Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 8, 2026

Scared mess

by David M Willis on November 7, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Birthday Pursuit
└ Tags: dorothy, joyce, leslie

Discussion (168) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    November 7, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    OH NO QUICK UNFRIEND EVERYBODY

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      November 7, 2019 at 1:01 pm | #

      Classic Mike.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    November 7, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    Plot twist: Hank just forgot the wifi password.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      November 7, 2019 at 12:45 am | #

      “For the last time, Dad, it’s on the back of the router. …. no, Dad, I’m not talking about your shop tools.”

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        November 7, 2019 at 2:19 pm | #

        Plot twist: It was on the -bottom- of the router.

        (Mine certainly is)

  3. Nono
    Nono
    November 7, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh no, I’m older than Leslie. What is my life.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      November 7, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

      I’m pretty sure I’m older than several of the parents, so… >_>

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        November 7, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

        I don’t think I’m older than Sir.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          November 7, 2019 at 6:00 am | #

          I dunno is Sir over 60? Still 2-0-1 in death matches against pickup trucks, but I think I might have added a car or two to the win column since 2001. Sucks being an unkillable badass but still subject to long term injuries, or immortal but not invulnerable. I’m getting so tired to people hitting me while I cross the street with the light…

          • Old Fart
            Old Fart
            November 8, 2019 at 12:00 am | #

            Opus the Poet: Wait, what? You cross with the light? Next you’ll tell me you stop at stop signs. That is almost unheard of behavior for cyclists around here.

            I did today on my bike, and it confused a motorist. They stopped dead 50 feet down the road and waited, so I went. They were probably afraid I would ride out right in front of them. It was their right of way, so I was going to wait at the stop sign, but I guess they’d never seen anybody do that on a bike.

            Maybe you should leave Texas if you’re going to ride those things. Driving culture varies by location.

    • Eusis
      Eusis
      November 7, 2019 at 12:51 am | #

      I was younger for the first few days of the strip’s life, then the same for a year!

      Now it is but a distant memory. 🙁

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      November 7, 2019 at 6:29 am | #

      it’s ok, I was already older than her when the comic started.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        November 7, 2019 at 8:07 am | #

        Same. Oh, and BTW,

        STILL A SCARED MESS

      • Jhon
        Jhon
        November 7, 2019 at 10:39 am | #

        I was older than Leslie when the comic started. I’m STILL older than Leslie.
        What’s wrong with me?

        • a/snow/mous/e
          a/snow/mous/e
          November 7, 2019 at 11:38 am | #

          You’re not getting any younger?

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      November 7, 2019 at 8:39 am | #

      None of my children are as young as Leslie.

    • Steelbright
      Steelbright
      November 7, 2019 at 7:59 pm | #

      Those were my thoughts too

  4. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    November 7, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Leslie you speak the truth, as someone whose 26th birthday is rapidly approaching and is scared for the future, i feel you. Joyce, call your fucking dad back, seriously. How is this a hard concept?

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      November 7, 2019 at 12:45 am | #

      I agree with Leslie on both accounts that you never stop being afraid and JOYCE SHOULD FUCKING TALK TO HER DAD!

    • NightMare Dani
      NightMare Dani
      November 7, 2019 at 9:41 am | #

      I’m 32 and I see no sign of stopping being a scared mess. I’m inclined to think it never happens, you either get used to it or you learn how to pretend.

      • Clif
        Clif
        November 7, 2019 at 11:10 am | #

        No, I’d say about 68, two years ago, that changed. I’m still just as much of a mess, but for the most part, no longer scared.

  5. Sheason
    Sheason
    November 7, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    “Like, okay, spoilers, but I’m 26”

    Oh, you sweet summer child…

    • StClair
      StClair
      November 7, 2019 at 12:25 am | #

      No, the spoiler is that you never figure it all out.

      • Clif
        Clif
        November 7, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

        And then you die.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          November 7, 2019 at 6:29 am | #

          Unless you’re a vampire.

      • Zaxares
        Zaxares
        November 7, 2019 at 4:19 am | #

        Some people DO believe that they’ve figured it all out. Unfortunately, they tend to be those cranky, unbearable people who think everybody else is doing it wrong. 😉

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          November 7, 2019 at 6:01 am | #

          For some reason I feel called out.

