Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
RSS
‹
›
  • Home
  • About/Read before posting
  • Archive↓
    • by calendar
  • Cast
  • Store↓
    • Main Store (books and stuff)
    • T-shirts
  • Patreon↓
    • Patreon (regular)
    • Patreon (NSFW)
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
the penises touch
First Previous Random 331Comments Share Next Latest
Reddit Digg Facebook MySpace Delicious Stumbleupon Buzz Up! Mixx Technorati Google Bookmarks Yahoo Bookmarks Yahoo MyWeb Windows Live Propeller FriendFeed Newsvine Xanga LinkedIn Blinklist Twitter
Discover more Hiveworks comics
Kochab
Sarah Webb
A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Within
Verena Loisel
A young hitman meanders between a reality that seems to happen without him, and his dreams where he is lost in an endless house. When he makes an accidental friend, his world is shaken up and he realizes there are things he can't remember about himself.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
The Last Diplomat
Cat Farris
Samma and Tark didn't ask to be stuck together, but now they're partners on the adventure of a lifetime.
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Ride or Die
Mars Heyward
Ride or Die is an LGBTQ webcomic about two street racers who team up with a demon-possessed muscle car in the search for a missing woman, while being hunted by a deadly religious cult.
Scape
Lauren
Sula has always preferred to forge her own path, but before she knows it, she is pulled into the middle of a civil war between man and monster!
Not Drunk Enough
Tess Stone
Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Headless Bliss
Clover
A story about story-telling, and other metaphysical themes such as Nightmares! (Failed) Teamwork! Comedy! And more!
Trying Human
IntroducingEmy
Two women separated by over half a century are brought together by an alien-filled conspiracy involving murder, mystery and romance!
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
This is Not Fiction
Nicole Mannino
What do you do when the person you're in-love with is an anonymous romance novelist? Get your best friend to hire your worst enemy for help!
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Alexander, The Servant & The Water of Life
Reimena Yee
The 21st century retelling of the life and legends of Alexander the Great.
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Gzhel Guardian
Atla Hrafney, nushanchel
The Railway World is a complex, mysterious network of trains, towns and mechanical monsters. Leo is a Guardian of one of these towns, and although their burn-out and depression has taken hold of them, they have one last job to finish.
The Forgotten Order
Christy
A young witch for whom every spell is a misfire finds solace and friendship in her new companion - a cursed doll.
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
Goodbye to Halos
Valerie Halla
Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Aquapunk
Lo
In an underwater world of unknown coordinates, inhabited by aliens, ghosts, and robots, a young member of a warrior underclass is framed for a crime and goes on the run. Little does he know he is part of a grand design that only gods and ancestors could choreograph.
Quick$ilver
Crypto
The flirtatious, directionless, and ever disastrous Luci searches for excitement in a life of crime, and finds himself caught in a web of messy romance and bad blood.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Sleepless Domain
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Missing Monday
Elle Skinner
Two girls fall in love through a magic door connecting their worlds. When Monday suddenly goes missing, it's up to Foyle to find her. How she's going to navigate an entirely unfamiliar world is another matter.
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG. At least, he was, and that was the idea... Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
The Substitutes
Myisha Haynes
What happens when three roommates accidentally acquire otherworldly and powerful magic weapons destined for someone else?
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
The End
August Brown, Cory Brown
Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
BOOKMARK
Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
Goto TagClear Tag


BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

May 12, 2026

Slashfic

by David M Willis on December 17, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - That Perfect Girl
└ Tags: danny, ethan

Discussion (331) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 17, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    > you, uh, wouldn’t happen to want to try out some moves, would you

    > asking for a friend

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      “Lots of perfectly straight men experiment with gay rumpy-pumpy action, I read it in Cleo”.

      • DaveM
        DaveM
        December 17, 2015 at 4:05 am | #

        “It’s not really gay if you’re doing it to disprove someone else’s slashfic”

        • Sam
          Sam
          December 17, 2015 at 12:51 pm | #

          Exactly. It’s just journalism.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      December 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Oh so this is where your grav is from.

    • Steampunkette
      Steampunkette
      December 17, 2015 at 1:28 am | #

      The two words that lead invariably to violence, sex, or violent sex in every fanfic should be Danny’s next sentence.

      Prove it.

      • IRL Name TBD
        IRL Name TBD
        December 17, 2015 at 2:42 am | #

        Those two words are what proves it? oh yeah?

        Well…

        Prove it.

        Requesting proof for a friend >.>

    • Znayx
      Znayx
      December 17, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

      How did you get a grav from that far ahead what even– you– There’s rules where you can’t talk about time travel, I bet. Well I know the truth! No use hiding it anymore! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 17, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

        Two words: Preview panels.

        • Znayx
          Znayx
          December 17, 2015 at 1:57 am | #

          sniff
          sob sob
          I truly thought I’d found a time traveller… Why, cruel world!

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            December 17, 2015 at 2:34 am | #

            We’re all traveling through time.

            • Shadow Eagle
              Shadow Eagle
              December 17, 2015 at 7:47 am | #

              No, we’re traveling along with TIME

              • Yet_One_More_Idiot
                Yet_One_More_Idiot
                December 17, 2015 at 9:33 pm | #

                Nope, Time is travelling through us. We’re only ephemeral beings, doomed to finite lifespans. Time is infinite, it has the right of way so it travels through us, not the other way round.

                Mind=blown, lol. 😛

          • IRL Name TBD
            IRL Name TBD
            December 17, 2015 at 2:45 am | #

            Well hold on, no need to rule anything out…

  2. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    December 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    “Maybe *we* should figure it, you know, as friends…” 😉

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      It’s only gay if the penises touch. Since yours will be in my butt, they won’t be touching. Nothing gay about that.

      • Mr. Mendo
        Mr. Mendo
        December 17, 2015 at 4:58 am | #

        Or, my favorite, “It’s not gay if you say ‘good game’ afterward!”

        • Screwball
          Screwball
          December 17, 2015 at 10:29 am | #

          What about “It’s only gay if our balls tough”? I’ve heard of that one. Don’t think it’ll work tho, no professor on meatsack biology, but I don’t think that’s how it works…

          • Screwball
            Screwball
            December 17, 2015 at 10:47 am | #

            TouCH, not tough. LOL missed that one… 😛

          • gwalla
            gwalla
            December 17, 2015 at 12:34 pm | #

            IIRC that was originally a joke about threesomes.

    • Inkblot
      Inkblot
      December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      If this comic goes in that direction even remotely, I will be so happy you don’t even know

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        December 17, 2015 at 1:08 am | #

        Man I’ll be so happy if it makes them happy. I adore Ethan, and Danny deserves to be happy too even if he’s a little boring. I worry that them banging would only either lead to, or be caused by, total heartbreak though (It is The Willis. Good Things don’t happen to characters)

        • brumagem
          brumagem
          December 17, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

          Not true. Becky got to see her dad in cuffs and got a girlfriend. The key is that a character must PAY DEARLY TO THE TRAGEDY GODS before they get any lasting happiness.

          Except Walky. All he gets is grade troubles and an awesome girlfriend, and a free pass to not participate more than a little in others’ drama.

          • MutantSentry
            MutantSentry
            December 17, 2015 at 12:16 pm | #

            That is Walky’s superpower. He is Teflon Boy!

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 17, 2015 at 12:22 pm | #

            You say that, but I’m waiting for the third shoe to drop.

            • Sam
              Sam
              December 17, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

              He only owns a single pair at a time. Pretty sure he doesnt hv a third shoe.

            • beoluve
              beoluve
              December 17, 2015 at 1:07 pm | #

              On his head, most likely

    • iforgetwhatiputhere
      iforgetwhatiputhere
      December 17, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

      Next panel is both of them on youporn going “ooooh, that’s how it works” then Ethan spots Danny has, ahem, some trouble standing up…

      • Inkblot
        Inkblot
        December 17, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

        Pornhub is where it’s at, mate

        • brumagem
          brumagem
          December 17, 2015 at 10:06 am | #

          Or Xtube if you’re into weird shit.

