Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
All Known Alternatives
Karolina 'Kajotko' Jankiewicz
Akane has only one way to get back home: collect the 42 keys to parallel worlds. Eri and Ben are just trying to get through the summer before university. When a magical key turns up in an old spare set, all three are forced to change their plans and fast.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Hemlock
Josceline Fenton
A witch accidentally marries a monster, and now she and her familiar has to navigate life around her monstrous husband and her even more terrifying in-laws.
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Yes, when used “””in anger”””, the “””excessive””” application of “””air-quotes””” can prevent violence by keeping the hands “””occupied””” so they cannot “””throw””” punches. Myself, I am vibrating in “””rage””” at your “””abuse””” of them, since you did not properly “””close””” your “””air-quotes”””.
To some degree, depends on the person. I’ve known people who are pretty open about their Complicated Family Issues, and apart from ‘my half-sister flirts with boys I like/am dating,’ most of what we currently know isn’t TOO complex, or particularly rare. (In that what we have confirmed is ‘parents split, Mom had subsequent relationship producing half-sibling, maybe Dad also had a subsequent relationship.’ By comparison, I had three maternal grandfathers and all of them had been married at least once aside from my grandmother, and had children from at least one other relationship. We’re in contact with people from every branch of the family. Explaining who’s who gets complicated fast.)
However, Sarah’s a pretty private person, so I 100% see her not wanting to talk about her family in general beyond ‘I have a (half-)sister and my parents divorced when I was really young.’ Even if it weren’t A Thing, you must be Friendship Level 7 to hear Sarah’s Deepest Family Lore.
Wait, forgot the Stepmoms comment already. To our knowledge, then, we have at least three relationships in play here among parents, most likely four. (Sarah and Liz’s Mom – Sarah’s Dad, Sarah and Liz’s Mom – Liz’s Dad, either Liz’s Dad or potentially depending on how close she was to Sarah growing up Sarah’s Dad – Stepmom. Possibly also Remaining Dad – Second Stepmom and/or Liz’s Dad – Stepmom 2.)
The Stepmoms thing might only mean one stepmom because apparently using the plural when you mean the singular is a thing now. This hurts me but it does mean it could just be four parents: their Mom, Sarah’s Father, Liz’s Father and a Stepmom.
Impossible. I demand a complicated family tree with so many stepmothers that Dorothy makes a family tree and there is still a mystery stepmother where she can’t find where she fits, she’s just there.
Hey, masturbation is a great way to relieve stress and anger. It’s also recommended to do before you make decisions like “should I call my ex?” or “should I send my crush a picture?”
Make sure your downstairs isn’t doing the thinking for you.
I wonder if Joyce will be able to learn that technique and use it with Sarah (as everyone in her family seems to do) or she will stay stuck in talking to her and tackling problems one after another just using reasoning and understanding.
Ah, but considering the phrases a vibrator, and (back in that arc) I think my Nana gave me this one, there is more than one Other Male Liz can be referring to.
(Also, I’ll take suggestions for best collective term rather thann Other Male–that’s just off the top of my head.)
Sooo… two ways to take that last sentence, that I can think of:
1. Vibrator as a blunt object that is also kinda gross if it’s not your own, like flicking your boogers at someone.
2. More alike the nervous husband who, returning home on his wife’s period day, opens the door just enough to throw a big chocolate bar through. Waits patiently for her to devour it, and only comes inside once it’s safe.
“his wife’s period day”
…
_day_, … “Day”?! … I think I know why this husband is skittish at this time, if he thinks it’s only a day. Like, yeah, sure there are outliers, but that includes the other side, with some women where it can last a week (or more). And that’s just menstruation, not PMS + menstruation. Also, for dudes not in the know, a cycle is _typically_ ~28 days, but can vary a _lot_ between women, and for the same woman. Lastly, if he’s throwing chocolate at the ‘mysterious period monster’ his wife becomes, why the hell did she marry him? Dude seems to have no capacity to learn enough to be compassionate.
I know this is absolutely unrelated to the point you were making. I just… I’m not a woman, but there was just so much material here.
Also, throwing a vibrator at someone shouldn’t be gross. WASH your damn sex toys after you use them! people.
Ex’s keep taking mine with them. Actually, that’d be a good ask reddit: when a couple separates, who gets the sex toys? Is it a thing that people only want to use new sex toys in a relationship? Because that sounds artificially hygenic (i.e., not really), and wasteful.
No, it’s not. I mean it happens, and I think I see where you’re going here, but it’s not attributable to being sisters or female.
