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Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 20d
Gwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Ash Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Katie @katiestp.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Hunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
DaisyFM ✒︎ @daisyfm.net ⋅ 2d
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(he/him)
⚧
New game! BOLTED 
“What if I invite Other Jacob?”
“…we’ll collectively look in this other direction.”
“What? Joyce, you don’t even want to LOOK at this other dude?”
“…Sarah, you explain.”
“OH, no way, I’d rather see YOU explain!”
“??? Now I HAVE to know.”
“DANGIT SARAH”
Joyce: “Hey, what happened to Other Jacob?”
Sarah: “You ever see a movie where someone brings a date to a party, but they wind up leaving with someone else?”
Joyce: “Hey, what happened to Ethan?”
Sarah: “Bingo.”
These are both conversations I would like to see. But not the Ethan-with-Other-Jacob part, Not interested in that sorry…
’tis better to ask for condescension than permission.
Whee
In that case, we will enact the Sarah Protocols.
“Sarah, here is a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, an MP3 player loaded with Death Metal (the grumpiest of all musical genres), and a picture of Jacob shirtless. Lock yourself in the bathroom for three hours and enjoy yourself.”
“Where did you get the picture?”
“I asked if Ethan could secretly take one. Turns out he already has a whole folder full of ’em on his computer.”
And with that, I now quit the internet forever.
Yeah ok that seems like it’d actually work. But what about Ruthless? It’s like EVERYONE’S forgot our favorite RA.
She can be dealt with through the “Billie Protocol”.
“Hey Ruth, I think I saw Billie in Leaf’s underwear” by any chance?
Or you could get around Ruthie by just inviting her to the party and casually mentioning that Billie will be there too. Perfect excuse for them to be socialising in public with no-one noticing they’re an item…
Sarah your irritation is how everyone will know it’s a party.
Sarah’s happiness is inversely proportional to that of everyone else in the room. If Joyce wants to know how the party’s going, all she needs to do is look at Sarah’s face. If the corners of her mouth are dragging on the floor, it’s a success!
Going by that theory, she ought to shipped with Mike for her own benefit, shouldn’t she?
Mike would figure out how to make Sarah miserable. It’s his special ability.
Face it Sarah, you have been typecast as a grumble-bum.
if((grumble-bum)Sarah.mood < 10){
exit(1);
}
Is that maths or computer code?
Computer code. I remember having to take a coding class once before I switched majors.
I think it might be grumble_bum.
Of course if Sarah is ever unable to be cast as grumble_bum then you’d be looking at a null exception error
You must be *supremely* confident in Sarah’s grumble_bumness.
Its true, in swift here causeOfAnnoyance isn’t even optional.
For all her talk I think Sarah has acted that way remarkably seldom. The only times I can think of is before the houseparty (where she actually didn’t ruin anyones fun except Ryan’s) and in the mall.
And that time she intervened against Dana.
Joyce has skipped straight to the end of the Five Stages of Party Grief.
Becky’s navel is staring at me. O_O
Don’t break eye contact, or it will attack.
So is it like a T-rex and its vision is based on movement?
Just back away slowly
Maybe it’s like a bird – throw a blanket over it, and it’ll calm down.
Don’t blink.
It already winked at me. What now?
Joyce actually looks a bit annoyed in that last panel. Could it be her tone of voice is sarcastic? Can she even do sarcastic?
How can this be? Jesus hates the snark.
Thou shalt not snark.
Not annoyed, sad/resigned.
Sarah makes a lot of very good points. Especially the last one.
So what? Are you suggesting we use logic in our lives? What sort of blasphemy is this!
logic & sanity, both are over-rated at times…
…also, she’s starting to snarl in her last panel <_<;
Start backing away slowly, people.
Sarah’s so cartoony, i love it
Have we ever seen Sarah happy? Like relaxed and content? Can’t think of a single one… MAYBE one time with Jacob.
That girl needs a hobby.
Isn’t Other Jacob a hobby?
I don’t now. Masturbation seems to be more “filling a biological need” then a hobby. Of course, that could just be a personal take on the matter. I wonder if Sarah is actually chill after a session with Other Jacob.
If you don’t consider masturbation a hobby, you aren’t doing it right.
It turns into an internet business for quite a few people. Solo webcam videos are one of the safest forms of sex industry work, although still pretty badly stigmatized by polite society.
It can probably be both.
Like, there’s eating just to survive, then there’s the vast culinary pleasures available to pursue in modern society. There are pretty passionate foodies for whom it’s definitely a hobby.
