Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 18, 2026

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by David M Willis on February 17, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Three's a Crowd
└ Tags: dorothy, ethan, joyce, walky

Discussion (353) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Camachri
    Camachri
    February 17, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    One day, Joyce is gonna look back and be all “Wow, I was a total hanky-panky wit.”

    • Twilightomens
      Twilightomens
      February 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Yah, an’ then she’s gonna write comics about it.

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        And porn.

      • cesium133
        cesium133
        February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        Then she’ll start writing porn comics and become known as the Pornlady.

        • Lord Geovanni
          Lord Geovanni
          February 17, 2015 at 3:31 am | #

          Porn Lord’s main lady companion

        • Robert Chapman
          Robert Chapman
          February 17, 2015 at 11:28 pm | #

          Well, Joyce -is- supposed to be biographical… 😉

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          February 18, 2015 at 9:40 am | #

          We’ve been over this before – a female Pornlord is called a ‘Phallady’.

      • Solenoid
        Solenoid
        February 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        The audience in the topmost metalayer will lose patience when the main character of the 5th metalayer starts making comics.

        By which I mean, that’s about when I’d lose patience here in reality.

        • Charlotte
          Charlotte
          February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

          You think you’re the top layer. That’s adorable.

          • Solenoid
            Solenoid
            February 17, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

            I’m talking layers of fiction, not layers of simulation. If I learned that it was possible to simulate universes, and it was in fact happening, then I’d hesitantly rethink my default assumption that this is reality.

            • Rycan
              Rycan
              February 17, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

              We are simulating a universe, one which we lovingly call the Dumbingverse. I’m sure the denizens approve of their name.

              • 6Qubed
                6Qubed
                February 17, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

                In the comic: Joyce is attempting to rectify the cognitive dissonance of having a gay best friend who’s parents want to “fix” her, and a gay boyfriend who she was trying to help “fix” up until just recently.

                In the comments: THE METALAYERS OF THE UNIVERSE ARE IN CONFLICT

                • Rycan
                  Rycan
                  February 17, 2015 at 9:20 pm | #

                  Theoretical physicists got nothing on us!

              • BMunro
                BMunro
                February 17, 2015 at 1:49 am | #

                An undeveloped simulation. None of the characters have developed enough self-awareness to try breaking out yet.

                • Lawzlo
                  Lawzlo
                  February 17, 2015 at 2:21 am | #

                  Well, at least one character is beginning to suspect that he exists in a work of fiction:

                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/jumpcut/

                • No Name
                  No Name
                  February 17, 2015 at 4:45 am | #

                  Oh lord. That second panel. When did the Ryan incident happen?

                • Crazy Dina
                  Crazy Dina
                  February 17, 2015 at 10:35 pm | #

                  Holey shoot! Take that guy in the last panel, and change his skin tone! Does he not look like an older Historical Jesus?

            • motorfirebox
              motorfirebox
              February 17, 2015 at 4:07 am | #

              Actually, there’s a pretty good chance that this universe is, in fact, a simulation. The basic argument is that as computing power increases, it becomes more and more possible to simulate a full universe at extremely high fidelity. It’s sort of a Boltzmann Brain theory writ large, only with an upper layer or layers of reality taking the place of a formless thermodynamic soup.

              Related to this is the idea that at some point, if you go small enough, the simulation won’t be able to maintain fidelity. The same way that if you look closely enough at a computer screen, you can see the pixels. Right now, the Fermi National Accelerator Lab is conducting a set of experiments intended to suss out any such ‘pixelation’ in our universe.

              • 00A86B-FF00FF-FFFFFF`
                00A86B-FF00FF-FFFFFF`
                February 17, 2015 at 6:45 am | #

                That’s true, but to our understanding there’s a limit to data compression, like the universe is very big which makes it difficult to simulate, sure, but more importantly, every single tiny point of that universe is occupying a set of distinct states. In other words, as far as we currently believe, the smallest possible way to represent the universe is the universe itself.

                Of course like you said the universe might not be as high fidelity as we think, or the place we’re being simulated in might have much better information density, but it’s kinda a stumbling block for these kinds of theory.

              • Yet_One_More_Idiot
                Yet_One_More_Idiot
                February 17, 2015 at 7:34 am | #

                I like to think that this universe is in fact just a simulation, how many layers down it may be. And that one day, somehow, I will find the cheat codes for this simulation… 😀

                • Screwball
                  Screwball
                  February 17, 2015 at 6:34 pm | #

                  Hoverboards & infinite ammo weapons, here we come… 😛

                • Yet_One_More_Idiot
                  Yet_One_More_Idiot
                  February 17, 2015 at 8:27 pm | #

                  IDDQD, IDKFA, send me in now! 😛

                • Screwball
                  Screwball
                  February 17, 2015 at 9:08 pm | #

                  DNStuff – Fully loaded with everything.
                  DNKroz – God Mode activated.

                  Guess who got introduced to Duke Nukem 3D PC version… 😛

                • Crazy Dina
                  Crazy Dina
                  February 17, 2015 at 10:38 pm | #

                  Who says it’s just ONE simulation though? I mean, if you had a good enough connection between machines, a person could theoretically send something from one to another without realizing it, given that thing had a small enough file-size.

                • Yet_One_More_Idiot
                  Yet_One_More_Idiot
                  February 18, 2015 at 5:21 am | #

                  I only quoted the Doom cheats because they’re more famous than the Quake cheats (which I personally used way more often):

                  God – Full health, invincible to everything
                  Impulsee 255 – Fully loaded, all weapons all ammo all keys

            • MindLink
              MindLink
              February 17, 2015 at 3:18 pm | #

              How would one be able to tell if this is a work of fiction or reality though ? It could be just a VERY verbose piece of fiction with a lot of internal dialoges.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

          They will be called “Recursing of Age” and “Packedception!”

        • -Sentinel-
          -Sentinel-
          February 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

          Given how many years it took and will still take to get to the 2nd metalayer, the 5th isn’t for anytime soon.

          • Adam Black
            Adam Black
            February 17, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

            Well we are on Author Avatar number 4

          • Adam Black
            Adam Black
            February 17, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

            When you count The David Willis Character in Hijinx Ensue who draws Dumbing of Age, I think we have arrived at Meta#5

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 17, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

          At the pace this comic moves, you certainly won’t be alive by then (but Willis’s soul will be sustained within a powerful machine).

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            February 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

            As soon as the technology becomes available, he’s having his brain put in a Hot Shot replica.

            • StClair
              StClair
              February 17, 2015 at 1:36 am | #

              suspended in JaAm

            • Regalli
              Regalli
              February 17, 2015 at 1:57 am | #

              Wait, I thought he was going to put his wife in the Hot Shot replica and himself in some other robot’s so he could have sex with Hot Shot.

              Or will they both be Hot Shot?

              • Regalli
                Regalli
                February 17, 2015 at 1:58 am | #

                AND WHO WILL BE SG RAVAGE AND RATBAT?

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                February 17, 2015 at 2:01 am | #

                We will all be Hot Shot. It will be glorious.

                • Doctor_Lantern
                  Doctor_Lantern
                  February 17, 2015 at 2:13 am | #

                  ONE OF US!