To expand the point, “Stealing” partners is a thing shitty people do, and shitty partners participate in. It’s also a thing people do to get away from shitty partners (“letting” themselves be “stolen”). But it’s definitely not the case that a dude (or gal or other) lacks agency when confronted by strange pussy (or dick or other). If your partner can be “stolen” there is something wrong with them, you, the relationship, or d) some/all of the above. So you’re better off apart at that point anyways.
It’s also a shitty thing to be a part of, (remember, whoever gets ‘stolen’ has agency).
Again, gonna add the flip side here: sometimes cheating with or on, is someone’s escape route from a shitty situation. I’ve known people who where terribly abused, but could not see it until someone else came along and showed them they were deserving of feeling loved and lovable again.
Oh agree 100%. Although if _safety_ is the issue, I’m hard pressed to see how cheating would make things safer, instead of just calling 911 and “ordering pizza”.
Well, for one, it not being safe to leave isn’t necessarily the same as ‘never relatively safe in the moment’ – one of the most dangerous moments is when you try to leave. For another, the ordering pizza thing is hardly air tight. A lot of 911 operators don’t know what it is or wtf you’d be talking about. It’s not a real thing they’re trained on. A lot will be able to figure it out, but other’s are just going to assume it’s a prank or a mistake and may hang up.
Fair enough. I have to second all this. I’m not female, and never been afraid of my partner like that. Whatever it takes to get out safely though, to whomever needs to do so, do it without guilt. And by that I don’t mean, “wait for a guilt free way” I mean “whatever it takes, and don’t feel guilty for looking out for yourself.”
I’ve a half-brother on my mother’s side. He’s 19 years younger than I am. The only time I ever refer to him as my half-brother is when I’m talking about our family situation. Other than that, I would never dream of doing what Sarah’s doing here. He’s my little brother! No matter how much of a brat he may be when he’s bored.
(I also have a “full-sister” and 2 “half-sisters” on my dad’s side- Same difference, tho the half sisters live in another continent.)
Hopefully your brother isn’t going around trying to steal your partners and saying he is more fun and therefore better liked. Because Liz be doing that to Sarah so it makes sense she’d want to reestablish distance from her when she basically brushes it off as not a big deal in the slightest and makes it more about how Sarah is cranky when it is something most people would be justifiably cranky about.
So…
Based on all the context clues,
Sarah and Liz’s mom:
Had at least one kid in a relationship.
Within one(point 5ish) year had another child with someone else.
And is now currently married to a woman (assuming that Liz is not from in vitro while their mom was with her current.)
I kinda want to know more about this woman.
She sounds interesting.
A great episode that also just had to be like "Okay, for this one specific criminal, Metropolis has the death penalty so he can't reveal Superman's secret identity."
Jeff Harris@nemalki.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
"The Late Mr. Kent" is damn good television.
Probably one of the best-written episodes of television written in the 1990s.
Not just animation. Television period.
some adult in pokemon: it's weird, nobody's ever seen a pokemon egg before! for thousands of years, no pokemon eggs have ever been discovered by humans!
ash: well let's go find one!
*fifteen minutes later*
ash: oh hey
Still researching old sleaze paperbacks and legitimately wondering if the book designer asked the author or editor what should be the tagline at the top and they mumbled out the above tagline and the book designer just...wrote it down.
Amen break whenever Mario vibrates extremely rapidly while emitting a barrage of "ha", "hoo", and "hmm" soundbites
Supper Mario Broth@mariobrothblog.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
In Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury, crouch-walking against a switch will make Mario vibrate extremely rapidly while emitting a barrage of "ha", "hoo", and "hmm" soundbites.
"explore the unknown"? mary, it's new york city, this is at least your third time here, and the last time you were here you got mad at your taxi driver for using a gps
Dem Party: We are spending $20M to figure out how to talk to male voters.
Mamdani: Save your money. I have +45 favorability with male voters & +73 with men under 45. Endorse me.
Dem Party: No way dude. Now—why is our favorability is -54? Let's spend $20M on wealthy consultants to figure it out!
"i asked grok" "i asked chatgpt" yeah well i asked carl sagan and he said the greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge 🧪
Every webcomic has two stories: the story the artist is telling and the meta story of watching an artist make creative choices over the course of many, many years. You get to watch art evolve and change in real time.
