Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 12, 2026

Txt

by David M Willis on December 20, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - That Perfect Girl
└ Tags: danny, ethan

Discussion (171) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. modulusshift
    modulusshift
    December 20, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Yeah, that’s not a smile. :/

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      “Well, I think I successfully turned her off, but how do I turn her back on? You think her slashfic would do it? Slash re-enactments?”

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        December 20, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

        You’ll have to get her to come watch first tho.

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          December 20, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

          I’m sure Amber would sense a disturbance in the Force and come.

          • Disloyal Subject
            Disloyal Subject
            December 20, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

            Hopefully she’d show up first.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 20, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

          You saw how she reacted when Danny said his secret was of a sexual nature. Bet she’d respond to THAT text.

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            December 20, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

            send enough texts and the receiver won’t even look, i bet.

  2. James Small
    James Small
    December 20, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    #one-sided

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      @Dumbing_of_Age_TXT

  3. Roryduck
    Roryduck
    December 20, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Poor Danny

    • Hijean
      Hijean
      December 20, 2015 at 3:01 pm | #

      He’ll almost redeem himself for Roomies Danny at this rate.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 20, 2015 at 3:05 pm | #

        IW!Danny did that. He was still the same stuck up goob, but he felt a lot more nuanced.

        Come to think of it, this Danny doesn’t really have a lot in common with the other one.

  4. Spencer
    Spencer
    December 20, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Seeing a loved one fall apart is… well it’s fucking hard. I don’t know how to really put it. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a positive experience helping, since the one I most associate with it has kind of constantly exploded in my face for the last 12 years.

    • vonniesaur
      vonniesaur
      December 20, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      aw, man, sorry to hear that

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      December 20, 2015 at 8:07 am | #

      Feel ya’, bro. Really do. It’s never easy, and yet we must try again and again – because it’s the right thing to do.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 20, 2015 at 10:43 am | #

      It’s true, though, that, even if you can’t fix them, even if you can’t stop the crying jags and the self-abuse and the depression, being there trying to help DOES help. It’s damn hard on the helper (it is on me), but they do come out of it, and it’s because you were there.

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      December 20, 2015 at 1:09 pm | #

      Being on the “Amber-type” part of my relationship, I can assure that it helps even when it looks like the total opposite. Especially (as in only) if you keep enough distance with it to not drag yourself down. Or else it causes horrible guilt spirals. Give what help you reastically can while respecting yourself and not letting yourself get caught in the mechanics (or at least have a non-partner-related outlet), direct them to get the help you can’t give, that’s about all you can (and should) do. More won’t help, it’ll harm. I know :p

    • Peter Sadlon
      Peter Sadlon
      December 20, 2015 at 3:50 pm | #

      Speaking from experience it doesn’t help when two implosive people are together. One will often implode as a result of dealing with the other’s implosion.

  5. Captain Button
    Captain Button
    December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    This is the problem here, they are forgetting that the proper way to fix Amber is walking the Pattern with the Jewel of Judgement.

    • Catriona
      Catriona
      December 20, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

      You know, I think I remember getting one of those from a level 52 paladin class quest.

      • John
        John
        December 20, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

        I dunno, but in my Tourist ascension I hit an orc and Grayswandir fell out.

    • jeffepp
      jeffepp
      December 20, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      The only way to hold back the chaos.

      • Arian
        Arian
        December 20, 2015 at 3:56 am | #

        Why me, Unicorn?

        • Bruceski
          Bruceski
          December 20, 2015 at 11:29 pm | #

          Because Granddaddy was into some weird shit.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      December 20, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

      Orca when did you get out of your coma

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 20, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

        Is .hack still a thing these days? I remember that one anime with the really good music on YTV back in like 2006.

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          December 20, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

          It’s not, unfortunately. The last stuff to come out from it was like… I wanna say 2012? 2013? Shame. It was a good franchise.

          I think Haseo and Kite are in the new Project X Zone 2, tho

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 20, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

          Not as far as I know, I am just an old fart gamer surrounded by young punk gamers, which is why I identify with Bear.

          • Sageress
            Sageress
            December 20, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

            you ever play the G.U. games?

            • Captain Button
              Captain Button
              December 20, 2015 at 1:05 am | #

              No. I really haven’t done anything but watch .hack//SIGN and get acutely addicted to Yuki Kajiura’s music. I’ve gotten various of the games and videos but never gotten around to actually, you know, watching or playing them.

              (Not because of anything about .hack, I get that way about a lot of things.)

              PS: No idea who Orca is, other than not me.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                December 20, 2015 at 8:01 am | #

                Orca’s a main character from the .hack games who has the same character model as Bear, only his tattoos are green instead of blue.

