Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

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May 5, 2026

Astigmatism

by David M Willis on December 7, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - That Perfect Girl
└ Tags: amber, danny

Discussion (379) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 7, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    I feel like Willis could really mess with the “unaware-of-the-buffer-length” crowd by changing Nirvana to Stone Temple Pilots

    [RIP IN PEACE WEILAND]

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 7, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      also Amber guess what, stuff only millennials kids will get and stuff only “Gen Z” kids will get is ALSO stupid

      (also stuff only Baby Boomer kids will get, but because most of that is “ruin the economy and blame the next gen for being lazy”)

      • spriteless
        spriteless
        December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        Ahh yes. Their voice went kinda weak since Hunter S Thompson committed suicide.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        December 7, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        I’m the Last of the Boomers.

        Next time one of my crowd gives you a hard time, quote stats from this article in The Economist.

      • Memyself
        Memyself
        December 7, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

        Baby Boomers blame Gen X for ruining the economy?

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          December 7, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

          Yeah. They stopped buying our overpriced houses.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            December 7, 2015 at 3:05 am | #

            Us whippersnappers born in the mid-80s graduated college right as the home equity circlejerk got chafed and brought the entire economy down with it. Sorry, but there’s no way we can afford your overpriced houses without selling body parts. We’ll just wait for the silent generation to peter out and inherit the Leave It to Beaver neighborhoods.

            • Stranger
              Stranger
              December 7, 2015 at 12:51 pm | #

              Dont worry, I have a plan. Once they become too old and feeble to fight back, we dump them in one of those crooked nursing homes, and bar the doors with broom handles. Then we move into their houses, throw out all the medication and old crap, and burn their photos

              • Peduncle
                Peduncle
                December 7, 2015 at 7:09 pm | #

                We’re not worried. We have flower wraiths (Ctrl+F) to deal with your broom handles! And all our photos are hidden away in the doily closet! (Oh dang, I wasn’t supposed to mention that.)

            • Yet_One_More_Idiot
              Yet_One_More_Idiot
              December 8, 2015 at 8:21 am | #

              I’m one of those Gen-Xers (born in 82…does that make me the end of Gen X or the start of Gen Y, actually? I’m not sure where the cutoff is meant to be… xD), who came out of uni with a degree and then found nobody wanted to hire me because degrees had recently become so commonplace that they’re effectively useless (coupled with me choosing an actually useless degree anyway, in Mathematics).

              So, 12 years on from graduation, no long-term job, no home, no wife or kids…still living with my dad in his house. Your idea of simply waiting out to inherit his house isn’t gonna work either, because of the property price boom his house is worth so much that when he dies, my sister and I will have to sell it to pay off the effin’ inheritance tax, leaving me homeless. Same thing will probably happen with my mum’s flat, too. My future is looking pretty crappy…so I prefer to ignore it and enjoy the now. >_>

              ^_^;;;

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        December 7, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        I’m pretty sure that’s her point?

      • ANeM
        ANeM
        December 7, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

        There are some non-stupid things only Baby Boomers will get, such as: a valuable education at a reasonable price.

      • Lia47
        Lia47
        December 7, 2015 at 2:29 am | #

        Ugh, don’t say “gen z”, they/we haven’t even done anything yet to get a generational name. Gen x and gen y made sense but you can’t just slap a name on a whole generation just to finish off the alphabet

        • Jacknoir
          Jacknoir
          December 7, 2015 at 3:45 am | #

          it’s called gen Z because the way things are going their won’t be anymore after that.

          • The Other Mike
            The Other Mike
            December 7, 2015 at 3:52 am | #

            Anyone complaining about their children’s generation is really complaining about their own generation’s parenting skills.

            • MechaMaidFan7
              MechaMaidFan7
              December 7, 2015 at 8:56 am | #

              THIS

            • Mindlink
              Mindlink
              December 7, 2015 at 10:08 am | #

              In Scandinavia Z is not the last letter of the alphabet, after that comes Æ, Ø and Å. (Pronounced a bit like “The letter “a” in “frack””, “The letter “u” in “uh”, “The letter “o” in “Lord”” accordingly)
              You used to have Æ in English as well, like the old spelling of “Encylopædia”, but you used a different pronunciation.

              • Jão
                Jão
                December 7, 2015 at 11:44 am | #

                or Ä, Ö, Å for the swedes, if I’m not mistaken?

              • Telix
                Telix
                December 7, 2015 at 6:07 pm | #

                We also used to have Þ, called “thorn” for the “TH” sound. People misreading signs and weirdly written typefaces are responsible for the “Ye Olde” phenomenon. They originally read “ÞE OLDE” but people misread it.

        • KHNO
          KHNO
          December 7, 2015 at 12:29 pm | #

          We never did anything to be called generation Y either. Because people who name generations are not from the generation itself…

          • das-g
            das-g
            December 7, 2015 at 6:06 pm | #

            A generation doesn’t have to do anything to get a descriptive name. It merely needs a describable trait. Everyone knows that generation X mainly consists of females, while generation Y mainly consists of males. (Or was it mails?)

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          December 7, 2015 at 7:28 pm | #

          I apologize for saying Gen Z, etc., but that’s literally how the generations were described in our awful business meeting characterizing generations by relative birth year rather than actual personality traits.

          Generation Catalano FTW

  2. MM
    MM
    December 7, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Aren’t you still technically a Nineties kid, Danny?

    • gkheyf
      gkheyf
      December 7, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      give it time…

    • DinaWho
      DinaWho
      December 7, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      At this point he was probably born in (late) ’96 at the earliest, so the part of his childhood that he remembers best – the school-age type stuff – would all be in the next millennium. Is ‘nineties kid’ measured by birth year or childhood years?

      • -Sentinel-
        -Sentinel-
        December 7, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

        aaaaah, i feel so old

        • Dez
          Dez
          December 7, 2015 at 10:27 am | #

          I feel even older considering “90s kids” are still way young from my point of view.

        • Marc in MN
          Marc in MN
          December 7, 2015 at 11:25 pm | #

          Me too. I was in college in the mid-to-late 90s…

      • Longdistancetraveler
        Longdistancetraveler
        December 7, 2015 at 6:27 am | #

        I was born in 95 so I guess I’m a 00’s kid.

        And apparently I’m older than the cast of DoA (some of the cast).

        Damn.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        December 7, 2015 at 7:28 am | #

        Aaah. He’s in college. And he was born after I went to college.

        Aaaah I’m old. Well, feeling it, anyways.

        Damn you Willis.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        December 7, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

        I mean, I was born in ’92, and I only sort of consider myself to be a 90s kid.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      December 7, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

      No. He was probably 3 when the 90s ended. To be a ’90s’ kid, you need to have actual memories of the 90s. Preferably have at least turned 10 before 1999 ended.

      I am an 80s kid, not a 70s kid, because I was born in 1977, so all my substantial memories are from 1982 onward. (I can remember my 5th birthday clearly. I have spotty memories from before that.)

      • Carriethedragon
        Carriethedragon
        December 7, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

        Agreed. The DoA kids are, at this point, a year younger than me, so they were born in 1996 and 1997.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          December 7, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

          Oh no
          When I started reading I was younger than them by a wide margin

          That is no longer the case

          • Silamy
            Silamy
            December 7, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

            This is my relationship with Harry Potter in a nutshell. Watching the movies was… weird. Rereading the books is… mildly disturbing, much as I love it.

            • ShadowCougar
              ShadowCougar
              December 7, 2015 at 2:49 am | #

              hate to hurt you like this. Harry potter is six months older then me. Per Rowling, he was born in July of 1980. the books take place during the 90s. He IS a 90s kid.

              • Silamy
                Silamy
                December 7, 2015 at 12:10 pm | #

                Harry Potter’s old enough to be my father. I am aware of this. I still grew up with the characters -seeing them as YOUNGER than I am is…. weird.

            • Kelly
              Kelly
              December 7, 2015 at 4:01 am | #

              I never read HP till I was in my late 20s! I was a teenager when the books got big (before the movies), and I (correctly) identified the magic system as shit… but not until later did I learn that the rest of the books makes up for the magic issues. (I have a strong preference for worldbuilding, back then it was stronger and my liking of characters and plot was not as developed)

          • 1234
            1234
            December 7, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

            Same here. I was like 4 or 5 years younger than them when this comic started and now I’m a year older.

            • Carriethedragon
              Carriethedragon
              December 7, 2015 at 2:34 am | #

              Same! I’ve never been able to remember precisely when I started reading DoA, but I know I started reading Questionable Content in early 2011, and I believe it was not too long after that.

              • Garrett
                Garrett
                December 7, 2015 at 4:08 am | #

                I was born early 1995 and I consider myself a 90s kid in large part due to having older siblings exposing me to the culture more than I would have been without them.
                Also, I started reading this comic at the start of college, so we were the same age at first.

      • Siyajkak
        Siyajkak
        December 7, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

        Eh, at ’93, I’m at the cusp of 90’s kid-dom. A lot of the culture from the 90’s leaked into the early 2000’s though, so I feel like still got the experience.

        • Annie
          Annie
          December 7, 2015 at 2:31 am | #

          I feel the same way, but a decade back. I was born in 83 and remember most of the kids pop culture stuff from the 80s. I remember the Challenger, the Berlin Wall coming down, but the grown-up and older-kid stuff from then is a vague memory and more related to how my parents reacted to it.

          Then the 80s stuff bled in to the 90s and I can remember a lot of the 90s. I graduated high school in 2001, so I feel like I identify as a 80s kid, 90s kid, and to an extent with the 00s.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            December 7, 2015 at 3:57 am | #

            I remember the wall, and (very vaguely – we drank condensed milk for a while) Chernobyl, but not Challenger.

            • Annie
              Annie
              December 7, 2015 at 11:35 pm | #

              See, I know about Chernobyl, but have no real memories of it.
              I think I remember Challenger because I grew up in a very US Air Force strong city (San Antonio) with a dad that was fascinated in all things aviation and space. Shuttle launches were a big deal.
              Then, the elementary school I went to was named for a member of the Challenger crew, so starting in 1988, the memories I had were reinforced by pictures on the school walls and by ceremonies every January 28th.

