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Cyanide & Happiness
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He’s probably feeling the mousy homeschooled girl wouldn’t have had years of “stranger danger” AND would be too ashamed to mention “date rape” to the authorities.
mr willis, pleaase put me in the comic, i will kill him. i will put a .45 acp in each ankle so he cant run away, cut off his dick with a rusty knife, rape him with a sandpaper didlo, RECORD it all and play it for everyone to see.. then maybe go to the pain with him.. if hes still alive. i may murder him for shits and giggles.
oh no,nonono. there is no out creep here, that is the standard punishment for rape (or attempted rape) in my group of friends. there are reasons for murder, there are reasons for assault, the worst crime you can commit is rape.
no sadly im not, i cant bring myself to bring harm to a woman.. i do however have a few women best friends that feel exactly as i do on the subject of rape. they take care of the female suspects
youtube? fuck youtube, of ima do it, im gonna hack a network and put it on tv. also im not a sociopath, i have emotion, namely in this situation anger and disgust. i just run on a slightly different version of beliefs then most people
But since your allegedly “standard” punishment for rape includes more rape, then it seems you are willing to excuse your “reasons” for committing rape.
ScytheAkse, the only way you will get inserted into Willis’s comic is by writing/drawing the fanfiction/comic yourself or you become as good friends with Willis as Randy or Linkara is.
You’ve got to realize that at the end of the day, this is fiction. Joyce isn’t real, as loveable as she is. I empathize with your passion to protect victims of rape and punish the guilty, really I do. But there are proper channels for this in real life, and in fiction you’ve got to keep your sense of perspective about you. As in, this isn’t actually happening to anyone.
I made a few gags about busting Ryan up with rocks and sending a couple mechanized infantry units to the party with artillery backup, but that was about it. You’re taking this comic strip too seriously.
No, you wouldn’t. I’ve spent more time tangling with actual, real-life tough guys than you could possibly imagine, and it’s sadly obvious you’re all hat and no cattle here.
You wouldn’t do any of those things, everyone knows it, so stop with the macho horseshit.
People normally say these things behind a screen of internet anonymity because they know there are no consequences, and if they ever faced the situation in real life, they’d likely piss themselves. I’m not worried about it.
i have to point out you dont know me, id say it to your face as readily i would over the internet, please dont insult me when ive said nothing about you.
The courageous aren’t without fear, they simply control, overcome, and harness it. Absence of fear isn’t a mark of courage or strength, it’s a mark of insanity or the lack of understanding that one is in danger.
The possibility that Ryan’s actually going to succeed in roofie rape, which sure seems to be his goal, is chilling enough that I’m more comfortable unsuspending my disbelief and remembering that it’s unlikely David would go so dark.
There’s another nearly-as-depressing possibility, though, and that is that Joyce is going to realize what he’s up to… and the realization might send her scuttling all the way back into her shell, until she’s a hermit like Sarah but more holier-than-thou.
Her best quality has been her courage in confronting a whole culture far outside her comfort zone. It’d be terrible to see that lost.
Well, if you read Roomies! you know that this guy did pretty much the same thing in that comic, but to Ruth. David has no problems going dark if it suits his purposes.
Its actually very difficult to find the exact one with the way the website search is set up with the old comics. it was when ruth was having a flashback to when she was babysitting billie and walky was arguing with her, can’t remember when it was, likely after 2000.
Man, that part of that story is actually one of my least favorite things I’ve done. There’s a lot of stuff that bothers me about it, as a more mature writer.
I’ve done crazier things, for sure, but stuff like dropping Sal’s dead parents on Big Boss is just CRAZY awful. Like, that stuff just doesn’t happen to people. It’s so out there it doesn’t bother me. Ruth’s situation was terrible too, but it’s a little too real, too plausible. Yet I approached them with about the same finesse. Stupidly.
Eh. All you can do, going forward, is hope to avoid the same mistakes.
Wow… and here I thought that was more of an ironic slap in the face. Of course, being the jerk I am, I also laughed- mostly because for some reason I really didn’t like Sal much. Of course, strangely I got to like her more later, but at that point she was just irritating. Almost like she was the clueless action girl (which turned out she was, but for entirely different reasons). Plus the whole parents on big boss thing seemed to give (in a really creepy way) something in common between Tony and Sal- they were both mind screwed by aliens, both had dead parents, and neither was very happy with walky.
win, win, win I say.
N-O-O-O-O-O!!!! Spoilers, spoilers everywhere! Let this experience remind me to beware whenever reading substantive commentary on the alternative universes!
Willis I hope as a more mature writer you will replace the date rape with violence towards the asshole who intends to commit it. I think it would be very mature to have Mike and Joe both beat his ass to a bloody pulp for thinking about it. Then we could have a nice scene shift of Walky and Joyce in a threesome with… I dunno Amber I guess. That’s the mature way to handle this scenario.
