Are you kidding? That was perfect. Confusing and leveraging cop homophobia and contact discomfort. Not just drove off the cop but made him actively not want to think about what just happened. 10/10 for young Walkerton!
the butt stuff was really going over into the danger zone tho
I know this is a comic and what not, but we can’t forget that cops are basically a gov-funded street gang, dangerous fuckers who’d more often than not take that opportunity to taze em in the ass just for kicks or even worse 👀
I hate to agree, but… it could just as easily have turned into that so-called “gay panic”.
Speaking of panic, though: I’m pretty sure Walky doesn’t know what’s going on but suspected that, whatever it was, adding cops would probably make things worse, so he did the first thing he could think of in his uninformed state. Fortunately, it worked.
To borrow from another webcomic: Maxim 43: “If it’s stupid and it works, it’s still stupid and you’re lucky.”
The meaning of the phrase has changed (the way English language does) and now encompasses someone panicking/acting awkward/getting super nervous/fleeing because they are gay.
These things happen, but I do hope everyone who uses the phrase understands the origin of it when they choose to use it.
It’s not even gay panic because it’s Walky talking about his heterosexual love affair and making it uncomfortable for the man. If he’d actually claimed to be gay and brown, it could have gotten violent.
Mind you, that’s because the absolute bottom of ACAB is the new norm.
Yeah, sometimes there are individual panels that feel a little awkward or ring pretty hollow, but this is the rare Entire Strip that just reads very….. Odd. (And imo tonally out of place in the story happening around it.) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
idk if it IS tonally out of place. Walky wasn’t at the protest, Walky hasn’t seen Amber since the protest, I’m pretty sure Sal’s “Ah’m no snitch” policy includes not telling her brother about his ex girlfriend’s escapades that require veterinary intervention.
I’m pretty sure Walky was intentionally being “tonally out of place”. Compare his panel 2 expression (realising he doesn’t know what’s going on, but that it’s probably best he not reveal that to the cop) with his subsequent exaggerated goofiness.
whole lotta people shocked that the guy who avoids problems with humorous non-sequitrs employed his primary and most common strategy for conflict deescalation
Nah, I think she’s fine. Way I see it, just like we can stretch our imaginations to conjure Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark as billionaires who aren’t amoral monsters, so too should we be allowed to fantasize about something equally as far-fetched as a cop you can actually trust.
As long as we recognize it’s as unrealistic as being able to pick up big heavy things by one corner, or radiation giving you amazing powers instead of just cancer.
See, I said something like this but took way longer to say it. Your version, however, is exponentially more efficient and effective. Absolute master stroke, well played.
The sentiment is kind of Joycey — as Astariel says, Joyce and Walky are more alike than either of them are willing to admit — but it’s not at all how Joyce would say it.
Unfortunately, I fear you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. Wait until 2027, with ‘for sale’ signs on all federal monuments and national parks, and US military units rented out as Hessians*.
*No insult meant to any modern-day inhabitants of Hesse
By 2027, we’ll know if we still live in even a nominal democracy or not. If so, Dems will almost certainly control at least one House of Congress and be able to limit the damage somewhat.
arbitrary number rolling over day is honestly right
ever since Jan 2021, Ive been just thoroughly disillusioned with any notion that things magically get better for us because of some special number on the gregorian calendar
it didn’t make the pandemic any less scary or devastating to deal with, that much is certain 👀
the need to gather and celebrate to disconnect and all?
thems valid as fuck, but dont need no special day to do that, at least i sure dont
for me, a “holiday” is whenever weed, alcohol, erotic anime, video games, etc can successfully disconnect me from the taxing reality that’s living as a disabled person in California’s corporate hellscape, i dont need no rigid ass calender to tell me when that should happen XD
in the end, honestly screw new years and new years resolutions and that corny shit
if brotha MLK got anything to say about it, ANY time is the perfect time to stop living by some mythical concept of time
☝️☝️☝️ Very much this. I’m a cishet suburban due whose ass is pale as freshly fallen snow, so you’d think I wouldn’t be so wary around ’em… but I could only read so many news stories before coming to one inescapable conclusion. I steadfastly refuse to trust a single one of them. Finish the phrase, it’s “one bad apple spoils the whole bunch.”
Shows what that cop knows, the person who was the most similar to Walky I ever met (kinda babyfaced, lanky despite terrible diet, nerdy and a bit goofy) was also by far the most popular and sexually active man I’ve ever met.
So much for the cops raiding Reed ( Read? ) Hall and not Clark, so Clark Hall isn’t safe either. Hats off to Walky for stepping up and being intelligent! 😊
Don’t care about Raidah. Definitely don’t care about Char, whose only appearance in the last eight years was in a flashback. And I was pretty sure that Asma lived behind the front desk…
How much can these cops get away with? You’re searching the girl’s hall for Amazi-Girl right? Checking the boys rooms feels like really pushing the bounds of this likely very illegal search. I hope someone at Read has a good lawyer available.
(Thank you for that link! Going off on a tangent, thanks it to I ended up reading https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/workedout/
which prompted some much-needed laughter at the line
“That’s… not a great precedent to set.”
when considered in the context of current Joyce-Dorothy interactions.)
IANAL, but this was very likely legal. It’s very reasonable to think the police asked the University (or judge, of course) for access to every hall in the dorm, not just the girls’ halls, in case the costume and such got handed off. If they had that permission, standing in one of those hallways looking through an already-wide-open door at who/what is in plain view inside is not an illegal search.
Now, the University can’t give them permission to open closed doors, enter, or search places out of plain view like closets, like they were yesterday, so THAT was an illegal search if they didn’t have the warrant I’m still annoyed Ruth didn’t more forcefully demand to see (though I get her fear).
in any case cops really dont follow laws, and here they would likely lie later and claimed these doors were already open or “smelled like marijuana” or some shit 9-9
I think “non-threatening” in this context means “not threatening to other guys”. Because toxic dudes view relationships as competitions between men where the only the strongest, manliest, alpha-est men get the girl.
people constantly wonder how Pete Davidson (assuming I got his name right) constantly beds the most consensus attractive celebrities at the height of their fame, and it’s like “I don’t know, man, have you ever tried being enjoyable to be around?” Guys think that being more attractive will solve all their problems, but it’s way easier to just be decent, safe, and a little bit fun.
