Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 24, 2026

Slide

by David M Willis on December 2, 2023 at 12:01 am
  • 02 – It's The Love I Haven't Got
└ Tags: joe, joyce

Discussion (99) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 2, 2023 at 12:05 am | #

    Joey Mallone: “Looks like some kind of torture device.”

    • Nick Piers
      Nick Piers
      December 2, 2023 at 12:08 am | #

      Never thought I’d see a reference to the Blackwell games on here. Well done.

  2. Golden Yak
    Golden Yak
    December 2, 2023 at 12:06 am | #

    Bullet dodged, I guess.

  3. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    December 2, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      December 2, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

      Where I stop, and I turn, and I go for a ride

    • CrazyJ
      CrazyJ
      December 2, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

      Helter Skelter was apparently a fairground slide built around a tower.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        December 2, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

        I can’t believe Charles Manson lied to me

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          December 2, 2023 at 4:10 am | #

          I can’t believe he co-wrote a Beach Boys song.

      • PirateTawnee
        PirateTawnee
        December 2, 2023 at 2:41 am | #

        Still are, and you can hire ones here in the UK for as little as £1500.

        Fine, or get a metric buttload of McNuggets if you prefer.

  4. EpochFlame
    EpochFlame
    December 2, 2023 at 12:07 am | #

    joe performs a flirt

    • clif
      clif
      December 2, 2023 at 12:40 am | #

      Not effectively. Now is the time to ask Joyce if she is ticklish.

      • James
        James
        December 2, 2023 at 12:48 am | #

        That’s not flirting, that’s a declaration of war.

      • Dara
        Dara
        December 2, 2023 at 1:04 am | #

        Or zurber. Could be zurber time.

      • NGPZ
        NGPZ
        December 2, 2023 at 3:49 am | #

        Is there a conspiracy here to melt me or something aaaaaaaaah 😳🫠

  5. Cholma
    Cholma
    December 2, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    Joyce, maybe you should start with old fashioned, sitting-on-the-floor situps?

    • anon
      anon
      December 2, 2023 at 12:18 am | #

      i imagine she wanted to try out smoe of hte equipment but maybe she could do jump ropes or so if they have it

    • Amelie Wikström
      Amelie Wikström
      December 2, 2023 at 12:25 am | #

      Or easy mode, elevated situps?

    • Bash
      Bash
      December 2, 2023 at 2:10 am | #

      This does seem way too extreme for someone not used to working out.

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        December 2, 2023 at 6:11 am | #

        Yeah, I don’t want to interrupt Joe in the middle of a wholesome flirt but he knows this. But it’s cute to see him do this.

  6. ian livs
    ian livs
    December 2, 2023 at 12:09 am | #

    I don’t blame her–those things always terrified me

  7. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    December 2, 2023 at 12:11 am | #

    adorbable. the slope is adjustable though right?

    • Ryan
      Ryan
      December 2, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

      It is. Currently set to K2 mode.

      • clif
        clif
        December 2, 2023 at 12:41 am | #

        What is K2 mode?

        • vlademir1
          vlademir1
          December 2, 2023 at 12:54 am | #

          I presume he means K2 here as in the second tallest mountain on Earth. That angle is steeper than I’ve ever seen one rated to be safely used at, and normally rather than a steeper incline beyond maybe 25 to 30 degrees you just add weight to the movement.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          December 2, 2023 at 2:59 am | #

          Joyce is using dangerous recreational drugs.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      December 2, 2023 at 8:38 pm | #

      Not that I’m aware of, this is a Roman Chair, as one commenter put it an instrument of torture.

  8. shrub
    shrub
    December 2, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

    Thats the worst thing that’s ever happened to Joyce?

    It’s quite fun if, in that situation, you sit up and throw a quick left-right combination

    Well fun might be stretching it a bit…

  9. True Survivor
    True Survivor
    December 2, 2023 at 12:12 am | #

    “Was never a slide?!” Such paucity of imagination, Joe. Where is your vision, your wonder? God, it’s a good thing your handsome.