There’s always the possibility of joe and mike having roofie sex with ryan instead. Joe manages to get ryan to drink, then ryan wakes up next to mike, while mike is flipping a quarter with joe as to who gets to go next…
Wow, T, I hadn’t gone there but you are totally on the mark there IMO. There is a real risk that if this guy tries something extreme he could do Joyce a lot of damage even if he fails miserably. She’s already spent enough time hanging out near him to give her second thoughts about being out in the world.
Am I terrible for wanting Ryan to succeed if just so Joyce can become self-sufficient instead of, ‘Oh, it’s fine! Jesus has my back lolololol!’ Amazi-Girl won’t be there every time.
Maybe you’re terrible, maybe you’re not. Either way, I like your idea about as much as running sandpaper over my tongue a thousand times. There are better ways to get this sort of point across to her.
Darn it… Willis, you’ve really really REALLY made Joyce likable in this new series.
I mean, I loved Joyce in It’s Walky!, but only after she’d grown up a lot. A lot of the beginning stuff with her I kinda really hated.
But she’s oddly mature here. At least, she knows her faith and is fairly down to earth about it. She’s substantially less neurotic than I’d have guessed you’d have written her when I first heard about this series. Even if she IS a “Ring By Spring” girl, she’s just so darn LIKABLE.
I’m actually praying for her to avoid this coming outcome. You’ve got me PRAYING for a fictional character. That’s kinda creepy, now that I think of it.
all this being said, there actually isn’t any concrete, or even circumstantial, proof that hes actually gonna drug/date rape joyce. all were going on is that he called her a mark and got her a sprite after dorothy brought up the concept of the drugged sprite. for all we know he simply fancies himself as a bit of a ladies man and when he said “mark” he simply meant “she who i intend to sleep with”
Actually it was Sarah who placed Chekov’s sprite on the mantle. But at this point I am assuming the drink is a red herring to distract us from Ryan’s real plan.
Honestly, if I saw a guy that persistently, but quietly following a girl, including tending to her drink, and everything else he is doing, at a party, I would be keeping an eye on him. Joyce is a naive extrovert, open and non selective in her conversation. Christian, whatever, they are always going to show up at college parties heavy in freshman. Ryan is a quiet introvert who is selective in his conversation. They are not common to frosh parties, and his presence, especially without any friends showing up to explain his presence, make him suspicious.
This may be going beyond a roofie-rape. I mean, why persist on Joyce when there are dozens of girls around? My only guess is that she wants a virgin, which I suppose are rare in college.
It’s pretty well documented that violent criminals, serial rapists, etc have a tendency to seek out people with certain characteristics. People who give off a certain image, who have certain body language, who dress a certain way. Do they seem timid, shy, innocent, weak? I’m not studied enough to have a comprehensive list of the most common attributes sought by rapists, but considering that Joyce is the only person remotely like herself at this party it seems more than probable she’s the only person present that fits Ryan’s interests.
He also already bears the collective hatred of the entire readership. Really, take a gander at the comments forums for strips involving him. The friendly to hostile ratio is zero to one.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened, because Willis has been pretty consistent in testing Joyce specifically through trauma. It has been a numbers of years since he wrote those story lines, but that was one of her defining characteristics for a while, that she was part of the Walky, Sal, Head Alien Quadrilateral of Emotional Horror. I don’t really know what I’d expect out of the comic if Joyce got to enjoy life, as I have been so thoroughly conditioned to expect her and Walky and Sal to suffer. And so far in DofA, Walky and Sal have been doing so little suffering that if Joyce or somebody doesn’t pick up the slack, I’m going to completely lose touch with reality.
Easy. He didn’t want the guy to notice that she knows about his intentions. Btw, this would also be a great way to gain a naive girl’s trust, tell her that you know a really evil man is after her and you’re the only one who can protect her, so she’ll have to stick quite close to you…
Asuka would like to apologize for not personally delivering a reply, but any effort would simply have resulted in typing several onomatopoeia for inspired roars of approval. It is the responsibility of this service therefore to indicate that yes, her hands indeed thirst for Ryan’s neck.
I’m kind of hoping this drink turns out to just be his patented health tonic. He pays his tuition by selling vitimanized Seirra Mist to gullible rubes.
Oh god NOES! D:
Don´t drink it, Joyce! DON´T!
MIKE! Where´s Mike when you need him?
Amazi-girl! Gawd, stop beating random guys, safe Joyce!
Dorothy! Find her faster, FASTER I SAID!!!
Panic mode on:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH~
Mr. President, I told you I have the situation under control. Two mech units have already arrived on scene, and are currently gaining control of the situation. They were detained while restraining a heavily inebriated woman carrying miniature kegs and flurrying about at blinding speeds.
A second identical cup will get introduced after which Joyce pulls a switcharoo. Ryan and Joyce engage in a battle of the wits.