@kyssimmee.com ⋅ 2d
not to wax poetic about webcomics but I think one of the best things about webcomics is that reading them forces you to confront the fact that artists evolve and change over time, and that "style" is a necessarily evolving thing
what time is it? it's time for hasbro fan expo to reveal their "buy $$$$$ of stuff and get one of 200 handpainted-by-acrylics optimus primes" thingers, while every dipshit on the internet gets mad that their copy of optimus prime isn't also handpainted with acrylics, for free
Walmart.com was careful to cancel everyone's Sideways preorders today to remind us there's no point in preordering this one either
preternia@preternia.com ⋅ 3d
Transformers G1 Inspired Retro Card Seaspray official product photography .
Will be available as part of Walmart Collector Con starting July 24th, tracking all SDCC and Collector Con items here - bit.ly/3Sx9inR
Jeff Harris @nemalki.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
Farrukh @implausibleblog.bsky.social ⋅ 14h
Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
@kyssimmee.com ⋅ 2d
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
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🦕🧬
SDCC 1229
nooooooo not Other Jacob
…wait she wouldn’t have had that one to throw
unless Other Jacob is the secret identity of Nana’s Vibrator
Walky also subdues girls by throwing toys at them. Maybe he and Liz should compare techniques.
Compare techniques, or you know, compare robots.
“Your half-sister, Liz.”
— Head Alien in some universe, probably
Ah, yes, “”””Jacob”””.
Do air-quotes really need that much quotation marks?
I can’t put enough quotation marks around the word so I won’t try
tfw your air-quotes need air-quotes
Yes, when used “””in anger”””, the “””excessive””” application of “””air-quotes””” can prevent violence by keeping the hands “””occupied””” so they cannot “””throw””” punches. Myself, I am vibrating in “””rage””” at your “””abuse””” of them, since you did not properly “””close””” your “””air-quotes”””.
With each strip it becomes more clear why Sarah never talks about her family. This is becoming a whole damn conversation and who wants that?
To some degree, depends on the person. I’ve known people who are pretty open about their Complicated Family Issues, and apart from ‘my half-sister flirts with boys I like/am dating,’ most of what we currently know isn’t TOO complex, or particularly rare. (In that what we have confirmed is ‘parents split, Mom had subsequent relationship producing half-sibling, maybe Dad also had a subsequent relationship.’ By comparison, I had three maternal grandfathers and all of them had been married at least once aside from my grandmother, and had children from at least one other relationship. We’re in contact with people from every branch of the family. Explaining who’s who gets complicated fast.)
However, Sarah’s a pretty private person, so I 100% see her not wanting to talk about her family in general beyond ‘I have a (half-)sister and my parents divorced when I was really young.’ Even if it weren’t A Thing, you must be Friendship Level 7 to hear Sarah’s Deepest Family Lore.
Wait, forgot the Stepmoms comment already. To our knowledge, then, we have at least three relationships in play here among parents, most likely four. (Sarah and Liz’s Mom – Sarah’s Dad, Sarah and Liz’s Mom – Liz’s Dad, either Liz’s Dad or potentially depending on how close she was to Sarah growing up Sarah’s Dad – Stepmom. Possibly also Remaining Dad – Second Stepmom and/or Liz’s Dad – Stepmom 2.)
i have to believe Sirksome said “who wants that” in their Sarah-voice
The Stepmoms thing might only mean one stepmom because apparently using the plural when you mean the singular is a thing now. This hurts me but it does mean it could just be four parents: their Mom, Sarah’s Father, Liz’s Father and a Stepmom.
Impossible. I demand a complicated family tree with so many stepmothers that Dorothy makes a family tree and there is still a mystery stepmother where she can’t find where she fits, she’s just there.
It’s not a plural at all, it has the same s as in cutesy. Millions of Germans call their dad “Paps”.
Alright so Sarah’s family situation is significantly more complex than I had assumed.
The only thing difficult to understand is how Liz has survived this long.
Younger sisters have some innate power that allows them to survive their sibling’s wrath.
I know, right? First her grandmother, now her half-sister. The hell kinda gift-giving tradition is this?
If this was Joyce at the start of the semester, she would have short circuited five times by now.
…I mean, by the start of this semester she was basically where she is now, character-development-wise.
…at the start of last semester, though, yeah definitely. What you said.
Dumbing of Age Book 12: Throw a Vibrator At Her and Come Back in an Hour
Definitely the best potential book title so far.
I know it’s not following protocol, but it’s quoted so…
DoA Book 12: “Origin Story”
Possibly a better title for a collection of the Slipshine side stories.
Also, possibly a candidate for a Slipshine side story.
… I feel like you’re reciprocating the half-sister title with positive reinforcement, Liz.
I wonder if Sarah feels similarly about Liz to how Robin in Shortpacked felt about Roz.
