Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 5, 2026

Rube

by David M Willis on May 28, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - When God Closes The Door
└ Tags: carla, mary

Discussion (467) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 28, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    turn the crank

    hit the plank

    kick the boot

    and down the chute

    watch it roll

    hit the pole

    in the tub

    a rub-a-dub

    put the man

    in the pan

    the trap is SET

    and dro-o-o-o-o-o-op the net

    GOTCHA

    • Captain Batson
      Captain Batson
      May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

      Hehe, mousetrap was a fun game.

      • Hoboturtle
        Hoboturtle
        May 28, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

        How did you play moise trap. A friend of mine had a copy when we were kids and we couldnt figure it out. We just built the full trap instead and watched it as it went.

        • smashman42
          smashman42
          May 28, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

          Wait, that isn’t how you play it?

        • Cholma
          Cholma
          May 28, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

          I haven’t played or even SEEN the game since the 1970s, so I don’t remember the rules, but our family had the game when I was a kid. (with 6 kids, our house was FILLED with Playskool, Hasbro, & Milton Bradley products! Plus, my dad was a wargamer, who got me hooked, so we also had a ton of Avalon Hill wargames as well)

          • MrSpkr
            MrSpkr
            May 28, 2016 at 1:26 am | #

            I wish you had loaned your dad out to me a few times. I’ve played dozens of AH war games back in the 70s and 80s, nearly all solitary myself.

            • Cholma
              Cholma
              May 28, 2016 at 1:52 am | #

              That’s what he would do, with rare exceptions, until I was old enough to play with him. Blitzkrieg, Sink the Bismark, Gettysburgh, Against the Reich, Hit the Beach! Axis & Allies, and so many others that I can’t even remember the names of. Plus chess, of course. Can’t be a serious wargamer if you can’t played chess. (it’s the original wargame! (AFAIK))

              • Ana Chronistic
                Ana Chronistic
                May 28, 2016 at 3:06 am | #

                Go predates chess by about a millennium, if we’re “well actually”ing here

                though I’m curious if I’m the only one who’s heard of Troke (and only because my folks had an incomplete copy from the 1905s that my ex ended up leaving outside the garage where it got covered in oil)

                • Cholma
                  Cholma
                  May 28, 2016 at 3:27 am | #

                  Doh! How could I forget about “Go”?! As for Troke, I’ve never heard of it, but a quick search shows me this. Looks like an interesting and novel take on Chinese Checkers.

                  And now you’ve reminded me that when I served in Korea back in the 1980s, I used to play a game called 장기 (Chahng-gi), also known as Korean Chess. Wonder how old that is, although it’s based on an even older Chinese game that’s very similar. I even have a copy of 장기 in a box somewhere (probably with all my other military items/mementos) but I’ve forgotten how to play.

        • Skorpeyon
          Skorpeyon
          May 28, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

          Basically, if I remember right, you had to get all the cards to build the trap, then try to catch someone when they landed on the proper space. I literally never once played the game “correctly”, though, I just built the thing like everyone else. I randomly read the rules one day when I was bored and was all “Oh, there’s RULES??” or whatever.

          • vlademir1
            vlademir1
            May 28, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

            That’s more or less right. I only ever played it twice, but it’s essentially your standard roll and move game. You land on the spaces that let you build one piece of the trap and collect cheese, eventually players are in the final loop under the cage and the goal is to expend a cheese counter on the one space on the board that lets you set the trap off to capture, and thereby eliminate, your opponents who are on the not safe parts of the loop.
            Hasbro has a copy of the rules on their website as a PDF if anyone wants to actually read them

            • Formedras
              Formedras
              May 28, 2016 at 3:48 am | #

              Unfortunately, then came Elefun & Friends Mouse Trap.

        • Rowen Morland
          Rowen Morland
          May 28, 2016 at 11:45 am | #

          As players travel the board they get squares that give them the right to put parts of the trap together. The goal is to either get to the cheese before it is built or to be the second mouse/only remaining free mouse.

        • Ed Rhodes
          Ed Rhodes
          May 28, 2016 at 8:10 pm | #

          You were supposed to move your mouse around the board. When you hit a “piece” space, you put the next piece of the trap on the board. Toward the end, you have the entire trap built and are waiting until one of the other people is in the right spot to get caught. Then you turn the wheel and watch the trap in action.

      • merbrat
        merbrat
        May 28, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

        Find the Maker Faire near you. They tour with a Life Size Mouse Trap set-up. (real bath tub, etc. It is wonderous.
        http://www.seeker.com/life-size-mouse-trap-kicks-off-maker-faire-1767530130.html#news.discovery.com

        • All-Purpose Guru
          All-Purpose Guru
          May 28, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

          Dude, I always wanted to build a full-sized Mouse Trap game.

          • merbrat
            merbrat
            May 28, 2016 at 12:17 pm | #

            “Maker Faire Mousetrap” in images. Go. do eeet. Plot. Plan. Make.

      • JetstreamGW
        JetstreamGW
        May 28, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

        It was a game? I thought it was just a cute rube goldberg thing you set up to watch it do its thing 😛

        • Yet_One_More_Idiot
          Yet_One_More_Idiot
          May 28, 2016 at 3:05 am | #

          Surely though, Mary could just set off the trap by fully opening the door, then slam it shut before the final step goes off and avoid the end result?

          • CianM1301
            CianM1301
            May 28, 2016 at 4:09 am | #

            That is a possibility, yes, but she’s probably to busy staring in horror at what horrible thing is about to happen to her.

    • nothri
      nothri
      May 28, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Okay, just how in the fuck of fuck did you type all of that and still make the first comment? Do you control the Speed Force?

      • miados
        miados
        May 28, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

        i think patreon subscribers get early access even if they have to post like anyone else only after it is out in general. so copy and paste.

        • butting
          butting
          May 28, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

          All that, and Ana controls the Speed Force.

          It is Known.

          • Ntrovert60
            Ntrovert60
            May 28, 2016 at 4:08 pm | #

            It is known.

            • nothri
              nothri
              May 28, 2016 at 6:50 pm | #

              Is it known?

        • Cholma
          Cholma
          May 28, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

          Yep. Patreon peeps get the next day’s comic shortly after the current one posts (Saturday night’s comic arrived in my mailbox a few minutes ago) and so Ana has 24 hours to figure out a comment, write it down, then copy+paste at the appropriate time.

          • Ana Chronistic
            Ana Chronistic
            May 28, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

            Oh, not all the time! Only when it was funny =D

            P-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B

            • miados
              miados
              May 28, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

              Hmmmmm i can make a joke here about todays not being funny here…..

    • Sionyx
      Sionyx
      May 28, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

      Aw, ya beat me to it, complete with mouseovers! Damn net getting stuck…

      I SO hope that Carla’s got a camera set up.

  2. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Revenge-goldberg machine.

    • Clif
      Clif
      May 28, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Ending with a pie to the face. Calling it now.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        May 28, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        So many pies.

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        May 28, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        Much as I would love that, I think this’ll do absolutely nothing outside of driving Mary ever closer to the edge of a paranoid psychotic breakdown. Which is also good.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          May 28, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

          Arguably better, as it further reduces the chance that any authorities she whines at will give a fuck.

          • Commodore Jeep-Eep
            Commodore Jeep-Eep
            May 28, 2016 at 7:50 am | #

            Yeah, but she might start acting out in other ways.

          • Ethan
            Ethan
            May 28, 2016 at 12:23 pm | #

            Unfortunately, college authorities tend to listen to who whines the loudest, and it’s very obvious that Mary’s safe space is being intruded upon.

            • Zamer
              Zamer
              May 28, 2016 at 1:52 pm | #

              It’s a good thing Tchaikovsky’s Overture will help lower the volume of the whining.

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        May 28, 2016 at 9:15 am | #

        There’s no pie in the machine sorry. On the other hand, I can’t quite tell what it does.

        • showler
          showler
          May 28, 2016 at 9:25 am | #

          I’m guessing the tubes on the poles are glue, and the box contains feathers?

          • Clif
            Clif
            May 28, 2016 at 9:54 pm | #

            Pie.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      May 28, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Rutten-Goldberg machine.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        May 28, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

        Rude-Goldberg machine.

    • TheAnonymousGuy
      TheAnonymousGuy
      May 28, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

      so, who else noticed that Carla has a box with billies name on it? well her first name Jenifer

      • Baf
        Baf
        May 28, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

        That box also appeared here, when Carla started whistling the 1812 Overture.

        It’s from the care package from Mrs. Walkerton.

        It’s totally a pie.

        • TheAnonymousGuy
          TheAnonymousGuy
          May 28, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

          I know, I’ve been following since the middle of book 5, however I’m confused on weather or not Mary knows about Ruth and Billie. there was a strip a few weeks ago that made me question weather or not she knew and if they really had to call it quits. Also amber needs to chill out about sal. just saying

          • Neeks
            Neeks
            May 28, 2016 at 2:42 am | #

            Mary made reference to Ruth “defiling the cheerleader” and I highly doubt she was referring to ruth de-embroidering Billie’s old uniform. So yeah, she probably knows.

            • Coren
              Coren
              May 28, 2016 at 3:26 am | #

              I think it’s related to alcohol use or something else – check out this one
              http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/charade/
              This doesn’t sound like someone who thinks the other party has been engaging in a same sex relationship, does it?

              • Excal
                Excal
                May 28, 2016 at 5:07 am | #

                Oh, that’s actually a pretty subtle catch. Excellent point.

              • TheAnonymousGuy
                TheAnonymousGuy
                May 28, 2016 at 5:00 pm | #

                YES! that’s exactly the strip I’m talking about

          • trlkly
            trlkly
            May 28, 2016 at 6:53 am | #

            No, Mary knows:
            http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/dvr/

            Found this when I was archive binging.

            • TheAnonymousGuy
              TheAnonymousGuy
              May 28, 2016 at 5:07 pm | #

              Hmmm…well on a second look, you could make the argument Mary’s looking at Becky. I mean she did announce her preference to the main lobby.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                May 28, 2016 at 5:11 pm | #

                No. That was when Joyce was first introducing Becky to everyone. Before she was out at all. Before her confession to Joyce.

  3. Haven
    Haven
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    I know the alt text identifies it, but my first thought was that song whistled near the start of Kill Bill.

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      May 28, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

      I thought so too at first, but nah, 1812 totally suits the moment.
      https://youtu.be/DtQIS1-8SYU

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 28, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

      It is the 1812 Overture; it’s what she has been whistling here and here too.

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        May 28, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

        second link failed; click here.

  4. Nick Piers
    Nick Piers
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    *impression of Rhino from the movie BOLT*

    Let it begin.
    Let it begin!
    LET IT BEGIIIIIIIN!

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 28, 2016 at 6:35 pm | #

      +1

  5. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    It has begun!

    • modulusshift
      modulusshift
      May 28, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      So let’s see, the bowling ball bounces off of the books onto the trampoline, and hits the flyswatter, which I assume turns the hairdryer on and pushes the balloon over to the needle which pops it, but I can’t tell what happens after that.

      • thomas
        thomas
        May 28, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

        It looks like the balloon is meant to drop something (maybe a marble inside it?) onto that ramp thing, which will roll to the bottom… and then idk what happens after that. I almost but not quite recognize the candleholder like things with the yellow wire things attached to them…

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        May 28, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

        I believe the balloon will then probably release a marble to travel down the paper chutes which does… something to the yellow devices attached to the row of black poles.

        • Darastrix
          Darastrix
          May 28, 2016 at 2:31 am | #

          I’m thinking maybe a marble from the popped balloon rolls down the first chute, bumps the pipe, which causes a marble placed at the top of the next chute to roll down and bump the next pipe, which causes the marble in the NEXT chute…. Because that’s not a single continuous ramp; it’s four ramps between each pair of pipes.

          As for the pipes…I have no idea, so, speculation – the pipe things are on vibration-sensitive timers that kick off at the first marble impact, so each is on a shorter timer than the last, so while Mary’s watching the marbles travel, the countdown is happening. At 0:00 the pipe things go off all at once and do…something. Maybe they just create a brief flash to blind Mary for a few seconds, which could be why Carla is standing to the side instead of at a point where she could watch (Mary’s so focused on the machine, she probably wouldn’t notice Carla if she were further out into the hall and watching), and then when she recovers, pie from Carla.

          • Bearmarshal
            Bearmarshal
            May 28, 2016 at 6:27 am | #

            Someone suggested the chandeliers were synched to the cannons in the 1812 Overture, which makes me believe they’re prepped with gunpowder, and those yellow things are either lighters or detonators (I’m inclined to believe the latter, as the cord from them goes upwards). A marble rolling down the chute could be meant to trigger them at evenly spaced intervals (yeah, it looks a bit broken for that, but perhaps it would roll around?).

            Also, I’m having my doubts about that being a needle for popping the balloon. It’s too far down, even if the balloon gets stuck on the plug on the cord (and it looks too tightly fastened to travel at all). I was speculating that the hair dryer would heat the balloon, causing it to rise, but I’m not sure to what effect…

            Also, there’s something straight and metallic-looking on the floor going out from the chandelier to off-screen, which for the purpose of analysing this machine could be a wildcard…

          • Clif
            Clif
            May 28, 2016 at 9:58 pm | #

            Engineering genius at it’s finest.

      • JoyceParty
        JoyceParty
        May 28, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        I think something is in the balloon, which would fall from the white cup down the white slide to… something.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        May 28, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

        There’s a weight in the cup which will land in the spoon/cup at the end of the arm. Levering action will pull the entire arm down, triggering what… look like gas-fed torches?

        And then… what?

        I’m still trying to figure out what happens if Mary just slams the door shut for the next minute.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          May 28, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

          *weight in the baloon

        • StClair
          StClair
          May 28, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

          She won’t. She can’t.
          She has to watch it play out.

        • Kirby
          Kirby
          May 28, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

          I think it’s a complicated distraction that’ll make Mary breathe a sigh of relief when she realize it doesn’t do anything, then Carla pies her.

          • podian
            podian
            May 28, 2016 at 4:03 am | #

            YES.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            May 28, 2016 at 6:05 am | #

            There’s a lull for the pie, then it shoots some confetti and a pneumatic valve lets air out of a balloon through a party horn.

        • nicostrat
          nicostrat
          May 28, 2016 at 10:15 am | #

          It’s an unskippable cutscene

  6. Wheelpath
    Wheelpath
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    This is setting up for something amazing

    • Clif
      Clif
      May 28, 2016 at 7:20 pm | #

      Pie can be amazing.

  7. TheAnonymousGuy
    TheAnonymousGuy
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    When the last note leaves her lips, vengeance will be finalized

  8. miados
    miados
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    its a science project……. yeah a project.