Ryan: It’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you whether you would put the roofie in your own plastic cup or mine? Now a clever girl would put the roofie in her own cup, because she would know only a great fool would reach for what he is given. I am not a great fool, so I must clearly not choose the wine in front you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the plastic cup in front of me.
Joyce: So you have come to your decision then?
Ryan: Not remotely, because you are from a Fundamentalist Christian community, where you are surely used to being trusted. So I can clearly not choose the plastic cup in front of me.
Joyce: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Ryan: Wait till I get started! Now where was I?
Joyce: Sheltered life.
Ryan: Right. You must have realized that I would know your origins, so I can clearly not choose the plastic cup in front of you.
Joyce: You’re stalling.
Ryan: You’d like to think that wouldn’t you! You’ve attended this sinful establishment which means you are fearless, so you could have placed the roofy in your own plastic cup trusting in your fortitude to save you, so I clearly cannot choose the plastic cup in front of you! But you’ve also bested my drunkards, which means you’ve studied, and in studying you must have learned that humankind is mortal, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Joyce: You’re trying to trick me into giving something away, it won’t work.
Ryan: IT HAS WORKED! YOU’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE ROOFY IS!
Joyce: Then make your choice.
Ryan: I will, and I choose – What in the world can that be?
[gestures away from the table. Joyce looks away and Ryan switches the cups]
Joyce: What? Where? I don’t see anything.
Ryan: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[they drink]
Joyce: You guessed wrong.
Ryan: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Scuzzbag when Chastity is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
[Ryan stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground unconscious]
Roz: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was drugged.
Joyce: They were both drugged. I’ve spent the last few years developing an immunity to Rohypnol.
[Buckets of Blood guy comes and drags Ryan off. No one says a word]
Funny as that was, I found myself wondering what would lead to Joyce developing such an immunity from overexposure to the substance. Not a happy thoughts place.
The immunity was developed over a course of years whenever they took joyce into town for whatever reason (shopping, tests, weekly beatings…) and eventually joyce just learned to tune the world out when ever she tasted the happy flavor.
Honestly, at this point nothing has been stated outright, it’s merely implied that there’s something up with it, and most people are assuming it’s a roofie.
A. There wouldn’t be any sort of focus on that if it was just soda.
B. He’s already thought of her as a “mark”, as in “easy prey.” He’s not the nice guy you’re thinking he is. =\
This guy’s intent is probably what everyone thinks it, but there’s a little corner of my mind that says “What if the drink IS a red herring and Willis is focusing on the cup just to throw us off what he really has coming?”
I think the focuse on the soda is more of a red herring, and i don’t remer him doing anything(in this comic or the other one) that implies he would do anything bad here
I have a bridge in Omaha that I bet you’d be just dying to purchase. Primo real estate, complete with toll-booths on both sides and no property tax. Nothing but profit, and the sky’s the limit. And I’m offering for the insanely low price of (get this) $1.25 million. You can’t GET a better deal.
Of course, you have to act now and the money must be paid in full and up front to get this special offer. Call now! 1-888-SUCKER.
Congratulations Andrew! You just won the UK Lotto from a random drawing. Just make sure to pay the £2,000 retainer fee and we’ll release the funds, which can be picked up in Nigeria. You’ll have to book a flight, and make sure to bring a brand new laptop computer. Once again, CONGRATULATIONS!
Just found this comic over the weekend. Love it. Went back and started from the beginning. Looking forward to further comics.
P.S. Hope someone figures out what this creep is doing and helps Joyce before he destroys her.
Maybe he went out somewhere and got her a REAL Sprite and really wants her to drink it to show her what a really great guy he is. And there is nothing bad in it.
In an alternate reality, that “Find Mark” panel didn’t exist and we’d still be arguing over Ryan’s intentions. (With, I think, most of us thinking he’s sleaze by now.)
“I’m just going to say it, shame on any of us who throws a trans child under the bus for thinking they’re going to get elected. That child deserves our support. Don’t worry about the pollsters calling it distractions, because we need to be the party of human dignity.”
Minnesota Star Tribune@startribune.com ⋅ 19h
Gov. Tim Walz is doubling down on trans rights — and criticizing members of his party who are retreating — at a time when the issue has become a political lightning rod nationally and back home in Minnesota.
they managed to get the arms and thighs to be different grays, which I wasn't sure they'd be able to do, the way the mold's set up
though maybe they're just producing a lot of extra thighs and/or arms in the wrong colors and throwing those away, i dunno
Cops are overgrown children cosplaying War, with all the rest of us forced into their stupid, childish game without our consent, consuming vast funds from the public treasury and ruining lives by the hundreds of thousands.
unknown@collie.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I cannot get over these cops wearing night vision to arrest a dude on a Southwest Airlines flight in broad daylight.
Minnesota Star Tribune @startribune.com ⋅ 19h
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 20h
unknown @collie.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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I demand he be kicked in the balls!
I prefer Mike do to him what Mike does best.
A punch? In the FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?
More like doing his mom. For a nickel.
