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Olga Nesterova @onestpress.onestnetwork.com ⋅ 16h
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*Amber runs back to her room and destroys her hard drive before getting stabbed and reincarnated as a slime*
*…*
*wait no that would be weird*
(I was gonna say Billie would be a funnier punchline but I bet he saw them both somewhere)
The isekai reincarnation lottery is truly a gamble.
..of course, we all know that Walky’ll reincarnate into some sort of animate chicken nugget monster. ..or maybe a taco bell burrito, for that sweet sweet armor bonus?
Willis style reincarnation just involves you reincarnating into yourself with more up to date problems.
Oh gawd it’s already made the DoA comments… truly, Predator is a Bahroken ability.
Nah. Both Predator and Great Sage are pure min-max munchkin BS but not truly broken on their own… it’s the combination of the two especially in the body of a slime that is broken IMO.
They get more broken once they evolve.
Okay, you can’t tell me that for one second when Walky said “y’know, your…superhero…thing” Amber wasn’t briefly worried that he somehow knew about the terabytes of SteveXTonyXBuckyXCaptainPlanet fic she has.
I’m pretty sure that everyone knows about that, because she not only collects it, she writes it, and then makes her friends read it.
Pfft terabytes. She used multiple cloud storage servers in conjunction with each other. She has PETABYTES
Assuming two bytes per character (including punctuation and white space) and overestimating the size of formatting information in multiplying that by 4, a petabyte would mean she typed 10^47 characters of slashfic. Assuming she typed at a blazing fast 100 words per minute (with a 5-keystroke word), and that she never slowed to eat, sleep, plan out the story, do homework, go to class, go to the bathroom, or anything else, writing that much fic would have taken Amber a little over 380 nonillion years. (That’s 380 followed by 36 0s.)
Obviously her petabytes of fanfic include lots of high-resolution fanart as well.
….. oh, wait. Oops. Peta- is 10^15, not 10^50.
Fixing that gives us…. 3800 years. Still implausible.
Assuming she didn’t write a slashfic-writing neural network AI.
…..
I don’t know what’s more disturbing.
The way I automatically imagine a narrative in which some proposed, fictional AI causes the downfall of civilization….
… or the ways in which that PARTICULAR proposed AI would go about causing the downfall of civilization.
I for one welcome our new robot overlords.
When they say the internet is 90% porn, it is because of Amber.
(Actually that sounds like something you’d say a sick burn to someone you were slut shaming.)
“the terabytes of SteveXTonyXBuckyXCaptainPlanet fic she has.”
In my head-canon, that’s all true but the Bucky in question was Bucky O’ Hare.
She knows Wally already knows about her fanfic because of that conversation they had on Twitter.
they both, uhh, wear glasses I guess?
theory: confirmed
Man, imagine how impenetrable Superman’s secret identity would be if he wore glasses both as Superman AND Clark Kent.
Anytime someone suggested they might be the same person, everyone would roll their eyes because they obviously just think that because both guys wear glasses.
Honestly, nobody recognizing Superman makes way more sense when you consider that plenty of people look like other people and that Superman is a guy in his 30s with short black hair.
Oh my God, Bruce Wayne is Superman.
Ta-Dah! Sard borken.
Damn you(WILLIS!) for beating me to the reference.
What is this a reference to? Is Superman drunk? Or is it a Bizarro clone?
“Kal-El. This development was highly improbable.”
*Danny pops up from behind a flowerpot* “AHA! I KNEW there was more than one!”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/evasive/
Jacob pops out behind Danny. “Nooo, now you know my secret!”
Dina pops out behind Jacob “Is this a thing we’re doing now? I am good at this, I think.”
Faz pops out behind Dina “Yes, but Faz is Great.”
If there’s an uploaded buffer, how come comics don’t update at midnight? Is that part not automated? Is there deliberately delay to frustrate first-posters?
The website updates automatically at 12:01am per the website’s server time.
The thing is the website’s server time kind of decays, and it’s at like 12:06 or so at the moment.
If you want to keep it in sync with real time, use an ntp server. You’ll need administrator access to the server to do that. There are several ntp servers in the net, choose one and teach your server to listen to him.
I’m pretty sure DoA is hosted and Willis wouldn’t have the admin access to set up ntp properly.
That said, I’d be kind of concerned about the administration of any hosting service that couldn’t keep their time set up correctly. OTOH, they seem to do okay otherwise.
Yeah, I’d also expect a hosting service to set up ntp, that’s why I suspected that it’s not done by a hosting service. But I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much here.
My own experience suggests that unless you’re using a VPS or a private server you’re not going to have access to NTP because like any process it eats some amount of system resources that can be used for things with more demand. Web hosting in particular isn’t usually concerned with 100% accurate time because it’s not commonly [i]that[/i] important in the process of storing and serving up requested pages even on forums (which display post times).
ntpd takes very little resources.
The server clock drifts.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.
Unless you’re using an atomic clock [interconnected networks of which are the basis for determining standardized time], there’s typically some degree of noticeable drift to any timepiece. For computers, which aren’t meant to function foremost as timekeeping devices, this can be rather noticeable [ie, more than just a few seconds off each year].
