Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 5, 2026

Praises

by David M Willis on October 25, 2017 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Face the Strange
└ Tags: jacob, joyce

Discussion (247) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. BBCC
    BBCC
    October 25, 2017 at 12:01 am | #

    Well said, Joyce.

    • butting
      butting
      October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      “She walloped a would-be rapist with a bat” isn’t something you just blurt out over lunch.

      Unless you’re Becky.

      They shoulda gone for pizza.

      • Shiro
        Shiro
        October 25, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

        Am I remembering correctly that one of Jake’s pluses for Joyce was “she totally punched a kidnapper in the face”? So y’never know, he might be impressed!

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          October 25, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

          Sarah’s prowess with a bat not only prevented a rape, it made her the team leader in RBIs.

          • Pablo360
            Pablo360
            October 25, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

            I don’t know what RBIs stands for so I’m going to assume it’s short for Nihilist Arby’s, which makes far more sense than it should.

            • Yumi
              Yumi
              October 25, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

              I assume in this case it’s “Rapists Bashed In.”

              *Note that I do know what RBIs usually stands for.

              • Reltzik
                Reltzik
                October 25, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

                I thought it was “Ryans Beaten Incoherent”.

            • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
              ǝ snow ʍousɐ
              October 25, 2017 at 11:52 am | #

              In case you were curious what RBI actually stands for, I believe it’s Runs Batted In. It’s a baseball term, which is fitting given the baseball bat. I may have overexplained a little there, but better safe than sorry.

              • segnosaur
                segnosaur
                October 25, 2017 at 12:01 pm | #

                Yes, RBI stands for Runs Batted In.

                For example, if you already have a runner on 2nd and 3rd base, and your team gets a hit, and the people on 2nd and 3rd manage to make it to home, then the batter is given 2 RBIs (i.e. 2 players that managed to score thanks to his hitting.)

                The purpose of the statistic is to highlight witch players can hit the ball either very far or who can better target a location to hit the ball to (which can allow more players to score on a play). If a player has a low number of RBIs, they either can’t hit the ball at all, or when they do it it it doesn’t go far (so the players can’t always advance to home.)

                Although personally I prefer the term ‘Ryans Bashed In’.

                • Makkabee
                  Makkabee
                  October 25, 2017 at 12:47 pm | #

                  Also particularly fast players and players with better than average ability to aim a hit ball where they want are usually put in a spot in the line-up where they’re likely to hit first, so that there will be men on base when the power hitters segnosaur talks about get their turn it’s more likely that they will have base-runners they can help score.

                • Inahc
                  Inahc
                  October 25, 2017 at 6:41 pm | #

                  thanks 🙂

          • Pablo360
            Pablo360
            October 25, 2017 at 12:38 am | #

            Seriously though, there are <abbr> and <acronym> tags for a reason. And I don’t know why there are two of them because at least in this setup they basically serve the same purpose.

            • Gwen
              Gwen
              October 25, 2017 at 1:48 am | #

              You could also just use google if you’re curious (hint: it’s a sportsball stat)

              • A Scientist
                A Scientist
                October 25, 2017 at 2:33 am | #

                In my opinion, an overrated sportsball stat, and on that point I care deeply.

              • Pl0x
                Pl0x
                October 25, 2017 at 7:52 am | #

                I searched it and got the Reserve Bank of India. So, eh.

            • JohnF
              JohnF
              October 25, 2017 at 2:55 am | #

              abbrev. is an abbreviation. TLA is a Three Letter Acronym.

              • Lieutenant Dan
                Lieutenant Dan
                October 25, 2017 at 6:32 am | #

                TLA is an abbreviation, not an acronym. /pedant

                • 3-I
                  3-I
                  October 25, 2017 at 6:36 am | #

                  That depends on how you pronounce it, surely.

                • Pablo360
                  Pablo360
                  October 25, 2017 at 8:55 am | #

                  Specifically it’s an initialism. Acronyms are abbreviations.

                • Reltzik
                  Reltzik
                  October 25, 2017 at 11:45 am | #

                  So what would something like the GNU operating system be? (Stands for “GNU’s Not Unix”, pronounced like the wildebeest). I feel infinite recursion needs its own category.

                • Pablo360
                  Pablo360
                  October 25, 2017 at 4:56 pm | #

                  Recursive acronyms are acronyms.

              • Jhon
                Jhon
                October 25, 2017 at 11:47 pm | #

                All the way down.

            • Inahc
              Inahc
              October 25, 2017 at 4:01 am | #

              They’re still a pain on mobile, though; my rss reader can’t show them, so I have to load a full browser with a special plugin to make them clickable. And this site is pretty hard on browsers, too.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            October 25, 2017 at 1:57 am | #

            Ey, is somebody keepin’ track of my heads batted in?”
            – Scout

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    October 25, 2017 at 12:01 am | #

    Joyce: “♪♫ Like a rock, Sarah’s strong as she could be… ♫♪”

    Jacob: “Huh, didn’t think your parents let you listen to secular rock music.”

    Joyce: “…That’s not just a truck jingle?”

    • shadowcell
      shadowcell
      October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

      cut to gratuitous slow-motion shot of Sarah splashing through a muddy lake

      • CandidCanid
        CandidCanid
        October 25, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

        I just imagine Sarah angrily rampaging through a muddy dirt road leaving behind ruts that multiple pickup trucks could easily fall into

      • Jay Eff
        Jay Eff
        October 25, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

        [lemongrab]ONE THOUSAND UPVOTES!!![/lemongrab]

      • Mr. Bulbmin
        Mr. Bulbmin
        October 25, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

        That amused me far more than it should have. Your Point count has been increased by 17!

