Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 14, 2026

Frame rate

by David M Willis on July 16, 2024 at 12:01 am
  • 04 – For Me It Was Tuesday
└ Tags: amber, sal

Discussion (155) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    July 16, 2024 at 12:02 am | #

    oh shit… 😮

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    July 16, 2024 at 12:02 am | #

    Well that’s Sal’s edge, right there. No other speedrunner gets laid.

    I mean, who would want to, their whole deal is being done with things super fast. “I think I can shave two more seconds off if I think about Rogue from X-Men in a silk ted-that did it!”

    • John Campbell
      John Campbell
      July 16, 2024 at 12:10 am | #

      Rogue is kind of an awkward fantasy girl, unless you’re into having Leech in the Joyce chair.

      • Viktoria
        Viktoria
        July 16, 2024 at 12:13 am | #

        Eh, there’s enough ways to make it work that it’s fine. Collars, odd power interactions, not letting the parties touch…Art works best if you have limitations.

        • Golden Yak
          Golden Yak
          July 16, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

          Or do how I do and imagine you’re Magneto.

          • Azhrei Vep
            Azhrei Vep
            July 16, 2024 at 10:58 am | #

            Or just dont’ think about that part. It’s not how I work, but I know plenty of people who do.

            • John Campbell
              John Campbell
              July 16, 2024 at 2:41 pm | #

              I just have trouble imagining someone being enough of a nerd that Rogue is their fantasy girl, but not enough of a nerd for their next thought to be, “But how would we deal with her powers?”

              (I cannot confirm or deny having put thought into how to deal with Rogue’s powers in an intimate situation.)

              • John Campbell
                John Campbell
                July 16, 2024 at 2:51 pm | #

                ((Actually, I guess that’s kind of a pointless disclaimer, given that I already mentioned the “Leech in the Joyce chair” solution.))

      • Regret
        Regret
        July 16, 2024 at 12:36 pm | #

        Easy: My dick has plot armour.

      • Freezer
        Freezer
        July 16, 2024 at 5:21 pm | #

        Last I checked, Rogue can control her power now. So let the fantasies run wild(er).

      • jflb96
        jflb96
        July 16, 2024 at 7:16 pm | #

        Do her powers work through latex?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 16, 2024 at 1:12 am | #

      …. I’m trying to workshop a counter-example hinging on a 100% completion speedrunner, and I can’t seem to get it more than 90% finished. Better keep working on it.

    • Psychie
      Psychie
      July 16, 2024 at 6:20 am | #

      Personally, I fully plan to speed run getting my GF off, I also plan to go for the high score with her, too. Get her the fastest orgasms and the most in one session.

  3. TulipKitten
    TulipKitten
    July 16, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    Wow, and I thought Lucy and Walky were going to win the prize for most awkward conversation.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      July 16, 2024 at 1:13 am | #

      What’s the prize for that, again? And do we split the prize in case of a tie, or award both conversations the full amount?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        July 16, 2024 at 4:20 am | #

        The conversation is the prize!

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        July 16, 2024 at 7:20 am | #

        The real prize is the awkwardness we found along the way!

  4. Matrix
    Matrix
    July 16, 2024 at 12:03 am | #

    Blaine face

  5. C.T. Phipps
    C.T. Phipps
    July 16, 2024 at 12:04 am | #

    Amber: I was stabbing at the ultimate embodiment of evil!

    Sal: I was a kid!

    Amber: I know but so terrifying! Also, I couldn’t stab my dad. Yet.

  6. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    July 16, 2024 at 12:04 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 14: In the Fog of My Petty, Misdirected Rage

  7. DorJoJo
    DorJoJo
    July 16, 2024 at 12:04 am | #

    Still don’t understand this mario stuff lol

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      July 16, 2024 at 12:36 am | #

      So, video games are a thing. Some people are very good at them, and want there to be ways to judge that skill. One of those ways is speedrunning, beating the game as quickly as possible. This is often a combination of routing skill(figuring out the fastest way through the game), player skill, luck, and consistency.
      For popular speed games, the route for beating might be incredibly optimized, with the original Mario’s shortest category being so clearly understood that we know what the theoretical fastest time down to the frame is. And the game has no relevant luck elements. So it’s entirely down to player skill to hit that fastest possible time.
      But, at the time this storyline began, we didn’t actually know that hitting that time was possible, and hundreds of people have tried for extended periods without hitting that time. (there’s only 1 run currently that has crossed the main hurdle for that). Amber is in-universe trying to beat that record, and has been working for months at it. Sal, since then, has picked up the game and gotten the WR in a handful of tries. This annoys Amber, since it both takes away an accomplishment she wanted(even if Amber hits the key skip now, Sal got there first and will get the accolades/invites/etc), and also minimizes all the work she put into it(why work for months if someone else can just show up and do it easily? Amber is going to take that as a sign from the universe that she sucks.)

