Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

September 20, 2023

Steal

by David M Willis on August 17, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 05 – As Long As It's Free

└ Tags: malaya, sal

Discussion (213) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    August 17, 2021 at 12:03 am | #

    “your thing is dumb and also I hate it but I will totes get a better your thing and also in a cooler way than you did” = Malaya’s whole life

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      August 17, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

      That’s probably my favorite aspect of Malaya as a character.

      • MaximumZero
        MaximumZero
        August 17, 2021 at 12:41 am | #

        Malaya: Empress of Fakey

        • Deathjavu
          Deathjavu
          August 17, 2021 at 8:16 am | #

          This. My god Malaya, at least try to be subtle in your hypocrisy. Or at least less grating to those around you.

          • Rosicrucian
            Rosicrucian
            August 17, 2021 at 10:23 am | #

            College freshmen are never subtle in their hypocrisy.

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              August 17, 2021 at 5:38 pm | #

              You’ve obviously never seen the more intelligent ones.

              But hopelly, those who are that smart are those who would be smart enough to realize that cooperation is not only morally but mathematically optimal.

      • Pylgrim
        Pylgrim
        August 17, 2021 at 9:19 am | #

        That’s a strange way of spelling “despicable”.

    • Hrafn
      Hrafn
      August 17, 2021 at 1:56 am | #

      If nobody was around for Malaya to one-up, would she still exist?

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        August 17, 2021 at 5:23 am | #

        If a tree fell in a forest, it’s because Malaya kicked it down and if a tree didn’t fall in a forest, it’s because Malaya allowed it to be so. Ergo, we can determine that if nobody was around to one-up, that’s only because Malaya didn’t allow them around.

        Thus, in conclusion, the real question is: Would anyone else exist, if Malaya didn’t allow for it?

        ..hold up, I might be thinking of Chuck Norris. My bad.

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          August 17, 2021 at 11:47 pm | #

          Seeing the ridiculousness laid out plain as day like this is really helpful for Sal and others like her.

          She’s not trapped inside someone else’s dysfunctional world. She’s living NEXT TO someone trapped inside their OWN dysfunctional world.

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          August 17, 2021 at 11:53 pm | #

          Also, I hate to admit it, but there’s a part of me that really wants to feel bad for Malaya.

          I just kinda find it hard to believe that she would go out of her way to be a bully just for the sake of being a bully, that there might be something in her past for which she is instigating such denigration of others as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

          Regardless, like most people, I think ill of those who denigrate others to feel better about themselves.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    August 17, 2021 at 12:03 am | #

    Sal: (Ha, no way, nothing is cooler than stealing)

    Malaya arrives with a large bouquet.

    Sal: What th- how tha hell did ya get those?

    Malaya: Get this – Marcie just gave me some because she likes me. That’s way cooler than stealing them. It takes less effort and shows that I’m admired. Shame no one would do that for you, right?

    Sal: (Dammit!)

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      August 17, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

      And thus began the Indiana University Flower War of 20xx, orsome other cool name for an esclating series of flower based escpades.

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        August 17, 2021 at 1:10 am | #

        Please tell me IU has a botany department with a large greenhouse full of exotic plants for them to devastate.

        • Edwin I Callahan
          Edwin I Callahan
          August 17, 2021 at 9:55 am | #

          It does indeed. Actually, Malaya and Sal would be running a real risk setting their flower war in it. The IU botany department is very protective of their greenhouse.

      • eh, whatever
        eh, whatever
        August 17, 2021 at 5:23 am | #

        the Indiana University Flower War of Fluid Present

        • Steelbright
          Steelbright
          August 17, 2021 at 9:44 pm | #

          I’d read that novel

  3. Citizen Octopus
    Citizen Octopus
    August 17, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh, Malaya. You try SO hard…

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      August 17, 2021 at 2:34 am | #

      Malaya is very trying.

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        August 17, 2021 at 9:32 am | #

        She really is.

  4. Yumi
    Yumi
    August 17, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    Ah, Malaya and their…ways…

  5. King Daniel
    King Daniel
    August 17, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    “These’re some nice flowers I have. It would be a shame if anyone stole these gorgeous, sweet-smelling flowers I don’t really want from me.”

  6. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    August 17, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    Malaya, what exactly do you want from Sal?

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

      For Sal to be honest, except when Malaya thinks she’s being fake.

      Sal can’t be a Cool Badass Biker Chick because that’s fake, but also if she ever acts out of that image she’s betraying what she created.

      Simple.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        August 17, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

        It doesn’t seem like there’s any way for Sal to please Malaya. They don’t want Sal to change or improve, they just want to dislike her and feel superior to her.

        • StClair
          StClair
          August 17, 2021 at 12:27 am | #

          Bingo.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            August 17, 2021 at 3:09 am | #

            Yes, she is a bingo.

        • Carl Muckenhoupt
          Carl Muckenhoupt
          August 17, 2021 at 12:28 am | #

          Replace “Sal” with “anyone” and that’s a pretty fair summary of Malaya’s character from Shortpacked onward.

          • Eclipsa
            Eclipsa
            August 17, 2021 at 5:10 am | #

            THIS.

    • HeySo
      HeySo
      August 17, 2021 at 5:26 am | #

      “Malaya, what exactly do you want from Sal?”

      I wanna say “dick”- not for the sake of being crude, but because Malaya chasing down things in all the wrong ways is just exceptionally to character.

      • HeySo
        HeySo
        August 17, 2021 at 5:26 am | #

        Then again, I suppose the same could be said for Sal. :S

  7. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    August 17, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Oh my god, go away, Malaya.

    • brionl
      brionl
      August 17, 2021 at 12:44 am | #

      Go away kid, you bother me

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsfv9KpNMmI

  8. James Starkey
    James Starkey
    August 17, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Way to (almost) show you (don’t) care Malaya.

