Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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July 1, 2026

Sick

by David M Willis on April 27, 2017 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - The Thing I Was Before
└ Tags: carla, howard, jennifer, ruth

Discussion (295) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    April 27, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    ONE CARLA TO RULE THEM ALL

    one Billie to rule the mall

    • Emperor Daniel
      Emperor Daniel
      April 27, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

      Three Carlas at the Burger King throwing a pie,
      Seven Carlas with the short gods ruling in hell,
      Nine Carlas in the portal when Ultra flies,
      One for the Goddess on her godly throne
      In the Land of Ruttech where the Lasers lie.

      One Carla to rule them all, One Carla to find them,
      One Carla to bring them all and in her goodness mind them
      In the Land of Ruttech where the Lasers lie.

      • Lan
        Lan
        April 27, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

        Something about Howie writing some kinda “To There And Back Again” variant involving lots of lesbians because Howie’s a loveable goob.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          April 27, 2017 at 12:28 am | #

          Well, given Bilbo never married, Thorin never married, dwarf men out-number dwarf women two to one in Middle-earth, and that many dwarf women don’t marry, with just a tad bit of gender swapping that could well be a possibility.

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        April 27, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

        Strange I see Carla as in a more “All shall love me and despair!” type of light.

        • Sev
          Sev
          April 27, 2017 at 9:17 am | #

          All of this. I’ve even nearly quoted that line in relation to her before (didn’t because it only fit in the context of the comments discussion which was like, a month old by that point and wasn’t clever enough to post for posterity).

          Wish I could remember why.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        April 27, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

        I for one welcome our badass Carla overlords.

    • Chris
      Chris
      April 27, 2017 at 12:34 am | #

      Ho! Carla rules, Carla rules! Merrydol, derrydol

    • Chris
      Chris
      April 27, 2017 at 12:39 am | #

      We shall have to vast her into Mount Doom, and invade Mordor.

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        April 27, 2017 at 12:47 am | #

        I for one would willingly give Carla the One Ring. World domination just isn’t fun if you’re the boss. Now if you’re an elite mook or one of the boss’s lieutenants, then it gets rrreeaalllyyyy fun! (That plus, I’d kinda be hoping she find a way to turn me into an Uruk-Hai with her engineering powers enhanced beyond the comprehension of any mere mortal by the One Ring)

  2. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    April 27, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

    I’m assuming “Whats-her-name” is Danny

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      April 27, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

      No, it’s clearly:

      Cheerlader! (Billie)
      So-And-So! (Dorothy)
      What’s-Her-Face! (Dina)
      The Ugly One! (Mary)

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        April 27, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

        Aww, what a nice blast from the past. DOA’d!!

        • Rowen Morland
          Rowen Morland
          April 27, 2017 at 1:32 am | #

          Willispeared!

      • Valerie
        Valerie
        April 27, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

        “Okay gals, let’s get ready to look–”
        “SOOOO GOOD”

        I watched a H*R toon earlier. I should rewatch all of TGS.

      • 0kami-kun
        0kami-kun
        April 27, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

        VOIP

        *helicopter gunner noises*

        PUNT

        IT’S OVER!

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        April 27, 2017 at 2:26 am | #

        Corn chips are no place for a mighty warrior!

      • Dex
        Dex
        April 27, 2017 at 8:43 am | #

        Scantron Armor… ASSEMBLE!

  3. Danni
    Danni
    April 27, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    excuse you, carla, i will rule hell. youll be a governor.

    • Shaunock
      Shaunock
      April 27, 2017 at 2:07 am | #

      Cara will fight you. Are you prepared?

      • Danni
        Danni
        April 27, 2017 at 2:26 am | #

        yes

        • N0083rP00F
          N0083rP00F
          April 27, 2017 at 11:21 am | #

          But first we will have to remove your spines but you can keep your femurs…. for now.

    • Killjoy
      Killjoy
      April 27, 2017 at 9:58 am | #

      I think the ruler of Hell is technically an “unofficial mayor”.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        April 27, 2017 at 11:54 am | #

        It doesn’t have a lake of fire, but the lake it does have is pretty unimpressive.

  4. Mr D
    Mr D
    April 27, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Okay, I call up the nerds:
    Saber, Rin or Sakura, what’s your choice?

    (Yes this has nothing to do with DOA, so sue me)

    • Romanticide
      Romanticide
      April 27, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

      I am going to go Saber because I am a sucker for her dress armor. Such a great design.

    • Danni
      Danni
      April 27, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

      sakura

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      April 27, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

      Angelica. Just because.

    • EvilMidnightLurker
      EvilMidnightLurker
      April 27, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

      Best Ending: Saber and Rin.

      (Well, really Shiro and Saber, because Rin is the one with the harem, not Shiro.)

      • Krys Brynhildr
        Krys Brynhildr
        April 27, 2017 at 3:56 pm | #

        Yeah, I’m gonna second this option.

        I mean even Shirou becomes a lot better overall in order to make UBW work as a route. Saber route lets him slide by with his unhealthy self-sacrifice thing, and is implied to be end poorly for a lot of people involved.

        I mean, at least its not Heaven’s Feel, which requires a huge amount of writer fiat and nonsensical cheap write arounds in order to make it so there’s no actual romance possibilities for Shirou other than Sakura. Well, that and them doubling down on the bodyhorror, yandere vibes, and Shirou selling his moral code out for huge boobies. Cause huge boobies.

        Rin’s harem/UBW Good End is definitely best route.

        • takashid
          takashid
          April 27, 2017 at 6:03 pm | #

          ok, this is really not the place for long debates about this subject, i dont want to turn willis’ comic comment section into fate discourse central but i. cannot disagree more with you about Heaven’s Feel.

          After UBW, an entire route slamming the fact that Shirou’s hero ideals will ruin him it was wonderful to see him take a human path in HF where he doesn’t chase a futile ideal. And his romance with Sakura was beautiful, and im doing exactly what i said i wouldnt, ok im done, bye.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            April 27, 2017 at 6:17 pm | #

            There have been plenty of discussions about things like this here. I wouldn’t worry. If Willis didn’t want the discussion here, it’d be deleted.

    • rectilinearpropagation
      rectilinearpropagation
      April 27, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

      Ruby has my favorite weapon but Weiss’ semblance is cooler.

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        April 27, 2017 at 8:22 am | #

        I want Weiss’s semblance, Ruby’s personality, Yang’s looks, and Penny’s weapon and fighting style.

    • takashid
      takashid
      April 27, 2017 at 5:56 pm | #

      SAKURA

  5. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    April 27, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    Ah yes, Whats-her-name, who lives in Room number Idunno.

    • Passchendaele
      Passchendaele
      April 27, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

      And whose family lives on ??? Whatever Lane in the Middle of Nowhere.

  6. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    April 27, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Satan is just keeping Carla’s throne warm for her.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      April 27, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

      And when she takes her throne Satan will become her butler.

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        April 27, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

        Funnily enough, in his origin Satan is actually just his job title, and he’s basically heaven’s very angry DA. He probably didn’t like his “lateral promotion” and would be happy with a more subservient role again.

      • StClair
        StClair
        April 27, 2017 at 12:42 am | #

        In a Harry Potter RP some years back, we joked that [one of the Slytherin PCs] would end up in Dumbledore’s chair and the old man would be pushing a broom, wondering how it came to this.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          April 27, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

          Discworld has taught me never to underestimate an old man pushing a broom.

          • Leorale
            Leorale
            April 27, 2017 at 2:01 am | #

            Especially not if he’s smiling.

            I have actually used this lesson in real life, both in pinpointing that the custodian totally knew what was going on (she did), and in getting places without being questioned (it works).

  7. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    April 27, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    “I am very very sneaky.”

  8. Tacos
    Tacos
    April 27, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Ah yes, good ol’ “Whats-her-name”. Any relation to “Whats-his-face”?

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      April 27, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

      Of course, if you saw Rock & Rule you’d know all about Whatsherface.

      • Dandi_Andi
        Dandi_Andi
        April 27, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

        Wow. That’s a blast from the past.

      • StClair
        StClair
        April 27, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

        One voice, one heart, one song!

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      April 27, 2017 at 1:59 pm | #

      Ah, yes. Good ol’ What’s-Her-Name.

      How I hate her.

  9. AutobotDen
    AutobotDen
    April 27, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    Yay! Carla’s back! 😀

  10. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    April 27, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    I think Billie kind of extrapolated a lot for reasons to blame Carla. For one, Ruth’s situation was never one of being “sent home” and she’s not safe to begin with. Also, Howard’s situation isn’t safe but that wasn’t impacted by Ruth. I think Ruth is probably grateful to some extent to carla–which would really irritate Billie.

