Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Missing Monday
Elle Skinner
Two girls fall in love through a magic door connecting their worlds. When Monday suddenly goes missing, it's up to Foyle to find her. How she's going to navigate an entirely unfamiliar world is another matter.
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
The Last Diplomat
Cat Farris
Samma and Tark didn't ask to be stuck together, but now they're partners on the adventure of a lifetime.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Aquapunk
Lo
In an underwater world of unknown coordinates, inhabited by aliens, ghosts, and robots, a young member of a warrior underclass is framed for a crime and goes on the run. Little does he know he is part of a grand design that only gods and ancestors could choreograph.
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Sleepless Domain
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Ride or Die
Mars Heyward
Ride or Die is an LGBTQ webcomic about two street racers who team up with a demon-possessed muscle car in the search for a missing woman, while being hunted by a deadly religious cult.
Alexander, The Servant & The Water of Life
Reimena Yee
The 21st century retelling of the life and legends of Alexander the Great.
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG.
At least, he was, and that was the idea...
Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
The Substitutes
Myisha Haynes
What happens when three roommates accidentally acquire otherworldly and powerful magic weapons destined for someone else?
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
Within
Verena Loisel
A young hitman meanders between a reality that seems to happen without him, and his dreams where he is lost in an endless house. When he makes an accidental friend, his world is shaken up and he realizes there are things he can't remember about himself.
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
Gzhel Guardian
Atla Hrafney, nushanchel
The Railway World is a complex, mysterious network of trains, towns and mechanical monsters. Leo is a Guardian of one of these towns, and although their burn-out and depression has taken hold of them, they have one last job to finish.
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Scape
Lauren
Sula has always preferred to forge her own path, but before she knows it, she is pulled into the middle of a civil war between man and monster!
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
Goodbye to Halos
Valerie Halla
Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
The End
August Brown, Cory Brown
Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
The Forgotten Order
Christy
A young witch for whom every spell is a misfire finds solace and friendship in her new companion - a cursed doll.
Trying Human
IntroducingEmy
Two women separated by over half a century are brought together by an alien-filled conspiracy involving murder, mystery and romance!
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Quick$ilver
Crypto
The flirtatious, directionless, and ever disastrous Luci searches for excitement in a life of crime, and finds himself caught in a web of messy romance and bad blood.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Not Drunk Enough
Tess Stone
Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Kochab
Sarah Webb
A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Headless Bliss
Clover
A story about story-telling, and other metaphysical themes such as Nightmares! (Failed) Teamwork! Comedy! And more!
BOOKMARK Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
BUFFER WATCH
Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:
My college’s Biology department building – which was my major so I spent a lot of time there – had the shell of giant clam on display. It was beautiful in a tragic sort of way – up close you could see the marks on the exterior where it suffered cuts, these complex patterns of erosion and the calcified remains of coral that had grown on it. It was like a whole reef in miniature. It must have been so majestic when it was alive. I hope it wasn’t harvested for its shell and they just bought on someone found already dead.
ohhh that sounds magnificent.
Where Arlo Guthrie grew up, I saw a natural history museum that had a huge clamshell in it. Not as big and marvelous-sounding as the one you’re talking about, but I did wonder if it was THE CLAM that inspired the story-song of Reuben Clamso.
From an optional action in the somewhat well-known interactive fiction game I-0 (all these preceeded by “Though you spend as much time ” and followed by ” as the next girl, this may not be the right moment.”):
splittin’ the kitten
dialing zero
tickling the elmo
exploring South America
in single digits
ringing for service
drawing inside the lines
giving yourself the finger
diving into the deep end
taming the lion
playing solitaire
running in circles
stroking the tabby
(I used the TXD tool to extract these; pretty sure they’re selected randomly in-game.)
Rang your own bell
Light your own lamp
Waved your own banner
Swung your own gate
Popped your springs
Burned your bridge
Quacked your duck
Cooked your own goose
Splashed your dressing
I wonder why they changed it in the first place? And who thought that new logo was a good idea; I mean, somebody in that company HAD to have known, right?
lol i’m surprised she’d say that to joe even as like a euphemism, though be interesting to see joe/amber’s reaction if it was like “dorothy was in the room and we were holding hands til the last couple minutes”
She’s been less ashamed about private stuff with Joe than with other people. And her talk with Becky helped her with her shame response to horniness. Becky assured her sex didn’t make people wretched. It’s something she knew, but shame isn’t about knowing facts, it’s the emotional response. And that’s what was holding her back. Dorothy didn’t tell/show her anything she couldn’t have gotten elsewhere. Elsewheres that don’t pose a risk of increasing her shame reflex.
even if you’re able to casually talk it about a friend, i def wouldn’t say it to someone i was interested in or vice versa since it might def be awkward/prolly end up sending unintentional signals or so. Or def more of a power dynamic thing since joyce said she rarely had the ‘upper hand’ or whatever ,so letting someone know she was affected enough by them to need to ‘relieve’ herself would def be something they don’t want to give someone as ammo
Never realized that there were that many euphemisms out there for female masturbation. The only two I knew of were ‘jilling off’ and ‘playing the slots’.
