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do i wanna give the eye doctor a name
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April 24, 2021

Blinked

by David M Willis on January 5, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Look Straight Ahead

└ Tags: joyce

Discussion (194) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    January 5, 2021 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    I do want to say it gets easier, but then I’ve had like *cough* decades of this to be able to adjust

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      January 5, 2021 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      ^This^. People are able to adapt and normalize to almost anything, which can be amazing, but can also be horrific. Useful for life changes with needles, like diabetes, or eye puffs. Stick it out Joyce, ♡, you’ll get there.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      January 5, 2021 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

      After dealing with this basically all my life it’s kind of hard to remember if this was that difficult the first time or if Joyce is just being a bit of a wimp right now.

      • Mydnyt
        Mydnyt
        January 5, 2021 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

        Both. Both is fine

      • Kella
        Kella
        January 5, 2021 at 12:46 am | # | Reply

        I’ve been dealing with them since around age 11 and I never stopped reacting like this. The joys of having a super sensitive startle reflex.

        • Rayndel
          Rayndel
          January 5, 2021 at 1:15 am | # | Reply

          Yuuuuup. When I was getting my eyes dilated about a decade ago, I kept blinking when the doctor was trying to put the drops in. He laughed at me and said “So no contacts for you, huh?”

          We had a nice conversation about reflexes and how it’s kind of scary that people can just adapt to things like that and it’s really not good for their eye health if something’s headed for their eyes and they don’t blink!

          (My current doctor has an optomap and it’s amazing. No more eye dilation!)

          • Some Ed
            Some Ed
            January 5, 2021 at 9:58 am | # | Reply

            I’m 48. My blink reflex is still too strong for contacts. That’s fine, contacts still seem like something from somebody way too deep in the madness place and not something I want to have personal experience with.

            Blinking for eye drops is still an issue, and one of my autism traits is heightened light sensitivity, so I am so incredibly glad dilation drops is a nightmare of the past now. But it’s still frustrating every time I need Alaway drops.

            • Eclipsa
              Eclipsa
              January 5, 2021 at 4:58 pm | # | Reply

              I used to be scared of contacts, even before my vision was “bad” enough that I got regular glasses (it’s not terrible but it’s uncomfortable). Now, I’m not scared of them but I think I’ll stick with glasses because I look better with them than without lol. I have an annoyingly roundish face and glasses balance that for me.

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              January 5, 2021 at 5:11 pm | # | Reply

              There’s a tip for getting eye drops into kids’ eyes that might help you out! 🙂

              What you do is, see, you tilt their head back (or in this case, your own), have them close (not scrunch up, just close) their eyes, and drop the drop right in the inner corner of their eye, right about where their tear ducts would be (you can do this to yourself, too, if you line it up carefully before you close your eyes).

              Then they just need to blink, and the liquid wicks right into the eye. Done; no muss, no fuss; and no twitching away!! 😀

        • JaneDoe
          JaneDoe
          January 5, 2021 at 8:32 am | # | Reply

          Yeah 35 year old here, had glasses since I was, 9 I think? And the last time I had this test done a couple years ago they had to try it at least a dozen times between the two eyes. And this is why I will never get lasix.

          • DanSantos
            DanSantos
            January 5, 2021 at 10:26 am | # | Reply

            Not sure if it makes it more or less scary, but …

            When you’re in for lasik, your eye lids are held open.

            The laser also has tracking capabilities, so as long as you keep your eyes generally still, the laser which reacts at a speed of millionths of a second, isn’t bothered by the comparatively glacial twitches of your eye.

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              January 5, 2021 at 5:12 pm | # | Reply

              Pretty sure they’d be okay with you taking a xanax or atavan or what beforehand, too 🙂

    • Reaver
      Reaver
      January 5, 2021 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      That’s a bloody lie, I’ve been getting them since I was an infant and I still can’t stand them…

      • Brenn
        Brenn
        January 5, 2021 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

        My father has congenital glaucoma. He spent his childhood getting the original version of that test, which was to set a gauge on your ACTUAL EYEBALL while you lay awake on a table. They’d have him come in and demonstrate it for the other kids and still have to do his actual test later. I wasn’t allowed to complain about the eye puffs.

        • elebenty
          elebenty
          January 5, 2021 at 2:49 am | # | Reply

          I actually prefer that one to the puff test and I am firmly in the Never Getting Contacts camp. It’s easier to disassociate the blob coming toward me (and I can’t feel it) than it is to override the response Joyce is having.

        • -hh
          -hh
          January 5, 2021 at 7:03 am | # | Reply

          I had to look up what this “puff test” is, because I’ve had the plunger version for (ahem) many years. I prefer getting that test done vs being dilated, as it’s just momentary (vs “too bright” headaches for 20 minutes)

          My wife came down with glaucoma, so she gets tested 4x/yr.