          • Screwball
            Screwball
            December 17, 2015 at 10:59 am | #

            Thankyooooooou, internet…

            *Writes down info…*

            What? Daniel the Human won’t let me sign up for any sites, so I gotta research Humans in other places… Now let’s see… *[Blocked]* What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo…….!!!!

            • Betty Anne
              Betty Anne
              December 17, 2015 at 12:05 pm | #

              I should really just copy my husband’s browser history for you, Screwball. XD I told him our daughter’s not even allowed to use his computer anymore, because typing “yo” into his address bar automatically auto-completes with youporn now instead of youtube. :/

              And no, mine doesn’t have that problem. :p “Yo” brings up youtube (and “d” brings up “dumbingofage,” but that’s a different story :p). I search for weird shit as a writer and artist, but it stays out of my auto-completes. :p

              • Rutee
                Rutee
                December 17, 2015 at 12:23 pm | #

                Haha. That’s pretty excellent, I’d forgotten about that as a thing modern era parents would have to deal with XD

              • Stewart
                Stewart
                December 17, 2015 at 3:28 pm | #

                Hasn’t your husband ever heard of incognito browsing?!

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  December 17, 2015 at 8:51 pm | #

                  He can’t even keep viruses and malware off his computer, much less remember to set anything to incognito. :p

              • Screwball
                Screwball
                December 17, 2015 at 10:49 pm | #

                Daniel the Human’s got something called “Parental Controls” activated on this thing, I can’t get through. If this were Cybertronian tech, I’d get through easy, but your Human tech is just too different… 🙁

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          December 17, 2015 at 10:45 am | #

          Sadly Pornhub won’t run on my old FF anymore (Firefox10.0 – because customization/control and SpeedDial). Still, I’m more partial to xHamster and XVideos anyway.

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        December 17, 2015 at 8:53 am | #

        I’d think that that would lead to them slow-dancing.
        Which would also be acceptable.

      • ubuntu4ever
        ubuntu4ever
        December 17, 2015 at 12:25 pm | #

        Motherless.com my friends. You’re welcome.

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 17, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Peg-D inserts into Slot-A

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      “Here’s a brand new copy of the TJ & Amal Omnibus for reference”

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        December 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        “haha more like BJ and Anal amirite”

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      Danny: “Is it working?”

      Ethan: “I’m not sure. Let me see that diagram again.”

      Danny: “Says here, Slot-A.”

      Ethan: “Well here’s our problem. These are the wrong instructions.”

      Danny: “Then what have we been doing for the past hour?!”

      They look at the perfectly assembled Ikea shelving unit that now stands in the middle of the room.

      Danny: “I’m not an expert, but I don’t think that’s gay sex.”

      Ethan (ecstatic): “It’s better! Now I can display all my Combiner Wars figures!”

      • Safgaftsa
        Safgaftsa
        December 17, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

        http://imgur.com/cYQKqEs

        • Screwball
          Screwball
          December 17, 2015 at 11:03 am | #

          XD Give this meatsack an internet or 2. If fact, give both the Doctor & Safgaftsa a few internets each… 😛

      • Anywhere
        Anywhere
        December 17, 2015 at 1:23 am | #

        that is peak Ethan

      • TheNinthShader
        TheNinthShader
        December 17, 2015 at 8:21 am | #

        You win several internets.

  4. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    December 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Gay sex mechanics are things that need to be worked out in video games.

    • Mr k
      Mr k
      December 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      I’m pretty sure you can find some. I’m not posting any links.

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 17, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

        In my day you had to pick it up from dirty books.

      • Solenoid
        Solenoid
        December 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

        You’ll figure it out if you fiddle around with the joystick a bit, I’m sure.

      • Trapezoid
        Trapezoid
        December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        Hello, I’m from Sales; I hear you’re one of Legal’s golden boys.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        You’d better not post links. Link is a gay swordsman! Not a gay mechanic!

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          December 17, 2015 at 8:51 am | #

          So, Mario then? He’s a plumber, but, that’s closer.

          Got it! Post Ratchet And Clanks!

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            December 17, 2015 at 8:55 am | #

            How would that even work?

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            December 17, 2015 at 12:08 pm | #

            GDI, worst let-down ever. I saw “Ratchet” and for just a split second thought maybe someone had found Transformers porn I haven’t found yet. 🙁

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Is that any relation to jiggle-physics?

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 17, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

        I believe it’s called “dangle-physics”.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      “Don’t worry, men have a yaoi hole”.

      • Silvester Crow
        Silvester Crow
        December 17, 2015 at 1:19 am | #

        This was the best comment I’ve seen that reminds me of Anime with a trap that isn’t a trap, and a blonde with eroge obsession and a cute face while I’m sleep deprived.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 17, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

          Gotta admit, I certainly didn’t see that one coming.

    • Scoops
      Scoops
      December 17, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

      “Hello sir. I’m the mechanic you called for. I hear your car isn’t running?”

      “Yeah. I think it’s the crankshaft.”

      “Well, let me take a look at it.”

      “Here it is. Do you think you can help?”

      “Yeah, I could crank that shaft.”

      Bow chika bow-wow.

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        December 17, 2015 at 11:07 am | #

        *Cue cheezy porn music here…*

  5. Cephalo the Pod
    Cephalo the Pod
    December 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    “Do the…do the dicks ever touch each other?”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      But it’s not truly gay until balls touch.

      • Guairdean
        Guairdean
        December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        It’s not truly gay until balls touch what?

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          December 17, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

          Anything. Therefore, Getting kicked in the balls is pretty gay.

          • Inkblot
            Inkblot
            December 17, 2015 at 1:47 am | #

            S’like an over-the-clothes footjob.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

          Other balls of cause.
          http://trev.id.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/IMG_1902.jpg

          • inqntrol
            inqntrol
            December 17, 2015 at 1:14 am | #

            “The Iron Giant shows up:Ahh, there they were. Picks them up.”

      • Ghostforge
        Ghostforge
        December 17, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        Nice Callback.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 17, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        I know a dude who, while having anal sex with another dude, stopped in the middle and said “oh no!!” and the other dude says “What? What??” and he says, “Our penises touched! That makes it GAY!!”

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          December 17, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

          Dammit, I screwed up the joke. He said “our balls touched” which makes way more sense. Better luck next time, me.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      December 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Sure, it’s basically like hotdog swordfighting.

      • Lord Stoneheart
        Lord Stoneheart
        December 17, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

        (Remembers crude jokes in middle school). Now that I think about it, I’m not sure when I found out what gay sex usually entails. Ethan might know more than me at the same age.

    • Silly Name
      Silly Name
      December 17, 2015 at 7:51 am | #

      Well, gay sex isn’t just butt stuff.

  6. Viktoria
    Viktoria
    December 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Can I send Ethan some lube and a couple key websites from here? Because dude is going to be in trouble otherwise.

  7. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    December 17, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    *refusesto play the first song that came to mind, as a service to you*

    (It was from the soundtrack of Grease 2. Yeah, that bad.)

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      *finds Billy Joel’s “Sometimes A Fantasy” and plays it on the hacked Muzak*

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhJg1finpyU
        The fact that you can watch the video on a smartphone now would been mind-blowing back in 1980.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      And here I was going to go with the old staple of “The Bad Touch” by Bloodhound Gang. :p

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        December 17, 2015 at 11:17 am | #

        Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it…

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          December 17, 2015 at 12:32 pm | #

          Exactly! Though, I was looking for the WoW version from like a decade ago when I posted last night, but I couldn’t find it. (There are tons of them, but not the one that introduced me to the song. XDD)

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

      You could go for the Fast and Furious OST.

    • Jason
      Jason
      December 17, 2015 at 3:34 pm | #

      I love that song.

  8. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    December 17, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan is in touch with gay humanity.

    Mostly his own.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Then he should’ve had the door locked.

      • Solenoid
        Solenoid
        December 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

        A common mistake!

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Innuendo bravissimo.

  9. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Reminds me of my obliviousness to why condoms are flavored.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      December 17, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      “…are you supposed to eat them afterwards? Is that how you dispose of them?”

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      December 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      You’ve heard f vagina dentata? Well some women have vagina lingula.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Butter-menthol flavour helps prevent sore throats.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 17, 2015 at 2:47 am | #

        Tabasco didn’t make it out of the testing phase for, in hindsight, obvious reasons.

