude, you went full dredd. Everybody knows you never go full dredd O_ou

  113. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    May 14, 2014 at 12:58 pm | #

    Also. I may be wrong, but Marcie is a wild-card here. I don’t see her standing by, and she’s pretty athletic and fearless. She seems chill, but I don’t know if I’d want her mad at me.

  114. Lel
    Lel
    May 14, 2014 at 1:04 pm | #

    And then Sal punched Amazi-Girl in the face, providing the first actual resistance she’s encountered all comic. Amazi-Girl immediately falls over, and everyone runs away.

    … wait, did Blaine actually try to fight her/physically abuse her? I forget. But anyway, as someone who’s been in quite a few fights, people who haven’t got experience getting hit tend to panic and loose, regardless of whether or not they’re bigger/stronger/faster. The human body is fragile and likes to remind you of it.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 1:54 pm | #

      Blaine’s more of a verbal abuse type, but I believe he tried to grab her once, and got punched. This was Amber, BTW, not Amazi-Girl.

    • John
      John
      May 14, 2014 at 2:47 pm | #

      Blaine appeared to be trying to fight Amber, but I don’t think he ever landed anything even resembling a hit. She wrecked him so hard and fast he never had a chance.

  115. Bill
    Bill
    May 14, 2014 at 1:33 pm | #

    We’ve seen the flashbacks where Sal had Ethan at knifepoint during the C-store holdup, and Amber was cowering helplessly.  We then are shown a scene where Sal has been disarmed and arrested, and Amber goes berserk, grabs the knife, and stabs Sal in the hand.  *BUT DID WE EVER SEE WHAT HAPPENED IN BETWEEN??*  No, we did not.

    We also know that Amber has been constantly chided and put down by her controlling and manipulative father, including references to this incident as well as remarks against Amber’s mother.

    So I’m gonna toss this out here and then duck-and-cover.

    Blaine happened to walk into the C-store at the climax of the holdup (he’d been outside pumping gas, right?).  It was he who rescued Ethan and neutralizing Sal at least until the police arrived.  And of course, he never let Amber forget that she was just a cowering little pipsqueak who did nothing to help her friend.

    So *THIS* is what is driving Amber’s passion to be Amazi-Girl.  It also explains why she was in such a white-hot rage against Blaine.  And since in Amber’s mixed-up mind, all this would never have happened had Sal not tried to hold up the C-store, she has made Sal her bête noire in much the same way that the white whale became Ahab’s single point of focus and ultimate source of destruction.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 2:25 pm | #

      Close, but not quite. Blaine did nothing heroic, from what I can tell – he stood by while the police disarmed the situation, and then verbally abused his PTSD’d daughter until she snapped.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 14, 2014 at 11:14 pm | #

      Interesting theory! But it would require Blaine to have done something useful. Not sure the fanbase would stand for it.

    • spiderfan14
      spiderfan14
      August 23, 2015 at 9:10 pm | #

      wow, that sounds like an awesome plot twist. I kinda hope Willis uses that.

  116. Some guy
    Some guy
    May 14, 2014 at 2:48 pm | #

    Amazi-issues to the… rescue?

  117. justsomeguy1911
    justsomeguy1911
    May 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm | #

    You either die the hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

  118. Beth
    Beth
    May 14, 2014 at 3:29 pm | #

    legitimately just accidentally referred to this comic as “dumbing in the name of”

  119. ShadowDJ
    ShadowDJ
    May 14, 2014 at 3:49 pm | #

    uh, Amber? This is just silly. I mean, these girls are tough from what I remember from past chapters AND in Shortpacked. Even if Carla isn’t a robot, she still has THREE people to go against someone who has no real training and if Sal was a former convict, i doubt she would have soften up over the years.

  120. Roborat
    Roborat
    May 14, 2014 at 4:04 pm | #

    Wait, did Sal just say Daganabbit? That is too funny.

    My first thought was, next scene, whoever owns that car fires it up and drives away with Amazi-girl on the roof, as she yells “curses, foiled again”.

  121. Jason
    Jason
    May 14, 2014 at 4:05 pm | #

    Uh, Amazi-Girl, isn’t it illegal or something to climb up on top of other peoples’ vehicles?

