Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
All Known Alternatives
Karolina 'Kajotko' Jankiewicz
Akane has only one way to get back home: collect the 42 keys to parallel worlds. Eri and Ben are just trying to get through the summer before university. When a magical key turns up in an old spare set, all three are forced to change their plans and fast.
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Hemlock
Josceline Fenton
A witch accidentally marries a monster, and now she and her familiar has to navigate life around her monstrous husband and her even more terrifying in-laws.
Shaderunners
Alex Assan, Lin Darrow
A ragtag band of bootleggers open a speakeasy for bottled colour in the greyscale city of Ironwell.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
No End
Erli, Kromi
A queer romance about people attempting to build lives in a cold, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by hordes of undead.
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I dunno. Running around in a cardboard box and smackin’ people with your solid snake sounds like a quick way to get arrested. It does ALSO sound very Walky, however. At least, it does if the cardboard box is taco themed in design, and the snake is a toy.
Did you miss the bit where she roared, jumped out at the dude stalking her with a gun, and started trying to bite his face?? She’s a fierce dinosaur and utterly delightful!
Though that may be because gun just beats dinosaur. She may fare better against Blaine, who while probably a mob stooge seems to emphasize the ‘stooge’ more than mob.
Ooooh, Dumbing of Age characters in D&D classes! Fun! Ok, let’s see. Dina’s obviously the Rogue. Danny is clearly the Bard, but not the jack-of-all-trades type, just one solely dedicated to buffing others, and built like a porcelain statue. Despite her recent beginnings of a departure from faith, Joyce is still our best bet for a cleric. Dorothy, with her intelligence, needs to be our wizard. Amazigirl should be the Ranger, seeing as her acrobatics are off the scale, she’s good at tracking, and she’s got a fairly high DPS. That being said, as Amber she is more of a barbarian, when she goes into feral rages. Ethan is our tanky Paladin. Sal’s role is tricky, she’s too cool to simply be a fighter, but I don’t know if Monk suits her. Maybe she’s another Ranger. Walky can be the plucky comic relief.
Like I said, Mike’s an evil Bard – instead of inspiring his allies he goads his enemies (and we are all his enemies.) Sarah I think is a Warlock whose patron is the Great Pumpkin. Billie is definitely a Fighter. We could still use a barbarian for extra damage output but the best bet on that is Amber and it is not healthy for her.
Back with more roles for characters. Billie is pretty well suited to be our armored-up, booze-fueled Fighter, the kind that’s the center of attention in taverns with a tankard in one hand and a wench in the other. Actually, the same goes for Joe. Sierra, always barefoot, is a natural Druid. Ruth is currently seeking a sort of enlightenment, and she has excellent hand-to-hand skills, so she can be our Monk. Jacob can be another tanky Paladin, with more faith-based abilities than Ethan. Finally, a Warlock is “a wielder of magic that is derived from a bargain with an extraplanar entity.” If anybody’d do that, it’d be Mike.
Ooh, I like that idea for Sarah. And now that I think about it, the bard ability “Vicious Mockery” does perfectly suit Mike, so Chaotic Evil Bard it is. Also, glad we came to the same conclusion for Billie.
Sal rides a steed and hits things. And she’s crazy about her code, and is on an atonement ark. And dulls out sage advice about feelings. She’s a fighter-knight
Strength>Wis>Cha>Int>Con>Dex
Dorothy is trying for persuasion and has successfully bluffed many times. She’s a wizard that wants to be a bard SO Bad. She’s multiclassed wizard/bard. Probably illusionist?
Ruth is a barbarian of some kind.
Carla… Does D&D have mechanists? If not, sorcerer. Draws power from rich family. And has diabolical machinations.
Mike is a warlock. He heard they have dark bindings.
I still stick with solid bothering, he even punched Asher so Sal wouldn’t have to when she learned he was an irredeemable shit.
I mean, Asher may have claimed to be a good guy and turned over a new leaf, but in Sal’s eyes, he’s probably unforgivable. Good to know he won’t cause new trouble, but I wouldn’t really want to go out for brunch with him.