        • Sam
          Sam
          December 17, 2015 at 12:59 pm | #

          Yea. The hind would not be a sight to behold after using that one.

    • BanHammor
      BanHammor
      December 17, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Do…you still need help with that one? >_>

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        December 17, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

        Haha nope. See my reply to Marie for further info.

    • Marie
      Marie
      December 17, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

      Is it that you didn’t know about oral, or that you still don’t get it because they taste like scented erasers half the time? (although, durex makes a non-flavoured one that sort of tastes like (and smells strongly of) earl grey for some reason)

      • Dana
        Dana
        December 17, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

        Well now someone needs to word Picard saying “Tea, earl grey, hot.” into a fic.

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        December 17, 2015 at 2:11 am | #

        A bit of both actually. Knew about oral, but not the unpleasantness of condom taste.

      • Shiro
        Shiro
        December 17, 2015 at 4:15 am | #

        I KNEW IT. I knew I wasn’t imagining the condoms smelling like orange.

        • Marie
          Marie
          December 18, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

          So, which ones are they?

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        December 17, 2015 at 7:12 am | #

        “Dick. Earl Grey. Hot.”

        • Machine of Slight Discomfort
          Machine of Slight Discomfort
          December 17, 2015 at 11:19 am | #

          “And lock the Holodeck doors.”

  10. John
    John
    December 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Are we sure that this isn’t some of Amber’s slashfic?

    • Marie
      Marie
      December 17, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      You can never be certain.

      • Inkblot
        Inkblot
        December 17, 2015 at 11:26 am | #

        I’m actually wondering now if there’s going to be a reveal in the next two pages that this is all in somebody’s head.

    • Silly Name
      Silly Name
      December 17, 2015 at 7:53 am | #

      Dumbing of Age is really Walkyverse!Amber’s slashfic, calling it now.

  11. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    December 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    Everyone’s first fics were terrible. EVERYONE’S. There are deep, dark secrets of shame in every fic writer’s past. Schmoopy self-insert, 2nd person narration, questionable sex techniques. I’m sure Amber has evolved like all of us 😉

    • Marie
      Marie
      December 17, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

      I’ve been spending literal years making some-2000 word stories from when I was 12 into readable, at least moderately respecting of canon, currently about 25000 (probably will best 35-40k) word stories with the same premise.

      They’re not even popular, I just cannot leave them be. I’m like ‘but this was [these were] the first real thing I ever wrote I have to save it.’

      • begbert
        begbert
        December 17, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

        I know what you mean I wrote some stuff as a middle and high schooler (not fanfic and not slash – boring old ordinary original fiction) which I have subsequently spent twenty years revisiting on and off in an attempt to take the characters (which were and still are pretty awesome) and put them into some sort of plot that, unlike in the original stories, both exists and doesn’t suck. It doesn’t help that even after all these years I remain terrible at coming up with plots. So far I’ve written two 190,000+ word books from them that are almost decent, but still haven’t finished the reclamation effort. I figure one more book and I can move on to the side-stories that also need reworking…

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 17, 2015 at 7:17 am | #

          Sadly my embarrassing middle-school writer years predated the Internet so I was just filling up notebooks, and I left them behind when I went to college and my mum threw them out. 🙁

          At least I don’t have these stupid, awful fics floating around the dark recesses of the Internet, I guess. They were well-spelled, at least (hey, ahead of the game, lol) but man…

          I still remember one where my totally bad-ass female fighter (she had an eyepatch, yo!) stopped a bunch of violent thugs from attacking them by telling them about this one brothel where they’ll, like, do anything. Woo! Never mind beating up my new best friends; we’re off to a legendary brothel where they will do anything. You know, unlike every other brothel out there. Sex solves everything!

          Oh man.

          • begbert
            begbert
            December 17, 2015 at 11:09 am | #

            Mine predated the internet, but not wordperfect 1.0, so my first story was typed and saved. (It was for a middle school writing class, but was so long I turned it in a second time to the same class for full credit. And due to recent recovery efforts I have readable copy of it! It’s…pretty bad. No sex in it though for obvious reasons.) My second story, the first one that was semi-decent, had a semi-semblance of a plot, and which introduced all my favorite characters – that was two hundred plus pages written out in longhand. Which I actually still have, because I’m not quite a hoarder but am close enough. No sex in it either, because I was raised in prude-country and other people knew about it, plus I was pretty incompetent about sexy stuff. Heck, even today my books are basically family-appropriate (aside from the teen swearing, which is way toned down but still drives my family away) – with its deplorable lack of homosexual sexytimes my stuff definitely would never gain traction with the internet community.

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        December 17, 2015 at 2:54 am | #

        Oh I know those. The stories that linger. I have an original fiction I’ve been on-and-off working on for 15 years lol. I think we all have those.
        But every writer evolves over time and if you write new stuff for a different fandom or even new stuff in the same fandom, you’re always gonna be better now than when you started 😉

      • Vex Godglove
        Vex Godglove
        December 17, 2015 at 5:56 am | #

        I had some of my poetry published in my university’s annual literary/art magazine. Looking back on it now it is ridiculously pretentious and overwrought. I don’t k now who is worse, me for writing it or the editorial staff for selecting it for publication.

    • OnyxIdol
      OnyxIdol
      December 17, 2015 at 6:41 am | #

      Speak for yourself, my fic is pretty good, if the reviews are anything to go by. Though to be fair, I started publishing only some months ago.

      • OnyxIdol
        OnyxIdol
        December 17, 2015 at 6:42 am | #

        I should probably add that it isn’t a slashfic. Are we only talking about slashfics? Because I haven’t written one of those yet.

        • begbert
          begbert
          December 17, 2015 at 11:10 am | #

          I’ve never event written a slashfic. I’m a boring person though.

        • caesaria82
          caesaria82
          December 17, 2015 at 2:45 pm | #

          I’ve basically never written anything that *wasn’t* slashfic lol. (some gen stuff, but even my gen stuff is always kinda slashy/femslashy lol)

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 17, 2015 at 10:26 am | #

      My first fanfic won an online contest against more than a dozen competetors.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 17, 2015 at 2:24 pm | #

      I am so, so glad that my first fic(s) pre-dates the internet.

  12. warpcorps
    warpcorps
    December 17, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    and then someone completely random walks in and starts talking about the history of the term slash, beginning with ye olde star trek fandom
    which in my experience always happens when people talk about slash fiction
    oh god i’m that person

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      December 17, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

      No, you are the demons.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 17, 2015 at 1:07 am | #

        And then John was a zombie.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 17, 2015 at 10:25 am | #

          Which is why you have to shoot rockets into his head to win Doom 2.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      December 17, 2015 at 7:18 am | #

      I explained K/S in one of my fics. XD We’re monsters. 😀

  13. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 17, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Everyone has some ideas, Ethan.

  14. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    Insert penis into male, right? I know the insert penis into female method wasn’t working anyway!

  15. Ash Ketchup
    Ash Ketchup
    December 17, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    “I mean I’ve seen a bunch of gay porn, so…”

    • Inkblot
      Inkblot
      December 17, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      It goes in the pooper

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 17, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        You dip your dick in the toilet? Well if it’s on the internet it must be true.

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          December 17, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

          I wouldn’t be surprised if such a video existed somewhere on the internet.

          • Dana
            Dana
            December 17, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

            Well, now it does.

            • inqntrol
              inqntrol
              December 17, 2015 at 1:15 am | #

              I guess that kind of thing fits in the “fetish” category.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                December 17, 2015 at 1:20 am | #

                Name anything. There’s a fetish for it.

                • inqntrol
                  inqntrol
                  December 17, 2015 at 1:27 am | #

                  Ducks?

                • Tacos
                  Tacos
                  December 17, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

                  Quantum Physics?

                • modulusshift
                  modulusshift
                  December 17, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

                  Dude, there’s Daffy. Of course there’s 34 of any Looney Tunes character, they’ve been around forever.

                • Inkblot
                  Inkblot
                  December 17, 2015 at 1:46 am | #

                  He said “anything”, and believe you me, he wasn’t kidding.