          • Ana Chronistic
            Ana Chronistic
            January 5, 2021 at 9:49 am | # | Reply

            Yikes

            I think I will just die of anxiety if I ever start to go truly blind… or by then I’ll just not care about getting out of bed literally ever bc I can’t see anything anyway so why even get up (hopefully I’ll be ACTUALLY ancient by then rather than just feeling it)

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        January 5, 2021 at 9:47 am | # | Reply

        I said I *want* to say it gets easier

        Never said it does, not for everybody

    • Blindness
      Blindness
      January 5, 2021 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

      this is easier than the old ways…if you’ve had it for decades then you’ve had the older versions of the same test

    • Astaphe
      Astaphe
      January 5, 2021 at 1:41 am | # | Reply

      I have been doing this forever but… nope. I literally cannot do this part. The optometrist always gets mad but even looking at it now is making my eyes water and honestly I may have to skip a couple strips and come back when the eye examination is over because I am suddenly deeply uncomfortable

    • ischemgeek
      ischemgeek
      January 5, 2021 at 7:30 am | # | Reply

      Yeah they usually need at least 3 tries for me.

      I have been getting the eye puff test for over 15 years.

    • Borg
      Borg
      January 5, 2021 at 11:41 am | # | Reply

      Wait, you’re claiming that it is ever possible to suppress closing your eyes and jerking away from the machine?

      It’s a good thing the machine is fast enough that it doesn’t care if you do that, because I know perfectly well the above isn’t possible.

    • Chris
      Chris
      January 5, 2021 at 11:57 am | # | Reply

      I got my first glasses in fourth grade. In 10th my first contacts. I spent an agonizing three hours in the optometrist’s office, because the sadist wouldn’t allow me to leave without putting them in and taking them out two times each. 6 month’s later, I would annoy my mother by intentionally poking at my own eyeball, which by then I was totally de-sensitized to.

  2. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    January 5, 2021 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Okay it’s not that bad Joyce. You’re holding the doctor up now.

    • Eclipsa
      Eclipsa
      January 5, 2021 at 4:50 am | # | Reply

      I *like* having glasses, I don’t get nervous for eye exams in general, and I can assure you that yes, it really is that bad.

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 5, 2021 at 12:17 pm | # | Reply

      Do you think she’s doing it on purpose? And I guarantee this doctor has dealt with similarly and more sensitive patients, it’s par for the course with sensitive areas like the eyes. She’s fine, she’s used to this

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        January 5, 2021 at 9:19 pm | # | Reply

        Yep. Doctors get used to the common reactions like this. I can manage the air puff for the most part, but there’s a couple reactions I have that’ve never improved much (gag reflex being the worst) and the Unfortunately Difficult Veins/Blood Pressure that’s not a reflex but is likewise a ‘what can you do.’ I apologize in advance if I know it’s an issue, but they have always seen other people with that same phenomenon and will probably say ‘yeah, I get that, no problem.’

  3. Proto_Eevee
    Proto_Eevee
    January 5, 2021 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    This happened to me but I said real profanities.

  4. Suet
    Suet
    January 5, 2021 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    If you name her, Willis, you unleash a new world. That world I do not know.

    Darn you, reflexes!

    • ktbear
      ktbear
      January 5, 2021 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

      But then shes been in every strip this year so, maybe?

  5. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 5, 2021 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    I’m not sure what else anybody expected from Joyce.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

      So close, yet so far. Ah well, at least it’s a decent gravitar.

  6. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 5, 2021 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    re: alt text, I still think this is Grace’s mom. Does Grace have a last name?

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 5, 2021 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

      Her last name is Svenson in Walkyverse, but I don’t believe it’s said in Dumbiverse.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        January 5, 2021 at 12:38 am | # | Reply

        With three significant exceptions (Walkyverse!Dina Sarazu vs. Dumbiverse!Dina Saruyama, Walkyverse!Ruth Lesse vs. Dumbiverse!Ruth Lessick, and Walkyverse!Sal Walters vs. Dumbiverse!Sal Walkerton – the change in the first case being that “Sarazu” isn’t a Japanese name IIRC, the second case being to make the surname pun a little less obvious, and the third case being a different origin story than in the Walkyverse) that I can recall off the top of my head, all appearing Walkyverse characters that I can recall share surnames with their Dumbiverse counterparts.

        • Nono
          Nono
          January 5, 2021 at 12:59 am | # | Reply

          I imagine Beef would also have changed surnames, but he’s not even a C-lister in this universe.

          • RacingTurtle
            RacingTurtle
            January 5, 2021 at 3:29 am | # | Reply

            Beef must be…Steve Walters now? Huh. Interesting.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              January 5, 2021 at 9:34 am | # | Reply

              Unless his name actually is ‘Beef’ this time around.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      January 5, 2021 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

      I had to look it up to remember who Grace was but now that you’ve pointed it out I can totally see random doctor woman probably only invented for this one off scene as a relative of Grace’s.

  7. cmasta1992
    cmasta1992
    January 5, 2021 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    re alt text I think she looks like a Tessa or Janice

    • cmasta1992
      cmasta1992
      January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

      (but if you just want to go for the pun Iris is solid)

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        January 5, 2021 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

        I think I’d favour Pupillia, just for something different. Or Dr. Lenz

        • cmasta1992
          cmasta1992
          January 5, 2021 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

          Lindsey Lenz is definitely a Marvel superheroine name

          [The Boosters are multiplying]

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            January 5, 2021 at 12:19 am | # | Reply

            I like it. Just going to give your comment a boost here.