                • Sageress
                  Sageress
                  December 20, 2015 at 9:11 pm | #

                  SHIT I FUCKED UP

    • Seth
      Seth
      December 20, 2015 at 2:52 am | #

      Nah, they already did that, but someone screwed up and created a second Pattern in an act of desperation, which is why she has a split personality now.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 20, 2015 at 8:56 am | #

        Poor Chaos.

    • ShadowCougar
      ShadowCougar
      December 20, 2015 at 2:57 am | #

      Ok, that was a very cleaver joke. (Note, he is referencing a book series called the Chronicles of Amber, not a game.)

      • StClair
        StClair
        December 20, 2015 at 5:52 am | #

        It’s both!

  6. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    *play Elton John’s “And I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues” on the hacked Muzak*

    • neeks
      neeks
      December 20, 2015 at 2:07 am | #

      I had that stuck in my head the other day, and I was telling my friend about it, and I was like “that probably isn’t the actual title of the song” except it turns out it is

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        December 21, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

        Just that I was around when it was a hit. So, yeah, it is.

  7. paldidy
    paldidy
    December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    i feel sorry for Danny and Amber. i hope this all turns around in a good way.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      December 20, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

      I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

      Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 20, 2015 at 3:11 am | #

        But the unfounded optimism is so cute.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        December 20, 2015 at 8:14 am | #

        Bouts of disappointment are better then a jaded meh-filled existence.

  8. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    How did this happen? the comic posted on time.

    Yea Danny, Amber is definitely a long-term project

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      December 20, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      You can’t make a project of people, you can’t fix them. You can encourage them to get help, ask them if they’d like to make a plan, and remind them of their coping strategies, but that’s about it.

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 20, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

        This. Like the one about the the psychiatrists and the light bulb, she has to want to change.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 20, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        oh! And you can be present for them, you can listen, if you’re good at doing those things. But pretty much all the work is theirs. I don’t know why, it just works out that way every dang time.

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 20, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

          But if you can’t haul out your metaphorical screwdriver and fix things, at least some, it means that you aren’t being clever and manipulative enough.

          • neeks
            neeks
            December 20, 2015 at 3:40 pm | #

            And that you can’t take credit for it when they do sort themselves out, which would be terrible.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        December 20, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

        I have been down this road before, it’s a project and you have to be in it for the long haul otherwise you’re just making things worse. You aren’t doing the fixing, you just hand them the tools when they ask, but still someone needs to be there with the tools for it to work. Nobody like Amber has ever gotten “fixed” by themselves even if they are doing most of the work.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 20, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

          I think I hear what you’re saying.

          So like, I do think that “fixing” does have to come from within, but it’s best done surrounded by support. Amber is the one who needs to make decisions and get help, but Danny and Ethan can push her into the right direction and be there for her.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          December 20, 2015 at 11:34 am | #

          Ah, I see what you mean. The support team!
          The concept fixing somebody is still problematic (it implies that they’re a broken, incomplete person, which they aren’t). But you’re right, a loyal pit crew as they heal, as they develop other strategies, whatever their approach is to making their lives better — that’s so important and helpful.

      • Stara
        Stara
        December 20, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

        Yeah; though it helps to have other people, these other people will be with that person at their worse: the awkward, toggling, unstable adherence to the determination-action-relapse stages of the transtheoretical model. In this respect Danny might be good for her: he’s present but generally not pushy and lets her have her space.

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 20, 2015 at 9:17 am | #

          Don’t have much respect for transtheoretical models. Given Amber’s background and trauma, she’s done an amazing job of repairing herself. Yes, the fix is badly flawed and yes, it’s fragile in places. But holy cheese, Amber is awesome.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            December 20, 2015 at 10:53 am | #

            What we call ‘psychological disorders’ are really the brain’s way of fixing itself, of dealing with traumas that are so bad, they would destroy the person, or render them unable to survive. We see them as ‘broken’ only because they don’t fit into our society’s notions of how a person is ‘supposed’ to behave.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              December 20, 2015 at 2:57 pm | #

              Or, put slightly differently: They’re the brains adaptions for dealing with horrific situations. They’re seen as a problem because once you’re out of that situation, you still have the adaption but it’s no longer appropriate to the more normal situation you’re now living in.

              • Captain Button
                Captain Button
                December 20, 2015 at 3:45 pm | #

                That is how David Drake always talks about it in his notes on his military science fiction. The mindset and behaviors that are sane in a war zone are insane back home.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        December 20, 2015 at 10:49 am | #

        Well, you CAN make a project of a person, but be prepared for disappointment and heartbreak.

  9. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    One way to turn those frowns upside-down is with a 69.

    • modulusshift
      modulusshift
      December 20, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Well, one of them at any rate. 🙂

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 20, 2015 at 11:37 am | #

        “Turn both of those frowns sideways, in two different directions!”
        They’ll be too busy working out what on earth we’re talking about to be sad anymore.

  10. modulusshift
    modulusshift
    December 20, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Also, .txt? Not even .rtf? How do you emphasize how big the dicks are?