  11. Thevoiceoftreason
    Thevoiceoftreason
    April 27, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Don’t pick fights with males, Carla. Even males who have been dead 2000 years…it wont end well for you.

    • MatthewTheLucky
      MatthewTheLucky
      April 27, 2017 at 12:33 am | #

      Yes, because Jesus was a well-known martial artist.

      Does your misogyny override the part of your brain that handles historical knowledge, or are you just really stupid?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        April 27, 2017 at 12:46 am | #

        You don’t want Kung-Fu Jesus angry with you.

        • rectilinearpropagation
          rectilinearpropagation
          April 27, 2017 at 12:56 am | #

          Frisky Dingo reference?

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            April 27, 2017 at 2:23 am | #

            Or just good advice in general.

      • Smiling Cat
        Smiling Cat
        April 27, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

        Is it mysogyny on his part, or an acceptance that the male dominated societies of history had a tendency to slap down upity women?

        Though I will point out that Jesus traveled with a posse of armed men and wasn’t above busting out some whip.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          April 27, 2017 at 1:06 am | #

          Only if sacred ground was desecrated/people were being swindled, which is kind of what that episode implied, given that money changers had a habit of “making calculation errors” when switching from denari to talents and vice versa.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      April 27, 2017 at 12:39 am | #

      Dude, the human male is incredibly easy to dispatch naturally. It’s why armor was designed. And the average height for Mediterranean man 2000 years ago was only around 5’1 to 5’4′. Carla is easily a giant compared to Jesus. Carla has also been shown to be able to lift at least someone Billie’s weight with only one arm, so her slender frame is actually quite misleading.

      • Smiling Cat
        Smiling Cat
        April 27, 2017 at 12:55 am | #

        Jesus had armed disciples. It might not be a fair fight.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          April 27, 2017 at 1:03 am | #

          Who were all also only in the 5’1-5’4 range. And he condemned Peter for actually using one of the two they had. It was apparently just to scare of bandits. And one of them will totally bail. And if Jesus gets to bring his disciples, then Carla gets to bring her gadgets. And that’s not even considering that Jesus might just stand there and take it, because “turn the other cheek” and all that.

          • Smiling Cat
            Smiling Cat
            April 27, 2017 at 1:47 am | #

            Honestly, I think he and Carla might actually get along after an initial confrontation. Almost buddy cop style.

            I’d watch the hell out of it.

            • Spaz
              Spaz
              April 27, 2017 at 2:45 am | #

              Dear Willis:

              Universe-bending buddycop with DOA Carla and Shortpacked! Historical Jesus please.

              • Smiling Cat
                Smiling Cat
                April 27, 2017 at 5:45 am | #

                It would be fantastic.

              • begbert2
                begbert2
                April 27, 2017 at 10:55 am | #

                It’s a good thing we’re past April Fools Day or the slipshine might cause riots.

              • DarkoNeko
                DarkoNeko
                April 27, 2017 at 12:34 pm | #

                If historical Jesus still work in a toy store they could be best friend over her favourite show.

          • Knayt
            Knayt
            April 27, 2017 at 3:03 pm | #

            Height matters a whole lot less once people being armed gets into the picture. This is less “don’t fight males” and more “don’t bring your fists to a sword fight” though, and the latter is pretty reasonable advice. I’m also fond of “don’t start shit with the fanatical inner circle of apocalyptic prophets”.

            Plus, Carla’s not comfortable with beatdowns. She prefers to assert her dominance with sweet pranks.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              April 27, 2017 at 5:18 pm | #

              Assuming Jesus had the whip or was with the apostles, that’d be decent advice. I stick to my ‘Carla creates a rube-goldberg Rat Trap esque device to conquer them’ idea.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                April 27, 2017 at 5:20 pm | #

                Goddammit, the game is called MOUSE Trap

              • Pinkie
                Pinkie
                April 27, 2017 at 8:32 pm | #

                Jesus…has a whip? Maybe a fedora too?

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        April 27, 2017 at 1:04 am | #

        Worst case scenario, grab his fingers and bend them as far back as they’ll go.

        Or bend the finger and push up on their fingernail. Hurts like a bongo the longer they are, and I don’t think a wandering nomad who’s followers took a vow of poverty would have nail clippers or knives handy.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          April 27, 2017 at 1:12 am | #

          I was just thinking she could just chokeslam and or suplex him for a half hour straight. People were tiny back then. I mean Jesus might have known about keeping his nails well filed being a carpenter and thus not wanting his nails to snag on the wood he would be working but still, they were all small because of a high carb low protein diet. Carla could probably throw them around like rag dolls.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            April 27, 2017 at 1:21 am | #

            Historical Jesus was a labourer for nearby construction projects, not a carpenter iirc. But yeah, I’d recommend Carla go for the fingers, solar plexus, stomach, ribs, shins, or groin. Spots that’ll bring you down for a while. Face punching is cathartic and might hurt them, but it also hurts your knuckles more and it doesn’t generally bring them down (unless you hit them hard enough to knock them out which is SUPER BAD FOR THEM and really hard and likely to hurt your knuckles).

            On the other hand, she really could just throw them around so.

            • Rukduk
              Rukduk
              April 27, 2017 at 1:40 am | #

              Oh definitely. I’d advise groin and throat, with the solar plexus a close third. Given that he was used to hard physical labor, he might have enough musculature around the ribs to make them a less viable target.

              • Leorale
                Leorale
                April 27, 2017 at 2:04 am | #

                …why are we beating up Jesus?

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:21 am | #

                  Rukduk brought up dispatching him, I like talking about stuff like that (martial arts stuff), I got excited.

                • Delicious Taffy
                  Delicious Taffy
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:25 am | #

                  It’s in the Bible, so it’s okay.

                • Rukduk
                  Rukduk
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:29 am | #

                  …I don’t know at this point? I think it originated from us considering Carla vs Jesus way too literally/intensely but I’m not entirely sure anymore.

                • StClair
                  StClair
                  April 27, 2017 at 5:58 am | #

                  If you meet the Buddha on the road, kick his ass.

                  (Well, you can try. He’ll probably kick yours first.)

                • hof1991
                  hof1991
                  April 27, 2017 at 9:22 am | #

                  If you meet Buddha, I believe the proper protocol is to kill him. Even according to Buddhists.

                  http://www.dailybuddhism.com/archives/670

                • MatthewTheLucky
                  MatthewTheLucky
                  April 27, 2017 at 9:41 pm | #

                  It’s Pascal’s Wager, but violent!

                • Jhon
                  Jhon
                  April 27, 2017 at 11:07 pm | #

                  Excited student runs up to guru:
                  “Master, while meditating, I had a glorious vision of the Buddha!”
                  “Oh? Keep meditating and it will go away.”

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                April 27, 2017 at 2:05 am | #

                A good sock in the ribs is generally a good one to knock the wind out of someone, similar to the gut. Kinda the way someone can have a well muscled stomach but still get the wind knocked out of them. I’d still say go for fingers/eyes/solar plexus/groin/throat/maybe the nose first. They’re fleshy and easy to get a good shot in. Nose might hurt your hand and it won’t bring them down, but it might distract them long enough to run. If this is a ‘fight to rule’ though, yeah, his eyes or his gut would be a better way to bring him down. Although I have no idea why we’re talking about this, since Carla’s fairly pacifistic and wouldn’t probably strike him considering she objected to RESTRAINING someone vocally threatening her and the girls she was hanging out with with a beating. She’d set up some sweet rube goldberg machine to trap him and that’d be the end of that.

                • Rukduk
                  Rukduk
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:27 am | #

                  Good point.

                • Baf
                  Baf
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:41 am | #

                  Nah, the best plan is: Point behind him and say “Oh no! It’s Satan!”, and when he turns around to look, BAM! Leg sweep.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:43 am | #

                  But Satan is SUPPOSED to be behind Jesus! “Get thee behind me, Satan” and all that.

                  Also leg sweeps will bring you down, but won’t keep you there long.

          • svata
            svata
            April 27, 2017 at 2:38 am | #

            Jesus is on a one-way trip to Suplex City

    • rectilinearpropagation
      rectilinearpropagation
      April 27, 2017 at 12:57 am | #

      Carla’s already proved she can handle herself.

      And I gotta ask: Male what? Dogs? Horses? I mean, it’s kinda weird you’re not being species specific here.