                • Smiling Cat
                  Smiling Cat
                  December 17, 2015 at 3:40 am | #

                  http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=715

                • TheNinthShader
                  TheNinthShader
                  December 17, 2015 at 8:23 am | #

                  Um….Is there a fetish for eyes being ripped apart by fish hooks, and then eaten by turtles?

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  December 17, 2015 at 8:54 am | #

                  We need a search engine specializing in answering these questions. The Rule Search Engine.

                • Betty Anne
                  Betty Anne
                  December 17, 2015 at 12:41 pm | #

                  inqntrol, my first fanfic was about Darkwing Duck. Ducks are definitely a thing. :p (I don’t still have some lingering nostalgic love for Negaduck that still gets a little inappropriate at times. I don’t. I definitely don’t still look for not-exactly-child-friendly art of him. Sometimes. .__.)

    • Time Sage
      Time Sage
      December 17, 2015 at 4:15 am | #

      I know this is a joke, but even gay porn is a horrible suggestion of how gay sex works. (Hint: They leave out all the unsexy stuff you need to do before and after)

  16. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 17, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

    You just stick it in the guy’s Yaoi hole!
    W-what do you mean guys don’t have a yaoi hole!?

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      December 17, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      Sure they do. It’s the hole that makes them shout “Yaoi!” When you put your penis inside it

      • Foxhack
        Foxhack
        December 17, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

        I think they shot “Yowwie”. Not the same.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          December 17, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

          Oh my god, They shot Yowwie!
          YOU BASTARDS.

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            December 17, 2015 at 1:55 am | #

            Yowwie shot first.

            • inqntrol
              inqntrol
              December 17, 2015 at 3:46 am | #

              What if they all shot in the same time?

              • Roborat
                Roborat
                December 17, 2015 at 3:13 pm | #

                I think that is called bukkake.

        • Inkblot
          Inkblot
          December 17, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

          This happens when you don’t lube up first

          • TheNinthShader
            TheNinthShader
            December 17, 2015 at 8:24 am | #

            *obligatory mike penis nickle comment*

  17. DJTsurugi
    DJTsurugi
    December 17, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

    “in her fics it says that they are all sweaty every time, I’m not sure I can sweat on command like that though.” ~<3

  18. Geoff
    Geoff
    December 17, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    Dear lord the bad fanfic porn. I’ve screamed so many times when authors don’t use some sort of lube it’s become a litmus test.

    • TheGrammarLegionary
      TheGrammarLegionary
      December 17, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      Screaming due to lack of lube is an unfortunately common problem, I hear.

    • John Cabot
      John Cabot
      December 17, 2015 at 2:56 am | #

      Okay, I’m just going to say it and then never speak of it again: The prevalence of soap as a lube in fic once resulted in one of the worst experiences of my life.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 17, 2015 at 2:57 am | #

      Seriously. Just use lube in your stories, guys. I can’t believe how many times I’ve head-desked over spit or sweat as ‘lube’ and don’t get me started on the time it was tears. Tears as lube. I s2g.

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        December 17, 2015 at 12:45 pm | #

        LOL If you ever find that “tears as lube” fic again, I think you need to submit the relevant passage to fanfiction_txt on Twitter. XD

    • Dean
      Dean
      December 17, 2015 at 3:20 am | #

      It’s been a while since chemistry class, but I never had to use lube when doing a litmus test.

      • marius_wynyard
        marius_wynyard
        December 17, 2015 at 10:03 am | #

        Well you were probably just doing softcore science. In hardcore science one should always use lube.

        • Dean
          Dean
          December 17, 2015 at 5:15 pm | #

          Everyone kept their pants on, so yes, you’re probably right.

  19. Leorale
    Leorale
    December 17, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    PSA: Anal sex is not the only kind of man-with-man sex. Lots of men solely prefer oral, for example, and never have anal. The More You Know!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

      As a straight man I can say I’d also strictly prefer that. Lady parts look unappealing to me.

      • Derek
        Derek
        December 17, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

        What is your sexuality, if you don’t mind my asking? Straight but with a preference for no PnV?
        This is definitely a personal question so feel free to ignore but your comment made me curious

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          December 17, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

          I’m straight but I’m way more into the concept of getting HJs, BJs, and other non penetration stuff than actual penetration. I’m very selfish I guess. Then again I’m also extra virgin so y’know. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

          • Rutee
            Rutee
            December 17, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

            It’s only selfish if you don’t return the favor. Learn how to give oral, and/or use your hands. Or at least the basic mechanics. I’ve actually known a marriage counselor who said “Absolutely no PIV sex for a while” as part of her recommendations (Like, sex is fine, but no PIV), which apparently helped greatly.

            Like, I’m not saying be an expert, but you can totally have great sex without penetration. To the extent I can make a recommendation, it’d be Mira’s yuri stuff. She gets plenty explicit, and while it’s lesbians, it’s also, you know, not PIV (And often not a dildo either). The mechanics shouldn’t be that different for a man than a woman.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              December 17, 2015 at 1:13 am | #

              Bu-But I’m not an anime.
              What if I’m not Kawaii enough!?

              But yeah it’s only fair to return the favor. Which is why for the time being I’m gonna put it off. I’m too much of a giant baby.

      • Scoops
        Scoops
        December 17, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

        Uh, I think you may have a rather one-sided interpretation of oral here, if you think it means you avoid the lady parts entirely.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          December 17, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

          Fair enough. I’m selfish to the core.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 17, 2015 at 9:56 am | #

      Hell, the buttsex only view is so prevalent even some gay dudes think that’s all there is to it. They don’t even know what frot is! 🙁

  20. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 17, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

    I know how gay sex works! According to Mary we just need to get a bible and shit all over it!

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 17, 2015 at 7:32 am | #

      You need to give Willis the rights to this comment so he can make it a comic

    • Kit
      Kit
      December 17, 2015 at 12:24 pm | #

      Are you a Bo Burnham fan by any chance?

  21. IDontcarenomore
    IDontcarenomore
    December 17, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    Right about next Christmas (not the one coming next week), the one in 2016, maybe these two will have managed to explore what they both have been wanting to do ever since Danny fell on Ethan -by accident.
    Or maybe Ethan will be back in the closet and Danny will be sleeping with Walky. There’s a thought.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

      I feel like there’s many many versions of that scenario that’d break Amber’s heart so keep that in mind.

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      December 17, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      That’s a really precise prediction.

      If Amazi Girl does break up with Danny (I can’t see vice verse happening. Danny can’t even break off his friendship with Joe) I can’t see him going directly to Ethan.

      • Nono
        Nono
        December 17, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

        I can’t really see Amazi-Girl breaking up with Danny either, Amber’s been really using him as a pillar of support.

        …Wait, what came out of the Danny-Amber interaction after Amber told him what had happened? Wasn’t he going to tell her one of his sexual secrets?

        • John Cabot
          John Cabot
          December 17, 2015 at 2:58 am | #

          He kissed her and she got furious at him for cheating on Amazi-Girl and got all Blaine-like. Then she ran off.

        • Lord Stoneheart
          Lord Stoneheart
          December 17, 2015 at 7:57 am | #

          Danny and Amazi Girl dating seems pretty reliant on Amber holding onto the persona as a perfect version of herself. Only the perfect Amazi Girl deserves a boyfriend. And Amber is very insistent that Amazi Girl never fails. That’s not a setup for something that will end well.

          And Amber ran away from Danny after she exploded with anger at him for kissing her while she was out of the Amazi Girl persona. Which means he didn’t get the chance to come out to her. And it should be noted that the if his conversation with Dorothy is anything to go by, one of the reasons he hasn’t confided in Amber about the bisexuality thing is because he’s scared with how she’ll react.

          • Amazi-Stool
            Amazi-Stool
            December 17, 2015 at 2:26 pm | #

            Only the perfect Amazi Girl deserves a boyfriend.
            The irony of this is that Danny has learned from his parents him having a girlfriend is the only thing that earns him any respect at all.

  22. That One Guy
    That One Guy
    December 17, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    You know what they say! It’s not gay if it’s a threeway!

    Get Joe in on this!