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

      The difference between goofing off and science is that we write down our results. (Paraphrased from Mythbusters)

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        May 28, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

        As long as you say, “For Science!” everything’s good.

        • miados
          miados
          May 28, 2016 at 2:11 am | #

          why are you killing me?!?!

          for science!

          • chris2315
            chris2315
            May 28, 2016 at 3:04 am | #

            Well, I guess at least it’s for a good cause.

            • Harvey Janus
              Harvey Janus
              May 28, 2016 at 10:30 am | #

              “I think we can put our differences behind us… for science… you monster.”

          • StClair
            StClair
            May 28, 2016 at 3:15 am | #

            “I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you. So, let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. How do you feel?”

            • Sensei Le Roof
              Sensei Le Roof
              May 28, 2016 at 12:03 pm | #

              “NOT FIFTY!!!”

  9. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    She must have been her grade school’s champion at Mousetrap.

  10. Lauralot
    Lauralot
    May 28, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    I’ve never been more in love.

    • Dellaran
      Dellaran
      May 28, 2016 at 1:48 pm | #

      what’s going on in my pants?

  11. Dara
    Dara
    May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand WE’RE OFF!

  12. Julie
    Julie
    May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    CARLA: THE REVENGEANCE

    • RandomRedMage
      RandomRedMage
      May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      Metal Carla Solid: Revengeance

      • Mordecai
        Mordecai
        May 28, 2016 at 4:49 pm | #

        RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINES, SON. They activate in response to thinly-veiled bigotry! You can’t hurt me, Mary!

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      RULES OF NATURE

      • AGV
        AGV
        May 28, 2016 at 5:09 am | #

        The arrogance of Mary is thinking that the floor is under her control, and not the other way around. Let them fight.

  13. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    I’m almost regretful it won’t end with Mary dying in a horrific cartoon manner.

    • AGV
      AGV
      May 28, 2016 at 5:10 am | #

      Itchy and Scratchy style?

  14. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    So she’s going Tom and Jerry on her ass?

  15. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    I have no words, only tears of joy.

  16. RandomRedMage
    RandomRedMage
    May 28, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Im kinda sad this isnt going to be an animated moment…

    • Cholma
      Cholma
      May 28, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      Oh man! What a perfect strip for a .gif panel! Wait, no. TOMORROW’S strip should be the animated one. Yessss.

    • Shade
      Shade
      May 28, 2016 at 1:15 pm | #

      Don’t worry. somebody will make it after this is over.

  17. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Awww, how sweet. Carla made Mary a replica of Pee-Wee Herman’s breakfast machine as a peace offering.

    One bit of Mr. T cereal, and Mary will realize Carla isn’t all that bad.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      May 28, 2016 at 1:23 am | #

      “I pity the fool who doesn’t eat Mr. T’s cereal!”

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        May 28, 2016 at 6:10 am | #

        “It’s cool!”

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      May 28, 2016 at 10:53 am | #

      More like Wallace and Gromit than anything else, from what I can see.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        May 28, 2016 at 10:38 pm | #

        Also: Heath Robinson, the metric version of Rube’s particular genius.

  18. Mada
    Mada
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Yes, but what exactly is all that going to DO?

    • Smiling Cat
      Smiling Cat
      May 28, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

      Real secret? It doesn’t do anything, except make Mary panic, shut her door to avoid setting it off, and descend into paranoid insanity over what might happen if she leaves the room.

      As a backup plan, Carla has a pie in the box.

      • Jason
        Jason
        May 28, 2016 at 2:33 am | #

        That was my suspicion! Mary will slam the door, and when she next looks out all of this will be gone and Carla pretends nothing happened.

        • RIP12081990
          RIP12081990
          May 28, 2016 at 5:04 am | #

          Best revenge plot ever cause undue paranoia in the target (Mary) and make them fear leaving their room carla you have my heart if this is what your doing otherwise it unfortunately still belongs to mike

  19. Danny
    Danny
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    So Mary is pretty much trapped, right?

    • EmilyK
      EmilyK
      May 28, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Not for long- she already triggered it, hence the bowling ball “falling” and the piece of wood starting to fly through the air. Let the shenanigans commence!

    • Jason
      Jason
      May 28, 2016 at 10:36 pm | #

      She could pull a Sal (or an Amazi-Girl) and escape through the window, maybe?

  20. Kingmabel
    Kingmabel
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    I’m like, 80% sure that this is against some rules… I would be willing to overlook those rules in this one instance

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 28, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

      In a situation like this, I would channel my inner Sgt. Schultz — “I see nothing, I was not here, I did not even get up this morning…”

      • Ntrovert60
        Ntrovert60
        May 28, 2016 at 4:15 pm | #

        I did not say this.

        I was never here…

    • Dean
      Dean
      May 28, 2016 at 9:22 am | #

      Ruth: “Sorry Mary, there’s no school regulation forbidding complex revenge machines. I know because I checked when Carla asked me about it a few days ago.”

  21. horrorshow88
    horrorshow88
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    All I can think of is the cannons in the 1812 Overture, and it makes me very excited.

  22. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Cue 30 million posts of either “CARLA!” or “RUBE-GOLDBERG!” machine… that said…

    CARLA!!!!!
    RUBE-GOLDBERG MACHINE!!!

    • heyman
      heyman
      May 28, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

      Um, why the dash?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:53 am | #

      Cause I’m an idiot who always assumed there was a dash?

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 28, 2016 at 9:29 am | #

        Maybe you thought it was a joint invention, by two guys named Mr. Rube and Mr. Goldberg?

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 11:32 am | #

          Or maybe it was by their daughter Maxine Rube-Goldberg?

  23. Guairdean
    Guairdean
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Wait! Joyce, Jocelyne, and Becky have 200 bucks! Do they get to order from the adult menu? I’m still working on the end result of the trap.

  24. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    The Revengineer strikes!

    Oh, but did she take steps to ensure Roz wouldn’t be targeted?

    • Rachel
      Rachel
      May 28, 2016 at 2:27 am | #

      tbh Roz (while she tries) kinda sucks when it comes to allyship. while I think Mary is far more deserving of Carla’s wrath, I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to give Roz a pie to the face.

      • Sam
        Sam
        May 28, 2016 at 2:47 pm | #

        She’s kind of like one of those people who isn’t LGBT+ but gets offended on behalf of them and gets mad at them for not being offended too.

        Her heart is in the right place but she just usually isn’t going about things right.

  25. Leorale
    Leorale
    May 28, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Yessss
    Also, her angry whistling-face in the last panel, so delightful.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      May 28, 2016 at 1:54 am | #

      That’s the “Vengeance will be mine” face.

  26. Dean
    Dean
    May 28, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    I just want to know what the box is for.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 28, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

      98% chance it has a pie in it.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        May 28, 2016 at 1:57 am | #

        How big are the chances that after Mary gets a pie to the face Carla will double flip her and then a third arm comes out of her chest which will also gives Mary the bird?

        • Clif
          Clif
          May 28, 2016 at 7:25 pm | #

          In this universe, unfortunately slim.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          May 28, 2016 at 7:51 pm | #

          Only in our hearts.

  27. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    May 28, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Old Ruben would have been proud.

  28. Vabolo
    Vabolo
    May 28, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    I just hope that Mary doesn’t insta-close the door to ruin Carla’s vengeance before it could end proper.

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 28, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      Nah. The laws of comedy require her to stand there, watching each step of the machine’s operation, to its inevitable and humiliating conclusion.

      • modulusshift
        modulusshift
        May 28, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        Seriously, just try not to do that in real life.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2016 at 9:33 am | #

      Maybe the trap is ACTUALLY triggered by CLOSING the door… heheh…

  29. CriticalQuit
    CriticalQuit
    May 28, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Clean up in dorm 5!

  30. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    May 28, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Is this based on an actual machine that we could perhaps watch on Youtube? If not, could someone build such a machine so we could watch on Youtube?

  31. Some1
    Some1
    May 28, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Mary gets scissors, cuts string in half

    Carla: Shit!

    • EmilyK
      EmilyK
      May 28, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      Too late! It started! She pulled that piece of wood out from under the bowling ball.

  32. Shiro
    Shiro
    May 28, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I’m so happy. I’m guessing that does something incredibly innocuous, but it’s sure to freak Mary right the fuck out.

    • merbrat
      merbrat
      May 28, 2016 at 1:03 am | #

      I dunno…. bowling ball + trampoline… its a start of something wonderfun!

  33. AniDanny
    AniDanny
    May 28, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I’m excited for whatever the heck Carla’s doing. 😀

  34. Tacos
    Tacos
    May 28, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Ha! So her vengeance will indeed be swift and ridiculous. I love it.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2016 at 9:34 am | #

      And cold, don’t forget cold… I bet that pie has been well-refrigerated…

  35. lia47
    lia47
    May 28, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    carlas gonna fucking kill mary dude thats a death contraption if i ever saw one

  36. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    May 28, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    For more fun with Rube Goldberg, see The Three Stooges 1932 feature film “Soup To Nuts” (Rube wrote the script and some of his contraptions make an appearance). For you gamer-types, pick up a copy of the old 1960’s game “Mouse-Trap” (Rube designed it for Ideal Toys)…..or just find some of his old comics at http://www.rubegoldberg.com/gallery.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 28, 2016 at 6:15 am | #

      Or pick up Garry’s Mod on Steam. It gives you free reign with the Source engine’s physics system so you can build everything from Rube Goldberg machines to a bazooka that shoots toilets. (I wish this game had full VR headset support!)

    • DaveM
      DaveM
      May 28, 2016 at 6:26 am | #

      Or find a copy of the old DOS game “The incredible machine” (should run under DOSEMU if nothing else works) and make your own. Seriously that game (and it’s sequels) need a modern reboot NOW.

      • Achallenger
        Achallenger
        May 28, 2016 at 11:32 am | #

        great googly moogly i had forgotten about that game1 /me reverts 20 years and replays the shit out of it

      • skaryzgik
        skaryzgik
        June 2, 2016 at 6:24 pm | #

        There is! I think it’s called Contraption Maker or something like that! I even remember some of the puzzles being the same!

  37. M-M
    M-M
    May 28, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    I love that she’s carrying Billie’s box. Nice conspiracy!

  38. LograyX
    LograyX
    May 28, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    I’m willing to bet this thing does nothing, but Mary’s reaction to it will do all the damage.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      May 28, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

      [Same]

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      May 28, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      I’m half expecting for this thing to just be an elaborate distraction that does nothing and Carla to then just Pie Mary in the face with a pie that was in the box Carla is holding.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        That would be glorious!

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        May 28, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

        Okay…. BUT WHAT TYPE OF PIE?

        I mean, banana-cream or chocolate-cream is the standard, but I think minced meat would ruin her outfit better. Oooooh, or blueberry!

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          May 28, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

          Sweet pickle pie, of course! It is the yuckiest and most humorous of pies.

        • anonymsly
          anonymsly
          May 28, 2016 at 2:43 am | #

          Banana cream. Because bananas and you have to wonder what happened to the skins? They’re somewhere, the slippery jerks.

  39. DinaWho
    DinaWho
    May 28, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

    I’m wondering about the tops of those posts. They look like something could come out of them…

  40. Aislashu
    Aislashu
    May 28, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    This damn thing is gonna take four strips to play out ain’t it? lmao

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 28, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

      At least, and Willis is going to only show us about one panel a week while he cuts the storyline back and forth between “Becky MacIntyre and the Haunted House” and “Revenge of the Skater”.

  41. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    May 28, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

    Cue the cannons!

  42. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 28, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

    Comic Analysis?:

    That this is Carla’s revenge or at least the first part of it is clear. That this is Carla making her mark, nonviolently, but not as a pliant victim willing to accept whatever misery Mary deals out just because authority doesn’t really have her back. This is her handling the problem in her own way. This is her getting revenge for her skates which matter so much to her. This is her capitalizing on the exact way Mary interacts with the hall, peek out the door, head hanging out, knowing she’ll have no choice but to take in the elaborateness of what Carla has to offer. And will no doubt end in a glorious cannon-shot of pies.

    But more than that I love how the shifting context of these last few months has change the tenor of this conflict from when it was first written. Because of the shifting timeline of this comic and it being set in our universe, Mary’s awfulness now comes at a time of massive bigot escalation against trans rights.

    Where it is now publicly debated whether or not we have a right to shit. Where bigots are openly calling trans women child molesters and pretending that cis people have a reason to be “scared” of trans people in bathrooms or locker rooms despite most bathroom-based violence occurring against trans people. Where lawsuits have been filed claiming simply allowing a trans person access to bathrooms or locker rooms or gendered dorm areas constitutes an act of literal sexual harassment and where actual elected officials are now campaigning on a platform of nothing more than how much they hate trans people.

    Where bigots have been stomping around Targets around the country screaming intense transphobia to “protest”, but more specifically to harass and instill fear in trans people of ever going anywhere public. Where violence against trans folks and gender-non-conforming folks is increasing and more gross cis people feel it is their right to “police” gendered spaces for people like Carla.

    Mary’s outburst, in societal context, is not just gross, but part of a larger social battle of attacking people like Carla and trying to make them feel unsafe in public and in the privacy of her own dorm room. Of people feeling entitled to police where she can live and exist.

    And it makes this action braver. Mary escalates. It’s what she does and now she’s got options to make Carla’s existence in the halls some “political” issue that’s “controversial” and which the school needs to defend in light of the recent Title IX clarifications.

    But Carla is not afraid. She’s not just going to passively accept this intentional dehumanizing bigotry. She’s going to make the bigots afraid of her. She’s going to remind them. She’s going to remind Mary that she’s not some convenient pawn for political goals and she’s not going to simply accept her shit.

    Carla loathes Mary and getting the upper hand here matters more to her and her standing in the world far more than Willis even intended when he actually penned this strip.

    And that’s kind of cool to me.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      May 28, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

      Fantastic analysis, as usual.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 28, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

      On the one hand, I don’t see how this fixes anything. (Other than Carla asserting her own empowerment, which is valuable, but I meant more big-picture.) On the other hand… maybe fixing things is an unrealistic goal and it’s best to focus on more gratifying victories.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

        The empowerment is the thing.

        Like, because of the circles I run in, I see how all the anti-trans stuff is just devastating on a personal level. People feeling powerless and scared. Exasperation of anxiety and depression among a lot of trans folks and everyone just feeling kinda hunted.

        So for Carla to aggressively take her power back is a major thing and shows how she’s really got buckets of strength and fortitude. She’s not afraid of anything and she shows it so beautifully well.

        • Arian
          Arian
          May 28, 2016 at 8:47 am | #

          *Exacerbation? ‘Exasperation’ seems sort of understated. 🙂

          • a snow mous e
            a snow mous e
            May 28, 2016 at 11:22 am | #

            seems probable

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 28, 2016 at 11:33 am | #

            Ah, homonym dyslexia, my old foe. We meet again.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 28, 2016 at 1:24 am | #

        We occasionally need a laugh as a chaser for the feels that we get here. Who doesn’t love a good old Looney Tunes reference?