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        October 25, 2017 at 2:04 am | #

        Then to a shot of her barely catching something heavy, then cut to something else as she starts fumbling it. (10 seconds in.)

      • Dean
        Dean
        October 25, 2017 at 2:13 am | #

        Cut to a shot of Sarah easily towing a laden trailer along a dirt road, her tyres splashing through puddles. Then to a family sitting on a hilltop overlooking the ocean, their backs resting comfortably against Sarah.

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          October 25, 2017 at 3:54 am | #

          It’s Ultra-Sarah! 🙂

        • Mortartarsaus
          Mortartarsaus
          October 25, 2017 at 11:53 pm | #

          Maybe add in a scene of Sarah hauling lumber in a snowstorm through slush puddles since they are in NoDa.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          October 26, 2017 at 4:50 pm | #

          I could easily see GMC naming it’s next truck the ‘Sarah’.

          “GMC Sarah. When the job needs to be done RIGHT.”

      • RacingTurtle
        RacingTurtle
        October 25, 2017 at 2:21 am | #

        I laughed hard and I wanted you to know that. Thanks for the hearty chuckle, Doctor_Who and shadowcell.

      • Remmington Steele
        Remmington Steele
        October 25, 2017 at 3:04 am | #

        “Breaker 1-9, we got us a convoy …”

        • Khyrin
          Khyrin
          October 25, 2017 at 8:57 am | #

          I understood that reference.

          A tape of C.W. McCall’s greatest hits was my favorite tape 6-12. then it went into rotation with two John Denver tapes until last year when we replaced the last car we owned with a tape-deck. I should transcribe those to MP3 or FLAC….

    • Ghostforge
      Ghostforge
      October 25, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

      comments like these make me wish we had an upvote function here 🙂

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        October 25, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

        Yeah, like maybe D—

        <japanese>The death of Big Pablo has been sponsored by the Willis Organization</japanese>

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      October 25, 2017 at 8:21 am | #

      For our younger and overseas friends – Bob Seger sings a truck commercial (and a hit single) from 20 years ago.
      https://youtu.be/IocCC1-jeTY

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        October 25, 2017 at 9:11 am | #

        Slight nitpick: That was thirty years ago.

        (Wow. Now I feel not-so-young, being an adult when it was new.)

  3. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    The irises don’t lie, Joyce.

  4. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    We’ve all had that moment where part 1 of our imaginary conversation actually works, and then we have to face the consequences of not having a part 2

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      October 25, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

      “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to get this far.”

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        October 25, 2017 at 12:16 am | #

        “Okay, so that’s part 1 out of the way.”

        “What’s part 2?”

        “There’s a part 2? Usually this is the part where I realize I’m naked in front of all my old classmates and am also late for the exam for a class I never took. And also my teeth are falling out.”

        • Makkabee
          Makkabee
          October 25, 2017 at 12:51 pm | #

          You have the teeth falling out dream too?

          • Pablo360
            Pablo360
            October 25, 2017 at 4:57 pm | #

            Of course not. If it did, that would mean I have stage 4 dream disease, where your dreams begin replacing your original personality bit by bit until there’s nothing of the old you left, disguising it from the host by convincing them that it’s a natural part of aging.

          • Inahc
            Inahc
            October 25, 2017 at 6:43 pm | #

            that dream is so common there’s an xkcd for it. https://xkcd.com/719/ (it’s in the alt text)

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      I usually have a part 2, but I often mess it up by jumping to the part 2 without first going through the part 1.
      I’m real bad at flirting.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        October 25, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

        “I see your dress coming off at midnight.”

        “…Excuse me?”

        “Shit! I meant to ask if you were Cinderella first, and hope you answered ‘Why?’. Can we start over?”

        • Yumi
          Yumi
          October 25, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

          “When you fell from heaven.”
          “What?”
          “…Fuck, sorry, last time.”

          • Pablo360
            Pablo360
            October 25, 2017 at 12:28 am | #

            “Can I borrow your phone?”

            “Sure, need to make a call?”

            “…shit, I messed it up”

            • ValdVin
              ValdVin
              October 25, 2017 at 12:41 am | #

              “So I could lie tangential to your curves!”

              “Huh?”

              “Oops…Let me come in again.”

              • Pablo360
                Pablo360
                October 25, 2017 at 12:47 am | #

                “Are you the only ten I see?”

                “This is getting annoying.”

                “Nonono, trust me, I got this.”

                • Woobie
                  Woobie
                  October 25, 2017 at 1:38 am | #

                  ???
                  Profit!

            • Kamino Neko
              Kamino Neko
              October 25, 2017 at 4:17 am | #

              I don’t know the setup to this one…please expand.

              • Clif
                Clif
                October 25, 2017 at 8:50 pm | #

                Which one?

                • ValdVin
                  ValdVin
                  October 26, 2017 at 3:37 am | #

                  I think Kamino was asking about the one ending

                  “Can I borrow your phone?”

                  (which I don’t know either)

                • Random832
                  Random832
                  October 27, 2017 at 9:00 am | #

                  I googled it, looks like it’s meant to be “Can I borrow your phone number” – so not exactly a missed setup line.