I was thinking more of the lines of Mike setting Ryan up so when he wakes up, he finds himself being spooned by the Buckets of Blood Guy…naked!
THIS.
I vote yes.
Best Idea ever. Plasma for pres.
I’d vote for Plasma.
More power to the Plas!!
TY TY Everyone. ^_^
Another vote for plasma mon!
I’m just gonna say, femurs.
WHO I GOTTA PUNCH?? YOU??
TWICE once for his ruth and once for joyce!
I demand his entrails to be pulled from his abdomen and used as a limbo pole.
Whoa, calm down there Satan.
He just won’t quit…
Well, she might be the only viable “mark” at the whole party…
There’s NO WAY she’s the easiest mark. there’s gotta be something about her that he just can’t leave alone. And that worries me.
Agreed. Billie’s got to be easier.
I suppose it’s the added attention of her innocence. Additionally, i’m surprised no one has recognized him as a sex offender at the party.
In the case of Joyce, he’d have to be more of a sex defender.
No, Lea…just no.
I think colleges are notorious for being crap at stoping rape and other sexual assaults.
TL:DR if he was a known sex offender, chances are no one knows.
Yeah, but who knows where Billie’s been. Use a fresh one every time.
*barf*
He’s probably feeling the mousy homeschooled girl wouldn’t have had years of “stranger danger” AND would be too ashamed to mention “date rape” to the authorities.
Hmm… perverse sexual lust?
He’s just “ryan” to get her in his pants.
….No good?
Dun, Dun, Dun…
You’d think there were no other girls here. Yeesh.
I bet he has a deflowering fetish.
In that case I hope he enjoys the sight of…whoa. Deja vu. o.o
I sense ensuing ass kickin’…
He is determined to give her a bad night’s sleep, isn’t he?
RYAN, I WILL CUT YOU.
Perhaps, right in the FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?
With her nickel.
I feel like I’m doing it wrong. With my penis.
…and rip out his femurs.
B [ ‘zactly.
Motion for cutting seconded. All in favor of tying ryan down and ripping out his femurs pending obligatory castration?
Aye! I suggest defenestration as well.
*facepalm*
Don’t you mean:
*FAAAAACEpalm*
?
Rereading the archive and good call, even if you were just referencing a meme Past Me
The most amazing Gravatar for this comment! ^.^
*incoherent anger at Joe’s evil cousin
Damnit Ryan! What did we say about taking the loss and enjoying the game?
Or maybe he’ll just end up with Billie.
Damn it Amazi-Girl where the feck are you?
DYNAMIC ENTRY!
*hopefully*
And if not Amazi-Girl then….
WHERE’S THE BEEF?
Bovinae!!
I’ll even settle for mike at this point. He’d prolly come in mid-rape though, just to be…himself.
The homeschooled Christian girl is telling the would – be rapist to have a good time.
Oooo the Irony!
Huh boy. This is happening, isn’t it. Ryan, if you go through with this, I will do to you EVERYTHING Gunny Hartman threatened in Full Metal Jacket.
Huh. You’re going to bring him to your house and let him fuck your sister?
Have you seen his sister? fate worse than death tbh
I know, even with beer goggles, she’s starting to approach that really ugly, overweight gal from Good Luck Chuck levels.
That’s kind of harsh…
Wait, why is he grabbing the glass? Didn’t she already refuse it?
He’s going to try again – it’s undoubtedly more than just sprite, y’see.
She’s underage, ryan, you pedo!
No matter how old she gets, Joyce will always be underage.
mr willis, pleaase put me in the comic, i will kill him. i will put a .45 acp in each ankle so he cant run away, cut off his dick with a rusty knife, rape him with a sandpaper didlo, RECORD it all and play it for everyone to see.. then maybe go to the pain with him.. if hes still alive. i may murder him for shits and giggles.
O-o-okay… Trying to out-creepy Ryan is probably not going to work here.
oh no,nonono. there is no out creep here, that is the standard punishment for rape (or attempted rape) in my group of friends. there are reasons for murder, there are reasons for assault, the worst crime you can commit is rape.
What about when a woman rapes a man? She gets off scott-free?
Clearly Scythe would mutilate the woman instead. He’s an equal opportunity sociopath.
no sadly im not, i cant bring myself to bring harm to a woman.. i do however have a few women best friends that feel exactly as i do on the subject of rape. they take care of the female suspects
Goody! And here I was worried there was going to be a shortage of woman mutilation snuff videos on Youtube.
youtube? fuck youtube, of ima do it, im gonna hack a network and put it on tv. also im not a sociopath, i have emotion, namely in this situation anger and disgust. i just run on a slightly different version of beliefs then most people
Oh internet tough guy ohhhh. Take me.
Female on male rape happens less often, though it also doesn’t get reported as much.
quoting sxephil from you tube:
” I remember that woman!
They chopped off her clit!
I should not do this!”
Clearly, most victims of murder would disagree with you there, Scythe.