          • Robin
            Robin
            December 7, 2015 at 5:19 pm | #

            So, um… iwaskindabornin2001

      • DinaWho
        DinaWho
        December 7, 2015 at 10:40 am | #

        I was born in ’91. I always assumed I was a ’90s kid. MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          December 7, 2015 at 7:29 pm | #

          YOU ARE WHAT YOU IDENTIFY

          LIVE THE DREAM

      • KHNO
        KHNO
        December 7, 2015 at 12:46 pm | #

        I’d say you can’t be only a XX’s kid. If you got an older brother/sister, you’ll know a lot from what came out before. I was raised with the Cure and early Neubauten stuff, and Joy Division, even if I’m a “90’s” kid. Moreover if you’re not from the US, because time went slower before and it could take a few years before the US hype came to western Europe (and I can’t imagine how it was in eastern Europe or Asia, or Africa). Of course some people were “connected”, but for example the eastern german punk scene played punk long time after its western counterpart was in pop music… So what I say is basically that you’re always from sometime+somewhere+sometimes else and somewhere else..

      • The Wizard
        The Wizard
        December 13, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

        The 90s is between 85 -95, so ya past 95 is no longer considered the 90s era.

    • Edupoet81
      Edupoet81
      December 7, 2015 at 5:22 pm | #

      Not sure where I fit. I was born in 1981, so I was around for most of the 80’s, but I was still a kid through most of the nineties. 1990 began with me in the middle of third grade, and 2000 began with me in the middle of my freshman year of college. I’m not sure which decade is *my* decade. I also don’t know what generation I belong to. I’m kind of on the borderline between Generation X, and the Millenials. I could be one of the youngest members of Generation X, or one of the oldest members of the Millenial Generation.

      There’s a possibility I’m overthinking this.

      • Yet Another Laura H.
        Yet Another Laura H.
        December 7, 2015 at 9:19 pm | #

        I think “your” decade comes around the time you turn eleven, given some informal polling— the year before you start, however subtly, to choose your own culture.

        • Edupoet81
          Edupoet81
          December 7, 2015 at 10:10 pm | #

          Okay, so that would make me a nineties kid. Good to know.

      • Annie
        Annie
        December 7, 2015 at 11:41 pm | #

        I was born in 83 and also feel like I’m on the cusp between Gen X and Millennials. There’s things from both that I totally get and things from both that make me say “no, that’s for people older/younger than me.”

        My mother was born in 61 and says there’s things about baby boomers that seem too old to her, but that she doesn’t identify with any of Gen X. Whereas I feel like equal parts Gen X and Millennial.

  3. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    December 7, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    *plays Jackson Browne’s “Doctor My Eyes” on the hacked Muzak*

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 7, 2015 at 4:57 am | #

      Talking about the 90’s, I think you should play “Winds of Change” on the Muzak.

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        December 7, 2015 at 11:30 pm | #

        Ace of Base, then? *shrug*

  4. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    December 7, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Danny looks short right now

  5. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    December 7, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Yeah, 90’s kids suck…almost as much as 80’s kids!

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    #ShotsFired LOL

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 7, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      I’m still not sure which I’m supposed to be. Born in 1984. I remember some of the 80s.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 7, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        I was born in ’94.
        I remember some of the 90s.

        • MrZombieScordo
          MrZombieScordo
          December 7, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

          I was born in ’94, I remember stuff that was cool in the 90’s.

          • Agemegos
            Agemegos
            December 7, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

            I was born in ’64. Get off my lawn.

            • Peduncle
              Peduncle
              December 7, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

              Hmph. Kids these days.

              • Opus the Poet
                Opus the Poet
                December 7, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

                I know, can’t trust anyone who doesn’t remember what they were doing and where they were when JFK was shot.

                • Captain Button
                  Captain Button
                  December 7, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

                  I know, can’t trust anyone who doesn’t remember what they were doing and where they were when Armstrong stepped on to the Moon.

                  Fixed that for you.

                • Stephen R. Bierce
                  Stephen R. Bierce
                  December 7, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

                  I know, can’t trust anyone who doesn’t remember what they were doing and where they were when Ronald Reagan was shot.
                  Here we go.

                • Peduncle
                  Peduncle
                  December 7, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

                  Huh. So Opus can trust me but the Captain can’t. Age is strange.

                • Opus the Poet
                  Opus the Poet
                  December 7, 2015 at 12:50 am | #

                  I was at my Aunt Chicky’s house in Jacksonville FL watching a B/W “portable” TV when Armstrong messed up his own quote…

                • Bicycle Bill
                  Bicycle Bill
                  December 7, 2015 at 1:22 am | #

                  So what does it mean when I, like Opus, can probably remember all three (JFK, “One Small Step”, and Reagan)?

                • Solenoid
                  Solenoid
                  December 7, 2015 at 1:31 am | #

                  That you’re old as sin and we young’uns can’t trust you. Can’t trust anyone over 40, really.

                • Agemegos
                  Agemegos
                  December 7, 2015 at 2:04 am | #

                  When Armstrong stepped onto the Moon I was kneeling on the floor of a neighbour’s living room. My mother and I had gone there because they had a TV. People in the room were me, my best friend Andrew, my mother, and Andrew’s mother. I remember the shirt I had on, but not the pants.

                • WaytoomanyUIDs
                  WaytoomanyUIDs
                  December 7, 2015 at 3:57 am | #

                  I know, can’t trust anyone who doesn’t remember what they were doing and where they were when Lincoln was shot.

                  fixed it properly

                • Falling Star
                  Falling Star
                  December 7, 2015 at 2:26 pm | #

                  I know, can’t trust anyone who doesn’t remember what they were doing and where they were when Alexander Hamilton was shot.
                  fixed that for you

                • Peduncle
                  Peduncle
                  December 7, 2015 at 6:38 pm | #

                  *where they were when Alexander Hamilton was shot.*
                  History always gets things wrong. It was my great-great-granddaughter fired that shot. Burr always did hog the [Ana Chronistic warning] limelight.

              • StClair
                StClair
                December 7, 2015 at 5:22 am | #

                In July of ’69, I was a month-old tadpole who’d emerge from the womb the following March.

            • merbrat
              merbrat
              December 7, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

              ’54. You, too! ;o)

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          December 7, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

          I was born in ’91. About the only things I remember are Beast Wars and BTAS.

      • KHNO
        KHNO
        December 7, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

        81. A bit younger that Willis. So I wouldn’t really be able to tell. For my students, I’m from jurassic, even too old to be the cool uncle (and I tried!). But I can’t remember Beast Wars, Power Rangers came too late for me, I am pretty sure that what I remember from the wall, Ceaucescu are reconstructed memories after I seen it two thousant times every year since…

    • jalika123
      jalika123
      December 7, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Lets not even talk about those darn 70’s kids, almost as bad as their parents the 60’s kids, with their darn flower wraith and their wars

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        December 7, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

        Uh
        Flower wraith?

        Once again I get inspiration for the next game night’s monster encounter from a webcomic’s comment section…

        • Peduncle
          Peduncle
          December 7, 2015 at 1:44 pm | #

          Shhh! Don’t spook ’em. I expect there will be more than one flower wraith haunting the badlands nurseries in the next few weeks. Mine will certainly have kudzu wraiths for sale.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      “If we ever get out of the 80s, the 90s are going to make the 60s, look like the 50s.” – Flashback

      • barefootbiker
        barefootbiker
        December 7, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

        Unfortunately, in many ways we never did really get out of the ’80s…

    • Palamdrone
      Palamdrone
      December 7, 2015 at 8:58 am | #

      And those darn kids from the 2010’s are the worst.

      By the time this comic is done, the DoA cast might be kids of 2020.

  6. Pivitor
    Pivitor
    December 7, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    What happened to Amber’s costume?

    • QWERTY
      QWERTY
      December 7, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      She ran into a tree. So her glasses broke.

    • gkheyf
      gkheyf
      December 7, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      ‘epic car ride’ is a somewhat misleading description

  7. QWERTY
    QWERTY
    December 7, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    What’s a non-people corporation?
    And isn’t Danny technically a 90’s kid

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 7, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      EA, for one.

    • MrZombieScordo
      MrZombieScordo
      December 7, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Before corporations were ruled to count as people. For right now, but as the timeline stretches, he will eventually not be.

      • Derek
        Derek
        December 7, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        Corporations were already “people”. Corporate personhood is an old concept, the supreme court case just reiterated that (specifically, it ruled that corporations have rights such as free speech).

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          December 7, 2015 at 1:57 am | #

          Well, technically it ruled that shareholders have the right assemble to to petition the government for the redress of grievances, and therefore that they can exercise their individual rights of free speech collectively, through their corporation. See the article on Citizens United v. FEC in Wikipedia.

          Corporations do not have all the rights of natural persons. For example, they cannot vote or run for office.

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            December 7, 2015 at 4:03 am | #

            Just wait a few more years.
            Not that I’m cynical or anything like that.

          • Robzilla
            Robzilla
            December 7, 2015 at 9:14 am | #

            True, but they have many of the rights of natural persons, and the idea that their existence is something new is highlighted in Danny’s comment. Sadly, many people don’t know the “WHY” of it all, and just parrot the “John Stewart Show” and the “Colbert Report”, instead of learning why we create artificial persons. Good explanation by the way, Ag.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        December 7, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

        No, Danny is not, and never has been, a 90s kid. He did not grow up in the 90s, he has no substantial memories of the 90s. He was still a toddler when the 90s ended.

        He is a child of the 21st century.

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          December 7, 2015 at 12:57 am | #

          Hmm. Well…OK, I suppose when the comic started 5 years ago, he’d have been a 90s kid. ’91 or ’92 gives him SOME time to build actual memories of the 90s. But that window closed 3 years ago.

          • Lawzlo
            Lawzlo
            December 7, 2015 at 4:23 am | #

            We’re through the looking glass here, people.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      December 7, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporate_personhood

  8. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 7, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    I feel as if the longer this goes on, the less I’ll identify as someone who hates those kinds of lists.