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      October 25, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

      “I’m like a dog chasing cars”?

  5. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    Air conditioning is a standard feature.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      Cup holders too. And a drivetrain warranty.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        October 25, 2017 at 12:47 am | #

        And ABS-assisted brakes too.

  6. Madock345
    Madock345
    October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    “She’s built like a pickup truck” could totally pass as a song lyric.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      I think Sven at QC already has that in his BMI credits.

    • desolation0
      desolation0
      October 25, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

      “Thong Song” had nearly exactly that.

      She had dumps like a truck truck truck
      Thighs like what what what
      All night long
      Let me see that thong

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        October 25, 2017 at 12:26 am | #

        I don’t think that’s quite what Joyce had in mind.

        Consciously, at any rate.

      • Ravenstromdans
        Ravenstromdans
        October 25, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

        That’s what I thought of IMMEDIATELY.

      • Paradox
        Paradox
        October 25, 2017 at 3:38 am | #

        You get it. You understand the true joy of that song being given relevance. Let us dance through the night to this classic!

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        October 25, 2017 at 4:19 am | #

        … She has…what? What kind of song is this? That’s not what they mean by scat singing!!!

  7. Shiro
    Shiro
    October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    Accustomed to loving everyone unconditionally, Joyce is unpracticed in convincing others of that love.

  8. Yumi
    Yumi
    October 25, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    Man, Joyce, did you not think it would get this far or something?

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      She was expecting him to go “Yes, absolutely! She is wonderful! I will now go join with her in holy matrimony and product eight to ten beautiful Christian babies!” Because Joyce-vision is like Pyro-vision from TF2, but with more praising Jesus.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      October 25, 2017 at 12:26 am | #

      Joyce believes in magical predestined OTP love, not love based on mutual interests or suitably complimentary qualities.

  9. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    October 25, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

    She’s not wrong

  10. Mr D
    Mr D
    October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    …Is joyce talking about Sarah’s rack? (Body language)

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      October 25, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

      How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.

      I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples….

      (Let’s face it pretty much all of the Song of Solomon is NSFW. My favorite translation-induced double entendre: “Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.”)

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        October 25, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

        Song of Solomon is pretty much Bible porn.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          October 25, 2017 at 12:27 am | #

          It’s a pleasant break from the gorn.

        • Pablo360
          Pablo360
          October 25, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

          Speaking of bible porn, did you know that the man who would become Pope Pius II wrote some pretty popular 15th-century literotica?

          • merbrat
            merbrat
            October 25, 2017 at 1:21 am | #

            Not that surprising, since there is a secret room in the vatican for inspiration!

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        October 25, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

        I never heard of it but now I gotta read it.

        All I can offer you in return is Song of India, if you like Rimsky-Korsakov and Tommy Dorsey.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      October 25, 2017 at 4:22 am | #

      Only if Sarah has really strange boobs – the gesture is supposed to be palms toward your own chest.

    • 3-I
      3-I
      October 25, 2017 at 6:38 am | #

      “Sturdy Breasts” is both an unusual compliment and a good band name.

  11. m-m
    m-m
    October 25, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Worst. Wingman. Ever. (Wing-person? Wing-folk? Wing? Winger?)

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      October 25, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

      And Abed hired and Irish singer~

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

      Which may make her more likely to do what Sarah actually wants her to do. She’s like Elan that way.

  12. Rambling Idiot
    Rambling Idiot
    October 25, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    abedeyebrowwiggle.gif

  13. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    October 25, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    *instinctively cringes on hearing the word “truck”*

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      October 25, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

      Would you prefer “lorry”?

      • Passchendaele
        Passchendaele
        October 25, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

        “pickup lorry” just doesn’t have the same strength, sadly. :p

        • JessWitt
          JessWitt
          October 25, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

          There has to be a British expression for “pickup”.

          • Achallenger
            Achallenger
            October 25, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

            I prefer ute, it’s the Aussie way

            • Pablo360
              Pablo360
              October 25, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

              I prefer “way too h*cking big”

              • Passchendaele
                Passchendaele
                October 25, 2017 at 10:18 am | #

                Compromise: way too h*cking big ute

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          October 25, 2017 at 2:14 am | #

          I thought “truck” was fine for light pickups like the Hilux, “lorry” is for HGVs and semis, and “utes” are basically station wagons with truck beds (Ford Falcon, Chevrolet El Camino, Subaru BRAT)?

          Disclaimer: I learned pretty much everything I know about non-USDM cars from Jeremy Clarkson and Edd China.

          • Bicycle Bill
            Bicycle Bill
            October 25, 2017 at 3:18 am | #

            If you can license it as a car (SUVs, minivans, conversion vans) or it’s something like a ‘crew cab’ pickup but you never carry anything except people, then it’s not a real truck — no matter what it may say on the title.

          • Merbrat
            Merbrat
            October 25, 2017 at 1:27 pm | #

            Cab with a trailer is an “articulated lorry”.

    • Remmington Steele
      Remmington Steele
      October 25, 2017 at 3:00 am | #

      At least she’s not a flat-bed semi …

      • bucket
        bucket
        October 25, 2017 at 10:12 am | #

        “It’s a girl my Lord in a flat bed Ford…”

  14. Some Random Name
    Some Random Name
    October 25, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    She didn’t plan for this.

