Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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hey remember that time i bragged to you about being in bed with a girl, well
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June 1, 2026

Wiggin’

by David M Willis on July 14, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit
└ Tags: jennifer, walky

Discussion (209) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. cmd1095
    cmd1095
    July 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    What is Billie doing in this bed!?!? SPEAK BILLIE!

    • coolhandluke
      coolhandluke
      July 14, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      the gravatar. too perfect

      • TrueVCU
        TrueVCU
        July 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Wiggin’ Out level: maximum

        • JessWitt
          JessWitt
          July 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          The telling sign is seeing the whites of his eyes.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            July 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

            Also seeing gums is never a good sign in a Willis comic.

        • etybolik
          etybolik
          July 14, 2014 at 5:39 am | #

          Wiggin’ Out level: Walky.

    • K. Ivan Ruppert
      K. Ivan Ruppert
      July 14, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

      “What is Billie doing in this bed!?!? SPEAK BILLIE!”
      Faking people out for a Slipshine comic that will never come.

      • TrueVCU
        TrueVCU
        July 14, 2014 at 8:50 pm | #

        It is the cruelest of teasers

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    July 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    so this is a habit then =I

    • Camachri
      Camachri
      July 14, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      By the sound of it, a habit that predates drinking. We’re seeing heretofore-undiscovered levels of Billie here!

  3. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    July 14, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Way to stay cool there, Walk.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      At least he’s staying cool. Others would be a tad shocked waking up next to Billie.

  4. Ivan
    Ivan
    July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    She’s Mad-a-tonic.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      I think she’s pining for the fjords….whatever that means.

      • Chris
        Chris
        July 14, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        Yeah, I’m starting to freak out a little that she hasn’t moved or blinked. But surely Willis wouldn’t…

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          July 14, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

          Maybe she saw an Angel.

          • Anarchy 101
            Anarchy 101
            July 14, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

            WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T BLINK!!

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              July 14, 2014 at 8:03 am | #

              She’s either so angry that she can’t speak, or else she’s mastered the technique of sleeping with her eyes open.

            • TJ Baltimore
              TJ Baltimore
              July 14, 2014 at 7:45 pm | #

              I just re-watched that yesterday!

          • Chris
            Chris
            July 14, 2014 at 10:45 am | #

            +1!
            Or I suppose she could be transfixed on that poster.

  5. Nono
    Nono
    July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    You mean stop Walky from Wiigiin’ out.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Damnit Nono.
      Beat me to it.

      • newllend
        newllend
        July 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        There’s always next year.

    • Ivan
      Ivan
      July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      or wigglin’ IN…

      • 4th Dimension
        4th Dimension
        July 14, 2014 at 4:47 am | #

        NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE . . .

      • Lord Geovanni
        Lord Geovanni
        July 14, 2014 at 6:09 pm | #

        mice seem to do that alot

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 14, 2014 at 8:04 am | #

      Better than stopping Wiggy from Walking out.

  6. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    AWKWARDNESS!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Awkward has become one of those words I started to hate over time cuz 90% of the time it’s used wrong and then even when it’s used right it’s overused because of that 90% of people using it wrong!!!

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        July 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        How ironic.

        (Yes, I did that on purpose)

        • Big Drahma
          Big Drahma
          July 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          Literally awkward.

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            July 14, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

            You won. Here’s your Internet.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          July 14, 2014 at 12:18 pm | #

          Don’t you think?

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 14, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        Yeah, awkward is like being the only guy in a class full of women or wearing a suit during Casual Fridays or eating in public during fasting month.

        • RAZ
          RAZ
          July 14, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          Which will get you a free trip around town

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            July 14, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

            Free trip? Usually, in my country, you get to ride on a van for that.

            • RAZ
              RAZ
              July 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

              the trip doesn’t have to be pleasant (it will however, be quite shameful)

              • Aizat
                Aizat
                July 14, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

                So does the van trip downtown.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        July 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        The company I keep doesn’t make that mistake. In exchange, some of them continuously fuck up the phrase “I couldn’t care less.”

