Gags and goofs about videogames and the things that happen in them.
Laws and Sausages
Zach Weinersmith
Your cartoon guide to the American governement!
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Parisa
Ellen K
Two friends, Nolan and Gwen, take it upon themselves to escort the amnesiac spirit Lelief across the world of Parisa.
Witchy
Ariel Slamet Ries
In the witch kingdom Hyalin, the strength of your magic is determined by the length of your hair.
Never Satisfied
Taylor Robin
Lucy Marlowe, a magician's apprentice, competes against other apprentices for an important, magical, Goverment Job.
Jailbird
Charlie Davis
An all-ages comic about a recently escaped prisoner's struggle to understand the outside world, and vice-versa. Also, a magic cape!
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
Awaken
Koti Saavedra/Flipfloppery
Superpowers, monsters and conspiracies. Piras, the spoiled Dameschi heir, fights to recover his identity after becoming a terrorist!
Phantomarine
Claire K. Niebergall
A ghostly princess must sail across a haunted sea to save her soul from a devious, shapeshifting death god known as the Red Tide King.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Starhammer
J.N. Monk, Harry Bogosian
A teen girl inherits a powerful alien artifact and proceeds to make a series of increasingly poor decisions
Devil's Candy
Rem, Bikkuri
A lush fantasy about boy genius Kazu Decker, the girl he constructed for his 9th grade science project, and the world of devils and monsters they live in.
The Mash
L.F. Garcia, Danigami
In a world shrouded in mystery and threatened by great evil,a young mummy prince will use his new life to unite with other monster children to save it.
The Din
Karin (Karrey)
The Din changed the world, mankind & its technology. Gregg Emilio dreams of flying in a sky that hasn't carried airplanes in a century.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Tiger, Tiger
Petra Nordlund
A young noble lady steals her brother's identity and his ship to find love and adventure, and to write a book about the fascinating life cycle of sea sponges!
The Glass Scientists
Sage (S.H.) Cotugno
A gaslamp fantasy comic about the life and times of a ragtag group of mad scientists and their enigmatic leader, Dr. Henry Jekyll.
Novae
KaiJu
A historical romance with a touch magic and a dash of astronomy. It chronicles the romantic adventures of Sulvain, a sweet tempered necromancer and Raziol, a passionate 17th century astronomer.
Anarchy Dreamers
Emily Ree
Sparkly undead kids fight society's worst Nightmares in this pastel-punk urban fantasy coming-of-age!
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
Tove
Severin
The end of the world is coming, and Tove doesn't want to be a hero, but SOMEONE has to look after her little brother.
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
Sufficiently Remarkable
Maki Naro
Two young women living in Brooklyn discover that you're always coming of age.
Little Red & Wolf
Aoi Maneki
Delve into the daily lives of two famous fairytale characters, and their adventures in this big weird world we all live in.
The Sanity Circus
Windy
Magic, monsters and mysteries await in the odd city of Sanity. It's up to Attley and a colorful group of characters to find out just what is going on.
Ozzie the Vampire
Eric Lide
Ozzie and her best friend Kimmy are your average everyday normal art students – except one is an immortal vampire with superpowers and the other possesses a magic talking grimoire. Also they have to save their town from a demonic invasion.
MASKLESS
kickingshoes
In a world where people can wield the magic of elemental Masks, all Ashe wants to do is help. Maskless and useless, with dreams of fire and smoke on the back of his tongue, he finds himself on a strange, dangerous path to uncovering the secrets of these incredible objects, and the source of the monsters plaguing his home.
Helvetica
J.N. Wiedle
This story follows Helvetica's quest to uncover who he was in life, his existential crises, and his struggle to to make death worth living.
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
Ghost Junk Sickness
Studio CARTRIDGE, Laura Lee
Two hunters try to survive and end up being pushed to pursue a deadly bounty dubbed "The Ghost".
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Go Get a Roomie
Clover
Experience the queer journey of an upbeat hippie and the friendships she makes along the way! A tale of self-discovery and love of many forms.
El Goonish Shive
Dan Shive
WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Wychwood
Varethane
When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
Demon Street
Aliza Layne
Two kids explore a world full of monsters and magic trying to find their way home again. But when home has been stolen from you, where do you go to get it back?
Speak of the Devil
Moz (M) Lee Lunsford
The rich and powerful of the city are quickly learning... mess with those who have nothing, and Sunday Blackburn shall appear.
No Need for Bushido
Suburban Samurai, J W Kovell
The flash of a blade, the clash of steel! A runaway princess and her samurai companion navigate a fractured country on the brink of war.
Monster Pulse
Magnolia Porter Siddell
Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
The Hunter of Insania
Aoi Maneki
Wiol Alkko sells fake magical objects to those desperate for cures. When he tries to scam a real witch, she curses him: within a year, Wiol must learn and respect magic, or succumb to corruption of body and mind.
Spinnerette
Krazy Krow, Rocio Zucchi, Pablo Rey
When a lab accident gives Heather Brown spider powers and six arms, she does what any midwest comic geek would do: Become Ohio's #3 superhero!
Manly Guys Doing Manly Things
Kelly Turnbull
A weekly comic celebrating the finer things in life. Like manly men, lumberjacks, and time traveling special ops agents.
Nix of Nothing
Moz (M) Lee Lunsford
The machinations of higher gods have stepped in and ruined Nix's, Demigod of Nothing, plans for an easygoing life. Now they must journey far and wide, meeting friend and foe, trying to get this divine target off their back!
