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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 7hDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8d
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 21d
Gwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Ash Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Katie @katiestp.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Hunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
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(he/him)
⚧
FUCKFACE BEST CHARACTER
14/10
they’re good squamates Brent
Lowkey. Fuckface is the only reason Malaya is tolerated in universe. She was denied admission until the dean saw him and was like “Woah! Cool iguana!” The whole no pets allowed thing is an elaborate lie to screw with people.
Actually, the rule might be to avoid issues with dormmates who are allergic to cats or dogs. But iguanas, no one’s allergic to iguanas.
There are actually a couple studies suggesting you can be. Like, only a couple and it seems like most of them were individual case studies with prolonged exposure first, but it seems not-impossible. So that’s the new thing I learned today.
There are apparently some very rare individuals who are allergic. But there are more important issues with regard to human health. The Green Iguana Society has an extensive list of human safety issues for iguana keeper.
wow. “If the bite is a severe one where you are bleeding profusely, you may even consider going to the hospital with the iguana attached (and hopefully it will release before you get there). ”
iguanas sound fucking dangerous.
Or roommates who are phobic about certain pets (snakes?) or just don’t want to deal with them. This scene is a good reason.
Or kids who don’t take good care of their pets – no oversight like there would have been back home. Or who don’t keep them from damaging the rooms – scratching, sanitation.
For many common pets dorm rooms are very small to be cooped up in. Living in close quarters it’s likely that for anything not kept in a tank or cage, it won’t just be the roommate affected, but everyone on the floor at least – and all their pets.
All that said, apparently some schools are experimenting with pet-friendly dorms.
Malasia = Lord Byron??
(For those who don’t know the story, when Byron was at university, he was told he couldn’t keep a dog, so he got a bear. Sources vary as to whether the rule specifically said “dogs” [or possibly “dogs or cats”] or whether it said “domestic animals” and he assured the college that the bear wasn’t domesticated in the slightest.)
See, this is why I wish I was a wealthy and influential member of the British aristocracy in the late victorian. I could buy a bear just for a joke.
Byron was in college about 1805–1808, which is not so much “late Victorian” as ten years before Victoria was born.
Don’t they carry salmonella?
WTFuckface
Nice.
so it’s not just sarah who gets the joyce wakeups?
Guess so, or why would Sal assume that was Joyce?
Does…does she have iguana breath? Someone should really tell her to change her toothpaste brand.
Joyce is… A morning person. Yes, one of those.
We’ve seen her intrude on Sal like this before, yeah.
Sometimes I really, REALLY hope the Jacob thing crashes and burns the way I dread it will, because I really, REALLY want it to help teach Joyce some freaking boundaries and maybe she’ll extend them past the relationships one. Respect the tired not-morning people, Joyce! Don’t intrude on people while they sleep! Or pee! That’s weird, Joyce!
I know Joyce has already been examining boundaries due to Dorothy’s call out, at least with the Jacob thing, so that’s something, at least.
It’s already putting her over Tai from Questionable Content, who is frankly more than a little creepy with some of her stunts.
She’s had a flash of insight that her plans for Jacob might be inappropriate, but I’m afraid it’s more because she’s realized that her motives are more lustful than “true love”.
I doubt that will extend to other boundary issues.
Joyce is treating these people like her family, because that’s her primary model for social interaction. And she was the baby sister, and the only girl as well.
Welcome to College Dorm Life: Not only does Joyce get to learn to live with strangers, but Billy, Malaya(**), Sarah and Sal(*) get to learn to live with a sister! Having someone like Joyce as a roommate isn’t a bug, it’s a feature.
(*)Sal has boarding school experience, so she may have already been presented with this lesson and punched it in its stupid morning lesson face already.
(**) Malaya’s sibling status is unknown?
Sarah has a little sister. And as the baby who is a sister in a family, I can confirm Joyce is not doing something just inherent to being the baby sister. Billie, Malaya, Sarah, and Sal should not have to put up with this while Joyce gets her act together. At this point, I’m not going to feel bad for her if she wakes up tied up somewhere so the others can sleep.
is fuckface the new joyce
In that Joyce is going to get her face fucked up.
ooh, tough luck
If Joyce says the iguana’s name, does that count as her swearing?