To a certain extent you could make a similar case for sensory stimulus in general. There are certain sounds we tend to find pleasant and certain sounds we do not, and I’m sure if you dig deep enough it all ties into some evolutionary bullshit about survival or passing on the genes or whatever at some point in our history as a species. Yet from that we build and consume music, which is such a broad thing and which again many people do pursue as a hobby in different ways.
If you’re really passionately into masturbation there’s probably all sorts of stuff you can do to elevate it into something like music or the culinary arts.
i love how this thread is developing
It does have an interesting feel to it’s general direction…
Sounds like Gangler probably explained it best. You can do a basic job, or you can make sure you do a good job. Sounds about right?
This thread is Pornlord Approved, then
Yes. Yes it is.
reminds me of when i was a virgin and was alone at home and started to look at various kitchen contraptions and vegetables with a creative eye.
Music, food and masturbation — finally together!
I’m not going to describe the scenario that my perverted brain instantly imagined, but it involves Mozart’s Eine kleine Nachtmusik and lobsters.
Clawed crustaceans and masturbation do not mix. They really don’t.
Um, am I really the only one here who knows about “sexy losers” webcomic’s “Mike’s left hand” story line? (I read that the author/artist coined “fap” & “schlock”, but I have not done any research to verify that…)
SCHLICK, not schlock!!!! (Spellwrecker was clearly invented by the predecessor of Sirius Cybernetics. When I find the programmers responsible, the last sound they’re gonna hear is OMMMMMINOUS HUMMMMMMMM ….)
So they’ll wind up in a Laz-5 state?
Oh. Yeah. Strohl guarantees it. If not, you get a 5 minute all you can grab shopping spree in their show room!
There’s masterbating just to take the edge of, where you do it as fast as possible. And then there’s masterbating for fun, where you enjoy the journey as much as possible and it’s time consuming but amazing.
that comment with your avatar is terrifying
If memory serves, there was that one time the night of the party when Joyce called her big sister
I thought of that too, but I wasn’t sure if that would qualify as Sarah being “relaxed and content”.
Here it is: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/sisters-2/
A better instance of Sarah relaxed & content occurred to me just now:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/kindness-2/
Hm, misremembered that scene, huh. ^^” And yeah I wasn’t going for relaxed and content, I just thought she might have smiled at that moment.
Oh, that’s a good one, wouldn’t have thought of that one.
I just remembered one where she seems happy: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/stare/
Kinda sympathizing with Sarah here, particularly because it’s her room too, and they haven’t even asked for her permission to have a party there.
We don’t know what their roommate agreement looks like. I wonder if they even talked about parties or get-togethers and what/how much permission requesting needs to happen… or if Sarah just assumed that super sheltered homeschool girl wasn’t ever going to have a party in thier room.
Roommate agreement or not, it’s kind of a matter of basic courtesy to, y’know, ask the other person sharing your living space if it’s okay to have a party in their living space.
At the moment they’re too hype to consider
I’m sure that after her previous experiences, Sarah includes “NO DORM PARTIES IN ROOM” on every roommate agreement as a matter or course, no matter who the roommate is. She probably wrote the agreement before she met Joyce.
Between the party and Becky living there, Joyce has been imposing quite a bit lately. If/when Becky gets caught by an RA, both roomies will catch some heat for it, after all.
Still, I don’t think the party is quite the issue it appears to be for Sarah. She can always go hit the library for a while if it is, but I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t stick around “just to keep a eye on the freshmen” of course. Can’t admit to enjoying herself, even if Ethan shows up with Jacob along for the ride.
Is Sarah the only non-RA, non-fresher in that dorm?
I don’t think so. Aren’t the girls who blamed her for getting her druggie roommate taken out of school still in the same dorm? We’ve seen run-ins with them at the dining hall, although they usually seem to avoid the main characters. They must be at least sophomores as well. Presumably there are guys as well.
I think Raidah et al. are on another floor, presumably the one where the sophomores live. Sarah applied for an extended stay in this hall because reasons.
Carla is a sophomore as well.
Ok, of course. It’s just that upper classman were important to my education. First time I saw Casablanca was in a senior’ s room for movie night.
My freshman year was in an experimental program where half the dorm was “academic overachiever” freshmen with a few older undergrads splashed in and the other half was entirely grad students who were supposed to be mentors and examples for us. It was a hilariously disastrous experience all around.
Did get to see Casablanca on the big screen for the first time that year, though. Also the Graduate, which was particularly funny for us. The only grads who ever wanted anything to do with the rest of the dorm were hunting 18 year old sex partners.
I’m guessing that whoever came up with that idea was never a grad student?
AFAIK, it was the product of a committee, and at least one of the people on it had never attended a college class in their life (honorary degree and all) much less lived on a campus.
We’re any of those grads named Jason or Penny?