                • Screwball
                  Screwball
                  February 17, 2015 at 7:52 pm | #

                  Daniel the Human & his sister tend to prefer Hotrod from G1 over Hotshot apparently, now they’ve told me about this stuff. Me, I’ll just stay me! I’m already an awesome Transformer… 😛

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            February 17, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

            Aw crap, does this mean that Willis will become Skynet?

          • Doctor_Lantern
            Doctor_Lantern
            February 17, 2015 at 2:12 am | #

            Willis’s soul is actually sustained by the outcrying of frustrated/saddened readers of his comic. For every “Damn you, Willis!” he actually gains another week of life. By now he is nigh on immortal.

            • No Name
              No Name
              February 17, 2015 at 6:51 am | #

              His soul maybe, but what about his body? Hmmmmm? How’s he gonna sustain himself when he can’t draw?

              • Rycan
                Rycan
                February 17, 2015 at 11:11 am | #

                The Cheese, obviously.

              • Doctor_Lantern
                Doctor_Lantern
                February 17, 2015 at 8:29 pm | #

                His soul will be uploaded into a kickass Hot Shot Transformer body.

        • LiaHansen
          LiaHansen
          February 17, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

          you mean that you can tell your -4th metalayer counterpart has just lost patience?

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          February 17, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

          So… What layer are we on as forum writers?

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            February 17, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

            Clearly the insane one.

      • Rowen Morland
        Rowen Morland
        February 17, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        Is the main character of the comic going to be David Willis?

        Jeph Jacques will be the Danny.

        • caesaria82
          caesaria82
          February 17, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

          I can ship this.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            February 17, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

            “OH NO I CAUGHT THE BUTT DISEASE”
            “Cool story bro”
            “Bro, Bro, Bro”
            “Shut up!”

            • caesaria82
              caesaria82
              February 17, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

              The best fanfic (and/or porn, which is not always mutually exclusive) starts like this, with people who call each other ‘bro’ and end up having sex under the bleachers somewhere and/or adopt a litter of kittens, depending on fic rating xD

        • Doctor_Lantern
          Doctor_Lantern
          February 17, 2015 at 2:14 am | #

          Ehhh, I’d read and leave comments on the forum…

        • MiaKitty
          MiaKitty
          February 17, 2015 at 2:41 am | #

          This is my favorite comment I have seen for this webcomic to date. I applaude you.

          • singingdavid
            singingdavid
            February 17, 2015 at 6:14 pm | #

            WAIT THIS IS A FORUM

    • Hoboturtle
      Hoboturtle
      February 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Wait… is “fuck wit” a common phrase? I never heard that one

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        February 17, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

        It is a common UK and Ozzie usage, yes. Not so much here in the colonies.

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 17, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

          You do find dimwit here, though.

          • No Name
            No Name
            February 17, 2015 at 6:51 am | #

            Also “nitwit”

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 9:53 am | #

              I encounter fuckwit a bit more commonly than dimwit and nitwit. I live in New Jersey. Maybe it’s regional.

              • No Name
                No Name
                February 17, 2015 at 10:20 am | #

                The question is, do Hoosiers use it?

                • Incomitatus
                  Incomitatus
                  February 17, 2015 at 7:14 pm | #

                  Yes, we do. Even Hoosier ex-pats like myself.

              • The E-man
                The E-man
                February 17, 2015 at 4:08 pm | #

                Also from New Jersey, also heard it more commonly than dimwit and nitwit. Maybe we just like cursing more?

      • jesslin
        jesslin
        February 17, 2015 at 11:36 am | #

        Depends on your community, I guess. We use “fuckwit” a LOT in my circle of friends, because ‘dimwit’ and its derivatives just aren’t strong enough :/

    • Baggy
      Baggy
      February 17, 2015 at 5:45 am | #

      One does not simply comment before Jen aside

    • singingdavid
      singingdavid
      February 17, 2015 at 6:11 pm | #

      GAYBY GAYBY GAYBY!!!!!

    • Aisling
      Aisling
      June 9, 2015 at 10:34 pm | #

      Yep and them she will get depressed about missing all the fun stuff as a kid, like dancing and dates, but at least she had the universiy to help her and didn’t have to work it out on her own… ¬_¬

  2. Maveric1984
    Maveric1984
    February 17, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Run free Ethan! Be free and multiply!

    • The Kojie
      The Kojie
      February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY!

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        February 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        But the super-soaker is in the other universe…

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 17, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

          And it doesn’t solve the lack of a womb.

          • LiaHansen
            LiaHansen
            February 17, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

            http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/

            no prob

            • MichaelHaneline
              MichaelHaneline
              February 17, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

              Ethan is going to impregnate Arnold Schwarzenegger?

              • LiaHansen
                LiaHansen
                February 17, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

                Hell nah, Danny DeVito’s gonna impregnate Ethan!

                • 6Qubed
                  6Qubed
                  February 17, 2015 at 1:49 am | #

                  Insert “egg in trying time” joke here.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Your next class is math, right?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Ethan: “How am I supposed to do that?”

      Joyce: “Don’t you just teach the gay agenda in public schools?”

      Ethan: “Joyce, I think you still have a ways to go on this enlightenment thing.”

      • Tualha
        Tualha
        February 17, 2015 at 6:25 am | #

        Years later:

        “Joyce, this is my partner Josh. We want to have a kid, and we’d like you to be the surrogate.”

        “Gasp! Turkey baster hanky-panky!”

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 9:54 am | #

          W…with Joyce’s own sibling!?

          • No Name
            No Name
            February 17, 2015 at 10:19 am | #

            “Josh” is a pretty common name.
            Also, her name is Jocelyn. Her fundie parents saddled her with “Joshua”.

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 10:41 am | #

              The only people allowed to have the same name in this story are the Rachels though.

              On a more serious not, Jocelyn probably hasn’t undergone a legal name change yet. Until that happens, Jocelyn’s documents, driver’s license and so on will still identify her as Joshua.

              • ditrysia
                ditrysia
                February 17, 2015 at 12:08 pm | #

                Yeah, but if you’re a decent person you’d still call her Jocelyn for everyday conversation. Especially if you’re introducing her. Especially if you’re dating her.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              February 17, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

              Not to play fundie’s advocate, but it’s not like they’re aware of their daughter’s true gender identity. They’re just acting under the assumption that Jocelyne is their son, rather than their daughter.

          • Tualha
            Tualha
            February 17, 2015 at 10:41 am | #

            Oh eek! I’d forgotten that character’s given name. I just picked a name at random.

  3. rezby
    rezby
    February 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    So now the question is will Dorothy still be mad when she finds out about all this or will she be understanding?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      February 17, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

      The suggestion that Dorothy might be mad about Ethan rather than sympathetic came from Sarah. Mayyyyybe not the best judge of character.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 17, 2015 at 6:59 am | #

        Dorothy would likely have been upset had she found out during, when Joyce would be willing to argue while it’s the right thing. But now she knows better and is fixing things so it’s not really worth getting upset over.

    • Jason
      Jason
      February 17, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

      A related question is when/whether Dorothy finds out…it might not be right now.

      • No Name
        No Name
        February 17, 2015 at 4:51 am | #

        I’m sure she’s already figured it out. The “Best Friend’s Best Friend” thing was a little blatant.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

      There’s a chance she’s understanding, given Joyce’s actions just now.