      (SMB1 is not a speed game I care about, so details of this might be wrong)

    • DashWallkick
      DashWallkick
      July 16, 2024 at 4:14 am | #

      Video games are measured in frames per second. Frames are usually locked to 60. Mario 1 is a game people have been trying to play as fast as possible for 35 years and the final accomplishment is saving exactly one frame (1/60th of a second) in one specific interaction without making a single mistake on any of the other hundreds of hyper specific inputs as well. Amber has been doing it for months, years in our time, and the community has been doing it for decades.

      Sal had a quick fuck, got bored, and did it in an afternoon.

      Amber is, understandably, bitter.

      • Mark
        Mark
        July 16, 2024 at 7:20 am | #

        I’ve been watching the discussion of speedrunning and thinking, “why?” until I recalled how good it felt to complete Colossal Cave Adventure without any wasted moves. I never thought to time it, though, and probably wouldn’t now. To each yx own, I guess.

        • John Campbell
          John Campbell
          July 16, 2024 at 12:32 pm | #

          You scored 350 out of a possible 350 using 271 turns.

          (Unix port of the original, which comes in Slackware’s bsdgames package.)

          I think that’s actually faster than the fastest possible run without dwarf or pirate interference. I had a very conveniently-timed pirate encounter on my way back from the troll bridge that meant I didn’t have to make another dive into the deep cave to retrieve the eggs (the second time), emerald, and vase. I just grabbed them then and picked up the treasures I’d been carrying when I went to get the pirate’s chest. I had to go back for the pearl after getting the trident back from the pirate, but that’s a much shorter trip. I also had to ditch my axe to carry all the stuff from the pirate’s stash, which could have gone badly, but I got lucky and the only dwarf I met after that was at the top of the orange column on my way out, so I lost him sliding down into the Bird Chamber.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      July 16, 2024 at 4:22 am | #

      He’s a plumber who has to rescue a princess from an evil, fire-breathing turtle. Sometimes his insecure brother helps him. Sometimes they all play tennis or go go-karting together.

      • Plain Marie
        Plain Marie
        July 16, 2024 at 5:59 am | #

        I didn’t know how much I needed this synopsis! lol Thank you. It all makes sense now.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        July 16, 2024 at 7:44 am | #

        I always interpreted it as a Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog situation.

        • Azhrei Vep
          Azhrei Vep
          July 16, 2024 at 11:04 am | #

          I’ve decided the whole thing is a show that keeps getting rebooted, like Ninja Turtles. The current actors do a lot of charity sporting events and goofy game shows between seasons, thus the various sport/racing games and Mario Party, respectively.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          July 16, 2024 at 1:59 pm | #

          That’s pretty much how Shigeru Miyamoto squares the lore and continuity of all the different Mario games. (The characters are like actors in a troupe, whose roles are flexible in service of the particular game’s needs.)

          • Azhrei Vep
            Azhrei Vep
            July 16, 2024 at 6:39 pm | #

            Damn it, now I want the game where Super Peach and her brother Mario have to save Princess Bowser from the evil King Luigi.

  8. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    July 16, 2024 at 12:05 am | #

    yay for post walnut clarity

  9. Nono
    Nono
    July 16, 2024 at 12:07 am | #

    You’d think Sal would have more tact than to just casually mention you just finished banging the ex of the person you’re trying to apologize to.

    • Dana
      Dana
      July 16, 2024 at 12:10 am | #

      She does. She also has a non-zero amount of spite. Sal and Amber’s relationship status is platonic it’s complicated.

      • Dara
        Dara
        July 16, 2024 at 12:15 am | #

        Sal and Amber’s relationship status is platonic it’s complicated.

        …well put. Complicated further by their shared friendship with Amazi-Girl, so that’s also a thing, but I think secondary.

        • Dana
          Dana
          July 16, 2024 at 12:41 am | #

          Yeah, I drafted a couple attempts at a statement that acknowledged all parties to the relationship before going with something that didn’t mention Amazi-Girl directly.

    • Justnobodyfqwl
      Justnobodyfqwl
      July 16, 2024 at 12:10 am | #

      Would she? I feel like tact isn’t her strong suit, historically

      • Proto
        Proto
        July 16, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

        Judging from what we’ve seen of them, tact isn’t the strong suit of any of the Walkerton clan. Well, the dad seems like he might but he hasn’t really talked enough for me to get a read on him…

        • Jeremiah
          Jeremiah
          July 16, 2024 at 12:26 am | #

          His whole thing is being the reasonable parent while also excusing his wife behavior so I say tact is a skill he has well trained.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            July 16, 2024 at 4:23 am | #

            He’s a born boat-steadier.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          July 16, 2024 at 1:16 am | #

          Walky can actually be relied on to employ his tact in choosing to avoid emotionally fraught conversations that are likely to blow up in his face.

          … granted, that’s tact in the CHOICE to avoid them, not tact in the actual avoidance.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        July 16, 2024 at 12:30 am | #

        Sal can be tactful when she so chooses. She doesn’t often choose to be with Amber.