And hey, now Sal doesn’t get in trouble for the punch that Asher clearly deserved!
I love how happy Sal looked for that brief moment, but knew that wasn’t going to last when she found out about the punch. But really, if we were in Walky’s shoes, wouldn’t you have done the same thing?
i’ve decided that in five years when the asher-sal ship is confirmed, this will be the strip i look back to and say ‘i told you so,’ because amber isn’t the only one who can write terrible slash about people in her head
Brother of the year! Which isn’t that hard to achieve considering there are like maybe 3 brothers in this comic we know of and non of them are really setting the bar too high.
Yeah. “We”, in this context pretty much says they’re back on. Of course, them going on the investi-date in the first place did too. While there’s a non-zero chance they didn’t make out between there and here, you know they did.
After all, the punch only happened after Asher confessed to setting up Sal for arrest, something that has led to Amber struggling with serious mental illness for years. So, maybe it was an understandable reaction on Walky’s part.
Sadly, it’s in direct contrast to Sal’s VERY hard-earned life lesson (and solemn promise to Marcie) to let past grievances go and leave the crimes against herself and her loved ones go un-avanged.
I very much hope that is not the life lesson in question, but rather fight smart, or I am going to loathe the rest of everything to do with Blaine and Ryan’s puppets.
Bruh you gotta start with the intel, not how you punched him. How she gonna know you punched him for *reasons* if you don’t give em first so the punchening sounds reasonable?
Chaotic Dumb, most of them. Mary, Mike, and Toedad are Lawful Evil, Blaine is Chaotic Evil. Dina is Neutral Good, AmaziGirl is Lawful Neutral, Sierra is Chaotic Good, Rachel is PROBABLY Lawful something not-Evil, Agatha is Precious Cinnamon Roll.
That’s not true: Lawful doesn’t mean “adheres to the laws of land”. You can totally be Lawful and stop a slaver from beating a slave in a land where slavery is legal. It means a strong adherence to a code. I posit that AG is firmly Lawful, as evidenced by her actions in the parking lot, where she wanted to fight Sal but instead of just doing it she tried to goad her onto throwing the first punch.
Maybe not the laws of the land per se. But it’s definitely not a matter of a personal code, or say Robin Hood would be a lawful character, and he was one of the archetypes for the opposite. I don’t know exactly how much it changes between different versions, but here’s the text from the 5th edition manual:
Lawful good (LG) creatures can be counted on to do the right thing as expected by society. Gold dragons, paladins, and most dwarves are lawful good.
Neutral good (NG) folk do the best they can to help others according to their needs. Many celestials, som e cloud giants, and most gnomes are neutral good.
Chaotic good (CG) creatures act as their conscience directs, with little regard for what others expect. Copper dragons, many elves, and unicorns are chaotic good.
I would say vigilantes like Amazi-girl and Batman are definitely doing what their conscience directs, not what society expects of them.
True facts there was definitely an E grade instead of F in my old middle/high school, and I received it many times, so I am pretty sure that’s the low kind of E.
Now Asher is much more likely to seek out Sal, when he probably hadn’t thought of her for years. This was a bad misteak on Walky’s part. And I think it is DYW installing a plot device to explain Asher’s reappearance later.
So I updated the fanfic I’ve been doing for fun. The premise is that after a large time skip, Carla ends up meeting a depressed, reserved, and secular Mary. Carla is very confused, and it’s from her perspective. She’s fun to write.
Did y’all know there’s apparently conversion camps for people with anxiety? I just found out about this. My roommate was gonna drive me up to the local college in a few days so I could ask about some class thing they supposedly had, that was designed to help coach people like me at social interaction. Well, she just talked to her boyfriend and he said she remembered it wrong and that it’s actually a two-year “You stay here until you’re normal” type thing that one of his PS4 buddies had gone to.
The way he described it, it sounded exactly like straight camp, except instead of making me straight it’s designed to make me act like a neurotypical. ‘Round these parts, that basically means I’d be conditioned to behave like an impatient moron with no common sense or ability to comprehend simple questions. What a thing to exist.
