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mel! @mel.bzky.team ⋅ 5m
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
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Worried Walky worries me.
Worried Walky worries while wily women wander while waxing wonderfully
Sure, joke it up. Not like an old friend’s having a crisis or anything.
Don’t take it too personally. Hell, look at any given Danny strip, and you’ll see people are here for puns, jokes and alliteration as much as actually paying attention to the context. I don’t think any disrespect to the situation is intended.
Yeah, besides, there’s ALWAYS a problem in a Danny strip. It’s always a mystery(and usually quite hilarious) to find out what he’s gonna “Dan” up next.
He’s the Eric Forman of the dumbiverse
Oh please don’t say that. It’s depressing.
Siege of Avalon? :O
Don’t forget the finger thing
Foolproof birth control indeed.
That depends where the finger’s been.
Possibly the birth canal?
Her panties have a Retina scan.
Fuck, the Alt Text beat me to it!
Wherever you go, the Alt Text’s already been there. Of course that includes Dorothy’s panties.
Also, your mom.
Your comment made me giggle. +1 internet for you.
You need presidential clearance to access.
That’s why she needs to become president, it’s getting frustrating.
AHAHHAHAHAAHHA
There’s a comic on Slipshine that says otherwise.
Unless Walky is a time traveler!
Flawless reasoning is flawless ^^
Well played.
Joyce in a new outfit!
It looks… pretty good actually.
She’s dressed to match Walky.
It’s so odd seeing Joyce in a cool-coloured ensemble, but it works.
Joyce needs to keep her hair in a ponytail. Always.
Also, that jacket. Yes.
Yes, always.
</brain>
And Walky has only one key
Danny has the other.
They have to use their keys together to enter Dorothy. But they can’t let the keychains touch, that’s gay.
I wonder if he points a gun at Dorothy and tells her to turn her key if she hesitates???
Like this?
That sequence always gives me terror chills.
Was totally thinking of that also.
A worried Walky keeps the doctor away.
The chastity belt is a bit overkill…it’s an Everlast!.
I did a vendor search for that…
Vendor search, hell. You need an IMDB search for that joke.
(Though, it was better when it was a visual gag. Doing the joke verbally for a 2nd time in the film highlighted how weak a joke it was to begin with)
Well searchin Everlast’s online store led me to a link from the scene in Men in Tights, so it’s not like I didn’t get it eventually.
Uh oh, it’s stuck. Call a locksmith!
Where would the keys go into?
I’ll tell you when you’re older.
Think “Goldeneye”:
Ourumov walks toward a large control panel and slides the GoldenEye in a slot, and hands a key to Xenia. They slide the keys in…
Ourumov: “On my count… 3… 2… 1!”
They turn the keys at the same time. It activates the electronic map on the wall.
Walky. He’s got some interesting kinks.
Dotty’s womb is at DEFCON-4.
So, it has only minimal additional intelligence and security efforts above the norm? DEFCON-5 is the lowest alert level, and it scales up to 1 from there (DEFCON-1 meaning imminent nuclear war).
Why does joyce think Dorothy being pregnant would be a bad thing?
Because they’re not married, dude. That shit’s Blasphemy apparently!
Also they’re both 18/19 and it would effectively ruin Dorothy’s future career.
Not necessarily. Depends on Dorothy’s stance on abortion and how accessible that kind of thing is in the fine state of Indiana.
And even then there’s still adoption and such to consider.
I mean, I’ll grant that if anyone ever found out there’d be problems with her running for office. But not ones that are necessarily insurmountable.
True, but Joyce would not for a moment consider abortion a possibility, probably, certainly not as the first option to come to mind. That’s how she is.
I wasn’t suggesting she would, only that SUGauthor’s assertion that Dorothy’s career is “effectively ruined” should she get pregnant is a false one.
The girl’s also an atheist. An atheist getting elected president in America is already such a long shot, having it widely known that she’s a baby murdering atheist would pop that soap bubble with extreme prejudice.