(I haven’t been murdered myself, luckily. Yet.)
But since your allegedly “standard” punishment for rape includes more rape, then it seems you are willing to excuse your “reasons” for committing rape.
states willing to murder for murders im willing to rape for rapists.
That’s not really an excuse you know.
reminds me of something I saw in Girl with The Dragon Tattoo
ScytheAkse, the only way you will get inserted into Willis’s comic is by writing/drawing the fanfiction/comic yourself or you become as good friends with Willis as Randy or Linkara is.
i have no drawing skills what so ever, so that’ll never happen. oh well aslong as someone gets him
You’re a bit scary now.
The Antarctic’s a bit cold.
You’ve got to realize that at the end of the day, this is fiction. Joyce isn’t real, as loveable as she is. I empathize with your passion to protect victims of rape and punish the guilty, really I do. But there are proper channels for this in real life, and in fiction you’ve got to keep your sense of perspective about you. As in, this isn’t actually happening to anyone.
I made a few gags about busting Ryan up with rocks and sending a couple mechanized infantry units to the party with artillery backup, but that was about it. You’re taking this comic strip too seriously.
Time to up your meds.
No, you wouldn’t. I’ve spent more time tangling with actual, real-life tough guys than you could possibly imagine, and it’s sadly obvious you’re all hat and no cattle here.
You wouldn’t do any of those things, everyone knows it, so stop with the macho horseshit.
People don’t normally say these things to show off. It’s usually because they’re either angry or a bit unstable.
I really would rather not discuss it, but just don’t try to tell someone what they would or wouldn’t do if it happened to someone they know.
People normally say these things behind a screen of internet anonymity because they know there are no consequences, and if they ever faced the situation in real life, they’d likely piss themselves. I’m not worried about it.
i have to point out you dont know me, id say it to your face as readily i would over the internet, please dont insult me when ive said nothing about you.
No, you wouldn’t.
Animal’s a big guy. I’ve met him. He could probably snap your neck with just a glare.
(Man, I should probably just delete this whole thread since it was absolutely cuckoo-pants from the start, but … so many posts, so much work…)
big guys dont scare me, force recon marines dont scare me, no human i have ever met has ever scared me. my brain may be wired wrong idk.
The courageous aren’t without fear, they simply control, overcome, and harness it. Absence of fear isn’t a mark of courage or strength, it’s a mark of insanity or the lack of understanding that one is in danger.
ill accept insanity. i (generally) understand the dangers im in
Seriously that guy is creepy. I hope he gets his soon.
Say what you want about Joe, but he won’t stoop so low to drug people. His marks are CONSENSUAL!
he drugs them *sigh* “with his penis”
He administers it to their faaaaaaaaaaaace
I’m trying to figure out where the nickles and femurs fit in this scenario.
EVERYWHERE!
wait… so hes gonna give her a drugged drink while shes peeing?
Yeah, that is kind of awkward. “Hey, now that you’ve made a little room…?”
The man is offering to join you in the bathroom.
Not gaurding the bathroom, just JOINING YOU.
Seriously dude, FIND A DUMBER MARK.
In retrospect I have no idea what point I’m trying to make here. X.x Carry on.
The possibility that Ryan’s actually going to succeed in roofie rape, which sure seems to be his goal, is chilling enough that I’m more comfortable unsuspending my disbelief and remembering that it’s unlikely David would go so dark.
There’s another nearly-as-depressing possibility, though, and that is that Joyce is going to realize what he’s up to… and the realization might send her scuttling all the way back into her shell, until she’s a hermit like Sarah but more holier-than-thou.
Her best quality has been her courage in confronting a whole culture far outside her comfort zone. It’d be terrible to see that lost.
Well, if you read Roomies! you know that this guy did pretty much the same thing in that comic, but to Ruth. David has no problems going dark if it suits his purposes.
That was different. That was consensual.
Would it be possible for you to link me to that? I read those so long ago, I don’t know where to start to look…
http://www.itswalky.com/d/19970908.html
Its actually very difficult to find the exact one with the way the website search is set up with the old comics. it was when ruth was having a flashback to when she was babysitting billie and walky was arguing with her, can’t remember when it was, likely after 2000.
Man, that part of that story is actually one of my least favorite things I’ve done. There’s a lot of stuff that bothers me about it, as a more mature writer.
I’ve done crazier things, for sure, but stuff like dropping Sal’s dead parents on Big Boss is just CRAZY awful. Like, that stuff just doesn’t happen to people. It’s so out there it doesn’t bother me. Ruth’s situation was terrible too, but it’s a little too real, too plausible. Yet I approached them with about the same finesse. Stupidly.
Eh. All you can do, going forward, is hope to avoid the same mistakes.