Me reading this:
“conversion camps” – well, that sounds terrible
“for people with anxiety” – sliiiightly less bad?
rest of it: Oh, nope, first instinct was right after all.
As a general rule, if any part of anything includes the words “conversion camp” but not the words “burn it all to the ground”, it’s not going to be good.
Wow. Like the kind of place to try and beat/electroshock people into compliance? That sounds horrific.
Or even if it’s based on some twisted interpretation of exposure therapy, that’s extremely traumatic when done wrong. And if you’re not allowed to leave, I’m pretty sure they ain’t doing it right.
(Damnit, my phone has started having my tablet’s problem where it refuses to remember my name/email for comments. Let’s see if I can remember the one that gets me Dina)
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solid brotherin’
(more like Solid Snake-in’)
[should have used more cardboard boxes tho]
Meh. Once she finds out why he smacked Asher, I think Sal will come around.
I dunno. Running around in a cardboard box and smackin’ people with your solid snake sounds like a quick way to get arrested. It does ALSO sound very Walky, however. At least, it does if the cardboard box is taco themed in design, and the snake is a toy.
Okay, so the brotherin’ wasn’t so much solid. Maybe gelatinous brotherin’. Somewhat viscous brotherin’.
Still a step up over Walky’s usually gaseous brotherin’. Especially when he’s been at the McNuggets.
Quick clay brotherin’? Plasma brotherin’?
Yield stress fluid brotherin’.
Non-newtonian fluid brotherin’.
It’s fluid and runny, until you smack it, then it firms up.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/oobleck-bring-science-home/
OMG, you people are going to make me giggle myself into and early grave….
Is the word we are lookin’ for:thixatropy?
Or are we looking for the opposit of that?
Aw, and Sal looked so happy, too…
… I was about to comment on their lack of stealth skills, but frankly I’m not sure there’s a single competent rogue in the cast.
Dina.
Ah, right! We do have Dina.
She’s so competent even us commenters forget about her at times.
Despite being our favorite character, beating the runner up by over 14%.
Joyce, Becky, and Jocelyne broke into their own house, so that’s gotta count for something.
Oh, and Danny has been becoming irrelevant to the point that I forgot he existed for a second.
That actually happens fairly often.
That’s not the same thing as being stealthy.
There are plenty of stories of people loosing interest while being arrested and just walking off.
Being forgettable is a talent!
He’s excellent at misdirection everyone just sees his hat
Danny is clearly the bard. With the Ukelele and the hat and everyone generally being exasperated at his actions.
That’s not stealth, that’s just being inert.
Who?
WITH CATLIKE TREAD!
[Enter Ruth] “Tarantara, Tarantara!”
Upon our prey we steal!
IN SILENCE DREAD
OUR CAUTIOUS WAY WE FEEL
NO SOUND AT ALL!
WE NEVER SPEAK A WORD
A FLY’S FOOT-ALL
WOULD BE DISTINCTLY HEARD
-dammit people, at least finish the verse.
There’s always Mike, But he uses his powers for Evil.
Or at least Asshole-ness
Rogues are pretty evil.
I’d argue that Mike is an Evil Bard.
Jack of all trades, uses words, ultimately without any real use?
…. yeah, checks out.
Joyce is pretty darn sneaky.
And… Mike?
shame, they could really use the extra sneak attack damage for when blaine comes back
Right? Dina has poor damage output.
Did you miss the bit where she roared, jumped out at the dude stalking her with a gun, and started trying to bite his face?? She’s a fierce dinosaur and utterly delightful!
Sadly, it did not do much to actually deter him.
Though that may be because gun just beats dinosaur. She may fare better against Blaine, who while probably a mob stooge seems to emphasize the ‘stooge’ more than mob.
