Cog Kleinschmidt is a diligent, quiet worker at the Mercia Fortress, the world power's leading stronghold. His orderly life is thrown into chaos when an enemy kingdom sends a diplomat for peace talks. This diplomat needs something from Cog - whether he agrees to their terms or not!
Killjoys
Flatw00ds
When two disgraced ex-feds fall backwards into trouble with the clown mafia, getting out in one piece is gonna be no joke!
The Witch Door
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Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
Star Trip
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Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
El Goonish Shive
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WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Far to the North
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Kelu turns to the monsters of her remote mountain home when her family is held hostage by outsiders.
Hazy London
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A story about messy relationships. From friendly foes to crazy families. Nothing is black and white, just full of color. But, all colors can get a little hazy...
Lunar Blight
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Lunar Blight is a gothic horror story about an elite knight serving a moon cult who must choose between upholding his honoured duty or condemning everything he’s grown to know.
Wychwood
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When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Dumbing of Age
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Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Knights Errant
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Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Come Hell or High Water
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Drugs & Wires
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Dan used to be a VR operator until his brain got fried by malware. Now he's stuck delivering packages in a post-Soviet hellhole all while trying to adjust to his new life and find some answers.
Monster Pulse
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Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
Demon's Mirror
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Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
How to be a Werewolf
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Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Folklore
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A superhuman horror story focused on a small band of survivors trying to navigate a war-torn world in the aftermath of the Federation’s collapse.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Demon Studies
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Four students summon and study potentially dangerous demons within the walls of the mysterious Summerland University.
Between Failures
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The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
The Otherknown
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Chandra is a 12-year-old accidental time traveler with a reluctant new dad, who happens to be a member of a feared galactic crime syndicate.
Heart of Gold
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A pianist with failing eyesight seeks out a priest with a miraculous healing touch, drawing him deeper into a world of miracles and curses.
Lighter Than Heir
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A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
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A fantasy RPG as told through the eyes of the low-level monsters.
Empowered
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A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Solstoria
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After her brother goes missing, Samantha vows to become a Knight and help those around her in the Kingdom of St. Helena.
Girl Genius
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In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
2 Slices
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After a case of mistaken identity, will awkward Daisuke find help from excitable Mamo, or will his love life be thrown completely off track?
Atomic Robo
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The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
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A depressed, portly, hirsute anime fan stumbles through life in the ever-pursuit of chicken nuggets and other life-shortening indulgences.
Tove
Severin
The end of the world is coming, and Tove doesn't want to be a hero, but SOMEONE has to look after her little brother.
Anacrine Complex
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A superhuman heist involving probably too many pigeons than entirely necessary.
Spinnerette
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Fairmeadow
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A wayward soldier finds herself in a pacifist commune deep in the wilderness of a war-weary land. Living in isolation brings her closer to those she was sworn to kill than she could ever imagine - but also threatens to tear the place apart.
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Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Patrik the Vampire
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Patrik loves to knit, bake, and help his friends while dealing with his own demons... like his thirst for blood because, oh yeah--he's a vampire.
[un]Divine
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Sam & Fuzzy
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Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
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I still foam at the mouth over screencaps, which are somehow ENORMOUS when done from a phone and e-mailed, and the phone never tells you said screencap is like 2MB and the e-mail never tells you there’s a 500MB quota bc something something I.T. said
actually Joe, Joyce cares very much about food not touching, also
Joyce cares about things being kept in their easily identified if restrictive and boring boxes. She sometimes gets upset when things are more complicated than that: food, people.
Relationships?
Amber is a monster for using her goddamn phone for screencaps. There’s a printscreen button! There’s also a Snip tool default on Windows that lets you crop out and copy a portion of your screen! It is 500x more convenient than using your phone for that nonsense!
It can definitely be frustrating to get someone’s pronouns wrong, but usually a simple correction is enough. People have varying thoughts on even including a “sorry”– as a they/them, I personally appreciate a quick “sorry” along with the correction, but not one that there’s any expectation I’d reply to. Now, the “DAMN IT!”s here? That would make me uncomfortable, and I think sort of does here even just witnessing it.