        • Suitora
          Suitora
          July 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

          Well, “I could care less” is still correct. It comes from the phrase, “I could care less, but I don’t.”

          • Totoriter
            Totoriter
            July 14, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

            That’s not effective, though. If you say “I could care less, but I don’t,” you’re still saying that you care. Which defeats the purpose. So no, it’s not correct, unless you’re using it in a different context, in which case it’s not related to “couldn’t care less”.

            • 3oranges
              3oranges
              July 14, 2014 at 4:28 am | #

              Or unless it’s supposed to be sarcastic. Which it usually is.

              • Totoriter
                Totoriter
                July 14, 2014 at 8:52 pm | #

                Hmmm…saying it in a sarcastic tone just sounds stupid, in my opinion. It’s like a round about way of saying “pfft, yeah, I totally care.” if you’re speaking sarcastically. it’s just confusing and it makes you sound stupid to people who have good grammar and say “couldn’t care less”.

                • Robin
                  Robin
                  July 15, 2014 at 6:41 am | #

                  If “I could care less” would be a meaningful phrase, it would be an instance of understatement, and understatement and sarcasm don’t go together very well.

                  “I could care less” is nothing more than a corruption of “I couldn’t care less”. I think it will become one of those phrases that no-one knows what they mean or where they come from and people just use the phrase and understand each other, if it isn’t already. (Complete with false etymologies, like any good “stone phrase” (I can’t find the English translation of “versteende uitdrukking”, so a literal translation it is.))

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            July 14, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

            The full statement is correct, but that bastardized truncated version isn’t for people who aren’t aware of the history of that phrase…or Brits, if John Cleese and David Mitchell are to be taken seriously on the matter.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            July 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm | #

            I could care less, but it’s not worth the effort.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        July 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

        How about JARRING?

      • Camachri
        Camachri
        July 14, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

        The juxtaposition of proper-awkwardness vs actual awkwardness is an irony few can appreciate.

    • MarcinMN
      MarcinMN
      July 14, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      No problem. Just get some Old Tyme clothes (top hats, monocles, etc), dress up, and then the awkward zone is defeated.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        July 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        You forgot about the beer.

        • Catullus
          Catullus
          July 14, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

          I would guess Billie has the beer taken care of already.

    • TrueVCU
      TrueVCU
      July 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      Dorothy is nowhere to be seen.

      I assure you, the awkward has not yet BEGUN

  7. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Hope there weren’t any sleep hands going on.

  8. advancecasette
    advancecasette
    July 14, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    SAY WORDS, DAMN YOU

    • coolhandluke
      coolhandluke
      July 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      English. Do you speak it!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Elvish, motherfucker, do you speak it?

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          July 14, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

          Mani?

        • Jerden
          Jerden
          July 14, 2014 at 12:12 pm | #

          Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

      • sps48
        sps48
        July 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        What?

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          July 14, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

          SAY WHAT AGAIN! SAY WHAT AGAIN!

          • coolhandluke
            coolhandluke
            July 14, 2014 at 5:12 pm | #

            what?

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      Your creeping me out just buy just laying there.

      • JWLM
        JWLM
        July 14, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

        Well, actually, its you’re sells that are laying buy me.

        • Pantheon the Mantheon
          Pantheon the Mantheon
          July 14, 2014 at 2:28 am | #

          Well played.

  9. I don't know what to put here.
    I don't know what to put here.
    July 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    billie looks so cute

  10. Shade
    Shade
    July 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    This here is what we call ‘history’.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      July 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Yes Donner, this is history.

  11. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Reminds me of the Scrubs episode, where JD has just had awkward sex and tries to think of something to say that will diffuse the tension. He settles on “Great job, buddy!”

    • coolhandluke
      coolhandluke
      July 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      with the high five and everything

  12. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    July 14, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Documented evidence of waking up on the wrong or right side of the bed.

  13. newllend
    newllend
    July 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Wow Billie is really hung up on this, she’s not going to stop till we address this is she?

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      July 14, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

      That’s up the Willis.