I just today heard the SNL sketch from January where Aubrey Plaza asked “Is it a crime to want a man who can eat a plum to completion?” in a film noir parody and I may never recover.
I’ve never eaten a plum that didn’t have an absolutely disgusting texture, no matter how ripe and perfect I was assured it was by the nearest Person Who Knows About Plums.
In other words, the exact opposite of performing oral. Maybe other people’s plums were actually edible, but the euphemism haunts me.
In retrospect, if you want to keep X secret, It would be better to not euphemismicly disclose that you’ve done X, secure in the knowledge that no one will figure out the euphemism, to people who know far more about X than you and have been euphemisming that they’ve been doing X for thousands of times longer than you have.
So far, Asher’s been pretty good at keeping “possible accessory to murder” secret, but also, I don’t know if anyone in the cast actively cares about solving Blaine’s murder, because it’s Blaine.
I don’t know if anyone has called it yet, but I think Joe is going to have performance anxiety. He is attracted to her physically, but he hasn’t actually be a tower of libido towards her since he before he fell for her. Maybe I’m just projecting an episode of Taxi onto them, but I can imagine her emotional and physical attraction to him being synched up more than his.
This should all be very encouraging for Joe. Id be encouraged. And also take it a challenge. ‘oh, you hadta’ bulwark’ yourself against my ‘charms’ eh? Oh no I seem to have dropped my pencil over here, how clumsy, oh no it’s rolled under there. Ah good got it, just gotta streeeetch that out now mm yea’
I would argue that every successive euphemism used in short succession is worse than the last due to the stringing together, independent of the euphemism’s own merits, and thus a fifth euphemism is by definition very upsetting.
…Okay, but that’s got to be an intentional spoof, right? Like when everyone was saying there was an episode of the seventies UK kids’ show Rainbow that had them all talking about “plucking their twangers” and “playing with a friend’s balls”, and it turned out they’d actually done it for an ITV Christmas party and it was never intended for broadcast in any timeslot. It’s like that, right?
This was in the 1950s and yes, it was an actual part of the broadcast. Most likely it was an inside joke with the production crew, but Froggy used to appear with a prominent “boing-ng” sound effect. A cool bit for the kids, and no doubt a fun wink-wink to the parents dropping in to see wgat was on TV.
Idk mang, being a female with innie reproductive organs and everything, I don’t personally think I’ve felt uninterested in sex after using the target self checkout. I can’t genuinely imagine it being a bulwark against finding someone attractive, indeed at least as far as I’m aware it tends to make everyone a lot -more- attractive. Like, you’ve stimulated one area yes, but what about another? Things happened on a place, what about in a place? And vice versa.
Yeah, I don’t follow the logic either.
Also, according to science (or at least Sexplanations), Jilling off regularly makes sex with a partner feel better. So yeah, both Dorothy and Joyce thinking an orgasm would make Joyce less likely to fuck Joe means that neither of them did their research because the exact opposite is true.
Dorothy is not as knowledgeable as she thinks, and sometimes she accidentally misinforms people or gives them bad advice. Dumbing of Age includes Dorothy.
This means nothing of how the narrative will turn out, but it’s been entertaining to watch Joe and Joyce have an approximate dynamic I know has lead into around 10 years of what’s evolved to biguys marriage (transition).
I would also like the share that the Japanese word for masturbation (自慰) literally translates as ‘self consolation’
Well one of the words. As you may well imagine, there are several.
Dumbing of Age book 13: For even though you are a 6’3″ man-shaped tower of libido, I have performed an elaborate procedure to bulwark me against your charms
so i'm thinking, okay, i took some extra photos of this set of doors this year so i could draw some other angles, it's an important set of doors, so let's pull up my new reference photos...
....and do you see a problem, do you see an issue
Well, Lizard is here, and I've been telling myself for... years that I'd take down my Endgame shelf and put up Spider-Man:No Way Home once the final villain was out.
