Discussion (160) ¬
[ Comments RSS ]
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 20d
Gwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Ash Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Katie @katiestp.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Hunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
DaisyFM ✒︎ @daisyfm.net ⋅ 2d
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
Loading ...
(he/him)
⚧
New game! BOLTED 
Joe: “…Joe dun Joe’d it up”
::Tanooki Suit Sound::
“The ladies cannot resist Faz’s weird-stone-pyramid-probably-intended-to-mark-a-parking-space disguise!”
That’s a lamp post, isn’t it?
Probably? I can’t tell if the black line is part of it, or part of the background.
Does it continue above Joe’s speech bubble or not?
Definitely doesn’t. Short lamp, then? Tall traffic sign, maybe?
And why does it appear to be rotated at a slight angle? Why does the black line possibly extending from it appear slightly off-center? Why is it located right in the middle of the sidewalk where people will walk into it?
So many questions! Tell me your secrets, possible lamp post! This means something, this is important!
It’s to indicate that Faz’s disguise skills are still imperfect.
Or that Faz has been zapped by the Kelvans.
Faz had to learn shapeshifting on his own. He didn’t have any other Dominion around to teach him.
It’s a sign about the parking there.
There’s a 50% chance Faz gets distracted by Blowjob Cat, which is a few blocks away (in front of an elementary school).
It’s a retro-style lamppost with the large glass globe at the top. See Google Streetview; the address is 103 W Kirkwood Ave.
Please don’t doxx lamps like that. They have a right to privacy, even if they’re out in public.
No it’s not. That’s in front of Fountain Square Mall, whose address is….
*checks Google Maps*
……never mind.
Yes, it’s a lamp post.
This is where they are.
…I thought that was a streetlight.
I think Sarah is the one that deserves the mocking text Joe, but A for effort. As for action… C.
Joe and Sarah are definitely not on speaking terms right now, so I don’t think he’d be texting her, regardless.
Would he even have her number? They’ve never exactly been close.
It’s cool, Joyce overshares everything with Sarah anyway. Two birds, one stone, plausible deniability.
I don’t think Joyce has told anybody she and Joe are texting buddies. They certainly don’t seem as friendly IRL as they are over text.
Joyce educating Joe on the finer points of the importance of his actions seemed pretty close to me.
Yeah, but that usually happens in ‘private’ (if you count a public place where no one who actually cares about what the two of you are saying as ‘private’). She doesn’t talk to him like that in front of any of their respective friends.
Well, Joyce is actively trying to break up the happy couple of Jacob and Raidah. She’s just doing it for Sarah while Sarah encourages it with the idea that Joyce is the one who will catch Jacob’s eye.
So the mocking text is being sent to the right party.
Faz got away very fazt.
Gotta go fazt!
Good job Joe
“Faz was distracted by the sexy.”
How do you even pronounce “Faznthony”?
Just like that.
With great difficulty.
Helps if you’re Daffy Duck.
Faa-zin-thuh-nee
…or maybe Faaz’n-thony where the ‘N is pronounced like the breathy afterthought othat is the R in macabre, but I can’t see Joe going to that much effort
Is macabre of French origin? Because it sure looks French.
When I was a kid I asked my father “what does ‘macabre’ mean?” He told me an involved French folk tale about three brothers who killed their sister’s unsuitable boyfriend, buried his head in a pot and planted parsley over it, and gave it to her. “That’s macabre”, my father said, and I have never forgotten it.
Other French borrowings in English that end in “-re” include “acre”, “theatre”, “centre”, and “metre”.
although in the US we “reformed” the spelling of the last 3 of those…
Actually, in the US, those involved with theatre will (as per my personal experiences and second-hand information on the matter) typically spell the profession theatre and the building theater, so as to better distinguish them. Though this may perhaps also be because theatre folk (despite also being very free-spirited and goofy) tend to be rather firm-minded about propriety and what constitutes proper presentation, so the appeal of strictly adhering to international spelling due to it being more “stylish” may have more to do with it.
Like Xanth. Say “Piers Anthony,” then say “Xanth”, then say “Faz-Xanth-ony.” Right?
Wow. That works. And since Piers is an irredeemable pervy scumbucket, that… well. Yeah.
Is this something I don’t know about in real life or just judging from his books?
We are not actually sure about real life. …But his books and series tend to have … ISSUES … nay, entire publication runs, sealed in mylar … with underage children encountering sexual content. To put it sort of blandly.