    The future scares me.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      “The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us. And our lives slip away moment by moment in that vast terrible in-between.” – Babylon 5

    • Rheinman137
      Rheinman137
      December 7, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

      “Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery. But today is a gift. That’s why they call it the Present” – Master Oogway

  9. Badeyes
    Badeyes
    December 7, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    When I was growing up I wanted to be a coorporation.
    It’s all Micheal J Fox’s fault.

    • butting
      butting
      December 7, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

      Nah, I never fell for that. Shepherd Book planned to but got talked out of it, and that seemed the right move.

      (aw I hope I’m not the only one here who remembers that…)

  10. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 7, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    She’s litterally answering yesterday’s comments.

    But it cannot beeeee.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 7, 2015 at 2:27 am | #

      We’re obviously just that predictable.

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 7, 2015 at 5:37 am | #

        The Tape Knew You Would Say That

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      December 7, 2015 at 4:19 pm | #

      I’m pretty sure we’ve been speculating about Amber’s eyesight since well before this strip was produced.

  11. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 7, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    The nineties sucked. ’00s are where it’s at.

  12. GoldStarz
    GoldStarz
    December 7, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Danny, you ARE a Nineties kid.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Is he? ’90s kids aren’t kids born in the ’90s are they? They’re people who were kids in the ’90s. Usually meaning you were born in the ’80s.

    • madock345
      madock345
      December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Not really, not the way it’s usually defined. Danny would have been born in the mid-late 90’s. I would say a 90’s kid is someone who grew up then. He probably doesn’t even remember the 90’s at all.

      • Someone
        Someone
        December 7, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        he would have to be born around 1997, he’s only a year older then me, and I sure as hell don’t define myself as a 90’s kid.

  13. Fish Facade
    Fish Facade
    December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    At the beginning of the comic, they were nineties kids. Now, they were born in 1997~1998, and have no memories of the nineties.

    …

    Suddenly I feel like this is some trippy sci-fi

    • barefootbiker
      barefootbiker
      December 7, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      That’s really bizarre, yeah. When the comic started, they were 3 years older than me. When I started reading, we were the same age (I guess I was a little older, since it was spring IRL but still fall in-comic) and now I’m two years older. Maybe they’re going at extreme speeds, and the time dilation of special relativity is keeping them young?

      Yup. New headcanon. DoA takes place on an Earth that moves millions of times faster than this one.

      • Someone
        Someone
        December 7, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        They have gone from feeling like older siblings to feeling like acquaintances. This may be the only story in which my personal growth happens faster then the characters.

      • fizzywafflezsuperstore
        fizzywafflezsuperstore
        December 7, 2015 at 1:59 am | #

        This story takes place in another universe, one where time runs slower.

  14. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Now I feel nostalgic for the ’90s. The good old days of Nicktoons and other crazy-cool stuff.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 7, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      I’ve gone back and watched them all. The only ones that hold up are Rocko, the first two seasons of Ren & Stimpy, and MAYBE Ahh Real Monsters.

      Nostalgia lenses are rose colored.

      • Someone
        Someone
        December 7, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        Batman: The Animated series is good

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 7, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

          Oh yeah, that one is good. I was just listing Nicktoons.

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            December 7, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

            Samurai Jack was also good. Which I just learned yesterday that apparently they are bringing it back.

            • Tacos
              Tacos
              December 7, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

              Oh no, wait that was from the 2000’s not the 90’s.

            • Leorale
              Leorale
              December 7, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

              Ooh, they are? I don’t remember the plot but I recall it was visually stylish and made cool use of silence.

              • Kelly
                Kelly
                December 7, 2015 at 3:52 am | #

                Yep, going to be on Toonami/[Adult Swim]

                • inqntrol
                  inqntrol
                  December 7, 2015 at 5:13 am | #

                  Annnnnd the channel doesn’t cover my country. It actually doesn’t cover Europe, except Germany and Ireland and…RUSSIA?!

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 7, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

        Rocko made me feel sad and listless, and I didn’t know why.
        Ren and Stimpy made me uncomfortable, likewise.
        I really liked Gargoyles and X-Men: Evolution, though.

        • Solenoid
          Solenoid
          December 7, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

          Rocko is the world as seen through a dark mirror and everyone’s an animal. It was telling you to laugh at the absurdity of the world. For some, the notion that the world and what often is taken to matter by most people in it is inherently absurd is a disquieting thought.

          Ren and Stimpy was just skirting the edges of vulgarity, however.

        • LastDawnOfMan
          LastDawnOfMan
          December 7, 2015 at 2:32 am | #

          I remember a child psychologist saying that it can be hard on kids to be presented with stories where the protagonist has no control over his fate. Rocko was the worst show I’ve ever seen for presenting a world where the literal laws of physics would bend to prevent the protagonist from having any control, and that protagonist was always such a hopeful and kind innocent as to exacerbate the injustice of the awfull things happening to him. So I always thought it as a psychologically terrible show for kids.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        December 7, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        Sheep in the Big City.

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          December 7, 2015 at 5:05 am | #

          That sheep was more valuable than a nuclear warhead to that military organization.

        • SonicBlueRanger
          SonicBlueRanger
          December 7, 2015 at 9:38 am | #

          I’m not a Mad Scientist I’m an Angry Scientist!

  15. Alden
    Alden
    December 7, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Seems dangerous. I assume Clark Kent has a spare pair so his secret identity isn’t exposed if he breaks his glasses.

  16. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 7, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    I rather be a squid than a 90s kid.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 7, 2015 at 4:41 am | #

      And always be depressed?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 7, 2015 at 4:08 pm | #

        Why would I be depressed?

  17. C.
    C.
    December 7, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    Corporated personhood had been established well before the 2000’s.

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 7, 2015 at 3:51 am | #

      yes, but it got expanded to whole new levels in the 00s/10s especially with Citizens United in 2010

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        December 7, 2015 at 6:57 am | #

        Exactly. It went from corporate personhood as a legal fiction to allow them representation in court and the like to “Corporations are people too, my friend.” And now they have religion as well.

  18. Peduncle
    Peduncle
    December 7, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    Today, in American professional football, the (Buffalo) Billies found much to cheer about, the (Oakland) Raidahs failed to cling to an advantage, and the (Tampa Bay) Beckyneers disposed of some feathered dinosaurs. On the other hand, the hapless Cleveland (Joyce) Browns didn’t have a prayer.

  19. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    December 7, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    I have astigmatism and nearsightedness. Life sucks more for me, Amber.

  20. Rutee
    Rutee
    December 7, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    ….how does amber feel about trukk not munky?

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 7, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      …I mean, I know we saw her have her action figures make kissy faces, but it’s been a few years. Will the cast’s opinions on childhood toys shift when they’re no longer in their childhood? XD

      • Silamy
        Silamy
        December 7, 2015 at 12:20 pm | #

        There’s another interesting question -will their childhood toys and their references change as they …will have been? (not sure how to grammar that one) born later on?

        • TheGrammarLegionary
          TheGrammarLegionary
          December 7, 2015 at 1:10 pm | #

          I’d say the grammar was about as good as you can get with that sort of bent timeline. Verb tenses are going to change DRAMATICALLY if humanity ever invents time travel.

        • Marie
          Marie
          December 7, 2015 at 6:02 pm | #

          I think the frozen reference during the dorm party means yes. That isn’t exactly something they grew up with, but had come out sometime before school started

  21. Zaidyer
    Zaidyer
    December 7, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    Look Danny, the nineties were pretty cool. They’re like the bridge between today and the way things worked in the 20th century before the internet, while also actually having the internet. And the best part was hardly anybody knew about it or understood it at all!

    (Oh god, I’m so old)

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      Speaking as either a 60s or a 70s kid, the 90s were when many things started to go right or at least much less wrong. Before you darn meddling kids had it ruined for you by us old farts.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        December 7, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

        Yeah. Just last night I was telling some teenagers about December 1989–December 1991. Then was a biennium!

        • Solenoid
          Solenoid
          December 7, 2015 at 1:39 am | #

          Sorry my birth heralded the end of your golden age.

          • inqntrol
            inqntrol
            December 7, 2015 at 5:18 am | #

            And hope for others.

        • Rheinman137
          Rheinman137
          December 7, 2015 at 12:47 pm | #

          How do you feel about the idea that the 20th century only lasted from 1914-1989?

          The Nineteenth century lasted until WWI kicked off and the 21st Century started from the fall of Communism.

          • Captain Button
            Captain Button
            December 7, 2015 at 3:59 pm | #

            Politically, yes. economically I go with 1870-2010 for the 20th century, per Brad Delong.

            • Clif
              Clif
              December 7, 2015 at 11:54 pm | #

              The 21 century started on 9/11.

      • WolfPup
        WolfPup
        December 7, 2015 at 2:21 pm | #

        Don’t worry… Each generation gets to screw things up in their own unique way.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 7, 2015 at 5:56 am | #

      An era where people actually used the phrase “Information Superhighway” with a straight face.

  22. That One Guy
    That One Guy
    December 7, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    I’m not used to seeing this Glassesless Amber.

  23. izumi ryu
    izumi ryu
    December 7, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Willis, I know it is pure coincidence and all but our sense of timing is oddly in sync… http://centerlanecomic.net/comic/more-reasons-than-vision/

  24. Someone
    Someone
    December 7, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    I feel like most of the people who talk about how great the 90’s are were born in 1999.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 7, 2015 at 4:35 am | #

      Well, the 90’s werent a great decade for all.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 7, 2015 at 6:02 am | #

      Try about 30 years earlier.
      As a twenty-something, the 90s were pretty good for me. I was out of college, had a good job, the economy was doing well and the Cold War – the existential threat of nuclear annihilation that had loomed over my teen years – was over. Plus, the Internet and some really great animated series and movies! (And Babylon 5 and some of the best of Star Trek…)
      Even Y2K turned out OK, thanks to the hard work of a lot of people to fix it.
      And then, in September of 2001, everything changed… again.

      • qman
        qman
        December 7, 2015 at 11:39 am | #

        This. The 90s were simply a better political climate in the US, and while it wasn’t great for everyone, it was still a hopeful time, between the cold war and the forever terrorism threat atmosphere. The economy was good, and new things were happening.
        Now we’re surrounded by people who can’t get jobs because there simply aren’t enough jobs to be had, trillions of dollars in debt everywhere you look, the fed constantly trying to take away our rights in the name of security, and facing total economic collapse yet again.