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Elephant Town
Danielle Corsetto
The long, slow tale of Kris, Paul, Berto and Mirando, four people who live in the same creaky old house, but don't know each other. New chapter updates every 2 months.
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Peritale
Mari Costa
A fairy godmother with no magic tries her best to successfully fulfill a Fairytale and win the respect of her peers.
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Am I remembering correctly that one of Jake’s pluses for Joyce was “she totally punched a kidnapper in the face”? So y’never know, he might be impressed!
In case you were curious what RBI actually stands for, I believe it’s Runs Batted In. It’s a baseball term, which is fitting given the baseball bat. I may have overexplained a little there, but better safe than sorry.
For example, if you already have a runner on 2nd and 3rd base, and your team gets a hit, and the people on 2nd and 3rd manage to make it to home, then the batter is given 2 RBIs (i.e. 2 players that managed to score thanks to his hitting.)
The purpose of the statistic is to highlight witch players can hit the ball either very far or who can better target a location to hit the ball to (which can allow more players to score on a play). If a player has a low number of RBIs, they either can’t hit the ball at all, or when they do it it it doesn’t go far (so the players can’t always advance to home.)
Although personally I prefer the term ‘Ryans Bashed In’.
Also particularly fast players and players with better than average ability to aim a hit ball where they want are usually put in a spot in the line-up where they’re likely to hit first, so that there will be men on base when the power hitters segnosaur talks about get their turn it’s more likely that they will have base-runners they can help score.
Seriously though, there are <abbr> and <acronym> tags for a reason. And I don’t know why there are two of them because at least in this setup they basically serve the same purpose.
So what would something like the GNU operating system be? (Stands for “GNU’s Not Unix”, pronounced like the wildebeest). I feel infinite recursion needs its own category.
They’re still a pain on mobile, though; my rss reader can’t show them, so I have to load a full browser with a special plugin to make them clickable. And this site is pretty hard on browsers, too.
Cut to a shot of Sarah easily towing a laden trailer along a dirt road, her tyres splashing through puddles. Then to a family sitting on a hilltop overlooking the ocean, their backs resting comfortably against Sarah.
A tape of C.W. McCall’s greatest hits was my favorite tape 6-12. then it went into rotation with two John Denver tapes until last year when we replaced the last car we owned with a tape-deck. I should transcribe those to MP3 or FLAC….
“There’s a part 2? Usually this is the part where I realize I’m naked in front of all my old classmates and am also late for the exam for a class I never took. And also my teeth are falling out.”
Of course not. If it did, that would mean I have stage 4 dream disease, where your dreams begin replacing your original personality bit by bit until there’s nothing of the old you left, disguising it from the host by convincing them that it’s a natural part of aging.
She was expecting him to go “Yes, absolutely! She is wonderful! I will now go join with her in holy matrimony and product eight to ten beautiful Christian babies!” Because Joyce-vision is like Pyro-vision from TF2, but with more praising Jesus.
How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples….
(Let’s face it pretty much all of the Song of Solomon is NSFW. My favorite translation-induced double entendre: “Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.”)
I thought “truck” was fine for light pickups like the Hilux, “lorry” is for HGVs and semis, and “utes” are basically station wagons with truck beds (Ford Falcon, Chevrolet El Camino, Subaru BRAT)?
Disclaimer: I learned pretty much everything I know about non-USDM cars from Jeremy Clarkson and Edd China.
If you can license it as a car (SUVs, minivans, conversion vans) or it’s something like a ‘crew cab’ pickup but you never carry anything except people, then it’s not a real truck — no matter what it may say on the title.
I mean, she’ll defend you with a bat, hide potentially triggering pieces of clothing, get your best friend’s evil dad’s car towed, wake you up on Sunday so you won’t miss church, dress you, and help spray your best friend and her loser boyfriend out of your bed before they make with the sex.
“She’s loyal and protective (once you convince her that you’re friends anyway), resourceful, helpful, and she’s always got your back when you need her”
Yeah, put simply describing Sarah’s positive traits from her point of view may at least give Jacob something to think about. He wants to know why Joyce thinks so highly of Sarah, so an answer like this wouldn’t be horrible.
“Sturdy” kind of is a good descriptor for some of what Joyce gets from Sarah. Her elaboration wasn’t exactly helpful, and she’s probably not playing to her audience but…Sarah is kind of sturdy.
Joyce isn’t gonna tell him about Sarah and Old Testament*? It is compelling to save someone who’s been drugged from being raped. Or is that too raw a thing for Joyce to talk about, which I’d completely understand.
(*That is the name of the baseball bat, isn’t it?)
*Sarah swings the bat*
“Strike one!”
*Sarah swings it again*
“Strike two!”
*Joyce calling from the bleachers* “Sarah, imagine that ball is Ryan’s face!”
*KAPOW*
Sarah is loyal, even to people who annoy her. She tries hard to be a better person than she is. She does the things she thinks is right, even though it doesn’t make her happy.
Also, she saved me from being raped, and helped me afterwards.
If Joyce admits to herself that those are qualities Jacob would find romantically appealing, she would be admitting to herself that he might find her romantically appealing.
I doubt it? So far Jacob seems to have tact and delicacy- or at the very least a good head on his shoulders. He’s been known to talk about stuff that wasn’t his place before (once), but just look at how he handled that- he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to be all “oh yeah she totally shit-talks you behind your back”.
Maybe casually mentioning that Sarah’s talked about her, and then being careful how he follows it up if/when Joyce gets curious.