  9. BBCC
    BBCC
    August 17, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    Sure, sweetie, whatever floats your ‘half contrarian half jealous half superiority need’ boat. 😛

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      August 17, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

      Malaya deserves some respect here. It’s hard to be aloof and apathetic, while also secretly wanting those things, but not really because actually unironically enjoying things isn’t cool. It’s a delicate balancing act making sure no one actually knows what your deal is.

      • Jamie
        Jamie
        August 17, 2021 at 12:09 pm | #

        No, not really. Teenagers do it all the time.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

      Actually you know what, I wonder if Malaya’s being a super turbo butthole above her usual standards of merely being a turbo butthole because Sal’s engaging in something honestly. She has a flower on her desk, she is enjoying the flower, and Malaya already saw Sal be a fakey biker chick who obviously deliberately cultivated a persona that would make everyone thinks she’s cool and badass, and Sal not being that right now is freaking Malaya out because Malaya herself still struggles with “fakey” feelings.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        August 17, 2021 at 12:29 am | #

        You either die a genuine or live long enough to see yourself become the fakey!

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        August 17, 2021 at 2:40 am | #

        In Malaya’s world, everyone play-acts a role they’re not ‘supposed to’ deviate from.

        That sounds like projection of her insecurities about her own sense of self.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        August 17, 2021 at 8:08 am | #

        I do agree with the analysis, but I’m not really sure Malaya’s being much worse than normal. She has her occasional better moments, but this seems pretty much her baseline.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 17, 2021 at 8:47 am | #

          I dunno, I don’t think her treatment of Sal has ever been for anything but Sal’s own behaviour and, at least in my interpretation, Malaya’s hate of fake people like Sal, Mary and Lucy(?).

          But now Sal’s doing something that’s true to herself, she is enjoying a gift from a friend like she wants to, and Malaya’s still acting up.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            August 17, 2021 at 10:40 am | #

            Except that Malaya interprets all of Sal’s behavior as fakey with little evidence she’s ever been right.

            I mean, you’re right that Malaya hasn’t harassed her for doing something like this, but then she has harassed for just walking into their room – like the time with Fuckface’s light.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          August 17, 2021 at 12:08 pm | #

          Malaya DID crank it up a bit when Marcie was mad at Sal, as a way of ‘taking Marcie’s side’, but Marcie’s been asking her to be nicer so who tf knows.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      August 17, 2021 at 1:11 am | #

      It’s nice that Malaya’s shirt represents their personality like that.

      (Also, on DYW’s end, it’s nice how it’s a repeat shirt. I appreciate the rotating but not unlimited wardrobe.)

  10. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    August 17, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

    Now who’s the performative poseur, Malaya?

  11. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    August 17, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

    God shut up Malaya no one cares

  12. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    August 17, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    Flowers are nice…too bad Malaya isn’t.

  13. Wagstaff
    Wagstaff
    August 17, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    Malaya, are you really THAT eager to denigrate others that you said something as desperate as THAT?

    *plays “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” by Irving Berlin on Voxola PR-76*

    • WanderingLynx
      WanderingLynx
      August 17, 2021 at 12:27 am | #

      What a glorious choice for tonight’s soundtrack

      • milu
        milu
        August 17, 2021 at 7:15 am | #

        Nice!
        As a follow-up and in the same vein, Santino Fontana “I could if I wanted to”

  14. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    August 17, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    So don’t delay, act now, supplies are running out
    Allow if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive
    And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow
    But if the offer’s shunned
    You might as well be Walkin’ On The Tsun…

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 3:12 am | #

      Oooo oo. Very nicely done!

  15. Nayann Martinelli
    Nayann Martinelli
    August 17, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    If someone robs the flower shop, we know who the criminal is.

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      August 17, 2021 at 12:10 pm | #

      *points at Danny*

  16. Carla's #2 Fan
    Carla's #2 Fan
    August 17, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

    Does hovertext imply that Malaya has a crush on Sal?

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 17, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

      I sure hope not. Otherwise such a relationship might just end up like Ruth and “Jennifer”.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        August 17, 2021 at 12:25 am | #

        Alas, Sal is extremely straight

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          August 17, 2021 at 12:33 am | #

          And to think I actually found Malaya attractive?!?!

          I hope Marcie subjects her to Death by Snu Snu!!!

          • WanderingLynx
            WanderingLynx
            August 17, 2021 at 12:50 am | #

            I can only think that if Malaya kicks the bucket, the others could invite Ruth to the derby team, therefore improving it 1000%. Plus, Ruth needs friends, and a safe outlet for her rage too; and with her background in hockey she’d kick ass hardcore.

            Alas, death by SnuSnu is too nice for Malaya.

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              August 17, 2021 at 12:55 am | #

              Is WWE still a thing? If so, Malaya and “Jennifer” would be PERFECT for it!

              Still though, Malaya subjected to Death by Snu Snu would make for a pretty neat SlipShine, or even one of Yotomoe’s marvelous drawings!!!

              • WanderingLynx
                WanderingLynx
                August 17, 2021 at 1:09 am | #

                Yotomoe spoil us, that’s true. His art is so good this would be the only instance I’d legit like to see Malaya anywhere – And considering “Jennifer” has shown a capacity to be better Malaya hasn’t exhibited, I’d request her to kick said jerk’s ass with her “monster cheerleader thighs” (quote by Ruth, if memory serves?)

                I’d be the good I want to see in the world but my art is too subpar |’DD

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  August 17, 2021 at 3:17 am | #

                  Oh come on, I’m willing to reckon that your art skills are at least a little better than mine!