      • Vika
        Vika
        November 7, 2019 at 4:25 am | #

        i mean, you can figure out many things, better yourself in every way, continue learning how to hone your skills and deal with problems in the most helpful way possible, balance yours and others needs. Idk, i used to agree a lot but seems a bit defeatist and counter productive to keep thinking on that instead of thinking the next way you can improve yourself.

        Dont get me wrong, “scared mess” when loved ones are in danger? That’s me. But i got a lot better at being a scared mess with practice, and take effort to improve on all other things too.

    • foamy
      foamy
      November 7, 2019 at 7:44 pm | #

      Leslie being only 26 explains an awful lot of other things, TBH.

      • Thulcandran
        Thulcandran
        November 8, 2019 at 12:05 pm | #

        It does NOT explain how she’s teaching a college course though, unless she’s still a PhD candidate and the Gender Studies department lets you run as instructor of record during the year. But it’s usually only English departments who do that, most places you can’t get a gig running a class unless you’ve finished your PhD. Especially since the market is glutted with grads who’ll adjunct.

    • SuperZero
      SuperZero
      November 8, 2019 at 8:27 pm | #

      Why is she a tiny baby? I thought she was supposed to be a grown-up.

  6. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    November 7, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Huh. That was an angle that the comment section seemed to have missed yesterday.

    • Alanari
      Alanari
      November 7, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

      Good thinking of Leslie though.

    • Shanunu
      Shanunu
      November 7, 2019 at 12:58 am | #

      There were at least a couple people in the comment section suggesting something along these lines in a way that makes Leslie’s current statement ironic. Basically the idea is Joyce’s dad is calling to tell her that ToeDad is out of jail on bail but because of her other concerns she isn’t picking it up. This is exactly the kind of situation Leslie is describing and it’s actively happening.

      • Clif
        Clif
        November 7, 2019 at 11:14 am | #

        We assume. Or I assume. But Willis will play against reader expectations. See Amber and Sal at Joyce’s party.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        November 8, 2019 at 11:57 am | #

        Then, I mean, at least maybe, I DUNNO, send a TEXT or something?!

        [Hi, love, listen, are you able to contact Becky? I didn’t want to tell you like this but you both need to know that TOEDAD IS OUT OF JAIL. REPEAT: TOEDAD IS OUT OF JAIL ON BAIL, I have called your RN to let her know to get you two to safety and I am on my way! DO NOT] 1/9

        [go to your room or Becky’s or anywhere a guy with a gun can see you! He’s apparently been out for at least [xx] hours so he could be there ANY MINUTE. Go and barricade yourself in] 2/9

        [one of the administration offices and I’ll text you when I’m there! And if he shows up before I do CALL 911 AND DO NOT ENGAGE!!] 3/9

        …etc. Or does he somehow not have even a flip phone?! Even my dad has one, and he’s ninety!

  7. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    November 7, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    it bears repeating:
    bearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbearsbears

    also, as has been stated, this bodes poorly

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      November 7, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

      Support The Right To Arm BEARS

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        November 7, 2019 at 5:09 am | #

        Please vote to provide bears with bump stocks.

        • Clif
          Clif
          November 7, 2019 at 11:18 am | #

          “Hey baby bear, let’s you and me bump stocks!”

          Bear population plummets.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        November 7, 2019 at 8:10 am | #

        Can’t I just support the right to repeat bearsbearsbearsbears

        • Clif
          Clif
          November 7, 2019 at 11:21 am | #

          Everyone should have a sbear bear.

    • Skemono
      Skemono
      November 7, 2019 at 2:58 am | #

      BEARS!!

  8. Kravis
    Kravis
    November 7, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Wel…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-PYqUHfTMA

  9. Regalli
    Regalli
    November 7, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Huh. I’m Leslie’s age. Next year, I’ll be older than Leslie.

    This scares me, I’ve been reading this since I was a college freshman.

    Also, GOOD EVERYONE REALIZES THIS now time to panic.