  14. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    July 14, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Sooo, is Billie actually conscious? Is she sleeping with her eyes open?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      July 14, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      That or taxidermy was involved somehow.

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      July 14, 2014 at 6:02 am | #

      She’s a wizard!

      • TJ Baltimore
        TJ Baltimore
        July 14, 2014 at 7:47 pm | #

        Wizard did it!

  15. Camachri
    Camachri
    July 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Welp. Gangler wins the prize!

  16. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    July 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Billie, i know you’re sad. But this isn’t appropriate.
    Billie? Can you hear me? Oh, you can’t. You’re fictional.

    • isitsevenyet
      isitsevenyet
      July 14, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Ugh, right? I am internally yelling at her right now, “YOU DO NOT DO THIS TO SOMEONE WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE ELSE!” I just… I cringe to think of what might happen if Dorothy catches them like this (WHEN Dorothy catches them, knowing Willis…).

      • sps48
        sps48
        July 14, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

        Immediate confession would be called for,, because Mike knows.

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          July 14, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

          confession to what, sleeping in immediate proximity to each other?

          • Fit-to-freak
            Fit-to-freak
            July 14, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

            Seriously idk if its just my hippie college biasing me, but this is not the end of the world. The situation is intimate and embarrassing, but not inherently sexual. I’m guessing Billie needed platonic comfort and Walky was trying to provide that in his own weird way and they just fell asleep.

            • Annie
              Annie
              July 14, 2014 at 4:45 am | #

              Yeah, I agree. They’ve been friends since they were little. Walky was just one little constant part of all the other constants in her stable life before college. Now she feels like everything is changing and falling apart around her, that she can’t deal AND she’s still confused and heartbroken over Ruth.

              It makes sense that she would turn to one little beacon in college that’s the same as her old life. Even though Walky has a girlfriend now, and he’s growing up a bit, he’s still Walky. That part that makes him so Walky-y isn’t going anywhere. Right now Billie needs that Walky-ness because it’s the only constant she has left. It’s the last reminder of the life she had before when she felt really on top of things and completely 100% in control of her life.

              If I were in Dorothy’s shoes, I could understand that. I’m not sure I’d like it so much, but I’d just tell my jealous side the shut the fuck up at least until Billie feels better. Maybe just forever when it comes to her.
              Plus, it doesn’t look that bad. Walky was under the blankets, in pajamas, obviously surprised and confused. Billie is on top of the covers, fully dressed and curled up in a ball like she wants nothing more in the world than to just disappear. Anyone walking in would be able to see that this is not a sexy scene.

              • Knight
                Knight
                July 14, 2014 at 6:11 am | #

                Holy text wall Batman.

                • begbert2
                  begbert2
                  July 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm | #

                  After a certain reply depth, the reduced margins make any reply that is not just a handful of lines gigantic.

        • Em
          Em
          July 14, 2014 at 12:06 pm | #

          Mike is a dick, but in this universe, he seems to be a dick to get things moving, to help people. Even if it is in the worst way possible. I think Mike will keep it to himself, unless he thinks it’ll help to tell.

          • Jerden
            Jerden
            July 14, 2014 at 12:13 pm | #

            Or to annoy Joyce.

      • Fit-to-freak
        Fit-to-freak
        July 14, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

        I don’t think she did this to him exactly? Like right now I’m assuming she came over really upset/drunk and crashed in his room. Friends will do that- they probably just both fell asleep unintentionally. Shit happens.

      • Corey
        Corey
        July 14, 2014 at 1:17 am | #

        You mean when Amazi-Girl catches him. Remember, she’s heading to talk to Mike. And Amazi-Girl knows he’s supposed to be with Dorothy (chase scene). So there could be a confrontation about two-timing.

        • Kodra
          Kodra
          July 14, 2014 at 10:25 am | #

          Considering Amber knows who Mike is, and Mike knows who Amber is, and almost assuredly knows who Amazi-Girl is, I doubt Amazi-Girl is going to confront Mike right now.

  17. Aizat
    Aizat
    July 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    I think she’s stiff, bereft of life, she rests in peace! Her metabolic processes are now history! She’s off the twig! She’s kicked the bucket, she’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      July 14, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      this is an ex-billie!