    • Inkblot
      Inkblot
      December 17, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

      Not even the devil’s threeway

      this is a pact with satan, hades, and all the other guys down there

      “down there”

      geddit

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 17, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

      Holy shit a Joe/Danny/Ethan threeway would be marvelous. But I dunno if Joes would be into it. *sheds a tear*

      • Noclevername
        Noclevername
        December 17, 2015 at 10:15 am | #

        Heh heh, you said “into it”.

  23. Inkblot
    Inkblot
    December 17, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

    Never have I wanted so badly for two men to have smexytimes, and I work on frickin’ hentai

    this is your doing, willis

  24. Lan
    Lan
    December 17, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

    Oh god his tiny eyes. I can’t not think of soggies when looking at his tiny eyes.

  25. Makkabee
    Makkabee
    December 17, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

    “The Mechanics of Gay Sex” is my Village People cover band.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 17, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

      “Amber’s Old SlashFic” is my Guns N’ Roses cover band.

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        December 17, 2015 at 8:39 am | #

        “Tales of Sinterest” is my Nirvana cover band.

        • Noclevername
          Noclevername
          December 17, 2015 at 10:14 am | #

          The Penises Touch is my Bloodhound Gang cover band… No, wait, I think that was actually the title of one of their songs.

  26. Wanderinglynx
    Wanderinglynx
    December 17, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

    But do you guys realize this means Danny has read Amber’s NEWER slash fic?

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      December 17, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

      Well he did say he heard Amber’s Steve/Bucky fics like 30 times a few strips back.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        December 17, 2015 at 1:32 am | #

        But the last time it included a cucumber. Boys neec their vitamin K.

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          December 17, 2015 at 1:33 am | #

          *need

          • Betty Anne
            Betty Anne
            December 17, 2015 at 1:03 pm | #

            Unless she thought Bucky and Steve would react to it the way cats do? (inb4 another round of “don’t post cruelty to cats” .__.)

      • Wanderinglynx
        Wanderinglynx
        December 18, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

        Oh my god when, HOW DID I MISS THAT???

  27. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    December 17, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    Bad Ethan! Old badfic is shown to friends in the strictest of confidence! You don’t show anyone that shit without permission!

  28. Coco Pommel
    Coco Pommel
    December 17, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

    I come at just the right time… https://gyazo.com/cfbbda746d01481e376ba80bb600b20d

    • Dean
      Dean
      December 17, 2015 at 3:50 am | #

      Sometime during the last paragraph, you mean?

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 17, 2015 at 10:16 am | #

      I’ll bet you do.

  29. Kraken
    Kraken
    December 17, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

    I remember reading “The Penises Touch.”

    It’s a tale that’s frot with feelings and intimacy.

    I’ll be here all week.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 17, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

      wow

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      December 17, 2015 at 1:03 am | #

      …Nice.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      December 17, 2015 at 7:23 am | #

      Someone dock that man’s pay.

      …ness. Because docking. 😀

    • Noclevername
      Noclevername
      December 17, 2015 at 10:11 am | #

      I see what you did there.

  30. brionl
    brionl
    December 17, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

    ‘Gay Sex Mechanics’
    Sounds like a good name for a rock band.

    • Marie
      Marie
      December 17, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

      Or a pretty awesome job.

      • TheNinthShader
        TheNinthShader
        December 17, 2015 at 8:27 am | #

        I can imagine that being a job in the physics department.
        “Oh you were looking for the Quantum mechanics department, its down the hall and to the left”
        *screams*
        “Oh sorry! I meant the right!”

        • Falling Star
          Falling Star
          December 17, 2015 at 8:41 am | #

          New Big Bang Theory joke.

  31. Dana
    Dana
    December 17, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

    I’m not female, a middle schooler in the Internet age, or into man on man fanfic, so somebody tell me: Isn’t that a little early to be reading slashfic to say nothing of writing it? I’m just thinking Amber’s love of written man-on-man goes *ahem* deeper than most women’s given that history, and that when the possibility of an Amber-Danny-Ethan three way comes up that’ll make it all the more confusing for her. We all know it eventually will and and, Willis being Willis, it’s only going to be sweaty and passionate in the worst ways.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 17, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

      I mean, I’m none of those things either, but that’s at least the right time to have the kinds of feelings that lead to reading or writing it. (And for all we know, the ‘grasps of the mechanics of gay sex’ might just be ‘and they touched each other’s butts’ or something).

    • Tori
      Tori
      December 17, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      That’s only a little bit early at most. If you’re sufficiently precocious, into creative fandom, and have enough unsupervised access to the Internet, you can totally be reading and writing smutfic in your preteens and early teens. I think I published my first smutfic on fanfiction.net at age 15 (I have since deleted it because wow it was terrible, so that’s a best estimate – and says nothing for any unpublished forays into smutfic that I might have written earlier).

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        December 17, 2015 at 11:39 am | #

        I was totally writing fanfic between the ages of thirteen and fifteen, and reading smut (albeit guiltily and terrified I would go to hell). Took me a few more years to get over my shame and guilt hangups to be able to start incorporating slash/femslash, but I imagine the less neurotic types (and/or people who aren’t repressing their queerness like I was) could easily be writing by then.

    • Sporky
      Sporky
      December 17, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      If you think that’s early for a girl to be reading or writing slashfic, you don’t know much about the fanfiction community! It’s very much not. I think most girls get into fandom around that age, which leads to the regrettable instance of being just old enough to be into sex and young enough to still have no sense of maturity in dealing with that or other heavy subjects (abuse, BDSM, you name any dark shit and slash fangirls will have written it).

      • Marie
        Marie
        December 17, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

        Yeah, although everyone I knew outgrew it if they learned it at all, it certainly does set up a super shakey foundation to understanding rape with the whole ‘hot forceful sex and actually you end up really liking the guy” thing, among other things to do with unhealthy relationships (especially in anime fandoms since a lot of animes geared at that age-ish have weird violent fights that are about the girl and usually possessive), and writing of women as super clueless because they think they guy who says ‘baka onna’ is super hot.

        • Time Sage
          Time Sage
          December 17, 2015 at 4:20 am | #

          You say that like women aren’t violently possessive in anime too. (IE Any harem anime EVER)

        • TheBiggestTom
          TheBiggestTom
          December 17, 2015 at 6:12 am | #

          Though I’m not a girl, I have read from multiple sources that some women (and by “some” I mean “more than half of women polled”, plus Ayn Rand) find rape hot.

          Let me clarify.

          It’s not *being* raped that’s hot, it’s the *idea* of being raped. Women who have rape fantasies want all of the spicy sexiness of being overpowered against their will without all of the messy consent, fear, and trauma.

          If you really think about it, it makes sense: most girls find power sexy, whether it’s physical power, financial power, or sexual power.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            December 17, 2015 at 6:43 am | #

            There’s also a level of the old double standard – “You’re a bad girl if you do that”. So, in fantasies, rape takes away the guilt feelings, since you didn’t choose to do it.

            It is, or at least was, common in genre romance as well, particularly the more formula stuff.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 17, 2015 at 9:10 am | #

              That’s partially true, but it’s also partially an invention of harlequin. It’s important to remember that the people who make the decision on what to publish are still old white dudes. They tend to nix a lot of the stuff that doesn’t fit the model. Plenty of self-published porn (‘erotica’, but let’s be real) doesn’t bother with rape. Plenty still does, mind! But it’s less common than stereotypes indicate.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 17, 2015 at 9:29 am | #

            Mm. Not going to go too deep into it, but that whole thing is a lot more complicated than the surveys usually dive into. Part of it is that a lot of women have been raped and for a portion of survivors, rape fantasies are a way of going back and removing the worst part (the robbing of autonomy) by putting themselves in charge of when and how it ends.

            Another part is that what is marketed and presented in sexual materials that young women will often find frequently portray things like stalking, rape, and obsession as sexy. This means that there is often cultural pressure to follow suit, which leads the general culture to assume that that’s just what women want. If all your depictions of what is a “sexy guy” show guys who don’t accept no or who show up in your home in the middle of the night or so on, then you usually just assume oh, okay, that’s what hot must be in a similar way that most people assume sex is supposed to hurt the first time (it’s not) or that the hymen is some “freshness seal” that sex must break (also not).