  122. Chris M.
    Chris M.
    May 14, 2014 at 4:16 pm | #

    I’m not nearly as sure as everyone else that Amazi-Girl is going in swinging. First, we know she doesn’t throw the first punch for non-violent crimes: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/shortstuff . Second, she generally wears the mask in order to suppress her worse instincts. Presumably that’s still her reason, since she doesn’t suppose it’ll hide her identity anymore. Third, you don’t generally beat up a bunch of people when your secret identity is about to be revealed. Fourth, while Amber is often violent, she never premeditates it. Finally, she just told Ethan that she wanted to be a different person facing Sal than last time: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/same-person/ .

    I don’t know exactly what she’s going to try. Maybe picking up Sal and running somewhere with her like she did Billie so she can talk to her with Amazi-Girl’s self-control?

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 14, 2014 at 5:34 pm | #

      The thing to understand is that the person she normally is, is the same person she was during her first encounter with Sal: a weak, cowardly, useless little girl. That’s how she sees herself, no thanks to her father. That’s who she doesn’t want to be when she faces Sal – thus, the mask. It’s her fear, not her rage, that the mask is there to suppress.

  123. Sambo
    Sambo
    May 14, 2014 at 4:43 pm | #

    Amazi-Girl looks so awesome in this shot 😀

  124. Casey Jones
    Casey Jones
    May 14, 2014 at 4:56 pm | #

    Batman: When you say become a cop and fight crime the right way you realize most cops are actually crazier than you right?

  125. King_Crimson
    King_Crimson
    May 14, 2014 at 5:25 pm | #

    funny you mention breaking the law amber. because being a vigilante is also against the law. as is assault and battery.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 14, 2014 at 8:13 pm | #

      That was Amber, though??

      *imagines AG walking up to campus security to turn in Amber by ripping off her mask*

  126. Chase
    Chase
    May 14, 2014 at 5:44 pm | #

    Also, you’re super outnumbered, Amber…

  127. BattleDomeGuy
    BattleDomeGuy
    May 14, 2014 at 6:09 pm | #

    I say that they are going to laugh and say, “And your point is…” or something like that and start beating the shit out of Amber, then Sal is going to recognize Amber and tell them to stop beating her up.

  128. TJ Baltimore
    TJ Baltimore
    May 14, 2014 at 7:13 pm | #

    I know synnerman said it above, but . . .

    I half-expect Sal to say something like, “Hey, yer that girl who stabbed me when Ah took yer little friend hostage in the convenience store years ago, aintcha? Sorry ’bout that; Ah was in a bad place in mah life. So . . . how ya been? An’ why are ya wearin’ a mask?”

  129. Casey Jones
    Casey Jones
    May 14, 2014 at 8:08 pm | #

    I don’t know Sal didn’t recognize her before without a mask. As for being outnumbered, she was outnumbered when she saved Danny that one time.

  130. gwalla
    gwalla
    May 14, 2014 at 9:57 pm | #

    Wow, Amber has flipped her shit. Well, even more flipped than her shit already was. Flipped further, but not, you know, so much that it has rotated a full 360°, because that would be indistinguishable from having not flipped at all. I think this metaphor has gotten away from me.

    But anyway there’s no way Amber is not going to end up in prison and/or a hospital at this point.

    • Riku
      Riku
      May 14, 2014 at 11:44 pm | #

      Her shit has flipped 359° and flopped onto the fan

  131. Darnel
    Darnel
    May 14, 2014 at 11:26 pm | #

    ???
    Doesn’t Sal have Super Powers?

    • Riku
      Riku
      May 14, 2014 at 11:43 pm | #

      Not in this universe

  132. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    May 14, 2014 at 11:55 pm | #

    Aw $#¡+

  133. Random832
    Random832
    May 15, 2014 at 2:26 pm | #

    Any lawyers here? Does challenging someone to a fight [as Amazi-girl’s words arguably qualify as this] forfeit your right to claim self-defense if they hit you first, in the state of Indiana?

    • Random832
      Random832
      May 15, 2014 at 2:31 pm | #

      Ignore this, I meant to post to today’s.

  134. TheKelliestKelly
    TheKelliestKelly
    May 31, 2014 at 12:56 pm | #

    Five folks, a case of beer, and a Wal-Mart parking lot. Sounds like Sal’s kind of party

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/walmart/

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