  4. TheTJ
    TheTJ
    February 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    At last, Walky has arrived to silly this up a bit!

  5. Nono
    Nono
    February 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Man, Dorothy’s a slow runner. Wasn’t she in track and field?

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      February 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Maybe they were distracted by all the Ryan clones.

      • John
        John
        February 17, 2015 at 11:43 pm | #

        I’m imagining them having to stop every three steps to knock Ryans down with a baseball bat, Double Dragon-style.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      She needed to let the guy whose diet is 80% McNugget by volume keep up.

      • TheTJ
        TheTJ
        February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        Nah, it dropped down to 60%, they dropped the 50 McNugget deal.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          February 17, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

          Tell New York City last weekend that!: https://41.media.tumblr.com/850e1c25509b426ba8cbac8724dbcace/tumblr_njwjf1XvLy1sm8ur3o1_540.jpg

          • Solenoid
            Solenoid
            February 17, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

            Aaaand, I should have refreshed the page before I posted the comment just below this. Now my foolishness is on display.

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 9:58 am | #

              Yeah, I was wondering what was up with the 50-McNugget boxes in Dumbing of Age until that point. Now New York City is compatible with David Walkerton’s diet!

              I like McNuggets quite a lot, but I don’t trust myself to NOT eat the whole damn box in one sitting, so I don’t think I’ll be buying a 50-box anytime soon.

          • Heimdallw32
            Heimdallw32
            February 17, 2015 at 7:39 pm | #

            Oh god, 470 calories per serving? And Walky mows down whole boxes of those multiple times in the couple of weeks he’s been at college?

            • Solenoid
              Solenoid
              February 17, 2015 at 11:50 pm | #

              Not sure how he burns all that energy. Performing Multiple Sexes a day? =S

        • Solenoid
          Solenoid
          February 17, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

          See Willis’s Twitter feed. Apparently, the 50 McNugget deal lives.

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            February 17, 2015 at 10:00 am | #

            In the New York City area, at least. (David Willis is/was hanging out here for the Toy Fair.) The 50-nugget deal only popped up here very recently.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              February 17, 2015 at 3:13 pm | #

              Maybe the deal follows Willis around the country as he makes con appearances?

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      She didn’t have an adrenaline infusion from thinking she’s running through a forests of rapists.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      She doesn’t have the running shoes equipped.

      • Nono
        Nono
        February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

        She was probably just stuck in HGSS mentality where you could set them on auto. But then she moved onto the next generation where you have to hold B to run.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          February 17, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

          And she hasn’t made it to the bike shop yet.

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            February 17, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

            And don’t even get us STARTED on the roller skates.

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 10:01 am | #

              Ah, the skates.

              BE FREE FROM THE BONDS OF THE GRID

              AND THEN CRASH INTO THINGS BECAUSE THE GRID WILL STILL FIND WAYS TO MOCK YOU

    • No Name
      No Name
      February 17, 2015 at 6:54 am | #

      No, it was Amber who was in track and field. Dorothy was “only” in cross country. She can run, but she can’t jump’n’run.

    • showler
      showler
      February 17, 2015 at 9:55 am | #

      Is it me, or are Dorothy and Walky approaching from the opposite direction that Joyce did? Looks like they are coming from the same direction Ethan came from.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        February 17, 2015 at 10:04 am | #

        I looked over the last few pages and you seem to be right.

        Though maybe Joyce took a circuitous, zigzagging path to dodge her imagined Ryans.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 9:42 pm | #

          Ah… now that I think of it, maybe it’s one of those “acceptable losses” to maintain an intuitive left-to-right viewing order. Action in comics needs to flow in the same direction as the audience’s reading order (left-to-right for us, right-to-left for certain other regions) to keep the reader’s eyes on an unbroken path. Notice when Joyce is sprinting, she is specifically sprinting to the right— in the direction of the next panel. The following pages require Joyce to still be on the left as well: when she tries to walk away from Ethan and is daunted by the imagined Ryans, you’re meant to see Joyce first and Ethan picking up her books second.

          As for today? Dorothy and Walky are supposed to be the last thing that the audience sees, perhaps arriving just after Joyce finishes speaking, thus they are to the farthest right.

    • Airyu
      Airyu
      February 17, 2015 at 10:03 am | #

      At least she and Walky look adorable and tiny. What if the whole comic was tiny far away people?

  6. Solenoid
    Solenoid
    February 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Still doing the Baywatch run, I see. Talking really is a free action.

    • TheTJ
      TheTJ
      February 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Yeah, but most DMs pull out an egg timer when you go past 2 minutes.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        February 17, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

        Unless it’s an SLP talking. Then there is nothing to do but let the monologue wash over you.

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      February 17, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      Joyce might just be really, really fast.

    • No Name
      No Name
      February 17, 2015 at 6:57 am | #

      Dorothy only caught sight of her when Joyce ran into Ethan. Considering the fact that we can’t see the building, I’d say there was a considerable distance between them.

  7. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    February 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    I think Joyce may be leaning on the fourth wall a bit with her last line.

    • Mara
      Mara
      February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      I think it’s more along the lines of self-awareness.

  8. nothri
    nothri
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Awww.

  9. Dean
    Dean
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Joyce, one the update installs, just restart your system.

    Also, I’m starting to worry about Jen Aside.

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Did somebody pull her aside?

      • John
        John
        February 17, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

        Perhaps she’s getting some side action.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        February 17, 2015 at 1:22 am | #

        She (?) hasn’t left a comment in 2 days that I have noticed. Some of us here are worried she (?) may be dead. Or something. Hopefully it’s something rather than dead, but still worried.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          February 17, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

          http://www.itswalky.com/comic/straighten-your-bed/#comment-390464

          relax

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            February 18, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

            =/

            sheesh, I had an assignment

            [I had to prove a point–it was horrible]

            • Crazy Dina
              Crazy Dina
              February 18, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

              Oooh, what point?

              • Jen Aside
                Jen Aside
                February 19, 2015 at 7:34 pm | #

                50SOG is verifiably a piece of shit

                [“You haven’t read the book! You can’t talk about it!” …well, I haven’t had polio, either, but I know it’s pretty bad stuff]

  10. Kris
    Kris
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    When she said “your own kind” she meant Transformers fans.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Can this be the continuity where Ethan and Duncan finally hook up?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Oh fuck. Ninja’d! By a wide margin.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        February 17, 2015 at 2:04 am | #

        Hey! You’re here! 😀

        Hadn’t seen you in a while and was beginning to get worried.

        • No Name
          No Name
          February 17, 2015 at 4:56 am | #

          He showed up yesterday, having repented for his sins and ready to perpetrate new ones.

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      February 17, 2015 at 8:02 pm | #

      YESSSS, come worship us, for we are awesome… 8D

  11. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Great now what?

    • Em
      Em
      February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Now she talks to Walky and Dorothy about what’s going on.

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        February 17, 2015 at 10:04 am | #

        And they locate Becky and for an actually plan rather than “gee I hope my folks don’t find out!”

  12. Em
    Em
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    If this wasn’t so sad I would be laughing my ass off right now.

  13. Rycan
    Rycan
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Maybe, just maybe, Joyce begins to realize that Becky isn’t the only one here whose life has been upended by homophobia.

