Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 14, 2026

Fully armed

by David M Willis on July 3, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Vote for Robin
└ Tags: carla, marcie, sal

Discussion (120) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 3, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    Carla’s gonna make (it ab)out (herself)?

    • anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness
      anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness
      July 3, 2019 at 9:17 am | #

      My decaffeinated low sugar pudding engine generates the next strip from a divergent timeline.
      1) Carla prevents either from quickly escaping with a waist hug
      2) plants one on Marcie to get a reaction from Sal
      3) Sal reacts. Marcie looks speculative. Carla is grinning.
      4) Carla plants one on Sal ala full leg sweep over the knee style.
      5) Blank filler quarter panel
      6) Marcie signs [she is good] Sal [dang] Carla [again?]

  2. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 3, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    Oooh, now Carla’s involved!

    This story gets funnier by the minute. I fucking love it.

  3. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 3, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    It’s Carla’s age, they just dumb in it.

    • davidbreslin101
      davidbreslin101
      July 3, 2019 at 7:21 am | #

      The movie theatre in my brain is now showing a mashup called: “Avengers: Age of Carla.”

      • Suitora
        Suitora
        July 3, 2019 at 11:47 am | #

        Carla would have this huge culmination for the heroes to agonize about, and the Avengers would try to stop her from going about her supposed evil plan, but then she would just light up a huge cluster of lights in space that everyone could see, saying “TRANS RIGHTS”.

      • JustcallmeSoul
        JustcallmeSoul
        July 3, 2019 at 2:57 pm | #

        C’mon. It was right there in front of you. “Avengers: Age of Ultra-car”

  4. Jamie
    Jamie
    July 3, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    Sooooo….. Malaya is going to try to seduce Carla, isn’t she?

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      July 3, 2019 at 2:46 am | #

      That might see the limits of Carla’s desire to let things be about her.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 3, 2019 at 7:25 am | #

        Carla did have that weird “abuse me, Malaya” phase.

    • Coru
      Coru
      July 3, 2019 at 8:57 am | #

      Well, we were told that no original Walkyverse ‘ships will carry over, and Malaya/Ultracar were romantically involved, in as much as Malaya is capable of romance.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 3, 2019 at 10:50 am | #

        OTOH, Ruth/Billie.

        I think it was more that they wouldn’t by default and wouldn’t unless he had something different he wanted to do with them.

  5. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    July 3, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    Carla
    Gender: Trans-woman
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Quirk: Black Hole

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 3, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      Class: Mechromancer
      Age: Dumbing
      Dislikes: Yes
      Patronus: Ultra Car

      • EvilMidnightLurker
        EvilMidnightLurker
        July 3, 2019 at 1:23 am | #

        Is she specced Anarchy?

        • pjeseb
          pjeseb
          July 3, 2019 at 9:10 am | #

          Every Mechromancer is specced into Anarchy. You can’t make a viable build without it.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            July 3, 2019 at 9:18 am | #

            Anarchy, an Infinity, and Close Enough = funtimes.

            It’s like the Borderlands equivalent to Yondu unleashing his arrow.

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            July 3, 2019 at 4:43 pm | #

            I used Anarchy for all of 5 minutes, before respeccing to focus on Deathtrap.

            Gaige was the only character I used until I started Maya to do the new DLC.

    • Schol-R-LEA
      Schol-R-LEA
      July 3, 2019 at 12:29 pm | #

      Hey, I’ve already put Carla in Poe Cottage (in one of my “Dumbing to Whateley” micro-fanfics). And yes, I had her as a Shifter who could turn into a car.

  6. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 3, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    “I think you vastly underestimate my ability to make things be about me.”

    I am decades older than Carla and I have come nowhere as close as she has to nailing my joke epitath.

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      July 3, 2019 at 11:26 am | #

      So you’re saying she made it about her?

      • Jamie
        Jamie
        July 4, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

        You get an internet.

  7. ian livs
    ian livs
    July 3, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Gonna steal that line next time my parents talk shit at me. It’s just too good.

  8. Tarkara
    Tarkara
    July 3, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Look at Marcie’s eyes.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 3, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      Fun fact: she’s wearing regular glasses and just happens to be a Terminator.

  9. CMasta
    CMasta
    July 3, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    Marcie catching feelings…

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      July 3, 2019 at 8:34 pm | #

      This’ll end well.