          • woobie
            woobie
            January 5, 2021 at 1:40 am | # | Reply

            LL is every Superman girlfriend.

            • Hopeluminous
              Hopeluminous
              January 5, 2021 at 5:48 pm | # | Reply

              But none of them were blonde.

        • Blindness
          Blindness
          January 5, 2021 at 1:24 am | # | Reply

          Dr. Iris Lenz, if you’re going fo a pun then a double pun is better than a single pun!

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        January 5, 2021 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

        Also, on puns, I used to have a dentist named Dr. Hertz.

        • Merbrat
          Merbrat
          January 5, 2021 at 12:43 am | # | Reply

          My two dentists were Dr Payne and Dr Molar

      • UniqueSnowflake2
        UniqueSnowflake2
        January 5, 2021 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

        Dr. Seymour.

        • Steamweed
          Steamweed
          January 5, 2021 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

          Least that wasn’t the ob/gyn’s name! :O

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 5, 2021 at 9:35 am | # | Reply

          Dr. Janice Seymour, OD

        • hof1991
          hof1991
          January 5, 2021 at 9:39 am | # | Reply

          Son, be a dentist. Don’t be Seymour. https://youtu.be/bOtMizMQ6oM

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        January 5, 2021 at 2:38 am | # | Reply

        I’m all in favor of her name being an eye-based pun.

      • UnfrozenNeanderthal
        UnfrozenNeanderthal
        January 5, 2021 at 5:58 am | # | Reply

        Goddamnit, I missed Eileen, I missed Opal, I missed Iris

        In terms of coming up with puns I’m… Blind as a bat? That’ll have to be good enough

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 5, 2021 at 9:38 am | # | Reply

          Fine.

          Dr. Eileen Seymour, OD.

          • Chris
            Chris
            January 5, 2021 at 12:03 pm | # | Reply

            Dr. Cecilia (CeCe for short) Seymour.

            • DSL
              DSL
              January 5, 2021 at 1:30 pm | # | Reply

              Pun names or a series of cornea jokes? Or, to misquote HawkEYE impersonating Father Mulcahy: “This ocularity is most un-see-mly.”

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                January 5, 2021 at 1:41 pm | # | Reply

                Movie Tonight was a fun episode.

  8. Vangeln
    Vangeln
    January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Worst than needles.

  9. Diner Kinetic
    Diner Kinetic
    January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Re: Alt Text- If Willis doesn’t name her, I’m just going to call her Dr. Mona Cullen or Dr. Irene Glass and nobody can stop me

    Maybe if they do name her I still will. 2021 shall be a year of self-determination.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      January 5, 2021 at 4:18 am | # | Reply

      She is the New Number Two.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 5, 2021 at 9:25 am | # | Reply

        Who is Number One?

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 5, 2021 at 9:38 am | # | Reply

          Jonathan Frakes.

    • UnfrozenNeanderthal
      UnfrozenNeanderthal
      January 5, 2021 at 5:59 am | # | Reply

      Gaaah, you’re all so much better at this than me and I hate it

  10. Nono
    Nono
    January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Iris would be too on the nose as a name, huh?

    Maybe Eileen.

    • cmasta1992
      cmasta1992
      January 5, 2021 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

      Eileen is a strong contender.

      • UniqueSnowflake2
        UniqueSnowflake2
        January 5, 2021 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

        Only if one of her legs is shorter than the other.

        • Steamweed
          Steamweed
          January 5, 2021 at 12:49 am | # | Reply

          Eye see what you did there.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 5, 2021 at 9:39 am | # | Reply

          And both of her feet’s too long?

          She’s a dancin’ fool?

      • Bogeywoman
        Bogeywoman
        January 5, 2021 at 12:49 am | # | Reply

        Please no. I just got that song out of y head after 3 years of torture!

        • Bogeywoman
          Bogeywoman
          January 5, 2021 at 12:52 am | # | Reply

          I’m keen on Theia, after the titaness of sight… Isla?

        • Sunny
          Sunny
          January 5, 2021 at 7:06 am | # | Reply

          What song?

          • Nono
            Nono
            January 5, 2021 at 7:27 am | # | Reply

            Come on Eileen, Oh I swear (what he means)

        • UnfrozenNeanderthal
          UnfrozenNeanderthal
          January 5, 2021 at 4:22 pm | # | Reply

          And you’ll hum this tune forever

  11. TheKelliestKelly
    TheKelliestKelly
    January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    As Joyce is tormented, let us all remember that it’s important to see an eye doctor annually even if your vision is good

    • UniqueSnowflake2
      UniqueSnowflake2
      January 5, 2021 at 4:53 pm | # | Reply

      And if you can’t see the eye doctor, you may need to go more frequently.

  12. LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    January 5, 2021 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Somehow, this is adorable.