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          December 7, 2015 at 8:00 pm | #

          There are plenty of jobs! …for robots and outsourcing to other countries =|

  25. Foxhack
    Foxhack
    December 7, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    … I have astigmatism.

    The minute I bought an LCD monitor, all my eye issues went away. Screw weird refresh rates on old tube monitors…

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 7, 2015 at 3:48 am | #

      CRTs, you want a quality one that you can crank up somewhere above 75 Hz. That worked for me, some do better with 85 or more. 60 is a pain in the ass. Or rather, eyes.

      Pretty irrelevant now of course…

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        December 7, 2015 at 10:57 am | #

        ^ This. I’m a person who needed the 85 Hz refresh rate. I discovered that during my CIS degree in college; prior to that, I just thought all computer monitors flickered annoyingly, and that other people just pretended not to notice. ^^;

  26. JA
    JA
    December 7, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

    Am a 90s kid. And Power Rangers, Nirvana, Beast Wars, pogs, and all the rest were awesome. The aughts and 10s kids are just jealous that they have no cognitive memories of the greatest decade in History.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      December 7, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      Unless you remember the “60s, neither do you. 😛

      • LastDawnOfMan
        LastDawnOfMan
        December 7, 2015 at 2:51 am | #

        We were poor during those days, my mom and I were kicked out of the house and homeless in the 60s. People were vicious to us for being poor. Men treated her like a low rent whore at every job she took, firing her when she wouldn’t put out because clearly if she wasn’t one she should have remarried immediately to the first man she could find. On top of that, everyone expected the whole world to be destroyed by nuclear war, inevitably, within a handful of years. And I remember how people of color were still being treated.

        I’m sure people of any decade who lived with a good quality of life think their decade was the best. Give me the 90s, personally.

        • Willoughby Chase
          Willoughby Chase
          December 7, 2015 at 3:22 am | #

          I remember my father telling me in the 70s that the world would end within 15 years.

          As a kid, I knew nothing but cold-water flats and external toilets and gas lighting. We froze.

          Dental care became far better in the 90s. I remember screaming as the dentist gassed me. Took me years to visit the dentist without fear.

          Medical care as well.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          December 7, 2015 at 8:58 am | #

          It’s why each new generation on the current trajectory is better than the last. Because the hard-fought activism of the last generation has meant that that generation grows up with less toxic bullshit than the last and has a better perch to fight to improve things from there.

          And that’s a good thing even if our egos want to imagine our hazy rememberances of our childhoods to be the greatest time in any person’s life. I see kids with similar marginalizations to me and they’ll have an easier (though not easy) road of it than I did and that’s amazing.

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            December 7, 2015 at 11:56 am | #

            On the shoulders of giants.

          • Rheinman137
            Rheinman137
            December 7, 2015 at 12:50 pm | #

            When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry. – P.J. O’Rourke

    • SonicBlueRanger
      SonicBlueRanger
      December 7, 2015 at 9:41 am | #

      I was born in 1990 so I remember most of the 90’s. I find it hilarious when people say they Remember Power Rangers like it hasn’t been going on for 22 years and gotten significantly better than MMPR.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 7, 2015 at 9:50 am | #

        It’s kind of weird that the best Power Rangers series was the grim post-apocalyptic series about mankind being driven to near extinction by a genocidal robot.

  27. Inkblot
    Inkblot
    December 7, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

    I have computer glasses too, but I don’t wear ’em when I’m not using my computer.

  28. Someone
    Someone
    December 7, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

    I did recently take the time to watch the first couple episodes of Transformers.

    “You destroy everything you touch Megatron!”
    “Because everything I touch is fuel, fuel for my hunger for power!”

    Quality writing right there.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      December 7, 2015 at 11:03 am | #

      Optimus and Megatron had some of their best lines over that arc, don’t knock it. 😉

      I freaking love me some “More Than Meets the Eye” (the G1 story arc), followed by Transformers the Movie and “Five Faces of Darkness” (aka “Roddy Trips Balls and It’s Awesome”).

      • Someone
        Someone
        December 7, 2015 at 2:02 pm | #

        I never said I disliked it. It woudnt feel right without the cheesy dialog

  29. smooti
    smooti
    December 7, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    wait, wait, danny’s not a nineties kid ???

    am i…. old now ???

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 7, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      Im sorry you had to find out this way

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

      He looked at me eyes wide and plainly said,
      “Is it true that I’m no longer young?”
      And I should have told him, “No, you’re not old.”

  30. Leorale
    Leorale
    December 7, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

    My eyes are fine, but those type of lists still give me a headache.

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 7, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      but do you remember Spongebob?

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 7, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

        Sure. I thought the art was aesthetically ugly and I generally didn’t understand what the fuss was about. Sorry to be a hater.

        • Someone
          Someone
          December 7, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

          I don’t really like it either. But its commonly used in 90’s kid lists. Despite the fact that its still running.

          • Lord Stoneheart
            Lord Stoneheart
            December 7, 2015 at 1:18 am | #

            Wasn’t SpongeBob early 00’s? I remember the first couple seasons, then tuning out. (I was born in 93. I have memories of the 90s but the cartoons I remember from childhood are probably more on the 00s side of things.

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            December 7, 2015 at 1:28 am | #

            I think it’s more that recognition-humour just isn’t my cup of Tang.

  31. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    December 7, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

    And their CD-ROMs and their milkcaps and their Space Jams and their Rugratses and their Ace of Bases and their Full Houses and their 90210s and their Sports Illustrated for Kidses and their Where’s Waldoes and their Sega Genesiseseses…

    • NinjaNick
      NinjaNick
      December 7, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      …and their Carmen Sandiegoes and their Lion Kings…

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 7, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

        … and their Fresh Prince of Bel-Airses…

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          December 7, 2015 at 3:42 am | #

          …and their Dallas(old series).

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            December 7, 2015 at 10:59 am | #

            … and their Super Nintendo’s and their Xena’s…

  32. Boxilar
    Boxilar
    December 7, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    Born in ’68. Remember three channels on broadcast TV. Atari 2600 and Star Wars (before it was New Hope). Mowed lawns and saved for my own Kenner Millennium Falcon. High school in the eighties. All night D&D on the weekends. Empire Strikes Back, Wrath of Kahn, Return of the Jedi. Return of the Jedi Leia in Endor outfit was Best Leia. Axis and Allies games that lasted for hours and resulted in flipped tables. Hair Bands. Knight Rider and Airwolf. The Powers of Matthew Star. G.I. Joe and Thunder Chats. Transformers. Top Gun. Graduated, joined the army. Then the.Cold War ended, the Soviet Union imploded.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 7, 2015 at 6:05 am | #

      Two years after ya (on a nice round zero year). Ah, memories.

    • Cadrys
      Cadrys
      December 7, 2015 at 10:39 pm | #

      Also ’68. The oldest member of our group had a moped. We would hold a shoulder to get across the Beaches quicker on our bikes. SF was limited to “be-dee-be-dee-be-dee” and Lorne Greene doing a “Wagontrain across the stars”. Growing up *knowing* one day we’d hear “This is the emergency broadcast system, this is NOT a test.” Pop Rocks. Sony Walkman. Challenger. Mosquito control trucks. (Grew up in FL. Don’t chase those.) AD&D. Prom was a big hair/shoulderpad competition. The giant original PC with its weapons-grade keyboard. Arcades were the *cool* place to be.

  33. Stara
    Stara
    December 7, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    I just got why Amber annoys me so. Whenever the screen’s on her, it’s just “me me me” out of her mouth. The comic has a streak of melodrama running through every bit of conflict, minor or major, which is fine because it’s the cartoon genre. But Amber’s always, always, ALWAYS on about Amber. It doesn’t matter if Danny’s got stuff going on or Ethan’s having personal struggles, she just assumes it’s about her, or doesn’t ask what’s going on in someone’s life, or else makes it about her happiness and what she could have had or have gotten out of the situation. If she ties into the tragedy at all, it has to be HER tragedy. Basically the opposite of Joyce, who especially with Becky showing up, goes out of her way to give warmth and love, and to make it about the other person. Her personal foibles not withstanding.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      December 7, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

      She listens to Dina for Dina.

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 7, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

        I’m going to agree halfway with you (no need to pick a position when contemplating personalities). I could suggest, though, that there’s a component of self-soothing involved there. Dina largely ends up where Amber is, and they end up talking; Amber does not respond with hostility, so they have a bit of rapport. Amber doesn’t actively seek her out, though. And Amber may derive (back to self-soothing) a little personal boost by comparing herself and her anxieties to Dina.

        Having said that, no, you’re right, she does listen to Dina. Whether it’s for Dina or just because, I’ll be a bit wobbly on.

    • Memyself
      Memyself
      December 7, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

      You just nailed it, I think.

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 7, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      That’s why she has Amazi-Girl. Amber is selfish. Amazi-Girl isn’t. It’s pretty obvious that she giving the more heroic parts of her personality to Amazi-Girl

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 7, 2015 at 1:16 am | #

        Her more contemplative aspects, maybe, but I wouldn’t stretch it that far. Amazigirl is a huge attention hog, which is a little disguised by the glamour of vigilante action (and of course, the fun of reading it. I like the Amazigirl storylines, for all these remarks). If you strip that side away, though– imagine her as a street-clothes-wearing Amber jumping in, bossing people around, slowing down productive response, and escalating situations– it’s a but easier to parse, perhaps (between Sal and Sarah, you get a more realistic and rounded depiction of how serious crime is worsened by Amber’s interventions; exceptions made to petty crime).

        • Someone
          Someone
          December 7, 2015 at 1:20 am | #

          I never said she was good at it

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      December 7, 2015 at 1:19 am | #

      When she heard that Joyce had dumped Ethan she was pretty spry.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      December 7, 2015 at 8:06 am | #

      I dunno, Danny asked about her.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      December 7, 2015 at 8:18 am | #

      *danny asks amber about herself*
      *amber answers*
      god dammit amber why are you always talking about yourself

      • Volkai
        Volkai
        December 7, 2015 at 12:10 pm | #

        How do you have time to read comments?

