Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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stay up all night, tellin' manly stories, and in the mornin', i'm makin' WAFFLES
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June 1, 2026

Over, finished

by David M Willis on June 21, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Vote for Robin
└ Tags: joyce

Discussion (110) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 21, 2019 at 12:01 am | #

    then later that night…

    …

    Ceiling Cat watches her masticate

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 21, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

      Blowjob Cat watches us always.

      • Clif
        Clif
        June 21, 2019 at 6:25 pm | #

        I just want to know who names their donkey Waffles.

    • No Name
      No Name
      June 21, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

      I can’t tell if that’s auto-correct, a typo, or you really did mean “chew”. I’m going with option three.

      • Michael Lanting
        Michael Lanting
        June 21, 2019 at 12:41 am | #

        Seeing this is Joyce we’re talking about, I think this was intentional and not auto-correct.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        June 21, 2019 at 1:06 am | #

        (Whispers) “Your epidermis is showing!”

        Also, Joyce is secretly a philatelist.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          June 21, 2019 at 1:15 am | #

          She loves tax exemptions? Who doesn’t?

          • Marsh Maryrose
            Marsh Maryrose
            June 21, 2019 at 1:25 am | #

            One of the greatest campaign speeches of all time.

            “His parents not only permitted him to masticate excessively in their presence, but even urged him to do so.”

        • The Other Mike
          The Other Mike
          June 21, 2019 at 6:26 am | #

          Next thing you know, she’ll come out as a practicing thespian.

          • Wizard
            Wizard
            June 21, 2019 at 11:26 am | #

            Wouldn’t surprise me. She has already matriculated in college.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 21, 2019 at 3:04 pm | #

      But since she is the youngest, she may not have ever perambulated a child on a public street.

  2. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 21, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh, Joyce, honey…

  3. ValdVin
    ValdVin
    June 21, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

    “My donkey didn’t even start to talk”? Did she get a new, perhaps magical, plushie while we weren’t paying attention?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 21, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

      She named it Balaam.

      • Eric Burns
        Eric Burns
        June 23, 2019 at 5:08 am | #

        Worse. Far worse. She named it Ollie.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      June 21, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

      Everyone gets a loss of faith donkey. Comes with the Rich Mullins dreams.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 21, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      When this came up on Patreon, my mind immediately went to Numbers 22:28. I am ashamed to admit that Shrek never occurred to me.

      • GoblinScribe
        GoblinScribe
        June 21, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

        I was thinking of the caterpillar from Veggie Tales, weirdly enough.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          June 21, 2019 at 2:13 am | #

          Even though I grew up on Sid & Marty Krofft, what little I’ve seen of Veggie Tales seems weird and trippy to me.

          • Charlie Spencer
            Charlie Spencer
            June 21, 2019 at 7:04 am | #

            Sid and Marty? Thanks, I need the occasional reminder I’m not the only Boomer around here.

    • Bunny
      Bunny
      June 21, 2019 at 12:46 am | #

      Donkey=Ass

      • Terry
        Terry
        June 21, 2019 at 9:54 am | #

        So in modern day, when you skip church, your butt starts to talk? Does this mean that regular church goers don’t fart?

    • Sunmaster57
      Sunmaster57
      June 21, 2019 at 7:20 pm | #

      a homage to “Wonderfalls”???

  4. BBCC
    BBCC
    June 21, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    Aw, hon, this’ll feel liberating some day.

    One hopes anyways.

  5. Kern Wallace
    Kern Wallace
    June 21, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    You could say she’s having a…

    Doki Doki Panic.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      June 21, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

      NO

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        June 21, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

        Your reaction is worth a thousand strips, thank you.

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      June 21, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

      Could be worse. Could be a Colonel Panic.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        June 21, 2019 at 12:22 am | #

        Wouldn’t be the first time she’s needed rebooting.

    • vlademir1
      vlademir1
      June 21, 2019 at 12:47 am | #

      She has no reason to Doko Doki Panic. These aren’t Doki Doki School Hours and she hasn’t joined the Doki Doki Literature Club, that said, depending on the particular flavor of worship service Joyce is used to it could still be Doki Doki Morning so let’s see if that can’t be cued up on the hacked muzak.

      • LeslieBean4shizzle
        LeslieBean4shizzle
        June 21, 2019 at 1:46 am | #

        **claps**
        Bravo.

    • JBento
      JBento
      June 21, 2019 at 7:19 am | #

      Donkey Donkey Panic?

  6. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    June 21, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Joyce, you don’t have to take your pulse. YOU HAVE A FITBIT.