“The moment he heard Walkerton say ‘genitalia’ out loud was the moment Ron had realized he had made a significant mistake. In his day, in his career, in his life choices, the cop could feel it pierce through every one in short succession, leading him to question his very being and the path that brought him to this moment.”
So basically we’re talking about Gorham, New Hampshire or McCloud, California or Rochester, New York. Technically we might include DuPont State Forest in North Carolina were it not for the fact that the town is missing in action.
Reminds me of the bit from Walter Koenig’s memoir where some cops wanted to question him over a suspected case of procurement (I don’t think he was suspected, just something in his vicinity) and when hearing the topic he responded “Aw jeez, I don’t even have a girlfriend” and it came off so pathetic that the cops just looked at each other & went on their way.
Also I won’t repeat my complaints from the patreon but in general I think this police raid sequence is not threading the needle of serious drama and necessary levity as well as I would have wished
I’m kinda on the far side of that, in that I’m fine with “campus cops are kinda dorky and ineffectual” because that rings very true to life for me, but as you say it’ll be hard to make them dramatic if and when it comes to that.
Unless we see another cop established in a different tone. Which could be something in itself, because I think a lot of people have benign interactions with cops and then either think they’re all like that or just forget to have their guard up as much. Then you encounter one who has decided you should have a really bad day. (And then he calls for backup and Mr. Dorky and Ineffectual shows up and seems more intimidating now that he’s following this guy and pointing a gun…)
The problem for me is that these cops are introduced as if they’re a real threat. They’re implied to be here illegally. One is even shown bandaged, which implies he’d been hurt by AG and thus had a personal grudge.
But when they’re searching, they’re just barely interested. Like they’re just going through the motions, with no personal stake.
To be fair, there are A LOT of dorm rooms to search. They probably had more of a grudge in the first 40 rooms they went through, but after going through a couple hundred kids’ personal belongings, they’re probably starting to just get bored.
They don’t let you be a cop if you have an IQ above room temperature, so “half of them just got bored” is fully acceptable reasoning to me. I’ve never met a cop who wanted to do their job. All the one that want to be there, are usually there for the perks and benefits, i.e. bullying with impunity. Actually respecting their own processes isn’t that high on the priority table.
Something that starts as “personal” can get tedious MORE quickly than something that’s a routine part of your job. Those first 40 rooms are going to be boring enough if you’re just doing the work, but if you spend the first 15 on an adrenaline high because you just KNOW you’re gonna bust the chick who kneed poor Ricky Bob in the face, the subsequent adrenaline crash is going to make the next 25 feel like water torture.
1. If I had a nickel for every time Amber was part of a scheme pretending romance, I’d have two nickels. Which is now the smallest minted US coin.
2. Happy (I dearly hope) New Year!
It seems kinda odd to me for a cop to be so surprised to see a girl in a college boy’s room, as if college students of the opposite sex never hang out in each other’s rooms, whether they’re dating or not. And while I’m glad Walky got the cop to go away, surely he could’ve talked a bit less weird to do so.
I do it a lot in public IRL, because I’ve just stopped giving a shit what strangers will think of me once I’ve turned around and they’ve despawned from existence.
There was a time when I would invite visiting Mormon youths in to witness to them about the lizard people, but I don’t do that sort of thing any more because it annoys my wife.
One time I didn’t know how to say no to a couple of proselytizing Jehovah witnesses so I agreed to meet up with them for a single bible study sermon or something and actually showed up, let them read bible shit at me and preach for probably an hour and at the end they were like “So? What do you think, do you wanna join us?” and I replied “No thank you” and left. Your lizard people thing is hilarious, if I was your wife I’d join in with a lizard costume.
I went to high school in a blue college town in the Bible Belt. We’d go and hang out downtown on Friday nights, and we’d get fundies coming in from the vast ungodless wastes around us to evangelize at the college students, and we’d entertain ourselves by harassing them.
One of my favorite tricks was when one of them approached me and put his hand out, I’d grab it in that weird two-handed clasp-shake, and say, very earnestly, “Hi, my name’s John. Have you been saved?” Which would throw them, because that was their line. And then no matter what they said, I’d tell them that if they didn’t accept Eris Discordia into their hearts, and possibly other parts of their bodies, they’d end up spending all eternity in Thud, which was kind of like Cary, but somehow even more boring.
I got exorcised more times than I can count. We exorcised them one night. We had candles and a chant we made up, and we drew a big pentagram around them on the pavement with a piece of bark from a planter. They left, so we figured it worked, which meant our gods were more powerful than theirs.
These shenanigans were… gods, 14–13 B.F.S.M. The Web was still just a prototype at CERN. André the Giant was still alive. We didn’t have to disambiguate “President Bush”. Return of the Jedi was the worst Star Wars movie. David Willis had not yet started drawing Roomies!.
When we were in college, a close friend of mine became Mormon (and I got queerer and now we don’t talk anymore), so I’d learn something specific things from her. Then when missionaries came up to me on campus, I’d ask really specific questions about their religion. This often confused them. The they’d ask if I was interested in learning more about their faith, and I’d say no, it was just that one thing I was wondering about. This confused them more. (I aimed to be polite, because these were, like, my friend’s friends, but also odd because I didn’t like what they were doing.)
As an autistic person, I’m sure I’ve acted in ways that most neurotypical people consider strange and off-putting a lot, but not usually intentionally to get someone to leave.
As another autistic person, I encourage you to embrace the off-putting vibe and use it to your advantage as often as possible. You can achieve a lot that way.
It’s not something I set out to do deliberately, but by the time I realize it’s happening, it becomes a potential out to that situation, and so it gets real desirable from there.