Hence, when connecting to any site, you have to keep in mind both that the server may be off a bit and that your own local clock may be off a bit. Those two elements can lead to just enough of a disconnect that it upsets any plans you may have had (but in the end, we’re still talking about a few seconds to a handful of minutes at most, unless the drifts in question are unusually extreme and/or the computers in question are significantly [ie, years] behind in having their times manually updated or automatically synced).
To sum up, the first thing you should always consider is confirming that your local time is set correctly and that automatic syncing is still enabled (the settings for which can be easily found through the Adjust Date/Time screen after right clicking on your computer clock). After that, it’s just a matter of determining what the server time is currently at, since any drift the server has won’t lead to a noticeable difference over a short period of time, meaning you can fairly naturally match up to adjusting for each second of change as it gets added on.
Or you can just look at your cellphone, which is almost certainly being updated with networked time. And Willis already confirmed that his server is off by at least 5 minutes.
The real question is, did Walky ever try that whole power suit thing?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/reporter/
Nope, Dorothy wouldn’t let him shave his head.
Amber? Amber might… but she probably wouldn’t let him be a super-villain…
*plays “Karma Chameleon” on the hacked Muzak*
Oh right, comments with multiple hyperlinks do weird things. The point is the answer to Walky’s question is, “only twice”.
Are we supposed to know what this deepest darkest secret is?
I think it’s that she stabbed his sister
Or perhaps even her rage issues and possible abusive tendencies she’s been actively suppressing. That pairs pretty well with the sister stabbing.
It might be of a “stabbed your sister” nature.
Or possibly a “superhero thing is actually a case of multiple personalities, and they don’t agree super well”
Who says Amber can’t have more than one?
Actually I just realized it’s none of that but the literal terabyte of Captain America x Bucky slash fiction she’s wrote. Not all of it’s good.
Do we have a basis to assume ANY of Amber’s fanfiction is good?
Panel 4 says “Yes”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/au/
Circumstantial. That just means her fanfic gets Danny and Ethan’s motor running, if you know what I mean. winky-face emoji.
Also that she bumped up his grades, which will get him expelled if they get busted.
@ Kris – He knows about that. He’s seen her twitter.
Now the guro fic on the other hand…
He knows about the grade thing. Also, it could get him in big trouble, but I have my doubts he’d get expelled.
A. It’d mean the school would have to acknowledge a major fuckup on their part that, unlike with something like plagiarism in school papers, isn’t likely to come back to bite them. It’d be a real bad look for the school.
B. Linda’s connection to the Dean means strings would likely be pulled, getting Walky a slap on the wrist at best.
It’s not likely to get discovered, anyway. Only person who gave a shit about Walky’s grades on faculty is slinging suds at Galasso’s now.
If it is discovered, it does weaken any potential case that Jason might have that he didn’t show any favoritism to Sal.
No he doesn’t, he changed his mind about it at the last minute and left but she ignored him and continued on in his absence.
What fuckup is that? Amber’s the one who changed the grades by hacking the school system. That’s on Amber, not the school. And Jason wasn’t fired for Walky’s grades, it was for banging a student (something he actually did).
Well, if they realize the grades were changed, but don’t know how, they might blame the one who was busted for sex with his sister.
If they’re able to find the grades were changed, it shouldn’t be too hard to find out when. That would date it after Jason got canned.
They never found out it was sal.
That’s not quite clear. Jason was told if he wanted to dispute it, he’d have to talk to the tribunal with the affected student. Penny didn’t know they were really banging, but she may have given Sal’s name if she was the other TA that Jason asked to mark Sal’s stuff.
Personally, I don’t think they have a name, but regardless, the school’s unlikely to let Walky off the hook even in this scenario. That doesn’t sound like ‘The guy banging your sister changed your grade to throw us off’ it sounds like ‘your sister got her boyfriend to up your grade, you cheater.’
Never mind, just double checked and Jason did say they don’t know it was Sal.
If they notice the grade change they might think Jason was sleeping with Walky. He was tutoring him before he got outed as sleeping with a student
Well, there was the time she beat her dad unconscious. And the time she stabbed her boyfriend’s sister. And the time she tried to provoke her boyfriend’s sister into fighting her for no good reason. And the time she dated Danny. And the time she was in a web porno. With Danny.
Wait, when was Amber in a web porno? I thought that was Joe and Roz, with the camera attached to Danny’s sleeping foot.
It’s a joke about the slipshines.
And the second time she was in a web porno. With Danny. And the time her AU self was in a web porno. With Mike.
Amber’s secretly an alien from Krypton sent to Earth as a baby when her planet was destroyed.
Remember kids! The key to any good relationship is the strong foundation of secrets they’re built upon!
Is Walky thinking of Billie?
Maybe?
She shares two criteria that Walky seems to like in women he’s found attractive: she wears glasses and Danny found her attractive.
My money is on the Sensitive Scanner.
And if Dorothy ever finds out he will bury that shame even deeper than his past as a mouse boy.
What’s the Sensitive Scanner?
My first thought was it’s Dorothy.