Not sure “She once beat the hell out of my almost-rapist with a baseball bat before bruising his ribs under her shoe” is a point Joyce is willing to sell, much less one Jacob is willing to buy.
She knows what happened, though. But as others have noted, given the trauma involved, she’s not going to immediately talk about it as soon as it’s vaguely relevant. She’s probably going to avoid talking about it even when it’s extremely relevant. (Which is fine by the way, as long as it’s not lifelong avoidance there’s nothing wrong with her healing in her own time.)
I mean, even if Joyce isn’t talking specifically about Sarah’s party heroics, Sarah has been a good friend to her in a few ways, despite her pessimism and general issues. Like, Sarah isn’t a perfect person by any means, but she really does seem to care about Joyce.
I feel like the next strip is going to be Jacob going, “Wow. Sarah has no redeeming qualities and you’re still terribly happy about her as a roommate? You’re kinda special.”
In response to something like a third of the commentators, NO, Joyce isn’t going to make the connection that Jacob might have the hots for Sarah if he heard about her justified assault and bat-tery.
For Joyce to make that connection based on the hints that Jacob’s dropped about how much he admires Joyce, Joyce would FIRST have to realize that he’s got the hots for Joyce.
Heroic rescues are very romantic. I’m pretty sure that even though traditionally it’s “supposed” to be the guy that’s being heroic, Joyce has grown enough that she’d still see that, especially since she’s not shopping for herself here.
If it occurred to her, then it’s more likely she isn’t mentioning it because she doesn’t want to talk about that particular act of heroism because it might lead to questions about the event she was being rescued from.
What I think is most likely is that too much of her brain is occupied thinking about Jacob’s arms to think quickly
Oh, I’m not saying heroic rescues aren’t romantic. I’m just saying they aren’t the kind of romance Joyce was raised to believe in. She’s still interested in something a bit more prosaic and cotidiano.
I’d have to dig the DVD up, but it’s something like “calm and collected on the surface, but underneath there’s seven kinds of passion searching for an outlet”. Then he’s interviewing her in The Swamp about how she stays calm and never gets upset, to which she replies that she’s got to be strong for the sake of the nurses under her command. Then she starts berating him for “parading” an athletic supporter around in front of her, even though it was lying on a cot across the tent and wasn’t even his, and he probably didn’t even notice it until then. She gets even angrier, because “those lecherous, drunken cretins” must have left it there, and finally screams at him to put his hat on it. He does, then she’s back to being outwardly calm and collected again, like a switch was flipped.
I see some of that “‘I’m not upset’, she seethed” behavior in Sarah.
haha, kinda reminds me of Sapphire and Garnet. although the way they show that stuff in mash has a lot of sexist undertones. (I do like how much the show improved over time wrt, though)
also reminds me of when Houlihan’s talking to some not-quite-boyfriend who keeps pushing her to be more wife-y, and she talks about how there’s essentially three people inside her (the woman, the nurse and the major iirc).
apparently there’s a way to get the english audio if you download the right version of the episode and fiddle with it, but, that sounds like more effort than I want to put in today. (and I’d rather do such things in linux)
I’m already in a relationship, but yeah, go ahead and sell me on this other girl.
And hey, while we’re on the subject, what are you doing next Saturday night?
cos that’s THE ONLY interpersonal relationship stright men and women can have.
And Bi/pan ppl don’t have friends at all- only prey.
Look that comment reveals more than I need to know about you. More than anyone outside of your meatspace need to kow aobut you.
your meatspace ppl, however, definitely need to know that about you. “this one, if they’re trying to be friends with you, they want sex”
People can react strongly to BS that they see (or experience) regularly, and the assumption that people can’t be friends with the gender they’re attracted to is a common one. Since it seems like that was what zombie was getting at I don’t blame Carms for their reaction.
I agree with Inahc. I took what zombie was saying to mean “sure, sell me on this other girl (which is exactly what Jacob said) while I’d rather know more about you (in a romantic context, yeah, but lbr thats kinda where this thing between joyce and jacob is heading towards, even if feelings on jacob’s part might not be as requited)”. I don’t think zombie was implying Jacob only sees women (in this case Sarah or Joyce) as potential sex partners. I think for Carms to admit to assuming so much about zombie from a joke about Jacob liking Joyce (of which there are a lot in these comments sections) is a little extra, but I can see where that reaction would come from, especially since it is such a common (and annoying) misconception.
I really hope we see some unexpected honesty and vulnerability from Joyce, giving Jacob better insight into the characters of both her and Sarah. But we will see!
I don’t know for sure, but Willis is pretty good at coming up with original dialog that sounds like it came straight out of the Old Testament. Remember “I choose to wear the tattered flesh of my vanquished enemies”?
I honestly can’t decide whether or not fundie culture would unironically use the term “birthing hips” as a selling point. It’s sufficiently superficial, but it’s also a little on the evolution-y side.
Well, “The proof is in the pudding” did get some drift from when the British would soak their figgy pudding in alcohol. Alcohol strength is rated by proof (for example 17% alcohol by volume becomes 34 proof), so literally the proof was in the pudding, but you could only test the proof of the pudding by tasting it.
“Study” is a good word for Sarah and it is especially true on the emotional and mental level. For all her weaknesses (that are manifold), you can always rely on Sarah to be there and to have your back. She has a strength of will that many lack.
She’s pricklier than a porcupine but she always has my back. even when her caution is caustic. and she acts out her back-having, she follows through, And her follow throughs are BRUTAL.
See, a character with the power to fit cars into any space would be an amazing addition to a superhero story.