Ooooh, Dumbing of Age characters in D&D classes! Fun! Ok, let’s see. Dina’s obviously the Rogue. Danny is clearly the Bard, but not the jack-of-all-trades type, just one solely dedicated to buffing others, and built like a porcelain statue. Despite her recent beginnings of a departure from faith, Joyce is still our best bet for a cleric. Dorothy, with her intelligence, needs to be our wizard. Amazigirl should be the Ranger, seeing as her acrobatics are off the scale, she’s good at tracking, and she’s got a fairly high DPS. That being said, as Amber she is more of a barbarian, when she goes into feral rages. Ethan is our tanky Paladin. Sal’s role is tricky, she’s too cool to simply be a fighter, but I don’t know if Monk suits her. Maybe she’s another Ranger. Walky can be the plucky comic relief.
Like I said, Mike’s an evil Bard – instead of inspiring his allies he goads his enemies (and we are all his enemies.) Sarah I think is a Warlock whose patron is the Great Pumpkin. Billie is definitely a Fighter. We could still use a barbarian for extra damage output but the best bet on that is Amber and it is not healthy for her.
But we know Sara’s preferred weapon is a club, and she carries I think a taser?
Who uses maces?
Back with more roles for characters. Billie is pretty well suited to be our armored-up, booze-fueled Fighter, the kind that’s the center of attention in taverns with a tankard in one hand and a wench in the other. Actually, the same goes for Joe. Sierra, always barefoot, is a natural Druid. Ruth is currently seeking a sort of enlightenment, and she has excellent hand-to-hand skills, so she can be our Monk. Jacob can be another tanky Paladin, with more faith-based abilities than Ethan. Finally, a Warlock is “a wielder of magic that is derived from a bargain with an extraplanar entity.” If anybody’d do that, it’d be Mike.
Ooh, I like that idea for Sarah. And now that I think about it, the bard ability “Vicious Mockery” does perfectly suit Mike, so Chaotic Evil Bard it is. Also, glad we came to the same conclusion for Billie.
Sal rides a steed and hits things. And she’s crazy about her code, and is on an atonement ark. And dulls out sage advice about feelings. She’s a fighter-knight
Strength>Wis>Cha>Int>Con>Dex
Dorothy is trying for persuasion and has successfully bluffed many times. She’s a wizard that wants to be a bard SO Bad. She’s multiclassed wizard/bard. Probably illusionist?
Ruth is a barbarian of some kind.
Carla… Does D&D have mechanists? If not, sorcerer. Draws power from rich family. And has diabolical machinations.
Mike is a warlock. He heard they have dark bindings.
Carla… Does D&D have mechanists?
Artificer.
Sal could be a dual-classed Fighter/Rogue
Look, no one competent would have agreed to these hijinks anyway!
“But in our defense, he admitted to setting you up to get arrested for shits and giggles, so he deserved it!”
I still stick with solid bothering, he even punched Asher so Sal wouldn’t have to when she learned he was an irredeemable shit.
I mean, Asher may have claimed to be a good guy and turned over a new leaf, but in Sal’s eyes, he’s probably unforgivable. Good to know he won’t cause new trouble, but I wouldn’t really want to go out for brunch with him.
And hey, now Sal doesn’t get in trouble for the punch that Asher clearly deserved!
Solid bothering, or solid *brothering*??
Are they really that different?
Given that this is a LITTLE brother? Nope.
Little of Column A, little of Column B, little of Column “Oops, that was a typo”
Walky never did get in trouble as a kid, did he. He clearly has never had to spin why the dog’s the back has a smiley face shaved into the fur.
I love how happy Sal looked for that brief moment, but knew that wasn’t going to last when she found out about the punch. But really, if we were in Walky’s shoes, wouldn’t you have done the same thing?
Naw, I don’t like going to the slammer for assault personally.
i’ve decided that in five years when the asher-sal ship is confirmed, this will be the strip i look back to and say ‘i told you so,’ because amber isn’t the only one who can write terrible slash about people in her head
Sal herself:
“Is there a movie where a boy and a girl sublimate their wayward horniness through endless bickerin’?”
A C for keeping your cool.
He MEANS well, Sal, give him partial credit. He’s new to this.
And what’s this ‘we’ shit, Amber? You didn’t punch jack shit.