    Yes, give the doctor a name! Like the female version of Argus: Arbies

  13. Mr D
    Mr D
    January 5, 2021 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    I was trying to think of potential doctor names that could have had eye puns but couldn’t think of any.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 5, 2021 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      Cecelia?? 😛

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        January 5, 2021 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

        You’re breaking my heart

        • Amber
          Amber
          January 5, 2021 at 12:18 am | # | Reply

          Ahhhh, you beat me to it!

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            January 5, 2021 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

            That’s not how it goes! 😅

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 5, 2021 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

          Is that a reference to something or your reaction to my terrible name joke?

          • Yumi
            Yumi
            January 5, 2021 at 12:28 am | # | Reply

            https://m.imgur.com/XbKWCdL

            (It’s a song)

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 5, 2021 at 2:38 am | # | Reply

              Ah, okay. Fair play.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          January 5, 2021 at 9:12 am | # | Reply

          You’re shaking my confidence daily

          (Throwing Demoted a bone)

          • Hopeluminous
            Hopeluminous
            January 5, 2021 at 5:57 pm | # | Reply

            Is it a femur?

  14. IcyPheonix
    IcyPheonix
    January 5, 2021 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    ah my mom has problems with this test too, her reflexes are to fast so she blinks right before the air puff goes off.

  15. Yumi
    Yumi
    January 5, 2021 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

    I first got glasses when I was around 7 years old, and as part of the eye exam process, they had to put drops in my eyes. I did not want them to put drops in my eyes, and I kept flailing when they went to do it, and it took, like, three adults to hold me down (two of them were my parents), and even then I jerked my head back and a couple of the drops landed in my mouth. I believe I didn’t even object that strongly on the surface level, but the depths of my seven year old psyche were like, “You want to PUT SOMETHING IN MY EYES?”

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      January 5, 2021 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

      This happened to me, the most recent time. My body’s reflexes fought so hard that I ended up with a bruise above my eye that lasted for a few weeks.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 5, 2021 at 9:42 am | # | Reply

      If the air puff isn’t an option, I refuse the drops and probe test just for this reason. Eyes and teeth are potent sources of ody horror…

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 5, 2021 at 12:23 pm | # | Reply

      I was like that (for me it was bc eyedrops burned), but I’ve had horrible eye allergies my whole life, which usually resulted in prescription eye drops that I’d have to do myself. After that I never developed that instinct of hating things near my eyes. At least contacts are easy for me lol

    • Rectilinear Propagation
      Rectilinear Propagation
      January 5, 2021 at 11:35 pm | # | Reply

      Most places are only letting one parent in for doctor’s appointments but the eye doctor let both of us come so we could both hold our 3 year old for the eye drops. (She vomited the last two times they dilated her, so that might have been a factor.)

      No one warns you about how much of parenthood is holding your child down so a stranger can do something painful but necessary to them.

  16. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    January 5, 2021 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Starin’ at each other with accusin’ eyes
    Keep your voices low
    And don’t act surprised…

  17. EAG46
    EAG46
    January 5, 2021 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

    I just want to know, if everyone else in Joyce’s family needs contacts or eyeglasses, why did she assume she didn’t need them? And why didn’t her doctor ever give her any sort of eye exam when she was younger? *eye roll* And a blast of air is nothing compared to the Dilating Eye Drops of Doom, missy.

    • EAG46
      EAG46
      January 5, 2021 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

      Oh cool I got the iguana avatar!

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        January 5, 2021 at 9:13 am | # | Reply

        SAY HIS NAME

        • He Who Abides
          He Who Abides
          January 5, 2021 at 7:28 pm | # | Reply

          I love that one.

    • Chris
      Chris
      January 5, 2021 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

      For years, I was the only one in my family who didn’t need glasses… right up until I wasn’t.

    • Sam
      Sam
      January 5, 2021 at 6:34 am | # | Reply

      Just because everyone else has eye issues doesn’t mean you will. My sister at 35 has no known eye issues at this time and everyone else in our family, including me, has something off with their eyesight (though I don’t need glasses for mine).

      Eye issues can also creep up slowly – Joyce may have had perfect vision as a child that has degraded very very slowly so that she can’t see far away things. It is just now reaching a point where it is obvious to everyone around her. Remember as well that she used to be homeschooled, so she didn’t HAVE to be able to see further than past her kitchen table. The ‘catching eyesight degrading’ questions don’t work if the person’s blackboard is next to their face. And they may be the type of family that does it once as a child then only if someone complains rather than every year/every two years.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 5, 2021 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

        Head canon now is that each and every member of Joyce’s family got dragged to the eye doctor by a friend halfway through their freshman year of college.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 5, 2021 at 9:45 am | # | Reply

          There’s a bonus strip of Hank and Carol meeting in college, and neither of them are wearing glasses. Whether they were wearing contacts or if they didn’t need corrective lenses at all yet is not explored.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            January 5, 2021 at 11:28 am | # | Reply

            Just more evidence for my head canon.

  18. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    January 5, 2021 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

    “Please shoot my eye out.”

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 5, 2021 at 9:45 am | # | Reply

      “I’m trying, but you keep blinking.”