                  Hopefully yours don’t also cap out at photoshoping crazy internet memes……

              • WanderingLynx
                WanderingLynx
                August 17, 2021 at 8:10 am | #

                REPLYING HERE BECAUSE I CAN’T CONTINUE THE THREAD FOR SOME REASON: Wagstaff, you’re awesome and this meme made me cackle. Do not stop making memes 8D

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              August 17, 2021 at 5:02 am | #

              If you want to see (official but non-canon) Derby Ruth, then good news!

              https://mobile.twitter.com/damnyouwillis/status/1360786483880296450

              • WanderingLynx
                WanderingLynx
                August 17, 2021 at 8:09 am | #

                Best thing I’ve seen tonight, and I can only pray to Willis that it happens one day. Thank you so much for showing me this ;A; ♥

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 17, 2021 at 11:14 am | #

                Marvel, DC et al. take note. THIS is how you put women of power (i.e. women) together in a single frame. Not because rolly derby is a ‘woman sport’, but because they came together naturally over a shared interest (which conveniently was not ‘men’).

                caveat: I am not a woman and obviously it’s not my place to speak on women’s issues, I wanted to speak up in favour of such and support popularizing it going forwards. Any offense caused herein is my own. mea culpa

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 17, 2021 at 12:53 am | #

      I’m glad someone understood the alt text.

      That someone is not me.

      • Some1
        Some1
        August 17, 2021 at 3:50 pm | #

        Nah, it’s pretty much a meaningless sentence. Tsundere basically translates to someone who is aloof yet lovestruck. In english the alt text would roughly translate to Malaya has never met an aloof she hasn’t lovestruck.” Actually maybe that does work?

    • WanderingLynx
      WanderingLynx
      August 17, 2021 at 12:53 am | #

      As CarlaGODDESS herself said: “Shoves is not Loves”

      I super hope not. It’d be the most ironic possible fate for Malaya but I wouldn’t subject Sal (who’s word-of-Willis confirmed straight) to be crushed on by such a jerk. Not even for said jerk’s punishment.

  17. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    August 17, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

    Just get a cooler looking flower, if you ask me roses might as old fashioned as it gets but it’s a true classic that doesn’t go out of style.

    • Zach
      Zach
      August 17, 2021 at 12:38 am | #

      You want garlic flowers, then. Or proteas, but my favorit by the metrics of ‘cool’ are scabiosa pods.

      I prefer Bells of Ireland, myself. MUCH cooler things are out there but you won’t find them at your local florist’s.

      • Clif
        Clif
        August 17, 2021 at 12:55 am | #

        Sun flowers are always cool.

        • Genesee
          Genesee
          August 17, 2021 at 7:12 am | #

          Aspergillium is totally awesome.

          • GeneseePaws
            GeneseePaws
            August 17, 2021 at 7:18 am | #

            Misled by Otto carrot . purple starburst allium is what I wanted to suggest.

    • WanderingLynx
      WanderingLynx
      August 17, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

      I love red lilies the most, but I can’t have any because they’re highly toxic to cats TwT

      If it’s for Malaya, tho, I’d give them a big ol’ Rafflesia. Match made in heaven – It’s even parasitic like them!

      • egg egg
        egg egg
        August 17, 2021 at 10:18 am | #

        I feel ya, Lynx. Lilies are my favorite too, but my cats are way more important.

        Love when I give my cats some cat grass though.

      • Zach
        Zach
        August 18, 2021 at 1:44 pm | #

        Wow, it grows like a mold?!
        Thanks for the link

  18. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    August 17, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

    Malaya.

    Shut.

    • chuckroast
      chuckroast
      August 17, 2021 at 1:24 am | #

      The fuck.

      • Tawnee
        Tawnee
        August 17, 2021 at 2:24 am | #

        up up down down left right left right b a start

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          August 17, 2021 at 3:49 am | #

          [Disco Mode Unlocked]

  19. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    August 17, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    Malaya is weirdo, but like, that’s their thing, it has grown on me to an extent.

    Sal stopping to smell the flower is honestly pretty cute. I like that she can appreciate stuff like this, which runs counter to what a lot of people might assume about her.

  20. MrSmith
    MrSmith
    August 17, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

    Panel 4 is probably my favourite Sal face (that doesn’t quite sound right)

    • pararell spade
      pararell spade
      August 17, 2021 at 4:49 am | #

      We have been getting pretty good Sal faces recently.

  21. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    August 17, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

    I love Sal’s dismissal and sass, here. She’s giving Malaya nothing, and now they want what she’s got. Their transparent denial of that want is also very good.

  22. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    August 17, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

    Begone Malaya.

  23. He Who Abides
    He Who Abides
    August 17, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

    FAKEY!

  24. ADLegend21
    ADLegend21
    August 17, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

    awww Malaya IS envious! Love seeing Sal be happy though, more of that!

  25. woobie
    woobie
    August 17, 2021 at 12:25 am | #

    French fries are apparently much better when they are stolen from my plate.
    Flowers are the same.

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 17, 2021 at 12:57 am | #

      Can confirm. Stolen frys always taste better.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        August 17, 2021 at 1:13 am | #

        Clif is a seagull, so he knows.

        • Sam
          Sam
          August 17, 2021 at 9:40 am | #

          woobie knows that already, who do you think is stealing their fries in the first place.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            August 17, 2021 at 11:19 am | #

            One thing alone is better than stolen food. Stealing the last piece of the food.

            Stealing the hot and perfect *first* piece is pretty sweet too.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              August 17, 2021 at 3:02 pm | #

              Oh, I’d never steal the last piece of food. That’s rude.

              Possibly half of it, leaving the other half to be the last piece. Possibly all the pieces before it, but you never take the last piece.

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                August 17, 2021 at 5:06 pm | #

                There’s always another half-piece left. – Xeno’s Parasnacks

                • woobie
                  woobie
                  August 18, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

                  ha!

              • milu
                milu
                August 17, 2021 at 9:12 pm | #

                the last piece may never be eaten.

                Not even by they who hath ordered the fries and through more or less clenched teeth pronounced the correct formula: “help yourselves to some of my fries”.

                Whomsoever partaketh of the last half-fry is the scum of the earth. Such is the rule.

                The last half-fry shall always be deposited at the altar whereat our Godly Overlords, who hath passed this law unto the realm, shall be worshipped.

                all praise our Rodent Overlords.

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  August 17, 2021 at 9:42 pm | #

                  Hopefully ducks aren’t gonna eat it.

                  It interferes with their migration patterns, and depending on what food it is, it could damage their ability to fly.