        • Jeremiah
          Jeremiah
          July 16, 2024 at 12:33 am | #

          There WERE those time she tried to attack her for literally no reason but her badly managed trauma.

    • Shakes
      Shakes
      July 16, 2024 at 1:21 am | #

      Amber dumped Danny so she has no cause to complain or be angry about Sal’s lack of tact.

      ….is what everyone has been saying about Lucy and Walky so the same standard applies right?

      • Nymph
        Nymph
        July 16, 2024 at 2:07 am | #

        We’ll find out, I guess!

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        July 16, 2024 at 6:05 am | #

        Yes, actually. Why is that even in question? If you’re not dating someone, who they fuck is none of your business. They can fuck your dad if they want to, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

        • brute
          brute
          July 16, 2024 at 10:51 am | #

          people have emotions that aren’t logical. shoving uncomfortable things into their face for no reason other than making them uncomfortable is generally considered rude.

          • Nymph
            Nymph
            July 16, 2024 at 12:29 pm | #

            Talking about something isn’t shoving it in their face.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            July 16, 2024 at 4:44 pm | #

            Thanks, Captain Obvious.

        • Azhrei Vep
          Azhrei Vep
          July 16, 2024 at 11:06 am | #

          It’s none of their business, but also not unreasonable to just not want to hear about it, too. Or really to hear about anybody’s fucking, really.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            July 16, 2024 at 4:45 pm | #

            Then she can shut her ears off.

            • Nymph
              Nymph
              July 16, 2024 at 5:52 pm | #

              Is it possible to learn this power?

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                July 16, 2024 at 6:06 pm | #

                Yeah, just develop ADHD and wait for someone to mention your name in another room.

    • APersonAmI
      APersonAmI
      July 16, 2024 at 3:23 am | #

      Sal isn’t trying to apologize, though. She didn’t do anything wrong.

    • DashWallkick
      DashWallkick
      July 16, 2024 at 4:16 am | #

      Sal doesn’t do tact but she’s also very direct, which is a double-edged sword. When she started dating Danny she told Amber immediately. She’s also not going to sugar-coat anything.

    • zee
      zee
      July 16, 2024 at 10:49 am | #

      When where and why is she trying to apologize here?

  10. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    July 16, 2024 at 12:09 am | #

    It’s almost admirable that Amber manages to somehow be mad despite having no high ground. I guess I’ve underestimated her power.

    • Jeremiah
      Jeremiah
      July 16, 2024 at 12:27 am | #

      What part of petty misdirected rage don’t you understand?!/j

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      July 16, 2024 at 12:48 am | #

      The person making you mad having the high ground rarely makes people less mad, at least in my experience.

  11. egon
    egon
    July 16, 2024 at 12:11 am | #

    more joyce and joe thanks

  12. drs
    drs
    July 16, 2024 at 12:16 am | #

    Why would Amber have assumed Sal was left-handed?

    • Rotunda
      Rotunda
      July 16, 2024 at 12:23 am | #

      She didn’t. She stabbed Sal’s right hand, thinking Sal was right-handed.

    • audkitten
      audkitten
      July 16, 2024 at 12:24 am | #

      I think Sal is left-handed and Amber reached across her to stab her right hand thinking she was right-handed.

    • drs
      drs
      July 16, 2024 at 1:40 am | #

      Oh, I didn’t remember where Sal had been stabbed or if she wears gloves on both hands, and assumed the gloved hand she was gesturing with was the stab location (because of glove).

      • eh, whatever
        eh, whatever
        July 16, 2024 at 4:02 am | #

        Of course she wears gloves on both hands. Otherwise she’d constantly sweat on one hand and/or the other would freeze. She’d be distracted nonstop.

        • Mark
          Mark
          July 16, 2024 at 7:24 am | #

          Plus being asked 1,000,000 times: why do you wear only one glove?

  13. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    July 16, 2024 at 12:17 am | #

    The tension’s so thick you could cut it wit–

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      July 16, 2024 at 12:38 am | #

      Glad to see someone take a stab at that joke. I’m sure people held off because they weren’t sure they’d be able to cut it.

      • Clif
        Clif
        July 16, 2024 at 12:52 am | #

        Phone. Tension so thick you could cut it with a phone.

      • Dana
        Dana
        July 16, 2024 at 12:59 am | #

        I certainly wouldn’t try. I’m clumsy enough with words that I’d be walking a real knife’s edge trying to stay appropriate.

        • Loki
          Loki
          July 16, 2024 at 8:06 am | #

          Guys, cut it out with the knife puns.

          • tim Rowledge
            tim Rowledge
            July 16, 2024 at 11:01 am | #

            What’s your point?

            • Dante
              Dante
              July 16, 2024 at 6:52 pm | #

              Too edgy

    • Michael Steamweed
      Michael Steamweed
      July 16, 2024 at 7:24 am | #

      Amber’s glaring daggers at Sal.