  10. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    November 7, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Leslie is a mature scared mess who is doing so much better here than I would at 26. Or 36, etc.

  11. Khantalas
    Khantalas
    November 7, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    Leslie started out older than I am and ended up younger, and it’s a scary world knowing this.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 7, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      Leslie started out as exactly my age, but now I’m close to a decade older than her.

      No fair, how do I move to a universe with comic book time? Did Gwenpool ever write any instructional manuals?

      • ktbear
        ktbear
        November 7, 2019 at 1:15 am | #

        Huh, a time lord struggle with the vagaries of time. How quaint.

  12. Axel
    Axel
    November 7, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    THANK YOU LESLIE

  13. LeslieBean4shizzle
    LeslieBean4shizzle
    November 7, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    Leslie is 26?
    Really? She’s tenure track at age 26? In present day?

    Yeah, I think that might be the most unrealistic thing I’ve read in a comic, any comic, today.

    Even with a doctorate, Leslie wouldn’t have a position like that until well into her 30s.

    Or am I forgetting some line that indicates that she’s a part time adjunct lecturer rather than a professor? And this being her first year teaching? Because yeah, no way.

    • Lizardo
      Lizardo
      November 7, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

      When she fights with Robin in the kitchen she says that she doesn’t so it’s fair to assume that she is in fact not tenured.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        November 7, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

        I seem to recall (though maybe it was a Patreon strip) that she shares office space, too? Which definitely says adjunct to me.

        • Norah
          Norah
          November 7, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

          Yes, doesn’t she share an office with someone named Vivian?

        • LeslieBean4shizzle
          LeslieBean4shizzle
          November 7, 2019 at 8:26 am | #

          Sharing an office, or not, has very little to do with whether she’s adjunct or full time and much more to do with the office availability where she works.

          I’m an adjunct with a private office… and there are empty private offices on either side of mine. Low enrollment means fewer people teaching means everyone gets a private office… and hardly any classes.

      • LeslieBean4shizzle
        LeslieBean4shizzle
        November 7, 2019 at 8:25 am | #

        There is a huge difference between tenured (already has tenure) and tenure-track (full time, has the potential to get tenure in a decade or two). She says she’s not tenured – nothing else. Although it’s true that she does have a small shitty apartment. Tiny apartments do tend to indicate adjunct.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      November 7, 2019 at 1:00 am | #

      She’s teaching a class that is full of freshmen. No tenure-track faculty is doing that unless it’s one of those lecture-hall classes with TAs to do the actual work.

      • LeslieBean4shizzle
        LeslieBean4shizzle
        November 7, 2019 at 8:23 am | #

        I’ve lost basic intro classes to the head of the department or other tenure-ish faculty when enrollment is low. So yeah, depending on the department and class availability, tenure-track faculty will certainly teach intro classes – particularly at state colleges like the one here.

    • Dark
      Dark
      November 7, 2019 at 2:35 am | #

      I mean, to be fair, she’s teaching Gender Studies.

      • LeslieBean4shizzle
        LeslieBean4shizzle
        November 7, 2019 at 8:33 am | #

        That is kinda my point. Gender Studies is a very, very competitive academic field – much like art history – where adjuncts rarely get even intro classes since there aren’t many classes to go around.

        English is different – if she was an English teacher, I’d still think 26 was too young (at 26, she would barely have time to get a Masters much less a PhD), but I was at least teaching intro classes immediately after graduating from grad school, so it would be tight but possible. But Gender studies? At a major University? Unlikely.

        I previously assumed that Leslie was 36, minimum.

        • Clif
          Clif
          November 7, 2019 at 11:38 am | #

          My experience is that while there’s a bias towards quality, accedemic employment is pretty random, particularly at the lower levels.

    • LeslieBean4shizzle
      LeslieBean4shizzle
      November 7, 2019 at 8:52 am | #

      To Clarify:
      At bare minimum, assuming Leslie started college at age 17 (and turning 18 during the school year), she would have her Bachelors in Gender Studies by 21. Assuming that she took the GRE during her senior year and got accepted directly into grad school (again, tight but possible), then she would have a Masters by age 24 and, if she really hurried, a PhD by age 25.