As a different autistic person, people have probably acted as strange and “offputting” to me, but if I picked up on it at all it might have been to think the person is awesome and we get on really well and caused me to wish to befriend them more. It amuses me to think someone trying to manipulate me could have it backfire spectacularly, at least.
One time when I was maybe 14, I was walking down the beach at night (on vacation with my parents, I had just run off ahead of them on our way back to where we were staying) and some guy came up to me and offered me shrooms. I just babbled at him in a made up, French-inspired language with a somewhat apologetic tone and then kept going.
31… and not personally interested in psychedelics, but I can say that now that I’m an adult, about half my friends have done shrooms. In the future, I could go with, “None for me, thanks, but could I grab a baggie for a friend?”
Huh. For some reason I thought you were slightly older than me. Shroom-wise, I’m actually pretty curious about psychedelics lately, but my living situation doesn’t allow inebriation in the house, so it’ll be a while before I can actually try it.
It’s also noon on… I believe it is Monday, definitely a day where there are classes, so the cop might be thrown off by the fact that neither are in class, in addition to having hang out time so early on a school day. Also I remember my dorms being iffy about having someone of the opposite gender over at your place for too long. One time a dormmate’s boyfriend kept hanging at our place and my roommate seriously considered getting the RA involved because she was sick of him bumming at our place. I managed to talk her down by suggesting we talk to our dormmate before talking to the RA and it did work, he went back to… wherever the hell he lived at.
I don’t think it’s unusual for a college student to be out of classes at noon on a Monday and hanging out instead. My schedules had classes dotted all over the place rather than some kind of regimented “school day” but I know it varies by college.
My campus was pretty big so unless there was a significant gap of time between classes (like an hour), then I would just park my ass outside the next building while waiting for class to start. Also the 10 am to 2 pm block was pretty full up with classes for me, I remember that time period usually being two classes back to back.
It really depends on your major and class schedules — I remember specifically my sophomore year that my “lunch break” was about 2.5 hours, because that was the year I got obsessed with Super Metroid and would routinely speed-run it inside of that gap a couple times a week.
Like I said, this varies by college, and as Big Z said also by major and class schedule. I literally never had classes between 11-2pm because I scheduled around enjoying a nice break every day, but there were also days I just didn’t have a class some semesters.
And here is Walky, very much no eating lunch. And like I said above, I almost always had a class around 12 noon because the 10 am to 2 pm block was incredibly busy with back to back classes.
He might be going to his room to eat lunch. But also it might not be common but also not exactly rare. I mean, Walky truly is coming back to his room at this time as part of his normal schedule. I feel like I often had a decent midday break either on M/W or T/Th (not both in the same semester, but my classes were generally M/W/(F) or T/Th, and one pair of days would usually be busier than the other).
Using awkwardness to make a cop want to leave without getting arrested? Walky my boy, you are a genius. Now if only he would use that genius more often.
I know this is a work of fiction and none of these people are real, but my honest reaction to this fictional cop’s behavior is “fuck this fucking asshole.” Not only is he trying to barge into a room without warrant or even probable cause, and then when Walky is like “she’s with me,” this guy has the absolute gall to make a comment on Walky’s personal life and appearance?! “You seem sexually unthreatening,” and that sounds like sexual harassment, ya’ fuckin’ creep. How about you piss the Hell off, Officer Karen?
Part of what’s throwing me with this whole scene is that we don’t know what if any legal authority they’re using here. Do they have a warrant? Do they need one if the university allows them? Did the university allow them? What are the limits on what they can search, if any of this is legal?
What do they think they’re doing? Are they looking for legal evidence? Just to find and beat up Amazi-Girl? Do they know she’s injured? If they’re actually here for the vigilante who beat up a whole bunch of cops a couple days ago, including some of them, why aren’t they taking this more seriously? Do they care about finding her? What would any of these idiots do if AG was waiting behind one of these doors and had to fight her way out?
There’s no such thing as a valid warrant to search all the closets in an entire dorm. No vaguely competent judge, even in Indiana, would have signed such a thing.
Warrants have to be specific. Every closet in a dorm… ain’t that.
Should have taken it a step farther and mentioned pegging. The cop would have left faster, or Amber could have found an entirely new way to take out some aggression.
I know these officers are probably just gonna be walk-on roles and we’ll never see them again, but mustache-guy deserves a name. I mean, you gave a name (‘Lon’) to the bald-headed guy who was in Malaya’s room asking his partner about Fuckface’s box.
Walky using his dorky sluttiness to get out of a police encounter is something I knew I needed, but I didn’t know just how much I needed it right this second. [gesture indicating approbation for execution]
Phrasing edit: “using his dorky sexiness to get out of a police encounter” would have better communicated what I was trying to say, and why I appreciate it (the concept that someone with features like Walky’s can be sexy in ways not controlled by culture trying to pigeonhole him for his body, brain, and skin as represented by the cop’s line in panel 3)
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hahahaha WALKY NOOOOOOO
dont do that ya dumbass!!! X-X
smh
Well in this case being awkward and making his conversation partner feel uncomfortable was the point
Are you kidding? That was perfect. Confusing and leveraging cop homophobia and contact discomfort. Not just drove off the cop but made him actively not want to think about what just happened. 10/10 for young Walkerton!
the butt stuff was really going over into the danger zone tho
I know this is a comic and what not, but we can’t forget that cops are basically a gov-funded street gang, dangerous fuckers who’d more often than not take that opportunity to taze em in the ass just for kicks or even worse 👀
Walky’s but has been a continuing topic of conversation. I feel he was on safe ground.
I hate to agree, but… it could just as easily have turned into that so-called “gay panic”.
Speaking of panic, though: I’m pretty sure Walky doesn’t know what’s going on but suspected that, whatever it was, adding cops would probably make things worse, so he did the first thing he could think of in his uninformed state. Fortunately, it worked.
To borrow from another webcomic: Maxim 43: “If it’s stupid and it works, it’s still stupid and you’re lucky.”