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        May 28, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

        One way it can help to fix things is by teaching Mary that there are consequences to her actions. That she doesn’t have free reign to be an asshole. And maybe this will make her think twice, because in the back of Mary’s mind there will always be this lingering thought, sometimes unconscious, “What if this person decides to fight back? And what if I can’t win?”

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

          This. The bigots feel empowered and untouchable. Having small things like the Obama Administration and the ACLU unequivocally have our back and major companies boycotting helps a lot in creating consequences for such cynical intentional bigotry for votes. But the only way to stop it once and for all is for bigots to feel as unsupported and alone as they do on gay marriage.

      • Fwip
        Fwip
        May 28, 2016 at 3:18 am | #

        I don’t think Carla’s intent is to fix anything.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          May 28, 2016 at 4:00 am | #

          Nor she should be expected to. Being Queer doesn’t mean you need to always take the high road.

          It’s something I appreciate about Carla as a character, that she has zero time for being a Magic Queer. Carla’s gonna be a little turd and laugh at you and flip double birds and steal your cookies, because she’s an individual and isn’t the sum total of all trans people ever.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 28, 2016 at 4:55 am | #

            Ditto.

            She’s the Laura Jane Grace type of trans girl, taking no shit, burning birth certificates on stage, doing what she does, cause fuck it, amirite? And sometimes she’ll be a selfish little turd or a petty jerkface or just try way too hide the fact that she’s a good person.

            But she’s not going to be the happy magic trans who sacrifices herself so all the cis characters can learn a valuable lesson about acceptance and tolerance and how much more important their lives are than any given trans person.

            She’s the anti-Rayon from Dallas Buyer’s Club and that’s fucking amazing to see in fiction!

          • Fwip
            Fwip
            May 28, 2016 at 11:28 am | #

            I think the expectations really depend on what standards you hold people to in general, dunnit?

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 28, 2016 at 11:42 am | #

              Not really, trans folk and other marginalized groups tend to be held to higher standards culturally than any other group. Like a white man can rant and rave and get super angry about stupid shit, but if a black man gets upset about something legitimately upsetting like the murder of his child, it gets read as “animalistic”, “dangerous”, “ferocious”.

              Similarly a cis person can be a little bit cheeky or snarky or even have a whole edgelord persona and most people will handwave that away, especially if they are a cis man, but a trans person being justifiably bitter about oppression and depressing facts tends to be viewed as beyond the pale, especially if they are rude or short with a cis person.

              One behavioral set of standards for one group, one for another.

              And it serves as an axis of oppression because that ends up becoming a barrier to humanity. Because people will tell you that if you slip up and reveal you’re human after all and prone to just the same human frustrations. And it does end up leading to bad things for the ones affected as they start to read those unfair social expectations as things that are just inherent and proof that they are less human or valuable than their peers.

              When a straight kid pummels a gay kid and its the gay kid who is suspended or punished for “starting fights” because they dared fight back. When we literally have trans women of color sitting in jail right now, because someone tried to murder them and they fought back against their murderer, the separation between the expected standards of behavior get really really sick and prompt a lot of suicide attempts just to think about.

              • Fwip
                Fwip
                May 28, 2016 at 12:22 pm | #

                Does the acknowledgement that we have a double-standard – or at least refuse to enforce those standards in a manner that is equitable – make those original standards innately undesirable or wrong?

                In other words, should we remove the standards we hold as desirable because we’re ineffectual at enforcing them, or should we work to enforce them more equally and equitably?

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  May 28, 2016 at 12:43 pm | #

                  I honestly don’t see how we fix the problem of unequal double-standards by enforcing them at the double-standard against the marginalized group member first.

                  It’s like, we don’t solve our country’s racist drug laws by continuing to enforce them at their ludicrous level against young black men and then muse about how someday, we should really start working on getting around to arresting white men at the same level.

                  That’s never going to happen.

                  And so “work to enforce them equally” never works as well as “work to eliminate the double-standard itself by not overly punishing marginalized group members for minor crimes while excusing dominant group members for major ones”. Cause that prompts change if we actually realize that a standard of behavior is a good thing against everyone.

                  But the existence of double-standards reveals that at least in America, we genuinely believe the set of laws for different groups of people should be completely different. And that certain groups should be able to get away with literal theft and murder simply because of their identity and the identity of their main targets. *cough cough Zimmerman, cough cough trans panic defenses, cough cough*

                • Nightsbridge
                  Nightsbridge
                  May 28, 2016 at 12:53 pm | #

                  …? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. Nobody ever said ‘let’s throw everything out, anarchy!’ They said, ‘it’s unfair that trans people are policed more than cisgender people and Carla’s refusal to play a rigged game is refreshing. No one is saying that nothing should apply, ever, though even if we did, most of what Carla has done has been either A: annoy people B: be rude. Hell, this is the FIRST prank we’ve actually seen her do.

                  You are allowed to be annoying, rude and abrasive, if you want. So why is Carla not? And why are you interpreting that as some kind of burn the system dismiss of all order and social structure?

              • PlainMarie
                PlainMarie
                May 28, 2016 at 5:27 pm | #

                This and also your other spot-on comments.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 28, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

      Added bonus: as time and society continue to shift, we’ll look back on this comic in a couple years, and Mary will be such a throwback. Like I’m sure haters aren’t going anywhere, but it’ll be more like looking at those bakers who won’t sell cakes for gay weddings nowadays. I look forward to when Mary isn’t a symbol of greater society, but weird, and publicly laughable. I wonder how long it’ll take.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        May 28, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

        That is way too optimistic for me.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

          Yeah, I can’t wait for that day, but I’m preparing for a long haul fight over the next decade or two cause the hate groups are just warming up right now and there are two many perfectly willing to fall for their frames and relegate trans lives to just one more thing that’s “political” and “controversial”.

          • Rukduk
            Rukduk
            May 28, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

            I just want to say, and I know this might not mean much coming from some guy over the Internet, you won’t be alone. There are plenty of people who won’t buy into the hate. And hopefully we can make that long haul shorter. Because no one deserves to live in fear because of someone else’s hate. It isn’t right and it’s disgusting when that happens.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 28, 2016 at 2:18 am | #

              Thanks.

          • Fwip
            Fwip
            May 28, 2016 at 2:27 am | #

            I don’t disagree that the take is overly optimistic, but I don’t think they’re warming up; they’re stumbling from a hard kick and flailing. The tide has turned against them when it comes to homosexuality and they need a new target. Not much consolation, I imagine, but… At least it shows the fight can be won.

            In the words of a bio-circuit diagram, vive la resistance!

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              May 28, 2016 at 9:40 am | #

              That’s my take as well. In a lot of ways I’m reminded of 10 years or so ago when anti-same-sex marriage amendments were passing in so many states. When that was the big issue driving Republican voters to the polls. They’re trying to gin that kind of enthusiasm up again and it’s not working. Sure, there’s a core that’s up in arms but a lot of states have backed off from legislation after seeing the reaction. Even where it’s been passed, the political fallout has been against them. McCrory in NC has taken a serious popularity hit. This isn’t a winning issue for them. Already. And I don’t see it getting better.
              I could be over optimistic. Public opinion can always swing. But I don’t see this lasting decades, unless there’s a serious reversal.

              As for the legal side of it all – one more even moderately liberal Supreme Court Justice changes everything.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                May 28, 2016 at 12:06 pm | #

                Exactly. That’s why I’m estimating a few years instead of a few decades. Like, let’s look at how long marriage equality took in the US:

                1988: Darkest days, families screaming that AIDS sufferers deserved it. Legal gay marriage certainly considered impossible.

                1998: States passing specific laws against same-sex-marriage.

                2008: Other states specifically legalizing same-sex marriage.

                2015: White House lit up like a rainbow when they passed same-sex marriage nationally. Woo! People still denying it individually, but now they’re absurd.

                So, from complete denial of existence to the most important legal rights, it took 27ish years.

                In trans rights, we’re at 1998, right? The Average Joe knows that transpeople exist, but has serious misconceptions about what that means. Laws are sprouting up against transpeople, but it’s also a public fact that people are working to change those laws.

                That would give us ~17yrs, except, for this battle, the ground is much more fertile for change. We have the internet, we have the (overwhelmingly pro-LGBTQ+) Millennials coming of age, and we’ve had a national practice run at learning not to be dicks to people. I really think we can do this in under ten. Time will tell!

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  May 28, 2016 at 12:15 pm | #

                  tl;dr: Yep, under a decade is pretty dang optimistic, but it’s possible. Behold, my Gay Agenda.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  May 28, 2016 at 12:47 pm | #

                  I hope you’re right. I’m just worried we’re at the Briggs Initative step what with so many trying to argue we’re an inherent threat to kids. That got slapped down too, but it was a long ride from there to any form of public positive treatment.

  43. Huh
    Huh
    May 28, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    Is she whistling Powerhouse?

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      May 28, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

      {alt text}

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      May 28, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

      1812 Overture.

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      May 28, 2016 at 10:57 am | #

      If you donate through Patreon, tomorrow’s comic comes with a link to Powerhouse as the machine does its work.

  44. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    May 28, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    lmao I love Carla so much. I love a good Rube Goldberg machine.

  45. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    May 28, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    theme music for the animation

  46. Lordmazapan
    Lordmazapan
    May 28, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

    ta ra ta ta ra ra ra ta, ta ra ta ra ra ta, ta ra ta ta ra ra ta, ta ra ra ta ta ra.
    Warner bros cartoons song when a trap is in progress.

    • merbrat
      merbrat
      May 28, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

      “Where’s the ka-boom? There’s supposed to be an earth shattering ka-boom at the end? Hmmm?” -Marvin the Martian

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2016 at 10:13 am | #

      It’s called “Powerhouse”, and it’s been mentioned previously.

  47. kkiten
    kkiten
    May 28, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

    Does she only whistle the overture when plotting revenge, or is that her favorite song?

    • Dean
      Dean
      May 28, 2016 at 2:36 am | #

      It’s her favourite song BECAUSE she whistles it when she’s plotting revenge.

  48. Some1
    Some1
    May 28, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

    Is it bad that I would be slightly tempted to fuck over this plan if I was there, with the small part of me that is Mike. Believe me I’m not homo/transphobic at all. I’m just an asshole, and the more complex a plan is the more I want to exploit that one flaw. It works best when the person deserves it, but I can make an exception here.

    • Anonymouse
      Anonymouse
      May 28, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

      If I were Mike, and I saw this, I think I’d realize that this is exactly the kind of thing that would amuse me too, and immediately drop what I’m doing, help make this happen, offer no explanation. and leave without a word.

      Either that, or fall in love. Without so much as breaking a smile outwardly, but inwardly…

      • Clodia
        Clodia
        May 28, 2016 at 5:58 am | #

        I’d ship that.

        • bhtooefr
          bhtooefr
          May 28, 2016 at 8:16 am | #

          Doesn’t it go against her orientation?

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            May 28, 2016 at 9:46 am | #

            It goes against Carla’s orientation.

            It doesn’t go against Mike’s.

            Yeah, it’s a one-sided ship – but he can’t help how he feels…

            • Willoughby Chase
              Willoughby Chase
              May 28, 2016 at 5:48 pm | #

              Shipping solo, just not Han Solo.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      May 28, 2016 at 1:16 am | #

      So, you’re the guy who would have blown up the Death Star from his TIE-fighter if the rebel alliance hadn’t, just because that exhaust vent was so very tempting, aren’t you?

      • Some1
        Some1
        May 28, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

        Hmmm on one hand they do blow up planets, and have killed billions, on other hand they do pay my salary. Wait a second that Tarkin asshole forgot my coffee creamer yesterday! FUCK YOOOOOUUUU! “blows up Death Star”

    • Fwip
      Fwip
      May 28, 2016 at 2:37 am | #

      You could always take a picture and post it online. That’d basically make everything worse for everyone.

  49. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    May 28, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

    Also Tchaikovsky holds up pretty well. Still really good.

  50. ladychalk
    ladychalk
    May 28, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

    …are those mustard bottles?

  51. detective boomwolf
    detective boomwolf
    May 28, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

    … Someone watched a lot of Tom and Jerry as a kid…

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      May 28, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      of course, the T&J designs usually culminated with a bowling ball, so this is a delightful variation on the theme

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 28, 2016 at 4:22 am | #

      +1

  52. Hyzenthleia
    Hyzenthleia
    May 28, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    This contraption is either going to pie Mary in the face or instantaneously transport her to the Amazon. Calling it now. I’ll take either one, honestly. Don’t even need a good explanation on how it’d work.

  53. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 28, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

    link for you: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/needs/

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      May 28, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

      dangit this thing chugs so much after there are more than two comments and dropped the thread

  54. The Phantom's Belch
    The Phantom's Belch
    May 28, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

    The look of sheer terror in Mary’s face is so worth this. There is no way this is anything more than a really loud Rube Goldberg noisemaker … possibly with confetti in the balloon … but that’s okay! That it ultimately does nothing will make Mary ponder just what would happen if Carla was truly evil and not just deviously mischievous.

    Never mess with the engineering students! (If Carla is not an Engineering major, she needs to switch!)

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 28, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

      Glitter.  If there’s anything at all in the balloon it will be glitter.  Have you ever tried to get every last piece of that shit out of a carpet?

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 28, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

        It’s the herpes of art projects.

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          May 28, 2016 at 1:40 am | #

          Hrm, I don’t think I’ve ever heard glitter described that way.

          • AutobotDen
            AutobotDen
            May 28, 2016 at 2:24 pm | #

            Microglitter is even worse. I have a small vial of it I keep on hand as a safety precaution. Anyone that tries to mess with me will get a baptism of sparkles and the police will be able to tell who did it.

      • Kickback
        Kickback
        May 28, 2016 at 2:14 am | #

        Yes! This was a prank pulled on me in university haha, glitter filled balloons in my rooms. Popped them without thinking and it went everywhere. I was honestly finding the odd bit of glitter two years later.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      May 28, 2016 at 6:07 pm | #

      If Carla is not an Engineering major, she needs to switch
      Problem is: The only “Engineering major” that IU has to offer is “Intelligent Systems Engineering”.

      Yeah, i really like it! Willis captured in his self-chosen limits of the boundaries of his story-telling! And the obvious solution would be Purdue, but that bites with the idea that Carla lives on campus of IU.

      Maybe next time don’t hate on the engineering students so much (we remember the traffic sign that was allegedly vandalised by Purdue students)!