  26. WanderingLynx
    WanderingLynx
    August 17, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

    Sal smelling the flower is so tender. Of course Malaya wasn’t going to let that stand.

    Jealousy or not, there’s only one faker in this room and it ain’t Sal. I can’t imagine what it has to be like to share living quarters with someone who’s decided beforehand everything you do is to be judged. I’d dare say that the only person in this wing who has it worse is Roz.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 11:22 am | #

      I can’t decide if Malaya and Mary would join forces into an axis of evil hags (fusion), or if their proximity to each other would result in some kind of runaway criticality effect resulting in the destruction of that wing of the door (fission).

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        August 17, 2021 at 3:43 pm | #

        They’d stack on top of each other as material for a much stronger force of rudeness, with more powerful effects (Xyz)

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        August 17, 2021 at 11:58 pm | #

        Malaya has no love for Mary, so probably the latter

  27. Yumi
    Yumi
    August 17, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

    Maybe Malaya will go break into a greenhouse, get caught, have to work there to prevent them from getting her in trouble, discover their love of helping plants grow, and become a botanical artist.

    Or not, but it’d be pretty wild if that was my prediction that came true.

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 17, 2021 at 5:14 am | #

      Hmmm… has she really shown any hobbies of hers besides roller derby and intimacy with who she perceives as the “hot guys l”?

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        August 17, 2021 at 8:13 am | #

        I don’t know if it counts as a hobby, but she is taking an art class.

        Where she gets to show up Mary by making progress rather than drawing the same anime figure every time.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        August 17, 2021 at 1:21 pm | #

        This is kind of a weird place for this, since this comment in particular doesn’t bother me, but I’m going to request that you please not interact with me/respond to my comments going forward. Past this thread, I’ll do the same in regard to you.

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 17, 2021 at 5:15 am | #

      *”hot guys”

  28. StClair
    StClair
    August 17, 2021 at 12:27 am | #

    Bye Felicia Malaya.

  29. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    August 17, 2021 at 12:29 am | #

    That’s the spirit Sal, don’t acknowledge her bullshit and she’ll have no power over you.

    Also it seems like Malaya might be more insecure about some things than I previously thought. Still no excuse for acting a grade-A bongo.

  30. LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    August 17, 2021 at 12:30 am | #

    Awww, Sal likes the flower! Does this mean that Sal… likes… Danny???!?

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 12:40 am | #

      Platonically, yeah. Other than Marcie, Danny is Sal’s closest friend in the comic thus far, but he’s still someone she kept at arms length and really only engaged with him on her terms, which were by and large “let’s never define what this means because if we do that then it becomes about Labels rather than Feelings.”

      Sooooo right now she’s working her way up towards “Danny actually means the nice things he says to me, he isn’t secretly just trying to get into my pants or attain emotional blackmail.”

  31. ReFlex76
    ReFlex76
    August 17, 2021 at 12:34 am | #

    Malaya trying to out-tsundere Sal

  32. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    August 17, 2021 at 12:35 am | #

    Jesus Christ, Malaya, leave us with SOME subtext to work with

    • Clif
      Clif
      August 17, 2021 at 12:59 am | #

      Stolen subtext always tastes better.

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        August 17, 2021 at 11:25 am | #

        The only thing better than stolen subtext is stealing the last bit of subtext… wait

  33. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    August 17, 2021 at 12:44 am | #

    *sprays Malaya with Febreze*

  34. Ralph Oscar
    Ralph Oscar
    August 17, 2021 at 1:04 am | #

    Can’t STAND Malaya’s mullet. So gross and unattractive.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      August 17, 2021 at 1:21 am | #

      ??? The hell are you talking about? That’s not a mullet by far??

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        August 17, 2021 at 4:49 am | #

        If anything, it’s more “Liza Minnelli”.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          August 17, 2021 at 7:26 am | #

          I’m pretty sure it’s a haircut in Splatoon.

          Malaya is an Inkling.

  35. Rognik
    Rognik
    August 17, 2021 at 1:04 am | #

    Methinks Malaya is in denial too much.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 11:27 am | #

      This dramatic engine deserves more recognition, and we deserve more fuckface.

  36. Bagge
    Bagge
    August 17, 2021 at 1:56 am | #

    I’m calling it. Fuckface will eat that flower.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 11:28 am | #

      God damnit fat fucking thumbs mobile tiny bloody buttons shit piss. grrrr

      This dramatic engine deserves more recognition, and we deserve more fuckface.

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 17, 2021 at 3:32 pm | #

        You know what I wonder?

        What if in the future, Willis makes some kind of some kind of bizarre off the walls DOA story, and in the end, it all turns out to be Fuckface’s dream?

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 17, 2021 at 5:10 pm | #

          1980’s Dallas
          2020’s Willis

          NoooooooOOOO!

          • Wagstaff
            Wagstaff
            August 17, 2021 at 7:25 pm | #

            I don’t get it.

            But I was picturing the end of it being Fuckface waking up in the canon DOA timeline.

            • Demoted Oblivious
              Demoted Oblivious
              August 18, 2021 at 2:27 pm | #

              Dallas wrote of an entire… season? i think, as a dream of one of the characters.

  37. BenRG
    BenRG
    August 17, 2021 at 2:08 am | #

    Sal in panel 4: *Sniff* “Oh, Danny!”

    If Malaya hadn’t come back to remind her that she is jealous and insecure, she probably would have had the time to realise what she was thinking as matters stand, the thought is going to have some time to roll around inside her head a few times.

    • Tan
      Tan
      August 17, 2021 at 2:17 am | #

      I really don’t think that’s an ‘Oh Danny’. I think she just really appreciates having some flowers to brighten things up. Now if left alone she MIGHT have been able to get that train of thought to what a thoughtful gesture it was on Danny’s part, but Malaya is Malaya.

    • egg egg
      egg egg
      August 17, 2021 at 10:08 am | #

      Personally, I read it as Sal rightfully thinking that the best way to annoy Malaya is to just continue enjoying her flowers despite the ribbing.