To clarify the “I hate to agree” part:if he’d been sensible, we wouldn’t’ve had this wonderful cop confusing moment.
Also, if people were sensible, this wouldn’t be
And *I* wouldn’t have screwed up the simple task of linking to Willis’ own comic. 😅
They’ll never expect this!
I replied agreeing with you. However, a perfectly chill comment got reported into moderation lmao. People are so silly.
Since my comment is stuck in waiting-for-moderation hell (as usual) despite being harmless (again as usual) here it is again!
“Yeah, I think he handled it great. Weaponized his goofball tendencies for good.”
confuse into deescalation is a tried and true method wym
It’s both an art and a science
he got the guy to flee by making him gay panic. ~<3
The origin of ”gay panic” is way darker.
Never thought I would see “~<3" following these words tbh
The meaning of the phrase has changed (the way English language does) and now encompasses someone panicking/acting awkward/getting super nervous/fleeing because they are gay.
These things happen, but I do hope everyone who uses the phrase understands the origin of it when they choose to use it.
It’s not even gay panic because it’s Walky talking about his heterosexual love affair and making it uncomfortable for the man. If he’d actually claimed to be gay and brown, it could have gotten violent.
Mind you, that’s because the absolute bottom of ACAB is the new norm.
what do you mean “new norm”?
bruh cops in our country have ALWAYS been murderous bastards
it’s only fairly recently that a significant part of the white majority actually started to catch on after decades of being conditioned by copoganda 🙄
Yeah, if you think police violence is the “new” norm you just haven’t had a reason to pay attention until recently.
If that’s what you took from what I wrote, I clearly failed to convey my point. Which is that the cop is probably racist and homophobic.
“Mind you, that’s because the absolute bottom of ACAB is the new norm.”
I’m just responding to the actual words you used.
Better than getting shot because of gay panic ig
imean he wouldn’t be lying lol, imagine if he went into details about the 2.5 girls he hooked up with haha
To hear Walky talk like that, I have to remind myself that he actually isn’t a virgin.
Cop is super rude to be like “you? You’re a joke, you don’t have a girlfriend”
Rude authority figure? Never!
You know, Walky would act the exact same if Jennifer came around to ask the same question.
… such an awkward and strange conversation.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
awkward and strange conversations are in the spirit of the holiday
Yeah, sometimes there are individual panels that feel a little awkward or ring pretty hollow, but this is the rare Entire Strip that just reads very….. Odd. (And imo tonally out of place in the story happening around it.) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Please enjoy whatever comic you are reading.
idk if it IS tonally out of place. Walky wasn’t at the protest, Walky hasn’t seen Amber since the protest, I’m pretty sure Sal’s “Ah’m no snitch” policy includes not telling her brother about his ex girlfriend’s escapades that require veterinary intervention.
I’m pretty sure Walky was intentionally being “tonally out of place”. Compare his panel 2 expression (realising he doesn’t know what’s going on, but that it’s probably best he not reveal that to the cop) with his subsequent exaggerated goofiness.
whole lotta people shocked that the guy who avoids problems with humorous non-sequitrs employed his primary and most common strategy for conflict deescalation
Walky, why’d you stop that cop? He’s genre-savvy! He would’ve actually gotten along with Amber, or at least have had an interesting interaction!
Walky knows that all cops are bastards. Not willing to take any chances.
Genre-savvy doesn’t help if they’re the bad guy!
All cops means ALL cops, man
Though I’ll admit, it’s pretty sad we have to include Major Motoko Kusanagi in that slogan.
Nah, I think she’s fine. Way I see it, just like we can stretch our imaginations to conjure Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark as billionaires who aren’t amoral monsters, so too should we be allowed to fantasize about something equally as far-fetched as a cop you can actually trust.
As long as we recognize it’s as unrealistic as being able to pick up big heavy things by one corner, or radiation giving you amazing powers instead of just cancer.
Don’t trust Walky’s butt?
That’s okay, he’s got citations.
Other cops have issues citations for his butt?
APA system citations, I hope.
(though, i’ll grudgingly accept MLA)
Keener, D. & O’Malley, A. pers. comm. 20??
(I cannot recall at this time if Lucy commented on Walky’s butt)
I’d trust Walky’s butt with my life.
… hot?
especially not in front of a cop
i dont even wanna think about all the dumbass youtubers and tiktokers who had to learn that the hard way X-X
Especially after what he has been eating.
Nozy-ass pig… donut shop’s THAT way, motherfucker.
See, I said something like this but took way longer to say it. Your version, however, is exponentially more efficient and effective. Absolute master stroke, well played.
Well thank you! 🥹
And, to be fair, your drag name is far, far better. ❤️
Ha! Never done drag, but if I ever do, guess I’ve got a name picked out for me already. Thanks for the suggestion. 😁
I compared the cops to the stormtroopers searching Mos Eisley a couple days ago and Walky just mind-tricked that guy.
He can go about his business.
this isn’t the butt you’re looking for
I think Walky’s trick was more like “This isn’t the girl you’re looking for.”
“Could a dangerous woman love a man with such a bubbly butt? I think not, good sir.”
Says the guy who doesn’t even have a name.
You know that test where you should be able to read dialogue out of context and know which character it is?
Tell me the difference between Panel 4 Walky and Joyce.
Joyce would’ve said the “d” at the end of “and”.
Also Joyce would have been serious, while Walky is deploying a strategic mindfuck.
Walky and Joyce are much more alike than either of them would ever admit. There’s a reason Dorothy fell for both of them.
Also true.
LOL that’s a good point. I could see Joyce saying that haha
Joyce wouldn’t say “Naw.”
Joyce wouldn’t say naw or sexy-sexes
she’d probably have said hanky-panky, the sex or just sex. or hell maybe she’d say something dumb like “we’re definitely both sex-havers”
Skill issue.
The sentiment is kind of Joycey — as Astariel says, Joyce and Walky are more alike than either of them are willing to admit — but it’s not at all how Joyce would say it.