      However, most teaching positions require several years of experience, even for adjuncts. That’s easy for English people, since there are always comp classes, but not so much for specialized fields like Gender Studies.

      Plus, Leslie never came off as a “new hire” – she has that laid back, I’ve been doing this for years vibe.

      Anyway, I wrote out another several paragraphs using the experiences of myself and others in the academic sphere that i know as examples, but those are just anecdotal, so I removed them as technically irrelevant. The point being that I work at a university very similar to the one presented here and I know people in specialized fields like Gender Studies and it is SUPER HARD to get positions like Leslie has – even intro level ones – right after graduation. It can take upwards of a decade to get to where Leslie is, and she’s only had a year at most.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        November 7, 2019 at 10:27 am | #

        She’s also had some highly distracting life stuff happen, like being married young, coming out, and getting divorced. Didn’t she also face really unsupportive family?
        She must’ve had tremendous focus, to not get derailed by all this at any point. Maybe she deals with emotions by throwing herself into her work, and in doing so, impressed the hell out of everyone.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          November 7, 2019 at 10:47 am | #

          Moreover, hasn’t she also been homeless..? When was that, was she getting her Master’s degree from a pal’s couch?
          Leslie is a force of nature.

          • Deathjavu
            Deathjavu
            November 7, 2019 at 12:22 pm | #

            Yeah it seems like the takeaway from all this speculation and math is that Leslie is a badass.

            Not that we didn’t already know that.

        • vlademir1
          vlademir1
          November 7, 2019 at 1:42 pm | #

          Here’s the timeline as I currently picture it…
          @14: Leslie comes out to her parents. They are as we’ve seen them in SP! and she pulls a teen runaway bit while continuing to study so she can GED at 18.
          @15: Leslie’s parents track her down and make her an offer, submit to an arranged marriage (cf. here for the age) and they’ll sign the waiver for her to GED at 16 and pay for her college. She accepts.
          @16: Leslie starts her undergrad pushing herself to finish as quickly as possible. Doing this, in her mind, is a coping mechanism for her stress and an excuse to not engage any more than she has to with her husband. Very late in undergrad she starts getting published, building as much from her experiences as from her education.
          @19: Leslie just finishes her undergrad, passes her GRE and gets accepted into her Masters program. Getting her second publication around this point.
          @20: Leslie falls into a poor choice relationship with a woman collapsing her marriage and losing the money her parents are paying for her education in the fallout from it even as she continues pushing through her program and trying to find financing to continue.
          @21: Leslie finished her Masters and starts her Doctorate amid mounting debt and a completely lost support network. Her situation is probably an open secret in the department at this point.
          @23: Leslie finishes her PhD and, due to a solid academic record, publication history and probably making good impressions on the department head at some juncture all in spite of her situation, gets hired in and fast tracked in an exceptionally unusual manner.
          @26: Here we are today.

          It’s exceptionally implausible, but still technically possible, if only barely. Twenty some years ago someone in Leslie’s position at her age was much easier to explain. One of my friends during college was teaching this type of intro class while finishing his MS. I opted out of his class for a different one when it came up on my schedule just to avoid a potential conflict of interest. That was admittedly in a requisite field however.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            November 7, 2019 at 5:05 pm | #

            I still have teachers who are working on their PhDs. Mostly intros or electives but still.

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          November 7, 2019 at 6:46 pm | #

          Black market time-turner is my theory.

      • Julez
        Julez
        November 7, 2019 at 11:59 am | #

        I dunno, I had a gender and sexuality professor who was clearly in their mid-20s. I think it was a special course though.

      • OBBWG
        OBBWG
        November 7, 2019 at 2:00 pm | #

        She may have been teaching with a Masters degree. Many universities allow that for 100-level classes. For example, a friend was a professor at a Big Ten university when he was 24 and a doctoral student. She may have only recently earned her PhD. For that matter, do we know she has earned her PhD? I don’t recall anyone calling her “Doctor”, though my memory could be faulty.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          November 7, 2019 at 5:05 pm | #

          Willis has said she has a PhD but bear in mind that Word of Willis is not immutable and unchanging.