  38. Kravis
    Kravis
    August 17, 2021 at 2:10 am | #

    A “cooler” way to get a flower is to receive it, Malaylay.

  39. PiotrW
    PiotrW
    August 17, 2021 at 2:13 am | #

    What’s up with women and flowers anyway? Why do you like them? Explain yourself, please 🙂

    • Tan
      Tan
      August 17, 2021 at 2:17 am | #

      They are pretty and smell nice, yo.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      August 17, 2021 at 3:59 am | #

      What’s up with British “people” and tea, anyway? What’s up with dogs and sniffing stuff? What’s up with air and getting inhaled?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        August 17, 2021 at 4:30 am | #

        And what is the deal with the moon? We landed on the moon. We see at night because of sunlight reflected off of the moon. Ancient civilizations worshipped the moon. But what has it done for us lately? The tides? Is that all?

        • eh, whatever
          eh, whatever
          August 17, 2021 at 6:03 am | #

          Keeping the Earth’s rotation axis from tumbling about as much as occasionally happens on Mars. 🙂

          (Mars has traces left by glaciers on its equator somewhere, but no plate tectonics.)

    • eh, whatever
      eh, whatever
      August 17, 2021 at 6:02 am | #

      You don’t like flowers?

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      August 17, 2021 at 9:37 am | #

      Some of them smell pretty nice and almost all of them look pretty. I can’t blame women for liking them, and as a man if I ever got flowers as a gift I’d probably like them too.

    • Sam
      Sam
      August 17, 2021 at 9:37 am | #

      Flower pretty. Sparks joy.

    • egg egg
      egg egg
      August 17, 2021 at 10:06 am | #

      Flowers are pretty and sometimes edible.

  40. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    August 17, 2021 at 2:31 am | #

    She/they jelly.

  41. Varius
    Varius
    August 17, 2021 at 2:54 am | #

    When did Malaya go from “she” to “they?”

    • Varius
      Varius
      August 17, 2021 at 2:56 am | #

      And, it is weirdly appropriate that my avatar is Cara.

      • RacingTurtle
        RacingTurtle
        August 17, 2021 at 2:59 am | #

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-11/01-this-bright-millennium/pronouns/

        Here you go!

  42. RacingTurtle
    RacingTurtle
    August 17, 2021 at 3:01 am | #

    Sal’s poster is definitely based on a real-life guitar…diagram? art piece? that exists somewhere, right?

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      August 17, 2021 at 4:18 am | #

      It looks like a HSS Stratocaster, but with either two-tone paint or a bigger than normal pickguard. (Probably to make it recognizable but different enough to not incur Fender’s wrath.)

  43. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    August 17, 2021 at 3:20 am | #

    Sal is just so sweet… She looks so happy with her flowers ♡. And she has ever found a secret weakness of Malaya that will be very useful for Marcie to know. I can’t wait to see Malaya’s reaction when her girlfriend will give them a big bouquet of beautiful and fragrant flowers♡. Maybe with Sal seeing all in the background thinking somethingon on the line of “The worker must have bread, but she must have roses, too.” and smile.

  44. Human Bean
    Human Bean
    August 17, 2021 at 4:12 am | #

    ‘kay, so, I totally understand people being irked by Malaya’s shitty behaviour. But, still, seeing all this Malaya hate stings a little bit because they mean a lot to me.

    You know that strip where Malaya was like “Eh, not sure I’m actually a woman, but [gestures at own body] can’t really argue with this”? That’s pretty much exactly me. And I didn’t know it was a thing, y’know? I guess I believed that’s what most people felt like, if they ever thought critically about the concept of gender. But, reading the comment section, I discovered that this may actually not be the way cis people usually feel?
    I’m still not sure if I’m actually non-binary or just feel uncomfortable with feminity because of internalized misogyny (got a LOT of that, sadly). But… this comic made me feel seen, in a good way, and so I kinda love Malaya, shitty attitude and all.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      August 17, 2021 at 4:26 am | #

      I don’t think anybody here hates Malaya because of that. It’s all the shitty attitude and accusing everyone else of being insincere or ‘fakey’. I think that’s a projection of her/their own insecurities. “I don’t know what I am, so nobody else does either! They’re all faking it! Fakey! Hey wait, that doesn’t fit the character I mentally cast you as… Fakey!”

    • MrSmith
      MrSmith
      August 17, 2021 at 5:16 am | #

      I’m a straight, white male and I can tell you the reason I dislike Malaya is because of her bullying attitude towards Sal

    • Buli-buli
      Buli-buli
      August 17, 2021 at 5:55 am | #

      I can understand being defensive about a character you see yourself in.

      But, I can assure you my problems with Malaya all boil down to her being an aggressive version of Holden Caulfield (The Catcher in the Rye).

    • eh, whatever
      eh, whatever
      August 17, 2021 at 6:07 am | #

      Yup, cis here. I’ve always felt that the people of the same gender were in some basic way like me, and the others were The Other. Not everybody has that.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 7:25 am | #

      Take it from someone who projected really hard onto Amber and her struggles with mental illness and self-worth as a result of an abusive upbringing, and consequently took it really, really, really badly when Amber’s mental health reached a nadir, she started lashing out, and the comments section wasn’t too kind, because of course they weren’t, many of them had been on the receiving end of Amber’s actions she was engaging with at her lowest point as much as I lived in fear of ever engaging in them.

      It’s okay to find identity and value in fictional characters, it’s okay to see yourself in them, but someone saying “this character sucks” is never going to be a reflection of anyone who identifies with that character, because an actual real life human being not only never fully maps onto a fictional character, a type of being that by design is a caricature of real life that exists to convey a story, feelings, beliefs, ideas, and thoughts, every actual real life human being has a thousand complexities going on in their lives that a fictional character just doesn’t have enough time in the day to be drawn experiencing.

    • WanderingLynx
      WanderingLynx
      August 17, 2021 at 8:04 am | #

      AFAB enby here and honestly, for the longest time I was like “eeeh, I’m a soft butch lesbian and that’s it”. Exactly like Malaya said, I found difficult to argue with “all this” – In summer I’m the first one to ditch shirts and ties for shorts and sleeveless shirts with indecent cleavage. My #thing with gender isn’t so much dysphoria as it’s disconnection, and a sense that to me it was performative.