  14. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    You guys are the slowest fucking runners

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      February 17, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      I still believe they took an extra lap to be out of earshot during the most embarrassing parts of the breakup.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

        They took a page out of Jocelyn’s playbook, and hid behind the fountain (now watch someone point out that the fountain is on the other side of campus or something).

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          February 17, 2015 at 1:54 am | #

          There are trees. There are lamp posts. There are plenty of things to hide behind while Joyce and Ethan’s attention is elsewhere.

    • Airyu
      Airyu
      February 17, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

      I’m assuming it took them a little bit to leave the classroom in the first place. Plus, Dorothy waited a little bit for Walky; he left after her.

      • Freemage
        Freemage
        February 17, 2015 at 5:12 pm | #

        Also, don’t forget–Joyce was running blindly. In my headcanon, Dorothy and Walky had to keep stopping to help out the injured non-Ryans whom Joyce trampled getting to her safe zone (ie, one yard or less away from Ethan).

  15. Dusk Tornado
    Dusk Tornado
    February 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I wonder if someday Joyce is going to talk without saying something awkward or silly

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      It will take many years of training

    • Twilightomens
      Twilightomens
      February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      I wonder that about myself sometimes, too.
      Often, actually.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Implying any human is capable of such a feat!

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Ask Willis.

      • Dusk Tornado
        Dusk Tornado
        February 17, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

        In the name of all that has been damned I summon Willis

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          February 17, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          You need to sacrifice three monster tokens in order for the ritual summon to work.

          • Dusk Tornado
            Dusk Tornado
            February 17, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

            Only got two. Damn you Willis

  16. Well_Played
    Well_Played
    February 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    “Oh, Ethan, My Poor Gay Baby…” why did I read that line in a southern accent.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      February 17, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

      …and now I hear Applejack saying that.
      (in a fanfic near you)

      • Khyrin
        Khyrin
        February 17, 2015 at 7:40 am | #

        …
        I’d read it.

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        February 17, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

        I love this.

    • Garrett
      Garrett
      February 17, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

      “Sweet Baby Jesus” is my southern PG explicative

  17. Darth
    Darth
    February 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    It is alright to use gay baby if you are talking about gay baby jail.

    • Airyu
      Airyu
      February 17, 2015 at 10:07 am | #

      I got my friend the Gay Baby Jail shirt off of Human.com and it was the best purchase ever. https://twitter.com/petstains/status/555921811071045632/photo/1

      • Airyu
        Airyu
        February 17, 2015 at 10:08 am | #

        whoops, sorry, it’s ” http://www.lookhuman.com/ ” not human.com

  18. Solenoid
    Solenoid
    February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Now that I think about it, Dorothy and Walky showing up right about now is perfect. The “you won’t make it home without me” thing will be made irrelevant. So long as they don’t flip a wig over the sham of a relationship that just ended.

    • Airyu
      Airyu
      February 17, 2015 at 10:09 am | #

      Flip a wig? Amber/Amazi-Girl isn’t around…

  19. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan’s own kind? Transformers fans? That’s clearly what she meant.

  20. Jon Rich
    Jon Rich
    February 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    It says something that Willis has so many people just eagerly waiting for midnight to roll around.

  21. The Thing
    The Thing
    February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    I am completely and totally not jealous of Joyce in the fourth panel.

    Not at all…

    I’ll be in my bunk. Again.

    • DuckDuckMoose
      DuckDuckMoose
      February 17, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      Aw, Benjy, you just need to meet the right rock pile. There’s someone out there who thinks you’re a regular Gibraltar.

      … Also, could you keep the volume down a bit in there? The noise is like three avalanches happening all at once.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 12:50 am | #

        Actually, I think he set off three avalanches just now…

      • The Thing
        The Thing
        February 17, 2015 at 5:24 pm | #

        Now I want to be having foreplay with someone, throw them into a sexing position, and yell “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!”

        I don’t care if I get kicked out. It will be glorious.

  22. Regalli
    Regalli
    February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Aww, friendship. And aww, Joyce is trying. Clueless, but trying.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      February 17, 2015 at 2:06 am | #

      And sometimes she’s very trying.

      • The Thing
        The Thing
        February 17, 2015 at 5:24 pm | #

        5 minutes in the Punelty Box.

  23. Vivvav
    Vivvav
    February 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Now Ethan is free to pursue… Um…

    Shit, Ethan’s the only gay dude in the comic, isn’t he?

    • Nono
      Nono
      February 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      There’s… Arnold?

      If you’re extending it to bi dudes, Ken and Danny. And Drew, but he hasn’t made an appearance (yet).

      • Jason
        Jason
        February 17, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

        I think when you saw Ken and Arnold in that single strip, you may have jumped to some false conclusions.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          February 17, 2015 at 8:22 am | #

          Or at least not-yet-supported conclusions.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Far as we know, but he’s not the only guy who’s into guys.

      Of course, the other one we know about’s in a relationship, and still hasn’t figured out his sexuality, but…hey.

    • Boomwolf
      Boomwolf
      February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Danny is still trying to make heads or tails of that for himself.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      February 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Danny: Still bi bi bi. Still coming to terms with this fact.

      Also there are certainly some minor background characters who are probably gay and male. And I think Faz is “whatever can stand to have sex with Faz”sexual.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        February 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        I got the impression that Faz is like 15 in this continuity.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          February 17, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

          Like that makes a difference in “whatever can stand to have sex with a Faz”sexuals?

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            February 17, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

            Yeah, I’m not saying Ethan would be remotely attracted to him, because Faz, I’m saying his sexuality may also include dudes. May.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            February 17, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

            Well, it makes it less “Faz is a creep” and more “Dude, Faz is way too young”

            • Rycan
              Rycan
              February 17, 2015 at 12:48 am | #

              But not too young in the Glorious Mind of The Faz

            • Regalli
              Regalli
              February 17, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

              Also true, Faz is probably not planning on doing the sex any time soon.

              Or at least he shouldn’t be.

              Eugh, Faz.

              • John
                John
                February 17, 2015 at 2:10 am | #

                Pretty sure he is. Also pretty sure any such plans are wildly optimistic.

                • Solenoid
                  Solenoid
                  February 17, 2015 at 7:24 pm | #

                  As though Faz would be anything but unrealistically optimistic.

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 17, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

          Faz has always been younger than Amber, I think.

        • Gangler
          Gangler
          February 17, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

          I was thinking he was a full blown child child. Young enough that he’s more curious about sexuality than he is genuinely interested in women.

    • TheTJ
      TheTJ
      February 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Well, there’s always sort of Danny.

      Of course, with Amber involved that’ll be one of the more awkward Love Triangles I’ve seen.

      • GoogerGeiger
        GoogerGeiger
        February 17, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

        I could see some kind of fucked up “It’s okay if Amber finds out. I just need to make sure I keep it secret from Amazi-Girl” shit happening.

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 17, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

          I don’t think Danny is that dumb…

          • John
            John
            February 17, 2015 at 1:13 am | #

            Also, he’s gone straight from thinking Amber and Amazi-Girl are different people to thinking they’re the same person without stopping at the reality in between.