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        July 14, 2014 at 5:28 am | #

        Well, better replace her then.

  18. spriteless
    spriteless
    July 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Hmm, so is this the only bed she feels safe in that isn’t stocked with booze?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 14, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Does that mean that everyone else’s bed is stocked with booze?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        July 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        You never heard of a firewater bed before?

        • RAZ
          RAZ
          July 14, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

          That sound flamable. No smoking in bed then

        • nekobawt
          nekobawt
          July 14, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

          is that a waterbed filled with whiskey?

          (and now i’m wondering if a waterbed filled with booze–boozebed?–has any difference in buoyancy from a waterbed filled with water.)

          • Random832
            Random832
            July 14, 2014 at 1:50 am | #

            Alcohol is lighter than water, so you would sink more.

            • Vex Godglove
              Vex Godglove
              July 14, 2014 at 3:12 am | #

              That would depend on how full you fill it. Air is lighter than water but you don’t necessarily sink more into an air mattress than a water bed. Actually you sink less in my experience.

              • Kelly
                Kelly
                July 14, 2014 at 6:09 am | #

                That is because you can compress air. Alcohol and water, as liquids, are largely incompressible.

            • Jerden
              Jerden
              July 14, 2014 at 12:17 pm | #

              This needs testing! For science!
              Sadly, I lack a water bed, not to mention the required volume of booze.
              I tried a quick Google search, but nobody seems to have tried this.
              Anyone?

              • Dana
                Dana
                July 14, 2014 at 3:23 pm | #

                Density= Mass/Volume
                Fix Volume at 1 L

                Density of tap water is 1001.74 g/L
                Density of 80 Proof Vodka is 940.03 g/L
                Density of Light beer 997.51 g/L

                Extrapolate a negative correlation between % alcohol and Density

                ie: more alcohol means a deeper sink into the bed.

                • Dana
                  Dana
                  July 14, 2014 at 3:25 pm | #

                  Sorry forgot to source my numbers:

                  http://www.aqua-calc.com/calculate/food-volume-to-weight

  19. coolhandluke
    coolhandluke
    July 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    wow billies really mad at that wall. stupid wall

    • Jerden
      Jerden
      July 14, 2014 at 12:18 pm | #

      Just standing there, all made of brick. Bastard.

      • coolhandluke
        coolhandluke
        July 14, 2014 at 11:35 pm | #

        Thinks it so hot with its plaster finish doesn’t it. Jerk

  20. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    July 14, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    “I’m sure by now you realized that me and Sal do have one thing in common about our sleeping habits…I mean luckily you caught me on a shirt night but as for the bottoms…

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      July 14, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Well, I hope she wouldn’t notice the early morning stand at attention.

      • Chris
        Chris
        July 14, 2014 at 7:27 am | #

        Somewhere in west Tennessee there is a subdivision called Morning Wood. Spelled out in big letters on brick walls at the entrance.

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          July 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

          Morning-ton Ascent?

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        July 14, 2014 at 8:50 am | #

        Not everyone has that problem.

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          July 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

          Not everyone calls that a problem.

          • coolhandluke
            coolhandluke
            July 14, 2014 at 11:39 pm | #

            clearly this Not Everyone should be looking for a solution to that problem

    • newllend
      newllend
      July 14, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      If it was me I wouldn’t count it as LUCKY!

  21. newllend
    newllend
    July 14, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    So he thought he was in bed last night with Dorothy right? They didn’t cuddle did they?

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      July 14, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

      My moneys on probably.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 14, 2014 at 8:28 am | #

        Why do you think Billie’s so pissed? She comes to him for comfort, but has to spend the night as Walky’s cuddle toy and unintentional Dorothy stand-in. She probably spent the night weeping, brooding, and pushing Walky’s hands away when they went to inappropriate places.

        The worst part is, this is a better night for her than being alone.

  22. lejwocky
    lejwocky
    July 14, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    My pet rabbit was named Miss Wiggins.
    Coincidence? Probably.