  19. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    January 5, 2021 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

    Is Opal too on the nose for an optometrist?

    • UnfrozenNeanderthal
      UnfrozenNeanderthal
      January 5, 2021 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

      Someone suggested Eileen a couple days ago.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      January 5, 2021 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

      No, no. A pince-nez would be though.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        January 5, 2021 at 12:40 am | # | Reply

        Did you come up with that pun in a pinch?

  20. Black bumblebee
    Black bumblebee
    January 5, 2021 at 12:18 am | # | Reply

    That’s Dr. Puffenstuff

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      January 5, 2021 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

      😆 Willis! We need a new poll. What’s the best worst name for the optometrist?

      Plleeeeeeeeeeeeese?

  21. TheFlamingonator
    TheFlamingonator
    January 5, 2021 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    Glad I dont have to do this as often as an adult, I think the last time I got new glasses they just did the “Number 1 or Number 2 etc” test.

    I hate hate hate stuff in my eyes, and would rather wear glasses anyway because I am so used to them as just a permanent accessory. I honestly dont understand how some people just put contacts in their eyes EVERY. DAMN. DAY.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 5, 2021 at 9:47 am | # | Reply

      This tests the internal pressure of your eyes as a glaucoma screen. She hasn’t even gotten to the “A or B? A or B?” part yet.

  22. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    January 5, 2021 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    …. normally I don’t suggest behavioral modification through hypnotism, but Joyce might benefit from having the edge taken off of her seventeen-million-and-sixty-eight anxieties.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 5, 2021 at 9:31 am | # | Reply

      That miight work, but she’s afraid of hypnotists.

  23. Lordhaw
    Lordhaw
    January 5, 2021 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

    This happens to my wife all the time when she does this test. I must admit it always startles me when the air jet hits my eye even though I know it’s coming.

  24. crow
    crow
    January 5, 2021 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

    I have a feeling this lady’s just being mean. Joyce doesn’t need this! Just have her read the chart and get her some glasses!

    • Agemegos
      Agemegos
      January 5, 2021 at 12:30 am | # | Reply

      Back in 1991 I just needed some glasses. My optometrist measured my intraocular pressures as an unnecessary routine. She went and got her senior partner, and he checked my intraocular pressures and said “Well, yes. But it’s 48, not 38.” I have been putting drops in my eyes ever since.

      As a result of all that, I can still see. Except for a little bit in the nasal field of my right eye.

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        January 5, 2021 at 1:37 am | # | Reply

        That is actually pretty awesome. Even annecdotal evidence shows us *why* we do tests like this. It’s a minor annoyance for all the people who come up negative, but for those few who test positive for something, it can make a world of difference!

        I am happy for you that they were able to get you a helpful treatment!

    • frogger44
      frogger44
      January 5, 2021 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

      It’s a Glaucoma test. It’s a bummer but it’s manageable. Just a hurdle to get over to get corrective lenses.

    • Blindness
      Blindness
      January 5, 2021 at 1:28 am | # | Reply

      it’s a common test, her family might actually have issues that the doctor was able to discover through medical history check if they bother to do stuff like that, and since she’s likely getting the full works as a new patient it’s going to be one of the tests that they take to rule out future tests in case there isn’t a potential for it…

      A doctor isn’t going to bother risking a lawsuit to torment someone, they need to get tests over with as soon as possible. Joyce is just being a pain in the ass.

      • Eclipsa
        Eclipsa
        January 5, 2021 at 4:55 am | # | Reply

        I think we can give Joyce a little grace here. She didn’t want this to begin with (honestly I don’t like how Dorothy pushed her into this without full consent, but that’s another issue), she’s already nervous, and that air puff test startles me pretty bad too. She probably didn’t know going into this that they would even do such a test.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          January 5, 2021 at 9:32 am | # | Reply

          Yeah, she thought there were going to be eye needles.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          January 5, 2021 at 9:51 am | # | Reply

          She probably also didn’t think to try refusing it because she’s in full “just play along to get it over with” mode.

  25. BarerMender
    BarerMender
    January 5, 2021 at 12:27 am | # | Reply

    I nominate the eye doctor as Priscilla. Prissy, for short.

  26. Dwayne
    Dwayne
    January 5, 2021 at 12:27 am | # | Reply

    Dr. Cynthia Clops. Joyce’s arch nemesis!

  27. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    January 5, 2021 at 12:33 am | # | Reply

    Well, it IS better than reusing names.  We’ve already got Rachel and Other Rachel, and as the guy said in the second ‘Kingsman’ movie, “Yeah, this two Galahad thing is just effin’ confusing.”

    I AM surprised we haven’t been given a Tiffany or Britney or Ashley or Courtney yet though, as I am sure Willis is aware of how prevalent those names were during the 1980s – 90s.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      January 5, 2021 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

      This was supposed to be an answer to JessWitt and her question about the name of Opal.

    • drs
      drs
      January 5, 2021 at 12:38 am | # | Reply

      It’s not realistic 2000s IU unless there are six Emily’s.