    • Dandi_Andi
      Dandi_Andi
      April 27, 2017 at 1:33 am | #

      Um… What? I’ve seen you around the comments before and you didn’t strike me as the sort for misogyny. So what gives?

      • foamy
        foamy
        April 27, 2017 at 3:35 am | #

        A bigoted read isn’t the only one possible. It could be coming from the same place as, e.g., Cerb’s deep mistrust of police does.

        • Dandi_Andi
          Dandi_Andi
          April 27, 2017 at 4:23 am | #

          Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to take a more cautious approach here and ask what this post was about. It is ambiguous enough that It could be read as benign, but I don’t immediately see how.

        • ischemgeek
          ischemgeek
          April 27, 2017 at 7:10 am | #

          Generally speaking, I find ‘males’ vs ‘females’ bioessentialist talk a very reliable red flag for misogyny and transphobia (esp transmisogyny). Not 100%, but up in the 95% region.

          Won’t exclude the possibility this guy is one of the 5% who don’t know the association that language has with MRAs and militant conservative Christians of the prepper/armed militia camp training up children as good little child soldiers for Jeebus and alll the bigotry that goes along with them, but experience tells me that the vast majority of the time, that’s a verbal tell for being heavily involved with that sort of culture and generally invested in the associated bigotries.

          • foamy
            foamy
            April 27, 2017 at 7:26 am | #

            It isn’t even necessarily bioessentialist. Like, it’s inescapable that there’s a giant societal bias in favour of male power and influence, yeah? And trans people are a very disadvantaged group in the general case. And so there’s a power mismatch and it gets trans people killed all the damn time.

            Carla’s got some insulation from that on account of being the daughter of wealthy, supportive parents, yes, but there’s a pretty big gap between “some” and “complete”.

            Serious question: If Carla left, oh, I dunno, Ryan bleeding on the floor after a fight Ryan provoked, who would you put odds on the police or justice system siding with?

            • Li
              Li
              April 27, 2017 at 9:00 am | #

              No, no, ischemgeek is talking purely about the vocabulary.

              “Males vs females” as being different from “men vs women”, with MRAs an so transphobes being big fans of saying “females” and also calling trans women “male”.

              That’s what’s bioessentialist and red-flaggy.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                April 27, 2017 at 10:22 am | #

                Hmmm. I do tend to use male and female at least in some contexts, but I don’t think I do so out of some “bioessentialism”. Though I guess I use them more as adjectives, rather than nouns – unless in some context when I’m not necessarily referring to humans.

                • Li
                  Li
                  April 27, 2017 at 1:38 pm | #

                  It is 100% the noun use. “Female characters in movies” is fine, “females in movies” is what gets a little eyebrow-raising.

                  MRAs tend to specifically say “men and females”, where the dehumanizing language goes hand in hand with dehumanizing thought processes. TERFs use both for their own awful purposes.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                April 27, 2017 at 11:58 am | #

                I admit, I use male and female interchangeably with men and women, but I’ll have to work that out if it’s red flaggy. It didn’t occur to me that plenty of assholes still don’t include trans men and trans women under male and female. Blech.

                • Pablo360
                  Pablo360
                  April 27, 2017 at 12:04 pm | #

                  I occasionally use male and female, but only when I want to obscure age but not gender. Such occasions are rare.

                • Li
                  Li
                  April 27, 2017 at 1:40 pm | #

                  I sympathize — I used to use “females” a fair bit myself to talk about women and girls of any age. The words have just kind of been poisoned by how they’re most commonly used.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  April 27, 2017 at 4:27 pm | #

                  Yeah. Fuck TERFs. It didn’t occur to me that there are assholes that would use ‘female’ to exclude trans women, rather than including them in the term. Goddammit, exclusionists, stop ruining everything!

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      April 27, 2017 at 2:27 am | #

      Unless, of course, that particular male is a complete wuss with no skates.

      • Dandi_Andi
        Dandi_Andi
        April 27, 2017 at 2:42 am | #

        Which, compared to Carla, is most of them.

    • Killjoy
      Killjoy
      April 27, 2017 at 9:46 am | #

      Statistically, sure, the physical advantage goes to the male.

      Statistically, in many jurisdictions, the male is far more likely to face legal consequences, no matter what actually happened, if things go the way of the police and the courts.

      Individuals are not statistics.

      However, that’s hardly related to this discussion of individual matchups. Who are you going to put your money on in a fight, Ronda Rousey or Woody Allen? Nearly-6-foot and physically-gifted Carla, or a hypothetical 5’1″ religious aesthetic?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      April 27, 2017 at 12:58 pm | #

      Uhhhhhhhhh…

      Wow, okay, this comment. All right, first up, no, not really, the statistical strength advantage of men is extremely minimal and more than overshadowed by intragroup variation. Meaning there’s huge variation within the groups men and women that saying any given woman will lose against any man is a deeply inaccurate statement that is easily disproven by asking any of the men here if they really felt they could take Rhonda Rousey in a fight just because of their manhood.

      Second, wow, okay, like, this is such a fucked up statement to make in particular about a trans woman because in a way it is right. We are being slaughtered by men* on the regular. Men who felt attraction to us, men who feel they own our sexuality, men who do not think we have a right to walk the streets, men who feel their masculinity challenged by a trans woman defending herself or others.

      *Yes, 100% notallmen, as there are many fantastic, wonderful, supportive men in my life that I am very grateful for, but it does not change the overall fear we are all too aware of.

      We are dying and we are dying at a rate far above the relative rate of most any group and that is especially true of trans women of color who are the vast majority of those targeted.

      So yeah, we all well know that our lives frequently hang in the balance of whether or not the men around us decide to kill us or not. We all know that stepping to a fight even if we win is likely to end in our brutal murder or being locked up in a male prison for years.

      Like, I’ve been through three incidents in my life so far where I only narrowly avoided becoming a statistic. I’m deeply aware of the threat that society and a certain type of awful man makes explicit. So to see it here as a throwaway sexist joke?

      Is really not cool. Fuck, man, think before you say some of this shit.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      April 27, 2017 at 6:02 pm | #

      *eyes this comment*

      *eyes the resulting responses*

      *eyes his 20-ft “make it easy to clean in high places* attachment pole*

      …..

      Nope.

      ……

      NopenopenopenopenopenopeNOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

  12. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    April 27, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    *Carla slides up on rollerblades when nobody’s looking (because let’s be honest, Howard probably opened a door to peek in and search for HBO (if he’s (un)lucky, it’s not 3pm yet and he can find Mary)*

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      April 27, 2017 at 2:28 am | #

      As crappy as Mary is (which is approximately 100%), I don’t think Howard walking in on her undressed could be justified from a narrative standpoint.

  13. Keulan
    Keulan
    April 27, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

    What’s-her-face is Bloodrose, right?

    • John
      John
      April 27, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

      That’s my headcanon!

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

      That’s my head canon as well – a way to avoid giving Agatha’s roommate a real name. Blood rose is my head canon, since Ruth would’ve just said Meredith if Agatha roomed with her.

  14. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    April 27, 2017 at 12:10 am | #

    This is why my alarm is set for the same time every morning, even if I don’t have to get up. Even if I’m gonna sleep in, I have to get up and pop the pillz before I can crawl back under the covers. Only thing that’s worked.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      April 27, 2017 at 12:12 am | #

      Same here. Alarms work!

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      April 27, 2017 at 6:25 pm | #

      The only reason I have an alarm is my medicine. But it’s at night. No need to force myself to wake up and possibly not get back to sleep.

  15. BBCC
    BBCC
    April 27, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    Carla is BEST hell queen.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      April 27, 2017 at 12:16 am | #

      Hell, heaven, and all in between queen.

      • Killjoy
        Killjoy
        April 27, 2017 at 9:47 am | #

        In Between Queen!

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      April 27, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

      #makehellgreatagain

    • StClair
      StClair
      April 27, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

      After careful consideration, I do think she could take Erin (Mordawwa).

      • Krys Brynhildr
        Krys Brynhildr
        April 27, 2017 at 4:11 pm | #

        I’m not sure Erin was a particularly powerful Hell Queen, really. I mean most of it really seemed to be bureaucracy and politics at work with her.

        I mean, Carla preferring sweet pranks to throwing down might make it a bit harder, but honestly the actual Mordawwa series where they showed her ruling style in action seems like it could easily be derailed by puns destroying her approval rating.

  16. BlueOneTrunk
    BlueOneTrunk
    April 27, 2017 at 12:13 am | #

    In an alternate universe, most of these people were coworkers with Jesus. Funny that

    • John
      John
      April 27, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

      Nah, just Carla.