Hey, masturbation is a great way to relieve stress and anger. It’s also recommended to do before you make decisions like “should I call my ex?” or “should I send my crush a picture?”
Make sure your downstairs isn’t doing the thinking for you.
Ohhh, yeah. Can we get an ‘AMEN’ on that?
By the way, when guys do that, it’s called “thinking with the little head instead of the big one.” Is there a comparable phrase for the ladies?
“Letting the beaver call the shots”?
Ooo, I like that one!
Thinking with the “tiny head” instead of the big one?
I mean, I like the beaver suggestion better, but damn it, democracy needs competition to stay healthy
I’ve heard ‘thinking with your legs’ but that’s kind of unisex
Though it is still kinda dickish to imply somebody’s only pissed off because they haven’t gotten off lately.
BONE?!?
ooooooh I could *hear* the multiple quotation marks in panel 3
…was thinking about the structure of Sarah’s and Liz’s family and it just hit me:
Sarah was originally created, in the 90s, to be “a dumping ground for all the traits [Willis] thought were mockable, just to prop up Joyce as having hidden wisdom, or something“. And her last name is “Clinton.”
Every time I think I find a Willis character whose name isn’t a joke…
In this case, I think that’s just an accidental correlation.
Huh. Guess I was wrong, then.
hm. i feel like this sucks. poor sarah.
Agreed. Poor Sarah.
Does turning the Vibrator on before throwing mean that her anger has escalated?
Oh, so THAT’S where Sarah got the idea to lock Joyce in their room with a sterilized hairbrush and a men’s fitness magazine.
So instead of asking people for their witnessing story or whatever that weird fundie thing is, she’s moved on to asking for people’s origin story.
Her shift from crazy religious to crazy nerd is complete.
Crazy nerd is much better than crazy religious.
Especially because there’s a growth arc which allows crazy nerd to turn the crazy nerd part on and *off* at a whim. Here’s looking at you, me!
You only say that because you haven’t seen the next step.
Sarah’s crankiness has no origin story, for it has existed since time immemorial.
When the Big Bang happened Sarah was there, being cranky. When the universe ends she will still be around, and still be cranky.
“Matter. hmph. It’ll never catch on.”
Crankiness is eternal, Sarah is just its current vessel.
I wonder what Mototo’s fan comic of this would look like
Give her an extra half-hour if the batteries are fresh……
Liz: “That’s her anger-detection system.” referring to Sarah saying “half-sister half-sister…”
How does that detect anger?
It’s how Liz detects Sarah’s anger, maybe? I agree that line is confusing.
Sarah calling her ‘half-sister’ helps Liz detect Sarah’s anger and know to give her a distraction and come back later.
I wonder if Joyce will be able to learn that technique and use it with Sarah (as everyone in her family seems to do) or she will stay stuck in talking to her and tackling problems one after another just using reasoning and understanding.
We might not have learned more about Sarah but we sure got the origin story of Other Jacob.
It should be renamed as The Wrath Slayer
Ah, but considering the phrases a vibrator, and (back in that arc) I think my Nana gave me this one, there is more than one Other Male Liz can be referring to.
(Also, I’ll take suggestions for best collective term rather thann Other Male–that’s just off the top of my head.)
Yeah, Other Jacob was a gift from her Nana, so this must be the origin story of a different vibrator Sarah has (or had).
Well it’s not necessarily a new vibrator every time Liz needs to distract her from her anger.
Sooo… two ways to take that last sentence, that I can think of:
1. Vibrator as a blunt object that is also kinda gross if it’s not your own, like flicking your boogers at someone.
2. More alike the nervous husband who, returning home on his wife’s period day, opens the door just enough to throw a big chocolate bar through. Waits patiently for her to devour it, and only comes inside once it’s safe.
“his wife’s period day”
…
_day_, … “Day”?! … I think I know why this husband is skittish at this time, if he thinks it’s only a day. Like, yeah, sure there are outliers, but that includes the other side, with some women where it can last a week (or more). And that’s just menstruation, not PMS + menstruation. Also, for dudes not in the know, a cycle is _typically_ ~28 days, but can vary a _lot_ between women, and for the same woman. Lastly, if he’s throwing chocolate at the ‘mysterious period monster’ his wife becomes, why the hell did she marry him? Dude seems to have no capacity to learn enough to be compassionate.
I know this is absolutely unrelated to the point you were making. I just… I’m not a woman, but there was just so much material here.
Also, throwing a vibrator at someone shouldn’t be gross. WASH your damn sex toys after you use them! people.