  14. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    July 16, 2024 at 12:18 am | #

    Slightly off topic but the slipshine advert featuring unique characters makes wonder if slipshines actually highlight characters we don’t see in the main story? Is there like a new story in IU featuring unseen characters in the official smut?

    • Dday
      Dday
      July 16, 2024 at 12:34 am | #

      Clearly its Bizzaro World Joyce, Jennifer and Walky, like in Seinfeld.

  15. Jeremiah
    Jeremiah
    July 16, 2024 at 12:20 am | #

    Nice commentary on how racist and sexist the gaming community can be. Yeah, some people are definitely immediately disbelief her. Loudly and angrily.

    • Xujhan
      Xujhan
      July 16, 2024 at 1:29 am | #

      Actually I think this one is a bit of a miss on Willis’ part. Old game speedrunning groups tend to be very inclusive, and there are more than a few high-profile community members who are visible minorities, outspokenly queer, etc etc. A very different crowd than the usual horde of goons hooting about CoD or LoL or whatnot.

      • General Tekno
        General Tekno
        July 16, 2024 at 1:54 am | #

        Maybe so, but Sal doesn’t know this.

      • Chubseus
        Chubseus
        July 16, 2024 at 6:59 am | #

        Maybe that specific group is, but if it made any kind of news and reached beyond the group…

      • Jeremiah
        Jeremiah
        July 16, 2024 at 12:35 pm | #

        Even inclusive groups will have loud assholes, they might meet more backlash but they will still complain.

  16. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 16, 2024 at 12:28 am | #

    Oh COME ON, Amber, overshare!

  17. Ray
    Ray
    July 16, 2024 at 12:36 am | #

    I am shipping them,

    • Dana
      Dana
      July 16, 2024 at 12:50 am | #

      I’m tempted, but we have word of Willis that Sal is straight, and I feel like if there was an ounce of the Sapphic in Amber we would have seen it in dialog regarding her or Joyce’s fics.

      • Jeremiah
        Jeremiah
        July 16, 2024 at 1:03 am | #

        Look when it comes to gay ships, especially ones like this one, canon sexuality can be disregarded. If you put gay characters in straight ships, it’s pretty shitty, but the opposite is free game.

        • Dana
          Dana
          July 16, 2024 at 1:13 am | #

          That’s fair. I suppose it depends on what the shipper wants from shipping. I’d rather something canon plausible, but Ray’s reasons are their own.

        • Thag Simmons
          Thag Simmons
          July 16, 2024 at 7:53 am | #

          Even if you clear the “Sal is canonically extremely straight” the next hurdle is that even if Sal liked girls Amber would be pretty low on a list of girls Sal would want to date

        • Bittersweet
          Bittersweet
          July 16, 2024 at 9:02 am | #

          I very strongly disagree because it’s usually under the guise of “So-and-So was bi this whole time actually” but ‘bi’ here means “They actually will never have another het relationship again and those were actually why said character was miserable the whole time.” Which, as a bi person in a het marriage always feels really shitty for reasons I have trouble putting my finger on.

          People can write what they want, I’ll read anything if it has a good story, I just think that if an author says “x is ” it should be viewed as some degree of shitty to change it regardless of which direction it’s moving.

          • Bittersweet
            Bittersweet
            July 16, 2024 at 9:07 am | #

            (Clarifying here that I’m talking about situations where a character’s sexuality is explicitly stated. Like the author or the character outright said “I’m straight.” If it’s never stated and the straightness is just inferred from them being with the opposite gender then I agree it’s free game to pair them up with whoever you want or to explore those dynamics. Also you can do it anyways.)

          • Jeremiah
            Jeremiah
            July 16, 2024 at 12:33 pm | #

            There is just a different standards for straight characters that gay ones for obvious reasons.

          • Proxiehunter
            Proxiehunter
            July 16, 2024 at 6:59 pm | #

            The author didn’t say they all work at a coffee shop where nothing bad ever happens either. Neither shipping nor fanfic is about what the author has said is canon and they get absolutely no input on it. Nor should they. It’s generally bad policy to be reading fanfic of your own work in the first place or at least to admit to it. Besides giving the author input into who you ship gets far too close to the bad old days when an author might sue you if you made the wrong two characters (usually both male) fuck in your fanfic.

            Sometimes a person just wants to explore what a relationship between two (or more) characters looks like regardless of what canon says about whether those characters would conceivable get together or not and I think too many people have been forgetting that lately. And forgetting that leads both to people thinking that what the author has canonically said matters when it comes to shipping two characters and the equally shitty harassment of authors by people who think their ship should be canon.

            If what you ship and what’s canon matches that’s a happy accident but neither side gets to tell the other what to do.

            • Taffy
              Taffy
              July 16, 2024 at 11:09 pm | #

              What’s the issue with reading fanfic about your own stuff? I’d absolutely wanna see what stories people were coming up with for my characters, it sounds cool.