      • Chris
        Chris
        April 27, 2017 at 12:42 am | #

        Mike was the secret ruler of Satan. In another AU he is Bill Cipher

        • Spaz
          Spaz
          April 27, 2017 at 2:50 am | #

          …………

          I love this.

          but what about Reverse Falls?

          • Spaz
            Spaz
            April 27, 2017 at 2:54 am | #

            never mind. Mike is Bill Cipher. Sober Mike is William Cipher (Reverse Bill).

            It actually works surprisingly well.

            and if you like Gravity Falls and have never heard of the Reverse Falls fan AU, you should look it up.

        • Falling Star
          Falling Star
          April 27, 2017 at 8:26 am | #

          In a different AU he is also Toffee.

  17. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    April 27, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

    I’m pretty sure that Yoda has proven beyond all doubt that height doesn’t matter very much when you have badass mystical powers.

    Also who the hell is whats-her-name and why haven’t we met her yet?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      April 27, 2017 at 12:24 am | #

      Carla has BOTH the height and the badass, mystical powers, and are thus cooler than Yoda.

    • rectilinearpropagation
      rectilinearpropagation
      April 27, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

      It’s probably a character we have met and Ruth just can’t remember their name.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        April 27, 2017 at 7:36 am | #

        IIRC, Agatha’s roommate is unrevealed. Fanon has her as the mysterious “Bloodrose” from IW!

    • CJ
      CJ
      April 27, 2017 at 2:42 am | #

      Amber, probably.

    • Pablo360
      Pablo360
      April 27, 2017 at 12:07 pm | #

      Neither of them would strike the first blow, and Muhammad would take them both down with a surprise attack. Then they’d all go out for baklava, because baklava.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        April 27, 2017 at 2:27 pm | #

        Have you ever tried shawarma? There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don’t know what it is, but I wanna try it.

        • Pablo360
          Pablo360
          April 27, 2017 at 7:03 pm | #

          I could take it or Levant.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      April 27, 2017 at 6:26 pm | #

      Jesus has powers, sure. But not really badass ones. The only time he got aggressive, it was just as a normal man with a whip and tossing tables around.

      Well, unless you count tree withering powers.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        April 27, 2017 at 10:13 pm | #

        TBF, whips are pretty dang dangerous if you know how to use them.

  18. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    April 27, 2017 at 12:15 am | #

    Ah Howard’s sweet naïveté. Oh to be sixteen again.

    *He probably didn’t hear all the facts, but prior statements still stand.

  19. Tenchan
    Tenchan
    April 27, 2017 at 12:16 am | #

    Carla, you’re amazing!

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      April 27, 2017 at 12:18 am | #

      Life gives her lemons, she makes lemon meringue pie (and a snazzy spring-box doohickey for said pie).

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        April 27, 2017 at 12:25 am | #

        And THROWS THE PIE BACK IN THE FACE OF LIFE, because if Carla wants lemon she will FUDGING GET THEM HERSELF.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          April 27, 2017 at 2:31 am | #

          She’ll burn your house down! With LEMONS!

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            April 27, 2017 at 2:48 am | #

            “Yeah! Burn things down! She says what we’re all thinking!”

          • Chris Phoenix
            Chris Phoenix
            April 27, 2017 at 3:23 am | #

            She’ll write words on the walls of the house in lemon juice, so that as it burns the words appear: CARLA! I EXIST! IN YOUR FACE! FAAAAACE!

  20. UltraKyrie
    UltraKyrie
    April 27, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

    CARLA, QUEEN OF HELL

  21. lia47
    lia47
    April 27, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

    aw, howie :,(

    also damn almost had an all ginger strip

  22. Bagge
    Bagge
    April 27, 2017 at 12:23 am | #

    Oh dear. “I forgot to take my meds” are among the scariest words there are for someone in Billie’s position.

    • Socks
      Socks
      April 27, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

      I mean, she’s been on them for, like, a couple days, they aren’t actually doing anything for her yet anyway, and being a couple hours late isn’t a big deal for almost any depression med I can think of. It’s after missing, like, a day or two that things begin to be bad.

      I mean I could just see Billie not knowing that, but still. Erryone needs to chill out a little about that thing.

      Unless…? Plot twist the pills Ruth is talking about are actually those progesterone only birth control pills that you literally need to take at the same time every day or they wear off, and now she’s risking becoming lesbian pregnant with Billie?

      • Socks
        Socks
        April 27, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

        also take a drink every time I say “I mean” or “like” in writing apparently

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          April 27, 2017 at 12:48 am | #

          I’m afraid I would end up drinking rocket fuel in the murder cave if I did…

          • Socks
            Socks
            April 27, 2017 at 1:09 am | #

            Drinking rocket fuel in the murder cave sounds like an innuendo but I cannot, for the life of me figure out, what for.

          • foamy
            foamy
            April 27, 2017 at 3:38 am | #

            Fun note: There are drinking alcohols with a higher ABV than actual, factual rocket fuel.

            • Bagge
              Bagge
              April 27, 2017 at 4:47 am | #

              And Billie knows all about them.

              • foamy
                foamy
                April 27, 2017 at 5:45 am | #

                Well, some of them. I don’t think she’s a big consumer of baijiu, for example :v

                And you could, in principle, use baijiu to bomb London.

                • Bagge
                  Bagge
                  April 27, 2017 at 8:03 am | #

                  That’s oddly specific

                • foamy
                  foamy
                  April 27, 2017 at 11:59 pm | #

                  The Germans managed it!

            • Pablo360
              Pablo360
              April 27, 2017 at 7:08 pm | #

              Well, actual, factual rocket fuel is mostly the elemental components of water, so

              • foamy
                foamy
                April 28, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

                Only in the case hydrogen-fuelled rockets, whose use case is more limited than you might imagine due to bulky tanks and boiloff. Hydrocarbons see more use.

                Also, I was referring to alcoholox rocketry, such as the German V2s. They used a 75% ABV fuel, with a LOX oxidizer, as their propellant. Strictly speaking this is a rare case of a rocket actually having water as part of its fuel, but it was not part of the combustion reaction. The reason for the water mixture was to reduce the combustion chamber temperatures to avoid melting it.

                • Pablo360
                  Pablo360
                  April 28, 2017 at 9:31 am | #

                  E:FB, TIL

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          April 27, 2017 at 1:12 am | #

          I’d rather not get alcohol poisoning if it’s alright with you, thank you very much.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        April 27, 2017 at 2:20 am | #

        She can’t become lesbian pregnant with Billie, because Billie was already born several weeks ago.

    • svata
      svata
      April 27, 2017 at 2:41 am | #

      This reminds me. I’ve been without mine for more than a month now. I really need to get a ride to my former place of residence so that I can obtain them.

  23. JohnnyO
    JohnnyO
    April 27, 2017 at 12:31 am | #

    I wonder how Whatshername has been?

    • Skater Girl (@syleegrrl)
      Skater Girl (@syleegrrl)
      April 27, 2017 at 5:28 am | #

      Boooo! 🙂

  24. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    April 27, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

    Hmm. I wonder if Carla, Dina, and Sal share notes on stealth-highs and stealth-byes. If not, they should. And start the Batman/ninja club. It would be awesome.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      April 27, 2017 at 3:29 pm | #

      “I think somebody started a ninja club.”
      “Whaddaya mean, ya’think?”
      “Well all the proper paperwork was pinned to this peg-board by a replica raptor claw…”
      “Oh, alrigh’ guess dat’s dat den.”
      “…but nobody has actually seen any of the members at the club meetings… it’s… odd.”
      “Well if dey ain’t act’ly got a club.”
      “No no, they have everything in order and checked with us that their stealth was acceptable, but… we technically can’t prove the club exists.”
      “…”
      “…”
      “…”
      “Well, as long as they’re the ones doing the paperwork, I guess.”

      • Jhon
        Jhon
        April 27, 2017 at 10:34 pm | #

        Um, if nobody shows up for meetings, the Student Council will consider the club defunct, which frees its room and budget for a new club.

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          April 27, 2017 at 11:40 pm | #

          What if it merely appears as if nobody came to the meetings, but a precisely worded response to each matter discussed therein appears at some point before the meeting ends?

          And as for room and budget, if the Ninja Club is truly stealthy and clever enough, they could theoretically function without the budget, and within the same room as, say, the chess club.

  25. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    April 27, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

    Don’t pick a fight with Jesus, Carla.

    Because he’s shorter than you and the poor guy gets enough flack.