  55. Some1
    Some1
    May 28, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

    At the end of the comic, they’re going to be trying to figure out who the mastermind behind everything is. Dorothy will have a realization and will drop her coffee cup, quickly running outside just before Howard lights a cigaret and speeds away in a car.

    “We got the nerd from Canadia, He mentioned Mary Bradford, my guess is after that, you’ll never hear from him again.”

  56. Goliath
    Goliath
    May 28, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

    I’m probably going to be called an asshole for this, but I REALLY hope Carla gets in trouble by the end of this. Don’t get me wrong, Mary went WAAAAAY too far with her transphobic bigotry, but let’s not pretend that Carla is blameless in all of this. All of this started because she was being super inconsiderate to her dormmates by skating around the halls and making a bunch of noise. Mary asked her to stop, and Carla basically went “Nah.”

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 28, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

      Being an annoying jerk never means you deserve hate speech. Nobody deserves hate speech.
      Also, we’ve discussed this to death.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:26 am | #

      Mm, so because Carla… in the middle of the day… during non-quiet hours… on carpet that muted the sound of her skates and made them a dull shuffling… and where we’ve established that Mary does her little door freakout about the slightest of sounds and angrily demands things of people as her default greeting… where Mary could have studied in the quiet room DOWN THE HALL if she actually cared about noise and not about enforcing arbitrary Mary rules…

      DARED to skate, like a teenager, thus somehow embodying the soul of a thousand loud neighbors to a bunch of whiny ass pissbaby commenters. Because of all that. And because Carla didn’t automatically respond with deference and respect to an infamous bigot who famously hates everyone like her and who has spent the last X comics revealing that to the fullest extent possible. And nonetheless did not turn violent as Mary escalated and escalated, to the point where she destroyed her skates and then try and lead her to the boy’s dorm all for a transphobic “joke” and a setup for blackmailing her RA over “all the gay shit” and while calling Carla a literal, and I quote, “misplaced freak”.

      She is somehow equally to blame, to the extent that you expect and, I quote, “REALLY hope” she gets in trouble for “this” as to the aforementioned blackmailing, bigoted, deliberately dehumanizing walking trash can that is Mary, a Mary who has escalated to violence and property destruction and blackmailing and trying to utterly destroy and eliminate of her floor or otherwise drive to suicide multiple queer individuals and rob them of any form of safety or refuge in their own homes.

      You “suppose” you’ll be called an asshole for that.

      Well, sorry to disappoint you, but you’re not an asshole. You’re just a tired, standard issue reactionary bigot, perfectly at home with transphobia so long as you can do the bare minimum and think of yourself as not prejudiced.

      But hey, good job on your super “edgy” opinion, bro! We trans folk super appreciate it and don’t at all perceive it as the insultingly dehumanizing claptrap it is nor as a sign of the stacked decks that get thrust in front of us where we’re expected to play nice and hyper respectful with enemies that literally want us dead lest it be “our fault too, in a way”.

      K, thanks, bye.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 28, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

        Screw the comics, some comments need trigger warnings. Granted, it’d mainly consist of “Ignorant Comment Inbound”, but still.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 1:41 am | #

          Yeah, I’m a wee bit out of patience for that “blame Carla” claptrap, because just like the $20 haircut Becky folks, it’s such a thin justification for just hating on a queer person who has been victimized, because otherwise the commenter might have to empathize and recognize a system of oppression for what it is.

          And at this point, there is literally noooo justification for excusing all the shit Mary has pulled in order to pretend quietly skating and not being polite is somehow the worse offense.

          • Charles Phipps
            Charles Phipps
            May 28, 2016 at 3:57 am | #

            I can hate skating to annoy someone while also thinking bigots deserve no sympathy, pure contempt, and a zero-tolerance policy for hate speech.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 28, 2016 at 4:31 am | #

              She wasn’t skating “to annoy someone”. She was skating to skate, because she’s a punk-ass skater chick who doesn’t give a fuck about rules and saw a quiet empty hallway and decided to have some silly stupid fun like a billion other college girls before her.

              She was a jerk to Mary to annoy her, but that was already after Mary did her trademark curtain-twitcher routine, which we’ve now demonstrated that she reliably does every time anyone so much as walks past her door (hence why she has blackmail material on Ruth to start with) and was being that old lovable Mary that makes he so lovely to deal with.

              I mean, sure, you can hate Carla. You can even hate Carla for truly stupid reasons, like flame-red hair on skates remind you too much of Ghost Rider.

              But just like Becky, Carla is given a harder time and is expected to be the bigger person far and above what is reasonable entirely because she ran afoul of this awful person and because we expect trans folks to be penitent and contrite and never ever brash or abrasive or refusing to back down from a fight.

              And frankly, I’m much more likely to be helpful explainy trans voice, but I got mad respect for the Carlas who get shit on and refuse to just take it.

              • Charles Phipps
                Charles Phipps
                May 28, 2016 at 4:52 am | #

                I see no reason to expect Carla to be less of a jerk than any of the other cast, straight or otherwise. I’m just saying that I can and do think respect for your fellow dorm mates is an important thing I wish in any situation. The fact Carla doesn’t have any doesn’t make her any worse than any of the cast who are all flawed to a certain degree. I’m just saying it’s still jerkish.

                But it’s a minor matter compared to all the crap she’s dealt with and got dumped into. Poor Carla got her skates ruined but also dumped into Ruth’s personal drama as well as the bigot’s blackmail scheme.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  May 28, 2016 at 5:02 am | #

                  Totes, she’s a jerk. But she’s also not that level of jerk to the other outsider characters and queer folk. She’ll even soften her tough outer shell for girls she’s got a romantic crush on (Sal) or those who are out and queer (Billie and Ruth).

                  Mary is infamous on that floor, because queer folk learn really quickly who in their living environment is actively unsafe to be around and they share that info with each other. And Mary’s awful is a step above and is actively dehumanizing to Carla on multiple identity angles.

                  To “respect” her, Carla would have to actively disrespect herself and the other queer women on the floor by side-stepping the reality of Mary’s active bigotry and active efforts to shame, abuse, harm, and literally blackmail the other queer women who share her hall.

                  Like Carla didn’t pick that fight, but Bob damn was she not going to bother to turn down her jerk exterior for that uptight priss.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  May 28, 2016 at 10:00 am | #

                  Or soften it for anyone in trouble, like when Amber was hurt.

                  But more generally and beyond all that, “respect for your fellow dorm mates”?
                  I think someone’s got a distorted idea of what college is like.
                  Carla skating in the halls is so far below the threshold of things people did in college that pissed me off that it doesn’t even register. In the middle of the day. Without even screaming and banging on doors.
                  We’d play with frisbees and soccer balls in the hallways.

                  It’s also been established that Carla’s always on skates and nobody else seems to care in the slightest.
                  The “Parkour!” bit later might have been a bit much.

              • Orion Fury
                Orion Fury
                May 28, 2016 at 12:47 pm | #

                To wit I’m thankful for. The voice part, that is.

      • AUnicornNoOneAskedFor
        AUnicornNoOneAskedFor
        May 28, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

        *picks the mic up from where Cerberus dropped it and carefully replaces it on the stand*

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          May 28, 2016 at 1:56 am | #

          “Those things cost money, you know!”

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        May 28, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

        Ok, Internet high five. This arguement rocks.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          May 28, 2016 at 1:50 am | #

          As in, Cereberus’s arguement rocks, not the actual comment thread.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 2:11 am | #

          Thanks.

          I get exceptionally frosty at this kind of crap, because I take a lot of shit on the chin without much complaint, but bob damn am I going to take a third party saying I or others like me should take it on the chin otherwise we’re “equally responsible” or “the real instigators”. Like, I shouldn’t have to take shit on the chin and neither should any other trans person. So fuck that noise.

          Also, high five right back atcha!

      • Gecko
        Gecko
        May 28, 2016 at 8:36 am | #

        Thank you for somehow finding the energy to keep iterating this. I don’t have it, and it’s frustrating to see people leave skewed opinions without being able to collect my thoughts enough to point out how they are skewed.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      May 28, 2016 at 1:46 am | #

      Yeshua ben Yoseph Nazarene but I thought this had been settled a long time ago.
      It is a college dorm. It was the middle of the day a.k.a. not quiet hours. These facts mean that it was not a conducive learning environment. What Carla did, roller skating on a carpeted floor, is probably one of the least disruptive things to have ever happened in a dorm during the day. Carla was not at fault. Any further argumentation has been covered by Cerberus.

    • EvolutionistX
      EvolutionistX
      May 28, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

      I have studied through people blowing things up and slept through power saws. Roller skates are nothing. If she can’t study through that, she’ll never survive an office job in a building full of hundreds of other people coughing, talking, walking, moving their chairs, typing, using the phone, farting, etc.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 2:08 am | #

        Well if any of those office workers are trans, clearly they’ll deserve her retribution.

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 28, 2016 at 2:59 am | #

        Some people have suggested, in previous threads, that teaching students to put up with such things (and study anyway) is, in fact, [i]one of the aims[/i] (even if not explicitly stated to them) of dorm housing. Learning to live with people not related to you, people who may be very different from you, is in fact an important life skill.

        Some people outright refuse to learn this.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 4:34 am | #

          And that’s part of Mary’s battle. She’s encountering a mode of living where she has to learn how to accept and cohabitate with people who are not exactly like her. And her response to that is to try and enforce through a terror campaign the type of home environment she is used to instead.

          Drive out the queers, yell and scream at anyone who makes the slightest of noises, build an air of paranoia where people just don’t bother with you and make excuses to be off the floor, and blackmail the RA to get fundie prayer circles and forced conversions.

          Recreate suburban hell on the floor by any means necessary by making life as miserable for everyone else rather than just accept that she’s 18 years old now and it’s time to fucking grow up and learn to deal with the real world.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      May 28, 2016 at 3:02 am | #

      All of this started because she was being super inconsiderate to her dormmates by skating around the halls and making a bunch of noise.

      No.

      It.

      Fucking.

      Didn’t.

      She was not making anything resembling ‘a bunch of noise’. She was, in fact, until Mary escalated to attempts to injure her and vandalizing the hall and Carla’s property, making less noise than Mary.

      It started because Mary’s a complete goddamn asshole.

      Full. Goddamn. Stop.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 4:39 am | #

        Seriously. All of this.

        Was Carla technically breaking rules? Sure. Did Carla not even try to deescalate a tense interaction with a known bigot? Yeppers.

        But she didn’t start shit and actively tried to ignore her way out of a confrontation by just countering and doin’ her thing (hell, she even told Mary to go tell on her, which would have been the “proper” way to handle it if she cared more about the rule-breaking rather than instilling fear and pain on the (slur for trans woman)). Mary instigated. Mary decided to treat some light shuffling like a crime against her senses. Mary decided to pull her whole curtain-twitching routine that has finally gotten her into this jam.

        And Mary has continually demonstrated why someone like Carla would not really be feeling like giving her the time of day or backing down to her given all the shit she has been spewing about queer folks.

    • Fwip
      Fwip
      May 28, 2016 at 3:16 am | #

      Gonna raise my hand and say I’d agree with you, like, a few months back (and said the same thing when this all started), but there comes a point where one party’s actions outweigh another’s, y’know?

      Carla deserves to be called a jerk – because she totally is – but actual punitive action at this point really belongs on the shoulders of Mary and Ruth (the former of whom used hateful slurs to demean another student and has been blackmailing an RA, and the latter of whom physically assaulted Mary way back when, slept with a student under her auspices, and submitted to the aforementioned blackmail).

      Ideally, the maturity fairy would fly around and give everyone a big ol’ zap, see some apologies handed out, and everyone could get the hell on with their lives through showing a basic modicum of respect, whether they like or agree with each other or not.

      … Also, I don’t get where people are saying Carla didn’t instigate this whole chain of events? Being a jerk and an instigator and initially in the wrong doesn’t mean she is not the substantially more aggrieved party, or that nothing she did makes it okay for Mary to slur her.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 4:48 am | #

        But she didn’t instigate.

        She was a jerk, yes, totally. Justifiably so in my opinion, but definitely a total jerkwad with literally zero respect for Mary or putting up with her games or de-escalating the situation by “being the bigger person” and taking it on the chin like most trans folks are expected to do.

        And she’s an asshole with a petty streak a mile wide, no arguments there.

        But this chain of events? This conflict? Began with Mary doing her curtain-twitching routine that we see above, door half-cocked, eyeing with contempt, demanding to know what’s going on and demanding it stop no matter what it is. The nosey assholery that has led her to this situation and which also gave her all the information to blackmail her floormates. It’s the reason her nose is in everyone’s business and why Roz has hit an absolute floor with regards to how done she is with Mary’s shit.

        Mary instigated, Carla returned tit for tat and played around with her, made her look like a fool, got her pissed off, and showed absolutely no respect for her petty rule-mongering.

        So Mary went way far and above as you note.

        Oh, one point on the maturity fairy bit. That presumes a false equivalence. Carla shouldn’t have to suck up intentional dehumanization and abuse in order to be “mature” to someone who fundamentally doesn’t respect her right to live. And from personal experience, I can assure you that the weight of being the better person is swallowing a lot of bullshit on a daily basis and enjoying the fine PTSD aftermath where you start to genuinely believe you deserve all the abuse and you are worth less than cis folk.

        Carla is doing what she needs to do to regain her sense of agency and self and her standing up against a bigot who has more than shown her hand at this point is not a sign of her lack of maturity.

        The fact that she has not punched her repeatedly in the face is a sign of her infinite restraint and better nature. But it is fully on Mary to grow the fuck up and accept that trans and GLB folk exist and stop trying to bully and harass them into playing by her Calvinball rules.

        • Fwip
          Fwip
          May 28, 2016 at 12:13 pm | #

          I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree, Cerb. Mary had every right to be annoyed with Carla skating in the hall; it was interrupting her studying and was against the rules. Regardless of whether you feel that Mary is being overly persnickety or a busybody, the fact is that she was in the right there. She asked Carla not to, Carla was flippant about showing even a minor degree of respect to someone.

          You poke someone until they swing, they’re still in the wrong for swinging, but you’re still the instigator.

          Also, I don’t see any presumption of equivalence in what I said. Nowhere did I assume that Carla wasn’t the more aggrieved party. That’s not the point. Any psychologist can tell you that a revenge focus is unhealthy and ultimately just leaves you as defined by the person you loathe as complete submission to them does; you let them dominate your life. Actually taking revenge just perpetuates a vicious cycle that could lead to someone actually getting hurt. I’ve got chipped bones and deformed ribs that can attest to that.

          This isn’t about shrugging and saying everyone’s equally to blame because they aren’t. It’s about not letting that person control your life. That, in my eyes, is agency.