              • Proxiehunter
                Proxiehunter
                July 17, 2024 at 12:21 am | #

                It opens you up to weirdos deciding you plagiarized their fanfic in your latest installment of the work they based it on.

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        July 16, 2024 at 7:27 am | #

        Hell, slashfic itself started with Spock/Kirk. Two characters that behaved straight in the original material. But that didn’t stop the literarily-productive fans!

  18. Barf Ninjason
    Barf Ninjason
    July 16, 2024 at 1:04 am | #

    That’s some genuine paranoia if Sal really thinks the *modern* internet would be inclined to disbelieve her record because of her race. Like a lot of this stuff, it woulda been more understandable 30 years ago, but today’s “progressive” bigots would be much more inclined to assume that the white girl stole the record from the half-black/half-white one.

    I understand where that resentment comes from and I don’t blame people for feeling it, but when it becomes that paranoid, it’s getting in the way of recognizing when actual progress along these lines has occured.

    • Michael
      Michael
      July 16, 2024 at 1:21 am | #

      The competitive gaming space is overwhelmingly white and male, and in general the farther you are from that description the less respect you are going to get. “Girls don’t play video games” didn’t die in the 90s, as much as we wish it were so. And on a purely demographic basis, an overwhelmingly white and male group, especially an insular online group of people who are generally socially inept, is going to trend conservative or alt-right. Or, in 2024, just full on fascist. It would come as no surprise to me if “they cheated/hacked/fake news/etc” wasn’t instantly said about any newcomer who didn’t fit the expectation of what a speedrunner looks like.

      • Xujhan
        Xujhan
        July 16, 2024 at 1:31 am | #

        Out of curiosity, do you actually have first-hand experience with speedrunning communities? My experience is very different from what you describe, so if so I’d be curious to know which games you found this in.

      • Lexi
        Lexi
        July 16, 2024 at 2:29 am | #

        Yeah, my experience with the speed running community has been that there’s a shockingly direct white-male-to-transwoman pipeline, that most of the people in it are LGBT in some way, and also incredibly left.

        “Competitive gaming” like CoD, LoL, esports, basically any game where you’re looking at a team of people attacking another team, THAT is pretty white and male and non-inclusive. The speed running community is not that at all.

      • Icalasari
        Icalasari
        July 16, 2024 at 3:11 am | #

        Plus, even if Sal was full white, there would be an immediate, “Oh she’s a fake gamer no way she did it”. Amber does have an appearance closer to what the internet would expect for a gamer girl – Glasses, shorter, chubbier, baggier clothes, etc.

    • Wraithy2773
      Wraithy2773
      July 16, 2024 at 2:06 am | #

      I think its an understandable level of cynicism on her part. Huge portions of her life have been impacted by being a dangerous/hot black girl, to the point that she feels like she needs to play into that stereotype for self-defense if nothing else. I’d even say its part of why she really love her relationship with Danny, how she doesn’t need to be all of that, he’s a giant dork who is at home with being a giant dork and cares about who she actually is at the core, so she can let her hair down, so to speak.

      I also think that she’s very wrong about this, though. Nothing I’ve seen about the speedrunning community implies that they’d be gatekeepery about individuals performing speedruns, Awesome Games Done Quick might have a high “straight white male” quotient, but they’ve always seemed quite welcoming of anyone that isn’t in that mold.

      But we can go “she doesn’t know the community, she’s been through shit, her assumptions are understandable” regardless.

      • Lexi
        Lexi
        July 16, 2024 at 2:44 am | #

        While I’m sure that Games Done Quick is not the be-all, end-all of the speed running community, and that there’s probably pockets of people who despise them, I feel the need to highlight the culture I’ve absorbed through multiple years of hanging out there:

        – On top of the two main charity marathons, they do two smaller ones in the spring and fall that are exclusively “Women, or anyone who defines themselves as a woman in a way meaningful to themselves.” So mostly women and NB’s that are genderfluid, or femme presenting, and many transwomen.

        – They do… At least 1, if not more than one, black speedrunning events, highlighting black members of the community (I know Juneteenth is one event, I think there’s another)

        – “Trans Right” routinely wins bid wars to name characters/save files, with community members donating in the $500-2000 range to actually win that bid war. “Trans Rights are Human Rights” is an incredibly common send-off for the hosts/runners as they leave.

        – They proudly display everyone’s pronouns under their tag on the streams, and I’d say the organizers/people in charge are fairly evenly split male/female/trans, with maybe a slight lean/overlap towards male.

        – One of the major charity runs is for Doctors Without Borders, who primarily operates in non-white countries, and many of the interviews/what they do segments are subtitled and non-English.

        Honestly, I think the only reason that there isn’t even more diversity on the GDQ stage is just because they literally cannot make it more diverse. They go out of their way to make it inclusive.