    • Remmington Steele
      Remmington Steele
      October 25, 2017 at 3:00 am | #

      NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

      • Abel Undercity
        Abel Undercity
        October 25, 2017 at 6:16 am | #

        Our weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear! Our two weapons! Surprise, fear, and separating our food into little piles. Three. Our three weapons.

        … We’ll do it again.

  15. Nono
    Nono
    October 25, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    I mean, she’ll defend you with a bat, hide potentially triggering pieces of clothing, get your best friend’s evil dad’s car towed, wake you up on Sunday so you won’t miss church, dress you, and help spray your best friend and her loser boyfriend out of your bed before they make with the sex.

    That’s a pretty good portfolio.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      October 25, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

      “She’s loyal and protective (once you convince her that you’re friends anyway), resourceful, helpful, and she’s always got your back when you need her”

      There, I translated it!

      • StClair
        StClair
        October 25, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

        Joyce is trying to sell her as good girlfriend material, not one of the Elements of Harmony.

        • CoMa
          CoMa
          October 25, 2017 at 3:45 am | #

          Yeah, put simply describing Sarah’s positive traits from her point of view may at least give Jacob something to think about. He wants to know why Joyce thinks so highly of Sarah, so an answer like this wouldn’t be horrible.

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          October 25, 2017 at 3:45 am | #

          Harmony makes for good relationships.

        • Shiro
          Shiro
          October 25, 2017 at 5:54 am | #

          Dammit, now I can’t not read my own comment in Twilight Sparkle’s voice

  16. Irredentist
    Irredentist
    October 25, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Tell him about the time she saved your life. That would probably work.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

      But that doesn’t fit into the fundamentalist idea of romance, so she can’t bring that up!

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 25, 2017 at 7:20 am | #

        And besides, that would mean talking about her near rape and she’s not going to do that lightly.

  17. Yumi
    Yumi
    October 25, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    “Sturdy” kind of is a good descriptor for some of what Joyce gets from Sarah. Her elaboration wasn’t exactly helpful, and she’s probably not playing to her audience but…Sarah is kind of sturdy.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      October 25, 2017 at 3:28 am | #

      When does she start to talk about things like ‘child-bearing hips’?

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 25, 2017 at 7:22 am | #

        In pretty much any culture before modern medicine and effective contraception, “less chance of dying in childbirth” is a pretty important factor.

  18. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    October 25, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    Joyce isn’t gonna tell him about Sarah and Old Testament*? It is compelling to save someone who’s been drugged from being raped. Or is that too raw a thing for Joyce to talk about, which I’d completely understand.

    (*That is the name of the baseball bat, isn’t it?)

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

      It’s also too specific and meaningful to fit Joyce’s fundie preconceptions about luuuuuuuv.

  19. Blender
    Blender
    October 25, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    She’s perfect if you need to barricade your front door.

  20. Well_Played
    Well_Played
    October 25, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

    Swing and a miss

  21. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    October 25, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    TIL the archive link from the previous comment doesn’t start working as soon as a new comic is posted.

    I really should have intuited that (I’m a comp sci major, I should understand how computers work on a basic level) but I never quite put it together.

  22. Keulen
    Keulen
    October 25, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

    Sarah’s pretty good with a baseball bat, as long as her target is a rapist asshole.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:25 am | #

      No data exists on her skill at actual baseball.

      • adjudicus
        adjudicus
        October 25, 2017 at 2:23 am | #

        *Sarah swings the bat*
        “Strike one!”
        *Sarah swings it again*
        “Strike two!”
        *Joyce calling from the bleachers* “Sarah, imagine that ball is Ryan’s face!”
        *KAPOW*

        • StClair
          StClair
          October 25, 2017 at 4:28 am | #

          And now the air is shattered by the force of Sarah’s blow…

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            October 25, 2017 at 8:55 am | #

            Okay, that’s…just too good for this world.

          • DSL
            DSL
            October 25, 2017 at 9:09 am | #

            … Mighty Sarah has struck out.

            • Pablo360
              Pablo360
              October 25, 2017 at 9:58 am | #

              That is probably how Willis would write it.

  23. Conuly
    Conuly
    October 25, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

    Sarah is loyal, even to people who annoy her. She tries hard to be a better person than she is. She does the things she thinks is right, even though it doesn’t make her happy.

    Also, she saved me from being raped, and helped me afterwards.

    There. Was that so hard?

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:37 am | #

      If Joyce admits to herself that those are qualities Jacob would find romantically appealing, she would be admitting to herself that he might find her romantically appealing.

  24. some guy
    some guy
    October 25, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

    Sarah: The reliable truck brand, tough it out with Sarah

  25. Beef
    Beef
    October 25, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

    Oh no. Is this going to end with Joyce finding out about the Joyce stories?

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:23 am | #

      …shit, I hadn’t thought of that

    • CoMa
      CoMa
      October 25, 2017 at 3:50 am | #

      Joyce stories?

      • Benjamin
        Benjamin
        October 25, 2017 at 4:39 am | #

        Sarah wasn’t very good at having conversations with Jacob originally – unless she was telling a story about Joyce. This comic highlights that.