  23. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    July 14, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    They’re too clothed to have fucked. So, what happened then?

    • isitsevenyet
      isitsevenyet
      July 14, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      Everyone keeps saying this, but I can tell you, when you’re in a hurry, it’s quite easy to skip the whole “remove EVERY article of clothing” step. We can’t see below their waists so we don’t REALLY know for sure.

      That said, I highly doubt it, considering what Billie is brooding about. I really don’t think she’d be in the mood.

      • Rocketboy1313
        Rocketboy1313
        July 14, 2014 at 8:01 pm | #

        Nobody keeps their cloths even partially on in his porn comics. That is why I think that.

    • Camachri
      Camachri
      July 14, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      Basically, Billie went to walky for comfort. Sex wasn’t involved, it was more of a “I am having a bad day and I want to sleep in your bed, big brother” thing.

      • John
        John
        July 14, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

        Do you see any pants on? No? Well, the jury’s still out on whether they had sleepsex then.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 14, 2014 at 8:36 am | #

        It may not even be a comfort thing – Billie thinks Sal and Danny are hooking up in her room, and she’s being decent and letting them alone. Unfortunately, this leaves her bedless for the night, so she’s forced herself on Walky for sleep purposes. They’ve apparently done it before, as kids. It’s turning out to be much more awkward than she expected…

        • Robin
          Robin
          July 15, 2014 at 6:51 am | #

          Mannn, I just realised Billie is going to be extra pissed when she discovers Sal and Danny didn’t hook up.

  24. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    July 14, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    Someone called this exact scenario in yesterday’s comments, good job.

    I love how awkward Walky is here and I also love Billie just doing nothing, I can feel the tension in that bed from allll the way over here.

  25. Aizat
    Aizat
    July 14, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    Walky always has the best facial expressions, isn’t he?

  26. sylvester crow
    sylvester crow
    July 14, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

    Regret. Anger. Depression. All of these are the ingredients of the mixture that is billie’s face in today’s comic..wait til dorothy finds out!

    • nothri
      nothri
      July 14, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

      Regret. Anger. Depression. These were the ingredients chosen to make the mopey little Billie. But Professor Walkerton accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction….Chemical RUTH. Thus the Pouty Puff Girl was born! Using her ultra grumpy powers, Billie has dedicated her life to fighting nerds and the forces of sobriety!

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        July 14, 2014 at 1:22 am | #

        you dorks

        • nothri
          nothri
          July 14, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

          You are damned right sir! And by god, there’s nothing else I ever want to be.

          • 2K
            2K
            July 14, 2014 at 3:41 am | #

            Hey. Take it easy. Don´t worry. It´s monday.

            • Kelly
              Kelly
              July 14, 2014 at 6:11 am | #

              Well, I’m running down the road
              tryin’ to loosen my load
              I’ve got seven women on
              my mind,
              Four that wanna own me,
              Two that wanna stone me,
              One says she’s a friend of mine
              Take It easy, take it easy

        • sylvester crow
          sylvester crow
          July 14, 2014 at 11:28 am | #

          Damn straight.

      • Vree
        Vree
        July 14, 2014 at 10:37 am | #

        That…was awesome. You’re awesome.

      • gwalla
        gwalla
        July 14, 2014 at 1:27 pm | #

        Congratulations, you just won the comments. Tell ’em what they’ve won, Bob.

        You just won a brand new NOTHING!

  27. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    July 14, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

    I can’t decide if Walky is wearing a flesh-colored t-shirt, or if he has spontaneously developed strange skin flaps on his neck and arms.

  28. pendrake
    pendrake
    July 14, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    Walky is not wigging out. If you can be in angry retrospective mode, that is not wigging out.

    “Wigging out” is when you wake up next to someone you are not supposed to be waking up next to (or wholly not expecting to), giving a high-pitched yelp, scrambling roll over the side of the bed.

    Then finding out, too late, that you were both sleeping atop a bunk-bed, and slam body-flat on the floor below, THAT is moderately closer to “wigging out.”