  14. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    November 7, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    Cues up Telephone Line on the hijacked Muzak.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      November 7, 2019 at 5:25 am | #

      Oh, snap. ELO, and it ain’t even Christmas yet.

  15. TheKelliestKelly
    TheKelliestKelly
    November 7, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    I cannot believe I’m the same age as Leslie

  16. Pocky
    Pocky
    November 7, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

    Leslie, you are too good of a mom for your own good.

    Whoops, I meant host.

  17. Nono
    Nono
    November 7, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

    ITT: multiple people realise that they’re old, oh no, what have we been doing with our 20s

  18. Keulen
    Keulen
    November 7, 2019 at 12:28 am | #

    DoA Book 10: You Never Stop Being A Scared Mess

  19. Some1
    Some1
    November 7, 2019 at 12:28 am | #

    I’m just going to leave this here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y5SAM91oG4

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      November 7, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

      *cough*

  20. Keulen
    Keulen
    November 7, 2019 at 12:29 am | #

    Damn it I’m older than Leslie.

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      November 7, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

      I’m more than twice as old as Leslie.

      • Norah
        Norah
        November 7, 2019 at 12:55 am | #

        When this started I was twice as old as Leslie plus one year. Now I’m Leslie’s age in reverse.

  21. Ellegos
    Ellegos
    November 7, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

    Yeah, the news that Toe Dad has been bailed out probably would have come in handy earlier.

    Too bad Joyce’s Dad didn’t also text that information, if that’s indeed what it is. Joyce probably would have at least seen that.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      November 7, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

      I wouldn’t be surprised if her dad has a flipphone.

      • Tan
        Tan
        November 7, 2019 at 3:38 am | #

        Flip phones have had the capability to send text messages since before smartphones were a thing.

      • Agemegos
        Agemegos
        November 7, 2019 at 5:13 am | #

        I used to text on a candybar phone. It took me ages to figure out what text prediction was doing, and I texted some complete gibberish while I was doing it.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      November 7, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

      Well, luckily Becky hasn’t been made into a high-profile political figure whose presence is easy to… track… oh no.

      • Charles Phipps
        Charles Phipps
        November 7, 2019 at 1:37 am | #

        Toedad will shoot Robin after she throws herself in front of Becky, sweeping Robin into office and then she will order all of the liberals on campus to be put in cereal factories as unpaid labor.

        • Adam Black
          Adam Black
          November 7, 2019 at 1:46 am | #

          To be turned into Cereal ?

          • Charles Phipps
            Charles Phipps
            November 7, 2019 at 3:02 am | #

            SOYLENT ROBIN IS PEOPLE! PEOPLE!

            • Clif
              Clif
              November 7, 2019 at 11:46 am | #

              Well, I guess Robin is kind of people. She’s not very soylent tho.

            • Ellegos
              Ellegos
              November 7, 2019 at 6:06 pm | #

              From what I have seen of Robin’s diet, I just can’t picture her endorsing the idea of making cereal out of protein rather than just making it MORE sugar.

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          November 7, 2019 at 4:19 am | #

          I am having a movie flashback here, but can’t if it is “The Manchurian Candidate” or “The Dead Zone”.

          • Schpoonman
            Schpoonman
            November 7, 2019 at 3:30 pm | #

            What, Dragon Ball Z: The Dead Zone?

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          November 7, 2019 at 4:20 am | #

          Riley as Secretary of Cereal?

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        November 7, 2019 at 1:01 pm | #

        Yeah, Ross is stupid enough to walk up to a political campaign stall, likely in front of most of the Press Corps, brandish a gun and demand that Becky come with him. He’d get his martyrdom and wouldn’t care less about the impact on everyone else of having him shot full of holes by the USSS in front of them.

        This is why he needs Blaine around as his Thinking-Brain Hoodlum.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          November 7, 2019 at 8:09 pm | #

          Congressional representatives don’t have secret service protection, from my limited Canadian understanding – they have local or state police and sometimes hire their own personal security.

          He’s still dead though.

  22. FLUFFYWOLF
    FLUFFYWOLF
    November 7, 2019 at 12:36 am | #

    *realizes that we were all right*

    Awwww, ass-sandals.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      November 7, 2019 at 12:58 am | #

      ….. please don’t specify whether or not these “ass-sandals” you mention have straps.