        • CoMa
          CoMa
          October 25, 2017 at 4:19 pm | #

          Ah, I remember! Thanks for the link too, helped a lot to sort through my memory 🙂

    • Jason
      Jason
      October 25, 2017 at 7:39 am | #

      I doubt it? So far Jacob seems to have tact and delicacy- or at the very least a good head on his shoulders. He’s been known to talk about stuff that wasn’t his place before (once), but just look at how he handled that- he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to be all “oh yeah she totally shit-talks you behind your back”.
      Maybe casually mentioning that Sarah’s talked about her, and then being careful how he follows it up if/when Joyce gets curious.

  26. Lapin
    Lapin
    October 25, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

    Not sure “She once beat the hell out of my almost-rapist with a baseball bat before bruising his ribs under her shoe” is a point Joyce is willing to sell, much less one Jacob is willing to buy.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

      Jacob’s favorite thing about Joyce is the time she punched Toedad. He would buy that hook, line, and mixed metaphor.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        October 25, 2017 at 1:11 am | #

        AND she towed ToeDad’s car to save Becky.

        • Gwen
          Gwen
          October 25, 2017 at 1:53 am | #

          (And to cause Maggie to rename him “tow dad,” triggering a second Willis wedding)

  27. Achallenger
    Achallenger
    October 25, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

    “she’ll always go to bat for a friend?”

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:25 am | #

      Sure, she can be batty, but she’ll always swing your way.

  28. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    October 25, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

    I’m surprised Joyce is blanking out on Sarah’s heroism from the party. But then again, she would prefer not to remember that night.

    • Lingo
      Lingo
      October 25, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

      She may actually not remember much of it herself.

      • JessWitt
        JessWitt
        October 25, 2017 at 1:11 am | #

        That too.

        • Jason
          Jason
          October 25, 2017 at 7:42 am | #

          She knows what happened, though. But as others have noted, given the trauma involved, she’s not going to immediately talk about it as soon as it’s vaguely relevant. She’s probably going to avoid talking about it even when it’s extremely relevant. (Which is fine by the way, as long as it’s not lifelong avoidance there’s nothing wrong with her healing in her own time.)

  29. Vi
    Vi
    October 25, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    I mean, even if Joyce isn’t talking specifically about Sarah’s party heroics, Sarah has been a good friend to her in a few ways, despite her pessimism and general issues. Like, Sarah isn’t a perfect person by any means, but she really does seem to care about Joyce.

  30. Steve C
    Steve C
    October 25, 2017 at 12:26 am | #

    Not sure if this means Sarah et. al.’s True Plan isn’t working at all or working better than hoped. (I’m leaning towards B.)

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      October 25, 2017 at 12:52 am | #

      But what if Jacob says, “Speak for yourself, Joyce Brown.”?

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      October 25, 2017 at 2:33 am | #

      That’s also what I came to say.

      I feel like the next strip is going to be Jacob going, “Wow. Sarah has no redeeming qualities and you’re still terribly happy about her as a roommate? You’re kinda special.”

  31. PlainMarie
    PlainMarie
    October 25, 2017 at 12:28 am | #

    Hey! I was trying to go to sleep over here and I am now being severely distracted by way too many giggles from this one. Sincerely LOLing.

  32. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    October 25, 2017 at 12:30 am | #

    In response to something like a third of the commentators, NO, Joyce isn’t going to make the connection that Jacob might have the hots for Sarah if he heard about her justified assault and bat-tery.

    For Joyce to make that connection based on the hints that Jacob’s dropped about how much he admires Joyce, Joyce would FIRST have to realize that he’s got the hots for Joyce.

    And that ain’t happening.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:35 am | #

      Not to mention it doesn’t fit the fundie romantic narrative that Joyce is still heavily invested in.

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        October 25, 2017 at 1:14 am | #

        Heroic rescues are very romantic. I’m pretty sure that even though traditionally it’s “supposed” to be the guy that’s being heroic, Joyce has grown enough that she’d still see that, especially since she’s not shopping for herself here.

        If it occurred to her, then it’s more likely she isn’t mentioning it because she doesn’t want to talk about that particular act of heroism because it might lead to questions about the event she was being rescued from.

        What I think is most likely is that too much of her brain is occupied thinking about Jacob’s arms to think quickly

        • Pablo360
          Pablo360
          October 25, 2017 at 8:58 am | #

          Oh, I’m not saying heroic rescues aren’t romantic. I’m just saying they aren’t the kind of romance Joyce was raised to believe in. She’s still interested in something a bit more prosaic and cotidiano.

  33. Inahc
    Inahc
    October 25, 2017 at 12:34 am | #

    people keep mentioning trucks, but my first thought was the MASH episode where Major Houlihan is called ‘sturdy’.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      October 25, 2017 at 1:32 am | #

      …well, I’m not confused about the truck thing any more. somehow I forgot the last panel existed.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 25, 2017 at 2:26 am | #

      What about Sidney Freedman’s voiceover description of her in Dear Sigmund?

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        October 25, 2017 at 6:34 pm | #

        I don’t remember that one… :/ and I don’t know where I could get it now… omg! archive.org seems to have it! 😀

        • Inahc
          Inahc
          October 25, 2017 at 6:36 pm | #

          …nevvermind, it’s dubbed in… like… russian or something? :/

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            October 25, 2017 at 8:13 pm | #

            I’d have to dig the DVD up, but it’s something like “calm and collected on the surface, but underneath there’s seven kinds of passion searching for an outlet”. Then he’s interviewing her in The Swamp about how she stays calm and never gets upset, to which she replies that she’s got to be strong for the sake of the nurses under her command. Then she starts berating him for “parading” an athletic supporter around in front of her, even though it was lying on a cot across the tent and wasn’t even his, and he probably didn’t even notice it until then. She gets even angrier, because “those lecherous, drunken cretins” must have left it there, and finally screams at him to put his hat on it. He does, then she’s back to being outwardly calm and collected again, like a switch was flipped.