Later:
Cop: “Hmm, he *did* have a nice ass . . . I wonder if he & his girl would be into a polycule?”
Happy Arbitrary Number Rolling Over Day! Hope it goes at least somewhat better than this last one.
Kinda love the characters just squicking the cops the fuck out to get them to screw off.
Welcome to another year of the stupidest dystopia.
Unfortunately, I fear you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. Wait until 2027, with ‘for sale’ signs on all federal monuments and national parks, and US military units rented out as Hessians*.
*No insult meant to any modern-day inhabitants of Hesse
It’s definitely going to get worse this year.
By 2027, we’ll know if we still live in even a nominal democracy or not. If so, Dems will almost certainly control at least one House of Congress and be able to limit the damage somewhat.
you’re saying that as though we’ll still be a single country by then o3o
arbitrary number rolling over day is honestly right
ever since Jan 2021, Ive been just thoroughly disillusioned with any notion that things magically get better for us because of some special number on the gregorian calendar
it didn’t make the pandemic any less scary or devastating to deal with, that much is certain 👀
the need to gather and celebrate to disconnect and all?
thems valid as fuck, but dont need no special day to do that, at least i sure dont
for me, a “holiday” is whenever weed, alcohol, erotic anime, video games, etc can successfully disconnect me from the taxing reality that’s living as a disabled person in California’s corporate hellscape, i dont need no rigid ass calender to tell me when that should happen XD
in the end, honestly screw new years and new years resolutions and that corny shit
if brotha MLK got anything to say about it, ANY time is the perfect time to stop living by some mythical concept of time
alright rant over, time to get stoned! XD
Not completely arbitrary. By my calculations we are about 10 years out from the singularity.
You still believe in the singularity?
The Singularity is a dream of the fascist tech bros. Damien Walter has a great video on Youtube about it, which I recommend.
If there’s gonna be any kind of singularity, it had better be the sexy robots kind. I’ll commit provable murder if the robots aren’t sexy.
These cops are hilariously pathetic. Defeated by a post-it note and a mildly awkward conversation, they’re an embarrassment to the concept of law.
I’m guessin’ they’re sensitive to bein’ on thin ice with their raid.
I think they just don’t want to do their jobs that badly
Yeah, Auld Lang Syne and all that jazz.
the Great Faz! and the Great Wen! they live!
for reals NEVER do that butt stuff in front of a cop
some of them have killed for far less
They’re also like, mega rapists. Theyre racist rapist murderers. I’m fully confident some of them freaks would try that old “buck breaking” shit
☝️☝️☝️ Very much this. I’m a cishet suburban due whose ass is pale as freshly fallen snow, so you’d think I wouldn’t be so wary around ’em… but I could only read so many news stories before coming to one inescapable conclusion. I steadfastly refuse to trust a single one of them. Finish the phrase, it’s “one bad apple spoils the whole bunch.”
*dude
Shows what that cop knows, the person who was the most similar to Walky I ever met (kinda babyfaced, lanky despite terrible diet, nerdy and a bit goofy) was also by far the most popular and sexually active man I’ve ever met.
Yeah sounds p attractive. Also reminds me of the Eddie Cochran song Skinny Jim!
https://www.eddie-cochran.com/songs/skinny-jim-song-info/
Officer Fred still hasn’t dealt with his feelings for the officer he had the hots for when they were rookies.
This is an excellent start to the new year!
Good job, Walky
So much for the cops raiding Reed ( Read? ) Hall and not Clark, so Clark Hall isn’t safe either. Hats off to Walky for stepping up and being intelligent! 😊
Happy New Year, everybody!
Read is the building. Clark is the girls’ wing. The boys are in Beck. (There are two other wings, but no one we know or care about lives there.)
Raidah, Asma (and Angie), and probably Char are Readites that don’t live on Clark 3, so maybe they’re in Curry/theotherone.
Don’t care about Raidah. Definitely don’t care about Char, whose only appearance in the last eight years was in a flashback. And I was pretty sure that Asma lived behind the front desk…
How much can these cops get away with? You’re searching the girl’s hall for Amazi-Girl right? Checking the boys rooms feels like really pushing the bounds of this likely very illegal search. I hope someone at Read has a good lawyer available.
They can call Sarah in five and a half years
Someone in Read does have a good lawyer available!
(Thank you for that link! Going off on a tangent, thanks it to I ended up reading
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/workedout/
which prompted some much-needed laughter at the line
“That’s… not a great precedent to set.”
when considered in the context of current Joyce-Dorothy interactions.)
I mean, if you’re already breaking the law…
IANAL, but this was very likely legal. It’s very reasonable to think the police asked the University (or judge, of course) for access to every hall in the dorm, not just the girls’ halls, in case the costume and such got handed off. If they had that permission, standing in one of those hallways looking through an already-wide-open door at who/what is in plain view inside is not an illegal search.
Now, the University can’t give them permission to open closed doors, enter, or search places out of plain view like closets, like they were yesterday, so THAT was an illegal search if they didn’t have the warrant I’m still annoyed Ruth didn’t more forcefully demand to see (though I get her fear).
“enter the actual rooms”, that was supposed to say.
in any case cops really dont follow laws, and here they would likely lie later and claimed these doors were already open or “smelled like marijuana” or some shit 9-9
There’s not a whole lot of difference between something being legal and something being illegal but never prosecuted.
Today, Walky also ANAL.
If it’s already illegal, I’m not sure checking the boys wing changes anything.
And there’s more than one person here with the resources and connections to bring lawyers into play.
Cop is trying to create reasonable suspicion by making Walky defensive.
Cop doesn’t realize Mr. Non-Threatening Comic Relief Guy is about to be on his third girlfriend in like a week.
Why wouldn’t girls like “non-threatening comic relief guy”?
Funny guy who isn’t scary? Certainly better than the reverse.
Eddie Valiant: “Seriously, what do you see in that guy?”
Jessica Rabbit: “He makes me laugh.”