    • Bathymetheus
      Bathymetheus
      June 21, 2019 at 12:55 am | #

      I rather suspect that this scene is fairly directly autobiographical. I’m not sure what year Mr. Willis did this, but a regular wrist watch – NOT a Fitbit – seems most likely.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 21, 2019 at 2:03 am | #

        That looks like her “fitness watch that tells you fitness things”, probably a Ruttech version of a FitBit.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          June 21, 2019 at 2:26 am | #

          Ninja’d again by asynchronous network transmission! Curse you, asynchronous network transmission!

      • Jamie
        Jamie
        June 21, 2019 at 2:04 am | #

        Willis keeps his buffer full, but not THAT full. This would have been drawn around January of 2019 or so, give or take a few months. More than enough time to have heard of Fitbits.

        Also, I’m pretty sure Joyce’s Fitbit has been explicitly discussed, but I’m too lazy to archive binge for it.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          June 21, 2019 at 2:19 am | #

          She’s got one of those fitness watches that tell you fitness things! Go, fitness conquistador, go!

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 21, 2019 at 7:13 am | #

          I think that’s “when Willis did this” in the sense of checking his heart rate when he first skipped church back in the day, not when he drew this strip.
          Under the assumption this bit is autobiographical.

          • Bathymetheus
            Bathymetheus
            June 21, 2019 at 7:54 am | #

            Yes.

  7. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    June 21, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Joyce taking her lack of donkey, talking or otherwise, in stride

  8. Shiro
    Shiro
    June 21, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Joyce, your what? Is that a reference I’m missing?

    • CoffeeBurps
      CoffeeBurps
      June 21, 2019 at 12:16 am | #

      Its an Old Testament story of a guy who decided to not do what God told him and eventually his donkey started yelling at him to get his shit together.

      • McBogue
        McBogue
        June 21, 2019 at 12:41 am | #

        So you’re saying that God was talking out of his ass?

        • Hoboturtle
          Hoboturtle
          June 21, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

          *clap* *clap*

        • StClair
          StClair
          June 21, 2019 at 1:00 am | #

          *joins the clapping*

        • Masumi
          Masumi
          June 21, 2019 at 3:50 am | #

          OMG
          *standing ovations*

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          June 21, 2019 at 8:32 am | #

          Or out of Her bush. Which is on fire, ’cause it’s hot.

        • BarerMender
          BarerMender
          June 21, 2019 at 10:03 am | #

          Not God. God sent an angel to talk out Balaam’s ass.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            June 22, 2019 at 12:04 pm | #

            Some angel-jobs are less glamorous than other angel-jobs.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 22, 2019 at 12:05 pm | #

        Some of Gods signs are mysterious and open to multiple interpretations.

        Other are… fairly straight forward.

  9. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 21, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    Did Willis leggo his Eggo or something that morning?
    *plays “Breakfast In America” on the hacked Muzak*

    • No Name
      No Name
      June 21, 2019 at 12:36 am | #

      That (the title text) is one of Donkey’s lines in Shrek, when Donkey pesters the titular ogre into letting Donkey stay.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 21, 2019 at 2:20 am | #

        Donkey’s voiced by Eddie Murphy, who I’ve always assumed had to exercise all the self control he could muster to keep it clean for a kids’ movie.

        He also took a crack at a singing career, where he tried to emulate Lionel Ritchie for some reason.

        • Wizard
          Wizard
          June 21, 2019 at 11:33 am | #

          And recorded a song about putting stuff in people’s butts.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            June 21, 2019 at 5:41 pm | #

            Honestly he should have done more fun, nonsense, “Boogie in Your Butt” music; I don’t think 1985 America was ready to take him seriously.

  10. ARoseJess
    ARoseJess
    June 21, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

    Sad…but that’s me the first time I skipped a college class…(*spoiler* it would NOT be the last time, and no, it did not turn out well)

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 21, 2019 at 12:12 am | #

      I went to a massive school, and there were lectures with a few hundred students so they never took attendance, and the slides were online, and it’s not like you can ask questions in a lecture that big anyway.

      Might as well sleep in. 7:30 AM is no time for learning.

      • vlademir1
        vlademir1
        June 21, 2019 at 1:04 am | #

        Nah, 7:30 am is a great time for learning, just not in an entry level dumb lecture class.

        It’s the 2:30pm one that eats your soul… especially when your boss keeps scheduling you at 3pm and trying to write you up for being late when you show up at 5pm even though your availability doesn’t start until 4:30. OK, yeah, I’m still bitter about that jerkoff twenty years on since he set a tone for the type of stupidity I could expect in the workplace. Same dumbass used to also salute me in the NSDAP style as I walked into work because black trench coat and combat boots… it was 1998, that was sorta the style, well before April of ’99 anyway.

        • Marsh Maryrose
          Marsh Maryrose
          June 21, 2019 at 1:11 am | #

          His salute truly invoked Popehat’s
          Rule of Goats.

          • hof1991
            hof1991
            June 21, 2019 at 12:07 pm | #

            The narrow Venn Diagram of Popehat and Dumbing of Age followers.