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 11:01 am | #

              Even Amber/Amazi-Girl isn’t quite sure what the reality is, sometimes.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      February 17, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

      There is also Faz and Mike

  24. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    February 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    I really liked Joyce in that last panel, that was just so freaking honest. I lol’ed at her, but only because I was so happy to see her grow as human being.

  25. TacosForever
    TacosForever
    February 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    I’m impressed with Joyce not for any other reason, but because she can call someone “my poor gay baby” with a straight face.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Which is just like saying “My poor straight baby” with a gay face.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        February 17, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

        Allow me to present you with this miniaturized Internet…

        • tyersome
          tyersome
          February 17, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

          … so that would be a micronet?

          Welcome back Yotomoe!

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            February 17, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

            aww thanks. You’re gonna make me blush.
            I came back for all you cool guys hee hee

      • Doctor_Lantern
        Doctor_Lantern
        February 17, 2015 at 2:22 am | #

        And you win Comment of the Week… And it is only Tuesday…

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 17, 2015 at 6:51 am | #

        And let’s not forget the bi faces, they deserve to be included as well.

        • Solenoid
          Solenoid
          February 17, 2015 at 7:26 pm | #

          Who you callin’ two faced?

  26. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    February 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    That is totally gaybies.

    Gaybies Siegal.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      February 17, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

      Fuck yeah
      Gaybies

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        February 17, 2015 at 1:27 am | #

        Damn, I couldn’t find the link. And I have the book.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 9:26 am | #

          For that particular instance, the key is to remember the “Your Song” bookends to that particular chapter– it starts with those words coming from a phone, and ends with those same words being spoken into that same phone (along with Fuck Yeah Gaybies).

          So “gaybies” is at the very end of the chapter, meaning the fastest way to find it is to go to the chapter list in the Archive page, click the chapter AFTER “Your Song” (the first page of “Steaming You Up”), and then hit the “previous comic” button a few times until you find it (twice, in this case).

    • Thor
      Thor
      February 17, 2015 at 2:22 am | #

      Dammit. I missed this, and now I look like a wannabe waaay down the page.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      February 17, 2015 at 3:16 pm | #

      I thought it was Gaybies McIntyre.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        February 18, 2015 at 7:44 pm | #

        No no, it’s Babies McIntyre, but Gaybies Siegal.

  27. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    February 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Better to have the gay talk with Becky, Ethan. It’ll blow your eardrums.

  28. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    I… I got nothing. The kids are communicating so well on their own. And looki – Ethan can finally talk to someone about being gay who doesn’t jell at him, and who he hasn’t asked to help him suppress it (if only there were some other nice boys in among his friends who desperately need someone to talk about this sort of things with, hint hint).

    Run Dorothy, Run Walky. Those stairs are no match for you!

    • tyersome
      tyersome
      February 17, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

      Even more surprising, no one has expressed violent hatred for any characters 😉

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

        On the contrary, half the fandom has been calling for my gruesome death (the other half just don’t want to see me again, ever).

        …oh wait, wrong Ryan. Guess I don’t have to hatch my elaborate scheme to land myself in the Witness Protection Program.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          February 17, 2015 at 11:05 am | #

          That will teach you a lesson for multiplying and wandering around campus with a scar…. oh, wrong Ryan. Sorry.

          I agree. The lack of cries for bloody murder in the comment section (with the already mentioned, commonly agreed upon exception) is a nice change of pace. I really expected the breakup between Joyce and Ethan to be at least as polarizing as the whole thing with Roz. I’m glad I was wrong.

          • No Name
            No Name
            February 17, 2015 at 12:08 pm | #

            I think it’s because the Roz thing was so polarizing that this isn’t. As much as so many people had a problem with Roz (so much so that we have to say “bongo” now), she had a point and Joyce realized it. When she explained, sure Ethan protested a bit (for which he got a little flak) but he picked up her books and helped her anyway. Both sides are right and, more importantly, both sides are friendly to each other.

            • Crazy Dina
              Crazy Dina
              February 17, 2015 at 9:48 pm | #

              HEY! I like the bongos.

  29. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    February 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    Re: alt text, there’s a movie called Gayby. It’s very cute. It’s about a gay guy and his straight female bff deciding to have a baby together. It’s cute and happy-endings-y (they both find love & still raise the baby as a big family together), so basically what I’m saying is… Joyce & Ethan Gayby AU fic. It needs to happen xD

    • Halloween Jack
      Halloween Jack
      February 17, 2015 at 11:16 am | #

      Oo-oo-oo, gayby gayby

  30. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    February 17, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

    I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON. OR RATHER, GAY EX BOYFRIEND.
    I need to watch Heathers again.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      Do you ever get the distinct feeling that you’re missing important context?

      • rachel
        rachel
        February 17, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

        watch Heathers my friend and all will be made clear

      • Tualha
        Tualha
        February 17, 2015 at 6:33 am | #

        OMG YOU’VE NEVER SEEN HEATHERS

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          February 17, 2015 at 10:52 am | #

          I get that a lot with movies. I get the impression that there’s a playlist of movies that everyone must watch before they die, and my copy got lost in the mail.

  31. Imperator
    Imperator
    February 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    As I often tell my friends, let’s get garried and have gaybies.

  32. Crazy Dina
    Crazy Dina
    February 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    Que building climbing due to real Ryan showing up.
    Que Walkie quitting.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      February 17, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

      Cue, not the Spanish word for “what”. I keep expecting to see that spelled ¿Que?

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

        Plus, que is pronounced ‘kay’, which makes it even more confusing.

        • Crazy Dina
          Crazy Dina
          February 17, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

          #spellingfail #AtLeastItsAConfusingWord!

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            February 17, 2015 at 9:30 am | #

            You might be thinking of “queue,” which means something else but is pronounced the same as “cue” because English doesn’t make a damn bit of sense half the time.

            • Rycan
              Rycan
              February 17, 2015 at 10:50 am | #

              Except a queue is a line, as in ‘standing in line’.

              • Gigafreak
                Gigafreak
                February 17, 2015 at 11:04 am | #

                Yes, that’s what I meant when I said it “means something else.”

                • Rycan
                  Rycan
                  February 17, 2015 at 11:41 am | #

                  *looks dumb*

                • Crazy Dina
                  Crazy Dina
                  February 17, 2015 at 11:48 am | #

                  *thinks there are way too many ways of spelling the same pronunciation*

            • Tenn
              Tenn
              February 17, 2015 at 5:40 pm | #

              “Queue” is English looking defiantly at French and saying “Well look at this! I can use shitloads of unnecessary letters too!”

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          February 17, 2015 at 1:20 am | #

          I’ve always heard it pronounced as “keh”

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            February 17, 2015 at 3:23 am | #

            That’s how it’s pronounced by us native speakers.

      • neeks
        neeks
        February 17, 2015 at 5:02 am | #

        I always thought it was “queue” for some reason

        • No Name
          No Name
          February 17, 2015 at 5:22 am | #

          The words aren’t unrelated; there is some evidence that “cue” as in “enter into play” or “begin <performance>” started as an alternate spelling for “queue” as in “line of people”, mostly in, where else, theatrical scripts. It becomes more plausible when you realize why queues are usually formed.

  33. buckybone
    buckybone
    February 17, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

    Oh my god…Joyce is growing up!

  34. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    February 17, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    Has anyone cracked the ceremonial champagne bottle against the EthanxDanny ship yet?