    Actually, I’m really happy Amber’s a txt girl now that I think about it. Eesh.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 20, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      If we are talking 6 year old fanfic here, you really need lowest common denominator in file types as well as in … other things.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        December 20, 2015 at 12:32 am | #

        “It’s amazing that all of her fanfics are, somehow, .jpeg”

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      December 20, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      ASCII Art. Amber’s fanfic is multimedia.

      • modulusshift
        modulusshift
        December 20, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        ******Please view in 16 pt Courier for best effect!!******

        • EvilMidnightLurker
          EvilMidnightLurker
          December 20, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

          70-character lines, turn wordwrap off

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            December 20, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

            Dude, even my TI-99A had 80 character lines in the 1980’s.

            • Captain Button
              Captain Button
              December 20, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

              But you need to allow for multiple indenting on replies.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        December 20, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

        A fanfic contained entirely within an Atari 2600 cartridge.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          December 20, 2015 at 10:55 am | #

          I think they did that in Fallout, once…

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 20, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      point? reference to currency. mini-tape measure on one of my keychains.
      thats always a conversation piece and an icebreaker with dudes

      oh you mean Amber? I have no idea.

    • bhtooefr
      bhtooefr
      December 20, 2015 at 6:47 am | #

      There’s a surprising amount of fanfic on Pastebin…

    • GLaDOS
      GLaDOS
      December 20, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

      By using *bold*, /italic/ and _underline_.

      I started writing fanfic in the days when USENET was the place to post it, and I still write it in vi using that style of formatting. When I want to put it on AO3, I convert to HTML once it’s finished; a few quick search-and-replaces is all it takes.

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        December 20, 2015 at 9:26 am | #

        ^This. I use Open Document file types and save as RTF for posting at the moment, but when I’m in a pinch and have to use Notepad or another TXT editor, I use *bold*, /italic/ and _underline_ while typing.

  11. spriteless
    spriteless
    December 20, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    It’s so easy to dan it up when you’re with someone who was raised to blain it up.

  12. Cizak
    Cizak
    December 20, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Let me just check the list…
    Amber being a shit, check.
    Amber having an episode about it, check.
    Amber’s episode guilt trips Dan into believing he’s the one at fault, check.
    Good news, we’re right on track here. Feel free to carry on.

    • modulusshift
      modulusshift
      December 20, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      Thanks, Mike.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        December 20, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

        Thanks…. that one girl Billie broke the heart of, that one time, by accident?

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 20, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

          Thanks, Jason’s psycho murderous dimension hopping girlfriend.

          • Sageress
            Sageress
            December 20, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

            Thanks, oddly chubby skeleton hotdog vendor.

            • Tacos
              Tacos
              December 20, 2015 at 12:54 am | #

              What’s with all the thanks? Thanksgiving passed already.

              • Sageress
                Sageress
                December 20, 2015 at 12:57 am | #

                it’s called politeness, mysterious bag man

                • Tacos
                  Tacos
                  December 20, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

                  Curses. Politeness, my only weakness D:

                • inqntrol
                  inqntrol
                  December 20, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

                  Politeness, wasn’t that a thing in the last century?

                • TheCerpent
                  TheCerpent
                  December 20, 2015 at 8:45 am | #

                  It’s making a resurgence, Christmas Deadpool. Probably part of the latest “retro” phase.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 20, 2015 at 9:40 am | #

                  Thanks cool transformation from underrated SNES RPG.

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  December 20, 2015 at 10:57 am | #

                  Thanks, Deadpool Claus!

                • Kamino Neko
                  Kamino Neko
                  December 20, 2015 at 11:37 am | #

                  Thanks, Obama.

    • oysteinthenoisy
      oysteinthenoisy
      December 20, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

      Totally OT, but the Mike here looks as if he is trying to morph into Donald Trump.

      • neeks
        neeks
        December 20, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

        Not orange enough

        • Solenoid
          Solenoid
          December 20, 2015 at 2:22 am | #

          Then there’s the issue of the hair. The style is close, but the problem is it’s not a toupee.

          • Gamaran Sepudomyn
            Gamaran Sepudomyn
            December 20, 2015 at 7:03 am | #

            I’d like to imagine that Trump’s hair is some kind of parasite. At least he’d be doing good for someone that way, even if it’s only providing food for some kind of mutant caterpillar.

            • Wublub
              Wublub
              December 20, 2015 at 7:55 am | #

              Oh gods, that’s why he’s so stupid. The mutant caterpillar is FEEDING ON HIS BRAIN.

              • Captain Button
                Captain Button
                December 20, 2015 at 8:57 am | #

                So if he doesn’t get the nomination he will do a third party campaign as the Brain Slug Partycandidate?

                • Edupoet81
                  Edupoet81
                  December 20, 2015 at 10:28 am | #

                  Trump is so dumb I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t take. If Fry’s brain slug starved feeding on his brain, Trump’s certainly would.