  11. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    June 21, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

    Well Joyce, being worried over something tends to cause an elevated heart rate and I’d say expecting angry angels or a talking donkey would do it. Now what is her heart rate going to look like if Becky/her mom/anyone asks how church was and she doesn’t have an answer?

    • Ophidiophile
      Ophidiophile
      June 21, 2019 at 1:31 am | #

      Nothing bad happened. And the longer nothing happens, the more she’s going to worry about the really bad things that could happen, because she knows that the universe won’t just ignore her not going to church. That’s how anxiety works.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 21, 2019 at 1:51 am | #

      And now I really need to start a band just so I can name it “Expecting Angry Angels.”

  12. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    June 21, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

    Many rules are there to provide structure. Living outside of it, without any consequence, it’s odd. Part of growing up.

  13. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    June 21, 2019 at 12:14 am | #

    I’m wondering what her reaction is going to be as she starts testing her beliefs and finds everything she’s afraid of doesn’t happen. ill she be happy? Relieved? Angry? Sad? A combination of the above?

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      June 21, 2019 at 2:08 am | #

      Current evidence is trending towards “Panicked.”

    • Felian
      Felian
      June 21, 2019 at 12:23 pm | #

      unfortunately, christianity is smarter than that and promises you thing that you won’t find out before your earthly life is over. You may feel fine but then you’ll end up in hell, and since you can’t disprove that, you better believe…..
      even after years of content atheism, there’s still this tiny nag of doubt of “but what if i die and find there IS a hell with biblical entry criteria?” …. well played, christianity, permanent dread instilled early on!

  14. Darkoneko
    Darkoneko
    June 21, 2019 at 12:19 am | #

    Her donkey didn’t what now

  15. Sean Dillon
    Sean Dillon
    June 21, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

    I didn’t know Joyce was a fan of William S Burroughs.

  16. ian livs
    ian livs
    June 21, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

    Oh wow, it’s been *forever* since I heard a Balaam reference. I was starting to think I imagined that… admittedly weird story.

    • motorfirebox
      motorfirebox
      June 21, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

      A weird story? In the squirrelly depths of the OT? That’s crazy talk. Next you’re gonna tell me there was a dude so fat that when somebody stabbed him, the sword disappeared into his fat rolls.

      • Marsh Maryrose
        Marsh Maryrose
        June 21, 2019 at 12:41 am | #

        Or a dude who was teased by some kids for being bald, so God sent a bear to eviscerate those miscreants.

  17. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    June 21, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

    Never had a talking donkey, but I’ve had a really shouty ass.

    • Catman
      Catman
      June 21, 2019 at 6:37 am | #

      I keep trying to evade worshiping the lord but the shouting of my ass keeps alerting him to my presence

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 21, 2019 at 3:36 pm | #

        You are eating far too much broccoli.

  18. Vukodlak
    Vukodlak
    June 21, 2019 at 12:32 am | #

    She took missing church better then Orel did.

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      June 21, 2019 at 12:41 am | #

      I know that. Poor Orel hat an epiphany and his father forced him to forget it. It’s okay to have spirituality, but it isn’t okay to follow restrictive dogmas that harm you and others.

  19. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    June 21, 2019 at 12:44 am | #

    Well Joyce, now you can use your Sunday for whatever you want. Watch cartoons, write erotic fanfictions, eat pizza without mixed toppings, fantasize about Doro-Okay that one not really unless you want.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      June 21, 2019 at 10:07 am | #

      Orgasms. I recommend them.

  20. Prismark
    Prismark
    June 21, 2019 at 12:51 am | #

    or maybe it is Puzzle from CS Lewis, “The Last Battle”? Is it the end of Time when Joyce stops believing?

  21. StClair
    StClair
    June 21, 2019 at 1:01 am | #

    Loving that alt text.

  22. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    June 21, 2019 at 1:13 am | #

    Don’t take a pulse with yout thumb, Joyce. It doesn’t matter here, but it is bad practice and you ought to avoid it in case you ever have to take someone else’s pulse.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 21, 2019 at 1:29 am | #

      Yeah, you’re actually meant to use your teeth. Me da told me.

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      June 21, 2019 at 7:52 am | #

      Yeah, apparently you Humans have a different pulse in your thumbs or something like that. Either way, you don’t read it right with your thumb…

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 21, 2019 at 10:51 am | #

        It’s same pulse, it’s just that you risk confusing the pulsing in your thumb and the pulsing you’re supposed to be checking.

  23. William Leonard Reese Jr.
    William Leonard Reese Jr.
    June 21, 2019 at 1:21 am | #

    . . . .And now I don’t think Joyce has ever felt more relatable then right now. I can’t tell you just when I crossed this line myself but whoo boy do I remember that feeling.