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      February 17, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      The good ship Ethanny has long ago set sail. That beautiful, beautiful ship.

    • John
      John
      February 17, 2015 at 1:15 am | #

      I’m holding out for EthanxDannyxAmber.

      • The Thing
        The Thing
        February 17, 2015 at 3:15 am | #

        I need this for reasons.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          February 17, 2015 at 6:44 am | #

          Hope you don’t actually need it, ’cause the odds are real damned low.

          • The Thing
            The Thing
            February 17, 2015 at 12:55 pm | #

            I CAN DREAM, HAROLD

  35. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    February 17, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

    Also yes, the slow-mo running in the background totally cracks me up, too. I can really hear the Baywatch music in my head lol.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      February 17, 2015 at 2:18 am | #

      Lol; my generation will forever hear the “TSH-tsh-tsh-tsh!” of the Six Million Dollar Man. 😀

  36. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 17, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    Oh, and Ethan, I KNOW you want to postpone the Gay-talk until later, but I had hoped that Joyce just demonstrated that it is not always an option, and not always a good idea.

  37. Bilal Kalyal
    Bilal Kalyal
    February 17, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

    Dorothy and Walky simply try to run in to the last panel thinking, “Okay, before she says something REALLY stupid, lets jump in.”

  38. DuckDuckMoose
    DuckDuckMoose
    February 17, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

    So… what are the odds that Becky has found the newspaper office and made sweet love with Daisy while Joyce is all dealin’ with drama and stuff? ‘Cause poor Daisy is terribly sex-starved based on everything we’ve been shown so far, and she could probably show Becky some really good moves.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      February 17, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      All completely offscreen. Joyce will find Becky strolling along the road with disheveled clothing and a stupid grin.

      “What have you been up to?” Joyce asks.
      “Journalism” Becky answers, and that will be everything that is ever said on the topic.

      That would be epic level trolling.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

        Dorothy then says hello to her editor, who is walking by in a trance.

      • DuckDuckMoose
        DuckDuckMoose
        February 17, 2015 at 1:06 am | #

        Advanced journalism. Deep, deep background, if you know what I mean. Maybe even changing the font on her masthead. Ooh la la.

        Ugh, I know too many bad journalism innuendoes. I worked at my college paper for two years, and my co-copy editor was this guy, a gay man as it happened, who laughed like a hyena at every single terrible joke I made. I might once have had a moment of impulsive raunchiness and said something to him about “giving good head… lines.” I’m not proud of myself for that, but he did fall out of his chair, so.

        • Crazy Dina
          Crazy Dina
          February 17, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

          Oh god! That must have changed his toner.

        • Tualha
          Tualha
          February 17, 2015 at 6:35 am | #

          Good thing he didn’t slug you 🙂

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 17, 2015 at 6:42 am | #

        Like Becky would ever be that subtle.
        Joyce: Hey Becky, what’ve you been up to?
        Becky: SCISSORING!!!!!

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          February 17, 2015 at 8:29 am | #

          Joe: NOW we’re talking

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            February 17, 2015 at 9:33 am | #

            Joe-rnalism!

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            February 17, 2015 at 11:40 am | #

            He would show up as soon as the word was uttered, wouldn’t he?

        • Crazy Dina
          Crazy Dina
          February 17, 2015 at 7:12 pm | #

          Becky: Oh… DEMONSTRATION TIME!!!!!!!!

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      Thank you for helping us a better ending than Daddy Dearest showing up.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

        Imagine – helping us imagine a better ending

      • DuckDuckMoose
        DuckDuckMoose
        February 17, 2015 at 12:48 am | #

        Least I could do. It’s probably too optimistic to expect him to take the “Hell with her, I have no daughter” path, buuuuut a guy can hope.

  39. Arianod
    Arianod
    February 17, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

    Yes. Dorothy and Walky are just in time. Group hug NOW!

  40. advancecasette
    advancecasette
    February 17, 2015 at 12:57 am | #

    heh, I remember saying poor gay baby a while back at a certain cucumber quest update

  41. rachel
    rachel
    February 17, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

    gayby is the Best portmanteau <3<3<3

  42. ShaggyDonahugh
    ShaggyDonahugh
    February 17, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

    Well, Joyce is awesome. That is all.

  43. Ashley
    Ashley
    February 17, 2015 at 1:16 am | #

    One of the two at some point needs to use the phrase “let’s be friends”.
    I get that Joyce feels like she can’t have two gay friends to support but I’m hoping in the future she realizes that having a gay friend doesn’t mean carrying a burden.

  44. Piemanpie24
    Piemanpie24
    February 17, 2015 at 1:20 am | #

    Dammit Willis. I’m drunk and sad and gay and this is making me cry. So…
    Idk, fuck you? Also, I love you?
    I’m conflicted

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      February 17, 2015 at 2:21 am | #

      The accepted phrase is “DAMN YOU WILLIS”. Also, aww. Sorry to hear that (at least about the sad part).

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      February 17, 2015 at 5:13 pm | #

      I wanted to make a “but gay is the opposite of sad” joke but that is a tiny bit gay-erasure-ish and that happens entirely too commonly so now I feel a little bad about it.

    • The Thing
      The Thing
      February 17, 2015 at 5:38 pm | #

      Drunk, sad and gay is no way to go through life, son.

      [+1 if you get the reference.]

  45. RED
    RED
    February 17, 2015 at 1:31 am | #

    Oh look, character fucking development done right!

    • No Name
      No Name
      February 17, 2015 at 5:08 am | #

      Actually, this is just regular character development. The other kind can only happen during sex.

      • Yet Another Laura H.
        Yet Another Laura H.
        February 17, 2015 at 6:45 pm | #

        The seminar on Character Fucking Development in Webcomics will be held in the Des Plaines conference room at 2:20. Panelists: Mike, your mom. A materials fee of a nickel will be charged. No flash photography.

  46. zmm
    zmm
    February 17, 2015 at 1:32 am | #

    Still love Joyce. She’s a good character over all.

  47. Aeron
    Aeron
    February 17, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

    The Great Gayby

  48. Chengrel
    Chengrel
    February 17, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

    I remember when I was first infected with gabies. It stared a long journey down the rabbit hole of queerness of which there is no returning.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 2:01 am | #

      Sounds lethal – half of that portmanteau is a terrifying killer of a disease.

      • Chengrel
        Chengrel
        February 17, 2015 at 3:24 am | #

        Once you get past the first few days, it becomes more of a tickle every now and then.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 9:38 am | #

          Generally it’s your enemies that are the ones foaming at the mouth though

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            February 17, 2015 at 11:22 am | #

            And you’re sure they aren’t the ones with the disease?

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 5:14 pm | #

              They certainly are sure about that!

  49. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    February 17, 2015 at 1:58 am | #

    Lots of topics said in the thread.

    Yeah that last panel is about the best one I’ve seen of Joyce. Actually both Ethan and Joyce are pretty cool in that last panel. Joyce is finally seeing that Ethan has reason to be afraid to come out.

    And for once, I don’t think Ethan is postponing the ‘talk’ because can’t do it, but because he really doesn’t want the audience fast approaching.

    About Faz, he is old enough to do it -he works full time in Shortpacked, so he is no kid. Hell, he was probably born ready.

