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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net ⋅ 10h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 1dDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 22d
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“DON’T WASTE FOOD, WOMAN”
*Robin picks up the lollipop and sticks it back in her mouth*
Joyce picks it up off the floor and takes a lick. “There. Now do you see I mean business?”
Everyone takes a step back
Lol!
Then Joyce’s head explodes.
DON’T WASTE FOOD, WOMAN”
*Robin picks up the lollipop and sticks it back in her mouth*
Joyce pulls it out of Robin’s mouth and takes a lick. “There. Now do you see I mean business?”
Everyone takes a step back
Because Joyce’s head exploded?
So Robin is Kyoko now?
5 second rule.
Doesn’t apply to a wet lollipop if that’s carpet.
I’m reminded of an RPG session in college. I was one of two spectators. The other spectator had a bag of hard candy. This was before all hard candy were individually wrapped, and these weren’t. Throughout the game, they tossed a candy to each person who had their character do something amusing. There were over a dozen players, so there was a fair amount of time between each player declaring their actions, and most of them were serious actions.
One individual kept up a steady enough stream of humorous actions that he needed to crunch the hard candy he was eating to be able to consume it at the rate he was being given it. This wasn’t a problem for him. He also apparently had used dexterity as a real life dump stat, because he fumbled every candy, and it fell onto the floor. But he was apparently a big believer in the 5 second rule, because he picked them up without hesitation and popped them in his mouth each time. He may have even quoted the five second rule after someone made a comment about this early on.
To be honest, I didn’t feel like the five second rule should apply, because we were in a lecture hall in the evening after classes but before janitorial services. It was not clear that janitorial services were a daily thing. In fact, I don’t think they were, because there hadn’t been snow on the ground that day, but the floor was still visibly dirty from the day before when there had been.
If you roll enough D20s, you will sooner or later get a natural 20. And eventually he managed to actually catch one of the candies. He put it in his mouth. A moment later, he stated, “This one tastes funny.”
Another player laughed and asserted, “That’s the only one that *didn’t* fall on the floor!”
He took the wet candy out of his mouth, rolled it on the floor a bit and put it back in. “Ok, now it tastes right.”
While that wasn’t a carpetted floor, I don’t think he would’ve had a problem with carpet.
ajdsgdfasdhjhasdfgkasfkfghjasdfga
“Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.”
– Linus van Pelt
arrested for Candy Crimez™
Isn’t this how John Wick started?
Spit it out, Robin!
Robin’s “You are the worst person I know” and “I know Ted Cruz” are hilariously off-kilter.
Give her some credit, that’s a solid burn.
I was thinking the same thing. That is a quality joke.
At least she didn’t compare Joyce to Mitch McConnell. That’s the kind of burn that makes you reassess your life.
Absolutely. Cruz is one of my senators.
The other one ain’t so hot, either.
Ignited Thermite-level solid. Seriously, Donald Trump is president because of that guy…Him and the rest of Capital Hill, but last I checked, blend in with a crowd and you have ethical diplomatic immunity……
The only appropriate response is that still frame from the porno his twitter account liked a couple years ago, with the shocked-looking blonde lady in the red shirt and glasses.
Agreed!
She’s clocked before and she’ll clock again if not stopped!
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
As long as it isn’t digital, then it is just blank.
C’mon Joyce, the candy was completely innocent here. Truly Joyce is embracing the dark side, it also explains her uncanny ability to be wherever she wants regardless of physics.
That’s irrelevant, Robin. Ted Cruz isn’t a person, but rather a colony of void crabs wearing a skinsuit.
Shame they couldn’t find a more convincing one.
Or maybe it’s a shame that the one they found was as convincing as it is.
https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/
“Ted Cruz is only one being and not several.” -Guy Manderson
“I have seen many people and Ted Cruz is one of them” -Firstname Lastname
Honestly that last one is probably the best endorsement I could muster for him too.
So he should just use “Ted Cruz is people” as a campaign slogan in the future?
honestly it’s impressive a colony of crabs managed to be the Zodiac Killer AND become a politician.
Ambassador Kosh approves.
Always upthumbing for B5 refs.
AAAH DOPPELGANGER
Not crabs. Crab lice.