        (Kidding!)

        Seriously though, hope things are going well Willises!

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 8, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

          How do you have time to read comments?

          Back to slaving on the buffer for our future enjoyment!

          What?

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 7, 2015 at 7:03 pm | #

        Nah, it’s not that, it’s just that I rarely notice Amber reciprocating to others with the amount of concern and tenderness they show her. It DOES happen, but in my memory, sparely. You’re the author so of course the truth of the character lies in how you see her. As a reader, I do see Amber as a bit self-absorbed. Not a massive brat or a bad person, but she does seem to see things as being about her (note: this is, after all, not unheard of in social anxiety anyways; making things about oneself need not connote a spoilt princess, it just means that the direction things go or get reflected tends to self).

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 7, 2015 at 7:39 pm | #

        I should also note that I like the storylines that surround Amber since she’s got some of the more imaginative threads, and I like the comic book superhero gilding on those threads. How much I like something is not impacted by how I personally feel towards one portion of it, and I can like someone while being irritated by them. There’s no reason to pick one feeling or to make it black and white. Otherwise, my early irritation with Annie as a slightly Mary Sue lead and Kat as a chorus to her would have turned me off of Gunnerkrigg, which it did not. It’s always been one of my favourite comics; later the author addresses Annie’s mildly selfish actions and the character grows, and Kat is also fleshed out by becoming seen in-story as Annie’s equal, instead of vaguely implied but largely dinished by her wow-ness over Annie’s not crying easily and being a psychopomp and such.
        Now I can go back to what used to bother me and just enjoy all of it. And, since Annie is the narrator at first, the changing art can also be retro-fitted as representative of her changing worldview and the increased complexity of perspective.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 7, 2015 at 8:39 am | #

      Amber can be kind of selfish sometimes.

      This is part of this terrible condition known as “being human”.

      I mean, of all the people I’d label selfish as a consistent character trait, Amber would really be low on the list, given how much of her is motivated on desperately trying to do the right thing to make up for perceived personal failings.

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 7, 2015 at 7:08 pm | #

        Being human: officially the worst crime ever.

        Please don’t extremify my comments. 🙂 I did not say Amber must be in a certain mold or her character needs to change; I said she annoys me, which is something that we humans also do (we have feelings towards other humans, largely positive, occasionally contrary). And you see her as being far more selfless than I do. I don’t actually perceive the various things she does as being for the greater good but rather to make her feel better about herself; when it becomes about other people getting hurt, I do agree she thinks outside herself and feels for that person, and internalises the guilt. Becky storyline a massive case in point.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 7, 2015 at 7:14 pm | #

          Yeah Amber’s vigilante routine is self interested, but it also stems from her massive amounts of self loathing. She’s so convinced she’s a terrible person she’s created an alter ego whose purpose is being cooler than that shut-in dork.

          Like, Amber’s so scared that she’s going to violently lash out at the people she loves, a fear that’s been beaten into her skull since childhood, that she had to find a way to deal with it before she exploded.

          • Stara
            Stara
            December 7, 2015 at 7:22 pm | #

            Oh, definitely, but can’t she be both? (Or, can’t we both be right?)

            In one reader, the bad validates her flaws and the bad gets the spotlight; in another reader, they coexist but it does not fully pardon the flaws, only explain.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              December 7, 2015 at 7:28 pm | #

              I mean, “I don’t like her” is a perfectly valid opinion and I wouldn’t be saying anything at that. “I don’t like her because these reasons you like” is good too. I like Danny even though he’s a butter and mayonnaise sandwich in the middle of a snowstorm, but most people resent that about his character.

              “Amber is selfish and always makes things about her” isn’t that, though. It’s not talking about how you feel about the character, it’s how the character is, if that makes sense.

              Anyway, I really disagree at this idea that Amber is a selfish person. I’ve seen it before when she had the gall to be upset that Ethan was moving on without her, and it was wrong then.

              • Stara
                Stara
                December 7, 2015 at 7:42 pm | #

                Okay. We won’t agree, but good talk. I like Danny too! And for the same reasons.

              • Stara
                Stara
                December 7, 2015 at 7:43 pm | #

                To end things on a positive note.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 7, 2015 at 9:05 am | #

      Ehhh, can’t really get on this bandwagon when Amber has been consistently been shown to be an abused figure who has been shown in flashback getting raked over the coals for being “selfish” for existing and who has consistently been shown to be absolutely terrified and nervous about doing things for herself or allowing herself to be cocky outside of a narrow DID alter that she actively works to make as inhuman as possible. And who in flashback has been noted to have spent her entire transition summer actively fighting Ethan’s homophobic parents and trying to keep him safe.

      If any character (besides maybe Becky) has deserved more the right to take some time and be completely selfish, learning how to value self and put it first, then I don’t know who it is.

      Also, she’s been forced from her one of her two methods of escapism at the moment (her computer). And maybe even both (depending on how much time she needs to nurse her injuries), which is not a great psychological place to be after everything she’s gone through.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 7, 2015 at 9:10 am | #

        Don’t you know that failing to be ceaselessly, unrelentingly moral in one stringent way without even the slightest faltering is the only possible way to be a good person? If Amber has the gall to get upset that the person she loves the most might be drifting away from her, or lightly complaining about how it’s hard to see her computer, well, she’s basically a monster.

        • Someone
          Someone
          December 7, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

          I don’t actually think she’s a bad person, she obviously wants to help people. She just has a million issues.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            December 7, 2015 at 9:42 am | #

            Amber doesn’t treat being a good person the same way most people do, she sees “failure” as the absolute worst sin she can commit; that if she isn’t unfailingly moral and just, then she might as well just be shit.

            Or in other words, Amber feels that she needs to prove that she’s a good person.

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 7, 2015 at 7:18 pm | #

        Meh. I have a strong bias: my background was worse than Amber’s and I grew up with friends in similar environments as well as in idyllic environments, and I’ve noticed something across all these circumstances: people are made of strong stuff. Especially grounded and sane people. Part of me is galled by the misrepresentation I see in Amber; part of me is galled by how personal problems as a whole are approached in the comic. It’s a warped and anxious lense. I think Gunnerkrigg Court does a cleaner depiction of people in hard circumstances (and before I get raked over coals for this, I KNOW there is no Blaine in there). The YA book “Define ‘Normal'” is another, even if it has relatively light but more broadly common problems in the main characters. It also shows the value of personality and character over environment (before you all jump on that, I am NOT saying nature over nurture). I think I would be disenchanted by Amber without or with her background.

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 8, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

          Do you have any other personal failings.

          Us grounded insane people need love too.

          • Stara
            Stara
            December 8, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

            I was about to write a reasoned reply. But: OH MY GOD, do the commenters here subsist on mindlessly maintaining a status-quo and making childish equations out of people who don’t agree with them?! How dare you draw statements I have not made of myself from what I’ve written! “U.S. grounded insane people?” You are NOT actually insane, so way to be cute, but stop it.

          • Stara
            Stara
            December 8, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

            Us. Typing on phone, whatever.

  34. Siyajkak
    Siyajkak
    December 7, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

    “Danny, I told you all of this exposition already. Just because I’m a superhero doesn’t mean you need to make me talk like I’m in some serialized comic”

  35. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    December 7, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

    I hate the term ’90s kids’ because if you’re old enough to know what shit was hip in the 90s, then you were born in the 80s.

    /pet peeve of a bitter 80s kid lmao

  36. Shanunu
    Shanunu
    December 7, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

    So, can anyone explain astigmatism to me? The only thing I know about it is that I have it in my right eye. I haven’t had headache issues probably because I’m very nearsighted and basically require glasses to live, but I cannot seem to understand any info I read about it.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      December 7, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

      It’s when the surface of the cornea (which does the heavy lifting of refracting light to form an image on the retina) is not rotationally symmetrical about the axis of the eye. That is, sections of the cornea perpendicular to the axis would be elliptical, not circular. That means a different focal length in different planes: if light entering the top and the bottom of the pupil are brought to a sharp focus on the retina, light entering at the left and light entering at the right might be brought to focus in front of the retina. If the eye accommodated to bring those into focus, the focus in the vertical plane would fall behind the retina. Sharp focuss cannot be achieved with any degree of accommodation.

      It’s corrected with a cylindrical component to the corrective lens, having a dioptre equal to the difference in dioptre of minimum and maximum components of the astigmatic lens, correctly aligned.

    • Deathstalker
      Deathstalker
      December 7, 2015 at 1:11 am | #

      The technical explanation has already been given.

      I will attest with minimal astigmatism that my eyes get tired now, and that’s more my signal to go to sleep right now, compared to simply feeling tired, as they start to hurt.

    • Questionor
      Questionor
      December 7, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

      Astigmatism is when your eye/lens is oddly shaped so the effect is not consistent in all directions. The very basic eye test is an asterisk/star of lines. And they are all the same but some will be blurry to you and some will be clear. The effect is that you have trouble with “detail” technically at any distance. The most common things this will affect is writing and faces. (Hence the delay is recognizing Danny in the comic) I have astigmatism and the glasses are actually like fun house mirrors. If you look through one and turn it 90deg everything will change proportions. They a long time getting used to the first time you get such things. Unlike normal lens which are radial symetrical, these are not. This makes contacts more difficult/expensive. Normal contact will spin all the time and won’t matter. Astigmatism contacts need to have a “top”/”bottom” that stays in the right place. One method is to make the bottom heavier. Also since things get “bigger” the closer they are to your eyes and if you make an l bigger, it stops being a line and becomes a rectangle, people can often read fine w/o glasses by just holding things really close. However computers screens you can’t do that with easily.

      • desolation0
        desolation0
        December 7, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

        Mine is definitely in the not good at any distance category, short of really close so the details are large. Squinting tends to help quite a bit for astigmatic folks as it is the variation over the whole eye that you can not adjust to. Just needing to focus based on a smaller portion of your eye makes it easier to naturally adjust.