    He is very good at table throwing, though. He also has a whip.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      April 27, 2017 at 2:18 am | #

      Jesus ain’t so tough. I bet I could take him.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      April 27, 2017 at 2:48 am | #

      He was good at it, but modern tables are remarkably hard to flip over.

  26. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    April 27, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

    “Wait, to rule Hell, doesn’t that mean measuring it?”

    “Physical dimensions are easy enough if I get there. Temperature’s the tricky one. We know sulfur is liquid rather than gas or solid, but we don’t know the ambient pressure so that doesn’t tell us much. I need to design a thermometer that doesn’t melt or crush at arbitrarily high temperatures. That’s not hard either, we’ve done that. The problem is I won’t get to bring a thermometer with me, so I will need to MAKE one there. Which in turn will mean that I need to set up the support industries required to make and calibrate that type of thermometer.”

    “…. so, you’re going to INDUSTRIALIZE Hell?”

    “Well, yeah. Can you just imagine the trade potential with Earth, given all the cheap labor, terrible working conditions, and lack of regulatory oversight? We’ll have every CEO in Earth beating a path to our door… well they kinda are already… and the politicians wouldn’t regulate trade with us even if they WEREN’T in our pockets.”

    “….”

    “And given how OBVIOUS this strategy is, and the fact that the current ruler of Hell hasn’t done it yet, that guy will be such a moron that he is easily toppled!”

    “….”

    “…. or, you know, Hell doesn’t exist and Billie’s just being prissy.”

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 1:07 am | #

      Nah, first order of business is re-negotiating who gets sent to hell. Carla doesn’t want to be surrounded by all these transphobic assholes.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        April 27, 2017 at 1:47 am | #

        But…. aren’t most of the transphobic assholes getting into Heaven or Paradise or whatever?

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          April 27, 2017 at 2:01 am | #

          Pretty sure that’d be kinda off message from ‘Don’t judge, that’s god’s job’, wouldn’t it?

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            April 27, 2017 at 2:05 am | #

            Yeah, but once-saved-always-saved?

            …

            Or is it the whole predestined-elect thing?

            ….

            …. they couldn’t even be bothered to figure out a consistent standard, could they?

            • Smiling Cat
              Smiling Cat
              April 27, 2017 at 2:07 am | #

              Once saved always saved or predestined elect are hardly universally accepted concepts.

              • Reltzik
                Reltzik
                April 27, 2017 at 2:11 am | #

                Is anything?

                • Dandi_Andi
                  Dandi_Andi
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:27 am | #

                  No. Nothing is.

                  I’m not sure you could find a single doctrine that is consistent across all of Christianity. If you accept Jehovah’s Witnesses as Christians (JWs do, many Christian sects do not), even the divinity of Jesus isn’t consistent. Im confident that if I asserted that Christians believe that water is wet, someone could find a sect to serve as a counter example.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:37 am | #

                  I’m fairly certain the only part that’s consistent is they all proclaim to follow Jesus. Whether he’s divine, how you do that or what teachings are all different across the board.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              April 27, 2017 at 2:35 am | #

              Well by those standards, a sinner wouldn’t BE saved or predestined, so it doesn’t matter. They’re sinners and therefore going to hell.

            • Rukduk
              Rukduk
              April 27, 2017 at 2:39 am | #

              We almost did, then the Council of Chalcedon, the Great Schism, and Martin Luther figuratively sent the idea of “standard Christianity” to hell.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                April 27, 2017 at 2:42 am | #

                “Standard Christianity” hahahahaha

                You’re funny.

                • Reltzik
                  Reltzik
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:44 am | #

                  Okay, now I’m imagining a denomination founded on the model of barbershop quartets.

                  …. my brain is a scary place.

                • Rukduk
                  Rukduk
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:52 am | #

                  Ehh, the only one who really thought that was anywhere in the realm of possibility was Emperor Constantine. Everyone else knew it was a fool’s notion.

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  April 27, 2017 at 2:39 pm | #

                  Eh, the Romans knew how to make it work. Lock all the feuding factions in a room, don’t give them any food, water, or toilet breaks until they agreed on a few basic principles. Then take those principles, found a ‘unified’ (‘Catholic’) religion based on them, and kill anyone who disagreed with them.

              • Marsh Maryrose
                Marsh Maryrose
                April 27, 2017 at 10:30 am | #

                Wait wait wait! Even the First Council of Nicea only resulted in a majority opinion, not a unanimous decision.

                Come to think of it, James the Just and the Apostle Paul apparently had some disagreements about church teachings. You could say there hasn’t been a “standard Christianity” since the original Good Friday.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  April 27, 2017 at 11:55 am | #

                  Awwww, you explained the joke. 🙁

                  Real talk though, yeah, Christianity’s been fractured since AT LEAST Paul showed up and told James and Peter he knew their brother/friend better than they did. Surprisingly, since Jesus was relatively recently dead and Paul had NEVER ACTUALLY met him, James and Peter were not endeared to him.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          April 27, 2017 at 2:34 pm | #

          Well, yeah, but Heaven’s full of Mormons, so nobody wants to go there, anyway. They’re the ones who got it right, and they are TERRIBLY smug about it.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            April 27, 2017 at 10:14 pm | #

            “Shh. Those are the Mormons. They think they’re alone up here.”

    • StClair
      StClair
      April 27, 2017 at 1:08 am | #

      And once you’ve got the industry and the thermometer, you can build a Stirling engine and use the temperature differential between Hell and, oh, some other place to get plenty of “work” (in the physics sense) and do away with all that slave labor of the damned.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        April 27, 2017 at 2:07 am | #

        Yeahbut, Stirling engines are more expensive than free slaves.

        …… oooh, sweatshops with all the machines powered by Stirling engines! … AND WE DON’T HAVE TO WASTE A SINGLE JOULE ON AIR CONDITIONING!

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      April 27, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

      I…I think this was essentially the plot for the newest “Doom” video game.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        April 27, 2017 at 2:10 am | #

        …. Doom games have plots?

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          April 27, 2017 at 2:16 am | #

          Yeah, but they don’t matter all that much.

          • Krys Brynhildr
            Krys Brynhildr
            April 27, 2017 at 4:20 pm | #

            Honestly, the best plot tidbit of Doom is probably that most of the reason behind Doomguy’s Hell Rampage is that Demon’s killed his pet rabbit. Like, seriously, thats the number one reason to kill all the demons.

    • JBento
      JBento
      April 27, 2017 at 9:04 am | #

      Related: There’s always that old running gag of the physics exam question, “Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Justify your answer.”

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      April 27, 2017 at 1:01 pm | #

      This is the most beautiful, wondrous thing I’ve ever seen!

  27. Smiling Cat
    Smiling Cat
    April 27, 2017 at 12:56 am | #

    I’m now curious what kinds of meds Ruth is on.

    • StClair
      StClair
      April 27, 2017 at 1:09 am | #

      Some sort of antidepressant is pretty much a given.

      • Smiling Cat
        Smiling Cat
        April 27, 2017 at 2:05 am | #

        I don’t imagine that Billie’s agitation would be justified over such a relatively short delay with most antidepressants. Though it is possible that Billie is just overreacting.

        • Apostate
          Apostate
          April 27, 2017 at 2:13 am | #

          If you don’t establish a habit early on, it can be rough getting someone to take antidepressants as scheduled. Depression itself causes resistance to treatment.

          • Smiling Cat
            Smiling Cat
            April 27, 2017 at 5:48 am | #

            Makes sense. Probably didn’t occur to me because my experience was different (also I’ve gone through discontinuation syndrome twice because of a pharmacy screwup and a medical test, so I’m currently pathological about taking my meds).

        • Benjy
          Benjy
          April 27, 2017 at 7:25 am | #

          Also I start showing withdrawal signs over just a few hours. You don’t dick around with meds that are replacing your brain chemicals.

          • Dragon_Nataku
            Dragon_Nataku
            April 27, 2017 at 11:31 am | #

            Some of my meds started giving me side effects day one. Some of them, like you said, gave me withdrawal symptoms in a few hours. Some of them I still had side effects from years after I stopped taking them. Yeah, don’t screw with brain-warping stuff.

            In related news, some of them will make you sick if you don’t take them with food so maybe that’s why she had to take them with lunch.

        • Li
          Li
          April 27, 2017 at 8:52 am | #

          Also, what makes you think Billie’s agitation is justified? She’s hanging on by the skin of her teeth here, lashing out because she’s terrified by how close she came to losing Ruth and also because she sees keeping Ruth on schedule as one of the only productive things she can do to help. I would not assume her response here is proportionate.