Because of course they’d be the last resort the Good Guys use, and they would all be really vague about what the character’s power is. Then things get bad enough, the heroes are cornered by the villains, when suddenly
[gets a mental of loin-cloth wearing barbarian Sarah standing upon the hill made of her beaten enemies, holding her bat like a sword with equally dishevelled Jacob clinging to her leg]
Yey
He’s very direct. And charismatic, so his directness comes off as candor, but it can put you on the spot, especially if you don’t have great self-esteem. He does try to make sure you’re comfortable, as we saw in the previous strip, so I think he’s somewhat aware that he can have this effect on people.
Seriously, Joyce is doing markedly better than I would in this kind of situation. If someone asks me point blank to talk about something I promptly forget everything I know about the subject.
haha. That moment when you have to name your friends good points to their crush, but all you can think of is the less than flattering things. We’ve all been there…
Considering Sarah and Jacob bonded over Joyce’s idiosyncrasies and Sarah didn’t know anything else to talk about with him and that’s basicly why Sarah encouraged him to stop talking to her, that’s a loaded question.
What does she think about this roommate of hers who laughed about her behind her back? Jacob doesn’t know about bat-swinging Sarah to the rescue.
So Joyce promoting her good qualities must seem strange to him.
And naturally her opening lead from the frying pan right into the fire.
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Well said, Joyce.
“She walloped a would-be rapist with a bat” isn’t something you just blurt out over lunch.
Unless you’re Becky.
They shoulda gone for pizza.
Am I remembering correctly that one of Jake’s pluses for Joyce was “she totally punched a kidnapper in the face”? So y’never know, he might be impressed!
Sarah’s prowess with a bat not only prevented a rape, it made her the team leader in RBIs.
I don’t know what RBIs stands for so I’m going to assume it’s short for Nihilist Arby’s, which makes far more sense than it should.
I assume in this case it’s “Rapists Bashed In.”
*Note that I do know what RBIs usually stands for.
I thought it was “Ryans Beaten Incoherent”.
In case you were curious what RBI actually stands for, I believe it’s Runs Batted In. It’s a baseball term, which is fitting given the baseball bat. I may have overexplained a little there, but better safe than sorry.
Yes, RBI stands for Runs Batted In.
For example, if you already have a runner on 2nd and 3rd base, and your team gets a hit, and the people on 2nd and 3rd manage to make it to home, then the batter is given 2 RBIs (i.e. 2 players that managed to score thanks to his hitting.)
The purpose of the statistic is to highlight witch players can hit the ball either very far or who can better target a location to hit the ball to (which can allow more players to score on a play). If a player has a low number of RBIs, they either can’t hit the ball at all, or when they do it it it doesn’t go far (so the players can’t always advance to home.)
Although personally I prefer the term ‘Ryans Bashed In’.
Also particularly fast players and players with better than average ability to aim a hit ball where they want are usually put in a spot in the line-up where they’re likely to hit first, so that there will be men on base when the power hitters segnosaur talks about get their turn it’s more likely that they will have base-runners they can help score.
thanks
Seriously though, there are <abbr> and <acronym> tags for a reason. And I don’t know why there are two of them because at least in this setup they basically serve the same purpose.
You could also just use google if you’re curious (hint: it’s a sportsball stat)
In my opinion, an overrated sportsball stat, and on that point I care deeply.
I searched it and got the Reserve Bank of India. So, eh.
abbrev. is an abbreviation. TLA is a Three Letter Acronym.
TLA is an abbreviation, not an acronym. /pedant
That depends on how you pronounce it, surely.
Specifically it’s an initialism. Acronyms are abbreviations.
So what would something like the GNU operating system be? (Stands for “GNU’s Not Unix”, pronounced like the wildebeest). I feel infinite recursion needs its own category.
Recursive acronyms are acronyms.
All the way down.
They’re still a pain on mobile, though; my rss reader can’t show them, so I have to load a full browser with a special plugin to make them clickable. And this site is pretty hard on browsers, too.
Ey, is somebody keepin’ track of my heads batted in?”
– Scout
Joyce: “♪♫ Like a rock, Sarah’s strong as she could be… ♫♪”
Jacob: “Huh, didn’t think your parents let you listen to secular rock music.”
Joyce: “…That’s not just a truck jingle?”
cut to gratuitous slow-motion shot of Sarah splashing through a muddy lake
I just imagine Sarah angrily rampaging through a muddy dirt road leaving behind ruts that multiple pickup trucks could easily fall into
[lemongrab]ONE THOUSAND UPVOTES!!![/lemongrab]
That amused me far more than it should have. Your Point count has been increased by 17!
Then to a shot of her barely catching something heavy, then cut to something else as she starts fumbling it. (10 seconds in.)
Cut to a shot of Sarah easily towing a laden trailer along a dirt road, her tyres splashing through puddles. Then to a family sitting on a hilltop overlooking the ocean, their backs resting comfortably against Sarah.
It’s Ultra-Sarah!
Maybe add in a scene of Sarah hauling lumber in a snowstorm through slush puddles since they are in NoDa.
I could easily see GMC naming it’s next truck the ‘Sarah’.
“GMC Sarah. When the job needs to be done RIGHT.”
I laughed hard and I wanted you to know that. Thanks for the hearty chuckle, Doctor_Who and shadowcell.
“Breaker 1-9, we got us a convoy …”
I understood that reference.