It’s a character in Dexter and Monkey Master.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/sensitive-scanner/
Only 3 come up.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/ruthless/
I think is the only one where he MIGHT have seen both of them at once.
There’s also this one a couple pages ahead, where they’re standing next to each other.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/backlog/
But Walky was absolutely blitzed at the time, so there’s a solid chance he doesn’t remember that.
“There’s also this one [..] where they’re standing next to each other. [..] But Walky was absolutely blitzed at the time”
Clearly, he was seeing double.
Alright you got her. She really is secretly Ruth.
Remove the glasses and voila ! it was Dotty all along
Walky confirmed red green colorblind
Oh, PLEASE tell him that secret, Amber. I want an excuse to make popcorn!
Today sucked, but this strip makes me cackle.
hey, now that I think about it, we never saw her and fuckface in the same room
And now I’m picturing various characters walking around with Amber sitting on their heads.
my first crush was mewtwo when i was 8
Wednesday Addams for me. One of my friends had a big crush on Lucario when she was younger, so no judgments from me.
this is my favorite answer by far
Especially combined with that gravatar.
One of the white blood cells in a Belgian cartoon about the body. She piloted a spaceship and was pretty similar in style to Laureline in the Valérian.
(and being reminded of that, incidentally, makes me look at my chosen career as a cell biologist in a new light).
Psi is really nice, and competent, and pretty, and confident… what’s not to love ?
Also, I have to point out that the cartoon is French, not Belgian. It would be a source of real pride for me if it was Belgian (it has been watched by pretty much every kid of the 90’s around here, everybody knows it), but it ain’t.
PSI, that was her name! She piloted a B lymphocytes. I have to rewatch it.
What? The one time I assume a french-speaking cartoon is NOT french i get it wrong? I thought I finally cracked the code.
Honestly, there are very few Belgian(-made) cartoons. Tintin is a Belgian hero, but the cartoon was made by a French studio, same for Spirou or Lucky Luke (and its spinoffs). The Smurfs, in their time, were sold to Hanna-Barbera…
Basically, if animation is well-liked (and alive) in Belgium, it’s mostly small-scale creations, of which most people (and even less non-Belgians) have never heard of.
Aaaaaah! But Spirou and Gaston as COMICS are Belgian, right?
Yup, they are. They’re also colleagues ^^
Fantasio is Gaston’s coworker (to his never ending nerve shattering).
Totally right. I should have been clearer and say that Spirou works at the same place, even if he has (a lot) less panel time in Gaston than Fantasio.
Amber, I don’t think Walky would mind that you were in a hostage scenario and stabbed Sal’s hand because of your dad’s bullying. He would be angry if you like Ultra Car though.
oh walky
I feel like this moment is illustrating how little they know of each other outside of basic knowledge. Not saying this ship is destined to sink, I’m just saying I wouldn’t put any bets down on them either.
I love you, Walky.
I was scared that these too would actually be super cute together.
They are.
Amber is Ruthless…both have superstrength, both have never been seen together, and both wear glasses.
Amber is Ruthless confirmed!
Wasn’t there a moment when AG carries Billie off before she tried to fight Ruth?
Yes, but this was AG, not Amber!
At least at that time Sal was under the Amazi-Girl mask.
And now you know the reason why Billie thinks: Sal is Amazi-Girl.
Don’t quote me on that but I think Ruth was around when Amber whooped her father in the dorms and then ran away.
Also the party at Joyce’s
Go oooon…
Ruth and Amber are one person phasing back and forth so quickly that she creates the illusion that there’s two separate people, just like the Olsen twin.
Who was Amber’s first crush anyway? Spiderman?
Ethan? Aka the only person who threaten her like a human being?
That’s just an Unfortunate typo.
Yeah, Sal was the only person who threaten her like a human being.
Ah right, that old shoe that’s about to fall off any day now.
Also, clearly Amber’s third identity is Other Rachel.
Oh jeez, just look at all of Amber’s super stressed expressions yesterday and today. Hang in there, Amber!
She looks more like Rose though.
Both Rose and Amber are color names as well.
There’s kind of a reason for that? Or maybe two? But they’re a whole universe away, and I’m cautious of importing either of them into this one.
Ohhhh…. I’m totally shipping Walky and Ruthless. Especially if Ruthless has no idea about it.
Ruthless is heading down the hallway. Walky pokes his head out of a random doorway, but keeping himself mostly concealed.
Walky: “I know who your secret identity is, and I think you’re hot!”
Ruthless is startled, and just stares. Walky stares back. Ruth has no words… then thinks it’s best to not respond, and turns and slowly walks away. Walky continues to watch from behind his cover.
Could be an ongoing storyline that never progresses any further than that!
I think Walky might be joking about Amber=Ruthless. …But with Walky, you never really know.
shoot, it’s entirely possible Amber doesn’t know Amber’s deepest, darkest secret.
The last fucking panel had me bust out laughing in my freaking office haha
The progression on Amber’s face from happy, to a little concerned to puzzled concerned to Oh Shit to angry denial. Great work.
Now I wanna know who his first crush was!! And I bet we won’t find out. Dangit!
Dorothy.
walky’s expression in the last panel is adorable