I think “non-threatening” in this context means “not threatening to other guys”. Because toxic dudes view relationships as competitions between men where the only the strongest, manliest, alpha-est men get the girl.
people constantly wonder how Pete Davidson (assuming I got his name right) constantly beds the most consensus attractive celebrities at the height of their fame, and it’s like “I don’t know, man, have you ever tried being enjoyable to be around?” Guys think that being more attractive will solve all their problems, but it’s way easier to just be decent, safe, and a little bit fun.
Walky used awkwardly talking about sex stuff!
Its surprisingly effective!
Pretty groovy of him to invoke the classic Obfuscating Stupidity trope. He’s a good egg.
😏😏😏😏😏
They’ll never suspect that the link goes directly to TV Tropes. Yet another epic prank, don’t forget to like and subscribe.
Carla would be proud of you.
Good job, you just distracted me for a good 20 minutes with TV Tropes.
“The moment he heard Walkerton say ‘genitalia’ out loud was the moment Ron had realized he had made a significant mistake. In his day, in his career, in his life choices, the cop could feel it pierce through every one in short succession, leading him to question his very being and the path that brought him to this moment.”
Dude’s gonna move to a town with three waterfalls and start over.
So basically we’re talking about Gorham, New Hampshire or McCloud, California or Rochester, New York. Technically we might include DuPont State Forest in North Carolina were it not for the fact that the town is missing in action.
In about 7 years, California will be underwater (good riddance to Hollywood, condolences to everyone else), so that list is gonna get smaller.
so I basically gotta live as a stateless pirate for a while, is what you’re saying o3o
Cop too self aware. UNREALISTIC
I think it’s odd that cop is just randomly peeking into doors like that…
But Walky is a quick thinker and I love him. So all is well.
Reminds me of the bit from Walter Koenig’s memoir where some cops wanted to question him over a suspected case of procurement (I don’t think he was suspected, just something in his vicinity) and when hearing the topic he responded “Aw jeez, I don’t even have a girlfriend” and it came off so pathetic that the cops just looked at each other & went on their way.
What is procurement? Not familiar with US legal slang. Google shows some corporate acquisition stuff.
“Procuring” is basically legalese for pimping.
(Said he, praying that he got the HTML right.)
Yep.
Gah, cop jump scare! Just glad the homophobic reaction wasn’t a violent one.
oh my god im still worried as fuck and shakin in my boots 😖😖😖
Yeah, I don’t think Walky really understood how potentially dangerous that was.
Good job, Walky!
Also wait does this cop have Osborn hair
and a Jameson mustache.
FWEET!
Fourth Wall Violation!
Cop is rightly afraid of catching Butts Disease.
starting the year off with butts disease huh
The beginning of one year is the butt… er, end of another!
mmmmmm, butter
It’s a shame this wasn’t yesterday’s comic or you could have called it the butt-endd of the year.
Happy new year yall!
Also I won’t repeat my complaints from the patreon but in general I think this police raid sequence is not threading the needle of serious drama and necessary levity as well as I would have wished
yeah honestly the butt thing Walky did really pushin it,
but imma let Willis cook for now, specially since we have yet to see our STAR CROSSED LOVERS interact with the pigs
hella fuckin worried for them honestly
cops… aren’t exactly known for being kind to autistic folk 😖
Yeah, this is deeply uneven and it’ll be difficult to take the cops seriously if there’s another attempt at drama.
I’m kinda on the far side of that, in that I’m fine with “campus cops are kinda dorky and ineffectual” because that rings very true to life for me, but as you say it’ll be hard to make them dramatic if and when it comes to that.
Unless we see another cop established in a different tone. Which could be something in itself, because I think a lot of people have benign interactions with cops and then either think they’re all like that or just forget to have their guard up as much. Then you encounter one who has decided you should have a really bad day. (And then he calls for backup and Mr. Dorky and Ineffectual shows up and seems more intimidating now that he’s following this guy and pointing a gun…)
The problem for me is that these cops are introduced as if they’re a real threat. They’re implied to be here illegally. One is even shown bandaged, which implies he’d been hurt by AG and thus had a personal grudge.
But when they’re searching, they’re just barely interested. Like they’re just going through the motions, with no personal stake.
To be fair, there are A LOT of dorm rooms to search. They probably had more of a grudge in the first 40 rooms they went through, but after going through a couple hundred kids’ personal belongings, they’re probably starting to just get bored.
They don’t let you be a cop if you have an IQ above room temperature, so “half of them just got bored” is fully acceptable reasoning to me. I’ve never met a cop who wanted to do their job. All the one that want to be there, are usually there for the perks and benefits, i.e. bullying with impunity. Actually respecting their own processes isn’t that high on the priority table.
I could see that more if this was just routine police work, but isn’t this supposed to be personal? Them coming after AG because she beat them up?
Something that starts as “personal” can get tedious MORE quickly than something that’s a routine part of your job. Those first 40 rooms are going to be boring enough if you’re just doing the work, but if you spend the first 15 on an adrenaline high because you just KNOW you’re gonna bust the chick who kneed poor Ricky Bob in the face, the subsequent adrenaline crash is going to make the next 25 feel like water torture.
1. If I had a nickel for every time Amber was part of a scheme pretending romance, I’d have two nickels. Which is now the smallest minted US coin.
2. Happy (I dearly hope) New Year!
With Walky both times, too.
Was thinkin’ of the Danny episode for the first.
So you’d have three nickels. Far too many nickels.
omg you’re rich!
just not a rich as Mike.
Mike wasn’t rich. He was always giving nickels to everyone’s Moms. Poor fellow never could save up. (all these moms; so demanding)
I have always preferred to believe that Mike received the nickels.
Mike went both ways. Some of the mom’s paid him and he paid some of them.
Whichever way caused the most damage.
And he kept track. “I gave his mom the nickel I got from your mom.”
Just an entire nickel and banging based economy.
Meh. In this economy? “Fifteen cents” is the new “two cents.”
ahhh my favorite type of cringe, life saving cringe!