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  December 20, 2015 at 11:00 am | #

                  See, that’s the problem – Trump’s brain slug WAS feeding off his brain. Problem is, it ran out. That’s when he decided to run for President. Now that poor thing is starving. What’s worse, it’s surrounded by other Republican presidential candidates – so, no alternate food sources available.

                • Jacknoir
                  Jacknoir
                  December 20, 2015 at 4:34 pm | #

                  no Trump IS the Hair, the rest is just Trump’s human host.
                  vote Trump or there will be Hell toupee…

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              December 20, 2015 at 2:52 pm | #

              I for one, welcome our alien brain parasite overlords.

  13. saki
    saki
    December 20, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    Important message. It’s okay to fail at helping. It counts for so much when you try.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 20, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      We R Hellping!

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 20, 2015 at 1:04 am | #

        I like both of these comments (saki’s and Captain Button’s)… and now I’m watching the entire series of ReBoot.

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 20, 2015 at 1:07 am | #

          Then my work here is done, and I must go.

          • inqntrol
            inqntrol
            December 20, 2015 at 1:25 am | #

            To your home planet?

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            December 20, 2015 at 11:58 am | #

            Reboot (and Beast Wars) was basically my childhood.

            I am still angry about that cliffhanger.

  14. Edupoet81
    Edupoet81
    December 20, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    So Danny remembered why he’s here. Incidentally, I almost said he remembered why he came, but then it occurred to me that there’s more than one way that can be interpreted.

    Ethan wants to be helpful here, but he’s clearly at as much of a loss as Danny. Amber’s issues go far beyond what either one of these boys are prepared to handle.

    • IDontcarenomore
      IDontcarenomore
      December 20, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

      Guess that he came for help on both issues and nothing wrong with that I guess.
      As far as being in over their heads, I agree. They can’t help her. Amber is way beyond the sit down with friends and discuss point.
      Going to someone who can help, like a parent they trust or school council or Leslie Bean would be the smart move here.

      • Viktoria
        Viktoria
        December 20, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

        Actual licensed therapist. Those people only help if they recommend a professional, which some of them will some won’t. Amber is way far beyond what almost anyone is equipped to deal with at this point.

      • Void
        Void
        December 20, 2015 at 5:23 am | #

        Is there a not kind of sucky parent in this comic that i don’t know about?

        • Kamino Neko
          Kamino Neko
          December 20, 2015 at 10:05 am | #

          There’s Sierra’s ‘rents. Amber’s mom. Mike’s family.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            December 20, 2015 at 10:06 am | #

            The Saruyamas and the Keeners are pretty great too.

    • Kraken
      Kraken
      December 20, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

      I feel like he only remembered because he was desperately thinking of a way he could avoid banging Ethan, so he only gets half-points.

  15. IDontcarenomore
    IDontcarenomore
    December 20, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    I disagree that Amber is attempting to guild Danny into anything.

    He is the one doing ‘the poor me, I don’t know what to do now’, act.
    This from the guy who dumped her when she needed him most, so he could date ‘Amazi-Girl’. Instead of telling him then she just walked away, not much elses she could do short of begging, and she dosen’t do that.

    This from the guy who not only enabled her to keep playacting at a secret identity, but asked her to wear her mask when they had sex. A great way to let Amber know that Amber didn’t count.

    This from a guy who only just today woke up to the fact that Amber is in a world of shit, and he helped.

    Not he isn’t to blame for any of it, but he wasn’t too aware of anything but his desire to date a super hero either. Maybe if he really cared for Amber, he’d had noticed a bit sooner.

    • IDontcarenomore
      IDontcarenomore
      December 20, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      drat, that’s supposed to be ‘guilt’ not guild….dang no edit opt.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 20, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      There needs to be a law against you or something.

      • IDontcarenomore
        IDontcarenomore
        December 20, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

        Probably.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 20, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

          I mean, how many times have people told you that these actions you keep ascribing to Danny haven’t happened?

          • Lord Stoneheart
            Lord Stoneheart
            December 20, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

            (Clicks Danny tag). So roughly 130 Danny comics ago we had Danny apologizing to Amber for suggesting that they shouldn’t hang out anymore.

            I’m not going to read the comments on all of those 130 Danny comics that have happened since, but I’m going to assume at least half of them have the twisted Idontcarenomore interpretation to Danny’s actions. (Which kinda makes their name ironic). And I’ll assume we always correct it.

            At this point I’m wonder if they are going to condense it to a simple “Danny is the worst”.

            • SDGlyph
              SDGlyph
              December 20, 2015 at 5:34 am | #

              Or “Joyce is the worst” or maybe just “Whichever character we’re discussing is the worst”.