The general advice for reading an Anthony series is “read until the one that’s just over your creepiness threashold, then stop”, because it’s generally only gonna get creepier from there.
–Dave, for examole, the Incarnations of Immortality series went a little off the rails with War, rather further with Evil, and right over the concrete barriers with Night, which volume he had to get publiahed at an indie publisher, since it would never EVER have passed muster at his previous one. And Xanth has been medium creepy for a couple dozen books now, though there it’s a type I can take – but it had distinct misogynistic elements even in book 1.
*stares at last panel in abject horror*
Is that because you noticed the probably-woman in Panel 1, who Faz would also have noticed?
I didn’t realize that, OH NO X 2.
I noticed the hideous Ugg boots (s)he’s wearing. Only one other person in this comic has that kind of abysmal fashion sense…
And we have to find out who she is.
Why? Faz is obviously just out of panel a few steps ahead, right? Right?
Faz wants to run around and explore college. I say let him. He can befriend the guy who runs the local comic book store, Ninja Rick who believes only the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Naruto are worth reading.
Naruto?
Unforgivable!
Vagabond is the only true comic! It’s obvious because it’s long.
You had one job, Joe…
*facepalm*
A superhero couldn’t corral Faz, I don’t think Joe ever had a chance of it.
Considering how many superheroes are shapely women in skintight outfits, I imagine some of them could do it.
Yeah, but she’s his stepsister. Gross.
That would not hinder The Faz where he will point out some social or legal precedent that exists somewhere in the world where that would not be “squicky”.
Hm. Okay, Anne and Aaron have a daughter, Ashley.
They get divorced, and Anne (who gets custody of Ashley) marries Brendan. Brendan himself is also divorced, with a son of his own, Brian.
That would mean that Ashley is Brian’s step-sister, but unrelated. Right?
Anyways, Brian is going through an angsty teen phase and doesn’t like Anne much (because she’s not his real mom, Anne!), and since he’s already seventeen he takes off early for college, maintaining family contact with only short, grudging phone calls at Christmas and Father’s Day. And even those taper off after a few years.
Ashley, meanwhile, is finding their small town repressive and also moves out, to attend a different college in another state. Returning several years later, having graduated, for Homecoming*, she attends a concert by local-band-made-not-quite-big but they have a small record contract and some success on YouTube and the local rock station plays them sometimes, and there she runs into a cute, sweet guy about her own age, smart, with just the kind of dry wit she adores. They hit it off and hook up for drinks or just to hang out sometimes; but thanks to the noise at the concert when they introduced themselves she thought he said his name was “Bryant,” and they didn’t realize they were technically related through marriage (although not by blood) until she brought him home to meet her parents that Thanksgiving, which was one more awkward than usual.
Once they got past the mortification and familial recriminations, though, they decided that, not being blood relatives and having no history of actually living in the same house (beyond a vaguely-remembered presence–on both sides–announced by the distant slamming of a door and muffled music drowning out parental ire)–not to mention being legally adults who can make their own decisions, Mom, to just keep it casual for now and see where (and if) it goes.
Because, it ends up, they really do get along very well, and lord knows when one of them says, “Jesus, Dad,” into the phone, the other knows exactly how they feel.
The End.
* This plot point makes sense to Americans, right? Sorry, is Canadian.
Ahh, the most common superpower…
I am disappointed that Danny and Amber aren’t getting it on. The two of them are a couple I hope to get back together.
Danny and Amber were never a couple to begin with.
No, but I have it from a reliable source that the two of them blurred that line in her bed, at one point.
I don’t think Amber should be dating ANYONE for a while.
And neither should Danny. They need to figure themselves out. But hey, they’re still friends, right?
As long as Amber refuses to pursue any kind of treatment for her pretty serious issues I think it’s in Danny’s best interests to steer clear.
But the shenanigans would be interesting, since Amber and Amazi-Girl aren’t talking or sharing memories anymore.
I’d be much more worried about Amber if they got back together. Danny seems to understand Amber well enough that he isn’t affected by her angry outbursts, and he’s not in any physical danger from her.
Amber, on the other hand, might not be ready to handle the amount of support and affection he would try to provide, and it could end up feeding into her self-loathing. If she’s gonna date right now, she needs someone who is better at knowing when to give her space, or just let her vent some of that self-loathing without trying to argue as if she just needed to be persuaded. Like Walky did when they talked up on the roof.
And I doubt Amazi-Girl would be happy when she found out.
Not going to happen in the near future, so …
If you’re still texting, you’re still friends, so good for Joe and Joyce
You’d have to mess up worse for Joyce to drop you as a friend.