I knew it! The lollipop fight is on!
Does a lollipop fight include a sucker punch?
Where’s an upvote button when you need one?
Pfft. Joyce, when someone’s saying you’re worse than Ted Cruz, it’s time to chill out a little and use your words.
To be fair, Robin is being infuriatingly vague and Joyce has no reason to trust her.
Yes, but on the other had Joyce is being bizarrely presumptuous and Robin has no good reason to divulge Becky’s secure location to anyone.
Joyce was once convinced that God had put her in charge, and now she seems to think that God died and left her in charge. No-one else has any reason to recognise her universal authority.
She doesn’t have to disclose her secure location but saying she’s in one would be a good start.
As Ivy points out, Joyce is not giving Robin a fair chance to say anything. She has stormed in full of ignorance, presumption, and self-righteous indignation, and is shouting vague accusations.
She DID give Robin a chance to answer. Twice. Second and third panel have Robin answering. Saying “Woah, chill, Becky’s fine, I’m protecting her from her dad” wouldn’t really take more time than what she says on panel two.
Panel 2 also has Robin offer to sit down and presumably give a more concrete explanation though. Which is usually necessary in situations like this, as the exact details matter. Only Joyce is too much in outraged protective mode to listen and seemingly refuses to accept anything other than immediate access to Becky.
I’m pretty sure that’s what Robin intended, but I think what Joyce hears is more dismissive “Jeez, sit down kid, she’s fine.’ and it doesn’t actually clarify whether Robin is helping Becky or ‘helping’ Becky a la Toedad. Even saying ‘I gave her a head’s up’ in panel two or three would’ve clarified more.
I mean, Joyce is also very much not acting logically here. She’s incredibly worried about her best friend, all-but panicking, and trying to sort things out as best she can.
She’s not handling this as best she can, but I’m not blaming her. Logic can be fucking hard when you’re pretty much mid-panic attack. She’s a human and she’s allowed to lose control sometimes.
I should also note Joyce doesn’t seem to be aware of Robin’s coming out and political about-face, and given her experiences with toedad and Carol lately she is primed to think worst case scenario.
…except that “storming in full of ignorance, presumption, and self-righteous indignation, and is shouting vague accusations” is how her family’s religious group acts, and she’s channelling that. She’s very newly deconverted and the habits of a lifetime are hard to break.
But it’s incredibly rude, and Robin is dealing with the crazy person by not feeding into her bullshit. And like in real life, the crazy religious fundamentalist is attacking someone (literally in this case) for not obeying them.
Two steps forward, one step back Joyce.
Eh, I would argue she hasn’t been vague. The whole conversation was: I know what happened, (loud angry demanding accusation) I didn’t do anything, I’m looking out for her let’s sit down and talk about it with the implication that it’s a detailed discussion (loud angry accusation) Your friends is safe! (lollipop attack and shrieking demand) Robin’s behavior has been calm and she’s actually trying to reassure her instead of just shutting the door in her face.
Yeah, coming in all guns blazin’ rarely gets straight answers. It creates a conflict that didn’t necessarily have to exist, nobody’s starting off on the same page, and people are more likely to get their feelings hurt by something that wouldn’t have been said in calmer circumstances.
Sucker Punch!
–of a Punch Sucker, no less.
Knowing Ted Cruz isn’t a sign of good character.
That’s sorta missing the point. She’s comparing Joyce to Todd Croissant, and unfavorably at that.
Also to be fair I feel Robin judges people based on the likelihood of them smacking candy out of her hand.
I mean, she’s in Congress. She knows Ted Cruz whether she likes him or not.
She’s also in the same party as him.
You’re bound to know Red Cruz, if you’re a Republican in Washington.
Aaand I misspelled his first name; great.
Given that Republicans are the “red” party here, it works!
Hey the 5 second rule is still in effect so you can still pick it up Robin. Of course since this is Robin we’re talking about, the 30 second rule may also apply…
Dammit, Joyce, now if Robin doesn’t pick that up and start licking it…
…ah, who am I kidding?
Tomorrow: We find out if it’s a Tootsie Pop.