              • Lord Stoneheart
                Lord Stoneheart
                December 20, 2015 at 8:25 am | #

                I was specifically referring to Idontcarenomore’s tendency to rant about how Danny is a monster for how he treated Amber like clockwork and not respond to anyone who points out that’s not what happened. (And repeat the cycle the next comic). Which I realize now means they’re most likely trolling. I’ll just shut up now.

          • DarkoNeko
            DarkoNeko
            December 20, 2015 at 1:13 am | #

            Isn’t it, like, a copy paste from the previous days or almost, too ?

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 20, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      Well, he DOESN’T know what to do, so I don’t think it’s much of an act. He’s honestly going to Ethan to seek any wisdom and advice that he might have.

      Also, was he even AWARE that she needed him badly at that point in time? She butted in, and I don’t think she explained the situation. (correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t archive searched for that strip.) Danny didn’t know that Amber and Amazi-Girl were one in the same because he’s a bit slow I guess. He felt like she was trying to get him to cheat on his girlfriend, and that hurt his feelings.

      If I remember right, it was Amber who made the choice to wear the mask, not Danny. That might’ve only been shown in the Slipshine I’ll have to look in a minute.

      I agree that Danny helped though. He is enabling her. He isn’t standing up for himself, he isn’t telling her that he wants all of her. I don’t agree that he doesn’t care about Amber. He does. He just doesn’t know how to deal with the reality in front of him, and I don’t think it’s fair to blame him for that.

      Amber has told him that “Amber” is not his girlfriend. That “Amber” is only his friend, and that he needs to follow that. She doesn’t want him to care about “Amber.” She wants him to care about her other side and only that. And Danny doesn’t know what to do with this, and I think he might be slowly figuring out that he CAN’T deal with it.

      • Carriethedragon
        Carriethedragon
        December 20, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

        I totally agree that Danny is doing the best he can in this situation. As someone who has dealt with emotionally unstable loved ones, it’s kind of hurtful to see people blaming Danny for not knowing what to do.

        I’d like to add to what you say here. “He is enabling her. He isn’t standing up for himself, he isn’t telling her that he wants all of her.” Perhaps that is what he’s been doing up to that point, though again, he doesn’t know what to do and it’s hard to push someone and maybe not always the best to take a hard line stance right away. Also, I’d argue that he DOES try to do this in the strip after he kisses her. He tells her that she is Amazi-Girl, that she is the person that he admires and wants. And she blows up in his face. The fact that he now may be blaming himself is easy to understand given that he’s a nonconfrontational person who’s just been blown up at, however unreasonably… it’s something I can really identify with.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 20, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

      You want to prove Amber didnt guilt him ( after she literally screamed at him blamed him, then herself ) by literally guilting Danny for everything Amber is personally responsible for. She may be a hot-mess, but she is extremely competent. you can’t take that from her.

      You forgot to blame Danny for getting kidnapped by Blaine.

      You have a point tho. Amber does look innocent of guilting, in comparison.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 20, 2015 at 9:30 am | #

        Danny is guilting himself because he cares about Amber and because emotional abuse fills a need he has. Amber is guilting herself and inadvertainly Danny because she is broken and it takes her a little while to put herself back together.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      December 20, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

      Mm.

      There’s nothing wrong with dumping somebody and getting together with somebody else. How would… how would he have known? “Man, that Lois Lane chick is a bongo for turning down Clark Kent for Superman.” I mean, come on.

      The secret identity thing, the “keep the mask on” shit, etc. etc., that all comes from the fact that he assumed she was just goofing around. (Plus, masks are hot in certain erotic circumstances). If I was dating a superhero or some shit, I wouldn’t assume that their secret identity is a personality disorder. Why the hell would I, considering that I am familiar with both the concept of superheros having secret identities and acting.

    • Cizak
      Cizak
      December 20, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

      How is it an act when he genuinly wants to help her?
      He was dating someone else (he thought) at the time he tried to break off contact with Amber. Danny is nothing if not faithful.
      She’s the one who demanded that he officially only dates A-G, with the justification of “I don’t want you to date Amber and just trust me on that without asking any question kthx”.
      She’s the one who presented the mask thing as an erotic choice, again after deciding that Danny is only dating Amber when she has a mask on.
      “If you really cared, you should have noticed that I was trying to hide the fact that I need help sooner.” Yeah, no guilt tripping Danny going on here.

    • Carriethedragon
      Carriethedragon
      December 20, 2015 at 12:48 am | #

      “He is the one doing ‘the poor me, I don’t know what to do now’, act.
      This from the guy who dumped her when she needed him most, so he could date ‘Amazi-Girl’. Instead of telling him then she just walked away, not much elses she could do short of begging, and she dosen’t do that.”

      (1) How the hell is he supposed to know that she “needed him most”? All he knew was that this girl, whom he had previously told that he was interested in but had decided to pursue someone else, wrangled him into pretending that they were dating, making him feel unfaithful to his girlfriend. It’s hard when you like two different people and it’s shitty if someone tries to take advantage of your attraction and get you to be unfaithful. Danny couldn’t know why Amber knew it would be OK.