          Something tells me, though, that this isn’t a point we agree on either.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 28, 2016 at 12:36 pm | #

            Are we still bothering to pretend that Mary pokes her head out of her room because “her studies have been interrupted by noise”? For fuck’s sake, she did this same door peek shit for soft whistling. For Dorothy mumbling to herself at the foot of the door. People simply walking past carrying garbage. And Carla softly whistling.

            Mary was “disturbed out of her studies” for shit. She was hearing evidence that a person was doing something odd outside a door. And that it was the sound of skates, so that meant that that (slur for trans woman) was daring to be outside her room instead of in her “place”. And so she Mary’d.

            Because to Mary the existence of other people in common spaces is an affront to her and God and needs the moralizing hand of a complete busybody with nothing better to do. If she genuinely cared about studies and was somehow genuinely so incapable of studying without distraction that even the slightest mouse cough will set her off, she needed to have gotten her ass to the silent room on the floor weeks ago, because it is unreasonable to expect people to not even open and shut their doors down the hall or talk to each other in the hall without Mary sneaking out and shaming them for it or using it as blackmail fuel.

            Yeah, Mary told her to stop, Carla told her nope, tell on me if it’s that important to you. And then Mary didn’t go do that, revealing that to her it was about showing that uppity (slur for trans woman) what what and not actually about her skating. This then got extra proved when she destroyed her skates, called her a boy, and now is continuing to try and get her removed as a “misplaced freak”.

            That’s not Carla being flippant about showing respect to “anyone”. It’s Carla having no respect for an infamous bigot who has been screaming bloody murder at every queer coupling on the floor and just being a general bigoted asshole to everyone.

            It’s like a trans person not showing “respect” to some asshole Target protester screaming about how trans people are child molesters.

            And it’s why the roles are reversed. Mary wanted a confrontation, Mary wanted an excuse and needled and Carla just ignored and deflected up until the point that her skates were destroyed and shit got real for her.

            If anyone has been poked until they swung, it’s fucking Carla and there’s no real way to spin things as anything but seeing as how even if you buy the bullshit that is “Mary was interrupted when studying”, Mary was still the one instigating and escalating at every turn, Carla was simply not bothering to back down like most trans folks do.

            As for your second half, bullies are tricky. I did the “better man” route a whole fuck of a lot. It didn’t actually get them to back down and in fact they escalated because what they wanted (me dead) didn’t really matter if I struck back or not.

            But those that swung tended to get the bullies to back off. But they also tended to get the book thrown at them by an authority that was fully on the bigots side.

            Mary is now engaging in a blackmail campaign that has the removal of Carla from the floor one way or another as a central part of it and thinks she now has carte blanche to openly hurl abuse at and harass Carla and have the nearest person of authority back her up.

            Carla ignoring it now would not change that any more than people targeted by hate groups trying to ignore it causes the hate groups to stop harassing them.

            So, where she’s at now, there’s no real good options. And that’s not her fault for getting sucked into it at first. Mary is a master at sucking people she hates into her little games. But maybe, just maybe, this method will get Mary to back off and go after targets with less bite.

            Also, final point? I’ve done the “taking it on the chin” thing a lot in my life. It has deep costs for one’s mental health and ends up convincing you that you deserve all the awful that flows your way. Carla accepting Mary’s open transphobic abuse and being the better person would have very real consequences for her mental health and her feelings of safety in her own goddamn home.

            • Fwip
              Fwip
              May 28, 2016 at 4:13 pm | #

              Given that the comic shows Mary studying, displays Carla’s skate noises in bold, red, text, and shows a look of exasperation on Mary’s face… Yeah, I’d say the story is telling us she feels intruded upon. Just like she did when Dorothy was standing outside her door, talking to herself, and Mary appeared and demanded not to know what was going on but to be left the hell alone.

              Even if Mary’s a busybody, though, who feels her nose has to be in everything, she still had every right to tell Carla to go take her skating outside. It is against the rules to skate in the dorms; rules Carla agreed to obey when signing the documents necessary to get the room. Even if Mary wasn’t feeling the slightest bit bothered (which I disagree with, but whatever), she was still completely within her right to do it.

              It doesn’t really matter what Mary’s motive for saying it was. We can disagree about internal motives or why she did it, but up until the point where she started trying to take this matter into her own hands, she didn’t make any unreasonable demands.

              There’s no getting around that. The instigator of this conflict was Carla; she broke the rules, she knew she did, and she flipped the bird at someone asking (not telling, asking, however crudely) her to skate elsewhere.

              Everything else… I think is a difference of opinion and path in life. Learning to just let stuff go saved my life, or at least ensured I’ll only die at fifty instead of in my teens.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                May 28, 2016 at 5:11 pm | #

                I think we’re just going to fundamentally disagree if someone doing something relatively unobtrusive outside (even if it is technically against rules) constitutes “instigation”.

                And Mary isn’t just “if she’s a busybody”, she’s well established to be a busybody who is a curtain-twitcher just looking for an angle on everyone around. And it doesn’t actually take a noise disturbance to get her peeking out her doors and glaring at folk:
                http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/clear/

                Billie walking past all quiet like is enough. What Mary sees as an intrusion is the existence of other people. And she likes to try and destroy said other people, especially if they are queer (she stored that moment to not only blackmail Ruth about it, but do a nasty bit of “hey Joyce you agree all queer people are evil” in front of Becky, and to get away with the bullying and harassment of a trans student.

                Her internal motives are the point. They are critical to why that encounter even happened and why Mary harped on a technical rule-breaking and why technical rule-breakings are frequently used to justify disproportionate violence against marginalized group members. Hell, that’s point one of all this bathroom shit right now, to make it so trans people have “trespassed” in some way in order to justify violence and discrimination against them. And that’s resulted in a shit ton of trans and gender non-conforming people getting angrily confronted in bathrooms or literally dragged out of them.

                Taking a minor “fault” to justify disproportionate violence. After all, Carla “instigated” by doing something with no victim that was technically against the rules and because she was rude to a person who has been nothing but awful towards ever queer and non-normative person on the floor.

                And that’s what makes the “letting it go” equation different. When marginalized group members “let” injustice go, it tends to hang around and get comfy and just become the “normal” of “how things go” and how we expect marginalized group members to act to earn rights. And that’s not okay.

                Carla instigated jack shit. Escalated? Yes. Showed no damn respect? Hell yes. But if Mary had wandered off, Carla would have just done her thing. If Carla did, Mary would have taken it as a sign of power and would have continued to go after her.

                Hell, we see that in the moment where Carla calls out the bluff and says report me. What does Mary do? Ruin her stuff and try to physically injure her. Because that’s who she is and she didn’t actually give a single fuck about the skating so why should we all pretend she did on her behalf.

                Also, I’m pretty sure this is unintentional on your part but those last two paragraphs basically read that Carla broke some rules and that was wrong and really everything else is just whatever, she should let it go. Which I don’t think is your meaning, cause otherwise that is some gross intentional erasure of transphobia and how toxic and damaging that really is and how dangerous that is to leave unchecked.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  May 28, 2016 at 5:17 pm | #

                  Like to clarify. Are the road construction crews outside my apartment “instigating” things by loudly tearing up the sidewalk outside? Would I be justified in harassing them about it and if one told me to fuck off, injuring them?

                  What about if some kids were pounding around the hall? Or some idiots doing some wheelies in a parking lot?

                  I can report them (and be an asshole and a narc). But confronting them? Escalating to violence when they are rude to me?

                  No, no jury in the world would read that as “they instigated me”… unless I was a rich asshole with a Judge dad stalking a black teenager multiple blocks on his way home from the convenience store.

                • Fwip
                  Fwip
                  May 28, 2016 at 7:31 pm | #

                  Cerb, if that’s what you got from my last two paragraphs, you’re reading a lot into it that isn’t there. I’ve never said this is just “whatever”; I’ve said several times now that Carla is the badly aggrieved party in this. She’s got every right to be upset and angry. Walking away isn’t advisable because she doesn’t have a reason to be upset but because letting someone like Mary get to her is just giving Mary what she wants: Power and control over Carla’s life.

                  Instigating conflict doesn’t mean that the other person is somehow okay in all this, or that whatever followed was in any way justified.

                  As for your examples, road crews have a legitimate and legal purpose to be there. However, kids playing in the hall of an apartment building is usually a violation of lease agreements and safety guidelines. If it causes aggravation for their neighbours, conflict was instigated technically by the parents (since minors aren’t really totally accountable for their actions) for letting them play there.

                  If, however, one of their neighbours bursts into the hall and proceeds to cuss the kids out and break their toys? Hoo boy. You better believe that person is in the wrong, and all legal ramifications would for the act would hang on their head.

                  Instigation of conflict doesn’t make you somehow responsible for the other person’s actions; it doesn’t make their actions in any way automatically reasonable or understandable. Provoking a response doesn’t make the response proportionate.

                  I think, though, that I am seeing the point of contention between us. You see Mary as being a busybody who reacted to the sound of skating and then tried to impose her will because she hates Carla. I see her as having been trying to study and been distracted by the noise; asking Carla to stop for the same reason she asked Dorothy to go away; because she has a low threshold for distraction. I’ve stated my reasons for this already.

                  If we follow your perspective (assuming I’m correct), it’s reasonable to say Mary instigated it. I don’t think that’s what happened, but everyone has a right to their own interpretation. Maybe Willis will clarify if we ask?

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  May 28, 2016 at 7:50 pm | #

                  I think our points of disagreement are twofold:

                  1) We have differing defintions for “instigation”. You seem to be favoring a definition that is more the “inciting incident” which may be neutral or merely an excuse for an encounter, whereas I’m going with one that has more of a cultural connotation of fault. Which I think might be why we’re talking past each other on that point.

                  2) I think we have very different life experiences and attitudes towards rules. I’m much more sympathetic to anti-authoritarian perspectives and feel that many rules and laws are actually overly enforced and selectively enforced as a means of justifying state violence against marginalized group members. I also grew up in a neighborhood ruled over by curtain-twitchers and so have a particular hatred for the technical rule lawyer types using the excuse of “disturbances” and what’s in the charter to selectively bully and harass kids and neighbors perceived as too liberal.

                  Whereas you seem to be coming from a perspective where you’re much more concerned about anarchy and feel like laws should be enforced across the board, though some weight must be given to the level and measure of crime or rule break that has been committed. And life experiences where letting go of disagreements avoided potentially deadly encounters.

                  And I suspect we may have very different amounts of life experience with Mary types and the shit that gets played with “rules” surrounding trans folks.

                  I also think you’re right on how we view the Carla and Mary confrontation. And yeah, I don’t think that’s going to get resolved seeing as how I think it’s been rather starkly outlined in the last few comics how Mary being a busybody who’ll flip out over the slightest bit of anything anywhere near her room is the only reason this revenge plan has been working.

                  Agree to disagree for now?

    • fogel
      fogel
      May 28, 2016 at 5:11 am | #

      EVEN IF Carla had been loud enough to wake the proverbial dead that wouldn’t justify Mary because what Mary did is unjustifiable. There’s no need to mitigate Carla’s skating in relation to Mary playing the Bigot Card, because it does not matter how loud Carla was or how much of a jerk she is, she did not “deserve” being Maryd, for which there is no justification.

    • Kindra
      Kindra
      May 28, 2016 at 6:04 am | #

      That argument held more weight before Mary maliciously destroyed Carla’s property instead of, say, registering a complaint with the RA about the noise.

    • Goliath
      Goliath
      May 28, 2016 at 7:04 am | #

      Just read through all of this. Looking back, I probably could have worded my comment better, but honestly, I feel like no matter how I worded it, the responses would have been the same. That said, I would like to take a moment to clarify some points.

      I do not believe that Carla is equally culpable as Mary. As I said, Mary took it too far when she made this an issue of Carla being transgendered. Mary is a despicable human being. No one is denying that. In addition to her constant open bigotry against not only Carla but other LGBT students and people of different faiths, she also blackmailing her RA and committed vandalism and destruction of property. At the very least she needs to be kicked out of the dorm, though preferably she should be flat out expelled.

      Some people have claimed that Carla wasn’t doing anything wrong, she was just skating in an empty hallway during the day, and that Mary was just doing her typical Mary bullshit. Even ignoring the fact that skating in the hallways is almost definitely against dorm rules and extremely dangerous, once Mary came out and asked her to stop, Carla chose to antagonize her. It didn’t occur to her that hey, if one person is studying in their dorm, maybe other people are too, and she should stop being a jerk and go outside. She saw a chance to annoy Mary, and she took it. Yes, Mary could have just gone to Ruth or called campus security or gone to the library or something. Instead she chose to escalate the situation and ruin Carla’s skates with glue, and that was not okay.

      But then Carla had the same option as Mary did: She could have reported Mary for vandalism and destruction of property and let Ruth handle it. Instead, she chose to escalate the situation again and continue to antagonize Mary by hopping up and down outside her door. At this point in the conflict, they’ve both handled the situation terribly, and have both done things worthy of punitive action. That Mary’s next step went undeniably, indefensibly, and down-right unconscionably too far does not negate Carla’s own behavior.

      The reason I want Carla to be punished has nothing to do with her transgender status. I don’t hold her to any higher standard than any other character like some people claim. To be frank, I think Carla should be punished because she’s, by her own admittance, an asshole. The fact that Mary is a MUCH bigger asshole than her doesn’t make her being an asshole ok. If any part of this elaborate Ruth Goldberg machine causes bodily harm to Mary, she needs to be punished. Even if it’s all a bluff and the worst that happens to Mary is she gets a pie to the face, that’s still assault. She needs to learn that her behavior isn’t okay either. Her being punished for her own misbehavior does not justify Mary’s actions even a little bit.

      To try and put this in a different perspective, there’s no question that Mary’s blackmail of Ruth is horrible, but is there any denying that Ruth should definitely be removed as RA? She’s a serious alcoholic, uses violence against students, and engaged in a sexual relationship with one of her residents, who also happens to be a serious alcoholic. The fact that she’s being blackmailed doesn’t mean that she’s free of blame.

      • fogel
        fogel
        May 28, 2016 at 11:28 am | #

        A suggestion: your separate points are legit taken each by itself, its juxtaposing anything that Carla did with Mary’s trans-baiting that has riled folks, i think, because those two things don’t belong in the same post or thread: they’re incomensurable. If you truly believe that nothing that Carla did or could do would justify Mary’s attack on Carla for being trans — for existing — then please dont talk about them together. They are absolutely separate issues.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 28, 2016 at 11:35 am | #

          Even more though, nothing Carla did justifies anything Mary did beyond maybe the sitting in and blocking the hallway – which could be seen as harmless, fun escalation.