    As far as any hating going on:
    Faz has taken his share, but more along the hate that you feel when you step on a slug.
    Mary is high on the hate list.
    Ryan is way up there.
    Ambers bastard father is at the top I think.
    Roz ain’t too popular right now.
    Mike has his moments.

    Great character development. I love this entire strip. My favorite fictional characters to get all involved with.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 2:02 am | #

      Everyone’s several years older in Shortpacked! (not to mention in a different universe)

    • Trolldrool
      Trolldrool
      February 17, 2015 at 2:40 am | #

      Don’t forget Ethan’s mother, Naomi. We don’t see her very often, but with this new progression in the story, I think a phone call cameo might be imminent.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 17, 2015 at 6:38 am | #

        Joyce calls Ethan’s mom and lectures her o acceptance!

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 9:41 am | #

          Ethan’s mom barely even views Joyce as a person. It’s not likely that she’d be willing to listen.

          • Solenoid
            Solenoid
            February 17, 2015 at 7:33 pm | #

            The hate list goes in descending order:

            Ryan and Blaine (tied), Ross, Naomi, Mary.

            The rest changes too easily with additional information for me to want to pin down.

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      February 17, 2015 at 5:40 pm | #

      Hm… If I had to rank the Scale of Hate, from ‘some contempt to be had’ to ‘nuke it from orbit’:

      Danny & Joe both have a contingent of fans and a similar group of detractors. They aren’t actively hated so much as frustrating. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sarah ends up in this category too.

      Actual Mike-hate is fairly rare (though it’s out there), but people who hate on other characters in the strip are often pointed to balance their reaction to that other character vs. their tolerance (or even approval) of Mike’s often deliberate cruelty.

      Roz is very controversial as a character–she’s either loved or loathed by very vocal segments of the community. In this list, she’s like Dan or Joe–but with a lot more intensity both ways.

      Faz is actively despised, but I agree with the ‘stepped on a slug’ interpretation. He is just strongly distasteful. He’s still the first of the folks that just has no supporters.

      Joyce’s parents, Ethan’s mom (at least), Joe’s dad, the Walkerton parents–all of these folks would be welcome, I think, to never make an appearance again. Though a strip with all of them forced to deal with each other might be amusing, just because of all the awkwardness and suffering it would cause. Of this tier, I do think “You fuck her; you fuck her GOOD” (quote pulled from faulty memory) made Naomi the most despised.

      Mary is probably the most despised of the hall folks. She’s worked hard for that position, so let’s just give it to her. If Roz gets a redemption arc, I suspect it will feature her trashing some blackmail scheme of Mary’s.

      Then we have the true rage-inducers, the folks that it’s easy to be glad when they get beaten, stabbed or hospitalized. Yes, at the top of the douchecanoe pyramid, it’s Blaine and Ryan! All in favor of stripping them both naked, shackling them to each other, and then dipping the whole package in a vat of superglue, so they have to spend the rest of eternity in one another’s company, say “Aye”.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 9:44 pm | #

        So long as we aren’t actually lynching anybody…

        Honestly, Blaine needs some serious help with his anger issues. Till then, he’s a danger to all around him. He won’t be redeemed, just safer.
        Ryan the Rapist needs to be convicted and locked up.

  50. Doctor_Lantern
    Doctor_Lantern
    February 17, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

    At least Joyce admits she unintentionally says some offensive things. Character growth is a wonderful thing.

    • LTBlue15
      LTBlue15
      February 17, 2015 at 8:17 am | #

      Thanks! Yeah I see myself there all the time. Never was a fundie, my family taught us early not to hate people and a few friends of the family are gay. There is still a disapproving attitude that is not brought up in front of others though, and it doesn’t leave easily.
      I have supported a friend coming out but had trouble saying what I meant.
      I know it was harder for him though by a million miles.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      February 17, 2015 at 11:24 am | #

      She already learned earlier in the story, particularly at parents’ visit day.

      Compare this early Joyce with Joyce on parents’ visit day.

      As she seems slightly annoyed about her mom only talking about her roomies’ race, she must have remembered that she did a similar thing not too long ago.

  51. Thor
    Thor
    February 17, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

    This is totally gaybies.

  52. MiaKitty
    MiaKitty
    February 17, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

    Joyce is legitimately adorable in today’s strip and I love it.

  53. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    February 17, 2015 at 3:22 am | #

    I hereby move that all gay couples now be officially required to call their partner “gayby” as a term of endearment. XD

  54. skdk
    skdk
    February 17, 2015 at 3:51 am | #

    i want ethan to be straight ;-;
    not cause i ship him with joyce, i hate joyce. cause i love him ;-; and im a girl ;-;-;-;

  55. Masterofbones
    Masterofbones
    February 17, 2015 at 4:09 am | #

    One day Joyce will learn that it is possible to be friends with a guy without intending to marry them. Today is apparently not that day.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      February 17, 2015 at 9:12 am | #

      To be fair, a lot of hetero guys have a similar problem being friends with girls without hoping to eventually bang them. Thankfully, Ethan is able to do that!

      …Though now he’s having problems being friends with GUYS without hoping to bang them (see most of this interactions with Danny and Jacob), so maybe he’s not THAT good at it?

      • No Name
        No Name
        February 17, 2015 at 10:09 am | #

        In Jacob’s case, I think it’s more fearing to bang him.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 11:15 am | #

          It can be both! “Hoping to bang, while also fearing to bang” describes Joyce’s (former) relationship with Ethan as well.

  56. Chris
    Chris
    February 17, 2015 at 5:08 am | #

    What it turns out that Joyce is also gay? Then she can still be with Ethan.

    • No Name
      No Name
      February 17, 2015 at 5:11 am | #

      We’ve already established, heartbreakingly, that Joyce isn’t gay.

    • Smiling Cat
      Smiling Cat
      February 17, 2015 at 8:00 am | #

      Umm… what?

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        February 17, 2015 at 9:09 am | #

        “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      February 17, 2015 at 10:43 am | #

      Because that is exactly how homosexuality works.
      Time to talk about the gay birds and the lesbian bees!

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        February 17, 2015 at 10:58 am | #

        …Both common things in nature, incidentally

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 11:17 am | #

          The gay early bird gets the hermaphroditic worm

  57. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    February 17, 2015 at 6:05 am | #

    Nobody’s said it?
    Fine.

    GAYBAE.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      February 17, 2015 at 9:42 am | #

      Oh gods we don’t need to taint the word “gay” any more than it already has been

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        February 17, 2015 at 10:47 am | #

        ha ha ha taint

        • Halloween Jack
          Halloween Jack
          February 17, 2015 at 11:17 am | #

          ‘Taint nothin’ wrong with it!

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          February 17, 2015 at 11:21 am | #

          We can totally taint the hell out of the word “taint!” Jolly old Taint Dickolas will pay the naughty boys and girls a visit on the night of Fistmas Eve.

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            February 17, 2015 at 11:25 am | #

            …remind me to never ask you if you can taint a word.

          • Halloween Jack
            Halloween Jack
            February 17, 2015 at 4:30 pm | #

            Sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away…

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        February 17, 2015 at 10:57 am | #

        I’m a bit confused about the word bae, I find it in a lot of context and can’t figure out if it means a fond “sweetheart” or a demeaning “baby” or something else entirely. Can a native speaker please enlighten me?