It was a pretty big dorm, so statistically there was probably a grad-student Jason even though I never met one. Penny is relatively rare name (I’ve only met three human ones and a dog in almost 50 years) and we had one in the undergrad wings, so I’m going to guess she took up the dorm’s quota.
The “freshman hunting” grads that I knew about were Mike, Peter, and Kelly, the latter of whom was by far the most successful of the three.
So a Marx Brothers party is gonna happen?
“And two hard-boiled eggs!”
quick guys who do I ship becky with, that top yo!!
hahaha perfect that my grav is disapproving sarah
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone suggest Becky & Carla as a pairing, would anyone be interested in that kinda red-on-red action?
Dorm Party.
Shouldn’t be ‘permission’ granting here, but it should be discussed, which they are doing.
Sarah does make good points. But then, so does Joyce. Keep it small and friendly.
I just keep seeing this scenerio where the hall, using college students super hearing, all charge their room shouting ” …..Dorm Party.”
Then, Blake shows up and Sarah bops him with a baseball bat, Becky’s dad arrives and tries to drag her away, while Amber wrestles him to the ground before attacking Blake: and then Amber and Sal each recognize each other from the robbery. Then Ruth arrives and removes all of their femurs.
I feel like I’ve already read tgat yesterday.
It’s groundhog day.
who is blake
I’m gonna guess Amber’s father (Blaine ? Blaize ?)
No it’s gonna be this previously unseen dude who’s gonna be all hi my name’s Blake there a party here and Sarah’ll be all godfuckit Becky you said people she knows also what kind of name is Blake are you fucking kidding me that’s it I’m manslaughtering this guy on general principle and then she’ll hit him with her baseball bat and he’ll be all holy shit arrgh man I was just gonna ask you all to keep it down a bit it’s loud in hear only no one will understand him very well because slurring dying words and all.
It’s gonna be great.
#Blake #Murder #OneSceneWonder
*blinks* Did punctuation go on strike?
I was going to guess it was the name of Shortpacked! Amber’s sketch of Batman.
Blake Wayne. He’s so caring and sensitive.
Instead of being sent on the path of vigilante justice by a brutal double homicide, Blake started after receiving a bat to the face.
That would make him a totally different kind of Batman. The kind who strikes out injustice, and knocks criminal scum out of the (Gotham) park. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in seeing this.
The guy who is nowhere near as cool as Avon despite being the title character?
One of the dudebros at the party?
I’m guessing he just happened to walk by, Joyce saw him and freaked out, then Sarah descended on him with a bat. Poor Blake; he was only trying to post the weekly newsletter.
Is there any way Ryan could show up?
Sarah, you are my favorite character, and I sympathize with your plight. However, from personal experiences I’ve found that it’s better to just relocate elsewhere to do work (such as the campus library) and let the roommate have one night of fun.
Indeed; one night of fun is fair. The rest of the four years hould however, be spend in utter silent contemplation.
I completely agree. Best guess as to why she simply doesn’t is that she wants to avoid her former ‘friends’ and their harassment.
I’d assume she avoids trying that outside her room due to past harassment.
Couldn’t she go to Dorothy’s room? I mean if Dorothy is going to be at the party she probably wouldn’t mind Sarah studying in her room for the night.
Ah, panel 4 and 6. I absolutely adore the Joyce and Becky double act every time they get into it.
Every time they get into it? You realize that could be misinterpreted, namely in a way Becky would prefer…?
What do you do when you invite people and no one shows up?
What do you do when you invite people and no one shows up?
You sit in a corner with a bottle of Marker’s Mark and contemplate your sad, lonely life.
… er, at least that seems like one plausible result. In theory.
Well, or you go the Ruth way and bring them yourself.
After exhaustive experimental trial I can confirm this. In some edge cases, Knob Creek or rum is consumed.
Eat all the snacks and play the music you like while dancing as wildly as you want.
Crash someone else’s party?
You yell “free booze” the hallway and wait.
Nobody said you had to be there Sarah.
in her own room???
There are campus libraries. I always find them better places to study, anyway.
…and Joyce comes one step closer to becoming the Buddha ^^
Eastern religion? You’re terrifying the poor girl!
reminds me…of some line….from somewhere.
I dont know where…a cartoon…a sitcom…
Something like…
“Things work out when people make peace with each others problems. Like, i understand that even though I’m always right and you are always wrong and will fight me on everything…
…I’m at peace with that”
It seems a little crazy that Sarah isn’t willing to go study in the library for a couple hours, one time.