        • Questionor
          Questionor
          December 7, 2015 at 10:01 am | #

          oh yea I forgot the squinting part. I used to that a lot before I finally got glasses I could wear all day w/o headaches. It definitely helps a lot. I would mostly only wear my glasses for reading mid to distance. (And yea when I read w/o glasses it is /really/ close) Back then the interesting part was I would recognize people by their gait/walk cause their face was blurry.

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      December 7, 2015 at 10:30 am | #

      One key point about astigmatism, is that glasses won’t correct it like contact lenses will. In the ancient days, before there was a Beast Wars, only hard contact lenses could treat astigmatism, and a quick googling suggests they are still preferred over soft lenses.

      • Kateastrophe
        Kateastrophe
        December 9, 2015 at 4:37 am | #

        I don’t know what kind of astigmatism hard contact lenses are supposed to treat, but as someone with severe astigmatism I was told by my eye doctor never to ever even think about putting hard contact lenses even in the vicinity of my eye.

    • Kateastrophe
      Kateastrophe
      December 9, 2015 at 4:35 am | #

      Your eyes are shaped like footballs instead of eyeballs! Or mine are, at least. I have astigmatism in the very most extreme.

  37. Guairdean
    Guairdean
    December 7, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

    Now I feel old. My grandsons are 90’s kids.

  38. nothri
    nothri
    December 7, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

    81. Technically a Millenial. Like, barely.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 7, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

      I was born 82 and I don’t identify with being a millenial at alllll. I think 80-85 is a weird sub-group. We belong nowhere xD

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 7, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

        All of these generations have at least 5 years slop both ways. I am technically a Boomer, but from the descriptions it is clear I am a leading edge Xer.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 7, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

        1985, here, and I’m considered a millennial. Don’t be ashamed of it, the internet is cool.

        • caesaria82
          caesaria82
          December 7, 2015 at 1:11 am | #

          I know, but isn’t a millenial technically someone who ‘grew up with the internet’? My family got home internet in like 2000, when I was 18 lol, so I feel like this doesn’t apply to me at alllll.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            December 7, 2015 at 3:43 am | #

            nah, its the time period (based on human generation cycle of ~20 years) not the tech. if it was about the tech, we’d break it down very differently, for sure.

            • caesaria82
              caesaria82
              December 7, 2015 at 6:00 am | #

              Ok but the growing up with the internet thing is still an important trait of millenials (I’m just reading a definition). I don’t identify with a lot of the traits in this defintion. So maybe that’s why I never thought I was a millenial. I’m not GenX either though, really. I feel like a weird hybrid lol.

            • Lord Stoneheart
              Lord Stoneheart
              December 7, 2015 at 8:29 am | #

              The time period for what’s considered a generation has always been pretty broad. I mean baby boomers are considered anyone who was born between ’45 and ’65 I think.

              I mean that’s what I’ve been told by baby boomers themselves.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 7, 2015 at 3:27 am | #

          About the same here, but I feel more like a late Gen X than an early Milennial.

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          December 7, 2015 at 10:48 am | #

          ’86 here – definitely generation X. Some of my earliest musical memories are Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit, early Marilyn Manson songs, Madonna ‘s Vogue, En Vogue’s Free Your Mind, TLC’s Waterfalls, Oasis’s Wonderwall, The Verve’s Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Cardigan’s My Favorite Game, No Doubt’s Don’t Speak, Tupac’s California Love, so many others. I think I could snowball like this all night.
          Point is at the very least my musical tastes where shaped by the 90s. And MTV – way back when it only had music and Daria/Beavis&Butt-head/AeonFlux running.
          This got nostalgic FAST.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        December 7, 2015 at 3:41 am | #

        I am from ’82 as well, I definitely identify much more with millennials than Gen X, despite working on my curmudgeon license. I think it really is a person to person thing around that board though.

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          December 7, 2015 at 3:41 am | #

          *boarder
          😛

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 7, 2015 at 1:26 am | #

      1998
      Also barely a millennial, just made it

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        December 7, 2015 at 1:33 am | #

        What are kids younger than millenials called?

        • Solenoid
          Solenoid
          December 7, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

          Their group is too young to have a reliable name yet. Basically, people are arguing over it and the defining moments that form ‘who they are’ largely has yet to happen.

        • Someone
          Someone
          December 7, 2015 at 2:07 am | #

          For now probably generation z

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            December 7, 2015 at 2:12 am | #

            What would they then call the generation after that? Generation Z+?

            • Kelly
              Kelly
              December 7, 2015 at 3:38 am | #

              I think Dr Seuss had something about that…

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        December 7, 2015 at 2:40 pm | #

        My birthday was in December of ’99.
        You freakin’ made it, dude.

  39. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    December 7, 2015 at 12:54 am | #

    Also, all 90s kids lists are always SO North America centric. I never remember any of the stuff because I grew up somewhere else. I’ll remember some toys and food and whatnot, but almost no TV and other media (films occasionally, but we got them dubbed). Basically, I am just really bitter about 90s kids lists, it turns out. LMAO.

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 8, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      It’s because of who makes the lists. What would be on your list?

  40. lime sheep
    lime sheep
    December 7, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

    i guess im a 90s kid. i was born in 93. i dont feel like a 90s kid though because i dont have any memories of being younger than 7

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 7, 2015 at 3:37 am | #

      Naw, you’d be more of a 00s kid than anything. I was born in 82 and while I certainly get some influence from it, the 90s had more influence overall. The “only 90s kids” posts are all very recognizable to me (at least the ones that aren’t half a decade or more off…)

  41. Professor Fate
    Professor Fate
    December 7, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

    “The past is a fun place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”

    I witnessed the birth of Rock N’ Roll and the ‘discovery’ of Rhythm and Blues. The Beatles, The Who, The Dead, U2, Nirvana, Rush, KC and the Sunshine Band, ABBA, Aretha Franklin, Anya, Chuck Berry, SoundGarden, Britney Spears; lots of fine music over the years. I’m happy where I am now. 😀

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

      I saw the video for “Baby Hit Me One More Time” and my reaction was not to drool over a hot chick or be repelled by a sleazy tramp.

      My reaction was to purse my lips and say “I am concerned because I do not think this Music Video sends the Right Message to the Young Women Of Today.”

      So it was Britney Spears who proved I was officially middle-aged.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      December 7, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

      The downside is that you had to also witness things like Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber.

      • desolation0
        desolation0
        December 7, 2015 at 2:45 am | #

        We have plenty of worse acts in our history. Those two are just some of the most recent blips in an old trend.

        • LastDawnOfMan
          LastDawnOfMan
          December 7, 2015 at 2:59 am | #

          Yeah there were plenty of horrors in decades past…Neil Sadaka…The Carpenters…Tiny Tim…argh..

          • inqntrol
            inqntrol
            December 7, 2015 at 3:38 am | #

            Drawn Togheter. I mean seriously, that show should have been called WTF, because you bately had any idea what you were watching.

            • inqntrol
              inqntrol
              December 7, 2015 at 3:38 am | #

              *barely

              • Clif
                Clif
                December 8, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

                Tiny Tim was actually pretty good if you turned off a section of your brain.

  42. Victor Riley
    Victor Riley
    December 7, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

    Don’t go knockin’ Nirvana, youngun.

    Kids today with their Miley Biebers…

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      December 7, 2015 at 9:00 am | #

      And their Ariana Manaj…

      • Rheinman137
        Rheinman137
        December 7, 2015 at 1:06 pm | #

        I thought Ariana Grande was a font.

        • Falling Star
          Falling Star
          December 7, 2015 at 2:41 pm | #

          Nope, she helped sing ‘Bang Bang’.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            December 7, 2015 at 3:03 pm | #

            Though to be fair, I first thought it was a new Starbucks size…

  43. Crowgirl
    Crowgirl
    December 7, 2015 at 1:15 am | #

    Ironically, Amber is wearing the exact same overalls that I wore through a big chunk of the 90s.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      December 7, 2015 at 1:32 am | #

      The have worn well.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 8, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

        That’s what Amber’s mom said when she found them at Crowgirl’s garage sale.

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      December 7, 2015 at 2:44 pm | #

      I used to love those as a kid.

  44. Emma
    Emma
    December 7, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

    Haha woo I knew she had ny exact eye care struggles! My insurance is stellar though, it paid for my new glasses almost completely.

    • desolation0
      desolation0
      December 7, 2015 at 2:50 am | #

      I just bought two of those ultra flexible and relatively indestructible titanium frames, knowing I would break one pair. Tip – the super flexy frames are much more destructible when chilled to near freezing in a cold room. I have been replacing the lenses in the one that did not snap for cheap online ever since.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        December 7, 2015 at 10:00 am | #

        I’ve gotten mine repaired after I unwittingly jumped on them once. The nose-bridge part broke in two and so I had to travel to another country to get them fixed, as I never found a frame I actually liked to replace them. The actual fixing didn’t cost me anything extra since I ordered new lenses at the same time – the old ones where horribly outdated for my eyes.
        It’s been over 14 years since I first put them on – titanium, slightly-flexy.

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          December 7, 2015 at 10:14 am | #

          Oh, and about 5 years ago had to replace both lockers – one shortly after the other. I managed to fix the first by myself with careful application of thread via needlework, but the other locker had to be replaced – yet again – in another country. 😛
          Damn I wish Fielmann (German optics company) opened a branch here. I can’t trust these antiques to anyone else. >.>

  45. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 7, 2015 at 1:44 am | #

    I’m so glad Amber has Danny to look out for her.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 7, 2015 at 9:16 am | #

      Well, he definitely cares about her a lot and it’s been made clear that Amber relies on him a lot for emotional support, but like Dorothy I think he has a romanticized view of Amber that interferes with supporting her in the way she actually she needs.

      It looks like the only person who realizes how poisonous the double life actually is to Amber is Ethan.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        December 7, 2015 at 11:41 am | #

        Danny, having a romanticised view? Oh my hat!

        Yeah, of course you are right. But he is there for her. That is very important.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 7, 2015 at 11:45 am | #

          Yeah, as long as this is their “normal” then Danny’s doing fine, but eventually something’s going to break and he’ll have to step up.