    • anon
      anon
      December 2, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      they need to find an adult theme park to play around in if not just like an indoor rock climbing thing if she might have with that

      • morleuca
        morleuca
        December 2, 2023 at 12:37 am | #

        I thought “adult theme park” was the name of Joe’s dorm room

        • David DeLaney
          David DeLaney
          December 2, 2023 at 8:49 am | #

          definitely an E-ticket

          –Dave, Joe: Earth girls / Earth girls are ea-sy

  10. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 2, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

    Adorkable

  11. BBCC
    BBCC
    December 2, 2023 at 12:13 am | #

    Yeah, I have no clue how the fuck I’d get down either.

    • anon
      anon
      December 2, 2023 at 12:17 am | #

      well i imagine you’d need a partner to help out but yeah i imagine itd be hard to descend on ur own

      • clif
        clif
        December 2, 2023 at 12:44 am | #

        Simplicity itself. You just release your legs from where they are hooked and fall on your head.

        I said it was simple; I didn’t say it was a good idea.

        • Dara
          Dara
          December 2, 2023 at 1:07 am | #

          Due to reasons my girlfriend-now-wife was on a pony (so was I) and she was not enjoying it at all and asked how do you get off and I said “fall” and then she did?! but fortunately not far and to this day I’m all NOT LITERALLY in my head every time I remember it xD

        • Mark
          Mark
          December 2, 2023 at 8:52 am | #

          Well, I figure you’d slide down the backrest rather than falling, but you’d still hit your head at the bottom. Not too bad, but not exactly good either.

    • CallynD
      CallynD
      December 2, 2023 at 1:07 am | #

      It’s not that high. Take your legs out and you can get down. If you’re worried about your head, put your arms behind you first.

    • Shade
      Shade
      December 2, 2023 at 6:54 am | #

      You can prop yourself with your arms and unhook your legs by the looks of it. I’ve never tried it but looks like it’d be simple enough, well for someone in shape.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      December 2, 2023 at 9:51 am | #

      First, you sit up and then grab the top so you can unhook your legs.

      Oh wait, I see the problem.

  12. John Campbell
    John Campbell
    December 2, 2023 at 12:16 am | #

    Yes, exercising is definitely worse than being kidnapped by a murderous supervillain.

    • clif
      clif
      December 2, 2023 at 12:37 am | #

      What you said, but without the sarcasm.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      December 2, 2023 at 12:39 am | #

      He wasn’t even super, either
      Just embarrassing really

      • clif
        clif
        December 2, 2023 at 12:48 am | #

        i`m not really clear on just who was embarrassed though.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          December 2, 2023 at 2:02 am | #

          Getting killed by Blaine O’Malley is pretty embarrassing, honestly. Ross really coulda made some better choices in life, maybe ones that didn’t result in such a stupid death.

          • HueSatLight
            HueSatLight
            December 2, 2023 at 2:11 pm | #

            could be worse. could have tried to tackle Blaine off of a building and fail to hold onto him.

            • bemisawa
              bemisawa
              December 2, 2023 at 11:46 pm | #

              As much as I appreciate dunking on Mike’s single most redeeming moment (because let’s be honest here, it’s probably what he would’ve wanted), I imagine going from a jump-tackle to a grab mid-jump seems legitimately difficult. Even just holding on. Mike seemed like he was attractive, but I don’t recall him actually exercising particularly.

  13. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    December 2, 2023 at 12:20 am | #

    Could be worse, she could have fallen out of her top while all the blood rushing to her head knocks her unconscious.
    On the scale of hilarious bungling this is perfectly reasonable buffoonery.

  14. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    December 2, 2023 at 12:21 am | #

    It could be worse, Joyce, your shirt’s not ending up over your head.