We’re only a couple of strips into the idea. She may give up and do just that, but I doubt it. Methinks she doth protest too much, and will enjoy the actual party as much as she enjoys grumbling about it before and after the fact. She has a self-image to maintain and cannot appear to be enthusiastic about socializing, after all. Kind of an issue with her. It’s part of what wound up shoving Jacob away from her.
And since we all know the number of people showing up for the party will spiral beyond the invites, and Ethan is certainly going to be there, what are the chances that Jacob shows up in tow?
Plus Joyce was trying to get Jacob interested in Sarah, Joyce may just quietly invite him, “forgetting” to mention Sarah lives there too…
If I’m to read into the preview panels, Ethan will probably invite Danny.
Or she could prefer to study in her own room as oppose to a public space because she has been shown to be a victim of harassment.
Never seen a library that doesn’t have private study rooms. Might be hard to reserve one for a long stretch if they’re busy, though.
Joyce seems to just assume that Walky will come. I wonder if she actually does think of him as a friend, or just assumes she can’t separate Dorothy from him.
It’s a party, why wouldn’t he come?
Yes
I bet Sarah Slipshine adult moment would be quite “fun”.
It would end in the middle with the guy giving up.
That…that’s just mean.
I’m sure Sarah enjoys sex as much as the average person.
I’m guessing she’s referring to Sarah’s fondness for toys rather than a lack of interest in sex. They’re great when you’re alone and a wonderful adjunct with a partner, but from a guy’s point of view, they can be kind of depressing if you feel like they’ve started competing with you. Self esteem issues are not uncommon when technology trumps biology too often.
Mojo Nixon’s got a wonderful song on that subject.
Then again, the most likely partner in that scenario is Jacob, the only person Sarah’s shown any sexual interest in to date. If his DoA iteration has the same addiction issues his other version does “giving up” in bed is not something that is likely to happen.
Jacob on Duracell, he keeps going and going and…
I love how Sarah is getting more and more cross with each panel.
7th panel: *snarls, bares fangs, starts frothing*
I love how unimpressed the teddy bear looks in panel 2…
Unimpressed? Can’t you see? It’s looking at Becky, thinking “Damn it girl, bad idea, BAD IDEA…”
Of course it can’t actually SAY it cause it’s a bear, but it’s thinking it…
It’s gonna get real cramped in that room. Does this college not have common spaces in the dorms?
That was entirely the wrong account
Ruth’s floor meeting way back in the early days was in a commons lounge. OTOH, you can’t really restrict the guest list if you run one there, and you need RA approval.
OTOH?
On The Other Hand.
It took me years to start using netspeak abbreviations, mostly because my posts are always too long.
Plus it kinda blows the whole ‘secrecy’ bit out of the water.
Oh, no you didn’!
WHITE noise?? That’s racist, man! You’re racist!
I can totally relate to Sarah’s opinion here.
Why doesn’t Sarah just go to the library or something?
gotta get a few objections in, for the record at least. Then when Ruth starts collecting femurs, she’s got her objections to hopefully protect her…
…hopefully…
I get the uncomfortable feeling that in real life I’d be Sarah in this situation.
Is it me or is Sarah’s nose getting more bulbous?
I think that they have forgotten the primary problem with this situation: Mike.
Although Mike might show up and make trouble anyway, I’m pretty sure there primary strategy will be to just not invite him.
Really I think if anyone causes trouble it will be Mary. She seems to be on relatively friendly terms with Joyce and although Joyce may have realized the problems of her church she may not have realized that this extends to other Christians being as hateful as Mary.
I don’t think Joyce thinks too highly of Mary, not after being chastised for bringing an atheist to a church.
She did let Mary draw terrible anime drawings for her door.
Mike will be too busy collecting nickels.
I foresee a lot of sheningans from becky-joyce duo in the future. I’ll probably really enjoy them too XD
Somehow I’m imagining them being considered troublemakers back at home. Yet for the life of me, I can’t imagine what that would actually entail, given the environment they were raised in.
Organising surprise scrabble parties.
Dorm Party! Is it gonna look like this?
So, Sarah’s the Party Police.
I’m probably the only one thinking this, but Sarah has a history regarding people whose personal stuff starts interfering with her academics and general staying-in-college. This ‘secret third roommate’ situation seems to have gone semi-permanent without her okay, she might get booted from the dorm if they’re found out, and now they’re leaning on her for a dorm party that’s (c’mon- you know it- so does she) going to blow up.
There might come a point where she just calls someone’s family to let them know.what’s going on with their daughter, for her good and Sarah’s own. It’s not like she hasn’t before…
Let’s hope the bat swinging, butt stomping Old Testament God avenging angel Sarah doesn’t have to be summoned. It would bring up many awkward questions about bloodstains on the carpet.
Not to mention possibly denting a perfectly good bat.