When a self-correction is accompanied by a berating of self, it can put it on the person who was mis-pronouned to be like, “It’s okay.” or “Don’t worry about it.” or something, and that’s really not fair. That’s why some people don’t even like a “sorry” thrown in.
Thanks for sharing. But I do not intend those dammits implicate anyone as much as I intend them to reflect my struggle against widespread binary indoctrination, against indoctrination of all kinds, really.
It’s just so frustrating and even agonizing to know that your brain is constantly lying to you.
Thanks for understanding. There can be any number of reasons behind people’s actions and speeches that are seemingly out of line. In fact, one of the most important ways we are able to distinguish actual meanness from apparent meanness is giving people the opportunity to explain themselves.
Anyway, I miss Milu, and I hope they come back soon!
I know for a fact that I once tried to take a screencap of an overlayed translation with the goolge translation tool and it simply did not allowed that. I had to take a picture of the phone with an other phone. I would never have to deal with that kind of foolery on my computer.
I wonder if she has actually put any thought into her saying “cocksucking” or not. Does she realize what that is and actually thought about it? Or is she just parroting stuff she has heard?
I mean, it doesn’t take much imagination to guess what cocksucking means if you know what cock means, so the most important question is really if Joyce has put to memory the meaning of the word cock.
A friend of mine didn’t learn the word “dick” until freshman year of college when she heard her roommate say it, and she wasn’t even raised in a religious household or otherwise denied access to, like, media or other kids. But she did know the word “cock,” and in the conversation where she told me about learning “dick,” argued that there didn’t need to be more than one slang term for a penis.
Yup, she’s American. We went to the same high school and college, and when she was telling me this the the college dining hall, I was like, “I have failed to properly prepare you for the many words you will encounter.”
I like to think you then calmly started reciting a very long list of words. Then told her that if you did the same for female genitalia you might well be asked to leave since the male words tend to be viewed as puerile/silly/relatively mild insults, whereas the female ones are often Serious Insults. Because of that thing where women are evil temptresses using our vile wiles and our evil succubus pleasure zones to destroy humanity one man at a time (y’know, unless we’re chaste property – virgin daughters or meekly submissive wives who are functionally incubators for The Heir, also child-rearers and house-keepers. Maybe wage supplementers depending on social status… But not actual people, and not allowed pleasure. HISTORICALLY, of course… )
Thank you.
I’m sorry you had to say it.
It winds me up that you said it, that you needed to, and that it is still spot on, and that it is so necessary that you continue to say it. And that there are still bongos and politicians out there who haven’t processed it.
So thank you for saying it again.
Arrrrggggh, it winds me up it does.
Dear men, women are not out to get you, they are not superior to you, you do not need to fear them. But by all that is here, above, and below, they are your full equals. Get it! Get with it! And grow up!
Like George Carlin said about ‘cocksucking’ (and the other four-syllable one we all know) in his “Seven Dirty Words” routine — “Those are… those are heavy-weight words. There’s a lot going on there, man! Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They’re just busy words.”
To be fair, they just asked R.T.D. to remember the comment from yesterday. Also, while Amber may not be using the best word choices, an animal behaviorist might still read her performance as dismissive. She’s seemingly trying to ignore JJ and is actively creating a dialogue about an inane topic completely tangential to why J or J approached her. Which would likely read as discouraging to anyone around Amber being remotely aware of her feelings. (I’m calling you both out here JJ)
Cool. It’s a pity Joyce isn’t on there with a documented ‘0’ though. It seems like she would be a decent baseline for the rest. (and maybe some nonverbal one-off character). Also, I’m guessing this is maintained manually, unless there’s a published script with each comic (like schlock did) that I’ve missed all these years. (honestly I don’t know why more comics /don’t/ include text only scripts. It would help both fans AND authors search the comic, and increase accessibility for low/no vision readers.
Joyce is actually in there, but the code that generates the bars doesn’t display a bar for a character until they have at least one F-bomb attributed to them. But Joyce has an assigned color (the orange of Walkyverse-Joyce’s customary T-shirt), and I keep her appearance count updated, which I don’t bother doing for the other characters that don’t have an F-bomb to their name.