      • FLUFFYWOLF
        FLUFFYWOLF
        November 7, 2019 at 3:55 pm | #

        Good question. Let’s not think about it too hard.

        And I was referencing Code MENT.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      November 7, 2019 at 5:06 am | #

      “Ass-sandals”

      That’s a thong. A thong is what you’ve described. Fantastic swear, though.

      • Clif
        Clif
        November 7, 2019 at 11:57 am | #

        Thong? Isn’t thong the past tense of thing?

        Or maybe a thong is what you thing. One of those.
        You will admit that both sound much more plausible than an ass-sandal.

        Who would put a sandal on a donkey?

  23. pjeseb
    pjeseb
    November 7, 2019 at 12:37 am | #

    When I started reading, I was the same age as or younger than most of the main cast. Now I’m the same age as one of their professors.

    Here’s hoping I’ll get my life together before I’m older than most of their parents.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      November 7, 2019 at 12:44 am | #

      I am, and I haven’t.

    • Lux
      Lux
      November 7, 2019 at 2:13 am | #

      I started reading this comic when I was in 11th grade. Now I’m in my 4th year of college…

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        November 7, 2019 at 6:07 am | #

        When I started reading this comic I didn’t have grandchildren, now he’s in 2nd grade.

  24. Bagge
    Bagge
    November 7, 2019 at 12:40 am | #

    Hey, hey, Leslie! No Spoilers!

  25. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    November 7, 2019 at 12:42 am | #

    I’m going to be older than Leslie in like 3 weeks.

  26. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    November 7, 2019 at 12:43 am | #

    It was at that moment that Joyce knew… SHE FUCKED UP.

  27. CapedLuigisYoshi
    CapedLuigisYoshi
    November 7, 2019 at 12:46 am | #

    Wait wait wait since when am I the same age as Leslie?!

    Man I’m getting old already.

  28. John
    John
    November 7, 2019 at 12:49 am | #

    I’m 45. Can confirm.

    • brionl
      brionl
      November 7, 2019 at 1:18 am | #

      In two weeks, my 26th birthday will have been 33 years ago.
      Woopie!

  29. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    November 7, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

    It’s 2019.

    Everyone’s a scared mess.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      November 7, 2019 at 4:40 am | #

      Ain’t that the truth.

    • John
      John
      November 7, 2019 at 9:33 am | #

      Boy howdy!

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      November 7, 2019 at 3:32 pm | #

      I was gonna say That Racist Orange Fucker and others of his ilk aren’t, but I think we’re finally on track to beating some of them so they’re afraid as well.

    • StClair
      StClair
      November 7, 2019 at 6:55 pm | #

      fucking right.

  30. jedimasterdelta40
    jedimasterdelta40
    November 7, 2019 at 12:57 am | #

    Dang, Leslie’s on top of it

  31. Alanari
    Alanari
    November 7, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

    Am I the only one who wouldn’t describe herself as a scared mess? I mean, I was, but I got most of the messy part sorted out around 30, which kind of made the scared part go away. I thought that was normal, albeit a bit late at 30..

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      November 7, 2019 at 1:05 am | #

      I’ve heard it’s not unusual for things to stabilize out at least somewhat around 30? That would be nice.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        November 7, 2019 at 2:31 am | #

        By then it’s pretty common to have a long-term plan for a job and housing, or at least to fall into a routine.

        A steady job and a mortgage tend to make things predictable.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          November 7, 2019 at 10:38 am | #

          Strongly depends on your generation. For example: Millennials, as a whole, are WAY less likely to be married with kids and a steady job and a mortgage at 30. Our parents had some serious benchmarks, but, we’re unmoored in time.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            November 7, 2019 at 7:38 pm | #

            Jeez yeah. I’m a late-for-the-party Xennial and I’m painfully aware that I’m the exception.

            Yes, stability leads to security, but you develop a whole new pile of things to worry about. Mostly bills.

    • CJ
      CJ
      November 7, 2019 at 3:23 am | #

      Yeah, but it’s hard to not fall into the habit again when thinking about politics.