      (2) Not much she could do short of begging? Really? How about tell the truth? I know that this is all very complicated and I don’t blame Amber for not telling him in that moment, but seriously.

    • neeks
      neeks
      December 20, 2015 at 2:20 am | #

      “If he really cared, he would have noticed it sooner” is actually a really horrible thing to say about/to a person in the context of a loved one’s mental health problems. It’s not impossible to hide this stuff from even the people in your life who really give a shit, especially if they don’t know they’re supposed to be looking.

      And no, Danny isn’t the most observant guy, but that doesn’t make him a dick for not knowing any better. He’s just figuring out how deep the rabbit hole goes, but instead of running away he’s trying to help, and seeking help from someone with experience in (also trying to be) doing so. I’m not sure how that counts against the boy.

      • Adam Black
        Adam Black
        December 20, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

        ( i lost track who this was aimed at )
        As someone who has actually done this in real life, you dont know what you are talking about. Amber has a personality disorder , probably Borderline with elements of dissociation and splitting ( which are common features ) .

        You have no idea how deep that rabbit holes goes, It just goes and goes and curls up in itself in a-drama Ouroboros.
        Observing is NOT enough, you need a specialist to know what those observations mean.

        Dannys has been doing the right thing, and not getting sucked deep into the drama . That cant last.
        Amber knows this, and thats why shes having him date Amazigirl. instead.

        But she doesnt realize she starving him of regular affection and genuine interaction . Danny wants both but doesnt know what that means.

        If shes Borderline Amber CANT date Danny because she likes him. That would trigger her. BPS project all their illness onto their partner.
        its complicated!

        • neeks
          neeks
          December 20, 2015 at 4:06 am | #

          I get that Danny and Ethan aren’t anywhere near enough of the help that Amber really really needs, which can probably only be given by a medical professional. They’re all still kids. Legal adults, but barely. Obviously just noticing Amber has issues and caring about her isn’t going to be enough, but hopefully their support can get her to a place where she can SEEK the professional help she needs (and actually be helped by it…I’m aware the mental health system is by no means perfect, either).

          I was mostly just commenting on idontcarenomore’s assertion that not noticing how unstable Amber really is meant that Danny didn’t care enough. All I have to go by is my own personal experiences with mental unhealth, and I realize depression =/= what Amber has going on upstairs, but…

          Well, to put it plainly, I’ve spent the last year and a half in a really deep depression, complete with suicidal ideation, and the fact that I WAS suicidal was a complete shock to basically my whole support network, including my mother, who I saw and spoke to regularly for the duration. We’re very close. But she had no idea how bad off I was, because I faked it well enough and it’s not like I actually vocalized any of the bad places I got to mentally. And then there’s my best friend, who is one of my roommates, who I saw even more often than my mom, and SHE had no idea. And then there’s my other roommate/good friend, who has a DOCTORATE IN PSYCHOLOGY, and also had no idea. And it’s not because they or my mother didn’t care enough to, like, develop psychic powers and drag me out of my dark place or whatever the OP is expecting of Danny (to get back on topic), who again is an 18yo boy with presumably jack shit in the way of training as a mental health professional.

          So no, I’m pretty sure “if he really cared he would have noticed it sooner” is a really messed up thing to say. Is caring enough, ultimately? No, love is not, in fact, all you need. (Sorry, John Lennon.) But Danny recognizing a problem is there and that he is woefully ill-equipped to handle it on his own and caring enough to seek help in helping Amber is a decent start. There’s no perfect and easy solution here, but I doubt that Danny “peacing out” of his relationship(s) with Amber’s various…personalities? Alters? Compartmentalizations?…would do more than confirm to her that Amber ruins everything she touches and doesn’t deserve nice things, and that AG is better off going it alone too.

          Anyway I just hope her health insurance is up to the task, if/when she does seek help from a pro.

    • Sam
      Sam
      December 20, 2015 at 9:41 pm | #

      LOL, you *really* dont like Danny, do you?

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        December 20, 2015 at 10:52 pm | #

        Maybe it’s a cunning plan to make us like Danny by generating sympathy through excessive trolling posts.

  16. Emma
    Emma
    December 20, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    tbh I don’t think Danny did anything wrong, and I feel bad that he thinks he did. I hope talking it out with Ethan will bring him some kind of comfort and maybe some guidance? Ethan was with her for a long time, she might’ve had outbursts with him too.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 20, 2015 at 12:30 am | #

      We’ve seen at least one, where she flipped a table because Ethan kept dating Joyce.

      Baseless guilt is how Danny rolls; if he can find a reason why something is his fault, he’ll take it. He did do a thing that made Amber react negatively, but he seems more concerned with Amber’s behaviour than he is with blaming himself for causing it.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        December 20, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

        Low self esteem and shitty, shitty parents will do that to a guy.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      December 20, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

      Nooooo,
      “I don’t think Danny did anything wrong, and I feel bad that he thinks he did.”
      Thats literally Ambers pattern. Dont act it out.