        • tenkiforecast
          tenkiforecast
          April 27, 2017 at 11:14 am | #

          From what I understand, it depends on both the person and the medication itself. For me, if I forget my zoloft it’s not the end of the world and if I take it the next day, it stabilizes. However, I take a relatively small dosage and my depression right now is mild.

          I imagine Ruth is probably on a higher dosage and she’s just starting the medication. It could be one that does not linger like my zoloft, so…possibly a big deal.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      April 27, 2017 at 2:15 am | #

      Oh, they gave her The Good Shit.

      The Good Shit: When you need results right the hell now.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      April 27, 2017 at 1:03 pm | #

      anti-depressant definitely and probably some things designed to get her through to functional while she’s waiting for the anti-depressant to kick in.

  28. Historyman68
    Historyman68
    April 27, 2017 at 1:09 am | #

    She disappeared from me without a trace. Did she ever marry old Whatshisface?
    I remember the face, but I can’t recall the name. Now I wonder how Whatsername has been.

    • missilentmurmur
      missilentmurmur
      April 27, 2017 at 5:49 am | #

      My first thought as well

  29. Minder
    Minder
    April 27, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

    Billie is queen of the medicine fussing

    • Minder
      Minder
      April 27, 2017 at 1:16 am | #

      Note that this isn’t a bad thing and I didn’t mean it to sound that way, wish I had someone to remember what I have/haven’t taken in a day!

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      April 27, 2017 at 2:14 am | #

      See that girl
      With Bactine
      Diggin’ the fussing queen

  30. Architex
    Architex
    April 27, 2017 at 1:16 am | #

    DAMN I will figure out who Agatha’s roommate is EVENTUALLY

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 2:20 am | #

      Bloodrose.

  31. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    April 27, 2017 at 2:11 am | #

    This is a nice, light strip. Which is good, because I really don’t have the mental facilities to go deep, tonight. Had the girlfriend over for drinks, last night, and partied a little too hard.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 2:19 am | #

      Ouch. Take care of yourself! Also, drink lots of water! You seem to be doing better lately. *hugs*

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        April 27, 2017 at 2:37 am | #

        I’ve got 59 fluid ounces of orange juice floating around in my system. Does that count? At any rate, I’m at least feeling better lately, largely thanks to you fine folks. Good enough to drink til “Where’d these pretzels come from? They’re awesome!” has been said at least three times in the span of an hour, then wake up the next morning with just sluggishness and slower wits as punishment.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          April 27, 2017 at 2:38 am | #

          Water is good for hangovers. I’d recommend keeping at least a bit near the bed. Not coffee though, coffee will dehydrate you.

          • Delicious Taffy
            Delicious Taffy
            April 27, 2017 at 2:59 am | #

            Oh, I’ve been down the coffee route. Never again. The water here gives me heartburn, for some reason, though, so I tend to spend a lot on flavored drinks and juice.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              April 27, 2017 at 3:15 am | #

              Yikes! Yes, go with juice in that case.

  32. BenRG
    BenRG
    April 27, 2017 at 2:22 am | #

    Suddenly, I feel the need to offer Howard my support. I get the impression that Ruth has been a strong one all his life and the thought of her being sick and needing help disturbs him on a very fundamental level.

    Speaking as someone whose diabetes is controlled through a small mountain of pills, I can confirm that it is very difficult when you’re starting on a long-term course of medication to remember to take them and to take them a the right time. This is especially the case if you’ve got other things on your mind.

    Meanwhile, Carla has been exposed as one of those people who can creep up on anyone in any environment!

    • Valerie
      Valerie
      April 27, 2017 at 3:06 am | #

      Imagine if Carla and Dina teamed up. THE POWER.

    • Vivid Grim
      Vivid Grim
      April 27, 2017 at 5:09 am | #

      hell, I’ve been on psychiatric medications since I was ten, and I still miss a couple days a week.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 11:53 am | #

      I used to occasionally forget my epilepsy meds. Drove my mother mad. Forgetting one or two doses won’t kill Ruth, but admittedly, yes, she should try to get every dose she can.

      • K the Nerd
        K the Nerd
        April 27, 2017 at 10:29 pm | #

        Sorry to hear you have/had it, but on the other hand: Hey, epilepsy buddy! Currently on Vimpat and Keppra. For the seizures, anyway.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          April 28, 2017 at 12:01 am | #

          I had it for about 16 years. Thus far seem to have grown out of them but hopefully, but apparently my uncle got it when he was in his 30s-40s so we’ll see.

          I took phenobarbital when I had it. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening, sometimes both.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      April 27, 2017 at 1:05 pm | #

      Yeah, Ruth has actively tried to be her brother’s protector and has mentioned regularly intervening on Howard’s behalf to take the abuse meant for him. So, her being safe and well probably means a lot to him and makes him deeply nervous on an almost primal level.

  33. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    April 27, 2017 at 3:26 am | #

    Oh my God, stop the mental images of Carla dominating Jesus. I’m pretty damn sure you go to Hell for stuff like that…

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 3:42 am | #

      Eh, pick a thing, I’m sure you’ll find at least one denomination that believes you’ll go to hell for it.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      April 27, 2017 at 4:45 am | #

      Ok, that mental image is just freaking hilarious to me.

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        April 27, 2017 at 4:57 am | #

        And Jesus saying “Oh my, I know I said I came to serve and not to be served but this isn’t quite what I meant.”

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      April 27, 2017 at 8:29 am | #

      For some reason my eyes registered “mental” as “hentai” and made the images worse.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      April 27, 2017 at 10:45 am | #

      Somehow this reminds me of that Ghastly comic where Buddha is trying to explain the Eightfold Path to Cosplay Girl, while she keeps picturing him as a bishounen in increasingly inappropriate costumes.

      “If you want to attain enlightenment, then you must stop drawing pictures of me all tarted up like a Catholic choir boy.”

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        April 27, 2017 at 2:26 pm | #

        “Abandon your worldly desires”
        “Like that’s easy with a godly body in front of me!”

      • Jhon
        Jhon
        April 27, 2017 at 10:48 pm | #

        Prince Siddhartha is totally a bishōnen. The ideal of masculine beauty.

  34. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    April 27, 2017 at 3:27 am | #

    I am reminded here of the lovely Appalachian folk belief that Jesus is the only man to have ever been EXACTLY six feet tall.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      April 27, 2017 at 4:00 am | #

      That’s an oddly specific belief.

    • Knayt
      Knayt
      April 27, 2017 at 3:11 pm | #

      You’ve got to love how the measurement system he fits perfectly happens to be neither the world standard nor one that existed anywhere circa 0 CE, but instead a U.S. specific thing that still exists to a limited extent in Great Britain and Ireland and basically nowhere else.

  35. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 27, 2017 at 3:30 am | #

    HE IS RISEN !

    • JBento
      JBento
      April 27, 2017 at 8:59 am | #

      But not by much. I mean, 5’1”? Pfeh, that’s not much rising.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        April 27, 2017 at 12:31 pm | #

        HE IS INDEED RISEN

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          April 27, 2017 at 6:05 pm | #

          Well, at least you aren’t referencing the “he is risen” from Slipshine.

  36. Kingmonster
    Kingmonster
    April 27, 2017 at 4:21 am | #

    And Billie can burn beneath Carla.

    What? I’m getting tired of Billie’s crap. That business was mostly her fault to begin with.

    • Southern Belle
      Southern Belle
      April 27, 2017 at 7:38 am | #

      Uhh, pretty sure Ruth was already pretty severely depressed before Billie ever came along. And Billie is battling her own depression here as well. She may not have made things better, but this certainly isn’t her fault.

      Also, people are not always rational in assigning blame when dealing with the wonderful cocktail that is suicidal depression, codependency, fear of their partner’s suicidal depression, and fear of their partner’s family / lack of safe spaces. It’s gonna take some time for Billie to get over the Carla thing.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        April 27, 2017 at 10:25 am | #

        I read that as “Carla’s involvement and the subsequent reveal” was mostly Billie’s fault, not “All of Ruth’s problems were Billie’s fault.

        If Billie hadn’t enlisted Carla to check up on Ruth for her, no revelation.
        If Billie hadn’t blown Carla off when she came to her in a panic about Ruth wanting to die, she could have handled it more quietly, thus no revelation.

        • Southern Belle
          Southern Belle
          April 27, 2017 at 12:37 pm | #

          …that’s a fair interpretation, and one I hadn’t considered. >.>

          I’m a bit touchy about the Billie/Ruth plot. A lot of it hits a bit too close to home.