A tape of C.W. McCall’s greatest hits was my favorite tape 6-12. then it went into rotation with two John Denver tapes until last year when we replaced the last car we owned with a tape-deck. I should transcribe those to MP3 or FLAC….
comments like these make me wish we had an upvote function here
Yeah, like maybe D—
<japanese>The death of Big Pablo has been sponsored by the Willis Organization</japanese>
For our younger and overseas friends – Bob Seger sings a truck commercial (and a hit single) from 20 years ago.
https://youtu.be/IocCC1-jeTY
Slight nitpick: That was thirty years ago.
(Wow. Now I feel not-so-young, being an adult when it was new.)
The irises don’t lie, Joyce.
We’ve all had that moment where part 1 of our imaginary conversation actually works, and then we have to face the consequences of not having a part 2
“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to get this far.”
“Okay, so that’s part 1 out of the way.”
“What’s part 2?”
“There’s a part 2? Usually this is the part where I realize I’m naked in front of all my old classmates and am also late for the exam for a class I never took. And also my teeth are falling out.”
You have the teeth falling out dream too?
Of course not. If it did, that would mean I have stage 4 dream disease, where your dreams begin replacing your original personality bit by bit until there’s nothing of the old you left, disguising it from the host by convincing them that it’s a natural part of aging.
that dream is so common there’s an xkcd for it. https://xkcd.com/719/ (it’s in the alt text)
I usually have a part 2, but I often mess it up by jumping to the part 2 without first going through the part 1.
I’m real bad at flirting.
“I see your dress coming off at midnight.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Shit! I meant to ask if you were Cinderella first, and hope you answered ‘Why?’. Can we start over?”
“When you fell from heaven.”
“What?”
“…Fuck, sorry, last time.”
“Can I borrow your phone?”
“Sure, need to make a call?”
“…shit, I messed it up”
“So I could lie tangential to your curves!”
“Huh?”
“Oops…Let me come in again.”
“Are you the only ten I see?”
“This is getting annoying.”
“Nonono, trust me, I got this.”
???
Profit!
I don’t know the setup to this one…please expand.
Which one?
I think Kamino was asking about the one ending
“Can I borrow your phone?”
(which I don’t know either)
I googled it, looks like it’s meant to be “Can I borrow your phone number” – so not exactly a missed setup line.
“I’m like a dog chasing cars”?
Air conditioning is a standard feature.
Cup holders too. And a drivetrain warranty.
And ABS-assisted brakes too.
“She’s built like a pickup truck” could totally pass as a song lyric.
I think Sven at QC already has that in his BMI credits.
“Thong Song” had nearly exactly that.
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong
I don’t think that’s quite what Joyce had in mind.
Consciously, at any rate.
That’s what I thought of IMMEDIATELY.
You get it. You understand the true joy of that song being given relevance. Let us dance through the night to this classic!
… She has…what? What kind of song is this? That’s not what they mean by scat singing!!!
Accustomed to loving everyone unconditionally, Joyce is unpracticed in convincing others of that love.
Man, Joyce, did you not think it would get this far or something?
She was expecting him to go “Yes, absolutely! She is wonderful! I will now go join with her in holy matrimony and product eight to ten beautiful Christian babies!” Because Joyce-vision is like Pyro-vision from TF2, but with more praising Jesus.
Joyce believes in magical predestined OTP love, not love based on mutual interests or suitably complimentary qualities.
She’s not wrong
…Is joyce talking about Sarah’s rack? (Body language)
How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples….
(Let’s face it pretty much all of the Song of Solomon is NSFW. My favorite translation-induced double entendre: “Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.”)
Song of Solomon is pretty much Bible porn.
It’s a pleasant break from the gorn.
Speaking of bible porn, did you know that the man who would become Pope Pius II wrote some pretty popular 15th-century literotica?
Not that surprising, since there is a secret room in the vatican for inspiration!
I never heard of it but now I gotta read it.
All I can offer you in return is Song of India, if you like Rimsky-Korsakov and Tommy Dorsey.
Only if Sarah has really strange boobs – the gesture is supposed to be palms toward your own chest.
“Sturdy Breasts” is both an unusual compliment and a good band name.
Worst. Wingman. Ever. (Wing-person? Wing-folk? Wing? Winger?)
And Abed hired and Irish singer~
Which may make her more likely to do what Sarah actually wants her to do. She’s like Elan that way.
abedeyebrowwiggle.gif
*instinctively cringes on hearing the word “truck”*
Would you prefer “lorry”?
“pickup lorry” just doesn’t have the same strength, sadly. :p
There has to be a British expression for “pickup”.
I prefer ute, it’s the Aussie way
I prefer “way too h*cking big”
Compromise: way too h*cking big ute
I thought “truck” was fine for light pickups like the Hilux, “lorry” is for HGVs and semis, and “utes” are basically station wagons with truck beds (Ford Falcon, Chevrolet El Camino, Subaru BRAT)?
Disclaimer: I learned pretty much everything I know about non-USDM cars from Jeremy Clarkson and Edd China.
If you can license it as a car (SUVs, minivans, conversion vans) or it’s something like a ‘crew cab’ pickup but you never carry anything except people, then it’s not a real truck — no matter what it may say on the title.
Cab with a trailer is an “articulated lorry”.
At least she’s not a flat-bed semi …
“It’s a girl my Lord in a flat bed Ford…”
She didn’t plan for this.
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
Our weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear! Our two weapons! Surprise, fear, and separating our food into little piles. Three. Our three weapons.
… We’ll do it again.