      • Eclipsa
        Eclipsa
        January 5, 2021 at 4:55 pm | # | Reply

        Funny thing, as overwhelmingly common as Jennifer is for a name among my generation, fictional characters named Jennifer are glaringly rare. And the ones that are named Jennifer usually go by a nickname. Billie, in this case, and in Walking Dead World Beyond there’s a character named Jennifer who goes by Huck.

        I may or may not also be a Jennifer and I may or may not be happy that Billie is finally using it. XD

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 5, 2021 at 9:59 am | # | Reply

      Remember a lot of the older characters were written as 20-somethings in the late 90s through mid-2000s by someone raised in a religious (and probably conservative leaning) environment. Some are whole-cloth fictional, others are based off his real-life friends as a child of the 1980s. Either way, the characters’ names are bound to skew toward traditional ones that were popular in the 70s and early 80s.

      David, Sally, Ruth, Joyce, Rebecca, Dorothy, Rachel, Mary, Michael, Jacob, Joseph, Daniel…

  28. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    January 5, 2021 at 12:40 am | # | Reply

    Is it not possible to hold your eyelids open? As in, is there literally no space for your fingers to do that?

    • Diane
      Diane
      January 5, 2021 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

      Nope, no fingers near the eyes for this test.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 5, 2021 at 10:01 am | # | Reply

        We should be thankful they don’t use those eyelid clamps from A Clockwork Orange.

    • Eclipsa
      Eclipsa
      January 5, 2021 at 4:53 pm | # | Reply

      It measures the pressure in your eye (whatever that means) and I would guess holding your eyes open might fiddle with the accuracy. But that’s my not-at-all-expert guess as to the reasoning.

  29. Kella
    Kella
    January 5, 2021 at 12:42 am | # | Reply

    Oh hey it’s me. Every. Freaking. Time.

    • Kella
      Kella
      January 5, 2021 at 12:44 am | # | Reply

      On a completely unrelated note, did you know that an exaggerated startle response is a symptom of PTSD? 🙃

  30. Jupiterror
    Jupiterror
    January 5, 2021 at 12:46 am | # | Reply

    Rei Tina for a punny name suggestion

  31. drs
    drs
    January 5, 2021 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

    I came to suggest ‘Eileen’, but I must say that ‘Iris the eye doctor’ would truly capture the subtlety of “Les Bean the lesbian”.

  32. Switchchris
    Switchchris
    January 5, 2021 at 12:56 am | # | Reply

    I got glasses when I was 9, and have been through many eye doctor appointments, atleast 2 times a year, and those little puffs of air they shoot into your eye are the worst part of the appointment for me lol.

  33. TheStranger
    TheStranger
    January 5, 2021 at 12:58 am | # | Reply

    I had an eye exam today. The air puffs aren’t so bad, I’m used to those.

    The retinal imaging flash, though, had me in mind of Oppenheimer.

    “I am become death, destroyer of eyeballs.”

    • Eclipsa
      Eclipsa
      January 5, 2021 at 4:57 am | # | Reply

      I had one the other day, and after that flash I wondered how the heck the doctor could test my vision with me being half blind. XD

  34. ShellShock
    ShellShock
    January 5, 2021 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

    Dr. Iris, you’re welcome

  35. Moon
    Moon
    January 5, 2021 at 1:04 am | # | Reply

    she looks like a Shelby idk why

    • Moon
      Moon
      January 5, 2021 at 1:43 am | # | Reply

      she looks like kath soucie

  36. Xccj
    Xccj
    January 5, 2021 at 1:09 am | # | Reply

    Man, this is me every time with those air puffs. “Blinked again.”

  37. Chaucer59
    Chaucer59
    January 5, 2021 at 1:29 am | # | Reply

    The air puffs are mildly annoying. When I was in the Navy, they would do this test with me lying supine, and a corpsman would bounce a micrometer off my eyeball. THAT test was loathsome. By comparison, the puff is just mildly annoying. Stare at the dot and try to recall a Hamlet soliloquy or the Gettysburg Address. With your brain thus otherwise occupied, you can’t anticipate the puff, and the test flies by.

  38. brionl
    brionl
    January 5, 2021 at 1:42 am | # | Reply

    Dr. Mengeleye

  39. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    January 5, 2021 at 1:45 am | # | Reply

    I could swear the eye doctor reminds me of some Faans! character. I can just about picture her without spending several days doing an archive binge

    • Ray Radlein
      Ray Radlein
      January 5, 2021 at 2:26 am | # | Reply

      Alternately, she looks like Luann

  40. Aneras713
    Aneras713
    January 5, 2021 at 2:21 am | # | Reply

    Me.

  41. Ava-Ann
    Ava-Ann
    January 5, 2021 at 2:21 am | # | Reply

    I can’t do eye drops like at all but never had issues with this thing. Huh, when the doctor enthusiastically says “Perfect!“ I thought it was just in their nature (seriously, never met a grumpy optometrist) not that it never takes more than one puff to get me in and out. #themoreyouknowl

  42. BenRG
    BenRG
    January 5, 2021 at 2:26 am | # | Reply

    Poor Joyce! She’s really too tense and nervous, isn’t she? The worst thing to fear is fear itself and Joyce is proving that here! She doesn’t really have any need to be afraid of that machine but she is and every problem it causes is only reinforcing that irrational fear.