Wow… and here I thought that was more of an ironic slap in the face. Of course, being the jerk I am, I also laughed- mostly because for some reason I really didn’t like Sal much. Of course, strangely I got to like her more later, but at that point she was just irritating. Almost like she was the clueless action girl (which turned out she was, but for entirely different reasons). Plus the whole parents on big boss thing seemed to give (in a really creepy way) something in common between Tony and Sal- they were both mind screwed by aliens, both had dead parents, and neither was very happy with walky.
win, win, win I say.
N-O-O-O-O-O!!!! Spoilers, spoilers everywhere! Let this experience remind me to beware whenever reading substantive commentary on the alternative universes!
You are a gentleman and a scholar sir!
Now, if you’d kindly not veto the aforementioned motion and put scythe in the comix to carry out said castration…
Willis I hope as a more mature writer you will replace the date rape with violence towards the asshole who intends to commit it. I think it would be very mature to have Mike and Joe both beat his ass to a bloody pulp for thinking about it. Then we could have a nice scene shift of Walky and Joyce in a threesome with… I dunno Amber I guess. That’s the mature way to handle this scenario.
Haha, I like that idea.
There’s always the possibility of joe and mike having roofie sex with ryan instead. Joe manages to get ryan to drink, then ryan wakes up next to mike, while mike is flipping a quarter with joe as to who gets to go next…
Wow, T, I hadn’t gone there but you are totally on the mark there IMO. There is a real risk that if this guy tries something extreme he could do Joyce a lot of damage even if he fails miserably. She’s already spent enough time hanging out near him to give her second thoughts about being out in the world.
All I have to say is…I’m worried.
Am I terrible for wanting Ryan to succeed if just so Joyce can become self-sufficient instead of, ‘Oh, it’s fine! Jesus has my back lolololol!’ Amazi-Girl won’t be there every time.
Yes, but what about Spider-Car?
Even if there’s no god or buddha… THERE IS SPIDER CAR.
Maybe you’re terrible, maybe you’re not. Either way, I like your idea about as much as running sandpaper over my tongue a thousand times. There are better ways to get this sort of point across to her.
I don’t think Willis will do it. I call Billie snatching the drink, passing out, and getting carried home.
Let’s hope so. That would be relieving and hilarious.
Dude…that’s so crazy it just might work!
But what am I gonna do with all of these testicle transplant requests? We need ryan’s balls!
That, and I already paid the assassin.
Do it anyway! That way he never does it again
Ryan is getting on my nerve.
Only one of them?
Darn it… Willis, you’ve really really REALLY made Joyce likable in this new series.
I mean, I loved Joyce in It’s Walky!, but only after she’d grown up a lot. A lot of the beginning stuff with her I kinda really hated.
But she’s oddly mature here. At least, she knows her faith and is fairly down to earth about it. She’s substantially less neurotic than I’d have guessed you’d have written her when I first heard about this series. Even if she IS a “Ring By Spring” girl, she’s just so darn LIKABLE.
I’m actually praying for her to avoid this coming outcome. You’ve got me PRAYING for a fictional character. That’s kinda creepy, now that I think of it.
DAMN YOU, WILLIS!
its because Joyce is the only character with bright blue eyes
I have to admire Ryan’s persistence, if nothing else. Most sexual predators would have moved on to easier prey by now.
all this being said, there actually isn’t any concrete, or even circumstantial, proof that hes actually gonna drug/date rape joyce. all were going on is that he called her a mark and got her a sprite after dorothy brought up the concept of the drugged sprite. for all we know he simply fancies himself as a bit of a ladies man and when he said “mark” he simply meant “she who i intend to sleep with”
Actually it was Sarah who placed Chekov’s sprite on the mantle. But at this point I am assuming the drink is a red herring to distract us from Ryan’s real plan.
Trope power!
Honestly, if I saw a guy that persistently, but quietly following a girl, including tending to her drink, and everything else he is doing, at a party, I would be keeping an eye on him. Joyce is a naive extrovert, open and non selective in her conversation. Christian, whatever, they are always going to show up at college parties heavy in freshman. Ryan is a quiet introvert who is selective in his conversation. They are not common to frosh parties, and his presence, especially without any friends showing up to explain his presence, make him suspicious.
oh what you don’t see at college parties
…would you drink ryan’s kool aid?
hey, i make EXQUISITE kool-aid! but only grape and ice blue raspberry lemonade.
We can only hope that Dorothy finds them in time.
*Starts praying* Dear Lord…….
And wrath! Fiery violent wrath for touching thine anointed!
The last panel makes me think he might be about to drink his own roofies. I know that CAN’T be what happens, but still, makes me laugh.
I’m gonna guess the drinks get switched and he ends up in bed with Beef.
This. I would DIE laughing at it.
Ha! They’d both get up wondering who got…and who gave.
And we both know the answer to that.
A new position called the Ouroborous?
“Where am I? What happened? And who’s laying on my arm?”
*grunt*
this guys needs to get punched. soon.
If that avatar is random, that is the best matchup I have ever seen.
I can’t help reading the comments and automatically assuming they are being said by the avatars.