      No putting on suits and beating up bad guys. Leave that to the professionals ,and Batgirl.

  17. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    December 20, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

    Oh, look, the buffer’s updating again. I was wondering how long it would take: first, out of morbid curiosity as to how much fatherhood would impact Willis’s comic-drawing OCD, and secondly because if it was a long enough pause I was going to be looking forward to seeing if there was any noticeable difference in the art between March 21 and 22.

  18. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 20, 2015 at 1:23 am | #

    That is so important for Danny to hear. With Amber in particular, but in his life in general. What he does IS positive and it is important.

  19. batman
    batman
    December 20, 2015 at 1:32 am | #

    Smiling is overrated

  20. bearfuz
    bearfuz
    December 20, 2015 at 1:40 am | #

    Now that they’ve talked about Amber and all that, they totally need to just do it, now. It’s time for another Slipshine, right?

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 20, 2015 at 9:34 am | #

      You are totally insensitive. I like that.

  21. zee
    zee
    December 20, 2015 at 2:08 am | #

    I got a little misty on this one. I’ve never heard my relationship with my wife described so well. She’s brilliant, funny, and successful…. but sometimes she just falls apart. And it feels like nothing I say is helping; like I’m not making a dent in the impenetrable wall of self-loathing. But later she tells me ever word sinks in, even if it doesn’t show at the time.

    Its rough.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      December 20, 2015 at 12:06 pm | #

      That makes sense and does sound rough. Supportive Internet Vibes from afar.

  22. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 20, 2015 at 3:08 am | #

    Yes, thank you Ethan. That is exactly what someone needed to say to Danny: That, as hard as it is, he has had a positive effect on Amber, both in the past and in the present. He needs to endure with her and keep pounding at that wall. Given enough time, even a wall of solid diamond can be abraded away.

    Loving Amber O’Malley is, by definition, hard. Every bit of progress measured only in fractions of an inch. However, she needs someone who is willing to do just that and I think that Danny wants to be that person. However, like many carers IRL, he needs support too for those hard times and I think that Ethan, caring, empathetic, loving Ethan, is just the man for that job.

    • ScarvesandCelery
      ScarvesandCelery
      December 20, 2015 at 5:38 am | #

      “Given enough time, even a wall of solid diamond can be abraded away.”
      Been Watching Doctor Who recently?

      Excellent commentary on carers and the emotional support they can need too.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 20, 2015 at 9:36 am | #

        Funny you should ask.

      • DinaWho
        DinaWho
        December 20, 2015 at 5:55 pm | #

        Sadly, I don’t think they have a couple billion years to spare.
        (That might even be enough time for them to graduate, though xP)

        Could be a reference, could not. In episode it was referencing an existing saying/story, after all.

        Also, love the name you’re using. (Fivey is my fave)

  23. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    December 20, 2015 at 3:47 am | #

    No more .txt, on to texts. Expansion!

    • Clif
      Clif
      December 20, 2015 at 9:37 am | #

      On to sub.txt

  24. Idris
    Idris
    December 20, 2015 at 4:08 am | #

    This here is why the relationship between Danny and Sal in this comic is so very interesting as well. If he’s still tutoring her in math, that’s something he really needs, a problem that isn’t a huge investment for him, where he can do some real help and see real results. Dude’s a helper, and Amber… even in the best case scenario, I doubt there’s going to be any really visible results anytime in the near future.

    Of course, then you have the flipside. He has no clue about the huge buttloads of drama between Amber and Sal, and how that will complicate the things he cares about more down the line.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 20, 2015 at 4:13 am | #

      I occasionally fantasise Danny being some kind of catalyst in terms of the Sal/Amber dynamic and forcing them to confront their shared past and their role in each other’s neuroses; if he did, it probably would be unintentionally so.

      • HiiroArana79
        HiiroArana79
        December 20, 2015 at 5:36 am | #

        Sal/Amber =hawt!

  25. skdk
    skdk
    December 20, 2015 at 4:54 am | #

    wow, are people here actually saying that amber is trying to guilt trip danny? wtf. you people disgust me and i think you should read on more about mental health, depression and self hatred soon. i feel so sorry for the person with mental health problems who ever tries to come to you for comfort

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 20, 2015 at 5:44 am | #

      It’s just hte same guy every day.

      • Clif
        Clif
        December 20, 2015 at 9:44 am | #

        We’re all the same guy (or in some cases, gal) day after day. Some are even the same troll.