      It’s the only time I’ve liked Malaya. And that’s not a reflection on you – It’s just that a character that voiced a #relatable thing about gender happens to be a big bully. If you’d like to talk more about enby struggles and how the notion of internalized misogyny murks the waters on self-discovered I’m 100% game, tho. Sorry that the comments’ section frustration makes you feel badly :<

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      August 17, 2021 at 8:21 am | #

      If it helps, most of us disliked Malaya long before there were signs they were non-binary.

      I definitely like her more since then, since we’ve seen some indication of what’s driving her and thus the potential for character growth.

    • Sam
      Sam
      August 17, 2021 at 9:34 am | #

      I’m glad you feel seen but the reason why I hate Malaya is because she reminds me of bullies I have had in real life. If she turned around and had an attitude adjustment and apologised for lashing out at Sal because of her own insecurities, I might not instantly love her, but my opinion would shift in a positive direction.

      Can promise you that it is nothing to do with the gender stuff. That’s the one aspect of Malaya I actually like a fair bit because it shows her more vulnerable sides and humanises her. If she talked about that more and called people fakey less, I’d like her more.

      Kind of like how I hate Jennifer but I loved when Ruth and Jennifer interacted because it brought out better sides of her that we otherwise wouldn’t have gotten to see.

      • Human Bean
        Human Bean
        August 17, 2021 at 3:54 pm | #

        “I’m glad you feel seen but the reason why I hate Malaya is because she reminds me of bullies I have had in real life.”

        That sounds very understandable. I’m sorry you had to deal with abusive people, and I absolutely agree that the way Malaya acts towards Sal is not cool.
        Thank you for your kind words.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      August 17, 2021 at 9:45 am | #

      My dislike for Malaya is entirely because of her shitty behavior towards other people, not because of her non-binary gender or anything like that. And I disliked her for that shitty behavior long before that gender identity was revealed in this comic. If Malaya would stop being such a jerk to other people, my views on her as a character would improve.

    • Alex
      Alex
      August 17, 2021 at 10:46 am | #

      That’s me too! I never felt like a woman but I look like one 🙁

      I haven’t decided what my gender is exactly but Booster is my avatar for a reason.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 11:40 am | #

      It is beautiful that you are able to identify with a character and feel seen, and you have my empathy for feeling attacked because there are other aspects of said character people don’t like.

      For what it’s worth, your openning up here like this, and sharing your feelings, makes you different from Malaya over pretty much the thing that people dislike about Malaya. You are open and vulnerable and deserve love, recognition and pride in yourself. Malaya is judgemental and agressively attacks others, undermining them to build up her image of herself. That does not mean she has zero redeeming features. I hope you feel better about yourself, and I will try to restruct my dislike comments of her behaviour to exactly that aspect, rather than generalized *gestures* all of her.

      • Alex
        Alex
        August 17, 2021 at 12:24 pm | #

        Okay but imagine being a questioning afab person and never, ever seeing yourself represented in the media. Every afab that wears mans clothing or lives a man’s life turns out to be totally cis in the end. And then the ONE person who you could identify with from a gender perspective turns out to be a jerk and everyone hates them. Even if the hate is someone justified it still sucks. It’s clear no one hates Malaya for their gender identity but its still hard to see everyone hate them so much when you identify with them.

        Meant more as a reply to this whole thread, and no judgement meant. Just trying to clarify where I think Human Bean is coming from.

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 17, 2021 at 5:18 pm | #

          That is all incredibly valid and a fair assessment (i think) of the frustration Human Bean expressed. Thank you. I did not mean to defend generalize Malaya bashing vs attacking that specific fault of theirs. My efforts were meant to be a hand held out in friendship and admiration for HumanBean’s courage to speak up. And yes, it would be nice if there was such a character to identify with. Hopefully the prediction by others that Malaya may experience significant growth in this arc can come true.

          Also. I need to be called out for misgendering Malaya. It was in error and I did not intend to present offense to them or others. I apologize.

    • Human Bean
      Human Bean
      August 17, 2021 at 3:25 pm | #

      Thank you all for your kind replies.

      Maybe my comment was poorly phrased, but I didn’t actually get the impression that people dislike Malaya because of their gender identity. It’s just kinda weird when people are like “ugh, this character sucks, they should just die“, and it feels like you’re the only one who wants to see this particular character get more screen time so bad.
      I know that Malaya’s behavior is… unpleasant (imho their worst strip was the one where they slammed their book on the table right next to sleeping Sal’s head. That’s just evil.) Heck, I know I find Becky very irritating because of how she treats Dorothy – I think I understand why she acts that way, and that she deserves sympathy for all the trauma she has to deal with, but it’s still really mean. Yet I’m sure there’s people who identify with Becky and love her, as a character (“GUESS WHAT I’M A LESBIAN” was a great moment), without excusing her hostility towards Dorothy. So I think I see where y’all are coming from.

      For me personally, the desire for non-binary representation and curiosity about Malaya’s character development outweigh the bad feelings about their behavior.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        August 17, 2021 at 11:35 pm | #

        Valid and FWIW, I love Malaya.

    • Thulcandran
      Thulcandran
      August 17, 2021 at 6:13 pm | #

      I’m NB, and I don’t like Malaya because they are incredibly rude, to the point of cruelty, to Sal, and dismissive of others.

      I have an especial dislike of “everything you do/everyone does is a put-on for faking purposes, and anything you do will only confirm that idea,” since it got thrown at me a lot by family.

      And I don’t always hate Malaya! I thought they were pretty spot-on in the art class (and honestly I thought Professor Doc wasn’t entirely wrong either, and was surprised at the level of backlash to both), with Mary, and I sympathize with their conversations with Carla. It’s just, the way they interact with Sal gives me hives.