This may be going beyond a roofie-rape. I mean, why persist on Joyce when there are dozens of girls around? My only guess is that she wants a virgin, which I suppose are rare in college.
They can’t be that rare among college freshmen, surely?
It’s pretty well documented that violent criminals, serial rapists, etc have a tendency to seek out people with certain characteristics. People who give off a certain image, who have certain body language, who dress a certain way. Do they seem timid, shy, innocent, weak? I’m not studied enough to have a comprehensive list of the most common attributes sought by rapists, but considering that Joyce is the only person remotely like herself at this party it seems more than probable she’s the only person present that fits Ryan’s interests.
I hope this guy enjoys getting his ass kicked by every single character in the entire comic, as well as everyone that has met Joyce at the party.
He also already bears the collective hatred of the entire readership. Really, take a gander at the comments forums for strips involving him. The friendly to hostile ratio is zero to one.
He needs to have a date with Joyce just like Joe’s……. except with more punching
Persistent little rapist isn’t he? Assuming that’s actually his intent, and this doesn’t turn out to be to one of Willis’ shocking 180 moves.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened, because Willis has been pretty consistent in testing Joyce specifically through trauma. It has been a numbers of years since he wrote those story lines, but that was one of her defining characteristics for a while, that she was part of the Walky, Sal, Head Alien Quadrilateral of Emotional Horror. I don’t really know what I’d expect out of the comic if Joyce got to enjoy life, as I have been so thoroughly conditioned to expect her and Walky and Sal to suffer. And so far in DofA, Walky and Sal have been doing so little suffering that if Joyce or somebody doesn’t pick up the slack, I’m going to completely lose touch with reality.
And he set the drink down on a wooden dresser and left a watermark.
Whatta prick.
I was on the fence about the castration issue, but now he really has gone too far!
First you see the ring… and then you DIE!
Y’know what would be an amazing shock.. if Ryan turns out to be protecting her from a guy he knows is at the party to date rape girls?
But then you have to explain away why he was trying to get her alone in a room…. soo… yeah.
Easy. He didn’t want the guy to notice that she knows about his intentions. Btw, this would also be a great way to gain a naive girl’s trust, tell her that you know a really evil man is after her and you’re the only one who can protect her, so she’ll have to stick quite close to you…
Everyone! Make your hands thirst for his neck!
It doesn’t take much effort. D:<
CHOKE SLAMS FOR EVERYONE!
not the first time i’ve seen that
http://betweenfailures.com/archive/686-choke-slams-for-everyone/
and that also reminds me
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QC-PAP&Category_Code=QC
i read way too many webcomics
[Automated message service]:
Asuka would like to apologize for not personally delivering a reply, but any effort would simply have resulted in typing several onomatopoeia for inspired roars of approval. It is the responsibility of this service therefore to indicate that yes, her hands indeed thirst for Ryan’s neck.
Hands…so thirsty…
Matter of fact screw that!
lets take him to the east side of brooklyn! Beat downs for everyone named ryan!
I’m kind of hoping this drink turns out to just be his patented health tonic. He pays his tuition by selling vitimanized Seirra Mist to gullible rubes.
Roofied. So obviously Roofied.
Oh god NOES! D:
Don´t drink it, Joyce! DON´T!
MIKE! Where´s Mike when you need him?
Amazi-girl! Gawd, stop beating random guys, safe Joyce!
Dorothy! Find her faster, FASTER I SAID!!!
Panic mode on:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH~
Mr. President, I told you I have the situation under control. Two mech units have already arrived on scene, and are currently gaining control of the situation. They were detained while restraining a heavily inebriated woman carrying miniature kegs and flurrying about at blinding speeds.
Wil your mechs rape ryan?
Physically? No, they’d be disgusted by the very idea. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? In a heartbeat, and with great joy.
Those don’t count anyway, though.
A second identical cup will get introduced after which Joyce pulls a switcharoo. Ryan and Joyce engage in a battle of the wits.
Ryan: It’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you whether you would put the roofie in your own plastic cup or mine? Now a clever girl would put the roofie in her own cup, because she would know only a great fool would reach for what he is given. I am not a great fool, so I must clearly not choose the wine in front you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the plastic cup in front of me.
Joyce: So you have come to your decision then?
Ryan: Not remotely, because you are from a Fundamentalist Christian community, where you are surely used to being trusted. So I can clearly not choose the plastic cup in front of me.
Joyce: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Ryan: Wait till I get started! Now where was I?
Joyce: Sheltered life.
Ryan: Right. You must have realized that I would know your origins, so I can clearly not choose the plastic cup in front of you.
Joyce: You’re stalling.
Ryan: You’d like to think that wouldn’t you! You’ve attended this sinful establishment which means you are fearless, so you could have placed the roofy in your own plastic cup trusting in your fortitude to save you, so I clearly cannot choose the plastic cup in front of you! But you’ve also bested my drunkards, which means you’ve studied, and in studying you must have learned that humankind is mortal, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Joyce: You’re trying to trick me into giving something away, it won’t work.