I mean, she’ll defend you with a bat, hide potentially triggering pieces of clothing, get your best friend’s evil dad’s car towed, wake you up on Sunday so you won’t miss church, dress you, and help spray your best friend and her loser boyfriend out of your bed before they make with the sex.
That’s a pretty good portfolio.
“She’s loyal and protective (once you convince her that you’re friends anyway), resourceful, helpful, and she’s always got your back when you need her”
There, I translated it!
Joyce is trying to sell her as good girlfriend material, not one of the Elements of Harmony.
Yeah, put simply describing Sarah’s positive traits from her point of view may at least give Jacob something to think about. He wants to know why Joyce thinks so highly of Sarah, so an answer like this wouldn’t be horrible.
Harmony makes for good relationships.
Dammit, now I can’t not read my own comment in Twilight Sparkle’s voice
Tell him about the time she saved your life. That would probably work.
But that doesn’t fit into the fundamentalist idea of romance, so she can’t bring that up!
And besides, that would mean talking about her near rape and she’s not going to do that lightly.
“Sturdy” kind of is a good descriptor for some of what Joyce gets from Sarah. Her elaboration wasn’t exactly helpful, and she’s probably not playing to her audience but…Sarah is kind of sturdy.
When does she start to talk about things like ‘child-bearing hips’?
In pretty much any culture before modern medicine and effective contraception, “less chance of dying in childbirth” is a pretty important factor.
Joyce isn’t gonna tell him about Sarah and Old Testament*? It is compelling to save someone who’s been drugged from being raped. Or is that too raw a thing for Joyce to talk about, which I’d completely understand.
(*That is the name of the baseball bat, isn’t it?)
It’s also too specific and meaningful to fit Joyce’s fundie preconceptions about luuuuuuuv.
She’s perfect if you need to barricade your front door.
Swing and a miss
TIL the archive link from the previous comment doesn’t start working as soon as a new comic is posted.
I really should have intuited that (I’m a comp sci major, I should understand how computers work on a basic level) but I never quite put it together.
Sarah’s pretty good with a baseball bat, as long as her target is a rapist asshole.
No data exists on her skill at actual baseball.
*Sarah swings the bat*
“Strike one!”
*Sarah swings it again*
“Strike two!”
*Joyce calling from the bleachers* “Sarah, imagine that ball is Ryan’s face!”
*KAPOW*
And now the air is shattered by the force of Sarah’s blow…
Okay, that’s…just too good for this world.
… Mighty Sarah has struck out.
That is probably how Willis would write it.
Sarah is loyal, even to people who annoy her. She tries hard to be a better person than she is. She does the things she thinks is right, even though it doesn’t make her happy.
Also, she saved me from being raped, and helped me afterwards.
There. Was that so hard?
If Joyce admits to herself that those are qualities Jacob would find romantically appealing, she would be admitting to herself that he might find her romantically appealing.
Sarah: The reliable truck brand, tough it out with Sarah
Oh no. Is this going to end with Joyce finding out about the Joyce stories?
…shit, I hadn’t thought of that
Joyce stories?
Sarah wasn’t very good at having conversations with Jacob originally – unless she was telling a story about Joyce. This comic highlights that.
Ah, I remember! Thanks for the link too, helped a lot to sort through my memory
I doubt it? So far Jacob seems to have tact and delicacy- or at the very least a good head on his shoulders. He’s been known to talk about stuff that wasn’t his place before (once), but just look at how he handled that- he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to be all “oh yeah she totally shit-talks you behind your back”.
Maybe casually mentioning that Sarah’s talked about her, and then being careful how he follows it up if/when Joyce gets curious.
Not sure “She once beat the hell out of my almost-rapist with a baseball bat before bruising his ribs under her shoe” is a point Joyce is willing to sell, much less one Jacob is willing to buy.
Jacob’s favorite thing about Joyce is the time she punched Toedad. He would buy that hook, line, and mixed metaphor.
AND she towed ToeDad’s car to save Becky.
(And to cause Maggie to rename him “tow dad,” triggering a second Willis wedding)
“she’ll always go to bat for a friend?”
Sure, she can be batty, but she’ll always swing your way.
I’m surprised Joyce is blanking out on Sarah’s heroism from the party. But then again, she would prefer not to remember that night.
She may actually not remember much of it herself.
That too.
She knows what happened, though. But as others have noted, given the trauma involved, she’s not going to immediately talk about it as soon as it’s vaguely relevant. She’s probably going to avoid talking about it even when it’s extremely relevant. (Which is fine by the way, as long as it’s not lifelong avoidance there’s nothing wrong with her healing in her own time.)
I mean, even if Joyce isn’t talking specifically about Sarah’s party heroics, Sarah has been a good friend to her in a few ways, despite her pessimism and general issues. Like, Sarah isn’t a perfect person by any means, but she really does seem to care about Joyce.
Not sure if this means Sarah et. al.’s True Plan isn’t working at all or working better than hoped. (I’m leaning towards B.)
But what if Jacob says, “Speak for yourself, Joyce Brown.”?
That’s also what I came to say.
I feel like the next strip is going to be Jacob going, “Wow. Sarah has no redeeming qualities and you’re still terribly happy about her as a roommate? You’re kinda special.”
Hey! I was trying to go to sleep over here and I am now being severely distracted by way too many giggles from this one. Sincerely LOLing.
In response to something like a third of the commentators, NO, Joyce isn’t going to make the connection that Jacob might have the hots for Sarah if he heard about her justified assault and bat-tery.