    • clif
      clif
      December 2, 2023 at 12:34 am | #

      Yet.

    • John Campbell
      John Campbell
      December 2, 2023 at 1:30 am | #

      That wouldn’t be so bad. it might get Dorothy’s attention back where it belongs.

  15. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    December 2, 2023 at 12:27 am | #

    Could maybe take your glasses off while working out.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      December 2, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

      She’s trapped there, she belongs to the exercise equipment now.

      • clif
        clif
        December 2, 2023 at 12:35 am | #

        Nice callback.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        December 2, 2023 at 12:35 am | #

        “IN THE [Exercise Equipment]! PART OF THE [Exercise Equipment]!”

        (The all caps part is the voice clip from that Adventure Time episode with the chanting animals. The part in brackets is meant to be a generic, flat-inflection overdub of the words in a bland male voice)

        • JR
          JR
          December 2, 2023 at 2:31 am | #

          IN THE [Mr. Black]! PART OF THE [Mr. Black]!

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            December 2, 2023 at 2:48 am | #

            exactly

  16. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    December 2, 2023 at 12:28 am | #

    I just had to look up the song “Everybody’s Girl” from STEEL PIER. 😐

  17. Taffy
    Taffy
    December 2, 2023 at 12:29 am | #

    Okay but that position though?

  18. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 2, 2023 at 12:49 am | #

    Jokes on you. I find both of those options hot.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      December 2, 2023 at 1:31 am | #

      She’s reminiscing about their first date.

      • cain
        cain
        December 2, 2023 at 3:44 am | #

        surprised i had to scroll so far for someone to mention that first punch lol

    • Nono
      Nono
      December 2, 2023 at 1:46 am | #

      It’s really more of a Jennifer/Ruth thing.

    • clif
      clif
      December 2, 2023 at 2:11 am | #

      For some reason I just now noticed the “Who’s better at spotting Jacob? ” poll. As I type this “I harbor perverse sexual lust” is winning with 41٪ of the vote. Fair, because who doesn’t, but it doesn’t seem quite relevant.

      • Mark
        Mark
        December 2, 2023 at 8:56 am | #

        It’s clearly the “I don’t care about the question but I wanna vote for something” choice.

        • bemisawa
          bemisawa
          December 2, 2023 at 11:41 pm | #

          See, for me, it was the “this option is much funnier than the actual answers” choice.

  19. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    December 2, 2023 at 12:50 am | #

    Sitting up once would be impressive. But sitting up twice? That’s something you should tell everyone about.

    … you know, like a sit rep.

    • Mym
      Mym
      December 2, 2023 at 12:58 am | #

      Punch him in the face twice

    • Mark
      Mark
      December 2, 2023 at 8:57 am | #

      Soooo bad! 🙂

  20. Max
    Max
    December 2, 2023 at 1:57 am | #

    She does have experience with that. It was through a proxy, but she’s well versed in punching him in the face.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      December 2, 2023 at 2:17 am | #

      No, she was punching him by the end of the date. too.

  21. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    December 2, 2023 at 2:13 am | #

    Maybe I should make a DoA board game… “Slips and Slides”

  22. Suet
    Suet
    December 2, 2023 at 2:45 am | #

    There goes building up her core strength

    Will this relationship take a slide after this?

  23. TulipKitten
    TulipKitten
    December 2, 2023 at 2:56 am | #

    Mike would have been proud.

  24. Holly
    Holly
    December 2, 2023 at 6:16 am | #

    Anti-grav glasses!

  25. milu
    milu
    December 2, 2023 at 6:25 am | #

    Somehow im on a roll with nonsense.

    Please use your finger to diddle the following red words to peruse Part 8 of Make Love Not War~ (NSFW), an exclusive, if apocryphal, Space Captain Julia Gray (and her trusted BFF President Doris Keener) sexy caper. If on laptop, you may also need to click on the red words.