*plays “Runaway” from the For Your Eyes Only soundtrack on a random car stereo*
Knowing Faz’s current location is half the battle.
The other half is leaving him there
keeping him there*
Fixed that for you.
Both is right.
Doesn’t loctite or Gorilla have an adhesive that is Faz capable?
A Faztener, as it were?
Unfortunately, the other half is knowing his current velocity.
–Dave, kid has potential fields to explore
::sad trombone::
:: yakety sax music fading into distance::
–Dave, pat him on his li’l round head, feed him a biscuit
I wonder if the third panel is intentionally ironic or if Joe thinks he can just pull it off better? Also, this won’t be good, he’s lost Faz before they walked a single block, Joe has no idea what he has agreed to or what he’s just unleashed.
Well let’s look at his specific wording “not working for you.” It’s not “no one should ever use third person ever” but rather “faz specifically should not use the third person.” Joe probably thinks he can pull off third person better than faz because Literally Anyone can pull off third person better than faz.
Faz can pull off the third person better than Faz! Faz does it frequently!
And Faz was never seen again but Amber never found out.
Makes sense to me. Joe told Faz to stop referring to himself in the third person, but having no real self, when he agreed to do so he ceased to exist.
One of these days, Faz is going to harass the wrong woman and hurt her, or harass the wrong woman and get hurt.
He weighs like 6kg, so at least there’s that.
I’m very much leaning towards the latter. He’s tiny, and he might be a total annoyance but he hasn’t been see to be touchy. Plus, it’s a campus, good chance everyone is carrying pepper spray. Especially after who just got stabbed and went to jail.
Kind of like this.
And not braking any toe.
Children’s boutique, uh? Wonder if Faz went there.
Wonder just how much a given child bouquet costs there. Discounts for providing your own children to be arranged?
–Dave, the language of toddler flowers
Joe’s trying.
He sure is!
Title card: “Joe Doesn’t Keep An Eye On That Little Dweeb”
Oh I just realized Joe is snarking on Joyce for trying to break up Jacob and Raidah. The comments reminded me.
Thanks, that is helpful.
Damn it Joe ! You. Had. One. Job !
Good job, Joe, you’ve unleashed Faz on an unsuspecting population.
He could skeeve out up to 6 people before he’s found!
Fun fact: Any issues caused by Faz are now considered Acts of God for insurance purposes.
Dang millennials, always buried in their phones during quality family time!
Although I guess the sliding timescale means they’ll all be Gen Z before long.
Maybe Willis will get bored and decided it’s World War 2 again
I thought the Middle Ages DoA was funniest. “Whose signature do you need on that??” “Both popes.”
…Oh wait, that’s Blackadder.
I prefer getting signatures from all seven popes, thankyouverymuch.
Least he lost him to a children’s boutique instead of a strip club.
‘Course that’s also assuming that girl in purple safely escaped since she was out of sight by the 3rd frame.
This is why you don’t text n walk.
Next thing you know, he’ll stumble on that small pillar-thing that’s in his way.
We already have theories about the pylon.
Either I – or my internet – was to slow to read that.
But thanks, got to see them now
Off topic but: Damn, I’m early. So the comic goes up when it’s 5am over here. I should switch on my computer in the morning on a more regular basis.
Things I would do if I gained complete access to the Dumbing of Age WordPress login, and html code (essentially everything Willis has)
1. Go back through the archives and and draw french mustaches on everyone.
2. Just for one day, un-ban everyone who has ever been banned. (but stay on standby to re-ban them if things go too far)
3. All of the assigned avatars are replaced with Ryan, Blaine and Toe-Dad
4. Tell everyone they are wonderful people who deserve to be loved.
5. Add passive aggressive pop-up for anyone who uses ad-block.
Myself, I’m fine with Willis’s management.
You can do one of those things anyway, if you want!
Can’t you instead get access to the ad servers and remove all malign ads?
The kind that redirect to game of chance sites automatically before you can read the first panel and such?
We’d all be really thankful.
Aaannndddd he’s gone. Eh whatevs. No big loss.
He probably went to make more charts
And that’s the best case scenario.
Joe wasn’t wrong — Faz is already significantly more likable!
Bragging AFTER you are done with the thing. Come on, Joe.
Hey if the only thing that comes out of this is the little dweeb stops referring to himself in the third person, it’s worth it.
He’s been intermittently doing either basically since his first appearance. So yeah, that would be a change for the slightly less creepy!