    • milu
      milu
      August 17, 2021 at 8:55 pm | #

      yeah, i don’t hate Malaya, actually I enjoy them as a character, because as others have pointed out, they’ve become rather more interesting lately and their sandpaper personality makes for fun screwball-y venom, but a lot of commenters made me realize how terribly they’re behaving.

      now, my read, which is probably a little naive (and i should mention i’ve been bullied too, but i guess not in ways that i recognize in Malaya) is that Malaya while clearly crossing lines, isn’t punching down at someone clearly defenseless, and i don’t remember (?) them doing that, which doesn’t mean that their behaviour towards Sal is ok because it might feel like fun until it’s too late and you’ve hurt someone, and maybe last strip Sal was in fact hurt… but at the same time, as we see today, it kind of bounces off since Malaya is so transparently insecure themself. i feel like that takes away a lot of the sting. They don’t give off bully vibes to me, i guess is what i want to say, but of course everyone’s radar has its own sensitivity, so… what do i know.

  45. Bryy
    Bryy
    August 17, 2021 at 4:28 am | #

    Cannot wait for Booster and Malaya to meet.

    • WanderingLynx
      WanderingLynx
      August 17, 2021 at 8:14 am | #

      Booster uses GET REKT. It’s super effective!

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        August 17, 2021 at 5:21 pm | #

        “Don’t narrate yourself in the third person”, said Flashback Mike, “it’s pretentious.”

        • milu
          milu
          August 17, 2021 at 8:36 pm | #

          (Flashback Mike said “said Flashback Mike” out loud. said David Willis.)

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      August 17, 2021 at 8:52 am | #

      They’ve already met, albeit briefly.

    • mrnoidea
      mrnoidea
      August 17, 2021 at 12:01 pm | #

      And then Carla jumps in.

  46. Eldritchy
    Eldritchy
    August 17, 2021 at 4:50 am | #

    Hey Malaya, you ever heard of defenestration?

  47. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    August 17, 2021 at 5:11 am | #

    oh my god she’s in loooove

  48. MrSmith
    MrSmith
    August 17, 2021 at 5:17 am | #

    A few more of strips like these and I may have to start changing my view of Sal

  49. Mr.Morningstar
    Mr.Morningstar
    August 17, 2021 at 7:14 am | #

    Malaya oh my God no one cares

  50. showler
    showler
    August 17, 2021 at 7:58 am | #

    Trying to figure out who the character is on the poster and then realized it’s a guitar.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 11:49 am | #

      In a bar. It’s mid-day, but dark and rainy outside. Dreary. A lone guitar sits on a stool at the bar, fretting over a bottle of scotch. “That’s when I peaked, you know?” Picks up shot, puts it down. “Like, I finally got my shot to be somebody. I got a background scene in a webcomic.” Turns the scotch like a knob on a board. “But I blew it. I threw myself into that role, and they used it, but people barely even recognized me.” Slugs the shot. Pours another and downs it too. “I was strung so tight people didn’t even know I was a guitar, man.”

  51. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    August 17, 2021 at 9:07 am | #

    Alright now you’re really pushing it, NO ONE CARES

  52. John
    John
    August 17, 2021 at 9:40 am | #

    Oh god Malaya, for once could you not be an insufferable asshole? Just once.

  53. zee
    zee
    August 17, 2021 at 9:50 am | #

    Okay malayas actually really funny in this strip for once

  54. Smooti
    Smooti
    August 17, 2021 at 9:55 am | #

    I’ll be the odd man out. I think Malaya’s funny af and while they aren’t correct about Sal, a lot of the points they make about Sal are correct. They think Sal is projecting a cool girl image, but Sal is genuinely interested in those things. But Sal is a very defensive person and I think Malaya picked up on that, and assumed it was because of issues Malaya also deals with.

    In this case though clearly Malaya is just jealous of Sal’s flowers and maybe should just go get themselves some flowers.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 11:39 am | #

      Malaya’s conclusion about Sal is correct, just not the steps to get there.

      Sal doesn’t lean against walls with a cigarette complaining about how enjoying yourself doing anything is stupid, and that’s what Malaya thinks. Malaya sees Sal’s appearance and attitude as a deliberate affectation to curry favour.

      The truth is that Sal refuses to get close to anyone because they’ll use her, she straightens her hair so her parents will like her, she doesn’t get involved in organized anything because that means you care and caring about things is stupid, she leans against the wall smoking a cigarette complaining with Marcie because that’s something she can do without someone deciding it Means Something.

      Sal’s basically just Squall from Final Fantasy VIII. Squall suffers emotional trauma and so turns himself into a walled off uberbadass who might as well brand his clothes with Fuck Off and says petulant teenage bullshit like “never get hopeful for anything because then you’ll never be let down”, but then everyone around him decides that he’s actually the coolest motherfucker in the universe so they’re not only trying to gain the affection of Squall when he’s built himself to avoid it, they’re trying to gain the affection of the Squall that doesn’t actually exist.

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        August 17, 2021 at 11:42 am | #

        *Sal doesn’t lean against walls with a cigarette complaining about how enjoying yourself doing anything is stupid because she actually thinks this

        Anyway yeah Sal’s a faker, but she’s the fake hedgehog around here not faking being a cool badass rebel because she thinks cool badass rebels are admirable, she’s genuinely disaffected. Sal’s fakerade is that she pretends she doesn’t want anybody in her life when she clearly, blatantly does.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          August 17, 2021 at 2:36 pm | #

          I don’t think Sal not wanting people around is fake – at least, not entirely. There’s definitely been times where it’s more accurate than others though.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            August 17, 2021 at 3:34 pm | #

            Well yeah she’s not a super extroverted person who loves crowds, it’s that she acts like she only needs Marcie as her Singular Friend and everybody else can either piss off or be kept at arms’ length.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              August 17, 2021 at 4:45 pm | #

              She’d rather be alone than around people who might hurt her again, and she doesn’t really like being alone as much as she says she does.