            This is not to say that rape fantasies aren’t a thing for some women and that these often are complicated feelings for said women that don’t correspond to their desire to be in relationships that are abusive or rapey.

            But rather that the presumed universality has a little more to do with how things are marketed and sold as well as stereotypes and assumptions with regards to what women find hot that more match up with what men already are using to compare and rank themselves rather than what women are saying they find hot (like say, the social idea that women love aggressive and muscular when a lot of the depictions of sexy that get passed around among heterosexual women and are popular among them tend to have a lot more depictions of more androgynous and lithe looking guys who are at least making an outward show of being sensitive and emotionally caring (even creepy stalker extraordinaire Edward makes a lot of noise about how “conflicted” and full of feelings he is and is described more in terms of his softer features)).

            What thejeff and Rutee say also fits into it. A fantasy where one can say one was swept away so it wasn’t like one was really sexually horny and wanting a tumble is going to be marketed more because of our social attitudes towards women having sexualities and thus more women are going to feel social pressure to hide or deflect their attractions under these weasel word rules they’re told to follow.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          December 17, 2015 at 7:26 am | #

          I was just thinking of the apparent audience of “Twilight”… Pretty sure it’s the same as the slashfic demographic. Hell, what with Jacob and Edward, I guarantee there’s a healthy amount of overlap.

          • Amazi-Stool
            Amazi-Stool
            December 17, 2015 at 2:41 pm | #

            And you are very right with that assumption.
            See history of “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

        • Marie
          Marie
          December 18, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

          You’re correct too, yes, and there was also weird romanticized stuff in that field (such as super violent ‘tsundere’, and not necessarily in universes where the characters had nigh-infinite health)

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2015 at 12:47 am | #

      Middle schoolers love porn. We pretend that they’re innocent and tell them not to do it but yeah. They’re totally into that kinda stuff.

      • insomniac
        insomniac
        December 17, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

        When I was in middle school, Internet port was a covert affair. You had one computer in the house, often as not, and it took up the phone line when you connected, and made a sound like a blender having angry sex with an auto tune machine in the process. It was like a techno thriller spy movie to get your tween want materials.

        In ages before, middle schoolers would resort to underwear catalogues, swimsuit magazines, and faded periodicals handed down from on high by their one friend’s unemployable weird uncle.

        Or so the legends have it.

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 17, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

          The legends are true.

          • Noclevername
            Noclevername
            December 17, 2015 at 10:24 am | #

            That’s no exaggeration about the catalogs, either. I’m amazed at how easily I had been turned on as a teen by what are relatively tame images by today’s standards. Back then I could get it up for a Barbie doll.

          • StClair
            StClair
            December 17, 2015 at 2:30 pm | #

            also known as the Before Time.

        • John Cabot
          John Cabot
          December 17, 2015 at 3:01 am | #

          I remember at twelve thinking my dad was some sort of wizard because he could tell what links I’d clicked.

          Incidentally, thank goodness for netscape for avoiding browser pornfic blocks.

          • inqntrol
            inqntrol
            December 17, 2015 at 4:09 am | #

            Nowadays thanks to private browsing, you don’t need to worry about others checking your history, heh heh.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          December 17, 2015 at 1:16 pm | #

          JCPenney’s lingerie section was where it was at, if you were a chick into chicks and your parents were controlling, homophobic, and monitored computer use down to keystroke loggers and password crackers. :p

        • Amazi-Stool
          Amazi-Stool
          December 17, 2015 at 2:48 pm | #

          When I was in middle school, Internet ports were 20/21 (FTP), 23 (Telnet), but mostly 25 (SMTP).

          80 (HTTP) wasn’t invented back then.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 17, 2015 at 9:12 am | #

        Yup, puberty often means sexual awakening, so kids start looking around for stuff on that and at that age porn is pretty much all that’s around.

        This comes with the unfortunate side effect that by the time we realize that kids might have sexual desires and questions and start trying to teach sex ed, they’ve already absorbed a lot of terrible messages and advice from porn tropes (and that’s for all kids. This is also why a lot of slashfic often has… questionable sexual bits in them, like not really understanding what lube is or what a good material for lube would be).

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          December 17, 2015 at 11:42 am | #

          I remember hearing of one that said they “did lube” because the author appeared to be under the assumption lube was a sex act.

          And given the prevalence of abstinence-only sex ed and lack of information about gay sex at all, you get… well, bad porn fanfics written by twelve-year-olds with no understanding of anatomy.

    • Marie
      Marie
      December 17, 2015 at 1:04 am | #

      Maybe, but it’s not at all uncommon, based on my knowledge of me and my friends, as well as folks I met online or read from, or who read my stuff, although I actually didn’t write slash exactly (a friend helped with sex scenes. She was the same age as me, just less worried about sounding dumb, especially since it was under my name. I pretty much just set up how it started and what the ending would lead into).

      • Marie
        Marie
        December 17, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

        also I’m curious what you meant by “I’m just thinking Amber’s love of written man-on-man goes *ahem* deeper than most women’s”

        • John
          John
          December 17, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

          He means the dudes are going deeper ifyouknowwhatImean.

        • Emma
          Emma
          December 17, 2015 at 9:59 am | #

          I think he’s assuming that most women who are into dude on dude start liking that stuff later in life. I’m with Amber here. I’ve always found dude on dude attractive.

          • li
            li
            December 17, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

            I think he means he thinks Amber would be into watching her boyfriend with a dude in real life? But that’s just a guess.

          • Marie
            Marie
            December 18, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

            Samesies.

            And Li, maybe, but I’d say he’d be mistaken. She might be turned on by the idea, but I can’t see her actually being into it.

    • Nate
      Nate
      December 17, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

      I am a girl and started reading and writing slashfic around the age of 11 or 12, so it doesn’t seem strange at all to me.

      • Griffin
        Griffin
        December 17, 2015 at 12:22 pm | #

        I’m starting to wish I’d written smut at twelve. Maybe then I’d be good at it now. I’m eighteen and can’t even write kissing without feeling super self-conscious.

    • Sam
      Sam
      December 17, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

      I read erotic fanfic when I was twelve. I was writing it at thirteen. Yeah, it’s a thing. Definitely more prevalent and better written when you’re older, but that’s right when the hormones are starting to kick in and there’s that thrill of writing down the filthiest things you can think of. So, someone touching a boob, basically.

      • TheNinthShader
        TheNinthShader
        December 17, 2015 at 8:28 am | #

        Or Mike touching the boob, with his penis, for a nickle.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      December 17, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

      I was writing romantic fanfiction when I was a teenage girl. **shrug** Now, it was non-explicit and all about love and relationship and stuff. Of course, I was more into writing the girl-on-girl than the man-on-man, but I did have some friends and fellow writers into the yaoi scene.
      As far as I know, slashfiction is almost exclusively the purview of teenage girls.

      • Pebblerocker
        Pebblerocker
        December 17, 2015 at 2:06 am | #

        Nope! Well, you could count a lot of us as former teenage girls, I suppose.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      December 17, 2015 at 3:08 am | #

      Every year approximately twelve articles come out about how women and girls love and consume a lot of gay porn (both in video and in writing) and yet people are somehow still surprised about this lmao.

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 17, 2015 at 2:32 pm | #

        “but you’re supposed to be pure and innocent and demure and…”
        “pfft, fuck no.”

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      December 17, 2015 at 6:47 am | #

      It may well make it more confusing for her, but not necessarily any better. Thinking man-on-man is hot doesn’t mean you want your boyfriend and your ex to get together.
      Or make threesomes any more likely to work out well.