        • Kitty
          Kitty
          February 17, 2015 at 1:50 pm | #

          Technically it’s supposed to stand for “before anyone else,” as in the person who is most special to you, but it’s more commonly used as shorthand for boyfriend or as a shortened version of “babe.”

          Also I seriously don’t get the hate for it. It’s a harmless word that people enjoy using and allows you to greet your SO by saying, “Hey, bae.”

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            February 17, 2015 at 3:36 pm | #

            Thanks, then I get it better. That sounds cute. There is hate for that word? Why on earth? Is it regarded as to childish or something?

            • Gigafreak
              Gigafreak
              February 17, 2015 at 5:20 pm | #

              I’ve mostly seen it used by idiots. Maybe the idiot-stigma rubbed off on the term. Y’know, akin to how “swag” was a classy abbreviation for “swagger” until idiots got ahold of the word.

  58. Skai Cyan
    Skai Cyan
    February 17, 2015 at 7:03 am | #

    I just found this comic, what three days ago?, and I’ve shotgunned all of it. Amazing work sir, I love each and every character (except the obvious parents) and will be reading this faithfully every Thursday (can’t stand reading one page a day :p). Probably gonna have to buy the books when my income tax hits too. Keep up the amazing work.

    • Halloween Jack
      Halloween Jack
      February 17, 2015 at 4:41 pm | #

      One of us!

      P.S. Becky is best character.

  59. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    February 17, 2015 at 7:16 am | #

    Joyce is gonna become the campus fag hag and it will be glorious.

    • Ghola
      Ghola
      February 17, 2015 at 10:54 am | #

      She’ll collect them like cats, demanding they all live in her room to protect them..

      kidding aside, i’m enjoying her new self awareness. and eagerly awaiting the next one in line to have their belief system shattered.. I’m hoping for Roz or Jason.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        February 17, 2015 at 11:22 am | #

        “She’ll collect them like cats, demanding they all live in her room to protect them…”
        What manner of haggotry is going on here

        • Ghola
          Ghola
          February 17, 2015 at 11:50 am | #

          The kind that results in babushka wearing and pushing a trolley.

  60. LTBlue15
    LTBlue15
    February 17, 2015 at 8:11 am | #

    I don’t think Joyce was ever one to use slurs in the first place. Nor stand with a picket sign shouting people down. She’s more the person who would have you in her company and simply say things making you uncomfortable the whole time thinking it will help you “change”. Not a good thing by any measure but I doubt she would have kicked her own son or daughter out either, it would have gone much the same way as here. I suppose she is supposed to be the fundie that we can still like, but she fails at being fundie at that point.

    Some people here don’t seem to ever have encountered true fundies.

    They are a pain in everyones behind.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      February 17, 2015 at 9:06 am | #

      Well, using slurs out of ignorance isn’t out of the question. I mean, the guys who defend the name “Redskins” still seem to honestly believe it’s not a slur.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      February 17, 2015 at 11:33 am | #

      Never feel comfortable in the presence of a person who has chick tracts at their disposal!

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        February 17, 2015 at 11:35 am | #

        In her shoe!

  61. The Wizard
    The Wizard
    February 17, 2015 at 8:45 am | #

    One of you,
    One of you!

  62. k
    k
    February 17, 2015 at 9:08 am | #

    A GayBy is when someone gays near you and then suddenly gays away really fast.
    Hopefully you don’t get gunned down by gayngsters in the process.

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      February 17, 2015 at 7:43 pm | #

      … gayngbangers.

  63. Spencer
    Spencer
    February 17, 2015 at 10:00 am | #

    Weren’t Dorothy and Walky following Joyce? How’d they end up behind Ethan?

    Did it take so long to reach them because they took the long way around?

    • No Name
      No Name
      February 17, 2015 at 10:08 am | #

      I think Joyce and Ethan got turned around during there hug. Or at least, that’s what I think Willis will rationalize it with.

    • Psi-Baka-Onna
      Psi-Baka-Onna
      February 17, 2015 at 10:30 am | #

      Either Joyce ran up the stairs, turned left and bumped into Ethan during the speed panel or Dorothy and Walky got lost and are approaching from a different direction. Either way, the backgrounds are all consistent with what we’ve seen so far in this scene so…*shrugs*

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        February 17, 2015 at 11:23 am | #

        Dorothy and Walky spotted Joyce the moment they stopped outside. I think Joyce just zigzagged around a few imagined Ryans to get where she is, whereas Dorothy and Walky could take a more direct path.

  64. Crazy Dina
    Crazy Dina
    February 17, 2015 at 10:44 am | #

    Willis, why doesn’t your thumbnail for http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/expecting/ show Ruth’s brother saying “Game of thrones”?

  65. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    February 17, 2015 at 10:48 am | #

    Ethan needs to learn he can only be happy amongst his fellow gay Sasquatches. At least, that’s what I got from Joyce’s statement.

  66. brumagem
    brumagem
    February 17, 2015 at 11:57 am | #

    Boyfriends aren’t the only people who can help you and take care of you. Regular friends can do that too just sayin’.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      February 17, 2015 at 12:33 pm | #

      Joyce has it in her head that any guy she even remotely likes she has to marry. It’s telling that the only male friend she has in the cast is Walky.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 17, 2015 at 2:38 pm | #

        Who isn’t her friend because they greatly dislike each other.

        • flamelordkay
          flamelordkay
          February 17, 2015 at 5:44 pm | #

          They’re guilty of being friends by asociation.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          February 17, 2015 at 10:12 pm | #

          I remain unconvinced it’s total hatred. It’s one thing for Joyce to seek his companionship for reasons she’s made clear, but Walky? Dude hangs out with her even when Dorothy’s not around.

  67. la6ue mous snow angel
    la6ue mous snow angel
    February 17, 2015 at 11:58 am | #

    alt-text: GAYBIES
    http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/623/

  68. Alex
    Alex
    February 17, 2015 at 12:31 pm | #

    Not much of a slur, but maybe a tad emasculating being called a baby.

    • Crazy Dina
      Crazy Dina
      February 17, 2015 at 9:56 pm | #

      Why? Boys are babies too! (What? They’re born that way.)

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        April 15, 2015 at 10:13 pm | #

        …so to speak.

  69. Rheios
    Rheios
    May 18, 2015 at 10:02 pm | #

    Its really kindof nice that Ethan’s there to help sortof walk Joyce through this. Kindof the reflection to how Amber helped him with his parents. The situations not exactly the same of course, but hopefully it teaches him a bit about liking himself, and help Joyce solidify some of the understanding.

    Granted what the hell do I know? I’m a pretty judgmental prick on purpose most of the time.

    • Rheios
      Rheios
      May 18, 2015 at 10:03 pm | #

      And they should both be able to help Becky. Although I think she’s managing surprisingly well in some ways. Girls got moxy.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

  • Jennifer (30%, 694 Votes)
  • Danny (11%, 251 Votes)
  • Jason (8%, 192 Votes)
  • Ethan (12%, 265 Votes)
  • Amber (27%, 616 Votes)
  • Jacob (12%, 264 Votes)

Total Voters: 2,282

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  • Polls Archive
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