          Whether that means he wants to start openly dating Amber, or Amber starts pushing herself further into her other identity, well, we’ll see.

  46. CrisKrzysiu
    CrisKrzysiu
    December 7, 2015 at 1:54 am | #

    Hi. Just a quick question. How much does lenses cost in UK that You have to save some money to buy them.?

    • MLEst1
      MLEst1
      December 7, 2015 at 2:02 am | #

      Do you mean the US? If so, I regularly receive flyers in the mail advertising a pair of glasses for $99 as a good deal. Additionally I believe your prescription can expire and after a that point you have to get re-examined before you can buy a new pair. And if you don’t have a lot of spare cash, $100 for something that will cause long-term issues but no true day-to-day drama isn’t super high on your to do list…

    • CJ
      CJ
      December 7, 2015 at 2:21 am | #

      Don’t know about the US or UK, but the actual lenses are the most expensive part of “glasses”. And I suppose Amber wears not glass but the more expensive synthethic ones as they are lighter and less likely to splinter badly when they break.
      So depending on which quality of lens she chooses, it’s between 30 and 150 Dollars for lenses only correcting astigmatism. (my progressive multifocals are 10 times more expensive – insurance not covering your lenses sucks).

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        December 7, 2015 at 3:32 am | #

        CR39, at least, is AFAIK cheaper than glass lenses these days. Polycarbonate is more expensive than CR39. Not sure how polycarbonate compares to glass in cost.

        Trivex and high-index plastic are the most expensive – though when the price of lenses really racks up is when you talk bifocals/trifocals, gradient, photo-grey, etc.

        • WaytoomanyUIDs
          WaytoomanyUIDs
          December 7, 2015 at 4:10 am | #

          In the UK many NHS Trusts cover glass lenses but not plastic. Many Trusts will pay for prescription sunglasses but not for photochromic coatings, or anti-scratch coatiings. For all of those you pay out your own pocket, but most Trusts will allow the optician to subtract the cost of a “standard” pair of glasses.

          Basically when it comes to eye and dental care the NHS is a bit pants at best.

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            December 7, 2015 at 9:48 am | #

            Plastic lenses are a luxury item and most coatings are cheaper then the standard lenses, unless you want to get the really fancy stuff. Considering the basics are covered free of charge, your statement comes off as entitled. NHS has other problems, but this isn’t one of them, at least not from the info you’ve provided.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            December 7, 2015 at 8:51 pm | #

            “In the UK many NHS Trusts cover glass lenses but not plastic.”

            WTF? That’s terrible. Glass is so heavy, and I’ll take shatterproof plastic with more chance of a scratch over shattered glass. Around here it can actually be hard to get glass lenses, and even if you find a place with them, they usually try to discourage you from getting them.

            • DarkVeghetta
              DarkVeghetta
              December 7, 2015 at 9:19 pm | #

              In 17 years I have had the chance to have my glass lenses pop out of my frames more then once – not once did they actually shatter. In 17 years. WHERE did you pick up this fear of shattering lenses? Those things are quite hard.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 7, 2015 at 8:37 am | #

      My last pair of glasses cost around £170 (say about $200). However, about 75% of that was the cost of the frames. That said, my lenses are subsidised by our National Health Service because I’m diabetic, so the cost I pay probably isn’t representative of the market cost.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        December 7, 2015 at 9:36 am | #

        What does your blood-sugar have to do with cheaper eye care?

        • BenRG
          BenRG
          December 7, 2015 at 10:09 am | #

          Diabetes includes a much higher statistical likelihood of a wide range of visual impairments and conditions (including cataracts) so free eye care and reduced price for corrective lenses is part of the care package.

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            December 7, 2015 at 12:00 pm | #

            Interesting, interesting. Thanks for the information.

  47. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    December 7, 2015 at 1:59 am | #

    …..and their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

    • theheroesofcrash
      theheroesofcrash
      December 7, 2015 at 5:45 am | #

      Darn; you beat me to it.

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      December 7, 2015 at 2:45 pm | #

      ‘…and their Cowabungas.’
      fixed that for you

    • Dafydd
      Dafydd
      December 7, 2015 at 11:25 pm | #

      TMNT were an 80’s thing — along with Transformers, Thunder Cats, My Little Pony…damn…

      • Pyr05
        Pyr05
        December 10, 2015 at 2:08 am | #

        TMNT technically started in the 80’s, but went through into ’96

  48. Kateastrophe
    Kateastrophe
    December 7, 2015 at 2:00 am | #

    As someone with severe astigmatism (in coordination with several other optical ailments such as congenital cataracts and photophobia), it never occurred to me that people with astigmatism but without my host of other issues wouldn’t be near-sighted or far-sighted. As it stands, I’m both, so… *shrug* But I have never let eye strain keep me from reading buzzfeed articles, at least!

    • Sunny
      Sunny
      December 7, 2015 at 5:40 am | #

      Wait… are you saying that you’re both nearsighted and farsighted? How does that even work?

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        December 7, 2015 at 9:34 am | #

        Cataracts.

      • Urukak
        Urukak
        December 7, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

        I have one nearsighted parent and one farsighted parent. I’m nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in the other (hell if I can remember which is which though), so my eyes have two different prescriptions. Like Amber though, my eyes aren’t bad enough that I generally have much trouble seeing without my glasses, and my prescriptions have been getting closer together as I’ve aged, so for all I know I might eventually not need glasses anymore.

        Or maybe they’ll fly right past each other and my nearsighted eye will turn farsighted and vice versa.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          December 7, 2015 at 2:47 pm | #

          My husband is also nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in the other. His glasses are a bongo to replace. :/

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        December 7, 2015 at 8:25 pm | #

        As a couple of people have suggested, it’s perfectly possible to be shortsighted in one eye and longsighted in the other. Another thing is that one way to describe astigmatism is that the focussing element (cornea in this case, not lens) has one focal length in its long axis and a shorter focal length in its short axis. If the retina was in between the two foci the astigmatic eye could then be described as longsighted in one direction (for instance up and down) and shortsighted in the other direction (left and right).

        • Kateastrophe
          Kateastrophe
          December 9, 2015 at 4:42 am | #

          Bingo! Seriously, my optometrist loves looking at my eyes. They’re textbook worst-case-scenario-short-of-legal-blindness. If I get glaucoma on top of everything else I’m scooping ’em out with a spoon.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        December 7, 2015 at 9:16 pm | #

        It is actually quite common to have one dioptre in one eye and the other to have another one. Heck, over one’s lifetime the difference can shift dramatically – one eye can evolve slowly in a direction and the other much faster. Humans, we’re funny that way.

      • Kateastrophe
        Kateastrophe
        December 9, 2015 at 4:40 am | #

        Basically the thing that goes wrong in the eye to make them nearsighted AND the thing that goes wrong in the eye to make them farsighted are both present in my eyes! Also cataracts, which means I basically have no low light vision. I won the terrible eye genetic lottery.

  49. Lia47
    Lia47
    December 7, 2015 at 2:22 am | #

    WHOA these college age characters aren’t 90s kids

    WHOA THESE COLLEGE AGE CHARACTERS ARE A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  50. seventhsword2
    seventhsword2
    December 7, 2015 at 2:30 am | #

    screw you Danny, The Power Rangers are the best thing ever

  51. Well_Played
    Well_Played
    December 7, 2015 at 2:32 am | #

    I was born in 84′ so I was an 80’s baby but a 90’s kid. I loved the 90’s due to the fact that we had so many cartoons(because of major networks like USA,TBS,ABC,NBC etc. wanted to get our attention and money) and the golden/silver age of gaming. Also the Disney afternoon was the shiz.

  52. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 7, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

    Ah yes, the 1990s! That optimistic decade between the end of the Cold War and the realisation that the victors’ only plan for the new era of peace was “Loot the world and repeatedly count the money”!

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 7, 2015 at 3:32 am | #

      That’s the human nature. Nothing you can do about it.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 7, 2015 at 6:09 am | #

      And then we got a sharp kick in our national complacency, and a new day to live in infamy. (And a new set of boogeymen to replace the old.)

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 8, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

        Your despair is good for the economy.

  53. WolfPup
    WolfPup
    December 7, 2015 at 2:48 am | #

    Here is a GREAT T-shirt for Dina
    http://imgur.com/74j11RA

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 7, 2015 at 8:54 pm | #

      She’ll be upset that it is hyphenated.
      (It’s “T. rex”. Capital letter, period, space, lower case species name)

  54. HiiroArana79
    HiiroArana79
    December 7, 2015 at 3:32 am | #

    Darn nineties kids with their malt shops and hula hoops! Bah!

  55. Just for kix
    Just for kix
    December 7, 2015 at 5:53 am | #

    Bah, I am an 80s kid, and 90s kid got nothin on me!

  56. Mom
    Mom
    December 7, 2015 at 6:42 am | #

    85 and I loved watching Beast Wars.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 7, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

      Everyone loved Beast Wars. It’s a universal singularity of awesomeness.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 7, 2015 at 6:07 pm | #

        I wouldn’t say universal. Otherwise we’d never have Trukk not munky….

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 7, 2015 at 6:32 pm | #

          When Beast Wars was released it caused a space-time implosion that defined it as the best thing ever for all time, its quality etched in the atoms of the universe.

          for srs tho, I remember when I started seeing more Transformer stuff as I got older and couldn’t care about it because “why is Optimus turning into a car?”

  57. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    December 7, 2015 at 8:13 am | #

    But… The Breakfast Club…

    • Dafydd
      Dafydd
      December 7, 2015 at 11:27 pm | #

      Breakfast Club was 1985. You 90’s kids got My So-Called LIfe.

  58. altalemur
    altalemur
    December 7, 2015 at 8:34 am | #

    if she can’t read a computer screen, i’m betting her homework is going to lag behind, or at the least the computer class homework is going to be even more of a headache than usual.

  59. Spencer
    Spencer
    December 7, 2015 at 8:41 am | #

    Amber should wear a huge yellow trenchcoat, pink wrap-around sunglasses, and throw fireworks at people.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 10:11 pm | #

      She needs a tutor!

      [Runs off to the slashfic production room.]