She probably calls him fudgeface or something
this is the comment I came here for
Joyce has been doing swearing, just PG-13 swearing.
It will only cross the line if she says it twice.
I don’t remember if Joyce has actually said the word “fuck” yet. I don’t believe she has but I’m not sure.
Joyce does not yet have any entries on the Officially Unofficial (But Referenced by the Hovertext in the Past) Dumbing of Age F-Bomb Chart.
Joyce has said damn, I think she may have said shit or piss, perhaps even ass or asshole, but I don’t believe she has said fuck.
Joyce has said ‘asshole’, in a recent conversation with Joe (at first she said ‘butthole’, but intentionally corrected herself).
I suspect she will stutter badly trying to Sasha’s name.
I HATE autocorrect
… say his name
I want Joyce to watch Johnny Dangerously…
“You Suminum Biznatch.” “Farging Icehole.”
If only she’d been flailing with the other arm, she might have gotten her.
Look, I can think of worse alarm clocks than Joyce.
like Mike!
The Great Faz will be happy to wake you up in the morning. With his penis.
Win. That was 100% win.
More like the iguana has her….well not really her but Malaya…..well not really Malaya because iguana’s have no need for humanity’s petty concept of ownership.
Say his name, Joyce. No “Fudgeface” or similar substitutions.
She’d better. Getting someone’s name wrong on purpose is disrespectful. e.g. it’s DAY-tah not DAH-tah
I am impressed that Sal has taken to Joyce’s wakeup calls with as much acceptance as she has. But I am more impressed Sal can wake up to an iguana in her face and not even react. Though I guess seeing her roomie is more aggravating and disturbing to her so it makes sense.
Joyce, your “I’m not into girls” is wearing thin.
Wish I was in Tijuana –
Eating barbecued iguana
I’d take requests on the telephone
I’m on a wavelength far from home–“Mexican Radio”
… You know, if I had an illicit iguana in my living space, which I shared with someone who didn’t like me or my iguana and I actively antagonized, I’m pretty sure letting said iguana out of its safe, contained, easily-covered-in-a-hurry tank to roam the living space freely would be a bad idea.
Also, aren’t iguanas diurnal? And it’s October, wouldn’t Fuckface staying in his tank with its heat lamp be better for Fuckface?
Fuckface probably escapes his tank anyway, doesn’t he. He strikes me as an iguana who gives zero shits about containment.
oh he probably gives shits. alll over sal’s bed.
(I don’t know anything about the toilet habits of iguanas, but I had a budgie once and it shat everywhere. and I have heard plenty of stories about angry cats.)
According to brief Googling set off by remembering Malaya in the old universe saying he was pretty low-maintenance in that regard, generally iguanas only expel their waste once or twice a day if they’re healthy and being fed properly.
That said, I say ‘expel waste’ because they pee and poop as one combined substance, and their waste can contain stuff like salmonella, so I would really also want to ensure Fuckface is NOT shitting in the living space.
This is not a good idea, Malaya, and it’s inconsiderate or potentially dangerous to both your roommate and your iguana.
Iguana’s poop fairly regularly, maybe once or twice a day unless they’re too cold. I know this because my class had one in middle school…..but you should just blindly trust me on this.
In my experience: iguanas do like to escape their tank and roam around until they need to be heated up again. They especially like to be high up. They rarely if ever cause problems with pooping, which they only do occasionally and seem to prefer in some private place. They will eat any fruit or flowers they find though.
Also good to know.
Yeah my worries are more about how Sal clearly doesn’t want to be responsible for this iguana at all and has kind of had those responsibilities foisted on her, mostly, with a side order of ‘so if Fuckface escapes, how much trouble is Sal in as well as Malaya’ than anything else. Potential health issues for either Sal or Fuckface are minor (largely because I know nothing about iguana care and cede to superior knowledge), but this whole situation is kind of inconsiderate to spring on someone without warning or any real ability for them to refuse.
Well sure, but it’s Malaya. What do you expect?