  32. Meagan
    Meagan
    November 7, 2019 at 1:00 am | #

    You win

    • Meagan
      Meagan
      November 7, 2019 at 1:01 am | #

      Aw darn that was supposed to be a response to Cerberus

  33. Clif
    Clif
    November 7, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

    Joyce, you have to finish the sentence. “Ý-yeah , but what could go wrong? “

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      November 7, 2019 at 2:55 am | #

      No, I think it was: “… but the Ross is in jail, right? The authorities wouldn’t release a person accused of kidnap and assault with a deadly weapon without warning his alleged victim, right?”

  34. Marsh Maryrose
    Marsh Maryrose
    November 7, 2019 at 1:07 am | #

    There must be someone out there who started reading DoA when they were seven, and who is now Leslie’s age. Time for that person to post and make Willis feel old!

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      November 7, 2019 at 5:19 am | #

      Unless another decade has slipped by without my perfectly registering what I did with it, someone who started reading DoA aged seven when the first strip was published (10 September 2010) would now be 16, not 26.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        November 7, 2019 at 3:20 pm | #

        Well, they could have been on the elite, ultra, super secret Patreon level, that gives you ten year advanced access. You know, right as Sir Willis draws them.

  35. BBCC
    BBCC
    November 7, 2019 at 1:13 am | #

    Oh, Joyce, you beautiful, naive little nugget, I’m begging you, call him back. Hank, please, my KINGDOM if you learn to text.

  36. Woomy
    Woomy
    November 7, 2019 at 1:14 am | #

    Somehow Leslie seems older to me.

    I think it’s the hair.

    She has old-lady hair.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      November 7, 2019 at 2:24 am | #

      I had always figured she’s around 32 or 33, considering she’s teaching her own classes and is in a relatively stable position after being disowned and homeless.

      • Jess
        Jess
        November 7, 2019 at 9:28 am | #

        Right! How is she a full-blown professor at age 26??

  37. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    November 7, 2019 at 1:15 am | #

    She’s only a year older than me? God I’ve wasted my life.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      November 7, 2019 at 5:02 am | #

      Eh, we’re all basically wasting our lives. What’s important is that we fill them with stuff, in the process.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        November 7, 2019 at 9:43 am | #

        Stuff and Imposter Syndrome.

        And you may ask yourself, ‘well, how did I get here?”

  38. BenRG
    BenRG
    November 7, 2019 at 2:03 am | #

    Basically, Leslie is reminding the girls that, when one is dealing with adversaries with violent and/or obsessive personalities, there is no such thing as being too paranoid.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      November 7, 2019 at 7:54 am | #

      Except there is, of course.
      Justified in this case because we know Ross is out and Blaine is after them, but they’ve got no reason to know that, so they’d just have to spend their entire lives being incredibly even when there was no active threat. Which is self-destructive.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        November 7, 2019 at 12:11 pm | #

        I think the key point is still ‘parent, not known for calling repeatedly, has done so three times today.’ (And based off Leslie thinking he might want to give Becky information, she knows he’s relatively safe.) That usually means something important’s going on, and I can see Leslie jumping straight to the worst case scenario.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          November 7, 2019 at 2:44 pm | #

          Oh absolutely. In this case, even without meta knowledge, it’s reasonable to think it’s probably important.

          It’s just the “no such thing as being too paranoid” part I was objecting too. Paranoia is bad for you.

  39. Deadjolras
    Deadjolras
    November 7, 2019 at 2:23 am | #

    Leslie is… only two years older than me? But I’m still in college! This can’t be happening.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      November 7, 2019 at 5:04 am | #

      I’m the same age as her, and I haven’t even gone to college, yet. It’s happening all over the place.

    • Madock345
      Madock345
      November 7, 2019 at 6:41 am | #

      I’m the same age as Leslie… and I’m still in college. Yikes.

  40. Beef
    Beef
    November 7, 2019 at 3:38 am | #

    When one scared mess meets another scared mess they bump heads until greater mess is left standing sheepishly

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      November 7, 2019 at 10:33 am | #

      When one scared mess meets another scared mess they bump heads and … No wait, that’s Minecraft.