    {Not that has ever happened to me…nope, nosiree…}

  29. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    July 14, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

    So, it is Mike and Walky’s room…Monkey Master poster on wall, Mike in room.

    So, it seems that Billie must have gone to his room and climbed into his bed. Comfort, not sex? Or drunk, and missed the room she wanted.

    So, then: why is she mad at Walky? He woke up out of a sound sleep, with a female in his bed whom he is assuming is his GF. Why is this outrageous?
    He calls her Dorothy, his GF’s, name.

    It is not Dorothy, but Billie. Only reason I can figure that she’d be pissed at him for calling her Dorothy is if they actually had sex and he knew he was having sex with Billie. The old, calling your partner the wrong name thing.

    Humm…is he a sleep sexer? Is there such a thing? 🙂

    • cmd1095
      cmd1095
      July 14, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

      I think she’s probably mad at herself about everything that’s been going on. Doesn’t help that the only person she had left to go to for comfort was Walky, someone who she repeatedly makes it clear she doesn’t really like and considers a dork. For someone who was so obsessed with popularity this must be a really low point for her, and she blames herself for every bit of it.

      I imagine that’s why she looks mad, not anything Walky did

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        July 14, 2014 at 8:39 am | #

        She may also be mad at Sal – after all, she’s why she had no other place to sleep last night.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        July 14, 2014 at 8:47 am | #

        O, she likes him, she can’t help it, but he’s just so far benieth where she sees herself.

  30. John
    John
    July 14, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

    Billie is pissed spontaneous lovemaking is not occurring.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      July 14, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

      in a world where “pissed” is synonymous with “furiously grateful”, sure

  31. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    July 14, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

    Billie’s angry she was rejected (again)

  32. John
    John
    July 14, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

    “our parents”.

    • nekobawt
      nekobawt
      July 14, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

      yeah, two sets of parents is still “parents”, grammatically.

      • nothri
        nothri
        July 14, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

        Well, remember that Billie claims to have been basically raised by the Walkerton household.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          July 14, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

          But Walky doesn’t think in those terms.

      • John
        John
        July 14, 2014 at 1:14 pm | #

        Bettin’ the Billingsworths were not involved in, or even informed about, this decision in any way.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      July 14, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

      Yes, both sets.

    • Guest_This
      Guest_This
      July 14, 2014 at 9:44 pm | #

      He’s talking about his and Sal’s parents, not him and Billie. Hence why he stated that when he was 9, they stopped sharing a bed, you know … like siblings sometimes do when they’re kids? Not Billie’s parents, just him and his sister. It’s not that hard to figure out in context.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        July 14, 2014 at 9:54 pm | #

        No, he’s talking about both their sets of parents.

  33. nekobawt
    nekobawt
    July 14, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

    “hey, feel free to contribute to this conversation at any point. just, jump right in.”

  34. RAZ
    RAZ
    July 14, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

    Tapping her hand did not produce any observable reaction. He should continue tapping other body parts to see if she react to outside stimulus.

    • SuperActionJackson
      SuperActionJackson
      July 14, 2014 at 2:07 am | #

      Of course with that gravitar

  35. nothri
    nothri
    July 14, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

    Okay, that’s it. I’m sick of waiting in drydock while patently impossible ships like this one get to tool around the seas like they might actually go somewhere.

    Therefore I am taking command of the USS BillieRuth immediately. This is a full scale mutiny. Those that are down with the ship can stay onboard. Those who are not are getting fed to the sharks. Come! Join me for a life of piracy, high seas adventures, and a cargo hold brimming with booze!
    We sail tonight for Singapore! Don’t fall asleep while your ashore. Cross your heart and hope to die. When you hear the children cry! Take your blankets from the floor! Wash your mouth out by the door.

    Heave away boys.

    • nothri
      nothri
      July 14, 2014 at 1:29 am | #

      First one to get the reference will be my first mate.

      • Tenn
        Tenn
        July 14, 2014 at 5:33 pm | #

        That kind of promise should not be made lightly around these parts.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      July 14, 2014 at 1:35 am | #

      The USS BillieRuth may come under fire if it strays out of harbor.