So . . . I just got a surprise wedding sprung on me Friday. Apparently my sister got a friend to get himself ordained while he was in Vegas last month, and they decided my fiancee and I were getting married instead of playing in the FNM this week (by convincing the store owner to let them hold it there).
Any other married people, is it weird that this doesn’t feel much different than when we were engaged? Not in a “This is a mistake!” way, just that it’s not a world-altering difference between marriage and engagement?
Not married, but it sounds to me like that just means you were ready to be married, emotionally speaking.
Also, congrats on getting married!
Congratulations!
… Did you change your Gravatar just to make this post?
Let’s not lose sight of what’s important, here. Our fellow comments regular has just had a very significant ceremony performed for them and their new spouse, after all.
Congratulations!
Congrats!
not married but also hoo wee that sure is one way to get married
my parents often give me the talk on how moving in with your partner before marriage takes out the feeling of being married before you’re married, and that seems to be somewhat the case for most people I’ve met in that situ? I imagine that after getting engaged, everything’s pretty cemented for most people who feel that voicing the intent to get married is as serious as getting married, and the wedding is just an official stamp on the package. Idk what’s the norm for you, but most everyone I’ve met either falls into the “we think we might marry, nothing is certain till there’s a ring on both of us and the cake is cut” camp or the “we’re engaged, it’s a serious step, there is no one else within this unit we’ve formed going forward” camp, and most people who experience the wow feeling are of the former, not the latter. Might not be the case for you, or anyone reading this, just stating observations but also am curious about how you feel on this b.c all data is interesting
Well, we kinda always knew we would get married at some point. I guess we just thought there’d be . . . I dunno, some kind of different feeling now. Turns out no, but that’s a good thing. We’re still madly in love, still the same people, and I doubt we’d have it any other way.
It might help if you have a cake party? Full weddings are expensive and clearly not something you were planning on but a party with a nice cake might help make things feel official. If nothing else, cake.
Cake is always good. Also, congrats!
There is no cake. The cake..mmmfpmmf, Halp! Thvmmhatmmm!
Thanks for the idea, Molly! We actually did want a full wedding, but post-facial scarring, our wedding savings got kinda gutted. That cake party idea, though, that’s a good one.
Totally normal. The ‘getting married’ can be a big thing, depending on how you do it, but the ‘being married’ was no different for us, at least. Just occasionally going “oh yeah, you’re my wife/husband”. The name change took longer to get used to.
We discovered that today. Kim is having a hard time signing our last name, we realize now.
Married person here to say – yeah, totes normal.
Getting married is fun and special, but being married is more of what came before – hopefully, anyway.
My wife and I have been married since before same-sex marriage was legal in Ohio. We were best friends in college before we became girlfriends after college.
Today, our plans are to watch anime, play some D&D, share a meal or two, and maybe working on our writing together. Those plans could literally describe any evening for the past two decades since we upgraded from casual friends to best friends over a shared play-by-post roleplaying game back in college.
The major difference between then and now is that now we own a house together, have two kids, and have moved up from internet roleplay to writing and publishing romance novels. We’ve built on the foundation we established back then, but the foundation has remained basically the same for the past 20 years. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. ^^
Rose can I just say that your description made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside? Marriage goals!
Y’all are fuckin’ adorable.
Awwww. Thanks, Rose. Good to know that this is normal.
Congratulations! Nope, not much is supposed to change when you get married – you and they are both the same people you were before, just now legally a joint entity for some purposes
If you were waiting til marriage to cohabit and play human tetris then those things are pretty momentous and mean getting to know each other on a whole new level though. Sharing space intimately with somebody around the clock (not literally 24/7 assuming you work separately, have friends you see outside of each other, don’t always go shopping together etc, but in the morning before brushing teeth or ingesting caffeine (if your waking up ritual involves caffeine), when you desperately need to do a poop, when you’ve had an awful day and just want to curl up in bed on your own with junk food and a comfort book/film/show and don’t want to be a reasonable pleasant human, when you’re feeling low energy and are not exactly a vivacious and entertaining person to be around… All those times when you aren’t your best, most captivating self), working out how to split finances and chores… But if you’ve had a surprise wedding thrown at you if you weren’t living together before I’m not sure if you would be yet anyway because sorting out space, packing, etc, take time and energy…
Congratulations!!!