So.
That's a thing I gotta do.
okay okay -- spider-man reboot idea
the lizard is still dr connors, but he's dr PHIL connors, and he wakes up every day and it's groundhog day and he's a lizard
is this anything
Sean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Rolling Stone @rollingstone.com ⋅ 1d
Dana Simpson 
Loading ...
Barb O. Saur 
⚧️
…we’re BOTH makin’ up words now, right?
Joyce (thinking): …do I want clarification about poking the Palpatine??
Or palpatine the Pokemon…
Palpating the pokemon.
My favorite so far.
dang this is a good storyline for faces
Panel 5!
The face beneath the hood. Yo know, Palpatine.
OMG
Thank you. I was having a hard time figuring out that one too.
And playing with the dark side of the force.
Just gonna say most women look a hell of a lot better under their hoods than Palpatine did in the silly Ewoks movie.
Well, Palpatine usually DID wear a hood over his bald head…
I have to say it every time I see past strips: it’s insane how much the art has evolved over a decade!
Changed your own oil.
Tickled your clam.
Did laundry.
Spin Cycle!
Paddled her own canoe
Touched your tralala
hmmm, her ding ding dong
Flicked your bean
She bop.
ringed her be-e-ell,
ringed her bell
An hour in bed on TikTok
Twanged her own banjo
Don’t tickle clams, they beautiful and majestic creatures of the sea. Some can live over four centuries.
And when they get to be that old, they get to be big. I mean real big. I mean humongous!
Humongous, giant clams.
My college’s Biology department building – which was my major so I spent a lot of time there – had the shell of giant clam on display. It was beautiful in a tragic sort of way – up close you could see the marks on the exterior where it suffered cuts, these complex patterns of erosion and the calcified remains of coral that had grown on it. It was like a whole reef in miniature. It must have been so majestic when it was alive. I hope it wasn’t harvested for its shell and they just bought on someone found already dead.
ohhh that sounds magnificent.
Where Arlo Guthrie grew up, I saw a natural history museum that had a huge clamshell in it. Not as big and marvelous-sounding as the one you’re talking about, but I did wonder if it was THE CLAM that inspired the story-song of Reuben Clamso.
Arlo Guthrie for the win!
Mysteried your Science Theatre 3000 times
ok this one got me XD
Acted with integrity.
Tickled the pickle.
Danced with death (hood +/or petit mort)
Mortified the flesh.
Whipped the batter to a froth.
Washed the marble.
Sailed the tide.
Churned the butter.
Beat the carpet.
Drove stick solo.
Sewed the button.
Made the soup and stirred the pot.
Washed the purse.
Put a penny in the purse.
Put a penny in the purse and won the jackpot.
Conversed with oneself.
Sewed the seam.
Played pirate.
Parallel parked the speedboat.
Shelled the peas.
Captained the ship.
Dug up the potato.
Picked the mushroom.
Picked the pocket.
Picked the pickle.
Pickled the onion.
From an optional action in the somewhat well-known interactive fiction game I-0 (all these preceeded by “Though you spend as much time ” and followed by ” as the next girl, this may not be the right moment.”):
splittin’ the kitten
dialing zero
tickling the elmo
exploring South America
in single digits
ringing for service
drawing inside the lines
giving yourself the finger
diving into the deep end
taming the lion
playing solitaire
running in circles
stroking the tabby
(I used the TXD tool to extract these; pretty sure they’re selected randomly in-game.)
(Courtesy of Frank Loesser)
Rang your own bell
Light your own lamp
Waved your own banner
Swung your own gate
Popped your springs
Burned your bridge
Quacked your duck
Cooked your own goose
Splashed your dressing
Is that what you kids are callin’ it these days? Back in my day we did it through two feet o’ snow uphill both ways.
But you still did it, because by god, it was the right thing to do, and every true ‘Murrican were willing to make this sacrifice for God and Country!
Walmart logo? Pika pika?
Also, LOL
Dumbing of Age Book 13: Because the Walmart Logo Looks Like an Anus
now available at Walmart!
I LOLed at this one, just not very loud.
Fully prepared for Joe to be having A Moment at the mental imagery.
Poking your Palpatine sounds like an unnecessary euphemism for charging your cell phone. UNLIMITED POWER!!!
Amber is the BEST sister but holy shit. Panel 4 made me involuntarily horror shudder.