For Joyce to make that connection based on the hints that Jacob’s dropped about how much he admires Joyce, Joyce would FIRST have to realize that he’s got the hots for Joyce.
And that ain’t happening.
Not to mention it doesn’t fit the fundie romantic narrative that Joyce is still heavily invested in.
Heroic rescues are very romantic. I’m pretty sure that even though traditionally it’s “supposed” to be the guy that’s being heroic, Joyce has grown enough that she’d still see that, especially since she’s not shopping for herself here.
If it occurred to her, then it’s more likely she isn’t mentioning it because she doesn’t want to talk about that particular act of heroism because it might lead to questions about the event she was being rescued from.
What I think is most likely is that too much of her brain is occupied thinking about Jacob’s arms to think quickly
Oh, I’m not saying heroic rescues aren’t romantic. I’m just saying they aren’t the kind of romance Joyce was raised to believe in. She’s still interested in something a bit more prosaic and cotidiano.
people keep mentioning trucks, but my first thought was the MASH episode where Major Houlihan is called ‘sturdy’.
…well, I’m not confused about the truck thing any more. somehow I forgot the last panel existed.
What about Sidney Freedman’s voiceover description of her in Dear Sigmund?
I don’t remember that one… :/ and I don’t know where I could get it now… omg! archive.org seems to have it!
…nevvermind, it’s dubbed in… like… russian or something? :/
I’d have to dig the DVD up, but it’s something like “calm and collected on the surface, but underneath there’s seven kinds of passion searching for an outlet”. Then he’s interviewing her in The Swamp about how she stays calm and never gets upset, to which she replies that she’s got to be strong for the sake of the nurses under her command. Then she starts berating him for “parading” an athletic supporter around in front of her, even though it was lying on a cot across the tent and wasn’t even his, and he probably didn’t even notice it until then. She gets even angrier, because “those lecherous, drunken cretins” must have left it there, and finally screams at him to put his hat on it. He does, then she’s back to being outwardly calm and collected again, like a switch was flipped.
I see some of that “‘I’m not upset’, she seethed” behavior in Sarah.
haha, kinda reminds me of Sapphire and Garnet.
although the way they show that stuff in mash has a lot of sexist undertones. (I do like how much the show improved over time wrt, though)
also reminds me of when Houlihan’s talking to some not-quite-boyfriend who keeps pushing her to be more wife-y, and she talks about how there’s essentially three people inside her (the woman, the nurse and the major iirc).
It’s out there in English, but it’s also the episode where Klinger only speaks in Arabic as a discharge ploy. Season 5 Episode 8, about 13:15 in.
apparently there’s a way to get the english audio if you download the right version of the episode and fiddle with it, but, that sounds like more effort than I want to put in today. (and I’d rather do such things in linux)
Love this thread, if only for the prevalence of Dina gravs.
Is Joyce gonna continue describing Sarah like different vehicles?
They’re good vehicles Tostadas
I’m already in a relationship, but yeah, go ahead and sell me on this other girl.
And hey, while we’re on the subject, what are you doing next Saturday night?
cos that’s THE ONLY interpersonal relationship stright men and women can have.
And Bi/pan ppl don’t have friends at all- only prey.
Look that comment reveals more than I need to know about you. More than anyone outside of your meatspace need to kow aobut you.
your meatspace ppl, however, definitely need to know that about you. “this one, if they’re trying to be friends with you, they want sex”
Uh, I think you might be making some assumptions there?
People can react strongly to BS that they see (or experience) regularly, and the assumption that people can’t be friends with the gender they’re attracted to is a common one. Since it seems like that was what zombie was getting at I don’t blame Carms for their reaction.
I agree with Inahc. I took what zombie was saying to mean “sure, sell me on this other girl (which is exactly what Jacob said) while I’d rather know more about you (in a romantic context, yeah, but lbr thats kinda where this thing between joyce and jacob is heading towards, even if feelings on jacob’s part might not be as requited)”. I don’t think zombie was implying Jacob only sees women (in this case Sarah or Joyce) as potential sex partners. I think for Carms to admit to assuming so much about zombie from a joke about Jacob liking Joyce (of which there are a lot in these comments sections) is a little extra, but I can see where that reaction would come from, especially since it is such a common (and annoying) misconception.
I really hope we see some unexpected honesty and vulnerability from Joyce, giving Jacob better insight into the characters of both her and Sarah. But we will see!
Tomorrow’s preview panel shows an awkward-looking Joyce, so I’m looking forward to it.
I think awkwardness was pretty high on the likelyometre! But I’m definitely looking forward to seeing it too, I like this arc.
Prediction: Jacob rains compliments on Joyce, leaving her lost for words.
That’s the international gesture for “sturdy”
I thought it was the international gesture for vast tracks of land.
Just as long as there is no singing.
A+
I’m gonna go and guess that “stands firm in harsh winds” is another fundamentalist prayer thing.
Googling the phrase only gives me this very comic. (INCEPTION NOISE.)
I don’t know for sure, but Willis is pretty good at coming up with original dialog that sounds like it came straight out of the Old Testament. Remember “I choose to wear the tattered flesh of my vanquished enemies”?
Actually, that one sounded more like a Khorne worshipper than a fundamentalist christian.
“Doesn’t Fall Over When Farted On” didn’t play well with the fundamentalist church.
“She got them good birthin’ hips… and, uh… she likes you… so perfect match, right?”
“Plus she already named her premarital solo marital aid after you.”
HAHAHAHAH birthing hips…..