          And it all has to be viewed through the lens of Mary being prejudiced against Carla for being trans. That certainly colored her reactions throughout.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 28, 2016 at 12:19 pm | #

            This. It colors things a lot more to realize that Mary’s true goal is the elimination of all queer people off her floor one way or another and that this is something she’ll escalate to blackmailing the RA to try and get. And that she is fueled by rather direct animus against Carla because of the way she is.

            It makes Mary’s little rule-lawyering way different in intention and her escalations way more clear as deliberate acts of violence and way more justifies the lack of fucks Carla gave to her shit to start with.

            The reality of her intentional transphobia colors everything about every one of their encounters and to examine those encounters without this lens is to ignore a fundamental aspect of why it is happening at all.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 12:16 pm | #

        I see where you’re coming, but you’re also stretching like hell on the Carla thing.

        A pie to the face would constitute assault? Technically maybe, but that’d be a stretch. It wouldn’t be a stretch that is unrealistic, the law is fundamentally misapplied to trans folks and we are blamed and arrested and jailed if we do anything in response to our attackers or those who do those everyday microaggressions that make waking up an hour long fight against the desire to return to the void.

        I remember, quite vividly the number of times family members or very ex-friends tried to blame me for someone seriously musing about coming back and killing me for being trans because when that asshole was just doing a catcall at “some dykes” I stuck my tongue out at him. That apparently was enough to show I deserved it. And I remember cops trying to actively find any excuse for why someone chucked a plate at my head because he thought I was gay or telling trans friends who were raped that there must have been something they did to provoke the person who raped them in front of a Safeway.

        And that’s where the whole thing really falls apart for me. Pies to the face would be an action of extreme restraint in the face of acts of intentional abuse and harassment on the part of Mary, acts that the authority figure is aware of and is doing nothing about (like so many times in Carla’s past).

        And skating in the halls is dumb. And it is conceivably possible she could have bumped into someone and hurt them, but it’s not some inherently dangerous act that needed to be stopped at once and would have been punished severely if Mary had gotten an RA. Carla would have been told to knock it off, if she refused then, she would have gotten written up and maybe fined or had her skates confiscated for a short time. It’s against the “rules” but again, just as a technicality, because its stupid and you don’t want to encourage everyone to do that, but it’s more likely to be ignored as stupid dorm stuff than anything else.

        Also, is anyone still buying the narrative that poor Mary’s studying was “interrupted”? Like, how many times do we have to see Mary doing her little “I’m a snoppy little shit” door peek to hammer home the fact that Mary will use the slightest bit of noise to justify going out and being a busybody. Because being a busybody and a snoop matter far more to her than her studies.

        Like, was Billie making too much noise for Mary to study, when Mary went a-snoopin’ after she simply opened and closed Ruth’s door? Or when Carla was just softly whispering outside her room? Or when Billie was taking out trash with bottles in it? Or when Dorothy was talking at a normal volume to herself outside the door?

        Cause she’s done it every time:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/survey/
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/clinkclink/
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/clear/
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/measuring/

        Skates on carpet are quiet. Stupid, yes, but quiet. Mary just needed an excuse and someone to feel morally superior to. And for that any noise that reveals that people exist in her vicinity sets off her excuses to go and snoop and moralize and butt into everyone else’s business.

        And Carla made a great target because Carla despises authority, because authority has let her down time and time again and thus also doesn’t seek it out when she’s being actively bullied:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/antagonize/

        And that’s the real rub of it. Carla was being a prickly pear and a snarky jerk and not backing down when a known bigot was being a rules lawyer. Being a bit of a jerk because you’ve had a shit life and you’re out of patience for niceties is not something one really needs to be hoping for “punishment” to correct and so when you do that and gloss over the true horror of what Mary is doing, it will come off as at least colored by social expectations for the behavior of trans people at the very least.

        And as for your example. Ruth is abusive and unfit for her role as RA. But when you talk about Mary and Ruth together, now you’ve awakened the spectre that is Mary actively blackmailing Ruth for her sexuality (cause that’s at the core of what Mary cares about, that she’s dating a woman and it’s why she would have gotten her in trouble with the bosses). And suddenly, it becomes clear that that conflict has only one person in the wrong, because of what is happening there.

        That doesn’t excuse the person’s actions, but it does change the lens we’re seeing them through and suddenly it becomes very important that whatever may eventually remove Ruth from her RA duties not have anything to do with Mary ever.

        • Marie
          Marie
          May 28, 2016 at 5:07 pm | #

          The measuring strip you linked is probably way closer to what was going on with Mary in the skating ones than what Mary said.

          But even if that speculation is wrong, it’s a good example of Mary being Mary. Roz is the one who actually is studying, and isn’t bothered, Mary is just listening at the door. As she seems to do a lot.

    • WaytoomanyUIDs
      WaytoomanyUIDs
      May 28, 2016 at 2:26 pm | #

      The dorm is full of annoying noisy jerks. Her roomie for one. But which one did Mary assault? The one related to a conservative state senator, or the one who also happens to be a trans woman?

      That’s what makes it a hate crime

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 28, 2016 at 3:13 pm | #

        That’s a really good point.

    • Marie
      Marie
      May 28, 2016 at 5:02 pm | #

      Flashback to several comment pages ago, when several people were shocked that comments like this could have happened

  57. Noclevername
    Noclevername
    May 28, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

    Bowling ball to Mary’s skull? (Hope hope hope hope)

    • Some1
      Some1
      May 28, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

      Holy shit man!

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

      … hmmm…

      Nah, that’d be way out of line and Carla is a dedicated pacifist who isn’t really comfortable with physical violence.

      That said… I’m definitely hoping for either a metric butt-ton of pies or a pound of glitter (the herpes of arts and crafts).

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 28, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

        Damn it, you made that joke already. Reference. Quote? Eh, credit to you before me, anyways.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 1:43 am | #

          Given the time stamps, I’d say it’s more a sign that dumbiverse minds think alike cause I’m pretty sure we were both typing it at pretty much the exact same time.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      May 28, 2016 at 1:52 am | #

      Pretty sure that would cause death. And Willis already said there would be no on screen deaths. So my money is on pies. Lots and lots of pies, glitter, feathers, and glue.

  58. adam
    adam
    May 28, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

    Is THIS JUST A Massive distraction ,
    so Carla can manually pie Mary in the face?

    • TheGrammarLegionary
      TheGrammarLegionary
      May 28, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

      I… this is the best possible resolution. I want this so badly now.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

      I think it might. Look at the end of the Rube-Goldberg machine. There doesn’t appear to be anything that would actually do anything towards Mary other than show off how good of an Engineer Carla is… unless I’m missing something.

  59. Spongegirl Circleskirt
    Spongegirl Circleskirt
    May 28, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

    I bet it just holds up a sign that says “YER A JERK, MARY!”

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:36 am | #

      I read that in Hagrid’s voice. Was not disappointed.

  60. brionl
    brionl
    May 28, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

    Many moons ago when I was a young ‘un, the library had a big ol’ book of Rube Goldberg cartoons.

    It was a really great book, I’d love to get a copy of it.

  61. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    May 28, 2016 at 12:47 am | #

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arZdeg_fL-I

  62. Achallenger
    Achallenger
    May 28, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

    remember kids, if ur rude ur gonna get rubed

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 28, 2016 at 4:26 am | #

      +1

  63. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    May 28, 2016 at 12:53 am | #

    I’m going to call that there will be several days of comics showing the Rube Goldberg machine, executing step by step, interspersed with a growing look of horror and panic on Mary’s face.

  64. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    May 28, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

    I can’t help noticing that there seems to be something — a pipe, a cord, something — going off-panel to the left, and that the white track/trough slanting downwards from right to left seems to lead directly to it.  I think we are only seeing the first phase of Carla’s Vengeance Weapon and there’s more that we have not yet been shown.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

      I believe it’s an extension cord for the hair dryer.

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        May 28, 2016 at 3:57 am | #

        No, it looks like that is coming in from the right side.  The little yellow thingamabob is the socket, and the hair dryer cord — which has the balloon tied onto it — is plugged into that.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          May 28, 2016 at 12:50 pm | #

          Yeah I just noticed I read the direction wrong there. It’s either a feed in for the ‘torches’ or a feed out to another contraption, possibly a distraction for the end.

  65. Palamdrone
    Palamdrone
    May 28, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

    Let me guess…this is going to climax with a pie to the face.

    • Ryek Hvek
      Ryek Hvek
      May 28, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

      a coconut custard pie with whipped cream

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 28, 2016 at 9:52 am | #

        “Pwease, Mistah Bogart… it was a tewwible mistake…”

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:40 am | #

      [Insert Sexual Climax Joke Here]

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 28, 2016 at 9:53 am | #

        If only all climaxes tasted like coconut custard…

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          May 28, 2016 at 12:52 pm | #

          If you had a wiring/chemical imbalance in the brain, I think that could be possible.

  66. Skizz
    Skizz
    May 28, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

    That feeling when you know you should just close the door, but you really want to see how it turns out. Even when you know how it turns out won’t be good for you.

  67. nobodybasically
    nobodybasically
    May 28, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

    So who else is expecting the chain reaction to be nothing but a distraction, causing Mary to lower her guard at the end when nothing happens only for Carla to fling something in her face out of the box?

  68. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    May 28, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

    Oh this is gonna be…sweet.

  69. merbrat
    merbrat
    May 28, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

    When I was a kid, we had the Rube Goldberg cartoons in our Sunday Funnies! I loved following the dotted line showing the path of mayhem!

  70. Some1
    Some1
    May 28, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

    When you receive hate, do not respond with violence, instead respond with pies, and goofy machines. These are the lessons that Carla has taught us, and I think were all better of for it.

    Makes me wonder if at some point we’ll get a liberal character who’s just as bad as someone like Ross with the difference being that she or he is going after Mary. Like a character who uses LGBT issues as an excuse to kill people under some weird sense of justice that no one else follows, and they just made up in their head. Like the average Tumblr user! I kid I kid!

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      May 28, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

      So, Harvey Dent’s third alter from the animated series, “The Judge”?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:32 am | #

      Sure, once that becomes as common a personality type as the Ross’s of the world and serve as a major source of personal trauma in Willis’s youth representing all the bigotry and hatred in the worldview in which he was raised, I’m sure we’ll see it.

      All we need is a time machine and for that to have ever have been a thing ever.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 28, 2016 at 1:43 am | #

        Sounds a bit like a GP taken to 11. Kinda hard to picture in real life, but fiction based on real life? Like a crime drama? That I could see. (A producer’s ‘comfortable’ way of addressing the issues)

      • Some1
        Some1
        May 28, 2016 at 1:52 am | #

        Remember this bullshit

        http://www.dailydot.com/geek/steven-universe-fanartist-bullied-controversy/

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 1:56 am | #

          Oh yeah, what an abusive little turd.

          Still not really as common or as present in Willis’s formative years as the Toedad types, but I do have a special loathing for those who hide behind calls for social justice to abuse, harass, and try and kill others.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          May 28, 2016 at 3:54 am | #

          I mean, that’s sort of Roz. She flipped her shit at Joyce because Joyce is an evil fundie and Roz is the paragon of social justice so obviously she deserves to scream in Joyce’s face about how she’s vile to gay people, over the objections of her gay teacher who is telling her to knock that shit off because this is a classroom and not Roz’s tumblr. It’s just that Roz practices what she preaches, she does mean well, and she’s a dumb kid like the rest of the cast with a lot of growing up to do.

          Douchebag liberals exist because douchebag everythings exist, and folks who use social justice concerns to actively harm people are a massive bag of dicks, but I don’t think some asshole with a tumblr is nearly as endemic or harmful as the worst elements of the right who are on a decades long crusade to deny basic human rights to those icky sex weirdos. It’s still fine to talk about how they’re dumb and worthy of mockery, but it just really isn’t as big a deal.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 28, 2016 at 5:07 am | #

            Plus Roz has to deal with Mary 24/7 so it’s understandable why she’d have zero to no patience for fundamentalism, especially coming from the girl who had slut-shamed her repeatedly before that moment.

            But yeah, overall, I really like the Roz arc where she thinks she’s got it all figured out with her social justice, but hasn’t fully developed her activism yet to not just be pounding on people who are already in pain and crisis. And I like that she learns from her mistakes even if she’s still got some wounded pride in admitting it.

            And seriously on that last paragraph. I get that tumblr is the latest “those kids today and their hippity-hops and vidjeo games, I tells ya” that all of us are supposed to look down on the teenagers for, but as you note, they don’t have nearly the same institutional power as literal sitting senators, governors, and billionaires buying out our entire justice system wholesale and thus have nowhere near the same power to ruin lives as the Toedads of the world.

          • NZA
            NZA
            May 28, 2016 at 5:25 am | #

            The Mary’s of the world will gravitate towards what ever ideology will give them the most social power which for a long time has been Christianity, hell it’s not like the bible supports the way Mary is acting.

            Also a lot of the really nasty asshole liberals are aimed at trans people, With trans people Having been attacked and receiving death threats for showing up at pride events and all the TERF nonsense, probably because bullies prefer people who don’t have a lot of power to defend them selves

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              May 28, 2016 at 8:54 am | #

              True enough, especially on TERFs being gigantic shitmongers. A lot of leftist prejudice, I find, tends to display itself through punching downwards.

              I still feel that the power balance is skewed to the point where folks like that exist and also deserve a kick to the face, but that the problems caused by the right still exist in a more ingrained and institutionalized way.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                May 28, 2016 at 12:53 pm | #

                This and what NZA said. And yeah, trans folks are definitely the target du jour for a lot of awful awful human wreckage. It’s about 90% of why I don’t bother having social media accounts.

              • NZA
                NZA
                May 28, 2016 at 5:16 pm | #

                Yeah the rights bullshit is more ingrained but the U.S. seems to be leaning left on the whole, probably why the right is lashing out so much at the moment.

                The risk in ignoring the leftist assholes is some of them could end up representing us ten years down the line.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  May 28, 2016 at 8:32 pm | #

                  I’ll take that risk. I’d much rather focus on the ones doing damage now and worry about future problems from the left later than do anything to legitimize the current anti-political correctness nonsense.

                  Yeah, there are some attacks from the left on transfolk, but compared to those from the right? And the vast majority of the support is from the left too.

          • Some1
            Some1
            May 28, 2016 at 1:56 pm | #

            Roz isn’t nearly that bad, Roz actually cares about the issues she brings up. She’s just overly rash, which is understandable, but she does try to help people. Like when she told Joyce to talk to someone about the party.

            People like that don’t actually give a fuck about the issues they claim to support. If they did they would spend their time actually helping suppressed people, and working with LGBT support groups. All they want to do is hurt people, and they’ll hide behind some idea of social justice while whining that they’re the victims whenever anyone tries to call them out on their shit. Their no better then people like Mary, or Gamer Gate or any other group of harassing assholes.

  71. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 28, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

    I don’t see pie.