        • KingMonster
          KingMonster
          April 27, 2017 at 1:46 pm | #

          Thank you. Pretty much every thought about the situation properly summarized.

        • Fart Captor
          Fart Captor
          April 27, 2017 at 2:45 pm | #

          I still get why she’s still mad. Misplaced anger is particularly hard to let go when the alternative is pointing that anger inwards. Considering how Billie reacted when Dr Beverly incorrectly praised her for being the one who brought Ruth in, I’m convinced that’s what she’d end up doing if she weren’t scapegoating Carla so hard.

          Hopefully she’ll be able to work on that whenever she finally starts her first therapy session, and will continue just avoiding Carla for now

  37. Commodore Jeep-Eep
    Commodore Jeep-Eep
    April 27, 2017 at 6:49 am | #

    Oh god, not her again.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      April 27, 2017 at 7:41 am | #

      Is there anybody in this comic you actually like?

      • StClair
        StClair
        April 27, 2017 at 7:48 am | #

        Some people like hating things.

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        April 27, 2017 at 4:59 pm | #

        Becky is BAE; Joyce is fun.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          April 27, 2017 at 5:52 pm | #

          And I want more of Joyce’s sister.

    • JBento
      JBento
      April 27, 2017 at 8:58 am | #

      Oh motherfucking goddess again, I think you mean. I wouldn’t mind a comic that was literally all either Carla or Dina.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        April 27, 2017 at 1:07 pm | #

        I’d say Carla, Becky, and Dina have largely stolen the show in a similar way that Leslie did in Shortpacked!

  38. Benjy
    Benjy
    April 27, 2017 at 6:59 am | #

    I’m very happy she’s still on her meds. Going on mine was probably the only good decision I’ve ever made

  39. CJ
    CJ
    April 27, 2017 at 7:28 am | #

    OT: Someone here once provided some links to “How not to be a dick to people with depression”. I don’t remember when so searching the forums would be rather time consuming. If the link sits in you bookmarks folder and it is easy to repost, could you please do so?
    There a suddenly three people around me where its getting worse at the moment and I need some pointers.

    • Blob
      Blob
      April 27, 2017 at 10:39 am | #

      XO Jane has by that name – not sure if that’s what you’re thinking of?

      • Blob
        Blob
        April 27, 2017 at 10:43 am | #

        And I’m apparently super untalented at HTML. Le sigh…

        • CJ
          CJ
          April 27, 2017 at 11:28 am | #

          Thanks. The link still worked 🙂

    • Lin
      Lin
      April 27, 2017 at 10:42 am | #

      This one?

  40. Luna
    Luna
    April 27, 2017 at 7:52 am | #

    I for one would gladly support Carla’s ascension to the throne.

  41. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    April 27, 2017 at 8:31 am | #

    Carla as Queen of Hell is actually a terrifying prospect.

  42. hof1991
    hof1991
    April 27, 2017 at 9:28 am | #

    If she is queen of Hell, does she end up marrying Deadpool?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      April 27, 2017 at 10:50 am | #

      Only over Psylocke’s cold, rotting corpse.

      [/shipper]

      • JBento
        JBento
        April 27, 2017 at 12:57 pm | #

        Seeing as Psylocke hasn’t been unpunchable since she was turned from a badass, armoured battle telepath into a weaboo’s jackass fantasy, I totally support that cold, rotting corpse thing.

  43. Thomas
    Thomas
    April 27, 2017 at 10:14 am | #

    The first panel. That’s totally a thing.

    Good thing she remembered *before* the floor meeting starts, ’cause that meeting will drain her energy like nobody’s business.

  44. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    April 27, 2017 at 1:16 pm | #

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: *fussy mom voice* No, Ruth, you need to be more careful about that. If you have a watch or a phone, set periodic reminders, especially if you need to take it multiple times a day, or set aside a time you’re very unlikely to miss if it’s once a day. Those meds are your life and it’s really important that you get a routine built around that.

    *continues to fret and worry*

    Okay, yeah, maybe meds are the things that bring out my inner mom like nothing else.

    Panel 2: Oof, that look Ruth is giving back to Howie, trying to decide how much of the truth to give, whether or not he’s worried she’s on drugs, and worrying about her image as the strong one for him being shaken even further. There’s a lot happening under the surface as she makes her choice.

    Panel 3: And this is a good compromise. Truthful, but not telling the whole truth. And it’s probably a good thing, because the last two times he’s seen her, she’s been “sick” in a way that was noticeable or made apparent to him, so this is probably something he’s been worrying about for awhile, so it’s good of Ruth to assuage his concerns and let him know that she’s treating whatever’s wrong.

    Panel 4: This is a sweet moment. Ruth knows that the medicine might not work, that she might need others and that the medicine is not likely to forever make her struggles with depression go away once and for all, so she doesn’t overpromise and Howie’s earnest concern of a question is just adorable.

    These two really love each other and that’s made really apparent here.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 1:44 pm | #

      You would make a great mom, and not just for med reasons.

      And yes, Howie and Ruth are PRECIOUSLY adorable! Best siblings? POSSIBLY. Competing with Joss/Joyce if nothing else.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        April 27, 2017 at 3:28 pm | #

        In my (admittedly limited) experience, the best parents are people who are convinced in their hearts that they would make terrible parents. They had bad childhoods, and are certain that, if entrusted with children, they would treat them as badly as they were treated. Such people make very self-aware parents, and are very deliberate in every move they make with their child. I see a bit of that in Ruth – that panel 2 moment, where she’s probably thinking, “What would my Grandpa do in this moment?” and then specifically NOT doing that, and doing a good thing, instead.

        Dunno Cerb all that well, but yeah, I could see it.

  45. Kintrex
    Kintrex
    April 27, 2017 at 1:23 pm | #

    How old is Howie, again? His speech patterns have lately seemed to me less childish and more like someone with Asperger’s. This includes his fixation on Game of Thrones. If Howie has Asperger’s, it could be an interesting way to explore Clint’s abuse while keeping Clint distinctive from the other abusive fathers in this comic.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      April 27, 2017 at 1:25 pm | #

      Old enough to have a driver’s license, so sixteen at least.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        April 27, 2017 at 3:30 pm | #

        He is apparently 16. 4 years younger than Ruth.

    • Dragon_Nataku
      Dragon_Nataku
      April 27, 2017 at 5:49 pm | #

      Having abusive, controlling parental figures can often lead to stunted maturation so he could very well be neurotypical, just hasn’t had the room to grow as a person because Jackass Grandfather is a control freak.

  46. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    April 27, 2017 at 1:33 pm | #

    Panel 5: Ah, I see Billie has the same fussy mom habit I do when a friend of mine forgets their meds.

    But more seriously, that distress is so palpable there. Like, she’s not some old person with nearly a decade of history with various psychiatric medicine, she’s someone for whom this is probably the first mentally ill person she’s dating. Or at least the first that is receiving regular medication.

    So, yeah, she’s going to be more scared about missed times and be more distressed in general when her loved one forgets. Likely because she’s fairly well haunted by the image of Ruth on her bed, staring blankly at the wall.

    I want to hug Billie and assure her that it will get easier over time.

    Panel 6: Of course Billie is still pissed off at Carla. Carla took a giant risk that did a lot of good, but also put Ruth in a dangerous spot that has ended with them being able to be more public about their relationship and Ruth getting help, but also being in a terrible position with her grandpa and even more locked in to his awfulness.

    And Carla knows that now. Like, just like Sarah and Joyce initially, she has had positive experiences with parents and didn’t even think that Ruth’s home situation could be actively dangerous to her.

    Plus, there’s also just the fact that Carla makes a good vector point of frustration for Billie. She was able to intervene and help Ruth get better in a way that Billie for all her effort could not (because depression does not care that someone is in love with you, but still, Billie’s not used to that and definitely hasn’t internalized it and still believes its on her to “save” Ruth.

    Additionally, she was someone to vent her frustration at not being able to directly help Ruth, who did it “wrong”.

    Like, yeah, these are not good reasons, but they are emotionally powerful reasons and right now Carla is the focus of all that pent-up frustration to Billie.

    Panel 7: Carla is joy. Just pure unadulterated joy. Like… okay here’s the thing.

    Carla grew up trans in Indiana. There is no way she hasn’t had violent hateful statements about how much a person looks forward to her burning in Hell thrown at her regularly growing up.

    So for her to quickly turn it around like this, to take pride in being the most badass warrior of Hell it ever knew? That’s some deep powerful stuff right there and incredibly meaningful from a trans perspective.