–Dave, who could use passive reference in subjunctive mood were it not for the arrow to his knee
Faz has been kidnapped by Toedad’s evil not-a-twin brother Thumbdad.
Yeah, taking your eye off of Faz for a moment is probably a bad idea. Fortunately, Faz is a fairly straight-line thinker in his own way. If Joe wants to find him, look in the immediate area for somewhere you can find attractive women and start systematically searching them. Faz will be there, being creepy in an annoying way.
Yes, Joe is still going on about Joyce’s involvement in the Raidah-Jacob-Sarah triangle and rightly so.
Please Joe let this be a wake up call
oh thanks the heavens, he didn’t mean getting *Faz* laid.
Yeah I misunderstood, too. This is actually a lot better.
Betcha a nickle Willis realized this sort of thing would happen and put in that (Danny and Amber) bit to assure everyone Joe really did mean those two.
Betcha a nickle he made it sound ambiguous on purpose so we could misinterpret it.
I doubt it. The joke for the strip depended on reading it correctly and IIRC he tweeted about it.
I still find the idea that Joe and Joyce have become text buddies the most fascinating relationship in this series. I don’t want it to lead to romance or anything cliche like that, but it’s great to see that they both turn to each other like this whenever they have thoughts on a situation.
The fact that Joe’s the one starting a conversation here is good too. It looked like Joyce was initiating all the conversations before.
Unlikely people helping each other to get better is one of the most endearing theme of this comic.
Well spotted with Joe starting the conversation. They are getting more comfortable with their texting relationship.
I dunno… The part where he says “while not breaking up an existing relationship” kinda smacks of being passive aggressive towards Joyce for her (unwitting) role in coming between Jacob and Faidah.
There’s nothing unwitting about it, that’s the reason why Joe feels free to criticise her, even indirectly. She’s made choices of who is supposed to be ‘ideal’ for Jacob without bothering to ask Jacob for his input.
If they’re comfortable enough with each other he might mean it as a gentle rib. There’s a level of friendship where sarcasm is meant with (platonic) love.
Faz should come with a tracking device.
He’ll have an anchor bracelet soon enough.
So all the women will be able to find the great Faz of course.
You had one job, Joe.
Awwww, is he trying to impress Joyce? Although he probably just doesn’t want her to be mad at him. Also, good job on the brothering, until you lost him, of course.
Yes, he does want to impress Joyce. It’s interesting that she has become his moral compass, isn’t it?
Yeah, it is. It’s nice, I think, they have a nice relationship. She’s good for him, and I think he’s good for her, with his support when she found out her parents were kinda fighting, if I remember that correctly.
Annnnd the beast is off the leash.
We have learned that Faz is more of an annoyance to others and a danger to himself.
Kinda like if you leave a loud and yippy chihuahua out in the wild, the odds are not on his side.
Joe did level him up a tiny bit by removing the hyper-annoying third person thing. Faz can now hide his creepiness a tiny bit from the unsuspecting victims.
You are in fact doing neither of those things, Joe.
Let him have this moment… I have a strong feeling it will come crashing down pretty soon.
COP: “Do you know this little pervert sir?”
JOE: “Yeah, he’s my sort of half-step-brother or something similar.”
Damnit Willis stop making me ship Joe and Joyce!
*adds another level to the passenger quarters of the SS Joece*
Starting to look like one of those Carnival cruise ships…
I’m down for Joe/Joyce erryday of the week.
But god dammit Joe…
Joe’s not up to the task of Faz wrangling. Wasn’t Dina the one who “captured” him the last time around?
That was her, but it was made much easier by Dina being the endpoint of Faz’s affections. No chasing involved.
So what you are suggesting is that Joe should grab a fishing pole, attach Dina or a Dina-shaped lure to the end of it and wait?
I wouldn’t ask that of Dina. Too comicky. If Joe uses his “chick radar” (if that’s a thing) he can probably follow his instincts to Faz.
ETA, “Dina-shaped lure” is plausible.
Maybe, but then again Faz is an inexperienced amateur and his movements might be too random and inefficient for a pro like Joe to be able to reliably follow him.
Should’ve brought Danny with him
The next strip is titled ‘Of Mike and Men’.
Oh dear.
Next storyline, whoops
So that’s when the whole Mike/Ethan/Danny plot boils over. Good to know.
Mokona is Mokona!
Now I’m wondering if that would have worked in Shortpacked if anyone thought to try it.
So that confirms Joe was trying to matchmake Dan and Amber, and not try to get Faz laid, ok, good.