I mean, I don’t care how well someone’s washed it, if they throw their or anyone else’s vibrator at me, it’s gonna be gross.
If they threw one of *mine* I’d just perish in a bonfire of embarrassment and mortification…
Ex’s keep taking mine with them. Actually, that’d be a good ask reddit: when a couple separates, who gets the sex toys? Is it a thing that people only want to use new sex toys in a relationship? Because that sounds artificially hygenic (i.e., not really), and wasteful.
I’m pretty sure Liz means one of Sarah’s.
I was more reacting to “throwing a vibrator at someone shouldn’t be gross” as a blanket statement.
Fair enough. Still, I imagine fights flinging phalluses at the dildo factory would be pretty clean.
you’d think that
Okay, fair.
tbf, stealing boyfriends is also a thing full sisters do
No, it’s not. I mean it happens, and I think I see where you’re going here, but it’s not attributable to being sisters or female.
To expand the point, “Stealing” partners is a thing shitty people do, and shitty partners participate in. It’s also a thing people do to get away from shitty partners (“letting” themselves be “stolen”). But it’s definitely not the case that a dude (or gal or other) lacks agency when confronted by strange pussy (or dick or other). If your partner can be “stolen” there is something wrong with them, you, the relationship, or d) some/all of the above. So you’re better off apart at that point anyways.
What if… Liz is actually not nice?
Or a teenager, who has made mistakes. I see your point, and am cautiously alert, just not ready /quite/ yet, to file her in the round bin.
After listening to So many reddit stories the boyfriend thing is setting off so many alarms…
Liz: She only calls me half-sister when she’s in a bad mood.
Joyce: Wait – when is she NOT in a bad mood?
Liz: HA! Well… she DOES have a vibrator…
This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tennenbaum
I’m just going to say, if someone can “steal” your partner, they wasn’t yours to begin with.
It’s still shitty to do, even so.
It’s also a shitty thing to be a part of, (remember, whoever gets ‘stolen’ has agency).
Again, gonna add the flip side here: sometimes cheating with or on, is someone’s escape route from a shitty situation. I’ve known people who where terribly abused, but could not see it until someone else came along and showed them they were deserving of feeling loved and lovable again.
I think the ethics are a little bit different if it’s not safe to leave the relationship.
Oh agree 100%. Although if _safety_ is the issue, I’m hard pressed to see how cheating would make things safer, instead of just calling 911 and “ordering pizza”.
Well, for one, it not being safe to leave isn’t necessarily the same as ‘never relatively safe in the moment’ – one of the most dangerous moments is when you try to leave. For another, the ordering pizza thing is hardly air tight. A lot of 911 operators don’t know what it is or wtf you’d be talking about. It’s not a real thing they’re trained on. A lot will be able to figure it out, but other’s are just going to assume it’s a prank or a mistake and may hang up.
Fair enough. I have to second all this. I’m not female, and never been afraid of my partner like that. Whatever it takes to get out safely though, to whomever needs to do so, do it without guilt. And by that I don’t mean, “wait for a guilt free way” I mean “whatever it takes, and don’t feel guilty for looking out for yourself.”
“That’s why guys like me better, I’m the fun one” is not a very nice thing to say right in front of your half-sister.
I’ve a half-brother on my mother’s side. He’s 19 years younger than I am. The only time I ever refer to him as my half-brother is when I’m talking about our family situation. Other than that, I would never dream of doing what Sarah’s doing here. He’s my little brother! No matter how much of a brat he may be when he’s bored.
(I also have a “full-sister” and 2 “half-sisters” on my dad’s side- Same difference, tho the half sisters live in another continent.)
Hopefully your brother isn’t going around trying to steal your partners and saying he is more fun and therefore better liked. Because Liz be doing that to Sarah so it makes sense she’d want to reestablish distance from her when she basically brushes it off as not a big deal in the slightest and makes it more about how Sarah is cranky when it is something most people would be justifiably cranky about.
Seeing as he’s only 10, I’d be very worried if he was trying to steal my partners.
So…
Based on all the context clues,
Sarah and Liz’s mom:
Had at least one kid in a relationship.
Within one(point 5ish) year had another child with someone else.
And is now currently married to a woman (assuming that Liz is not from in vitro while their mom was with her current.)
I kinda want to know more about this woman.
She sounds interesting.
Wait, where did DoA say Sarah’s mom was married to a lady? I completely missed that detail.
Dont throw vibrators around. That is not an injury you want to explain to a doctor.
I missed the word “to” (or should I say “‘”‘”to?”‘”‘”) in the third panel. Nearly did a spit-take.
and a period after “thing”