    Like, her experiences with the Bible are likely centered around people trying to hurt her with it, so for her to turn it all around to the point that she’ll say she’d rule Hell and she’d be able to kick Jesus’s ass?

    That’s powerful.

    Also obligatory Night of the Living Dead Reference: “When there’s no more room in Hell, Carla will grind the Earth.”

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      April 27, 2017 at 1:47 pm | #

      Carla is a honest to god treasure. I love her and seeing her confidence makes me SO SO HAPPY! <3

      Blech. Romero. I will accept it with the addition of Carla but blech.

    • Dragon_Nataku
      Dragon_Nataku
      April 27, 2017 at 7:50 pm | #

      I just assumed Carla had one of those parents that was like “my toddler has decided they are a girl” and just rolled with it so everyone around her always only knew her as a girl.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        April 27, 2017 at 7:57 pm | #

        That Patreon strip with lil!Carla didn’t give any pronouns, so that could be possible.

  47. Dark
    Dark
    April 27, 2017 at 2:18 pm | #

    Don’t pretend you don’t know, Carla.

  48. Schol-R-LEA
    Schol-R-LEA
    April 27, 2017 at 5:52 pm | #

    Howard’s going to fall head-over-gonads for Carla, isn’t he?

    Just remember Howie, if your gonna lick a boot, you might as well start at the sole.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      April 27, 2017 at 6:09 pm | #

      Ain’t gonna work, unless ‘he’ is actually a transfeminine egg.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        April 27, 2017 at 6:15 pm | #

        Yeah, Carla is homoromantic. Now granted, incompatible orientations have never stopped a person from falling for someone else.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          April 27, 2017 at 7:00 pm | #

          And even if they are transfem, they’re also a bit too allosexual to for me to see working well with Carla.

          (I know that I’ll let down any ace person who was interested in me romantically, as frankly, I know that, as I’m frankly near borderline hypersexual it wouldn’t work for me, and would be more emotionally healthy for all parties for that kind of ill-starred enterprise never to occur.)

          • Commodore Jeep-Eep
            Commodore Jeep-Eep
            April 27, 2017 at 7:01 pm | #

            Why I no proofread?

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            April 27, 2017 at 7:36 pm | #

            Eh, ace-allo relationships have ended well before. It’s not unheard of, even with sex repulsed aces.

            • Commodore Jeep-Eep
              Commodore Jeep-Eep
              April 27, 2017 at 7:43 pm | #

              Maybe, but with that sort of horndog?

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                April 27, 2017 at 7:56 pm | #

                Yeah, with Howard specifically, that’s unlikely to work out.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  April 27, 2017 at 10:18 pm | #

                  Give Howard a couple of years – especially out from under his grandfather’s thumb and with a bit of therapy. I’m not really believing his faux horndog act is anything but performance. Cover for whatever’s actually going in there he doesn’t dare show.

            • Li
              Li
              April 27, 2017 at 8:25 pm | #

              like BBCC said. Some aces are also hypersexual. Asexual really doesn’t tell you anything about someone’s interest in sex.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                April 27, 2017 at 8:37 pm | #

                Yeah, lack of sexual attraction doesn’t necessarily equal low libido.

  49. Schol-R-LEA
    Schol-R-LEA
    April 27, 2017 at 5:52 pm | #

    *you’re

  50. trlkly
    trlkly
    April 27, 2017 at 6:38 pm | #

    Now we know for sure how little Howard knows about what’s going on. I wonder why he thinks thy drove all the way up there.

  51. Kugai
    Kugai
    April 27, 2017 at 7:42 pm | #

    The Coup will take place five minutes after Carla gets there.

  52. vlademir1
    vlademir1
    April 27, 2017 at 11:23 pm | #

    Seriously all the way through this and not one mention of nor quote from Milton? When I’m like 23 hours later reading comics than normal?

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 10h
GET UP, PETER. KILL AND EAT
Picture Bible
Action Bible
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that alistair and lolly superdrowned
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
today in #9chickweedlane i learned alistair and lolly drowned
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
wonder what that's code for
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
Dumbing of Age: "Goon" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Goon
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reposted by David M Willis!
thereal-aridynamic.bsky.social's user avatar
The REAL Ari-Dynamic @thereal-aridynamic.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
man hard to believe it's been 10 years since those crazy kids were flying around the courthouse mall like that, I tells ya
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reposted by David M Willis!
pseudonymjones.bsky.social's user avatar
pseudonym jones @pseudonymjones.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
“last fall I had this idea for a zine about Dilbert quitting his job and trying to learn to be happy and coming to terms with the fact that he’s trans actually” (posted 4/18/2022)
A sketch of Dilbert sitting at his desk, looking worn out. “There used to be a light inside of me,” he thinks, “when did I let this place snuff it out?”
Dilbert, now with slightly longer hair, eyeliner, and earrings, is putting on a scarf. After wrapping it around her neck, it springs up like her tie did in the comics. She smiles, her mouth visible for the first time.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
how can it be the most popular if it's the only one that's not sold out???????????
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
today in #9chickweedlane i learned alistair and lolly drowned
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Yesterday and today and probably also tomorrow and the next day in #9ChickweedLane I learned you can fill a whole week of strips with drawing the same two submerged heads kissing
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Riot police" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Riot police
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reposted by David M Willis!
depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social's user avatar
depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
very into these inconvenient, extremely long and pointy shoes that spread across europe in the 14th century and made everyone so horny and effeminate that the church went full on moral panic mode and a bunch of kings made them illegal!!! also everyone got bunions
They were a controversial fashion and faced criticism from several quarters. In 1368, Charles V of France issued an edict banning their construction and use in Paris. An English poem from 1388 complained that men were unable to kneel in prayer because their toes were too long.[37] The c. 1440 morality play Castle of Perseverance includes the footwear in the
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
WON'T ANYONE LET SUNSTREAKER JERK OFF IN PEACE
storybook illustration of sunstreaker sitting down in the extreme foreground holding a rag and a bottle of wax while devastator in the extreme background approaches ominously
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reposted by David M Willis!
jonrosenberg.bsky.social's user avatar
jon rosenberg @jonrosenberg.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Stop calling them 'tweets' already. You're embarrassing yourself. They're called "bluejaculations" here
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Weathering the colors a little bit
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
paint has struck again
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(july 3, 2026)
Becky and Carla!  One is |:| and the other is 8D
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Sometimes I forget I have an original Sunstreaker! During Shortpacked! times I was gifted a giant pile of G1 from a fan, and this guy has trouble finding purchase in my memory. The tooling was lost/destroyed decades ago, so he's never been reissued.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
we have a proper dental office with scooby doo mystery inc on the monitors
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Do the other yellow pages have a gorilla
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amirtalai.bsky.social's user avatar
Amir Talai @amirtalai.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
zohran come to Los Angeles!!!!!!!!!
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davidmariotte.bsky.social's user avatar
David Mariotte @davidmariotte.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
As I'm working through unemployment stuff, now's a great time to remind folks that I'm very employable! I am seeking full-time comics editorial work (or in a related field), and in the meantime, I am also freelance writing and editing! Hit me up: dmariottewebhost@gmail.com or www.davidmariotte.com
header image - David Mariotte's Portfolio
www.davidmariotte.com
David Mariotte's Portfolio
The official home of writer and editor David Mariotte online!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Yesterday and today and probably also tomorrow and the next day in #9ChickweedLane I learned you can fill a whole week of strips with drawing the same two submerged heads kissing
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
really want to rescore this episode with Sound Mound's "It's Never Too Late (For Now)"
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23617834... winner never paid and didn't answer any messages, and it's been ten days, so hey, guess what we're relisting
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
look that was a different Dave Willis, I'm innocent
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
drew this panel 9 months ago, so if you conceived that night, your baby aughta be born now
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9m
(july 2, 2025)
dorothy and joyce are outside
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Dumbing of Age: "Facetious" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Facetious
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kendrawcandraw.bsky.social's user avatar
Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
We are at 1,205 backers and nearly $35k with 9 days to go!! If we can hit 40k I’ll post more nude RHS characters on here
kendrawcandraw.bsky.social's user avatarKendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
Anywayyyyyy, it is actually the last day of pride month and there's 10 days left to back my very gay, very trans medieval fantasy adventure comedy REAL HERO SHIT: HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! Support a queer here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/iro...
header image - Real Hero Shit Book 2: Harder than It Looks by Kendra Wells
www.kickstarter.com
Real Hero Shit Book 2: Harder than It Looks by Kendra Wells
Grab the second volume of the queer fantasy adventures of a disparate band of mismatched adventurers: Real Hero Shit!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
paint has struck again
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