Joe is shallow because Joyce relied on him for something of enormous importance to her, and Joe not only helped to the best of his abilities but did so with zero understood contradiction of his role as Manly No Feels Sex Bro, and then when Joyce came back and assumed that pulling some humanity out of Joe meant he was actually good all along only for Joe to stonewall any attempts at emotionally engaging with her until she came clean about Ryan and Joe’s contributing to that miasma, something that Joe has at least nominally walked back on, that’s why Joyce thinks he’s shallow.
Also, as the penis twitches, the eye flails all over the place above the fixed base. When a bird walks (I’m imagining pigeons here, predators don’t have a notably weird bird-walk) their eyes remain stationary until the head snaps forward to a new static position, all of which occurs above a moving base.
Y’all aren’t wrong. But there comes a point for some people, that it simply does not matter what you say to them. They simply don’t register the meaning of the words coming out of your mouth, and remain permanently fixated on an idea in their head. Verbal confrontations, while remaining necessary for the speaker to establish boundaries, are often less than satisfying because you know the recipient can’t actually hear you.
In Firefox I just right click anywhere on the screen, choose Take Screenshot, click’n’drag to create the shot, then click either Copy or Download. Easy peasy.
Yeah, but sometimes your phone can’t take screenshots of certain apps, so a computer is better unless you have to futz with the hardware acceleration settings so you can take a screenshot of Netflix.
I think that it is a case of her talking about her problems and everyone else ignoring her because their own problems are coincidentally reaching critical mass at the same time!
I thought at first Amber was just trying to answer their questions from yesterday’s strip and they’re ignoring her because they’re too busy arguing. But now I’m not so sure.
Fun Fact! My laptop keyboard has like…a handful of keys that just don’t work cuz I kept it in the bathroom when I showered. (Yeah I brought it in to play music. I didn’t know the steam would damage it!) so now I prefer using my phone to my laptop. Though my desktop is the best of both worlds.
If you head for your closest Goodwill or other thrift/resale shop, you can probably find a second-hand USB plug-in keyboard for around five bucks. Stick it into one of your laptop’s USB ports and you’re good to go.
Yeah, I’m enjoying this. Joe and Joyce arguing like this has me shipping them even more than I already was. And I like that Amber just keep talking about her phone and laptop while that’s going on.
I miss yelling-bird and sweet-tits. Was also really hoping pint-size would remain in his anthro body, but I understand that Jeph wants to go somewhere with that.
amber’s right though. it IS easier to type on the laptop. i hate typing on my phone so much. i wish phones these days still had actual buttons instead of a flat screen.
Is this how we learn that the Whiteboard Ding-dong Bandit couldn’t easily get the whiteboards clean afterwards, and had to employ a little spit n’ polish? Did it awaken something?
If you accidently write on a whiteboard with a permanent marker, take an erasable marker and draw over it. Then you should be able to wipe both of them off.
There may be a bit of shadow left over.
(The arc in question had this same suggestion among others in the comments roughly 15 zillion times per strip. AG just told Joyce there were dozens of ways to remove them.)
I was testing a software application that was generating an error. I needed to capture the error to log it, but whenever i tried the print screen button or the snipping tool the error popup would vanish. So, i took a quick picture of the screen with my phone.
Poor Amber! I wonder how often she tries to express herself and explain her problems only to have an audience who are entirely focused on themselves?
Joe, meanwhile, is wondering if being aroused by Joyce when she’s in this mood is a good or a bad thing. Joyce, on the other hand, seems likely to kiss him out of a tension and annoyance overload!
Please forgive my aromantic ignorance, but do people really kiss “out of a tension and annoyance overload”? I’d assumed that was just something that happened in movies.
Then again, I never understood the appeal of squashing one’s lips against another person’s (and how do you even figure out whose nose goes where?), so maybe the concept’s perfectly reasonable somehow.