            I see some of that “‘I’m not upset’, she seethed” behavior in Sarah.

            • Inahc
              Inahc
              October 25, 2017 at 9:03 pm | #

              haha, kinda reminds me of Sapphire and Garnet. 🙂 although the way they show that stuff in mash has a lot of sexist undertones. (I do like how much the show improved over time wrt, though)

              also reminds me of when Houlihan’s talking to some not-quite-boyfriend who keeps pushing her to be more wife-y, and she talks about how there’s essentially three people inside her (the woman, the nurse and the major iirc).

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            October 25, 2017 at 8:19 pm | #

            It’s out there in English, but it’s also the episode where Klinger only speaks in Arabic as a discharge ploy. Season 5 Episode 8, about 13:15 in.

            • Inahc
              Inahc
              October 25, 2017 at 9:06 pm | #

              apparently there’s a way to get the english audio if you download the right version of the episode and fiddle with it, but, that sounds like more effort than I want to put in today. (and I’d rather do such things in linux)

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 26, 2017 at 4:58 pm | #

      Love this thread, if only for the prevalence of Dina gravs.

  34. Tacos
    Tacos
    October 25, 2017 at 12:41 am | #

    Is Joyce gonna continue describing Sarah like different vehicles?

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 12:48 am | #

      They’re good vehicles Tostadas

  35. @zombieundergrnd
    @zombieundergrnd
    October 25, 2017 at 12:50 am | #

    I’m already in a relationship, but yeah, go ahead and sell me on this other girl.
    And hey, while we’re on the subject, what are you doing next Saturday night?

    • Carms
      Carms
      October 25, 2017 at 2:13 am | #

      cos that’s THE ONLY interpersonal relationship stright men and women can have.
      And Bi/pan ppl don’t have friends at all- only prey.

      Look that comment reveals more than I need to know about you. More than anyone outside of your meatspace need to kow aobut you.
      your meatspace ppl, however, definitely need to know that about you. “this one, if they’re trying to be friends with you, they want sex”

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        October 25, 2017 at 3:42 am | #

        Uh, I think you might be making some assumptions there?

        • Jason
          Jason
          October 25, 2017 at 7:48 am | #

          People can react strongly to BS that they see (or experience) regularly, and the assumption that people can’t be friends with the gender they’re attracted to is a common one. Since it seems like that was what zombie was getting at I don’t blame Carms for their reaction.

          • bleepbloop
            bleepbloop
            October 25, 2017 at 3:50 pm | #

            I agree with Inahc. I took what zombie was saying to mean “sure, sell me on this other girl (which is exactly what Jacob said) while I’d rather know more about you (in a romantic context, yeah, but lbr thats kinda where this thing between joyce and jacob is heading towards, even if feelings on jacob’s part might not be as requited)”. I don’t think zombie was implying Jacob only sees women (in this case Sarah or Joyce) as potential sex partners. I think for Carms to admit to assuming so much about zombie from a joke about Jacob liking Joyce (of which there are a lot in these comments sections) is a little extra, but I can see where that reaction would come from, especially since it is such a common (and annoying) misconception.

  36. Jason
    Jason
    October 25, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

    I really hope we see some unexpected honesty and vulnerability from Joyce, giving Jacob better insight into the characters of both her and Sarah. But we will see!

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      October 25, 2017 at 4:10 am | #

      Tomorrow’s preview panel shows an awkward-looking Joyce, so I’m looking forward to it.

      • Jason
        Jason
        October 25, 2017 at 7:45 am | #

        I think awkwardness was pretty high on the likelyometre! But I’m definitely looking forward to seeing it too, I like this arc.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        October 25, 2017 at 7:48 am | #

        Prediction: Jacob rains compliments on Joyce, leaving her lost for words.

  37. Bagge
    Bagge
    October 25, 2017 at 12:58 am | #

    That’s the international gesture for “sturdy”

    • Clif
      Clif
      October 25, 2017 at 1:29 am | #

      I thought it was the international gesture for vast tracks of land.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        October 25, 2017 at 3:02 pm | #

        Just as long as there is no singing.

      • PlainMarie
        PlainMarie
        October 25, 2017 at 4:53 pm | #

        A+

  38. Arianod
    Arianod
    October 25, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

    I’m gonna go and guess that “stands firm in harsh winds” is another fundamentalist prayer thing.

    • Briny
      Briny
      October 25, 2017 at 1:06 am | #

      Googling the phrase only gives me this very comic. (INCEPTION NOISE.)

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      October 25, 2017 at 1:16 am | #

      I don’t know for sure, but Willis is pretty good at coming up with original dialog that sounds like it came straight out of the Old Testament. Remember “I choose to wear the tattered flesh of my vanquished enemies”?

      • Arianod
        Arianod
        October 25, 2017 at 6:49 pm | #

        Actually, that one sounded more like a Khorne worshipper than a fundamentalist christian.

    • 3-I
      3-I
      October 25, 2017 at 6:43 am | #

      “Doesn’t Fall Over When Farted On” didn’t play well with the fundamentalist church.