      • nothri
        nothri
        July 14, 2014 at 1:48 am | #

        Oh surely. But this is a blockade we can run! So man the helm, raise shields, and prep the warp drive on my mark.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          July 14, 2014 at 2:09 am | #

          http://tinyurl.com/godownwithship

          • Bill
            Bill
            July 14, 2014 at 12:01 pm | #

            You should have used the Edmund Fitzgerald.  After all, it left from your home town on its final voyage.

            • gwalla
              gwalla
              July 14, 2014 at 1:29 pm | #

              Capsule City?

              • Bill
                Bill
                July 14, 2014 at 2:45 pm | #

                Nope, here.
                The Fitz took her last load from the dock closest to the camera.

                • gwalla
                  gwalla
                  July 14, 2014 at 6:26 pm | #

                  Well, you did tell Mr. Satan that it left from his hometown.

                • Bill
                  Bill
                  July 14, 2014 at 6:58 pm | #

                  I was replying to the person, not the avatar.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          July 14, 2014 at 2:26 am | #

          Do your best, ’cause I’m gonna nuke it from orbit.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            July 14, 2014 at 6:36 am | #

            Shields and warp drives mean Star Trek, so a nuke isn’t likely to be effective 😛

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              July 14, 2014 at 8:45 am | #

              Shields have limits. And Star Trek means every hit makes shit explode.

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                July 14, 2014 at 2:20 pm | #

                Well, no, the set only rumbles when it hits the shields. Once the shields are down, an actual HIT makes shit explode, though.

                • timemonkey
                  timemonkey
                  July 14, 2014 at 3:27 pm | #

                  Nope consoles will be exploding and taking out extras with each hit. Losing the shields just causes the main characters to get their hair mussed up. Of course the ship may be understaffed so the injuries may be more severe.

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  July 16, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

                  I sometimes regret knowing so many trekkies, because your version is so much more fun.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          July 14, 2014 at 2:23 pm | #

          And ready the crew to repel boarders.

    • OsoPescado
      OsoPescado
      July 14, 2014 at 3:37 am | #

      (coughTomWaitsCoughhack)

      • nothri
        nothri
        July 15, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

        Congrats, Number 1. You have the bridge. I’ll be in my ready room.

  36. Flight03
    Flight03
    July 14, 2014 at 1:50 am | #

    I have a feeling they did do SOMETHING and Mike played a huge role in making it happen.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      July 14, 2014 at 8:31 pm | #

      Walky would remember. People don’t actually generally forget sex unless they’re really drunk, and Walky probably doesn’t drink, certainly has never been shown drunk, and isn’t hung over at all.

      They didn’t do anything, he doesn’t -think- they did anything, he’s just confused and terrified by the fact that she’s there at all.

  37. SuperActionJackson
    SuperActionJackson
    July 14, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

    Billie drew the dicks on the door. Calling it.

  38. Golli
    Golli
    July 14, 2014 at 2:15 am | #

    Billie thought that Sal is having booty call sex with Danny so she couldnt go back to her room. She went to Walky.

    • Bill
      Bill
      July 14, 2014 at 12:10 pm | #

      Sal is having booty call sex with Danny??
      Sal has shown exactly zero interest in Danny for anything other than the power cord for his “video game thing”; she even took time to gratuitously slam him for being so slow on one of the stages.  Doesn’t sound like anything leading to booty-call time to me.

      • AHA
        AHA
        July 14, 2014 at 12:40 pm | #

        That’s what Bille thought.

      • Tenn
        Tenn
        July 14, 2014 at 5:24 pm | #

        Relevant. 😛

  39. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    July 14, 2014 at 2:16 am | #

    This won’t end well

  40. OsoPescado
    OsoPescado
    July 14, 2014 at 4:10 am | #

    Long ago, the Dorothy and Walkie lived together in (sexy) harmony. Then everything changed when the Billie nation attacked. Only the Mikeatar, witness to the preceding events, could exonerate them. But when Walky needed him most, he vanished…..

    Hilarity ensues.