  41. Pylgrim
    Pylgrim
    November 7, 2019 at 4:06 am | #

    Spoiler: Around the time when you think maybe you are not a scared mess anymore, you go and have a baby and A BRAND NEW WORLD OF FRESH HORRORS AND ANXIETY swallows you whole.

    • GutterChick
      GutterChick
      November 7, 2019 at 5:25 am | #

      Welp, that’s future me’s problem

  42. GutterChick
    GutterChick
    November 7, 2019 at 5:24 am | #

    Oh God she’s my age. And she’s right.

  43. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    November 7, 2019 at 5:33 am | #

    As something who’s been there and wjo’s now 34 let me tell you: there are ways out. For me, that way was meditation.

    • OnyxIdol
      OnyxIdol
      November 7, 2019 at 5:34 am | #

      SomeONE JFC

      • Madock345
        Madock345
        November 7, 2019 at 6:41 am | #

        Both are technically accurate I guess.

  44. AbelUndercity
    AbelUndercity
    November 7, 2019 at 5:55 am | #

    50 here. Scared mess. It never ends.

  45. Zoe
    Zoe
    November 7, 2019 at 6:46 am | #

    I just realized I started reading this comic just before I started being a Student and by the end of the year I will have out-aged Leslie. That’s… A thing.

  46. Hazel
    Hazel
    November 7, 2019 at 6:48 am | #

    DOA started just before I started university. It was a comfort to see these re-imagined characters I had known through Shortpacked! start something I was just about to.
    I mean, I still failed the fuck out of my course but hey. Damn good comics.

  47. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    November 7, 2019 at 8:20 am | #

    62 here, absolutely a scared mess

  48. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    November 7, 2019 at 8:36 am | #

    GO SCARED MESS! And Joyce, talk with your father!!!

  49. Dr. Sharks
    Dr. Sharks
    November 7, 2019 at 10:22 am | #

    Unrelated to the strip, but I just now realized that what’s below Dorothy’s head in the patreon banner is Joyce’s arm. Until today, I saw it as Dorothy’s body wearing a teal tube-top, facing stage left and doing some kind of weird deltoid stretch with her right arm.

  50. mrnoidea
    mrnoidea
    November 7, 2019 at 10:26 am | #

    Dear God, I turn 25 in less than a week. Yeah, Leslie’s not wrong — we don’t stop being scared messes.

  51. OBBWG
    OBBWG
    November 7, 2019 at 2:14 pm | #

    Learning at least four people in the comments section are older than me makes me feel so young.

    “OK Boomer”

    *Sigh*

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      November 7, 2019 at 6:37 pm | #

      Born in 60, I may be technically a boomer, but based on a old Time or Newsweek article I figured out I was really a scout X’er, unlike my older siblings.

  52. Michael Haneline
    Michael Haneline
    November 7, 2019 at 8:38 pm | #

    SHE’S ONLY 26?

  53. Sunfish
    Sunfish
    November 7, 2019 at 8:39 pm | #

    I hate when I find out an “adult” character is older than me

    I’m not even anywhere near a Boomer

    • Sunfish
      Sunfish
      November 7, 2019 at 8:40 pm | #

      Also yeah when is this comic taking place because professor at 26 HAHA NOT IN THIS ECONOMY

      • mrnoidea
        mrnoidea
        November 7, 2019 at 11:39 pm | #

        It scares me that we have another potential recession coming soon, as well.

  54. Bagge
    Bagge
    November 7, 2019 at 11:18 pm | #

    awwww, Leslie bought Becky her phone *heartmealt*

  55. plasticwrap
    plasticwrap
    November 8, 2019 at 4:12 am | #

    26? Ah hah hah ha HEE HEE HEE HOOO HAH HAH HAH!!! TWENTY SIX! HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUNNY WOO! I flaked out of grad school at 26… mmm… lol wow so there’s essentially no point in even trying to be a functioning adult you will always be a scared failure and getting older actually only makes your worth as a human go down. Your potential was limitless and therefore you can never reach it. I feel like Bukowski with none of the talent and zero ambition. A bottle of vodka a day won’t see my life end soon enough.

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