      • Emma
        Emma
        December 17, 2015 at 10:02 am | #

        THANK YOU. It’s like the whole ‘oh you’re bi so you obviously want to have a threesome’ thing. Amber might not even be into the idea of a threesome–I know I’m not. I’m too monogamous for that. Like, I get worried saying possessive, but that might be the better term. Amber might be the same way. And I dunno if Ethan would want to be in a threesome with a girl, much less his best friend.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 17, 2015 at 12:33 pm | #

          Oh yeah, a threesome would end tragically there. It would, ironically, be all about making Danny feel better. afaik, and tbf this isn’t by personal experience (My wife is definitely too possessive, and I might be too; note, this bare minimum of ‘I want monogamy’ is not exactly a bad level of possessieness), but you want all participants into each other. Which either sucks for Ethan, or sucks for Ethan and Amber (She’d like to hit that, but would be emotionally tormented). Danny/Ethan/Amber threesomes are the thing I don’t get, even from the perspective of ‘all bi people want threesomes’.

    • thomas wrobel
      thomas wrobel
      December 17, 2015 at 8:17 am | #

      Speaking as someone that has read a lot of the very worst fanfic as research. (yes, research – I made fanficmaker.com [/plug]). I would gauge while most were from older, there was certainly “dirty” stuff I read from surprisingly young.

      One other vague “pattern” seems to be the younger you go the more incline you are not just for author-inserts, but also to put all your friends in as well.

  32. Nena
    Nena
    December 17, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

    I kinda hope they kiss.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2015 at 12:48 am | #

      Right now? Cuz that’d be bad.

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        December 17, 2015 at 1:25 am | #

        Like really bad that would not only bring back all the old drama but multiply it x10

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 17, 2015 at 1:58 am | #

          Danny may be pretty worried about something else, right now.

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 17, 2015 at 9:53 am | #

      I don’t think Danny would do that to Amber, and I most definitely do not think that Ethan would do that to Amber. I will however be very interested in them when Danny and Amber call it quits. Yep, I said when.

  33. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    December 17, 2015 at 12:58 am | #

    Nice to know that these two can bond over slashfic and still be (at this point) just friends.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 17, 2015 at 6:03 am | #

      Mostly I’m just glad that Danny can acknowledge that he’s interested in dude action. Given how completely lost he previously was, it’s a healthy step.

      • Sam
        Sam
        December 17, 2015 at 4:44 pm | #

        That meetup may hv helped. They both seemed to hv worked out their awkwardness during that meeting.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 17, 2015 at 4:50 pm | #

          Yeah, it’s sad that he can actually talk about it with Ethan, actually show legitimate interest in queer fiction, but thinks that bringing it up to Amber will ruin things.

          I’m hoping that he’ll eventually tell her.

  34. Kraken
    Kraken
    December 17, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

    Wait a minute. This isn’t the time for good humoured japes and sexy fanfic.

    Stay on target, Dan!

    • TheNinthShader
      TheNinthShader
      December 17, 2015 at 8:29 am | #

      Japes!
      Undertale!
      Papyrus!
      Yeah!

  35. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    December 17, 2015 at 1:20 am | #

    Really ? Because you seem to not be willing to admit for what ever fucking reason.

  36. Chengrel
    Chengrel
    December 17, 2015 at 1:22 am | #

    “Perhaps you’d be willing to give me some lessons?”

  37. Sam
    Sam
    December 17, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

    I like how “feels” is in quotes. Ethan, honey. No.

    Then again, I have this terrible feeling that Danny question pertains to Amber’s shit fit, and I’d much rather they talk about slashfic and shipping for fifty strips than even go near that subject.

    Sigh. I just want these two to be happy.

    • Sam
      Sam
      December 17, 2015 at 1:43 am | #

      *that Danny’s question, damn you apostrophes!

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 17, 2015 at 6:02 am | #

      I mean, that’s kinda why he’s here. His girlfriend, and Ethan’s best friend, is having a breakdown. It’d be kind of weird if he just ignored that.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        December 17, 2015 at 9:47 am | #

        He probably just thinks it’s his fault for not following her rules.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 17, 2015 at 11:13 am | #

          I’m going to go ahead and say that “I ruined things with Amber! I better go hang out with that guy I associate with ruining things with Amber!” is not Danny’s thought process.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            December 17, 2015 at 5:16 pm | #

            But they’re buds now, Danny talks and Ethan listens!

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              December 17, 2015 at 5:27 pm | #

              Yeah, I don’t know what mellowing out Danny did over the timeskip, but it’s nice to see him be able to actually talk to Ethan, about slash of all things, and not freak out and think he’s compelled to cheat.

              Anyway, Danny just became aware of the extent of Amber’s problems. I can’t think of any reason other than that for why he’d swing by to talk to Ethan, who knows more about Amber than anyone.

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 17, 2015 at 9:50 am | #

      I don’t think he’s here to fuck Ethan because he’s upset with Amber. In fact, somehow, Danny doesn’t even appear to be mad at her at all. I feel like he came here to talk about Amber, and they got distracted by the slashfic.

      • Emma
        Emma
        December 17, 2015 at 9:51 am | #

        I think that’s what you meant anyway.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      December 17, 2015 at 2:58 pm | #

      they talk about slashfic and shipping for fifty strips
      But i prefer my daily DoA in color!

  38. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 17, 2015 at 1:42 am | #

    [“Oh, I have some ideas too…” Danny said softly, his eyes lingering for a moment too long on Ethan’s glorious man-chest.

    “Really,” Ethan said, only briefly pondering the mystery of why their pants suddenly had dissipated. “why don’t you show me?”

    And then they took their things and they did things with…]

    CTRL-W, DON’T SAVE

    “What is WRONG with me?” Amber muttered, furiously blushing.

    • Sam
      Sam
      December 17, 2015 at 1:45 am | #

      Canon.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 17, 2015 at 9:32 am | #

        Yup, 100% canon.

    • thomas wrobel
      thomas wrobel
      December 17, 2015 at 8:19 am | #

      “And then they took their things and they did things with”

      That reminds me, I once saw a fanfic that wrote;
      “He put his sex in her sex and they had sex”

      • TheNinthShader
        TheNinthShader
        December 17, 2015 at 8:30 am | #

        I once saw one that was “He put her weewee in her hoohaa

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          December 17, 2015 at 8:40 am | #

          If it was a Hymmel the humming hymnal-fic I bet it was written by Joyce.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        December 17, 2015 at 8:41 am | #

        That leaves “bad description”-territory and becomes rather poetic in a dada kind of way.

      • chiscii
        chiscii
        December 17, 2015 at 2:51 pm | #

        pretty sure that was my immortal or a my immortal reference so im not certain it counts

    • Gecko
      Gecko
      December 17, 2015 at 8:57 pm | #

      Spot on. XD

  39. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    December 17, 2015 at 5:34 am | #

    I know we have never seen it in comic, but has Ethan had sex with another guy yet?

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 17, 2015 at 6:00 am | #

      He hasn’t been with anybody since he came out to Amber.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 17, 2015 at 9:37 am | #

      He hasn’t done anything at all yet.

  40. Steve
    Steve
    December 17, 2015 at 6:05 am | #

    Panel three freaks me out! Cartoon convention or no, small eyes on Ethan are just wrong!

  41. Kryss LaBryn
    Kryss LaBryn
    December 17, 2015 at 7:31 am | #

    There’s a mum near me who writes a lot (like, a lot) of slashfic. Her gay son has publicly (as in, a local newspaper article) said she knows way more about the mechanics of gay sex than he. Heh.

    Apparently she is super supportive, and I mean that sincerely, although it is also hilarious because she will apparently offer him tips.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 17, 2015 at 8:49 am | #

      So, like Mike’s father 😀

  42. Adam Black
    Adam Black
    December 17, 2015 at 7:36 am | #

    Willis, ( per the alt-text ) Please make this a docking slipshine.

  43. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    December 17, 2015 at 8:14 am | #

    “Could you demonstrate these ideas?”
    “…”
    [SLIPSHINE ENSUES]

  44. Hastings
    Hastings
    December 17, 2015 at 8:29 am | #

    My wife and I had a baby girl today. 108 picked the correct date in the pool. Good job guys.

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      December 17, 2015 at 8:44 am | #

      😀
      Babies! Congrats!

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 17, 2015 at 8:50 am | #

      yay !

    • Clodia
      Clodia
      December 17, 2015 at 8:55 am | #

      Congrats! Hope your wife and daughter are doing well!

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 17, 2015 at 9:48 am | #

      Congratulations!