Could be worse. My son asked me to get ordained and marry him and fiance on the beach in Nags Head. We got the ceremony in as scheduled but were evacuated ahead of the hurricane the very next morning. We kidded him that the gods were NOT HAPPY with his choice.
Thanks for all of the congratulations and opinions, everyone. It means a lot.
Congrats on the surprise wedding. Not a bad way to do it, kept the costs down at least.
Just to be the gal who clocked everyone to fall down at Becky’s door....
And-ah I would clock 500 dad’s and-ah I would clock 500 more
lmao joyce pls
i love hurricane joyce. not puttin up with any of robin’s bullshit
Dorothy seems to be looking at Sarah for guidance in the last panel.
Dorothy: “I don’t suppose you have your bat handy?”
Sarah: “If I did, we would then have to decide which one to hit …”
Dorothy: “… can I be your vice-president?”
Chill tf out Joyce
Oooooo! Burn.
Safe? I can’t trust you, Robin. She might be abducted by the evil two-some.
Joice is crossing some boundaries and forgetting that she could either be punch in the face as an adult or charged with assault as an adult
Charged with assault and battery of a politician, no less. Fortunately, Robin doesn’t leverage her power that way all that much. Given past experience, I suspect Joyce is going to be her new bodyguard by tomorrow.
Your comment made me do a spit-take. XD You have a point here. (and Joyce as Robin’s bodyguard would be comedy gold!)
It’s legitimately hilarious that Robin immediately thinks that Joyce is worse than Ted Cruz for wasting her lollipop.
So how do I check comment replies?
Control-F and your name?
Uhnnn… they show up here?
Depending on browser, you may have to refresh from time to time.
F5 on windows boxes.
Joyce is the Clock! THE CLOCK STRIKES!
Joyce is jumping straight to panic and rage, but in fairness to her she’s still in fight-flight-freeze mode from the Carol call and clearly chose ‘fight’ today, and honestly? Robin has not earned her trust. Joyce is right, she’s very much an opportunist willing to sell people out for votes who has gotten her job on a platform of screwing over LGBT people.
Joyce definitely needs to take some deep breaths, but Robin should probably be leading with ‘I told Becky as soon as I found out* and am taking active steps to keep her safe.’
* Once again, Robin damn well better have.
I suspect it may be the other way ’round: Becky told Robin in the first place.
I agree. It is literally Beck’s job to be on top of Robin’s things. If anyone was to talk to Robin about this, they would have gone through Becky first.
I hate to be the wet blanket, but Robin never implies she hasn’t put things right by giving Becky to Toe-Dad. She’s basically said nothing yet.
Well most people would interpret what she’s saying as; I ain’t done nothing to hurt Becky or bring Toedad here. I’ve got your friends back. Don’t worry Becky is safe from her so called dad.
But the thing is Joyce is primed to hear. I ain’t done nothing except may be call her dad anything that happened after that is clearly Gods will and not my doing. I’m looking out for her by bringing her back to God. Don’t worry your friend is safe from what is clearly the devils influence.
I’d say “Calm down, Joyce!” but I suspect that she wouldn’t be able to hear me.
Heck yeah you tell her, Joyce
What did that sucker do to deserve that, Joyce?
Yeah Joyce you punched a guy (Joe) while he was on the ground being assaulted, with your compliance, by Mike and you punched out someone that’d just been in a major motor vehicle accident
One of these days Joyce you’ll punch, or threaten, someone that might just fight back
Then, she will look at it an say “Finally! A worthy opponent!”
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face
How soon will Joyce be burninating cities from dragonback?
I bet a shekel that she’ll hold off until the night of the 30th of April/1st of May.
Very bad move, shifting Robin’s attention from Becky to the lollipop. It may take hours to get her back to the relevant issue.
Robin, you harbored a rapist, and you gave Becky a devil’s deal on shelter + education. If you did anything constructive to protect Becky, now would be a real good time to mention it.
Joyce, don’t punch congressladies.
Robin didn’t harbor a rapist. Come on.
She didn’t ship a rapist, much less harbor one.