              • Steelbright
                Steelbright
                August 17, 2021 at 9:57 pm | #

                THIS

              • Wagstaff
                Wagstaff
                August 17, 2021 at 11:39 pm | #

                ” It’s better to be alone for the rest of your life,
                then it is to be with bad company for another minute. “

                — Big Mamma

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              August 17, 2021 at 11:33 pm | #

              I think there have been times where she really did believe that, but that fluctuates and that’s been changing more steadily since she became friends with Danny and Joyce.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        August 17, 2021 at 4:00 pm | #

        Fuck, the Squall comparison is so apt, though. They even share a few superficial character traits, like leaning on walls alone and having prominent scars. And of course both of them are basically the most reliable when their friends are backed into a corner and (Saving Amazi-Girl from the truck/jumping several floors straight down to save Zell from a firing squad). Oh also they both have a canon affinity for a card game, a bit of an animal motif (less so with Sal), connections to high-ranking school faculty, an excitable friend from a different town, a girl with glasses who thinks of them as a sibling… Are we sure they’re not each other in a wig?

  55. egg egg
    egg egg
    August 17, 2021 at 9:59 am | #

    Wait does Sal sometimes get dimples when she smiles? That’s freaking adorable.

  56. Brighter Side
    Brighter Side
    August 17, 2021 at 10:32 am | #

    So they’re going to end up best friends by the end of the year, right? Malaya’s breaking a little.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      August 17, 2021 at 11:56 am | #

      OK That would seem the best possible outcome and would give us character growth and a hopefully delightful change is Malaya’s attitude. A good character with an edge from a dark past is an awesome growth arc (even if clichéd). While I will hope for this, and watch loyally, I worry that this will be why we can’t have nice things. Dramatic tragedy moves us in ways that simple yearning and success to not. God damn we suck.

      • Brighter Side
        Brighter Side
        August 17, 2021 at 2:04 pm | #

        Dang your picture matches your words, haha. I feel like we’ve got plenty of tragedy so far and maybe an unexpected friendship would be a new kind of drama, but it’s probably already written, so here’s to hoping.

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          August 17, 2021 at 5:03 pm | #

          To be fair this is Willis. They’ll build up enough of a hint between now and (checks buffer) December 21. But that will likely barely scratch the surface of where they’re taking us. And then we’ll be cast out into the void as lost as orphaned ducklings as Willis finds a shiny different character arc to make us wait through, and become invested in, and care for, and want to see where it’s going and then, *record scratch* it starts again. All of them building, and folding in upon themselves like proteins, until the true complexity of the plot is inscrutible to even the most ardent of fans, and then, as all these threads reach a climax, they’ll react together and we will be left, partly joyful, partly morose, and somewhat relieved, though no doubt disappointed that we won’t get to see any candy powered shenanigans or easter costumes.

          No wait, they did that already. Yeah, I’m sure they’ll give us what we want real soon. Right? Right?! (crawls away into corner and hugs his own legs)

          • milu
            milu
            August 17, 2021 at 8:30 pm | #

            i love it when you go off like that XD

  57. mrnoidea
    mrnoidea
    August 17, 2021 at 11:54 am | #

    Malaya, you are one “baka” away from becoming a tsundere.

    Ooh, I’m calling it, Sal and Danny will date—but just once, and Willis will pull a Willis. What particular Willis he aims to shoot for, I do not know.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 12:10 pm | #

      I’m guessing either right as Danny and Sal get close Ethan walks back into the story and the Lingering Feels kick back in, or Danny and Sal do more or less start dating, whereupon Sal’s parents get super supportive and praising of Danny because “he’s a nice normal boy who’ll make an honest woman out of you” and the struggle there is if Sal’s willing to be with someone her parents like, because the reason they’d like him is because Sal is now conforming to what they want of her.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        August 17, 2021 at 12:16 pm | #

        It isn’t until much later that the Walkertons find out that Danny isn’t as nice and ‘normal’ as they imagine (and that revelation quite surprises Sal too).

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          August 17, 2021 at 6:05 pm | #

          I’ve been saying it for years. Two words: Skin. Collection.

        • Some1
          Some1
          August 17, 2021 at 8:28 pm | #

          Not gonna lie, it would be actually kind of amazing if Danny somehow ended up being the comic’s final antagonist.

          • milu
            milu
            August 17, 2021 at 8:34 pm | #

            he teams up with Joyce who has gone, unavoidably, from atheism straight into radical satanism =D

  58. Megan Rivera
    Megan Rivera
    August 17, 2021 at 2:34 pm | #

    Why is she SO fucking mean to Sal ALL THE TIME? It’s REALLY annoying.

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      August 17, 2021 at 3:13 pm | #

      I can’t think of any right now, but surely she’s been mean to others too….

    • Eldritchy
      Eldritchy
      August 17, 2021 at 3:51 pm | #

      Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s the “Being mean to a girl you like” kind of bullcrap?

      • Wagstaff
        Wagstaff
        August 17, 2021 at 4:47 pm | #

        Even if it is, thankfully Sal’s straight. That ship would have gone as badly as Ruth and “Jennifer”.

        • Eldritchy
          Eldritchy
          August 17, 2021 at 4:52 pm | #

          Quite

  59. Steelbright
    Steelbright
    August 17, 2021 at 9:53 pm | #

    When you think about it, this logic isn’t actually all that different from Sal’s logic in stealing the flowers from Danny though… hahaha

    “Even if I did want this thing, which I don’t, I can’t just have it because Danny wants to give it to me, I have to get it by doing something much less reminiscent of my mother’s conditional approval more in character”

    (must note here that I’m already preemptively embarrassed about the possibility the HTML tags won’t work because I haven’t used them before)

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      August 17, 2021 at 10:13 pm | #

      It’s been six years and I still can’t hotlink here.

      I’ve tried. Oh Lord, have I tried.

      • Steelbright
        Steelbright
        August 19, 2021 at 3:53 pm | #

        I don’t even know what “hotlink” means so you’re still ahead of me…though it sounds vaguely from the mid 2000s

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probably not anywhere for a while 'cuz the world is covered in death

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