  10. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    July 3, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    Sal, just do what you did for the other ones. Tell Malaya you want to fuck Marcie and watch her go to town.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 3, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

      Jeez I hope there are limits to that power.

      Sal: “Hey Malaya, that dumpster full of broken glass and porcupines is kinda hot.”

      Malaya: “Oh yeah?! CANNONBALL!”

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      July 3, 2019 at 1:38 am | #

      Yeah, that method seems like it’d be more effective on Malaya.

  11. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    July 3, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    What if they have to smooch? Wouldn’t that be weird for them?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 3, 2019 at 1:47 am | #

      I can’t imagine this situation ever becoming weird…

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      July 3, 2019 at 1:55 am | #

      It might be weird for Sal. I think Marcie will love it.

      • Nono
        Nono
        July 3, 2019 at 4:52 am | #

        Why would Marcie love it? Just because she’s attracted to women? Doesn’t mean she’s attracted to Sal.

        • Shen Hibiki
          Shen Hibiki
          July 3, 2019 at 5:52 am | #

          In this comic? I think every character is a bit into Sal.
          Well, except her bro.
          I think.

        • Falcon
          Falcon
          July 3, 2019 at 12:25 pm | #

          Because Marcie is attracted to Sal. Like, right now.

        • BarerMender
          BarerMender
          July 3, 2019 at 6:45 pm | #

          Because Marcie’s been in love with Sal for a thousand years?

          • Jade
            Jade
            July 3, 2019 at 9:28 pm | #

            And she’ll love her for a thousand more~

            … in this situation, is Marcie the sparkly vampire?

            • BarerMender
              BarerMender
              July 4, 2019 at 1:38 am | #

              Marcie’s an immortal, but it’s a secret. Sal doesn’t know.

  12. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 3, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    The Endor Justifies The Means?

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 3, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      Ewok away, Stephen Bierce.

      Ewok. Away.

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        July 3, 2019 at 12:44 am | #

        Are we starting another pun chain here? Cause usually they just keep getting Wars & Wars…

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          July 3, 2019 at 1:08 am | #

          And there can be Leias upon Leias of responses.

          • Keulen
            Keulen
            July 3, 2019 at 1:31 am | #

            This pun chain is a Force to be reckoned with.

          • FacelessDeviant
            FacelessDeviant
            July 3, 2019 at 4:49 am | #

            This Obi-Wan cannot be.

            • Shen Hibiki
              Shen Hibiki
              July 3, 2019 at 5:53 am | #

              This pun chains R2-silly…

              • davidbreslin101
                davidbreslin101
                July 3, 2019 at 7:24 am | #

                All this jibber-Jabba’s doin’ my head in.

                • Schpoonman
                  Schpoonman
                  July 3, 2019 at 9:18 pm | #

                  I hate all of you.

                • Screwball
                  Screwball
                  July 3, 2019 at 10:34 pm | #

                  The Dark Side is strong with Schpoonman…

                • Chris Phoenix
                  Chris Phoenix
                  July 4, 2019 at 7:10 pm | #

                  And to think, it all started with an Endor’s game…

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 3, 2019 at 8:01 am | #

      That Carla is no moon!

  13. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    July 3, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    “Carla! Where’d you come from?”

    “I’ve been taking teleportation lessons from Joyce.”

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      July 3, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

      “I’ve been taking apparation lessons from Dina.”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        July 3, 2019 at 2:01 am | #

        Prey she never learns the triangular smile.

        • Shen Hibiki
          Shen Hibiki
          July 3, 2019 at 5:52 am | #

          No, you don’t want to be her prey!

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          July 3, 2019 at 8:10 am | #

          What do you mean? Dina has already mastered it!

  14. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    July 3, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    Carla, I love you, but please leave.

  15. Lars nelson
    Lars nelson
    July 3, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    What if Malaya’s plan all along has been to do what Sal is doing right now? Take away everything Sal has so only Marcie remains? Make Sal get with Marcie just to spite Malaya but then be something more?

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      July 3, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

      That would be really fucked up.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      July 3, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

      That’d be disturbing. I don’t get what her motivation would be.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 3, 2019 at 1:17 am | #

      That would require Malaya to have at least enough empathy to understand what matters to Sal. And any scenario that requires Malaya to have even a shred of empathy would run pretty much contrary to everything we know about Malaya.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 3, 2019 at 7:30 am | #

        Yeah, it’s pretty clear from every past interaction that Malaya’s read of Sal is completely wrong in pretty much every way.