Not necessarily, considering that Millenials are getting turned off of religion by religious conservatives.
Nah, she just needs to run in a conservative state. Fifteen million kids starting at age 18 to parade around seems to be their thing. :/
Premarital hanky panky!!
D’aww, Little baby boy/girl “Premarital Hanky Panky” Walkerton.
P.H.P. Walkerton! Yes. It has a nice ring to it ^^
While pregnancy I of itself isn’t a bad thing, it would really put a damper on her plans for the future.
It seemed to work well for the stupidest VP candidate ever put on this earth!
Dan Quayle got pregnant?!?
That man was a genius by comparison. I’m from Indiana, and I remember the day… He was a lousy speaker, but at least he knew what he was talking about on committee (the Chicken-Hawk Committee).
If Dan could have gotten pregnant from watching Murphy Brown, it would have happened – that I’m certain of.
No, Gerald Ford.
Most VPs after the 12th amendment would fall in this category.
Catullus, I award you ALL the internetz.
Cos it’s not hers?
Not to mention I don’t think they would be able to handle raising a baby at this point of they’re lives.
newllend that’s where your wrong 3 easy rules to follow
1. Keep it right in front of the tv everyday for at least 3 hours.
2. If it cried shake it!
3. Babies are attention hungry so ignore it
Bah…
Bus station toilets or convenient dumpsters are popular in the midwest.
Wow, no one made this joke yet?
Did you have trouble turning her key, Walky? Do you turn yours first?
Well done Agentkeen well done we almost lost an opportunity on that Mission accomplished.
Well fuck you Joyce automatically assuming shit.
Well, she knows that Walky and Dorothy are doing the PMHP.
And I doubt that she’s been raised to know that modern technology allows for a sex life with minimal risk of complications, as long as everyone’s minimally careful.
I mean, I went to public school, and sex ed still boiled down to “if you have sex before you’re married, there WILL be pregnancy and death from horrible, horrible STIs.”
Dang, I went to public school and they were like, “Abstinence is the best, only 100% foolproof way to not get pregnant. But if you DO have sex, here’s what you can do to keep yourself safe and hopefully not pregnant. Oh and by the way, here are the consequences if you have unsafe sex.” It was pretty comprehensive and informative.
Yeah, I went to high school in Maryland and they gave us the lowdown on various safe methods. THEN they scared the piss out of us with STD pictures.
Kind of harsh? She’s naive, has an overactive imagination, and has been taught her whole life that if you engage in premarital hanky-panky there DEFINITELY WILL be negative consequences. Plus, she cares more about Dorothy than Walky, so of course her mind jumps to Dorothy.
hey now, her faith in god leaves little to no room for faith in anyone else (least of all herself).
Out of all things that could be wrong why does she assume that its a little Rude.
If she knew what was and was not rude, she might not be so mean to Dina.
Haven’t you heard? God only allows sex for having babies, so of course you get pregnant every time you have sex.
Or, at least, that’s the case in half the fanfic on FF.net.
Considering my husband and I had basically given up after two years of trying before we were able to conceive, I have my doubts about this theory.
Fanfiction.net LIED to us about sex. They LIED!!!
I’m sorry about your situation – media are really, really bad at representing people who have difficulties to conceive.
I suppose Always Assume the Worst (for those who follow Ungodly Ways) must be Fundie 101. Joyce is probably amazed that the people around her aren’t stricken by the righteous fury of God on a daily basis.
I just did a few quick Google searches. 48% of the United States are not Protestant and therefore damned in Joyce’s eyes.
The odds of being struck by lightning in the United States each year are 1 in 700,000.
I wonder which is the more amusing mental image:
1) The Lord being far more chill than Joyce believes, relaxing on a big fluffy cloud and shaking Leonardo Da Vinci’s hand, completely oblivious that one of His followers is trying to ‘fix’ another gay dude
2) The Lord seething with rage at all the stuff Joyce keeps pointing out, throwing a whole bunch of lightning bolts at sinners, being repeatedly foiled by lightningrods, trees, and the Faraday-cage protection that automobiles provide, and then running out of ammo after being able to successfully smite, like, ONE guy
Or 3) God reclining on his Golden Throne, secure in the knowledge that they’ve all gotta come past Him in the end and at that point He will definitely fix their little red wagon.