  60. Wublub
    Wublub
    December 7, 2015 at 8:59 am | #

    I can’t tell if Amber is just pretending to not realize Danny’s talking about the mask, or actually doesn’t get it.
    Or maybe he really is just asking about her glasses.

  61. Robzilla
    Robzilla
    December 7, 2015 at 9:09 am | #

    You DO realize that corporations have been considered “people” since the time of our Founding Fathers, don’t you? I’ll just assume that Danny doesn’t.

    William Blackstone, in the 1700s – “it has been found necessary, when it is for the advantage of the public” to “constitute artificial persons, who may maintain a perpetual succession, and enjoy a kind of legal immortality. These artificial persons are called … corporations.”

    • random832
      random832
      December 7, 2015 at 9:22 am | #

      There are varying degrees of “person”-ness. Being called “artificial persons” is not actually the same as giving them all of the same constitutional rights as real people.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        December 7, 2015 at 4:35 pm | #

        Which they don’t have, and no-one is proposing to give them. The SCOTUS decision in Citizen United did not rule that corporations have First Amendment rights as artifical legal person. It ruled that associations of natural persons have First Amendment rights even if they incorporate.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          December 7, 2015 at 5:49 pm | #

          Well, some corporations now have religion and religious freedom – to get exemptions from regulation at least. The Hobby Lobby case extended that further than it had been before.
          There’s definitely been a change in how the legal fiction of corporate personhood has been understood.

          • Agemegos
            Agemegos
            December 7, 2015 at 8:33 pm | #

            Good point, though it might be a good idea to check the actual decisions and make sure that it is not legal the shareholders who have the rights and exercise them collectively. For example, in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. the majority opinion of the court did not address the defendant’s claims under the Free Exercise Clause. Rather, it argued that the purpose of extending rights to corporations is to protect the rights of shareholders, officers, and employees. It said that “allowing Hobby Lobby, Conestoga, and Mardel to assert RFRA claims protects the religious liberty of the Greens and the Hahns”, i.e. the rights of the shareholders as natural persons.

  62. HMRC4EVR
    HMRC4EVR
    December 7, 2015 at 9:38 am | #

    That file of Amber’s is most if 90’s Kid entire life–when he’s not making AWESOME weapons for Linkara.

  63. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    December 7, 2015 at 10:56 am | #

    the real lesson about busted glasses is to keep a hard copy of your prescription close at hand, because you might find yourself on a trip away from home, in a place that would have a replacement pair in your hands for cheap and for quick, if only you had that prescription with you

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      December 7, 2015 at 12:06 pm | #

      Most good optics shops can also provide you with a fresh prescription.
      That sed, I’m still on my second pair of frames, but I’ve gone through 4 to 6 lenses (it’s been 17 years, hence I can’t really remember which number is more accurate… 5?).

      • Ryek Hvek
        Ryek Hvek
        December 7, 2015 at 5:20 pm | #

        Strictly a state-by-state situation in the US. Florida would have replacements in no time, and they could ‘read’ the prescription from the existing pair of glasses. Other states can want that piece of paper, and will accept no substitutes (but will happily sell you a new prescription in place of the paper you could have been carrying in your wallet, and in result, possibly triple the price of the replacement pair)

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          December 7, 2015 at 9:12 pm | #

          Interesting. Over here in Europe, a fresh prescription is always the cheapest part of getting new glasses. Heck, some professional opticians offer them for free if you get a new pair from them.

  64. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    December 7, 2015 at 12:04 pm | #

    Better yet, when you invest 100 dollars or more in a pair of glasses, invest an additional five to ten dollars in a sturdy case for them.

    In the case or on your face.

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      December 7, 2015 at 12:12 pm | #

      There are also side-opening (via spiffy button) metal cases – very handy for a jacket pocket.

  65. Dorje Sylas
    Dorje Sylas
    December 7, 2015 at 12:31 pm | #

    I remember the dark times when a Man and a Corporation were unable to express their love and affection openly, and be bound in a state of federally recognized civil union, being both people under the law…. Oh wait, we haven’t reached that point in the time stream yet. Disregard this. 2030 kids will have something to be proud of.

  66. Stranger
    Stranger
    December 7, 2015 at 12:49 pm | #

    UUUUUUUUGHHH 90’s kids shit, I HATE it. I grew up in that stupid decade too, its like the fucking baby boomers who wont shut up about the 60’s, no one cares! Your precious childhood was just as crappy as everyone elses, and it wont come back no matter how hard you wish for it.

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      December 7, 2015 at 2:49 pm | #

      Dude, whoa.
      We can’t control the situations we’re born in to, and we also can’t help but feel a little nostalgic about the things we grew up with.
      Please don’t dump on someone because of the things they liked as a child.
      Thanks,
      Falling Star

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        December 7, 2015 at 9:10 pm | #

        You know… you’re nice. *thumbs up*

  67. Noclevername
    Noclevername
    December 7, 2015 at 12:52 pm | #

    I thought Danny’s gesture in panel 1 was referring to her mask, not glasses.

  68. JimmyJoe III
    JimmyJoe III
    December 7, 2015 at 1:15 pm | #

    But…they’re in college. They’re all at least 18. That puts their birth dates at 1997 or earlier. They ARE 90s kids. :u

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      December 7, 2015 at 2:54 pm | #

      I am too, but I would categorize myself as the new generation because I don’t remember anything from the nineties.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 7, 2015 at 6:36 pm | #

      Being born in ’97 and calling yourself a nineties kid would be like being born during WWII calling yourself a veteran.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 7, 2015 at 6:37 pm | #

      Besides, a few years from now they won’t be born in the 90s.

  69. Mada
    Mada
    December 7, 2015 at 2:24 pm | #

    I’ve read that “Stuff only 90s kids will get” article. Its fun 🙂

  70. wakeangel2001
    wakeangel2001
    December 7, 2015 at 2:50 pm | #

    man, when these people were in Shortpacked they were my age, now they’re more than 10 years younger than me…stupid cartoons and their not aging…

  71. John
    John
    December 7, 2015 at 3:06 pm | #

    Yay, Willis actually put this in a comic so when people keep going “wait how can Amazi-Girl see when she’s not wearing her glasses” (which I don’t expect to stop just because it’s been explained in the strip), I have something I can cite instead of just repeating what he said once in a comment or on Tumblr or somewhere, I don’t remember.

  72. Shadow12000
    Shadow12000
    December 7, 2015 at 3:56 pm | #

    And our ReBoot. Don’t forget our ReBoot. And that our ReBoot is getting a reboot! 😀

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      December 7, 2015 at 5:22 pm | #

      Is Megabyte going to be replaced by Terrorbyte?

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 7, 2015 at 5:33 pm | #

      Do Hack and Slash write fanfic?

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 7, 2015 at 6:32 pm | #

      I remember Reboot, and I’m most certainly a millennial (born 1994).

      Then again, I’m also Canadian. We got everything later than America.

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 7, 2015 at 6:53 pm | #

        Reboot was an exception to that, I think.

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      December 7, 2015 at 7:45 pm | #

      there will also be Gigabyte, the villain’s spunky kid sister, who will be nicknamed Gigi

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 7, 2015 at 8:00 pm | #

      ehhh, it’s slated to be live action, not excited =|

      • Ryek Hvek
        Ryek Hvek
        December 7, 2015 at 8:16 pm | #

        maybe if Sid and Marty Krofft produce it :^)

  73. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 7, 2015 at 4:09 pm | #

    Amber should have gone to Specsavers.

  74. Kugai
    Kugai
    December 7, 2015 at 4:35 pm | #

    Well, that explains the no glasses, and just why she can get away with not wearing them. I wonder how she explained the broken glasses to her mom?

    Hmmmm

    Would Amber be a Daria fan if she saw it?

  75. MW
    MW
    December 7, 2015 at 4:58 pm | #

    2000-2005 was a good time to have a childhood
    2006-2009 sucked balls

    • Peduncle
      Peduncle
      December 7, 2015 at 6:42 pm | #

      It doesn’t depend on the decade. It depends on mom and dad.

      • MW
        MW
        December 7, 2015 at 8:43 pm | #

        Moms and dads seemed to decline in quality when the iPhone came out.

        • Peduncle
          Peduncle
          December 7, 2015 at 9:03 pm | #

          I apologize for my facile response. My mom and dad were in the rotary-dial, party-line era. They made up for a lot of the decade’s shortcomings.

    • Dafydd
      Dafydd
      December 7, 2015 at 11:30 pm | #

      I was going to make a snide remark about 2000-2005 having all that terrorism and Afghanistan and Iraq and whatnot — then I remembered I grew up at the tail end of the Cold War. :/

  76. Cat
    Cat
    December 7, 2015 at 5:26 pm | #

    goggles4u.com New pair of glasses for less than $15 including shipping. Been using them for years. (Of course, it could take a couple weeks – best to buy a spare, while you’re at it.)

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      December 7, 2015 at 8:38 pm | #

      I checked the site. They offer prescription eyeglasses for distance and for reading, bifocals and progressives. But they don’t offer glasses for astigmatism.

      Lenses for astigmatism are tricky: they are expensive to grind because the shape doesn’t have circular symmetry. Also, they have to be mounted at the correct angle in the frames.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        December 7, 2015 at 8:59 pm | #

        Zenni Optical is really cheap, and does lenses for astigmatism.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          December 7, 2015 at 9:57 pm | #

          Cool.

  77. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    December 7, 2015 at 9:41 pm | #

    One can also buy frames for cheap on eBay and send them on to a mail-order lab for the lenses of your choice. This is one way to get old-school frames with the big lenses that are good for progressive (Varilux) prescriptions.

  78. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    December 7, 2015 at 11:49 pm | #

    Do you remember Bobby’s world? It was a good showwww!

  79. Jhon
    Jhon
    December 8, 2015 at 8:17 pm | #

    So, no killing spiders for a while.

  80. Betrayer
    Betrayer
    March 2, 2016 at 5:52 pm | #

    Corporations aren’t considered people now anymore than the were in the nineties, and corporate personhood (which only means corporations have to follow the same laws as people) existed long before Citizens United. Guy is going to college, and he doesn’t know the meaning of the word “precedent”?

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