It only makes sense if there is underlying attraction that can be acted on. You will likely not kiss your absolute archenemy that you find repulsive as sin and have no physical or emotional attraction to.
But if someone is overloaded with emotion, acting on their attraction can be the emotional outlet they end up taking because emotions need to stop, releasing them must be done in any way possible ASAP.
You’re a compsci student, you have to have the snip tool on your computer, or at least printscreen to shove into GIMP or some other freeware photoshop alternative! Only complete monsters take screencaps with their goddamn phones!
Are you…talking about taking a picture of the screen with your phone? Or? That’s the only way I could make sense of this anger, which is otherwise being directed at a very common practice.
I have heard it said that phones (and other consumer electronics) have now been simplified and been made user-friendly enough that it can no longer be assumed that young people are more tech-savvy than their elders; both are equally confused and at a loss when something doesn’t “just work”.
They do, and it bugs the shit out of me because they’re dragging real computers down with them. “No, I don’t need error codes! Just throw a “oopsy there was a pwobwem, sowwy” message up on the screen, maybe add a frowny face too, why not!” Gah!
Amber’s right that smart devices can take screenshots almost instantly by holding a couple physical buttons; I haven’t seen them get taken that fast since the pre-OS X Mac days (when Command-Shift-3 dumped the screen to an image file, complete with digitized camera shutter sound). Even Snipping Tool isn’t that fast (but it’s still a vast improvement over the old way).
Fluffy yet entirely useless error messages are a huge pet peeve of mine too, speaking as a geek who grew up in the 80’s and 90’s. “Oops, something went wrong!” Yeah, I KNOW something went wrong. What I NEED is more information about WHAT went wrong so I can solve it!
Very much this, I come from a generation where personal computers were only starting to get popular in my country and we had to do a lot of own learning and work,. Reinstalling the operating system, fixing problems etc. etc. Nowadays the computers are reliable enough that your average user doesn’t really have to know much to operate one.
Joyce is so rude with poor Joe. She should know that he’s totally obsessed by family. Her bad humour is making her really angry and susceptible. Poor Joe, he looks so sad hearing Joyce say such words… Also, I admire Amber’s capacity to ignore their quarrel.
For all the folk upset that Amber is taking screencaps with her phone instead of PrintScr, I would like to point out that this in line with Garbage Roof mentality. Besides, if you want to put a laptop screencap on your phone, taking the picture with your phone is the quickest method. Plus it trolls all the internet types that would get upset.
I just… You press the power button and the volume down button at the same time. That captures your phone’s screen. Why do people think she’s talking about photographing her laptop screen?
My girl Ambs out here dropping knowledge while these chumps just yell over each other about the things they DEFINITELY would NEVER WANT TO DO TO EACH OTHER, especially BLOWJOBS, Joyce, Joe has NEVER imagined you giving one
And Joyce has certainly never wondered just what Joe looks like doenstairs, nope, no way, no how, not ever, certainly not after her ascension as the Ding Dong White Board Bandit, and DEFINITELY not after getting a faceful of Joe-in-boxers earlier today.
Reading the strip early this morning before getting out of bed. Laughed out loud at Joyce. The Mrs asked me what was so funny, so I showed her.
Didnt find it humorous one bit.
DoA – obviously for discriminating readers.
I mean this particular joke doesn’t really land properly if you’re not a regular reader— it’s only shocking if you know what Joyce is generally like. That’s less a criticism and more a natural consequence of this being a serialized dramedy that’s been running for a decade.
My new favorite side game in the comic is pretending certain dialogue bits are going to be very inappropriate titles for the current chapter/book. Guess which one I picked today.
Yep the whole trio here is looking particularly stupid and maybe demented this time around.
Kinda weird how people can go from complete smartass to braindead within the same person, and within a short timespan, then just ramp back up to normal.
Definitely projecting my own experiences, but for this whole Joe/Joyce interaction I’ve been really relating to Joe here. And that is a weird place to be, given….you know, Joe.
I can just see it in his head: that thing where there’s this person you care about, and you know rationally that your ideological differences & sexual preferences would probably not mesh well, but a part of you is still interested, despite yourself, because of the slight chance it might be kinky and glorious….