    • Shane Wegner
      Shane Wegner
      July 3, 2019 at 5:30 am | #

      Too complex, too vindictive, too obsessed. “Take away everything someone has due to minor annoyance” isn’t something Malaya could reasonably do nor would care enough to do. My take: She likes to spread her brand of truth to those who happen to be around, but she would see going out of her way to obsess about someone clingy and lap-dog like.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 3, 2019 at 7:32 am | #

        This I’m not so sure of. Malaya’s been shown to be pretty obsessed with outdoing Sal. That’s what Sal’s whole plan is based on.
        I don’t completely buy it, but I wouldn’t be wholly surprised if her friendship with Marcie was at least initially based on taking her away from Sal.

  16. Mal
    Mal
    July 3, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    I love Carla. I love Carla. I can enjoy a character who acts like an asshole, knows their an asshole, cheerfully owns the fact that they’re an asshole, but who isn’t actually a bad person. Like, Carla is a force of chaos, but isn’t as gleefully, or maliciously, destructive as Mike can be.

  17. Piotr W
    Piotr W
    July 3, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    I love Carla :))

  18. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    July 3, 2019 at 12:15 am | #

    I love Carla, and I love that Carla loves Carla.

  19. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    July 3, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

    Yes, good, more Carla, less Malaya. Carla is too ridiculous to get on my nerves no matter how intrusive she is.

    Also, Marcie’s feeling some kind of way about this hand-holding, and I’m not sure what that way is.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 3, 2019 at 1:57 am | #

      I read panel 2 Marcie as “you can let go now”, and panel 4 as “seriously, let go”.

      In the last panel, either Marcie’s second-guessing the plan because there might be something more to their relationship that neither of them has acknowledged yet, or Sal was subconsciously squeezing harder as she got frustrated and it hurt a little.

    • John Smith
      John Smith
      July 3, 2019 at 9:15 am | #

      I’m still thinking this is going to be a cover of that old hit song “crush on your best friend.” We’ve had performances from Becky and Amber so far, after all.

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      July 3, 2019 at 11:33 am | #

      You mean something more than “Could you let go of my hand so I can say something?”

      Marcie can’t speak, her hands are her mouth.

  20. LightPunster
    LightPunster
    July 3, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

    Calling it now: this was Marcie’s plan all along, but…TWIST! Marcie was pretending to be into Maylaya because she thought it would make Sal jealous.

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      July 3, 2019 at 9:47 am | #

      The more time passes, the more I’m inclined to believe that. It’d be a heckuva convoluted long-con, but it’s not impossible! And, bonus, it’d be a hilarious reveal!

  21. Kyoulkoa
    Kyoulkoa
    July 3, 2019 at 12:28 am | #

    DoA Book9:I think you vastly underestimate my ability to make things be about me

    • Meagan
      Meagan
      July 3, 2019 at 1:16 am | #

      We’ve had a Carla quote as a title before, so I’d like something from a different character. On the other hand, having two book titles be her quotes would fit the exact sentence.

      This inspired me to go take an assessment of who said what titles. It may require more archive digging than I can handle. Partial list:

      Book 1: ???
      Book 2: Joyce
      3: Ruth
      4: Who said this? Was it Amazi-Girl about herself?
      5: Becky
      6: Carla
      7: Joe
      8: Amber – hey, does this count as Amber getting two? Sort of? she was less fragmented back when she said that for book 4, if it was her.

      We are due a book title by Sal or Danny or Dina or …

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        July 3, 2019 at 1:20 am | #

        Book one is Walky and Book 4 was indeed AG.

        And the narrative has tagged AG and Amber separately from the start. I think it counts as two characters. Regardless, they were more fragmented by book 8 when Amber said it, so I’d say that still counts.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        July 3, 2019 at 1:30 am | #

        Pretty sure Book 1 was Walky.

  22. GutterChick
    GutterChick
    July 3, 2019 at 12:29 am | #

    Man I hope this ends with Marcie and Sal together that’s all I’ve ever wanted

  23. Dean
    Dean
    July 3, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

    Last panel Marcie is considering whether faking a Billie-Marcie-Carla love triangle would be too much shenanigans.

  24. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    July 3, 2019 at 12:49 am | #

    Carla Wars Episode IV: A New Hopelessness.