Yeah, Amber, it was, like, a whole thing for you to not be the punchy one.
Amber was being punch-supportive.
Yeah, for once it was not Amber doing the punching.
“We started a Family Feud.”
“But Amber’s not family!”
“Not YET.”
Which feud? Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, Richard Karn, Louie Anderson, John O’Hurley, or Steve Harvey?
Steve Harvey. Gotta have that look of disbelief.
I don’t think so,
Tim. Richard Karn gets my vote. Dawson’s second, but he tended to get kinda grabby with the contestants.More like solid botherin’.
Sal realises any fears about Walky taking the Family Badass trophy from her were…okay, Sal was never afraid of that.
Go team!
Awww, Sal’s happy face is so cute!!
“That punch was for vengeance.”
Now give Sal the context on the punching.
And when did they jump Asher? I didn’t think they jumped him, he busted them spying on him.
Do you think this occurs before or after the make out session?
What about during?
Is Amber trying to cover for Walky by implying that she was involved in the punch and allowing Sal to infer that it was not Walky?
She’s jealous, so she’s taking half credit.
Brother of the year! Which isn’t that hard to achieve considering there are like maybe 3 brothers in this comic we know of and non of them are really setting the bar too high.
Let’s see Joyce’s Older Brother, Ruth’s Howie, and there aren’t many sisters either. A lot of only childs
Danny’s older brother who’s in Afghanistan and… Faz.
Siblings in the main cast – Joyce, Walky (and Sal obviously), Amber (step siblings count), Danny, Sarah, Roz, Ruth, and Jacob.
I don’t think we’ve got confirmation on any of the others.
Lucy has a brother a year older in McNutt
Knew I forgot someone.
Does Joe count?
I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sis.
“You punched the Asher?”
“Let me buy me a drink.”
What’s this “We” shit, that was all on Walky….Unless she’s trying to cover for him.
Or she considers them an item.
Yeah. “We”, in this context pretty much says they’re back on. Of course, them going on the investi-date in the first place did too. While there’s a non-zero chance they didn’t make out between there and here, you know they did.
“… So, good guy? Bad guy…?”
“He is a guy that has been punched.”
A swing and a… well I would say “miss” but there probably wouldn’t be a problem if that was the case.
Well, so long as you only just ‘may’ have done all that, I guess it’s OK.
Still solid brothering.
Not… perhaps the most constructive action to take, but solid in the brothering department.
After all, the punch only happened after Asher confessed to setting up Sal for arrest, something that has led to Amber struggling with serious mental illness for years. So, maybe it was an understandable reaction on Walky’s part.
Highly understandable.
Sadly, it’s in direct contrast to Sal’s VERY hard-earned life lesson (and solemn promise to Marcie) to let past grievances go and leave the crimes against herself and her loved ones go un-avanged.
Which Sal is keeping, she can’t help her brother.
Nobody can, really.
So she is not her brothers keeper?
I very much hope that is not the life lesson in question, but rather fight smart, or I am going to loathe the rest of everything to do with Blaine and Ryan’s puppets.
So I guess from brotherin’ to botherin’
The Walky and Amber Awesome Show, Great Job!
“Also we had sex.”
“…that’s na really relevant.”
“To you it’s not.”
“We may have committed some light assault and battery.”
“But it was all for you at least, which makes it fine!”
Poor Sal! Cursed with friends and kin about whom the most she can say is: “Well, they tried and their hearts were in the right place!”
To be fair, that’s has been her OWN best endorsement for a very long time.
At this point, we can only hope he didn’t grow up to be a complete ash-hole.
You should be ash-amed.
Bruh you gotta start with the intel, not how you punched him. How she gonna know you punched him for *reasons* if you don’t give em first so the punchening sounds reasonable?
Walky probably wants to avoid the ‘why’ aspect. He rightfully suspects that it may send Sal to a very bad place.
Verdict: Asher is a piece of shit.
You didn’t punch him, Amber. Walky did a Linkara. “I AM A MAN!”
Re: Dumbing of Age cast as D&D characters:
What are their alignments and stats?