I honestly can’t decide whether or not fundie culture would unironically use the term “birthing hips” as a selling point. It’s sufficiently superficial, but it’s also a little on the evolution-y side.
Intelligently-designed birthing hips, of course. It shows she has God’s favor.
…oh god that does sound like something they’d say.
Like a pickup truck, Joyce?
Or a brick?
house?
Never understood how being built like a brick shithouse can be considered an attractive feature.
You can hide behind such a person while a hurricane is throwing things around and you’ll be perfectly safe.
Well, I mean, they’re… mighty mighty.
I believe the original term was “stacked like a brick house”, but has suffered from some linguistic drift over the years.
Kind of like how the adage “the proof of the pudding is in the tasting” morphed into the rather nonsensical “the proof is in the pudding”.
Well, “The proof is in the pudding” did get some drift from when the British would soak their figgy pudding in alcohol. Alcohol strength is rated by proof (for example 17% alcohol by volume becomes 34 proof), so literally the proof was in the pudding, but you could only test the proof of the pudding by tasting it.
Or trying to set it on fire
“Study” is a good word for Sarah and it is especially true on the emotional and mental level. For all her weaknesses (that are manifold), you can always rely on Sarah to be there and to have your back. She has a strength of will that many lack.
She’s pricklier than a porcupine but she always has my back. even when her caution is caustic. and she acts out her back-having, she follows through, And her follow throughs are BRUTAL.
oh dear
In my head canon, there is a version of Sarah in an alternate universe who hit ol’ Gashface not with a bat, but with a pickup truck.
… indoors.
Yeah, in this alternate dimension Willis started kicking up the action long before Toedad’s appearance.
See, a character with the power to fit cars into any space would be an amazing addition to a superhero story.
Because of course they’d be the last resort the Good Guys use, and they would all be really vague about what the character’s power is. Then things get bad enough, the heroes are cornered by the villains, when suddenly
CAR
Ultra Car can’t fit through the stock room doors, but Spider-Car can.
That made me chuckle!
I’ve recently begun using “suddenly, BEAR” in a similar context.
So… like a reverse clown?
In some universe, Sarah was Ultra Car.
[gets a mental of loin-cloth wearing barbarian Sarah standing upon the hill made of her beaten enemies, holding her bat like a sword with equally dishevelled Jacob clinging to her leg]
Yey
“Sarah! What is best in life?!”
To crush Raidah, Drive her before me And hear Jacob’s aroused gasps!”
Omg!
I rofled so hard on the last line. :DDDDD
Last panel : *honk honk*
That was mean, Jake. Asking her straight out like that.
He does have a tendency to put people on the spot sometimes. I get the vibe of someone who has seen to much drama and makes a conscious effort to avoid it.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/effort-2/
He’s going to be a good cross examiner.
He’s very direct. And charismatic, so his directness comes off as candor, but it can put you on the spot, especially if you don’t have great self-esteem. He does try to make sure you’re comfortable, as we saw in the previous strip, so I think he’s somewhat aware that he can have this effect on people.
Seriously, Joyce is doing markedly better than I would in this kind of situation. If someone asks me point blank to talk about something I promptly forget everything I know about the subject.
me too.
Ahahah Joyce did not think this through before starting.
But yeah, that’s a good start. Sarah is reliable, that’s a wonderful thing about her.
Sarah is built Ford tough.
She’s a bongo, Joyce, though of course you can’t say it. Once you realize someone can be a bongo and still be a good person, you might say it, though.
Is this a “junk in the trunk” thing?
She can’t exactly bring up the Old Testament God, but Sarah was there for her when she really needed someone http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/oldtestament/
…or Big Sister http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/sisters-2/
wingman of the year lmao
(or is it wingwoman in that case?)
I believe the gender-neutral term is “pegasus”.
I am happy to be a WingPegasus.
“She’s Batman.”
That was never proven.
She’s straightforward, honest, and does genuinely care about people to a point it makes her cagey and afraid to get hurt. Also quite intelligent.
This isn’t hard, Joyce.
Thank you. I’m tired of people acting like Sarah is just this constantly grumpy awful grouch with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Exactly. She’s a constantly grumpy awful grouch with many redeeming qualities.
uh, yes it *is* hard.
“You can fit four.”
“She beat up a would-be rapist with a baseball bat” would be my go-to, but I can understand why Joyce doesn’t want to talk about that. Sarah’s cool.
haha. That moment when you have to name your friends good points to their crush, but all you can think of is the less than flattering things. We’ve all been there…
Considering Sarah and Jacob bonded over Joyce’s idiosyncrasies and Sarah didn’t know anything else to talk about with him and that’s basicly why Sarah encouraged him to stop talking to her, that’s a loaded question.
What does she think about this roommate of hers who laughed about her behind her back? Jacob doesn’t know about bat-swinging Sarah to the rescue.
So Joyce promoting her good qualities must seem strange to him.
And naturally her opening lead from the frying pan right into the fire.
Me trying to compliment my friends, who I love, without just saying “you’re cool”
Her love for you is like a truck BERSERKER
Is that a song?
*fails to get reference because he lives under a rock*
My love for you is like a truck…. beserker
Joyce summoning Sarah the Berserker who can transform into CarSarah?
I can’t tell if Jacob’s eyes are slowly getting bigger, or if Joyce having dot eyes in this comic are making his dot eyes seem big by comparison.
Joyce in this strip is reminding me a lot of Girls With Slingshots
She’s nice. Well… maybe “nice” isn’t the right word. She’s very protective!
Please stop helping, Joyce. Just… stop.