        • morleuca
          morleuca
          July 16, 2024 at 5:27 am | #

          Trans is not a separate category from male and female.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            July 16, 2024 at 9:21 am | #

            Neither are you 😭😭😭
            *runs out of the house in a hysterical tizzy, dropping several AAA batteries from my pocket*

          • Nymph
            Nymph
            July 16, 2024 at 12:33 pm | #

            Sometimes it is (non-binary people exist and are trans). I didn’t read the above essay, so I don’t know the exact way they referred to it.

            • Yumi
              Yumi
              July 16, 2024 at 1:50 pm | #

              I think it was just a misunderstanding on morleuca’s part– “women and NB’s that are genderfluid, or femme presenting, and many transwomen” was the part, and can see how that looks like “women and trans women,” but I think it was meant as “women, many of whom are trans women” (though I added the spacing).

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                July 16, 2024 at 2:56 pm | #

                I think it was the “fairly evenly split male/female/trans”, which is a bit more of a problem.
                The intention seems good and the meaning clear, but as written it does imply trans is a separate thing from male/female.

                • a/snow/mous/e
                  a/snow/mous/e
                  July 16, 2024 at 4:28 pm | #

                  is it supposed to say “evenly split male/female and cis/trans” or “evenly split cis-male/cis-female/trans”?

                • Yumi
                  Yumi
                  July 16, 2024 at 4:41 pm | #

                  That makes sense, though it’s also possible that it’s referring to trans people who are in fact not male/female. And I get a lot of people would use nonbinary there, but I do know plenty of people who use trans as a gender category. It seems a bit splitting hairs as a focus; I wouldn’t say writing it that way is actually wrong, but I can see how people could take it separating cis and trans people of the same gender rather than going beyond two genders.

                • Lexi
                  Lexi
                  July 17, 2024 at 4:29 pm | #

                  I meant people who are genderfluid, demi-whatever, or non-binary. There’s several different labels that trans is covering there, not just transwoman/transman

              • NGPZ
                NGPZ
                July 16, 2024 at 3:40 pm | #

                Yeah, if any error is to be had, it is similar to that of Joyce’s when she asked Dorothy whether or not she knew anyone of their friends who “transed all the way” (i.e. Carla)

                There really is no such thing as “trans-ing all the way” because masculine and feminine are not opposites, but rather just two genders out of many, many different genders, most of which don’t even have names yet.

                And yes, that means that NB (including genderfluid folk like myself) do in fact fall under the trans umbrella. ^^

                • Lexi
                  Lexi
                  July 17, 2024 at 4:25 pm | #

                  If it helps any, when I said “evenly split male/female/trans”, I mostly meant that because there’s about 3 men, 3 women, 2 genderfluid/NBs, and at least one trans person that I know of?

                  So yeah, it’s evenly split between people who are cis/trans, and people who are men/women/NB, but since NB falls under the trans umbrella, I didn’t see the need to try and break down every gender present beyond “There’s a very solid amount of representation.”

                  Not “Trans women are not real women” but “Many people ARE trans or a third gender identity”

          • Lexi
            Lexi
            July 17, 2024 at 4:35 pm | #

            “Trans” covers “Non-binary, demi-boy/girl, genderfluid” and a bunch of other labels than just straight up transman or transwoman. Several members of the hosting team are third gender identities.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      July 16, 2024 at 6:01 am | #

      What’s this about “‘today’s progressive’ bigots”? I’m a little curious what that means.

      • Jeremiah
        Jeremiah
        July 16, 2024 at 8:39 pm | #

        I assume they mean the belief that in today “progressive” society, the ones who are now suffering from bigotry are the white and cishet people (and men) because….. Reasons!

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      July 16, 2024 at 9:11 am | #

      I can’t speak about the speedrunning community in particular, but you say “*modern* internet” and compare it to 30 years ago?
      Gamergate was less than a decade ago and a good chunk of that went full on fascist. Casual gamer fandom might be more sexist/incel than racist, but it’s really ugly out there.
      What there is that’s different is that there’s a lot more progressive push back than there used to be, but that doesn’t mean the old school bigotry isn’t still common.

    • zee
      zee
      July 16, 2024 at 10:52 am | #

      Did you not see what happened when they put a black guy in the new assassin’s creed or…?

      • Da Boy
        Da Boy
        July 16, 2024 at 3:33 pm | #

        Yeah… when you take a country with a very rich history of stealthy assassins and you make the protagonist a gimmick historical character who had no involvement with that at all. Smells like cultural imperialism.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        July 16, 2024 at 5:01 pm | #

        Is that the new new one or one of the older new ones? I haven’t kept up in ages, so the last protagonists I remember seeing were British and Egyptian. I think maybe there was a Greek thing, but I’m not sure.

        • Da Boy
          Da Boy
          July 16, 2024 at 5:49 pm | #

          I assume so. The newest one is taking place in Japan and out of all the characters they could pick they picked Yasuke, a guy who was brought to Japan and became Oda Nobunaga’s samurai for a year (then Nobunaga died). The way I hear it the Japanese don’t even mind much and are like “Hey it’s Yasuke!” but I imagine there are different opinions on the topic. All in all it just seems weird to take Japan where Ninja lore is so rich and stuff a guy who has no connection to any of that.