  24. Lingo
    Lingo
    June 21, 2019 at 1:24 am | #

    Thanks everyone for explaining the references! They were all over my head today.

  25. Kyoulkoa
    Kyoulkoa
    June 21, 2019 at 1:50 am | #

    Privacy chairs, only effective against supernatural beings
    Absolutely useless against college peers

  26. Arianod
    Arianod
    June 21, 2019 at 2:08 am | #

    You’re doing amazing, sweetie.

  27. Keulen
    Keulen
    June 21, 2019 at 3:12 am | #

    No talking donkey? Well, the day’s not even ogre yet.

  28. Screwball
    Screwball
    June 21, 2019 at 3:23 am | #

    *Ran out of time looking for anyone else who noticed she’s taking her pulse with her thumb. Humans shouldn’t take their pulse with their thumb, it has a pulse of its own apparently. Can’t do it like that on us Cybertronians…*

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 21, 2019 at 8:30 am | #

      I imagine you just have some sort of HUD that displays your current level of Cybertronium?

  29. Falcon
    Falcon
    June 21, 2019 at 3:44 am | #

    Joyce’s heart rate is worrisome. She doesn’t feel any different. These are pretty close to mutually exclusive facts.

  30. JBento
    JBento
    June 21, 2019 at 7:17 am | #

    I feel that if your metric for if something is bad is that your donkey starts talking, that gives a lot of leeway.

  31. Vulcanodon
    Vulcanodon
    June 21, 2019 at 7:45 am | #

    When you don’t feel God in prayer and church is your only contact with Him, this feels like a big step. She’s going to be thinking about it for a long time.

  32. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    June 21, 2019 at 8:27 am | #

    Damn you, Willis! How did you know?? What secret spies told you about my Sat/Sun Midnight Waffle schemes??

    Time for a pogrom of my inner circle again… I lose more brain cells that way…

  33. Damoncord
    Damoncord
    June 21, 2019 at 8:46 am | #

    I love how she doesn’t know that her thumb will give her a false reading on her pulse.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 21, 2019 at 3:41 pm | #

      It wouldn’t give a false reading of her own pulse, but would if she was trying to take anybody else’s.

  34. Sunny
    Sunny
    June 21, 2019 at 8:49 am | #

    Well, of course. Waffles are awesome!

  35. Lacuna
    Lacuna
    June 21, 2019 at 10:17 am | #

    …is it bad that I immediately assumed that “donkey” was a Joyce-euphemism for her vagina?

    • John
      John
      June 21, 2019 at 11:19 am | #

      No, just weird. It’s obviously her euphemism for her butt.

      • ShinyNeen
        ShinyNeen
        June 21, 2019 at 11:52 am | #

        Right. She’s talking about her caboodle, and not her capoodle.

        … At least her euphemisms are getting a little easier to parse over time.

  36. Jenny Islander
    Jenny Islander
    June 21, 2019 at 10:35 am | #

    My mainline self is sitting over here wondering at being so terrified over…not going to church. Like it’s an exam you have to pass every week, or a button you must push on time to keep the smoke monster from getting out, instead of a thing people do together to help one another stay focused and grounded.

    Oh honey. What an awful way to live.

  37. ischemgeek
    ischemgeek
    June 21, 2019 at 11:14 am | #

    Joyce reminds me of the first time I blew off class in uni…

    Yeah I was that straight-laced.

    The world didn’t blow up and I had time to finish my physics homework (yep I cut a shitty bio class to do homework. Truly I was a Paragon of Rebellion), I didn’t spontaneously combust from stress, and that class was boring and introduced me to literally no new content (yay living in a fucking creationist paradise region so first year uni teaches everything HS should have but didn’t) so it wasn’t like I was missing anything worth seeing.

  38. Dave
    Dave
    June 21, 2019 at 11:46 am | #

    Moments later, Joyce would be given the worst case of indigestion she’s ever had.

  39. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    June 21, 2019 at 11:54 am | #

    An important realization. But not a happy one. That’s not fair : (

  40. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 21, 2019 at 12:32 pm | #

    All this donkey talk sounds like something Dante Alighieri would’ve wrote.

  41. wakeangel2001
    wakeangel2001
    June 21, 2019 at 1:09 pm | #

    somebody better talk to her, I’ve heard pretty bad stories about extremely religious people falling into VERY bad situations after de-converting. I think it has to do with the whole “I’ve been lied to about THIS, so they must have lied to me about all of THESE too” mentality, and the “these” can include everything from mainstream hollywood movies (remember her parents disapproved of Frozen) to drugs and gangs and all kinds of self destructive stuff.

    Seriously people, don’t lie to your kids, nothing good comes from lies…

  42. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 22, 2019 at 12:07 pm | #

    In my fanfiction, Sierra walks by and gives Joyce a hug.

    … I really think Joyce should get a hug.

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