Amber is Great
Re: alt text, you can’t just say that and not share. Commit to the bit! Apologize to your wife later :p
Seconded!
At least give a confirmation if somebody guesses it.
Third!
give us the horror
fourthed?
fifth!
I also want to know what this euphemism was.
Maggie knows best. Or at least that would be my bet.
Sometimes it’s more fun to leave something as a mystery.
especially if the mystery is just gonna make everyone go ew
i’m fin with that sort of mystery
I AM DYING TO KNOW. UPSET ME!
The world needs to know
The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be…unnatural
Ironic. He could save others from [little] death, but not himself.
I’m sorry.
Joyce, you could have said the entirety of panel 2 *inside* your head
But then, I suppose, you would not be Joyce
To borrow a line from Lovage, you stroked that furry coat. XD
Wow, i hadn’t thought of Lovage in a minute XD
Good wholesome fun.
Bulwark
You know what they say: if it warks like a bull,
And Maggie’s usually right about the upsetting stuff. Hi Maggie!
By Request: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNUX82Pcz6Q
You know now that she mentions it the Walmart symbol does look like that….I miss the smiley faces.
I wonder why they changed it in the first place? And who thought that new logo was a good idea; I mean, somebody in that company HAD to have known, right?
Welp guess I’m never looking at the Walmart logo again for the rest of my life without thinking about that and laughing
Save money. Live better. *
Wow, Joyce has been going at it enough to develop an elaborate procedure in so short a time.
Today’s Reddit post, Mystery Twin: https://www.reddit.com/r/dumbingofage/comments/11sjlw3/dumbing_of_age_headcannon_despite_not_much_being/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
And this is day 6 of the Greatest Rivals Poll:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dumbingofage/comments/11ob9xb/greatest_nemesis_type_rivalry_in_doa/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Check out the Yellow Pages. Let your fingers do the walking.
That is such a 20th century reference.
Well, I do turn 59 in a week and a half.
I doubt she’s gotten to the Target Self-Checkout.
Probably more at the… Dover “Bulls “Eye Care.
There are not a lot of oval logos.
There’s got to be some mom-and-pop florists who have orchid logos. Mom-and-Pop situations are less of a solo thing though.
you’d be surprised.
There’s a place called the red orchid theater.
Feels oddly appropriate given the subject and her choice of venue.
And the Target logo DOESN’T look like an anus????
It looks more like a nipple, I suppose.
It looks like a Lyme infection.
If your anus looks like the Target logo you should seek medical attention
Take my imaginary upvote!
I really like Amber and Joyce’s dynamic here and hope we get a lot more of it
I’ve been enjoying all the arcs as of late but have admittedly missed Amber’s presence for much of it!
…What was the other euphemism
Danced by herself? Rode the Magic Wand? Tickled the kitty? “Performed an elaborate procedure” is a good euphemism too, I have to admit.
Rang the devil’s doorbell, dingdongditched, scratched the evil itch, polished the pearl, went clamdiving, oscar’s her grouch….
nobody on this planet says “poked Palpatine” as an euphemism for masturbation, I’ll eat my fucking hat if anyone does.
Amber does. There is a picture of her saying it on this very page.
Amber is not a real person
Okay, fine, Willis does. (Or did, in this one comic.)
Anyway, silliness aside, looks like Willis indeed had Amber make up a new euphemism.
I have no faith in this “Target Self-Checkout” thing either.
I can at least get the logic of target self checkout. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around “poked your Palpatine”…
I didn’t get it either, til Stu pointed out that Palpatine is a bald man who wears a hood.
alt text makes me wonder what the others were if there was something more ‘uspetting’ than poked palpatine lol
I am now
“eating ones own hat”
I can’t think of anything less conducive to masturbation than an Emperor analogy
Joke’s on you though Joyce, once (or twice) is never enough
Snrrk, very nice, very nice.
lol i’m surprised she’d say that to joe even as like a euphemism, though be interesting to see joe/amber’s reaction if it was like “dorothy was in the room and we were holding hands til the last couple minutes”
She’s been less ashamed about private stuff with Joe than with other people. And her talk with Becky helped her with her shame response to horniness. Becky assured her sex didn’t make people wretched. It’s something she knew, but shame isn’t about knowing facts, it’s the emotional response. And that’s what was holding her back. Dorothy didn’t tell/show her anything she couldn’t have gotten elsewhere. Elsewheres that don’t pose a risk of increasing her shame reflex.
even if you’re able to casually talk it about a friend, i def wouldn’t say it to someone i was interested in or vice versa since it might def be awkward/prolly end up sending unintentional signals or so. Or def more of a power dynamic thing since joyce said she rarely had the ‘upper hand’ or whatever ,so letting someone know she was affected enough by them to need to ‘relieve’ herself would def be something they don’t want to give someone as ammo
Hot damn I could listen to Amber list these off all day I’m cracking the hell up over here
She’s got a million of them.