          • Taffy
            Taffy
            July 16, 2024 at 6:05 pm | #

            I’m not a receptacle for your video game controversy hot takes.

            • Da Boy
              Da Boy
              July 16, 2024 at 6:06 pm | #

              You asked for info, don’t be annoyed that you got it.

              • Taffy
                Taffy
                July 16, 2024 at 6:28 pm | #

                It was a binary yes/no question, not a solicitation for a State of the Gaming Address.

                • Sparda
                  Sparda
                  July 16, 2024 at 10:35 pm | #

                  And a person expounding on their answer instead of making a single word reply is just natural conversation. If you didn’t care for the human interaction part of the answer, you could have simply searched google for the information instead.

                • Taffy
                  Taffy
                  July 16, 2024 at 11:03 pm | #

                  Cool Revali icon.

                • Sparda
                  Sparda
                  July 18, 2024 at 12:26 am | #

                  It’s a chocobo, but thank you! A friend drew it for meeee

    • Nymph
      Nymph
      July 16, 2024 at 12:35 pm | #

      Yikes. So many words to say “I don’t know what I’m talking about and actually racism is solved thx.”

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        July 16, 2024 at 2:57 pm | #

        Except for the reverse racism of the progressive bigots of course.

    • Jeremiah
      Jeremiah
      July 16, 2024 at 8:24 pm | #

      I am glad I choose to just skim the comments today and didn’t get involved in whatever bullshit you are spewing.

  19. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 16, 2024 at 1:22 am | #

    Look at the bright side, Amber. Sal just gifted you the secret. You just gotta bang before you make a speedrun.

    …

    … look, I know it’s not scientific, but with a testable hypothesis like that it CAN be scientific if you want.

    • DashWallkick
      DashWallkick
      July 16, 2024 at 4:17 am | #

      I’m putting my bet down now, $10, is that Amber’s “bad decision while drunk” is getting laid and it helps her break the record.

      • Michael Steamweed
        Michael Steamweed
        July 16, 2024 at 7:31 am | #

        Yeah, but with whom? Dang few single guys around who’re into the bits Amber’s got. Asher or Jacob? I see both being resistant.

        • DashWallkick
          DashWallkick
          July 16, 2024 at 7:36 am | #

          Given Walky’s previous nervousness about him and Dorothy, and his recent fuckup with Lucy, it would be pretty in character for him to “it doesn’t matter on Garbage Roof” his way into her life again.

          • Michael Steamweed
            Michael Steamweed
            July 16, 2024 at 9:54 pm | #

            Yeesh, that would be even more dramatic and garbagey!

            *starts making popcorn

        • Regret
          Regret
          July 16, 2024 at 12:28 pm | #

          New character!

    • anon
      anon
      July 16, 2024 at 9:55 pm | #

      post nut clarity doesn’t require a partner but would be amusing if she somehow hooked up with jacob despite ppl preducting he and lucy would get togehter

  20. IntangibleMatter
    IntangibleMatter
    July 16, 2024 at 1:53 am | #

    The question is honestly what weird pre-speedrun ‘rituals’ will Amber form because of this interaction.

    • Da Boy
      Da Boy
      July 16, 2024 at 3:14 am | #

      Sal walking in on Amber stabbing a fake hand?

      • Icalasari
        Icalasari
        July 16, 2024 at 3:58 am | #

        Amber stabbing her own non dominant hand then banging some dude named Ranny who looks and acts eerily like Danny?

  21. APersonAmI
    APersonAmI
    July 16, 2024 at 3:23 am | #

    Love how relaxed Sal is about this.

  22. Michael Steamweed
    Michael Steamweed
    July 16, 2024 at 7:18 am | #

    Let’s just put some SALT into that CUT. To help prevent infection! 🙂

  23. Mark
    Mark
    July 16, 2024 at 7:34 am | #

    Eeek, Sal, how many ways can you say “loser” without using the word?

  24. Disastroid
    Disastroid
    July 16, 2024 at 8:15 am | #

    The mods are asleep, everyone post nut clarity!

  25. TheScreenJockey
    TheScreenJockey
    July 16, 2024 at 9:33 am | #

    I know this isn’t the first time Sal’s hand dominance has come up, but this IS the first time I’ve realized she’s a lefty AND rides a motorcycle, which is VERY brave.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 16, 2024 at 4:17 pm | #

      What is brave about a lefty riding a motorbike?

  26. CosmicEgg
    CosmicEgg
    July 16, 2024 at 9:50 am | #

    I like how these two can just casually chat about Mario speedruns, emotional trauma and stabbing each other in the same conversation. #bestfrenemies

  27. Pergola
    Pergola
    July 16, 2024 at 11:40 am | #

    Amber’s experience matches what we know about speed-running in RL.
    Sal’s does not.
    Willis tries to build a world as true to RL as possible. He’s been known to complain about the extra work this causes.
    My brain hurts.