  43. Keulen
    Keulen
    January 5, 2021 at 2:59 am | # | Reply

    I’m wondering when eye doctors started doing the air puff test, because I’ve worn glasses for close to 30 years now and they haven’t had me do that test so far. I remember there were a few times when I went to the eye doctor and they put some drops in my eyes that numbed them, and then they actually touched my eyes with some little device. But I haven’t gone to the eye doctor in a few years now since vision isn’t covered in my health insurance.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      January 5, 2021 at 4:02 am | # | Reply

      Offhand, the first time I remember having one is about five years ago.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      January 5, 2021 at 9:36 am | # | Reply

      It’s been mumble years since I’ve been to an eye doctor and I don’t remember either this or the drops and the eye touching, but from the comments it seems very variable. The puff is a replacement for the touching, but it seems to have phased in over decades.

  44. Sunny Day
    Sunny Day
    January 5, 2021 at 3:17 am | # | Reply

    Huh, I’ve never had a problem with the puff test. I always blink and my eyes water up but they’ve never had me do it over again.

    I always thought the measurements the puff test is making occur faster than the blink reflex.

    Reading the comments it seems I was wrong.

    • Eclipsa
      Eclipsa
      January 5, 2021 at 4:47 am | # | Reply

      At my exam the other day I was joking with the tech (?) who did the puff test that it’s like waiting for the toaster to pop. Or opening a can of biscuits. The anticipation is what gets you, and then the sudden puff of air startles you really bad.

  45. Tarpo
    Tarpo
    January 5, 2021 at 4:17 am | # | Reply

    Poor Doctor Fudge. Someone taking her name in vain like that over and over

  46. Eclipsa
    Eclipsa
    January 5, 2021 at 4:45 am | # | Reply

    Wonder if my comment will show up this time.

    I hate the puff. I hate the pokey thing. I’ve had both done and yesterday’s comments taught me that they sometimes give you numbing drops for the pokey thing?!

    I had an eye exam the other day, they did the air and then they said the numbers were slightly off normal so then they had to do the pokey thing. My eyes were watering after that. You can’t exactly feel the poke but your eye still reacts and gets mad. BLAH.

  47. acher4
    acher4
    January 5, 2021 at 5:07 am | # | Reply

    Yes, we need that name. 😛

    Dr. Eye?

  48. Poskie
    Poskie
    January 5, 2021 at 6:06 am | # | Reply

    I’ve not yet seen anyone suggest Ida as a name for the optometrist. While I’m aware we only use real last names nowadays, the idea of her name being ‘Ida Kter’ tickles me so…

  49. Morleuca
    Morleuca
    January 5, 2021 at 6:18 am | # | Reply

    Dr. Eisen?

  50. Katherine
    Katherine
    January 5, 2021 at 6:25 am | # | Reply

    Been going to the optometrist semi-regularly since 1990 and I’ve never heard of shooting air at your eyeball.

    • Oobrey
      Oobrey
      January 5, 2021 at 2:07 pm | # | Reply

      That’s so interesting – I’ve been going to eye doctors since the 90s as well (I’ve seen multiple different eye doctors at this point, in different cities) and they always puff the air in your eye. I think some places tap you in the eye with a small implement nowadays, but I haven’t been to one of those optometrists yet.

      • Katherine
        Katherine
        January 6, 2021 at 6:09 am | # | Reply

        Never had my eyes tapped either – that would be a MASSIVE NO from me, tho air would possibly be fine :S

  51. Dirk van de Rijt
    Dirk van de Rijt
    January 5, 2021 at 6:52 am | # | Reply

    Where is this kind of eye testing common? I’m from the Netherlands and I don’t remember ever getting air shot into my eye during eye tests over the years. I had to put my chin on the device that looks like the one in the comic, and just stare into a little hole with some light in it, and that was it.

  52. DT
    DT
    January 5, 2021 at 8:01 am | # | Reply

    Oh gods I relate to this so hard, my eyes are unbelievably sensitive.

  53. HeySo
    HeySo
    January 5, 2021 at 8:18 am | # | Reply

    Her name is Herbert. Yes, she has a complicated relationship with her parents.

  54. Yossarian Duck
    Yossarian Duck
    January 5, 2021 at 8:39 am | # | Reply

    Her name is doctor Verruca, and she’s a disappointment to her family because they hoped she’d go into Podiatry.

  55. thumb
    thumb
    January 5, 2021 at 8:56 am | # | Reply

    Dr Letzie

  56. Hydrohead
    Hydrohead
    January 5, 2021 at 8:59 am | # | Reply

    I think the doctor looks like a Vanessa.

  57. TAD
    TAD
    January 5, 2021 at 9:00 am | # | Reply

    So, like Katherine… What is this air puff test??? Never had it. I’ve been seen for years by a very good but I guess also very traditional optometrist. She uses a contact tonometer (I guess that’s what it’s called), and while it’s not fun it’s really not that big of a deal. Air puff was invented for squeamish Americans? I live in Canada, and haven’t had to access health care in the US for several decades. Googling the APT suggests that you all who don’t like it are in good company.