I’m sure of it too! Ammo for days.
Never realized that there were that many euphemisms out there for female masturbation. The only two I knew of were ‘jilling off’ and ‘playing the slots’.
Anything can be a euphemism for anything given the right context and intonation.
“The Secretary General of the United Nations.”
“Nice.”
Maybe, but Dave’s “Act with integrity” is hard to beat in context.
I just today heard the SNL sketch from January where Aubrey Plaza asked “Is it a crime to want a man who can eat a plum to completion?” in a film noir parody and I may never recover.
I’ve never eaten a plum that didn’t have an absolutely disgusting texture, no matter how ripe and perfect I was assured it was by the nearest Person Who Knows About Plums.
In other words, the exact opposite of performing oral. Maybe other people’s plums were actually edible, but the euphemism haunts me.
So, she admits he has charms. And that she cranked it before this encounter specifically to mitigate how bad she wants his body.
yeah, only a matter of time before they knock boots for real. wonder if the next slipshine will come out same time as last year…
…It DOES look like that. Huh.
In retrospect, if you want to keep X secret, It would be better to not euphemismicly disclose that you’ve done X, secure in the knowledge that no one will figure out the euphemism, to people who know far more about X than you and have been euphemisming that they’ve been doing X for thousands of times longer than you have.
Is there anyone in this comic who is any good at actually keeping secrets? (Dina, maybe.)
So far, Asher’s been pretty good at keeping “possible accessory to murder” secret, but also, I don’t know if anyone in the cast actively cares about solving Blaine’s murder, because it’s Blaine.
“Flick the Bean”
Is also a good one.
ooo love that one.
How about “operate my coin slot”? XD
“Who’s flickling Leslie?’
Not Robin!
Oh you mean @LeslieBean4shizzle too me almost a whole day to get what you meant.
I don’t know if anyone has called it yet, but I think Joe is going to have performance anxiety. He is attracted to her physically, but he hasn’t actually be a tower of libido towards her since he before he fell for her. Maybe I’m just projecting an episode of Taxi onto them, but I can imagine her emotional and physical attraction to him being synched up more than his.
ugh, multiple typos. “Louie and the Nice Girl” is the episode I’m thinking of.
Here for the Taxi reference.
The Target self check out. As a former Target employee, that took me out hahaha
My local Target doesn’t have self check out
Amber is occasionally tough for me, but dang if I am not 100% fully on board with Amber and Joyce being friends.
Don’t mind Joe, he’s just screaming internally
Sailors call it aqua dementia, the deep-down crazies, the wet willies, the screaming moist!
WELP I’ll never unsee that: now going to Walmart is gonna be REALLY WEIRD.
Sheesh, with all the euphemisms that’s churned out, this feels like a round of— JOE’S 6’3″?!
Is a laid-back Joyce really an obvious sign that she… blasted the Baja?
So bets on if Joyce is lying about knowing all those euphemisms or if she’s telling the truth?
I think she had put the context together, but didn’t really understand each individual euphemism.
Yeah, you don’t really have to have known all the euphemisms up front to recognize them when you hear them.
Especially when it’s in reference to one you just used.
Amber, all I gotta say is “E Pluribus Anus”.
Now I’m picturing Dean Pelton as a Walmart greeter…
This should all be very encouraging for Joe. Id be encouraged. And also take it a challenge. ‘oh, you hadta’ bulwark’ yourself against my ‘charms’ eh? Oh no I seem to have dropped my pencil over here, how clumsy, oh no it’s rolled under there. Ah good got it, just gotta streeeetch that out now mm yea’
Panel 4 is my new favorite Amber face.
What a glorious day
I learned so many new euphemisms today… from the comic and the comments!
But seriously!
Poking your Palpatine? rofl
Yeah, if I was a girl, I’d cringe at the thought of calling it my Palpatine. XD
…
Amber will replace Mike and will chaperone Joyce, won’t she?
Maybe reverse chaperone
Also Amber’s said she’s 5’3″ in one strip, so Joe is a whole foot taller than his sister.
Some good titles!