  25. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    July 3, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

    Marcie just realized she held hands with Sal. This is going in a way Sal didn’t expect.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 3, 2019 at 2:09 am | #

      Yeah, it strikes me that she’s pondering on whether it’s a good thing that she’s now got her hand back.

  26. Meagan
    Meagan
    July 3, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

    Not that Marcie doesn’t adapt beautifully to being mute, and not that this has anything to do with this strip really, but can I just donate the money for her surgery already, if she still wants her voice back and it is still possible? Can we have a fundraiser?

    I randomly got a touch in the feels about the unjustness of her being hung out to dry in the way she was. Especially when Sal tried so hard to get the money together.

    I think I got these feels because their handholding reminded me of the long and complicated nature of their friendship.

    • Sunfish
      Sunfish
      July 3, 2019 at 11:27 am | #

      Articulate, just, long-range, empathetic post. Avatar checks out.

  27. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 3, 2019 at 1:46 am | #

    what an utterly unpredictable turn of events.

  28. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 3, 2019 at 2:07 am | #

    I should’ve guessed that Carla is a Warsie!

    The worrying implication (at least for Marcie’s desires) is that Malaya is only interested in things that are about Malaya and in bullying people. So long as Marcie isn’t too obviously making Sal happy, then Malaya has no interest in her.

  29. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    July 3, 2019 at 2:15 am | #

    Marcie may have new questions to ponder about

  30. NF
    NF
    July 3, 2019 at 2:24 am | #

    Carla’s alignment is Chaotic Jerk.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      July 3, 2019 at 3:05 am | #

      As Willis puts it on the cast page, her message to the universe appears to be: “Pay attention to meee!!!”

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        July 3, 2019 at 3:55 am | #

        Carla should go become a youtube celebrity. She’d get all the attention she’d want.

  31. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    July 3, 2019 at 2:55 am | #

    Buzz off, Carla. 😛

  32. SpaceshipPilot
    SpaceshipPilot
    July 3, 2019 at 3:19 am | #

    Is “Armed and operational battle station” a euphemism? It feels like a euphemism in this context.

    • Chexwarrior
      Chexwarrior
      July 3, 2019 at 7:18 am | #

      Star wars reference, in Return of the Jedi the Emperor tricked the rebels into thinking that Death Star the second was incomplete, however he made sure the superlaser was ready to pop their capital ships when they showed up to attack. Emperor was taunting Luke because his friends were about to get wrecked “Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will, commander.”

      • SpaceshipPilot
        SpaceshipPilot
        July 3, 2019 at 7:44 am | #

        I know what it’s a reference to. Just wondered if it had another meaning. 😛

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 3, 2019 at 8:15 am | #

      FULLY!

    • Bathymetheus
      Bathymetheus
      July 3, 2019 at 10:57 pm | #

      My take is that Carla has grasped that Sal and Marcie are attempting some sort of con/shenanigans. And since they were looking at Malaya while discussing it, she may reasonably infer that Malaya is their intended mark.

      Whether she understands the natue of the con is less clear. Carla has little interest in sex, but can hardly be unaware that most people are obsessed with it. So she might infer that one or both of them intend some sort of sexual ploy involving Malaya.

      Her reference to her power suggests she intends to show them that she can do what they have been unable to. However, since we have no idea what she thinks they want to accomplish, her intervention is likely to be hilariously off-base.

      • Bathymetheus
        Bathymetheus
        July 3, 2019 at 10:58 pm | #

        Italics were supposed to inlude “might” only.

  33. BarerMender
    BarerMender
    July 3, 2019 at 3:27 am | #

    I went back and read all the Marcie strips. At no point do we see Marcie’s eyes. She’s wearing goggles, wearing white-out glasses, or has her eyes closed. We never get to look into her eyes.

    • C.T Phipps
      C.T Phipps
      July 3, 2019 at 3:29 am | #

      If we did, we’d know she was undead.

      • BarerMender
        BarerMender
        July 3, 2019 at 3:38 am | #

        Aw, crap. You’re right. Now how am I going to get to sleep?

        • Tan
          Tan
          July 3, 2019 at 5:39 pm | #

          Just close your eyes and listen to the creaking of the skeleton trapped inside you trying to get out.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        July 3, 2019 at 3:57 am | #

        If Marcie was undead, I would have made a Grav of her already.