    • Cizak
      Cizak
      December 20, 2015 at 12:10 pm | #

      “I have mental helth problems” is not an excuse to treat the people around you like crap. Yeah, when you’re in an episode you sometimes have trouble controlling what you say and do, but how you act after your episode says a lot. And Amber never comes to Danny for comfort. She has expressivly forbidden Danny to interact with one of her two personalities in public, and constantly cuddles up to him and is super sweet when she dons the mask. Can you see how confusing and frustrating that is? Danny has to obligation towards Amber’s mental health. It’s perfectly fine to cut shitty people out of your life in order to stay happy yourself.

      • Cizak
        Cizak
        December 20, 2015 at 12:12 pm | #

        Danny has no obligations*

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 20, 2015 at 12:27 pm | #

      Hello I have depression, anxiety, a panic disorder, and PTSD, and I can tell you that mental illness does not excuse being awful to the people around you. It’s an explanation. Not an excuse. I don’t think Amber is intentionally guilt tripping Danny though. It just…kinda happened because she had an episode and ran off. I’ve had this happen before at parties where I have to go hide in the bathroom for a bit, and the person who brought me feels bad, and I have to assure them that it isn’t their fault.

      I used to treat everyone around me like shit until I was taken to the psych ward and put on better medication. Treating my family like gum on the bottom of my shoe was not excusable. We know WHY I did it, but I don’t think that I can just say “lol oops that was my mental health issues and so if it happens again you can’t say anything against it.”

      I’ve had people leave me because I WAS a toxic person to be around for a bit. I left an awful elationship because his alcoholism (which he flat out refused to treat) and mental health issues caused him to do literal horrific things to me that I don’t want to get into at risk of triggering people. I had to get out. I dint just say “welp I guess it’s just his mental health, so lets ignore all this.”

      Danny shouldn’t ignore what’s going on. And if he needs to cut her out, he needs to cut her out. He can’t make her do anything. He can’t fix her. He can’t make everything okay. So if she’s getting to intense, if she’s harming him emotionally, getting out of that relationship is okay. Some of me wonders if maybe she should focus on herself for a while before being in a relationship, much like I’m doing right now.

      • Emma
        Emma
        December 20, 2015 at 12:29 pm | #

        apologies for the numerous typos, oops.

  26. HiiroArana79
    HiiroArana79
    December 20, 2015 at 5:35 am | #

    Girlfriends who are secretly superheroes. I think Jenny Jones tackled that one. Or, it was at least an article on Cracked.com.

  27. Black
    Black
    December 20, 2015 at 8:45 am | #

    Is it ACTUALLY helping, Ethan, or are you just telling yourself it is?

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 20, 2015 at 12:30 pm | #

      I think it might help in the short term, which is why he’s not smiling.

  28. Heather
    Heather
    December 20, 2015 at 9:56 am | #

    There’s going to be no magic wand for this Danny, sorry to say. All you can do is decide if you want to keep at this (which I suspect you do), be there for her, while also realising your own happiness also matters. Ethan can in a way be your support though, if you let him, and Amber lets you be hers. You’ll still need help from an older adult though it seems to me. Or at least convince Amber to go to one.

    I have to wonder about Amber’s mother honestly at points. Like apart from when Joe’s dad swoops in do we ever see her? Like what does she do when she hears her abusive exhusband has been in town? We never see Amber getting support there from her do we? Unless we get anything mentioned? Anyone clue me in? I mean I know all but like Dorothy’s parents kind of suck but I just… yeah.

    Can Danny and Ethan bring in her mom? Like they don’t even have to mention AG necessarily.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 20, 2015 at 10:03 am | #

      I think that Danny and Ethan are worried with bringing in any kind of authority figure, since if they do, Amber would get arrested.

  29. potatoaddict
    potatoaddict
    December 20, 2015 at 11:05 am | #

    Ever have one of those days when the speech bubbles in a comic reflect a very real scenario in your life, & indeed you feel a mix of worry, exasperation & compassion for someone, whose convinced themselves they can’t overcome their problems constructively?

    Goddamnit, Willis. GG

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      December 21, 2015 at 12:00 am | #

      that was his evil plan ALL ALONG

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        December 21, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

        hmm, wrong e-mail again

        I’M SO CONFUSED T_T

  30. Captain Button
    Captain Button
    December 20, 2015 at 12:51 pm | #

    I am sure Ethan’s experience supporting Amber contributed to his helping Dina when she couldn’t Stop The Faces.

  31. Screwball
    Screwball
    December 20, 2015 at 5:59 pm | #

    Hmmm, here’s something I stumbled onto while surfing that Mr David Willis might like to know.

    Seems the people at Epicstream think Shortpacked is a “Fantasy Webcomic that will Rock Your World”. Turns out they rather liked it. Low on time so won’t go into details, but I’ll throw the link at the bottom…
    http://epicstream.com/features/4-Fantasy-Webcomics-that-will-Rock-Your-World

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      December 20, 2015 at 6:02 pm | #

      it has been made aware http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/135547191462/4-fantasy-webcomics-that-will-rock-your-world

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