      PS: 108

  45. Emma
    Emma
    December 17, 2015 at 9:46 am | #

    Does this mean he doesn’t watch porn? Although I guess porn isn’t the greatest of references…

    Also it’s fairly easy to at least GUESS at what two dudes might get up to in the bedroom, but I suppose that since he’s a virgin, the theory might not be what actually is put into practice.

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      December 17, 2015 at 10:23 am | #

      I would guess he does watch porn. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/forthright/

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 17, 2015 at 11:28 am | #

        Ethan’s felt a lot of guilt and repression about his sexuality so chances are he hasn’t looked up a lot and is only lately getting more into it.

        • Rutee
          Rutee
          December 17, 2015 at 12:37 pm | #

          …Is gay porn for gay dudes? I know Japanese Yaoi is for straight women (Japanese Bara is not), but if Meriken gay porn is for straight women, he’d probably be getting some really stupid half-cocked shit even if he was watching it, like with ‘lesbian’ porn.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            December 17, 2015 at 12:43 pm | #

            I don’t know what this says about me, but I am actually more interested female-oriented dude slash like Yaoi than I am stuff that’s actually aimed at queer dudes.

            Ethan strikes me as being more into the emotional aspect of sex than the physical, so maybe that’s why Amber’s stuff works for him.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 17, 2015 at 1:06 pm | #

              It says exactly nothing, dun worry. It’s not predatory or otherwise soaking in privilege to enjoy porn not aimed at you. I’m curious, because it’s not something I’m aware of or can judge.

            • li
              li
              December 17, 2015 at 5:43 pm | #

              I’ve met several gay/bi/pan dudes in slash circles, it’s okay! <3

          • Sam
            Sam
            December 17, 2015 at 12:48 pm | #

            “Is gay porn for gay dudes”? Such a simple question on the face of it.

            • Gordon
              Gordon
              December 17, 2015 at 2:05 pm | #

              The answer is yes, with caveats.

              Gay porn is typically made in a similar mindset I’ve heard straight porn is(having never seen straight porn personally), in that it’s made entirely for the pleasure of one person(In straight porn, it’s men. In gay porn, it’s the top). It has very narrow ideas of the type of sex that should be had and who should do what, and pretty much skips over all the fun steps that would help the other partner actually enjoy what’s about to happen. But they’re often depicted as enjoying it* anyway, because if it’s good for the person fucking someone, it doesn’t really matter what the person being fucked thinks about it.

              At least that’s been my experience.

              *There are people who do enjoy sex like this. Nothing wrong with that, of course. But that should not be the default assumption.

          • li
            li
            December 17, 2015 at 1:01 pm | #

            Yes, gay porn is for gay dudes. The whole porn industry is dominated by what dudes want, and the majority of people still very firmly believe women don’t like sex.

            Like, it’s getting better slowly? But… well I’ll let xkcd tell it. 30 Rock did a similar “”joke”” to the concept of the referenced book.

            • Rutee
              Rutee
              December 17, 2015 at 1:12 pm | #

              Not too surprising

            • Emma
              Emma
              December 17, 2015 at 4:40 pm | #

              I guess it really depends on the particular porn, you know? Just like a lot of lesbian porn is actually aimed at men, a lot of gay porn is aimed at women. Most of the gay porn I look at is clearly meant for the female gaze, and I’ve had to look at “lesbian porn for lesbians” because I don’t find a lot of the porn meant for mean attractive.

              But the gay porn I look at is mostly yaoi stuff. I don’t know about live action, that might be meant for men.

              • li
                li
                December 17, 2015 at 5:35 pm | #

                Yes, to be VERY clear, I mean the live-action stuff. The thing called “gay porn” in the mainstream conscience, filled with “porn stars”, not any of the wide variety of written (and sometimes drawn) smut.

                Written smut has conversely got a long history of being by women, for women; “romance novels” are often filled with it, on top of the thriving slash fanfiction genre, and “yaoi” in all of its myriad forms. (Like there’s some amateur comics in Japan, and some styled after them made in other countries, and then there’s also professional manga and anime in the genre as well.)

            • li
              li
              December 17, 2015 at 5:39 pm | #

              Also, to clarify my clarification: not all live action porn is “mainstream”, there’s a lot of independent porn producers whose porn doesn’t follow the trends I described. There IS porn being created for women. It’s just extremely far from the majority.

              • ninja_jesus
                ninja_jesus
                December 17, 2015 at 8:52 pm | #

                I look forward to the day when women get their own porn.

      • segnosaur
        segnosaur
        December 17, 2015 at 12:24 pm | #

        Its possible that he watches only soft-core stuff with no actual sex. In another comic, he referenced looking at “pretty half-dressed men on the internet”.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/tacit/

        • Gordon
          Gordon
          December 17, 2015 at 1:42 pm | #

          In my extensive experience, you’d have to wade through a lot… like, A LOT, of hardcore stuff in order to find the softcore only. He’d be exposed to a broad spectrum of gay porn, even if most of it wasn’t anything he wanted to see. That’s the struggle of free porn sites.

          He’s probably just looking at pictures.

          • segnosaur
            segnosaur
            December 17, 2015 at 1:54 pm | #

            Reminds me of the movie Ted 2, where every internet search ended up finding “black cocks”.

            Yeah, I suspect hardcore sex probably dominates pr0n on the internet. He could just be looking at pictures. Or maybe something as sanitized as youtube. (Not sure if Indiana University would have any filters set up on their campus wifi.)

          • Amazi-Stool
            Amazi-Stool
            December 17, 2015 at 3:14 pm | #

            If you want a site that is dominated by softporn, just enter en.wikipedia.org (Uh, maybe not this page – definitely not safe for work).

            • Betty Anne
              Betty Anne
              December 17, 2015 at 9:02 pm | #

              I like the fact that page is only “two degrees of Wikipedia” away from a picture of a dude having sex with a goat. 😐 Wikipedia is truly marvelous, sometimes. (And, apparently, Paul Avril was well-versed in various sex practices. O.o; )

  46. Griffin
    Griffin
    December 17, 2015 at 12:05 pm | #

    It’s so weirdly sweet that they both read her slashfic.

  47. HiiroArana79
    HiiroArana79
    December 17, 2015 at 12:31 pm | #

    “Do you know the mechanics of gay sex?”

    “Yes, and I know some sexy, gay mechanics?”

    • Sam
      Sam
      December 17, 2015 at 12:47 pm | #

      Ha! One leads to another.

  48. Sam
    Sam
    December 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm | #

    I love Ethan’s expression in the last panel.

  49. Nick Piers
    Nick Piers
    December 17, 2015 at 1:57 pm | #

    I just assumed it worked like a Star Wars light saber battle.

    Complete with the exact same noises.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 17, 2015 at 2:36 pm | #

      “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!”

      • Peduncle
        Peduncle
        December 17, 2015 at 7:46 pm | #

        Try this. “Your [noun phrase of your choice] is as big as mine!” Leer if you have to.

  50. StClair
    StClair
    December 17, 2015 at 2:29 pm | #

    Rub your thing on his tummy.

  51. Pinja
    Pinja
    December 17, 2015 at 2:46 pm | #

    Ethan, you have no idea what a great setup Danny is giving you here.

    Carpe diem!

    • Pinja
      Pinja
      December 17, 2015 at 2:52 pm | #

      I’d call it a straight line but that would muddle the issue

  52. Emma
    Emma
    December 17, 2015 at 4:43 pm | #

    When I saw the preview page, I thought it would involve Danny, so go me? But I thought it’d be one with Danny telling Ethan why he wants Ethan to get a boyfriend. So I was wrong on that front.

    I like this page better than what I thought would happen.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 17, 2015 at 4:52 pm | #

      Yep. Healthy Danny who can show a legitimate interest in something queer without thinking it’s a travesty is best Danny.

  53. Edupoet81
    Edupoet81
    December 17, 2015 at 8:26 pm | #

    We have context for the blushing Ethan panel!

    This Danny/ Ethan interaction has the potential to go on some interesting directions.

Who should be the default doodle for Book 14?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
  • Polls Archive
CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

©2010-2025 Dumbing of Age | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Privacy Policy | Back to Top ↑