That was my reaction too. It’s a little offensive to assume the most scandalous thing you can imagine. There are so many *other* things that could go wrong, and none of them involve PMHP.
Joyce is also currently very obsessed with thoughts of pre-marital hanky panky (and wanting to do it with Ethan but feeling guilty for wanting it) and relationships in general, so if anyone else is having issues, her mind immediately would jump to that. Plus, that’s the big drama in her life right now. It may have happened over a month ago in real time, but in DOA time, she just found out they’re having sex and is still processing the info.
YAY, JOYCE IS BACK!
“Basically the path to her ovaries is the long hallway of doors from MST3K.”
AAAH WE GOT OVARIES SIGN
Those of us who are a little older picture instead the hallway of doors from Get Smart.
now i’m picturing walky saying “missed it by THAT MUCH”, which i guess could be a joke about accidental anal…
“Would you believe…”
that actually happened to me, or it would have if my pointing out the error in his trajectory hadn’t undermined my partner’s sexual confidence. for several months. (my being asexual-and-unaware-of-it-so-i-couldn’t-be-straightforward-about-it didn’t help anything, but dude had so many issues…)
That just made me think of the time my dad gave my mom a suppository and her response was “You put it in the wrong hole.”
Why do you know that???
Nuclear Family Way?
OK I tried to post a link to the chapter of PS 238 about the Nuclear Family, but the dang thing didn’t post.
Now, the intelligent person says “I went to bed alone last night and when I woke up Billy was there.” It’s an unambiguous statement that also negates you of any wrongdoing. How will Walky screw this up? Let’s watch.
I woke up to see Billie in my bed. As many misunderstandings as possible is always better
Don’t forget to mention the lack of pants.
Maximum misunderstanding? That would probably be:
I slept with a hot asian chick last night. Now, I can’t get her out of my mind. I’ve known her for years, but, after last night… I just can’t stop thinking about her.
I really need to see her again!
I woke up right next to a cute, asian,well endowed, hung-over chick. Dang, I should’ve just called her Billie.
The line-break after “hung-” makes it parse as “Well endowed, hung.” Suggesting that Billie has a huge penis.
Perhaps someone viewed the majesty of the thing and decorated the Clark wing whiteboards with illustrations of it so that all might bask in its glory?
You miss the point: the social dilemma is whether or not you tell someone that you’re worried about your friend’s personal emotional stuff. Billie probably wouldn’t want Walky telling people. Even if you said “I need to check on Billie” for vague reasons, it’s still cause of alarm.
JoycexWalky friendship is my favorite thing
Walky just needs to make sure the cat didn’t tear up all his furniture.
Until/unless he gets oficially named, I’m gonna assume the guy at the far right of the first panel is me.
You are “IU Crowd Scene GEEK #12” ??
HE IS NOT A NUMBER, HE IS A FREE MAN
His number is not connected.
If a student tries to escape from Indiana University, do they get assaulted by a screaming weather balloon?
He takes regular pills and has to see the school infirmary because perscription drugs are reguarly banned on campus?
Also, can hipster guy in panel 2 get a name and backstory? I bet he’s a weed smoking, guitar playing TV Production major trying to create work to fight the system, man!
He doesn’t want one as backstories are sooo mainstream.
Creating work to fight the system with a television major? Hah!
He’s not a very good hipster…
Well, being a good hipster is soooo mainstream.
These DoA expressions will never get old, just like the characters themselves.
The best birth control requires the President to scan his handprint and enter an encrypted code that changes every 24 hours.
No wonder Dorothy wants to be President.
So what the is up with Walky anyway still shaken up about the Billie thing?
They did grow up together after all. Imagine if your sister was obviously hurting, and you couldn’t help.