    • Seregiel
      Seregiel
      July 3, 2019 at 6:51 pm | #

      Marcy is Sin City’s Kevin, except instead of eating hookers she just wants to eat out Malaya.

  34. Catman
    Catman
    July 3, 2019 at 4:15 am | #

    That last comment makes it sound like she’s already put two and two together and is about to do some shenanigans to make their plan work in a way that has her as the central focus.
    Go Carla. Do the thing.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      July 3, 2019 at 4:41 am | #

      Next page: doing the thing.

  35. BenRG
    BenRG
    July 3, 2019 at 5:28 am | #

    Sort of a ‘P.S.’ thought: Sal, Malaya does know that you and Marcie have been best friends since forever. It is quite possible that the two of you holding hands doesn’t seem so remarkable to her!

  36. Catman
    Catman
    July 3, 2019 at 9:26 am | #

    If her sexuality is the same as in Shortpacked, which Willis has said is true for most characters, Carla isn’t really into sexytimes. The ‘adventure’ would probably be Joe trying to flirt with Carla eating up the attention but not going anywhere with it.

    • Alan in DC
      Alan in DC
      July 3, 2019 at 10:55 am | #

      True dat, but just like the NSFW Dorothy-Joyce ‘April Fool’ makeout artwork, a step outside the reality of the moment can be exhilarating, surprising and very entertaining, while keeping both actors in character.

      Say, a bunch of cleverly-engineered servos suddenly spring to life out of nowhere which restrain and go to town all over Joe, initiated by a single button-push from an uninterested (and frankly nauseated) Carla. Watching from five feet away, Carla thumbs a remote rheostat that controls speed intensity and, most likely the level of discomfort, asking one last time, “You SURE you want to ride this train, Joe?”

      As Amber might offer, “You ought to read the fanfic I’m writing in my head right now.”

  37. TemperaryObsessor
    TemperaryObsessor
    July 3, 2019 at 9:44 am | #

    In all fairness holding hands is not inherently romantic. Besides Malays has shown that she is willing to take Sal’s declaration of interest at face value, even though they came off as half hearted. Maybe tell don’t show. Like say out loud Marcy I am sexually attracted to you so it hurts me when you look at Malaya that way.

  38. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    July 3, 2019 at 9:45 am | #

    Look, it’s working! Carla is totally showing interest in Sal now- … err, no, wait, that’s buisness as usual.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      July 3, 2019 at 12:45 pm | #

      I can hear Cerberus squeeing right now.

      • ShinyNeen
        ShinyNeen
        July 3, 2019 at 6:28 pm | #

        Carla is just adorable around Sal. Cerberus has good taste!

  39. hof1991
    hof1991
    July 3, 2019 at 9:46 am | #

    Love that Marcie’s “eyes” look at Sal, then at their hands together, then at Carla, then back to the hands and finally to her now empty hand. For someone whose eyes you can’t see, that was very expressive.

  40. wakeangel2001
    wakeangel2001
    July 3, 2019 at 12:33 pm | #

    this can work, I bet Carla could much more convincingly play at the “I’m interested in sexy times with this girl” ploy than anyone.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      July 3, 2019 at 12:53 pm | #

      too bad she’s more interested in Sal than in Marcie

    • Cmd1095
      Cmd1095
      July 3, 2019 at 1:13 pm | #

      Well bear in mind a core part of the plan is Malaya’s hatred of Sal being what drives her to do the sexy times with Marcie, Carla wouldn’t have the same affect

    • HeatherJean
      HeatherJean
      July 3, 2019 at 2:03 pm | #

      Carla also has a history of trying to manage courtships of cute queer ladies….
      I suppose Malaya could be considered “cute” for a certain value of cute.

      If Carla starts fawning over Sal again and Malaya picks up on THAT rather than the handholding, things could get complicated for all involved. And even those not involved.

  41. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    July 3, 2019 at 5:48 pm | #

    Malaya is going to pop a valve when Asher shows up all romantic hero, and is all about his history with Sal.

  42. Falcon
    Falcon
    July 3, 2019 at 6:24 pm | #

    Alright Sal. Maybe you’re ultimately straight. But if there’s ever a time to experiment, it’s in college.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      July 3, 2019 at 11:58 pm | #

      We all know that the heart wants what the heart wants. What I’ve see of life suggests to me that it is also true that the genitals want what the genitals want; and, like the heart, the genitals also know what they don’t want, no matter the rational arguments for why they should want that thing that they don’t want.

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