  39. Victor Riley
    Victor Riley
    October 25, 2017 at 1:26 am | #

    “She got them good birthin’ hips… and, uh… she likes you… so perfect match, right?”

    • 3-I
      3-I
      October 25, 2017 at 6:44 am | #

      “Plus she already named her premarital solo marital aid after you.”

    • Shadow Eagle
      Shadow Eagle
      October 25, 2017 at 7:30 am | #

      HAHAHAHAH birthing hips…..

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        October 25, 2017 at 9:00 am | #

        I honestly can’t decide whether or not fundie culture would unironically use the term “birthing hips” as a selling point. It’s sufficiently superficial, but it’s also a little on the evolution-y side.

        • Tan
          Tan
          October 25, 2017 at 1:22 pm | #

          Intelligently-designed birthing hips, of course. It shows she has God’s favor.

          • Pablo360
            Pablo360
            October 25, 2017 at 4:58 pm | #

            …oh god that does sound like something they’d say.

  40. insomniac
    insomniac
    October 25, 2017 at 1:39 am | #

    Like a pickup truck, Joyce?

    Or a brick?

    house?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      October 25, 2017 at 2:56 am | #

      Never understood how being built like a brick shithouse can be considered an attractive feature.

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        October 25, 2017 at 4:40 am | #

        You can hide behind such a person while a hurricane is throwing things around and you’ll be perfectly safe.

      • 3-I
        3-I
        October 25, 2017 at 6:44 am | #

        Well, I mean, they’re… mighty mighty.

      • McBogue
        McBogue
        October 25, 2017 at 1:28 pm | #

        I believe the original term was “stacked like a brick house”, but has suffered from some linguistic drift over the years.

        Kind of like how the adage “the proof of the pudding is in the tasting” morphed into the rather nonsensical “the proof is in the pudding”.

        • Bill M.
          Bill M.
          October 25, 2017 at 2:31 pm | #

          Well, “The proof is in the pudding” did get some drift from when the British would soak their figgy pudding in alcohol. Alcohol strength is rated by proof (for example 17% alcohol by volume becomes 34 proof), so literally the proof was in the pudding, but you could only test the proof of the pudding by tasting it.

          • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
            BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
            October 25, 2017 at 10:49 pm | #

            Or trying to set it on fire

  41. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 25, 2017 at 2:06 am | #

    “Study” is a good word for Sarah and it is especially true on the emotional and mental level. For all her weaknesses (that are manifold), you can always rely on Sarah to be there and to have your back. She has a strength of will that many lack.

  42. Carms
    Carms
    October 25, 2017 at 2:11 am | #

    She’s pricklier than a porcupine but she always has my back. even when her caution is caustic. and she acts out her back-having, she follows through, And her follow throughs are BRUTAL.

  43. RacingTurtle
    RacingTurtle
    October 25, 2017 at 2:19 am | #

    oh dear

  44. Wright
    Wright
    October 25, 2017 at 2:30 am | #

    In my head canon, there is a version of Sarah in an alternate universe who hit ol’ Gashface not with a bat, but with a pickup truck.

    … indoors.

    Yeah, in this alternate dimension Willis started kicking up the action long before Toedad’s appearance.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      October 25, 2017 at 4:08 am | #

      See, a character with the power to fit cars into any space would be an amazing addition to a superhero story.

      Because of course they’d be the last resort the Good Guys use, and they would all be really vague about what the character’s power is. Then things get bad enough, the heroes are cornered by the villains, when suddenly

      CAR

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 25, 2017 at 7:31 am | #

        Ultra Car can’t fit through the stock room doors, but Spider-Car can.

      • Jason
        Jason
        October 25, 2017 at 7:51 am | #

        That made me chuckle!

      • StClair
        StClair
        October 25, 2017 at 3:05 pm | #

        I’ve recently begun using “suddenly, BEAR” in a similar context. 🙂

      • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
        BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
        October 25, 2017 at 10:47 pm | #

        So… like a reverse clown?

    • 3-I
      3-I
      October 25, 2017 at 6:45 am | #

      In some universe, Sarah was Ultra Car.

  45. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    October 25, 2017 at 2:32 am | #

    [gets a mental of loin-cloth wearing barbarian Sarah standing upon the hill made of her beaten enemies, holding her bat like a sword with equally dishevelled Jacob clinging to her leg]
    Yey

    • Zaxares
      Zaxares
      October 25, 2017 at 7:33 am | #

      “Sarah! What is best in life?!”

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        October 25, 2017 at 7:41 am | #

        To crush Raidah, Drive her before me And hear Jacob’s aroused gasps!”

  46. acher4
    acher4
    October 25, 2017 at 2:46 am | #

    Omg!
    I rofled so hard on the last line. :DDDDD

  47. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    October 25, 2017 at 2:53 am | #

    Last panel : *honk honk*

  48. Remmington Steele
    Remmington Steele
    October 25, 2017 at 3:01 am | #

    That was mean, Jake. Asking her straight out like that.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      October 25, 2017 at 3:42 am | #

      He does have a tendency to put people on the spot sometimes. I get the vibe of someone who has seen to much drama and makes a conscious effort to avoid it.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/effort-2/

      • hof1991
        hof1991
        October 25, 2017 at 8:18 am | #

        He’s going to be a good cross examiner.

      • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
        ǝ snow ʍousɐ
        October 25, 2017 at 8:42 pm | #

        He’s very direct. And charismatic, so his directness comes off as candor, but it can put you on the spot, especially if you don’t have great self-esteem. He does try to make sure you’re comfortable, as we saw in the previous strip, so I think he’s somewhat aware that he can have this effect on people.

    • Emily
      Emily
      October 25, 2017 at 4:17 pm | #

      Seriously, Joyce is doing markedly better than I would in this kind of situation. If someone asks me point blank to talk about something I promptly forget everything I know about the subject.

      • Inahc
        Inahc
        October 25, 2017 at 6:39 pm | #

        me too.

  49. Liliet
    Liliet
    October 25, 2017 at 4:42 am | #

    Ahahah Joyce did not think this through before starting.

    But yeah, that’s a good start. Sarah is reliable, that’s a wonderful thing about her.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 9:03 am | #

      Sarah is built Ford tough.

  50. Tarnish
    Tarnish
    October 25, 2017 at 5:02 am | #

    She’s a bongo, Joyce, though of course you can’t say it. Once you realize someone can be a bongo and still be a good person, you might say it, though.

  51. FacelessDeviant
    FacelessDeviant
    October 25, 2017 at 5:09 am | #

    Is this a “junk in the trunk” thing?

  52. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    October 25, 2017 at 8:04 am | #

    She can’t exactly bring up the Old Testament God, but Sarah was there for her when she really needed someone http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/oldtestament/

    • Vulcanodon
      Vulcanodon
      October 25, 2017 at 8:05 am | #

      …or Big Sister http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/sisters-2/

  53. foducool
    foducool
    October 25, 2017 at 8:08 am | #

    wingman of the year lmao
    (or is it wingwoman in that case?)

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      October 25, 2017 at 9:02 am | #

      I believe the gender-neutral term is “pegasus”.

      • Shariku
        Shariku
        October 25, 2017 at 1:26 pm | #

        I am happy to be a WingPegasus.

  54. Ryek Hvek
    Ryek Hvek
    October 25, 2017 at 8:28 am | #

    “She’s Batman.”

    • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
      BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
      October 25, 2017 at 10:43 pm | #

      That was never proven.

  55. Guest42
    Guest42
    October 25, 2017 at 8:42 am | #

    She’s straightforward, honest, and does genuinely care about people to a point it makes her cagey and afraid to get hurt. Also quite intelligent.

    This isn’t hard, Joyce.

    • bleepbloop
      bleepbloop
      October 25, 2017 at 3:31 pm | #

      Thank you. I’m tired of people acting like Sarah is just this constantly grumpy awful grouch with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 25, 2017 at 6:33 pm | #

        Exactly. She’s a constantly grumpy awful grouch with many redeeming qualities.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      October 25, 2017 at 6:40 pm | #

      uh, yes it *is* hard. 😛

  56. prime_pm
    prime_pm
    October 25, 2017 at 9:50 am | #

    “You can fit four.”

  57. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    October 25, 2017 at 10:09 am | #

    “She beat up a would-be rapist with a baseball bat” would be my go-to, but I can understand why Joyce doesn’t want to talk about that. Sarah’s cool.

  58. Gravatarnator
    Gravatarnator
    October 25, 2017 at 10:17 am | #

    haha. That moment when you have to name your friends good points to their crush, but all you can think of is the less than flattering things. We’ve all been there…

  59. CJ
    CJ
    October 25, 2017 at 1:32 pm | #

    Considering Sarah and Jacob bonded over Joyce’s idiosyncrasies and Sarah didn’t know anything else to talk about with him and that’s basicly why Sarah encouraged him to stop talking to her, that’s a loaded question.

    What does she think about this roommate of hers who laughed about her behind her back? Jacob doesn’t know about bat-swinging Sarah to the rescue.
    So Joyce promoting her good qualities must seem strange to him.
    And naturally her opening lead from the frying pan right into the fire.

  60. Axel
    Axel
    October 25, 2017 at 1:32 pm | #

    Me trying to compliment my friends, who I love, without just saying “you’re cool”

  61. Proto
    Proto
    October 25, 2017 at 1:57 pm | #

    Her love for you is like a truck BERSERKER

    • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
      ǝ snow ʍousɐ
      October 25, 2017 at 8:36 pm | #

      Is that a song?

      *fails to get reference because he lives under a rock*

  62. PapayaPunkPixie
    PapayaPunkPixie
    October 25, 2017 at 2:43 pm | #

    My love for you is like a truck…. beserker

    • Eldritch Gentleman
      Eldritch Gentleman
      October 25, 2017 at 3:27 pm | #

      Joyce summoning Sarah the Berserker who can transform into CarSarah?

  63. Smooti
    Smooti
    October 25, 2017 at 3:25 pm | #

    I can’t tell if Jacob’s eyes are slowly getting bigger, or if Joyce having dot eyes in this comic are making his dot eyes seem big by comparison.

  64. Solenoid
    Solenoid
    October 25, 2017 at 5:30 pm | #

    Joyce in this strip is reminding me a lot of Girls With Slingshots

  65. ǝ snow ʍousɐ
    ǝ snow ʍousɐ
    October 25, 2017 at 8:34 pm | #

    She’s nice. Well… maybe “nice” isn’t the right word. She’s very protective!

  66. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
    BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
    October 25, 2017 at 10:42 pm | #

    Please stop helping, Joyce. Just… stop.

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