This. Their relationship practically IS brother-and-sister. To the point where even SHE forgets she isn’t the Walkertons’ kid sometimes.
Emotional reactions in general are kind of a new thing for Walky. He doesn’t have them well calibrated yet.
Billie and Walky go way back, and Walky is a blunt guy who can be inconsiderate, but he isn’t heartless, especially given he doesn’t know if Ruth got through to Billie or not, assuming Billie didn’t text him or anything to let him know she was alright. It’s reasonable that Walky would want to know her wellbeing
Yes, but where is he going? They are leving the dorms.
They’re leaving the building where their math class is. Thisis after class and Walky’s headed back to the dorms.
I think Walky just said “Dorothy only takes it in the butt, Bob!”
I have seen pictures that show that’s not the case
This punch line is obviously a response to all the people who were predicting that Dorothy was going to get pregnant after WPAS isn’t it?
So we know they use condoms, and that Dotty is on birth control (per Willis’s comments), so there’s two layers. Does she take a Plan B afterwards too?
That would be a horrific way to live your life – Plan B each time you get laid?
I never said it was pleasant, just effective.
How many birth control methods could Dorothy use at once? Having consulted the Planned Parenthood website, about 7: implant, patch, pill, shot, cycle-counting, condom, spermicide. (It’s 8 if you think it’d be possible for her to have an IUD at 18/19, which I doubt. And I’d be awfully surprised if WPAS included her using any female condoms or the like, so I haven’t included that.)
Plus, she has Walky pull out and finish in one of Sierra’s shoes. That’s why Sierra goes barefoot all the time.
WINS THE THREAD!
The second judge agrees.
These days IUDs are actually recommended even for adolescents, so 8 is totally possible
Is there a way to view the alt text on an iPad? I always feel like I’m missing half the joke…
Yes.
There is a retina scan involved, though.
Yes – touch the blank area left of the “First”/right of the “Latest” button.
Currently they’re using a fingerprint scanner.
If Walky is a good student, maybe they’ll change that to a tongue print scanner
weird considering they already skipped to a phalic scanner… we’re still talking sex right?
Yeah, but that sensor wouldn’t be effective as he was wearing a condom
I don’t even want to imagine how long a pregnancy storyline would last, considering DoA’s pacing.
Considering the characters will never age, Dotty will likely never realize she was “late”. So if it floats your boat, she *is* pregnant, and just hasn’t found out yet.
That would eat up a few years seeing how they are in about a month or two after almost 4 years :p
I like the detail that Joyce and Walky tend to get lunch together after class. It keeps their arguments from feeling too mean-spirited.
They’re such odd friends, but it works for them.
Pregnant Dorothy is probably Joyce’s ultimate bittersweet nightmare. Less time with Dorothy yet the possibility of a tiny future president to hurl effection at, and still the very real probability that it would be half Walky! Spoooky stuff.
Given the scandals in American nuclear forces over the past year, Walky is not giving any reassurance here.
Everyone open their envelopes to set the PALs.
Ready?
:::: 0-0-0 ::::
No matter how many times I look at that last panel, I can’t help but see it as a panel from some cheesy action or sci-fi comic. “He’s not moving. What did you do, Walky?” “I did what I had to do.”
Would it have been a tad crass for Walky to say “up the bum means no babies” in response to Joyce?
It would give her something new to focus on, since she’s probably still trying to figure out the whole Ethan deal and the Unicorn headband!
Five minutes later, I bet Joyce would have bypassed the “shameful sin” stage and gone right to “picking out baby names and planning their wedding.”
Last panel Walky looks so much more mature than he usually does. Guess there’s hope for him yet.
I missed something. What is he in such a hurry to get where ever he’s going?
Last I knew, he left Billie with Ruth, so he has that more less under control. He was heading for class, and running late, so how would that be a problem to tell anyone?
Lastly, Dorothy is in class by now, so he wouldn’t be running to her to tell her what he just did….would he? Why would he do that? Not exactly something his GF wants to hear…ah say, I woke up in be next to Billie this morning???