Jedi butt trick
this got an actual laugh out of me, thank you
….W O W
Walky still dealing the life as he always gets Natural 20 in Luck
Walky has enough instincts to recognize a cop looking for Amber isn’t good and he needs to run defense, and he does it in the most Walky way possible.
Important to remember that even though he lacks her rizz, he IS Sal’s twin.
Sure, but he’s forever been petrified of authority figures. If he can’t deflect he freezes.
That’s precisely why the deflecting kicks in automatically
Jennifer and Walky for the save!
He should have showed off his impressive midriff.
Today I discovered that John Ratzenberger is cast as a shitty cop in the Dumbingverse.
It seems kinda odd to me for a cop to be so surprised to see a girl in a college boy’s room, as if college students of the opposite sex never hang out in each other’s rooms, whether they’re dating or not. And while I’m glad Walky got the cop to go away, surely he could’ve talked a bit less weird to do so.
He was intentionally talking like that in order to make the cop uncomfortable, and it worked like a charm.
Have you never acted strange and off-putting in an obviously harmless way to get somebody to fuck off?
Actually, I’d never thought about it before, but no. Kinda seems like a thing that mainly happens in fiction.
Not something that happens with everybody, but something that has happened with people I know. Walky is of course the perfect type for it.
I do it a lot in public IRL, because I’ve just stopped giving a shit what strangers will think of me once I’ve turned around and they’ve despawned from existence.
There was a time when I would invite visiting Mormon youths in to witness to them about the lizard people, but I don’t do that sort of thing any more because it annoys my wife.
One time I didn’t know how to say no to a couple of proselytizing Jehovah witnesses so I agreed to meet up with them for a single bible study sermon or something and actually showed up, let them read bible shit at me and preach for probably an hour and at the end they were like “So? What do you think, do you wanna join us?” and I replied “No thank you” and left. Your lizard people thing is hilarious, if I was your wife I’d join in with a lizard costume.
I went to high school in a blue college town in the Bible Belt. We’d go and hang out downtown on Friday nights, and we’d get fundies coming in from the vast ungodless wastes around us to evangelize at the college students, and we’d entertain ourselves by harassing them.
One of my favorite tricks was when one of them approached me and put his hand out, I’d grab it in that weird two-handed clasp-shake, and say, very earnestly, “Hi, my name’s John. Have you been saved?” Which would throw them, because that was their line. And then no matter what they said, I’d tell them that if they didn’t accept Eris Discordia into their hearts, and possibly other parts of their bodies, they’d end up spending all eternity in Thud, which was kind of like Cary, but somehow even more boring.
I got exorcised more times than I can count. We exorcised them one night. We had candles and a chant we made up, and we drew a big pentagram around them on the pavement with a piece of bark from a planter. They left, so we figured it worked, which meant our gods were more powerful than theirs.
May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you for doing your part to make the world a weirder place.
These shenanigans were… gods, 14–13 B.F.S.M. The Web was still just a prototype at CERN. André the Giant was still alive. We didn’t have to disambiguate “President Bush”. Return of the Jedi was the worst Star Wars movie. David Willis had not yet started drawing Roomies!.
When we were in college, a close friend of mine became Mormon (and I got queerer and now we don’t talk anymore), so I’d learn something specific things from her. Then when missionaries came up to me on campus, I’d ask really specific questions about their religion. This often confused them. The they’d ask if I was interested in learning more about their faith, and I’d say no, it was just that one thing I was wondering about. This confused them more. (I aimed to be polite, because these were, like, my friend’s friends, but also odd because I didn’t like what they were doing.)
As an autistic person, I’m sure I’ve acted in ways that most neurotypical people consider strange and off-putting a lot, but not usually intentionally to get someone to leave.
As another autistic person, I encourage you to embrace the off-putting vibe and use it to your advantage as often as possible. You can achieve a lot that way.
It’s not something I set out to do deliberately, but by the time I realize it’s happening, it becomes a potential out to that situation, and so it gets real desirable from there.
As a different autistic person, people have probably acted as strange and “offputting” to me, but if I picked up on it at all it might have been to think the person is awesome and we get on really well and caused me to wish to befriend them more. It amuses me to think someone trying to manipulate me could have it backfire spectacularly, at least.
For starters, it hasn’t occurred to me that I could.
Now that you know, you can go forth and be weird and vaguely upsetting.
One time when I was maybe 14, I was walking down the beach at night (on vacation with my parents, I had just run off ahead of them on our way back to where we were staying) and some guy came up to me and offered me shrooms. I just babbled at him in a made up, French-inspired language with a somewhat apologetic tone and then kept going.
Now that you’re an adult (age 33 if I had to guess), you can get your own shrooms. An important milestone.
31… and not personally interested in psychedelics, but I can say that now that I’m an adult, about half my friends have done shrooms. In the future, I could go with, “None for me, thanks, but could I grab a baggie for a friend?”
Huh. For some reason I thought you were slightly older than me. Shroom-wise, I’m actually pretty curious about psychedelics lately, but my living situation doesn’t allow inebriation in the house, so it’ll be a while before I can actually try it.
Damn i gotta try shrooms sometime in the near future
It’s also noon on… I believe it is Monday, definitely a day where there are classes, so the cop might be thrown off by the fact that neither are in class, in addition to having hang out time so early on a school day. Also I remember my dorms being iffy about having someone of the opposite gender over at your place for too long. One time a dormmate’s boyfriend kept hanging at our place and my roommate seriously considered getting the RA involved because she was sick of him bumming at our place. I managed to talk her down by suggesting we talk to our dormmate before talking to the RA and it did work, he went back to… wherever the hell he lived at.
I don’t think it’s unusual for a college student to be out of classes at noon on a Monday and hanging out instead. My schedules had classes dotted all over the place rather than some kind of regimented “school day” but I know it varies by college.
My campus was pretty big so unless there was a significant gap of time between classes (like an hour), then I would just park my ass outside the next building while waiting for class to start. Also the 10 am to 2 pm block was pretty full up with classes for me, I remember that time period usually being two classes back to back.