“Man-shaped tower of libido”
“I have performed an elaborate procedure to bulwark me against your charms”
I wonder how Joe feels about this conversation
Okay let’s roll the Gravatar roulette one more time
I still miss Mike from time to time, but on the other hand his loss is allowing new great things into DoA, like this delicious Amber 2.0.
the hubris of panel 2, tho
Can we adapt the term “quantum of solace” to Joyce’s situation?
I don’t think describing someone as a 6’3 man-shaped tower of libido sounds like your desires are very bulwarked, joyce
poorly concealed, maybe
I’m the most clueless dude on the planet, and even I would have picked up on that
She cast her body into the cragged shame pits of the lustwolves.
Can Joe, being Joe, hear this?
If paddling your canoe was the solution, was Joe the core problem?
She caught the gyrados?
I think that’s moved into euphemisms for phallic stuff. Rather than hand shandy.
Amie’ed the Cloyster.
More like the Cloyster…
Hang on I gotta google something real quick…
Yeah, cloyster is way better
I’m just dying to see Joe’s reaction to hearing that Joyce is definitely so attracted to him she had to masturbate before seeing him
Does no one say “pet the kitten” anymore?
I haven’t heard that one in ages.
so what’s dorothy up to
Willis can you tell us the “upsetting” one in the comments?
Don’t leave us hanging
I think that’s exactly Willis’ style, though. Expect to be left hanging, ha.
I would argue that every successive euphemism used in short succession is worse than the last due to the stringing together, independent of the euphemism’s own merits, and thus a fifth euphemism is by definition very upsetting.
“walk to biology together”
Oh, so that’s what the kids are calling it these days?
“take the scenic route”
Oh, you want to dress up? Kinky.
There’s a 1950s kiddie TV show reference that also sorks well:
“Plunk Your Magic Twanger, Froggy!” (Google it)
As for the rest, there is a massive Walmart here in Williamsburg Va, and I am never going to un-see that. Thanks Amber.
…Okay, but that’s got to be an intentional spoof, right? Like when everyone was saying there was an episode of the seventies UK kids’ show Rainbow that had them all talking about “plucking their twangers” and “playing with a friend’s balls”, and it turned out they’d actually done it for an ITV Christmas party and it was never intended for broadcast in any timeslot. It’s like that, right?
Right?
This was in the 1950s and yes, it was an actual part of the broadcast. Most likely it was an inside joke with the production crew, but Froggy used to appear with a prominent “boing-ng” sound effect. A cool bit for the kids, and no doubt a fun wink-wink to the parents dropping in to see wgat was on TV.
Google “Andy’s Gang” and watch an archival video.
To paraphrase Turk Turkleton “Are you talking about … downtown Joyce Brown?”
Given how frustrating using the non-metaphorical version can be, any sex euphemism involving the phrase “self checkout” is a buzzkill.
Idk mang, being a female with innie reproductive organs and everything, I don’t personally think I’ve felt uninterested in sex after using the target self checkout. I can’t genuinely imagine it being a bulwark against finding someone attractive, indeed at least as far as I’m aware it tends to make everyone a lot -more- attractive. Like, you’ve stimulated one area yes, but what about another? Things happened on a place, what about in a place? And vice versa.
Yeah, I don’t follow the logic either.
Also, according to science (or at least Sexplanations), Jilling off regularly makes sex with a partner feel better. So yeah, both Dorothy and Joyce thinking an orgasm would make Joyce less likely to fuck Joe means that neither of them did their research because the exact opposite is true.
Dorothy is not as knowledgeable as she thinks, and sometimes she accidentally misinforms people or gives them bad advice. Dumbing of Age includes Dorothy.
This means nothing of how the narrative will turn out, but it’s been entertaining to watch Joe and Joyce have an approximate dynamic I know has lead into around 10 years of what’s evolved to biguys marriage (transition).
I would also like the share that the Japanese word for masturbation (自慰) literally translates as ‘self consolation’
Well one of the words. As you may well imagine, there are several.
oh hey im finally caught up after 11 days straight of mainlining this comic
so glad to be here for joyce trying to avoid talking about jacking off
I’m a little late, but welcome!
She buttered her muffin.
*Sees a new comic well before 10pm*
Shit, did Daylight Savings Time happen?
Sincerely,
an Arizonan
Dumbing of Age book 13: For even though you are a 6’3″ man-shaped tower of libido, I have performed an elaborate procedure to bulwark me against your charms
Or, alternatively: you poked your palpatine