    The actual banging is about to start, probably 🍑

    • Amós Batista
      Amós Batista
      December 2, 2023 at 8:59 am | #

      The anatomy here is perfect.

      • milu
        milu
        December 2, 2023 at 9:26 am | #

        i did my research 😇

    • Mark
      Mark
      December 2, 2023 at 9:06 am | #

      People on Facebook are always inviting me to touch something on a post, and I always want to reply, “okay, I touched this 27″ monitor — was something supposed to happen?”

      • milu
        milu
        December 2, 2023 at 9:27 am | #

        that’s fair. if on desktop use the clicker thing too.

    • Dante
      Dante
      December 2, 2023 at 11:01 am | #

      Milu, I think I haven’t told you before, but I’m VERY enjoying this fine piece of literature/art combo ♥

      • milu
        milu
        December 2, 2023 at 11:40 am | #

        awwww thank you!!! that means a lot, truly 🥰

  26. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    December 2, 2023 at 6:40 am | #

    Aw, isn’t that sweet, Joyce wants to recreate their first date.

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      December 2, 2023 at 6:40 am | #

      Oh, hey, it turns out someone already made that connection…

  27. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    December 2, 2023 at 7:50 am | #

    Also, nice touch with Joyce’s glasses slowly slipping off. Mine would be on the floor almost immediately, but I guess hers fit better.

  28. S.R.
    S.R.
    December 2, 2023 at 7:52 am | #

    That looks like the sort of thing you have to work up to in order to be able to both do it and not strain something, if your baseline is 0 exercise.

  29. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    December 2, 2023 at 8:13 am | #

    After 10 minutes, outside gym, Joyce: “He j-just t-t-ouch m-my legs. And even my tights” 😮😳

  30. thumb
    thumb
    December 2, 2023 at 9:10 am | #

    “The worst thing that has ever happened to me” she says after multiple assaults, a kidnapping, and the loss of several people in her life.

    Exaggeration? Never met her.

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      December 2, 2023 at 2:14 pm | #

      also, some of her food touched before.

  31. Jahu
    Jahu
    December 2, 2023 at 10:28 am | #

    OUTTA THE WAY JOYCE I’M BOUTTA GET IT

  32. Adept
    Adept
    December 2, 2023 at 10:44 am | #

    Joyce definitely needs to start going to the gym for reals.

  33. shrub
    shrub
    December 2, 2023 at 12:26 pm | #

    I note Joe didn’t state where he’d kiss her…

  34. Stephen Nedland
    Stephen Nedland
    December 2, 2023 at 12:36 pm | #

    I wouldn’t let her down; either way, she has to do a sit up, so Joe’s face, is perfectly safe, from punches.

  35. LIGHTWEIGHT BAYBEE
    LIGHTWEIGHT BAYBEE
    December 2, 2023 at 1:43 pm | #

    Joe should now that thing is excruciating for beginners that’s like making someone’s first exercise handstand pushups

    • Da Boy
      Da Boy
      December 2, 2023 at 3:30 pm | #

      I mean, Joyce picked this particular exercise, he is just trying to help by explaining how you do it. And seeing how stubborn she was about Knowing how to use it she would probably reject any suggestions to pick a different exercise.

  36. Felian
    Felian
    December 2, 2023 at 2:38 pm | #

    She’d rather punch than kiss him?
    That’s gonna be an interesting slipshine 😛

  37. Roe
    Roe
    December 2, 2023 at 7:47 pm | #

    I still don’t really buy Joe and Joyce together. Joes character development was undersold and it’s like I’m looking at a new character that I don’t know

    • DaWombat
      DaWombat
      December 2, 2023 at 10:39 pm | #

      Really? A good deal of comic time was spent on his development

    • George Simpson
      George Simpson
      December 3, 2023 at 10:46 pm | #

      It makes sense to me.

      I think it was pretty clear that Joe was never as much of a butt opening as he pretended, but he thought he was just being funny until people started calling him out.

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