Robin didn’t really “harbor” a rapist. One of her interns was one, but she had no reason to know that – or even to be aware of his existence. Once she found out, she wanted him exposed – fired her campaign staff when they advised against it.
Robin’s awful in many ways, but that’s not one of them.
Robin absolutely did not harbor a rapist – she was 100% willing to throw him to the wolves the second she knew about him, fired her campaign staff for suggesting they quietly let him go, then tweeted an assurance that she will make sure he gets prosecuted, even while knowing his popularity was higher than hers and with her staff telling her that would be career suicide right before they were fired.
Disagree, punching members of Congress is good
Joyce really hate Robin, and everything she represents. Kinda extreme, but Understandable.
Joyce isn’t exactly covering herself with glory here either,
Everything Robin represents is evil. That’s a reputation she worked for.
… so I just noticed that Robin held on to Leslie’s lamp. Has it been shown in
Robin’sBecky’sRobin’s apartment before?… aaand answering my own question, it’s been there since the first day we saw the apartment, and King Daniel called it out at the time. I’m just dense.
Antagonizing a congresswoman isn’t likely to advance your goals favorably, Joyce.
Joyce’s mom just “took care” of Becky. No reason to think a Congress critter would be better. Especially one that knows Ted Cruz. Joyce has no reason to trust Robin. And even if she did , considering the stakes, trust but verify.
The only difference is that Robin doesn’t really believe in anything, whereas Joyce’s mom believes in So Much. It means Robin is more likely to cave if the pressure is right.
Yea Robin thinks she’s telling Joyce they are on the same side, but she’s actually saying she’s on Becky’s dad’s side in a dialect of asshole Joyce has been hearing too much of lately.
Which Robin is fluent in. And she’s not explicitly saying anything useful.
And Joyce is right about her reputation and history.
I think you may be right, but I’d demand clearer answers from her too.
Wow, she even admit Ted Cruz (was) the worse person she knew.
Everyone’s disgusted by Ted Cruz.
(Everyone ought to be disgusted by Donald Trump as well, but I guess they’re too distracted by his orange tan and wispy combover.)
Robin might had interacted more with Cruz than with Trump so he is a better comparison point.
Everyone is a lot of people. Cruz keeps getting re-elected so someone must be voting for him. I mean, not me, but clearly someone.
Disgusting I’ll actually save for Bloomberg’s attempt to buy the nomination or Trump getting out of bed in the morning.
Bloomberg worse than Cruz?
Given that they’re really both lifelong R’s (I’m not kidding myself), I still don’t know. Bloomberg’s done some really crappy things as mayor, but Cruz is Ted fcking Cruz.
Apparently Cruz is one of the most disliked people in Washington – not necessarily by his constituents, but by everyone who has to work with him.
Stand back, we have a badass!
Has Joyce tried calling Becky yet? They presumably have each other’s phone number.
Isn’t Beckster still relying on Dina’s phone* and doesn’t have one of her own?
* as needed to find work, except now she already has had 2 jobs. Oh wait, but now she got this job by hacking desanto’s account. Was that on her own phone, dina’s, or robin’s?
Leslie bought er a phone.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/scaredmess/
Becky hijacked Robin’s account from Robin’s phone. She didn’t do any hacking.
Although I think she might’ve changed/kept the password so she could keep it up?
What a way to go out, out like a sucka. But I’m on track, like a Long Island train.
I have to say, Robin is acting quite restrained in this case…
Don’t worry Robin! In a few decades the timeline will move so that Ted Cruz died before you were born.
Wow Robin. That is a hell of a statement.
Which kind of demonstrates why Joyce shouldn’t trust her.
Joyce deprived her of candy; this is small-scale but impacts her personally and therefore is worse than Ted Cruz. She’s self-centered.
Robin is better flawed but when you are being hiperbolic about telling somebody “you are being the worst right now” you are not going to use someone mediocre nobody will get the reference, you will use a bad enough person known enough so the point will get across.
Ehh nope. Ted Cruz is still the worst.
I mean, Joyce didn’t kill 20-28 people in Northern California in the late ’60’s and early ’70’s…
As far as we know.
Haven’t you heard, Robin? Joyce is angry
Robins’ face, that is great
Me, a TX resident, forever appreciating a good Ted Cruz knock.