It really depends on your major and class schedules — I remember specifically my sophomore year that my “lunch break” was about 2.5 hours, because that was the year I got obsessed with Super Metroid and would routinely speed-run it inside of that gap a couple times a week.
Like I said, this varies by college, and as Big Z said also by major and class schedule. I literally never had classes between 11-2pm because I scheduled around enjoying a nice break every day, but there were also days I just didn’t have a class some semesters.
Wouldn’t it be normal for lots of students to have no classes at noon? That is when most people tend to eat lunch.
And here is Walky, very much no eating lunch. And like I said above, I almost always had a class around 12 noon because the 10 am to 2 pm block was incredibly busy with back to back classes.
He might be going to his room to eat lunch. But also it might not be common but also not exactly rare. I mean, Walky truly is coming back to his room at this time as part of his normal schedule. I feel like I often had a decent midday break either on M/W or T/Th (not both in the same semester, but my classes were generally M/W/(F) or T/Th, and one pair of days would usually be busier than the other).
Using awkwardness to make a cop want to leave without getting arrested? Walky my boy, you are a genius. Now if only he would use that genius more often.
He knows not the potential he has. Should he ever learn to tap into the true extent of his power, he shall be unstoppable.
But then people would expect things of him and he’d have to put in effort regularly.
Who could have guessed the most heroic thing Nightguy has done was asking a cop to touch his butt?
So this whole thing was a waste of time then?
Well yeah, she’s just Walky’s girlfriend he has sex with on purpose, not a suspicious fugitive.
“You’re cop. Don’t you wanna cop one?”
Aging Cop Avoids Butt
Happy New year!
A new year with Walky’s bubble-butt to the rescue!
A butt that all the girls (and some guys) want. 😛
“I am a superhero – I save the day”
walky my fellow Just To The Side Of White Passing mixed man, god bless your charismatic willingness to just say Whatever.
Feel my firm, round butt!
While it still is. because a times a comin’ when it won’t be so round, so firm, so taught.
Oh, walky. Who knew you could be so utterly, catastrophically vicious to a fragile white male ego.
Unless she repaired it, doesn’t Amber’s closet just forcibly eject all her crimefighting junk when activated?
All of Amazi-Girl’s crimefighting junk is in Billie’s room now, not Amber’s closet, so, no.
Though you’d think just finding the secret compartment clearly designed to hide a costume and paraphernalia would be enough of a clue.
Just put some weed in there to throw ’em off the scent.
Well DONE, lad… well done!
Well played Walky, well played.
I know this is a work of fiction and none of these people are real, but my honest reaction to this fictional cop’s behavior is “fuck this fucking asshole.” Not only is he trying to barge into a room without warrant or even probable cause, and then when Walky is like “she’s with me,” this guy has the absolute gall to make a comment on Walky’s personal life and appearance?! “You seem sexually unthreatening,” and that sounds like sexual harassment, ya’ fuckin’ creep. How about you piss the Hell off, Officer Karen?
Part of what’s throwing me with this whole scene is that we don’t know what if any legal authority they’re using here. Do they have a warrant? Do they need one if the university allows them? Did the university allow them? What are the limits on what they can search, if any of this is legal?
What do they think they’re doing? Are they looking for legal evidence? Just to find and beat up Amazi-Girl? Do they know she’s injured? If they’re actually here for the vigilante who beat up a whole bunch of cops a couple days ago, including some of them, why aren’t they taking this more seriously? Do they care about finding her? What would any of these idiots do if AG was waiting behind one of these doors and had to fight her way out?
There’s no such thing as a valid warrant to search all the closets in an entire dorm. No vaguely competent judge, even in Indiana, would have signed such a thing.
Warrants have to be specific. Every closet in a dorm… ain’t that.
Willis drawing the most thumb shaped cop dear god lol, even his hairline looks like it could just be part of the thumbprint
You’ve heard of Toe Dad, get ready for Thumb Cop
Are these cops the only characters to show up on more than one strip to not get tags?
No. With only a few exceptions, unnamed characters don’t get tagged. Tags also get added retroactively when a name does get used.
Walky took offense at “sexually-unthreatening”
Walky that’s not what “fuck the police” means
This painted a grin on my face worthy of the Cheshire Cat himself. Have an internet for your contribution.
“Hey! Hey! Whatcha got in there? What is that? Is that a girl? You got a girl in there? Can I see? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?”
What a way to ring in 2026: Walky offering a touch of his firm bubble butt.
Offerin up a bubble butt is great way to start 2026!
Listen cop guy, if you ask stupid questions like “why is a girl in your room”, you’re gonna get stupid answers.
Every question a cop asks is a stupid question. Never give them an intelligent answer.
Should have taken it a step farther and mentioned pegging. The cop would have left faster, or Amber could have found an entirely new way to take out some aggression.
Why is he acting like he’s never had sex before
Because it’s funny.
I know these officers are probably just gonna be walk-on roles and we’ll never see them again, but mustache-guy deserves a name. I mean, you gave a name (‘Lon’) to the bald-headed guy who was in Malaya’s room asking his partner about Fuckface’s box.
Walky using his dorky sluttiness to get out of a police encounter is something I knew I needed, but I didn’t know just how much I needed it right this second. [gesture indicating approbation for execution]
Phrasing edit: “using his dorky sexiness to get out of a police encounter” would have better communicated what I was trying to say, and why I appreciate it (the concept that someone with features like Walky’s can be sexy in ways not controlled by culture trying to pigeonhole him for his body, brain, and skin as represented by the cop’s line in panel 3)
nice job with the “nothing at all” pose
I don’t think the cops are here for a legitimate warrant because they’d have to admit a 5’2 100lb woman beat up multiple cops.
I think I called this like, what, three years ago?
That Walky would talk about his butt to scare off a cop?
If so, nice.
Oh yeah, no, yeah, that’s totes what I meant.
awwww, sweet walky moment