Oh, about this level of inconsiderate, yeah. I just hope she’s prepared for any consequences of leaving your exotic pet alone with someone who has no awareness of its needs.
Sal raised the illicit pet issue with Malaya in pretty much those words when Malaya moved in. Malaya’s response was to point to the person who her friend who was helping her move in — Marcie.
I once expressed concern about keeping an iguana in Bloomington, but as it happens there are iguana keepers in similar climates who are in this very comment section, and apparently the issues can be dealt with without any major foofaraw. Anyway, I assume Fuckface is biographical to Willis’s college experience.
Fuckface followed Malaya from the other continuity, so I doubt it’s an autobio thing.
Fuckface was a carryover from the Walkyverse’s non-college setting, so I have no reason to believe he’s autobiographical in that respect.
Glad to know he’s safe wandering free in this environment climate-wise, though. I’m still concerned that he’s wandering all over including on the lofted bed (what if he escapes the room?) but him not freezing to death is good.
Malaya’s whole bit in that scene was pretty dickish, though. I also remember the ‘you’re complaining because you hate animals’ line from that. There are perfectly good reasons to not want a relatively small living creature wandering freely around your living space. Especially if they can be a salmonella vector. Especially if their discovery can get both of you in trouble. And especially if they can have a perfectly healthy, enriched life in a tank designed for their needs rather than the rest of your dorm room.
Too bad. Take the loss.
Oh yeah, Joyce hasn’t met Fuckface yet. She also hasn’t met the Iguana either. (Badum Ching!!!!!)
F-WORD-FACE!!!
Fudgeface!
Fordface?
F-word-FAAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEE.
Looks like Fuckface seems insulted to being compared to Joyce. Maybe he’ll be ok with it when she becomes an internet Porn Lady?
*sigh* I guess it was too much to hope Joyce stopped doing this shit, huh?
Malaya, maybe you can succeed where Sarah, Billie and Sal all failed and make her understand this is not cute and is in fact unacceptable.
If not, at least I have Sal being adorable in panel 1 and the glorious return of Fuckface.
I’m wondering: Willis has said that Joyce was autobiographical. So is this waking up of people something Willis used to do in college?
I’m just imagining waking up and seeing a grumpy father of of two staring at my pet
I hate that it’s so normal for Joyce to bother Sal to her bed in the mornings that she instinctively waves her away. Not okay Joyce, this is so not okay
Seriously. Again Joyce, this is weird and intrusive and makes those who have to deal with it like you less.
Honestly I think it’s mostly played for a gag. One time Joyce did this I think Sal nearly choked her to death. If that didn’t stop her nothing will.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/noon/
……Yeah no, Joyce ain’t learnin nothin.
It happened a second time on the morning of the Toedad Incident – that time, Becky was there too and also got choked.
Basically, when Joyce realizes she’s into girls, she’s also going to realize she’s into erotic asphyxiation.
Well at least that second time she felt like there’s some important reason not to wakeup Sal like that!
And today she keeps a distance to Sal’s face, so she has learned it now!
Wait, who’s she talking to? The next strips clearly show it’s just her and Sal in the room. Does she have visions of God telling her to wake up her friends?
Mostly, but I suspect it’s also long term set up for something she’ll have to learn to stop. At least as a facet of her broader boundary issues, which have gotten a little more play of late.
even as a gag I hate it and Joyce has done this multiple times. It’s not cute and it’s not funny
It’s not cute, but it is funny. Especially varying it up with Fuckface.
YMMV. I don’t think it’s funny at all. Fuckface and Adorable Tired Sal are the big draws to this strip for me.
Becky joins Joyce in doing that, so she hasn’t really had people tell her not to until recently.
Heck, while growing up her ‘job’ was to wake her brothers up. She’s had it ingrained into her so it’ll take a while to stop.
It’s still annoying though.
Billie’s shoved her, Sarah yells at her, and Sal’s choked her twice. I dunno how much harder ‘this is not normal outside your house’ can be pushed.
That assumes her brothers didn’t react the same way. If they got up on their own she wouldn’t have been given the job to make sure it happened.