    Or painful breakup…

  41. Annie
    Annie
    July 14, 2014 at 4:48 am | #

    I feel so bad for Billie. Even with her saying nothing, and even if I just push all the crap she’s going through out of my mind. Just the image of her in these past two strips is upsetting. She looks so sad, and angry and just broken. Makes me want to reach through the strip and hug her.

    • Thomas
      Thomas
      July 14, 2014 at 6:41 am | #

      This. Billie needs a hug, but she’s not going to ask for it. She has to stay to tough or she will break down.

  42. Soap
    Soap
    July 14, 2014 at 7:03 am | #

    I think this is cute

  43. Whittier
    Whittier
    July 14, 2014 at 7:05 am | #

    Hee, Walky’s embarrassed about his morning wood. Don’t blame him.

  44. thegeeknerd
    thegeeknerd
    July 14, 2014 at 7:08 am | #

    Billie’s expression ever so slightly softens in the 4th panel.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      July 14, 2014 at 8:26 pm | #

      Really think that’s just random inconsistencies between the two drawings.

  45. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    July 14, 2014 at 8:47 am | #

    Is that what you see? Her pupil-dots actually get smaller in the 4th panel – in the Willis-verses, this usually means rage. Otherwise, panels 2 and 4 are almost identical.

  46. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    July 14, 2014 at 9:06 am | #

    So can Walky say that he’s bedded two girls now?

  47. Swerve
    Swerve
    July 14, 2014 at 9:55 am | #

    …keeps wiggin’ the slag out! Whoa, I think I just blinked back into reality! Hey, are Walky and Billie sharing a bed? Wow, this sort of wacky misunderstanding is just like on “Three’s Company”!

    And another thing…

  48. Just Me
    Just Me
    July 14, 2014 at 10:18 am | #

    Billie knows she is in Walky’s bed, and she knows Walky is uncomfortable, and she hears him trying to talk to her, and she just doesn’t give a damn.

    I think she’s suicidal.

  49. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    July 14, 2014 at 10:22 am | #

    I would squeeze the hell out of her.

  50. Vree
    Vree
    July 14, 2014 at 10:38 am | #

    We know you totally tsundere friendshipping these two David.

    I do too.

  51. gwalla
    gwalla
    July 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm | #

    Don’t you mean wiigiing out?

    *eyebrow waggle*

  52. hof1991
    hof1991
    July 14, 2014 at 1:47 pm | #

    I know it’s only been a few minutes, but why is Walky still in bed? Wouldn’t step one be to get a little distance from the problem of waking up with a non-girl friend? Plus hanging around in bed with Billie can’t end well.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      July 14, 2014 at 3:25 pm | #

      He’s blocked in by Billie.

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        July 14, 2014 at 3:29 pm | #

        how

        • cdot
          cdot
          July 14, 2014 at 6:16 pm | #

          THE SAME WAY SNORLAX BLOCKS YOUR PATH IN POKEMON

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            July 14, 2014 at 11:28 pm | #

            *applause*

          • Robin
            Robin
            July 15, 2014 at 6:54 am | #

            That just raises more questions.

    • Just Me
      Just Me
      July 14, 2014 at 4:40 pm | #

      Maybe Walky sleeps Commando? He’s hiding something under the blanket.

  53. Clif
    Clif
    July 14, 2014 at 1:54 pm | #

    If Billie was upset and depressed enough to spend the night in Walkie’s bed she was probably upset and depressed enough to express herself by decorating white boards. Not a sure thing tho.

  54. Tenn
    Tenn
    July 14, 2014 at 6:19 pm | #

    OT, writing this here ‘cuz I don’t have Tumblr.

    David,

    First: Seeing random people on Tumblr paint you as an MRA is a bit infuriating but mostly the most hilarious damn thing I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.

    Second: The fact that you even entertained the notion that you might’ve done something wrong, that it might’ve been anything other than a big misinterpretation of a thing taken out of context, speaks volumes about your greatness.

    Third: You are getting help with that depression, right?

  55. MacBone
    MacBone
    July 14, 2014 at 9:14 pm | #

    We love you, Willis! =)

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