Ryan: IT HAS WORKED! YOU’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE ROOFY IS!
Joyce: Then make your choice.
Ryan: I will, and I choose – What in the world can that be?
[gestures away from the table. Joyce looks away and Ryan switches the cups]
Joyce: What? Where? I don’t see anything.
Ryan: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[they drink]
Joyce: You guessed wrong.
Ryan: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Scuzzbag when Chastity is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
[Ryan stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground unconscious]
Roz: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was drugged.
Joyce: They were both drugged. I’ve spent the last few years developing an immunity to Rohypnol.
[Buckets of Blood guy comes and drags Ryan off. No one says a word]
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh man. Thanks. I needed that.
Funny as that was, I found myself wondering what would lead to Joyce developing such an immunity from overexposure to the substance. Not a happy thoughts place.
The same thing that lead her to bring a hired goon to her date I imagine. The girl likes to be prepared.
The immunity was developed over a course of years whenever they took joyce into town for whatever reason (shopping, tests, weekly beatings…) and eventually joyce just learned to tune the world out when ever she tasted the happy flavor.
I swear, if he so much as touches her, I’ll will force my way into the comic by sheer will and kill him in the most painful manner possible.
what happened to amazi-girl? i thought she was beating up everyone that wasn’t hanging around dorothy or joyce.
IT’S A TRAP!
Is it just booze or did he… put roofie in it? if he did. kick him in nuts so hard that even his great grandchildren will feel it.
Neither. It’s… SIERRA MIST! *dun-dun-dunnnn!*
Honestly, at this point nothing has been stated outright, it’s merely implied that there’s something up with it, and most people are assuming it’s a roofie.
I realy think thats nothing more then pop, and i find it realy sad that everyone is so hell bent on him being a monster.
A. There wouldn’t be any sort of focus on that if it was just soda.
B. He’s already thought of her as a “mark”, as in “easy prey.” He’s not the nice guy you’re thinking he is. =\
This guy’s intent is probably what everyone thinks it, but there’s a little corner of my mind that says “What if the drink IS a red herring and Willis is focusing on the cup just to throw us off what he really has coming?”
I think the focuse on the soda is more of a red herring, and i don’t remer him doing anything(in this comic or the other one) that implies he would do anything bad here
ok im wrong i found the comic that said he pinged her as his mark, when i read it the first time i thought he was looking for his friend named mark.
I have a bridge in Omaha that I bet you’d be just dying to purchase. Primo real estate, complete with toll-booths on both sides and no property tax. Nothing but profit, and the sky’s the limit. And I’m offering for the insanely low price of (get this) $1.25 million. You can’t GET a better deal.
Of course, you have to act now and the money must be paid in full and up front to get this special offer. Call now! 1-888-SUCKER.
Congratulations Andrew! You just won the UK Lotto from a random drawing. Just make sure to pay the £2,000 retainer fee and we’ll release the funds, which can be picked up in Nigeria. You’ll have to book a flight, and make sure to bring a brand new laptop computer. Once again, CONGRATULATIONS!
Well, according to Mkvenner, it could be Fanta.
Just found this comic over the weekend. Love it. Went back and started from the beginning. Looking forward to further comics.
P.S. Hope someone figures out what this creep is doing and helps Joyce before he destroys her.
I have faaaaaaith that everything will work out for Joyce
I don’t think I’ve seen that image of Joyce before. I’m not sure whether she’s mocking your observation or showing defiance in support of it.
you haven’t seen it cause I made it this way lol. I have others too
ATTACK WARNING RED
So we are all in agreement that that is most likely a Roofie Colada, right?
Either that or Willis just wants us to think so.
Now I’ve got Escape (aka the Pina Colada song) stuck in my head with alternate lyrics, none of which are very comfortable.
DO. NOT. WANT.
Maybe he went out somewhere and got her a REAL Sprite and really wants her to drink it to show her what a really great guy he is. And there is nothing bad in it.
Tonight, on To Catch a Predator…
If Joyce gets hurt because of this, I’ll be very very angry!
In an alternate reality, that “Find Mark” panel didn’t exist and we’d still be arguing over Ryan’s intentions. (With, I think, most of us thinking he’s sleaze by now.)
This was probably already said, because there’s almost 200 comments, but hey! that’s the guy who messed with Ruth!
Cheezus, can Evil Bizarro world Leslie please be hit by a meteor yet?
probably already been said but… why didn’t she bring Mike?
Mike’s not going to come when it’s actually helpful.
Am I the only one who noticed the lampshading here? “Goodness, it’s crowded in here all of a sudden” indeed.
If I was Joyce’s big brother….the firepower produced by my Sig 226 surpasses whatever a civilian could legs;;y buy
“Do not crave that ruler’s delicacies, for that food is deceptive.”
Proverbs 23:3