I don’t know, she asked Billie if she did something wrong when she woke her up and she doesn’t get RIGHT in Sal’s face anymore to avoid being choked. Plus I know a lot of kids who get told to wake their siblings jus too give the over excited morning children something to do (so they don’t annoy their parents) instead of the parents having to call the older kids to get up.
A very smug iguana, at that.
Smuguana.
I did not know that iguanas could look smug, and then I saw today’s last panel.
How is that the iguana doesnt run away from an excited Joyce?
Yes, Joyce, and if you want to play with him, you have to call him by name.
“Who’s a cute little F…udgeface?”
“Not good enough.”
Please be the loose lips that sink Malaya’s ship Joyce…
Breathlessly waiting for the moment when Joyce calls this iguana Hanky-Panky Face.
Did Joyce just go full Steven Universe with the star eyes?
*enhancing image*
Whoa, she did!
I’m pretty sure she’s done it before, too.
I would’ve thought Joyce would be terrified of lizards.
Why? Joyce strikes me as the sort who would love all of God’s creatures right up until the moment they tried to bite, sting or otherwise ingest her.
Joyce is not Hannelore.
… ‘friggin’ face…
I see you.
Here’s the problem with a creationist education.
Joyce has clearly not been taught the perils of natural selection.
I remember reading when I was a kid about how that was a lie because ”mighty beasts such as the saber-toothed tiger fell by the wayside and died out, while tiny, frail, insignificant man lived on” – clearly a good example of how evolutionary natural selection was unreliable.
…is that some kind of toxic masculinity ideals projected onto evolutionary history? THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS TO BE STRONG. Who would ever need adaptability or ability to organise things. Shut up ants, you are all girls so you don’t count.
FUCKFAAAAACE HOORAAAAAYYY
I’ve got the feeling that Sal will soon see that lizard as her best friend in the world!
I was thinking Salamander as Sal’s superhero nomme de guerre.
Amazigirl and Salamander! Fighting crime!
Behold, the lizard known as Fuckface. Never has there been a motherfucker so majestic.
Oh and Joyce is here too. Great.
I’m pretty sure that Fuck-face is saying to Sal: “Wake up, endotherm. Feed me.”
At least we now know why Sal isn’t a morning person: She’s far too much of a night person to be awake any time before midday!
Or possibly: “Endotherm, I’m going to use your body heat. Don’t mistake this for affection. I’d prefer a nice sun-warmed rock, but I’ll have to make do.”
She’s also said before she sometimes has insomniac episodes so ..yeah, definitely too much time awake.
…Or, admittedly, ‘Endotherm, wake up, you have a giant bug on you. GIVE IT TO ME.’ Except, wait no, Fuckface is a herbivore, right?
Yep – remember, Carla got lettuce for him. Which then escaped.
Very adventurous lettuce, that was.
Tag, the “lettuce”.
sal: “it’s gonna be a long night…”
It’s morning. The night was the relatively thin black area between panels 2 and 3.
Sal is aware of this and her response is likely: “Nooo!!!“
This is why the number one goal is not having roommates
Say my name, Joyce, say my name.
I want panel 4 as a huge poster. On my bedroom wall. That I can look up to and adore Sal.
I want an iguana -my fav old time video
https://youtu.be/0nspuSDshHs
Ok, how is it that Joyce somehow gets into all these locked rooms?
I mean… plot convenience, but seriously. She wakes EVERYONE up.
Joyce has only, on the record, woken up Sarah, Sal and Billie (and I assume that Malaya is next), all of whom she has access to – Sarah is her roommate and Sal and Billie (now Malaya) are her suite-mates – they share a bathroom.
If she has ever woken up anyone else in the dorm hall, I’m sure the night owls at least have taken to locking their doors before they go to bed
Yeah, the bathroom doors only lock on the inside, so as to prevent people from being locked in the bathroom. It’s …not the greatest system.
::insert canned laughter followed by applause and cheers from a live prerecorded audience::
My internet is garbage so stuff is slow and as the last panel was loading I thought it was SAL’s speech bubble and I was like “seems legit, even Sal could get excited about a sweet iguana.”
Iguana time
Byron was in college about 1805–1808. That’s before Victoria was born rather than “late Victorian”.