    • Yeet
      Yeet
      July 16, 2024 at 1:46 pm | #

      Sal (like me) doesn’t know a lot about the speed-running community
      It’s not that weird that she’d assume the worst from a gaming community

    • anon
      anon
      July 16, 2024 at 9:58 pm | #

      I wonder how many ppl have ‘lucked into’ breaking a speedrun/gaming record

      I remember seeing a vid of the hitman dev team reacting to someone completing missions super fast

      I can totally imagine a scenario where someone’s playing a game on stream, having a break and letting a relative take over for a bit and them ending up performing super well or so in some esports competitive matfh

  28. Dev
    Dev
    July 16, 2024 at 4:14 pm | #

    I love how just now I’m like “Sal’s left handed?”

    Either I never realized or just plain forgot.

  29. VolticEXE
    VolticEXE
    July 16, 2024 at 4:40 pm | #

    So I haven’t kept with the comics in about 4 weeks due to being on an extended vacations.
    The last strip I read, Amber just burst into Danny’s room to yell at Sal for taking her Speedrunning Record.
    This is the first strip I’ve seen upon coming back & other than the clothes change, I feel like I’ve missed nothing which just feels funny.

    • Taffy
      Taffy
      July 16, 2024 at 4:59 pm | #

      You basically haven’t missed anything. There was some boring stuff with Lucy (the comments were very normal about it}, Becky and Dina killed Nick and are currently in their way to the cop shop, Joe and Joyce talked about alcohol a little bit, and there’s a very lame dorm party going on that has no activities or music happening.

      • Yumi
        Yumi
        July 16, 2024 at 5:29 pm | #

        The cop shop is unrelated to the Nick thing, though, they just thought it’d be fun to test out Dina’s stealing powers on the doughnuts there.

  30. Sean Smith
    Sean Smith
    July 16, 2024 at 6:44 pm | #

    This is just me being very particular about words, but I don’t think I would use the word petty to describe her rage. Her actions were completely unjustified, but describing her rage as petty makes it sound like Sal stole her muffin, not maker her fear for the life of her only friend. I do like the use of the word misdirected though.

    • Dante
      Dante
      July 16, 2024 at 6:56 pm | #

      She’s described it that way before, because it’s the kind of rage she feels she inherited from Blaine. I remember it reading it for the first time when she punched him.

  31. Jammy
    Jammy
    July 16, 2024 at 11:02 pm | #

    Some days I’m really confused if this group is over- or under-achieving like crazy. They sure ain’t normal as much as the general college context might try to hide it.

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

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T-Rex: So we've LOGICALLY PROVEN that seeing SONIC D. HEDGEHOG is somehow evidence for all ravens being black!! BUT THAT'S NUTS! We're in CRAZY LAND now, and we all just have to live with this unsolved problem in logic!!
Off panel: Frig, my sanity!!
T-Rex: FRIG, MINE TOO!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
dawn: ha ha, you believed the fish but not me!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Saturday" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Saturday
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
meaningful number!
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
www.makeship.com/petitions/tr... Wanna Tricerahoodie Dina plush? GO PLEDGE FOR ONE! We need 200 people to make it happen! Pledge period will end in 10 days!
header image - Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
www.makeship.com
Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
Dina is so small and quiet that she goes completely unnoticed by most people for long stretches of time. She doesn’t talk much — she prefers to observe. People and how they interact is a puzzle to Din...
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reposted by David M Willis!
tirkarokujo.itch.io's user avatar
Tirk @tirkarokujo.itch.io ⋅ 2d
im sorry but this is just indefensible, why the fuck is Judge Judy still on the air
mskellymhayes.bsky.social's user avatarPuff the Magic Hater @mskellymhayes.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Chicago.
A city bus with the words Fuck ICE written on its windshield
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
worst where's waldo ever, he's right fucken there
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
ahh nah, if it does attach on his back, it attaches upside-down from my expected arrangement, so guess that chunk of vehicle mode hanging off his back already is the "cape"
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Looks like the shield attaches via 5mm port to his arm, and there IS a 5mm port also on what becomes his back, so... maybe! If it doesn't get covered over in the transformation!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I've got a lovely box of Dorothy deedlely dee dee There they are all standing in a row
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
ACAB means Dennis the Menace
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEAk... all right, let's find out about everything amazon leaked yesterday
header image - Transformers Fanstream | June 2025 | Hasbro Pulse
www.youtube.com
Transformers Fanstream | June 2025 | Hasbro Pulse
YouTube video by Hasbro Pulse
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reposted by David M Willis!
dollaryydoos.bsky.social's user avatar
DollaryyDoos (she/her) @dollaryydoos.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
I don't care if I've said this before, unofficial or not, this is one of the best crossovers in history.
joechoui.bsky.social's user avatarJoe Chouinard @joechoui.bsky.social ⋅ 8m
My old 16-page comic where Frasier meets Columbo can be read on my website: joechouinard.com/columbo
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