Chaotic Dumb, most of them. Mary, Mike, and Toedad are Lawful Evil, Blaine is Chaotic Evil. Dina is Neutral Good, AmaziGirl is Lawful Neutral, Sierra is Chaotic Good, Rachel is PROBABLY Lawful something not-Evil, Agatha is Precious Cinnamon Roll.
Depending on your motive, vigilantism might be chaotic good or chaotic evil, but it’s implicitly not lawful.
That’s not true: Lawful doesn’t mean “adheres to the laws of land”. You can totally be Lawful and stop a slaver from beating a slave in a land where slavery is legal. It means a strong adherence to a code. I posit that AG is firmly Lawful, as evidenced by her actions in the parking lot, where she wanted to fight Sal but instead of just doing it she tried to goad her onto throwing the first punch.
Maybe not the laws of the land per se. But it’s definitely not a matter of a personal code, or say Robin Hood would be a lawful character, and he was one of the archetypes for the opposite. I don’t know exactly how much it changes between different versions, but here’s the text from the 5th edition manual:
I would say vigilantes like Amazi-girl and Batman are definitely doing what their conscience directs, not what society expects of them.
Good job letting out of the story the hot & bothered making out times that followed.
“Yeah, I was stupid to get my hopes up”
you tried
“…I don’t know what I expected.”
Please don’t tell her why you punched him, please dont tell her why you punched him, please don’t tell her why you punched him.
E for effort, guys.
Is that ‘E’ like in E/S/U, or ‘E’, like the nonexistent grade between ‘D’ and ‘F’?
True facts there was definitely an E grade instead of F in my old middle/high school, and I received it many times, so I am pretty sure that’s the low kind of E.
There’s more to it than that Sal, don’t get mad at them yet, you know Walky is bad at explaining things and Amber is just bad a peopleing.
Have we started a betting pool on whether she already knew and/or guessed about Asher’s call yet?
Now Asher is much more likely to seek out Sal, when he probably hadn’t thought of her for years. This was a bad misteak on Walky’s part. And I think it is DYW installing a plot device to explain Asher’s reappearance later.
Why is he more likely now?
Because he’s had no contact in years and now he’s been reminded.
So I updated the fanfic I’ve been doing for fun. The premise is that after a large time skip, Carla ends up meeting a depressed, reserved, and secular Mary. Carla is very confused, and it’s from her perspective. She’s fun to write.
Here’s Chapter One, so a place to start if you haven’t read it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480057/chapters/46370893
And here’s Chapter Two, which is where we are: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480057/chapters/47041657#workskin
Did y’all know there’s apparently conversion camps for people with anxiety? I just found out about this. My roommate was gonna drive me up to the local college in a few days so I could ask about some class thing they supposedly had, that was designed to help coach people like me at social interaction. Well, she just talked to her boyfriend and he said she remembered it wrong and that it’s actually a two-year “You stay here until you’re normal” type thing that one of his PS4 buddies had gone to.
The way he described it, it sounded exactly like straight camp, except instead of making me straight it’s designed to make me act like a neurotypical. ‘Round these parts, that basically means I’d be conditioned to behave like an impatient moron with no common sense or ability to comprehend simple questions. What a thing to exist.
Me reading this:
“conversion camps” – well, that sounds terrible
“for people with anxiety” – sliiiightly less bad?
rest of it: Oh, nope, first instinct was right after all.
As a general rule, if any part of anything includes the words “conversion camp” but not the words “burn it all to the ground”, it’s not going to be good.
Glad for you that you dodged that bullet.
Wow. Like the kind of place to try and beat/electroshock people into compliance? That sounds horrific.
Or even if it’s based on some twisted interpretation of exposure therapy, that’s extremely traumatic when done wrong. And if you’re not allowed to leave, I’m pretty sure they ain’t doing it right.
(Damnit, my phone has started having my tablet’s problem where it refuses to remember my name/email for comments. Let’s see if I can remember the one that gets me Dina)
still laughing …
It makes sense that Amber would lead with confessing the worst, since that’s what she instinctively thinks of herself…