    I expected pie.

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 28, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

      There Will Be Pie.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      May 28, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

      The pie was a lie (for now anyways).

      • Clif
        Clif
        May 28, 2016 at 9:35 pm | #

        There is no pie inside the box.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:44 am | #

      Never expect pie. Hope, sure.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 2:19 am | #

      Waiting for Pie-dot?

    • Sushi
      Sushi
      May 28, 2016 at 3:06 am | #

      When I’m expecting pie, I watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDJQ7zn3-2g

      • merbrat
        merbrat
        May 28, 2016 at 12:36 pm | #

        Yuss! “Brandy! Throw more brandy!”
        The other one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AOeSrLCD-U

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      May 28, 2016 at 9:58 am | #

      The pie’s in the box. The machine is actually just a distraction, meant to push Mary to the point of exasperation. She will scream, rant at Carla for a few minutes, and then angrily demand to know what’s in the box. Carla will tilt the box towards Mary, which triggers the spring-loaded arm that shoots the pie into her face.

  72. AUnicornNoOneAskedFor
    AUnicornNoOneAskedFor
    May 28, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

    Part of me thinks: I hope that this is some elaborate way of setting Mary on edge and taking her enough out of her comfort zone so that Carla can SHOW HER that she’s being ridiculous.

    A much larger part of me thinks: Carla isn’t the fucking trans-spokeswoman and shouldn’t be burdened with having to teach and train bigots who don’t want to learn. PIE HER RIGHT IN THE FACE, GURL!

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:45 am | #

      I think I’ve see that second paragraph here before. In-universe or Comments, I don’t know.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:47 am | #

      That latter part, so much. And I think it’s the more likely.

      Carla is not the polite “hello, I’m your friendly neighborhood trans person” type that so many of us are forced to be in our daily lives. She’s the skater punk making jokes about the “down with cis” bus. And fuck yeah, do I love the lack of fucks she gives.

      Like, she doesn’t want to educate bigots. She wants to pie them in the face until they never again think they can get away with breaking her skates and calling her a boy.

      And it’s a large part of why I can’t ever get enough of Carla. Cause she’s a fearless badass who’s just 120% done with this transphobic shit.

      • vivid
        vivid
        May 28, 2016 at 4:03 am | #

        definitely a wish fulfillment fantasy and i love it

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 5:08 am | #

          Totes! It’s like, damn I’d love to give as few fucks as that.

          • Clodia
            Clodia
            May 28, 2016 at 5:55 am | #

            Characters who give no damns are my absolute weakness, especially when they’re still a good person too, as Mary is. I can only wish I could be as competent and no fuck giving as Carla.

            • Clif
              Clif
              May 28, 2016 at 9:38 pm | #

              Mary is a good person? Say what?

  73. Onion
    Onion
    May 28, 2016 at 1:39 am | #

    Welp, I’ve finally read up to the current page. My life could only be more complete if I knew the tune to 1812 Overture.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

      No one’s life is complete without hearing it.

      • Onion
        Onion
        May 28, 2016 at 3:40 pm | #

        I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING NOW

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      May 28, 2016 at 1:50 am | #

      Here you go then, 1812 Overture.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbxgYlcNxE8

  74. Indiana Bones
    Indiana Bones
    May 28, 2016 at 1:42 am | #

    it’s similar to, but not entirely like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWF2gDZU52U. For one thing, there’s fewer balloons

  75. Darwin
    Darwin
    May 28, 2016 at 1:46 am | #

    Why is it always 1812 Overture, and not Powerhouse, by Raymond Scott (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9-7uLg-DZU&feature=player_detailpage#t=29s) ? That’s the song that always goes through my mind whenever there’s an elaborate Rube Goldberg-style prank machine.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 28, 2016 at 1:53 am | #

      The background sounds like the “Jaws Theme“.

    • PSadlon
      PSadlon
      May 28, 2016 at 1:57 am | #

      More people recognize the 1812 Overture and those who recognize Powerhouse know better to stick around to closely to see the results.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      May 28, 2016 at 10:17 am | #

      Because it starts slow and quiet, explores a lot of themes and builds to an explosive climax? Ends triumphant, as will Carla. Like Bolero without the sex. By comparison, other music is just filler.

  76. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    May 28, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

    Mary’s in for a real Rube Goldberging

  77. mister gray
    mister gray
    May 28, 2016 at 2:08 am | #

    this act needs to be a gif for the next comic 🙂

  78. Fwip
    Fwip
    May 28, 2016 at 2:09 am | #

    If Mary’s smart, she’ll take whatever comes next and just walk away from it. ‘Cause at some point, one of them’s gonna have to be the mature one and move on, and it looks like it’s about to be Mary’s turn to make that decision.

    • jaimehlers
      jaimehlers
      May 28, 2016 at 2:30 am | #

      Not a chance in the world of her being smart enough to do that.

      What Mary will very likely do is go off on a rant at Carla, not suspecting that she might have a tape recorder on her.

      I don’t morally approve of blackmail, even if it’s to stop someone who is already using it, but Mary will have no room to complain since she’s the one who went there first.

      • Fwip
        Fwip
        May 28, 2016 at 2:44 am | #

        You are probably right.

        Who uses tape in this day and age, incidentally.

        • Some1
          Some1
          May 28, 2016 at 2:47 am | #

          Peridot

          • Fwip
            Fwip
            May 28, 2016 at 2:55 am | #

            … Point.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        May 28, 2016 at 12:35 pm | #

        I don’t think Carla would ever resort to blackmail. Mary HAS to slink around and blackmail Ruth because IU would absolutely kick her out for transphobic slurs. She wants to be a monster, and she knows she can’t get away with it if the very top dogs know.

        Carla doesn’t have that restriction. If Mary goes off on her now and Carla records it, she takes that tape to a dean or Ruth’s boss, says “This is one of my floormates, help,” and Mary is gone. At that point, if Mary tries to bring up Ruth as one last “Fuck you,” at worst Ruth deals with someone investigating her while she deals with her ongoing sobriety. At best, they dismiss the whole thing and expel Mary there and then.

        Cerberus is right, Carla taking this into her hands, as opposed for the traditional tale of the transperson needing saving by cis allies, is the best way this story could have gone.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 28, 2016 at 5:28 pm | #

          I think that’s very optimistic. And I’m pretty sure, based on Carla’s comments to Ruth that she’d agree. That she wouldn’t expect the university to support her and kick Mary out.

          And the chances are pretty good she’d be right. Whatever the university’s official policies are.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            May 28, 2016 at 6:49 pm | #

            TBH I think it’s extremely likely that the school would, at worst, tell Mary to stop before going on Carla’s case and how she contributed to having hate speech thrown at her. I don’t think Carla would be comfortable having her folks sue the school into the ground, either.

            Carla’s cold, swift, and absolutely ridiculous revenge plan against Mary is probably the best justice she could get.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 28, 2016 at 7:54 pm | #

              This. If IU is anything like most universities at the moment, the most that would likely happen is Mary would get a talking to and a warning about what are and aren’t acceptable ways to treat minority students.

              Universities talk a big game about being on the ball about things like trans discrimination, but during my experiences being a mentor for trans college kids, the reality on the ground is that the university frequently has a “la la la I can’t hear you” attitude towards trans reports of harassment and violence on campus and is especially silent on issues of students being awful in the dorms to trans students.

              • Spencer
                Spencer
                May 28, 2016 at 8:14 pm | #

                Yeah, I fully believe that. Like, oh I’m sure the big university in the central US is going to side with the Queer lady who dares to be confrontational and *gasp* exist over the straight, cis, white fundamentalist Christian who “just wanted to be left alone.” I feel like they’d at least convey to Mary that she isn’t allowed to pull that shit, but I can’t see it being pushed to any significant degree, let alone Mary taking that lesson to heart.

                Heck, I don’t think Carla’s case would go any farther than “oh so why were you skating in the halls that’s rule breaking.”

  79. Matt
    Matt
    May 28, 2016 at 2:15 am | #

    So mary is an engineer I see

  80. Jesse
    Jesse
    May 28, 2016 at 2:18 am | #

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/83/c7/b2/83c7b20bd6979da4090a235a66b86cff.jpg

  81. Megatron
    Megatron
    May 28, 2016 at 2:18 am | #

    Carla is best fleshling.

  82. Falcon
    Falcon
    May 28, 2016 at 2:25 am | #

    I don’t think I’ll ever like Carla, but she’s certainly earned my respect.

  83. Rycan
    Rycan
    May 28, 2016 at 2:36 am | #

    This makes my day. Thank you.

  84. BenRG
    BenRG
    May 28, 2016 at 2:38 am | #

    I was right! It is a Mousetrap ™!

  85. anonymsly
    anonymsly
    May 28, 2016 at 2:49 am | #

    You know what’ll really impress me? If the thingies attached to the poles explode or whatever in time with the cannon fire in the 1812.

    THAT is what will get me to permanently tip my cap to Carla. What precision!

  86. zmm
    zmm
    May 28, 2016 at 2:58 am | #

    Please let this be a pie

  87. doubleW
    doubleW
    May 28, 2016 at 3:14 am | #

    The machine does nothing. The pie is in Carla’s hand

  88. DoggySpew
    DoggySpew
    May 28, 2016 at 3:22 am | #

    It was at this moment Mary knew, she fucked up.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 5:17 am | #

      She dun goofed!

  89. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    May 28, 2016 at 3:22 am | #

    Maybe Mary will get dumped by a bucket of blood al a Carrie.

    She’d be Bloody Mary. 😛

  90. David Alexander McDonald
    David Alexander McDonald
    May 28, 2016 at 3:28 am | #

    When Mary finally gets by/sets it off, and flees for her sanity, she finds Ok Go waiting for her. https://youtu.be/qybUFnY7Y8w

    And when she escapes *that* and gets outside…she finds Ok Go waiting for her. https://youtu.be/UJKythlXAIY

    Mary is never seen again.

    • David Alexander McDonald
      David Alexander McDonald
      May 28, 2016 at 3:29 am | #

      That second Ok Go video is probably my favourite of theirs. Generally I can’t stand the music, but I love the videos.

  91. Willinwoods
    Willinwoods
    May 28, 2016 at 3:48 am | #

    Aaand *1812 Ouverture swell/segue into Front 242s Headhunter* (Cudos to the OST composer/arranger!)

  92. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 28, 2016 at 3:58 am | #

    I hope this ends with many-many pies.

  93. Paul
    Paul
    May 28, 2016 at 3:59 am | #

    It has already been triggered. The first bowling ball is already falling.

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 28, 2016 at 4:23 am | #

      It is too late for the billiards to vote.

  94. Gareth
    Gareth
    May 28, 2016 at 4:00 am | #

    I know this is happening to Mary but I can’t help but be a little concerned.

  95. CJ
    CJ
    May 28, 2016 at 4:07 am | #

    Isn’t the big blue thing on the left a trampolin?
    So the bowling ball will fall, jump into the spoon on the right and then what?
    All those yellow thingies are mistifiying. Switches?

  96. vivid
    vivid
    May 28, 2016 at 4:15 am | #

    – suicide attempt warning –

    idk why but i find it hilarious that im going to the ER for overdose attempt right after checking doa for the update

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 5:15 am | #

      *tight hugs* Hang in there. Remember that you are loved and you have people who want to see you stay safe and okay and I’m proud of you for making sure you get to the ER. Those dark thoughts are never fun to go through and I know how attempts can leave a person sheepish and drained, so just know that we’re all rooting for you and believe in you.

    • Clodia
      Clodia
      May 28, 2016 at 5:51 am | #

      [hugs] I hope you come back for many, many more updates. As someone who struggles with suicidal ideation, I sympathize and am sending you as many good thoughts that I can spare.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 28, 2016 at 8:20 am | #

      *all the hugs*

    • Valerie
      Valerie
      May 28, 2016 at 8:28 am | #

      I hope everything turns out alright. Please take care of yourself. Get help if you need it. Love and light.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      May 28, 2016 at 2:47 pm | #

      Thank you for getting to the ER. I’m grateful that you have the unkillable part of you, the part that made sure that you got help. Good luck. <3

  97. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    May 28, 2016 at 4:31 am | #

    That box is for your head, Mary.

  98. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 28, 2016 at 4:36 am | #

    Poor little bullied transgirl. Exhausted by Mary’s attack all she could do was slink away and…
    …figure out an overly convoluted revenge scheme
    …draw up schematics to a ridiculously complex rube goldberg machine
    …BUILD it
    …Spend the day whistling around in the corridors to catch Mary’s attention.
    …Move the machine in place
    …While whistling the 1812 Overture.

    The message this sends is that Carla
    – Is not afraid of Mary
    – Has not lost energy or agency over Mary
    – Does not take Mary serious enough as a threat that she is worth some SERIOUS counteraction
    – In fact has no fucks to give about Mary.

    While so far not hurting Mary AT ALL, and also making sure the entire floor knows about the conflict. If Mary tries to escalate after this she will look even more petty than she already does.

    The perfect revenge in other words.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      May 28, 2016 at 4:53 am | #

      Eh, if Mary thinks she can blackmail Ruth into being completely protected, Carla should do whatever she wants to her.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 28, 2016 at 5:13 am | #

        She does! That’s the beauty of it. Carla doesn’t need to do anything worse than this to burst Mary’s bubble.

        It doesn’t have to be BAD only RIDICULOUS!

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 28, 2016 at 5:22 am | #

          Yup, and it’s a beauteous derailing of the standard trans victim storyline, where it’s all about the cis allies overcoming their prejudice to finally see the trans person as a human and speak strongly one single time on their behalf and thus solve transphobia forever.

          Carla refused all that nonsense and refused Ruth’s attempts to smuggle her into her self-destructive narrative of “failing her”. And she’s doing everything in her power to gain her power back, put Mary on the back foot and teach her why there are consequences for fucking with her, that having Carla’s full attention is a bad idea, and makes sure everyone is more aware of the nastiness and open bigotry and abuse that’s up until now just been passively accepted by everyone else.

          Carla is fucking brilliant and I’m loving the sheer intelligence and exactness of her setup. She really thought deep on how best to send exactly the messages she wanted to send with zero non-Mary casualties.

          • DeltaRiver
            DeltaRiver
            May 28, 2016 at 10:15 am | #

            I’m going to be honest, as someone who’s genderqueer and largely closeted, I’m afraid, especially when I read your comments. That’s not an insult, your comments are very well-reasoned, rational, and are very, very real. They reflect a hateful, destructive reality, one that I will have to go into at some point. So I’m scared.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 28, 2016 at 1:01 pm | #

              I’m not going to snow you and say being trans is an easy hand to have been dealt, but I can say this with confidence. Being yourself ends up being worth it. The amount I’ve been able to fully engage with my life by not burying all my dysphoria into a box has been literally life-changing. And for all the shit, there will come a time when you’ll look back and be damn happy with how your life is shaped.