Just leaving Billie with Ruth isn’t a guarantee that things turned out hunky-dory. After all, Ruth wasn’t exactly enthusiastic when Walky asked her to talk to Billie. And from being in similar situations, I assure you that the anticipation that something’s gone horribly wrong is enough to make you hurry on your way faster.
Dorothy would probably know Walky enough to know that it is far more likely they woke up next to each other due to some binge eating induced coma than sex. Walky is a lot of things, but he isn’t a philanderer, particularly with someone he has said is like a sister to him.
Agree, leaving Ruth with Billie is not guarantee, BUT Walky doesn’t know that. He has no idea of their relationship as it now stands.
He just did the only think the could think to do, that would in ordinary circumstances, be a good thing. He got the RA.
So, I’m still wondering why he just doesn’t say “I’m late for class”.
I think even Walky should know better than to “feed the Joyce”.
Walky’s next class is with Joyce. They get lunch together in between them, as the second panel reminds us. I am pretty sure “I am late for class” will not fly with her, for those important reasons.
Because she knows he doesn’t have class now. They usually go get lunch.
if he was going to feed the joyce, they’d get lunch, silly.
How do I access the alt text? I swear I’ve searched this site up and down but I couldn’t find anything so is it just some sort of running joke between people who know it really doesn’t exist?
Try looking at the source code.
If that doesn’t help, read the documentation and peruse the source again.
Move your mouse cursor over the image and wait a few seconds, or if you are on a touchscreen device, do this: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/check/#comment-245140
Sure, if you want to make it easy.
Am I the only one who thinks Joyce is adorable right now?
Joyce is pretty much always adorable unless something horrible is falling out of her mouth or she’s reacting violently to hanky-panky.
This.
(Also, the opportunity for icon triplets was too good to pass up.)
I miss Dorothy and Walky soooooo much<3
Walky, DON’T give people ideas. Seriously, don’t.
I’m half hoping that Walky manages to tell Joyce that he’s worried about Billie without mucking it up somehow, because I’m certain Joyce will come with to try and make her feel better. And what Billie needs is her friends right now, even if she thinks she doesn’t have any.
That’s the Dorothy we know and love. She doesn’t leave important things to chance and Amazi-condoms alone.
I bet Joyce is trying to figure out if “turning the keys” are some sort of hanky-panky euphemism and if she should be embarrassed.
For absolute birth control just do it in the ass.
I hate to burst your bubble, but that method ain’t aboslute.
For absolute birth control, move to another country and only communicate by carrier pigeon.
I heard there’s this thing called “homosexuality” that works
…unless you do it all wrong like AU Robin and Leslie…
If you let something that was in your ass get in your vagina you deserve to be pregnant from poor hygene alone.
When our daughters were growing up, Mrs. Animal’s late Grandmom (a self-described “tough old broad” who outlived five husbands) described the only sure-fire, 100% birth control method she knew of: “Take two aspirins, and hold them between your knees.”
With that said, I bet anyone here five bucks that Mrs. A and I have also achieved 100% prevention without the necessity of doing without.
I was helping my mother clean up my family’s section of a cemetery. I found a grave where the gravestone said “Survived five husbands”. I asked my dad about the woman. He said “I met her once. You know why the husbands all died? Because they wanted to”.
Regarding the simultaneous key-turn… Willis, you should NOT be deliberately invoking Rule 35 like that.
I thought both partners turning the key at the same time was the best way of finishing the process. That is what the youngsters are calling it nowadays, right?
Walky, you continue to be awesomely concerned about your friend’s wellbeing and the boundaries about telling people about it. Go you, Walky.
Hear, hear!
My mind skipped ahead of the punchline there.
“The only way her birth control methods could be more secure is if we both had two X chromosomes.”
Which would make him Sal. Which I’m sure is well-trod ground in the fanart community.
Wait… is a shaven version of the dude who tried to assault Joyce?