  58. hash
    hash
    January 5, 2021 at 9:12 am | # | Reply

    Dr. Iris

  59. JMP
    JMP
    January 5, 2021 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

    I’ve never had a full eye exam. What’s the purpose of this part? I’ve only ever seen the chart.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      January 5, 2021 at 10:02 am | # | Reply

      https://www.verywellhealth.com/air-puff-test-3421804

      Glaucoma. Which you definitely want to diagnose and treat.

  60. Iceburgh69
    Iceburgh69
    January 5, 2021 at 10:14 am | # | Reply

    I feel called out.

  61. FacelessDeviant
    FacelessDeviant
    January 5, 2021 at 10:34 am | # | Reply

    I’ve had to deal with something like this for quite a while. I have a chronic eye thingy where they have to measure the pressure in the eye by basically poking it with a small blunt rod.

    The doctors give me shit for blinking but its like “You are literally poking me in the eye with a thing. How can I -not- blink?”

  62. Tunasammich
    Tunasammich
    January 5, 2021 at 10:42 am | # | Reply

    I can never do the eye puff. I just tell them I’m a lost cause before we even try

  63. Joey245
    Joey245
    January 5, 2021 at 12:36 pm | # | Reply

    Oof, I sympathize Joyce.

    As for naming the eye doctor, clearly her name should be Dr. Iris Lensman.

  64. TheScreenJockey
    TheScreenJockey
    January 5, 2021 at 1:05 pm | # | Reply

    This is the next forty strips now.

  65. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    January 5, 2021 at 1:23 pm | # | Reply

    Dr I. Doctor or Dr Oprah Mologist.

  66. GLaDOS
    GLaDOS
    January 5, 2021 at 3:09 pm | # | Reply

    This happens to me every time, because I’ve learned, Pavlov-style, some audible cue from the machine that it’s on the point of firing. Behold, a perfectly synced blink.

  67. Tobias
    Tobias
    January 5, 2021 at 3:11 pm | # | Reply

    It’s going to be hilarious when this of all things is what causes Joyce to break the F-word barrier.

  68. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    January 5, 2021 at 3:16 pm | # | Reply

    I’ve been thinking I should at least get my sight tested, lately, and now I’m nervous about this puff test potentially being part of that process. I flinch/blink easy and doctors around here are ridiculous with how much they’ll make fun of you for basically anything.

    • Sam
      Sam
      January 5, 2021 at 3:31 pm | # | Reply

      You can refuse it. It is testing for glaucoma so if you have a family history, it might be recommended, but they can’t make you take it and if you don’t have a family history for it, it might not be included at all. I know my optician doesn’t include it for me.

    • Lexi
      Lexi
      January 5, 2021 at 9:00 pm | # | Reply

      It’s not that bad, Joyce is way over-thinking it and it’s making it harder on her. If you go in expecting it’ll be super painful, then yeah, you’ll flinch, but if you just expect it’ll be a weird sensation, it’s no big deal.

      I also find eye doctors tend to be pretty generous, since anything near people’s eyes can make them nervous and flinchy.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        January 5, 2021 at 10:18 pm | # | Reply

        People’s reflexes and reactions are different. For some it’s easy to deal with. For others it’s nearly impossible. And it’s not really under conscious control.

        • Lexi
          Lexi
          January 6, 2021 at 4:49 am | # | Reply

          Yes, definitely tell the person who doesn’t want to get tested for glaucoma that the test is “nearly impossible”. I’m certain that won’t lead to them reacting exactly like Joyce here, and anticipating something SO HORRIBLE that it’s a miserable experience.

          I understand that people react differently. But if you go into it already telling yourself that it’ll be impossible, then it’s 100% going to be impossible, when it is, at best, mildly discomforting for a split second.

          • Sam
            Sam
            January 6, 2021 at 6:27 am | # | Reply

            Saying it will be easy when it varies won’t help anyone if they have a harder time than you have suggested. You’re trying to be kind, but picking apart someone’s comment for not being comforting in the exact way you are trying to be comforting isn’t helpful, especially as Delicious Taffy is not a child, they don’t need shielded from the idea that some people have such strong startle reactions it takes a lot of attempts.

            Some people will always find it difficult, some people will always find it easy, some people will get used to it over time. This variation means that it is important to try to stay calm by taking deep breaths and to expect it may take several attempts if it is a test you choose to participate in.

  69. Figureaddict
    Figureaddict
    January 5, 2021 at 4:24 pm | # | Reply

    You have multiple characters with glasses, all need an optometrist. Give her a name.

  70. MIR
    MIR
    January 5, 2021 at 6:55 pm | # | Reply

    If her name isn’t Iris I would be disappointed XD

  71. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    January 5, 2021 at 9:19 pm | # | Reply

    TW: Graphic illustration in link! Not for everybody!

    From the Yesterday’s Print site, I think I stumbled across
    what Joyce is conjuring up in her head.

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