              I’m getting there now. I’ve got a job as an out trans teacher and am mentoring 5 trans kids making sure they don’t have the same tough road I did with school and home. I’ve got a girlfriend and an enbyfriend I love very much. And I have the piece of my family that fully accepts me for what I am and has provided real comfort in dark moments.

              And I will fight every day to make sure you don’t have to go through all the shit I did coming out and being me. Because you deserve to be you. Fully and completely and unapologetically. And for what it’s worth, I can tell you this. I have your back 100% of the way.

              *approprtiate gesture of comfort and support*

              You’ve got this!

              • DeltaRiver
                DeltaRiver
                May 28, 2016 at 1:17 pm | #

                Is it alright if I print this comment out or something so I have it to look at? That was beautifully put!

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  May 28, 2016 at 1:35 pm | #

                  Please do!

                • Leorale
                  Leorale
                  May 28, 2016 at 8:03 pm | #

                  <3

    • BrokenEye, The True False Prophet
      BrokenEye, The True False Prophet
      May 28, 2016 at 5:40 am | #

      Problem is, I don’t think Mary cares about looking petty. Or is even aware of it, for that matter.

  99. No
    No
    May 28, 2016 at 4:51 am | #

    Why even be frightened by this stupidity I mean just knock one thing out of place and walk away… I think a questioning look would be a lot more appropriate.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 5:13 am | #

      Mary is very paranoid about everything and that makes her very stupid about things. And it’s why this trap is perfect for her. Mary will freak over a Rube Goldberg machine. Roz will shrug. And someone like Dina will get a closer look because Rube Goldberg machines are cool.

      I’m also suspecting like a lot of the board that this machine is just one big distraction for Carla to bean her with a pie to the face.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 28, 2016 at 6:03 am | #

      You look out your door (triggering it as you do so) and see something like this.  You must first assess what it is, determine what it is going to do, acknowledge that it is a threat or danger to you, and then take an appropriate action.  But by then it’s too late.

  100. Chaucer59
    Chaucer59
    May 28, 2016 at 5:02 am | #

    I have a genuine, newfound respect for Carla.

  101. Abel Undercity
    Abel Undercity
    May 28, 2016 at 5:34 am | #

    As long as everyone’s dropping appropriate music, I thought I’d throw out this theme-relevant piece from Professor Elemental: https://soundcloud.com/jmob/clockwork

    • Clodia
      Clodia
      May 28, 2016 at 5:48 am | #

      Excellent choice, Professor Elemental is fantastic.

  102. BrokenEye, The True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, The True False Prophet
    May 28, 2016 at 5:37 am | #

    What does the device actually do?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 28, 2016 at 8:03 am | #

      Awesome things, that’s what!!!

  103. TheHabbadasher
    TheHabbadasher
    May 28, 2016 at 5:50 am | #

    Ok, it’s official, as official as can be, Carla is quite simply the best.

  104. Kaos
    Kaos
    May 28, 2016 at 6:24 am | #

    Ah a storm petersen gagdet. I love these. so much fun in these. rock on!

    • figureaddict
      figureaddict
      May 28, 2016 at 10:56 am | #

      Heath Robison was actually the first person to come up with the rudimentary idea, Rube Goldberg then made them much more elaborate and interesting, Storm P coppied Rube Goldberg.

      • Kaos
        Kaos
        May 29, 2016 at 4:30 am | #

        So i see. still i will call these Storm Petersen gadget/machines since it is a strong part of my culture. Not hard to guess where i am from right? xD
        H was indeed inspired by Rube Goldberg. he loved the idea to do a simple thing with silly complicated machines. he simply drawed so many.

  105. Hawke
    Hawke
    May 28, 2016 at 6:28 am | #

    Yes, hi, I’m now officially completely in love with Carla.

    This can only end well.

    • QWERTY
      QWERTY
      May 28, 2016 at 10:06 am | #

      Or Mary ends up in the hospital because she tried to climb out her window.

  106. Mr.Morningstar
    Mr.Morningstar
    May 28, 2016 at 8:12 am | #

    and thus it was said that karma, much like mary

    is a bongo

    • Mr.Morningstar
      Mr.Morningstar
      May 28, 2016 at 8:13 am | #

      oh right i forgot that word is censored

      • Shade
        Shade
        May 28, 2016 at 1:06 pm | #

        And yet somehow, the censor makes it sound so much better.

  107. Deltron
    Deltron
    May 28, 2016 at 8:30 am | #

    You know what would be amazing here, would be if there was a fire, and then Mary burned to death because Carla had trapped her inside her room

  108. elbowmac
    elbowmac
    May 28, 2016 at 8:34 am | #

    You know what would be amazing here, would be if there was a fire, and then Mary burned to death because Carla had trapped her inside her room

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      May 28, 2016 at 8:43 am | #

      That would be horrifying, Mary’s apparently decent enough parents would lose their daughter, Roz would lose her room and belongings, and Carla would be a murderer.

      • Jerry
        Jerry
        May 28, 2016 at 9:47 am | #

        Sooo… Where’s the problem?

        • JT
          JT
          May 28, 2016 at 12:52 pm | #

          The part where Carla commits a major felony and likely ends up in a mens prison because this is Indiana.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            May 28, 2016 at 1:04 pm | #

            Yeah, that part.

            Plus the whole, Mary doesn’t deserve to die even if she’s an awful piece of human sewage thing.

  109. Sam
    Sam
    May 28, 2016 at 9:17 am | #

    Uh oh

    These are the moments when the Coyote realized that was actually running on thin air.

  110. QWERTY
    QWERTY
    May 28, 2016 at 10:05 am | #

    Sweet,sweet revenge- Goldberg style.

    • figureaddict
      figureaddict
      May 28, 2016 at 10:27 am | #

      Rube-Golderg that witch!

  111. Matthew Chapdelaine
    Matthew Chapdelaine
    May 28, 2016 at 10:50 am | #

    The trap is meaningless for a reason. Mary will get so flustered by this elaborate trap that she will go downstairs and be in such a stressed out huff that she will accidentally incriminate herself. Carla’s plan all along.

  112. a snow mous e
    a snow mous e
    May 28, 2016 at 11:16 am | #

    WOOT RUBE GOLDBERG

  113. a snow mous e
    a snow mous e
    May 28, 2016 at 11:30 am | #

    How the hell was that plank up there in the first place? What was holding it in place before Mary pulled the door?

    • a snow mous e
      a snow mous e
      May 28, 2016 at 11:41 am | #

      OK, I think I see how it worked… works best if the top of the plank has a slight slope…

  114. Sensei Le Roof
    Sensei Le Roof
    May 28, 2016 at 11:53 am | #

    It won’t work. The pink book (the one on a slant) is unsupported, so when the bowling ball hits it’ll just slide flat. After that, the heavier it is, the less likely it’ll roll onto the trampoline.

    • a snow mous e
      a snow mous e
      May 28, 2016 at 12:00 pm | #

      It could be glued to the wood.

    • a snow mous e
      a snow mous e
      May 28, 2016 at 12:33 pm | #

      Also, how did Mary even open the door if it was supporting the weight of a bowling ball as seems to be implied?

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 28, 2016 at 1:09 pm | #

        Simple Machines are Magic!

  115. Harvey Janus
    Harvey Janus
    May 28, 2016 at 12:18 pm | #

    I hope the machine actually does have a pay-off separate from whatever is in the box. OR conversely I hope the pay-off is Mary breaking down into a long screaming, barely coherent, tirade that draws everyone’s attention, just before Mary attempts physical violence, not realizing everyone is watching. At which point Carla’s pie in the face would be self-defense and one of the other residents would go get campus security.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      May 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm | #

      That’s my guess as well. Mary’s already escalated it to ranting and slurs, Carla appears to have set this up in the hall without majorly inconveniencing anyone (since it is a Saturday evening, presumably everyone who has somewhere to go is already out and everyone else is either inside chilling WITHOUT being bothered by minor noise or watching Carla’s whole installation with interest,) it will take very very little to set Mary off and most people in the hall will take Carla’s side easy.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      May 28, 2016 at 3:37 pm | #

      Considering that preview I saw on Dumblr of age, this war is only getting started.

  116. Regalli
    Regalli
    May 28, 2016 at 12:19 pm | #

    The best part of this by far is that from the looks of things, it’s an entirely useless art/engineering project designed to look impressive and intimidating but do nothing else whatsoever.

    Because the pie is, of course, in the box Carla’s holding.

  117. Zatar
    Zatar
    May 28, 2016 at 12:21 pm | #

    Oh man I needed this this morning. Reverse Damn you Willis.

    • a snow mous e
      a snow mous e
      May 28, 2016 at 12:34 pm | #

      silliw uoy sselb

  118. a snow mous e
    a snow mous e
    May 28, 2016 at 12:42 pm | #

    So, if the bowling ball does roll onto the trampoline, then it will hit the stack of books, and then… wait, what’s keeping the hairdryer and flyswatter up?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 28, 2016 at 12:56 pm | #

      Seems to be attached to the stack of books.
      I think the theory is that the bowling ball bounces on the trampoline, hits the flyswatter which turns the hairdryer on, blowing the balloon into the needle, releasing something into the bowl at the end of the ramp/arm. Not sure what happens from there.

      • anonymsly
        anonymsly
        May 28, 2016 at 8:56 pm | #

        I think the popped balloon falls into the bowl and weights it down enough to push up the white bar(s) and release whatever thingies are attached to the poles.

        I’m currently wondering why the poles have those candlesticky trident tops.

        • Dr. T
          Dr. T
          May 28, 2016 at 9:25 pm | #

          It really just looks like a really complex way to light four torches, which is scary enough for Mary, but I don’t know how that really gets her unless the point is for it to “fail”, only for Carla to “apologize” to Mary for the failure and promise that her surprise will work the next time. I think it would be glorious if the point is to make Mary afraid to leave her room and force her to stay out of everyone’s business for fear of opening the door when the contraption works right the next time.

  119. Orion Fury
    Orion Fury
    May 28, 2016 at 1:03 pm | #

    And the insensitive, assholish comment got deleted. We don’t need that kind of stuff around here. Or anywhere else, for that matter. And now I shall leave the comment I was going to leave, but didn’t since I had checked out of here upon seeing said deleted comment.

    Fourth Panel: “What have I wrought?”

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:06 pm | #

      *hug*

      Yeah, that comment was really fucking gross.

  120. The Phantom's Belch
    The Phantom's Belch
    May 28, 2016 at 1:29 pm | #

    *reads comments* Wait… Carla is trans? When was this revealed? (I know Mary hates all – except maybe Joyce as a fellow fundie Christian, and even then I have doubts because Mary is by nature a Hater – but I don’t recall Carla ever being outted as trans.)

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 1:38 pm | #

      Heh.

      But just in case it was serious and not a joke question, Carla canon stated she was trans in this strip:
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/antagonize/

      Though there have been multiple clues in her earlier appearances like her initial anger at seeing a dick drawn on her door.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 29, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

        I periodically quote her lines in that strip.

  121. TeaTime
    TeaTime
    May 28, 2016 at 1:53 pm | #

    The way the bowling ball is falling makes me think that it’ll just knock that book down rather than use it as a mini-ramp, meaning that if it goes on the trampoline it’ll probably just bounce uselessly? Cartoon logic will probably make it work right, however working right is with this contraption, but a large part of me wants the machine to fail horribly and then have Carla be like “*shrug* whelp, back tot he drawing board”

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 28, 2016 at 2:04 pm | #

      I’m pretty sure that book is nailed to those boards. I’m gonna guess it’s a last year book she couldn’t sell back to the student bookstore.

  122. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 28, 2016 at 2:19 pm | #

    On a simpler note: Having actually had to deal with dorm life where it was hell with other residents due to the noise made, it’s a personal bugbear but I’d rather deal with a million Carlas than one Mary. Mary is an insidious sort of bigot who plays the victim but is constantly using every method, by hook or by crook (as the Prisoner would say) to destroy the queer folk on her floor. They have committed the crime of existing and anything they do is justification for attacking them.

  123. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    May 28, 2016 at 2:22 pm | #

    I have both Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure and The Goonies in my head now.

    • Janet
      Janet
      May 28, 2016 at 2:24 pm | #

      Don’t forget Honey I Shrunk The Kids

  124. sliver
    sliver
    May 28, 2016 at 2:51 pm | #

    Can I just be impressed that Carla can apparently whistle the entire 1812 Overture? Building the Rube Goldberg machine is just icing on the cake.

  125. Felgraf
    Felgraf
    May 28, 2016 at 3:21 pm | #

    I deeply, deeply need to figure out how to make a Vibrating Gif of Carla’s face in the last panel with “1812 OVERTURE INTENSIFIES” plastered over it.

  126. THE GREETEST PAPYRUS
    THE GREETEST PAPYRUS
    May 28, 2016 at 3:37 pm | #

    Now if she was smart she would just close the door.

  127. Nezumi
    Nezumi
    May 28, 2016 at 6:38 pm | #

    It looks to me like that wouldn’t actually do anything except look ominous.

  128. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 28, 2016 at 6:40 pm | #

    Is it wrong that, since Willis says no one dies, I want Mary to leave the strip by leaving school?

    • Nezumi
      Nezumi
      May 29, 2016 at 11:34 am | #

      I’m still pushing for him to make an exception just for her.

  129. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    May 28, 2016 at 6:48 pm | #

    What would happen if Roz opened the door?

    • sjmcc13
      sjmcc13
      May 28, 2016 at 11:46 pm | #

      fun things 😉
      The trap may be Roz Proof, or have a disarm mechanism in case she opened the door.

  130. Raen
    Raen
    May 28, 2016 at 7:03 pm | #

    Rube Goldberg vs. Napoleon.

  131. Dylan
    Dylan
    May 28, 2016 at 8:04 pm | #

    While there’s part of me that wants to see Mary humiliated by whatever this device does, I’m wondering if this isn’t more of a psychological lesson. “You know how unsafe you’re feeling right now? That’s how I feel. ALL. THE. TIME.”

  132. Jhon
    Jhon
    May 28, 2016 at 9:25 pm | #

    Yes! Yes! YES!
    The Sweet Engineering I’ve been hoping for!

    (engineer here, if you hadn’t guessed)

  133. halcyon1234
    halcyon1234
    May 28, 2016 at 11:05 pm | #

    Silly Carla. The 1812 Overture was used for “Perfection”, not “Mousetrap”. Back to school with you.

  134. Muchacho NL
    Muchacho NL
    May 29, 2016 at 8:50 am | #

    Why did I think about TIM (The Incredible Machine) rather than Mouse Trap?

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