I guess key here is that you can still respect someone while feeling this weird kinda way about them. And you can still respect them while wishing they hadn’t said “cocksucking” because now you DEFINITELY have that image in your head
I hope Josh Johnson is given The Daily Show and is allowed to rebuild it from scratch in his own image just like Jon Stewart got to do in 99.
He has built his own groundbreaking form of topical comedy, and imitating the style of others is something he is great at, but better than.
thinking about how mario's head has stayed the exact same size his entire life, while princess peach's head has shrunk on its way into adulthood
David M Willis!@damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
do you think Mario, Luigi, and the Princesses have, like, existential crises about the baby versions of themselves also just casually being next to them in all the races
like I would be having ego death right now, not leaping triumphantly
do you think Mario, Luigi, and the Princesses have, like, existential crises about the baby versions of themselves also just casually being next to them in all the races
like I would be having ego death right now, not leaping triumphantly
For July's first bonus strip, folks voted for DEXTER and MONKEY MASTER! For world domination! Read this bonus strip and hundreds of previous at the Dumbing of Age Patreon:
www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-...
and remember you can always pledge up to read tomorrow's strip
Good news for the people still circulating this post: it is now a real t-shirt you can purchase and wear to let the world know you take responsibility for the actions of fictional characters:
The Emotion Engine@emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
Normally I’d let this sort of thing just die out but an alarming amount of you have asked where you can buy this and my wife had to have an emergency surgery the day before I made this, so here is my chance to live the American Dream (selling print-on-demand shirts to pay down medical debt)
The Emotion Engine@emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 13d
Working on a t-shirt to sell to the weird people that show up in your mentions every time you talk about enjoying something that has crime or impure thought in it.
Someone leaked the entire unreleased Micronauts animated series to archive.org
All 52 episodes
Yes they FULLY FINISHED a Micronauts cartoon in the early 2020s and mothballed it
Vangelus@vangelus.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
tested ep1 of Micronauts, skipped to the credits so I could see every name of every crew member who put in so much work with the expectation that anybody would ever see the thing they did as part of their vocation in a creative field, working in service of what should be a reliable client & partner
tested ep1 of Micronauts, skipped to the credits so I could see every name of every crew member who put in so much work with the expectation that anybody would ever see the thing they did as part of their vocation in a creative field, working in service of what should be a reliable client & partner
admittedly, i might be arriving at a little annoyance on behalf of anyone responded to ever with "WELL it's not called SMARTING of age" because that's become a lot, i think the fork might be in that one, it's done
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that "how to lie" is not, actually, achieved by cupping the balls, despite the evidence of the entirety of the first panel, but by some other giant pile of words i guess, tl;dr
“It’s not me who’s a bigot,” they always argue. “I’m fine with all you people. But the rest of the electorate is full of bigots, on whose behalf I will now speak”
The two greatest evils known to mankind, A.I. and the person directly in front of you in line at the post office, have finally teamed up. We’re done.
Frances “Poet Laureate of the Robot Alliance” Klein@fklein907.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Woman in line in front of me at the post office is not happy about the cost of shipping. She just whipped out her phone, asked ChatGPT how much it thinks the shipping should cost, and is trying to get the mailman to honor that price.
OK democrats shutting down congress by attaching Epstein amendments to everything is pretty funny
Aaron Fritschner@fritschner.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Politico & Punchbowl report House Republican leadership is shutting down the Rules Committee - which is essential for moving party-line bills on the floor - for the week rather than vote on Democratic amendments on the Epstein files.
Dems have effectively halted Republican legislation in the House:
I still foam at the mouth over screencaps, which are somehow ENORMOUS when done from a phone and e-mailed, and the phone never tells you said screencap is like 2MB and the e-mail never tells you there’s a 500MB quota bc something something I.T. said
actually Joe, Joyce cares very much about food not touching, also
also Joyce DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG
It’s ok Joe. You’re not the only one thinking about it now.
Can we focus on what’s important? Amber prefers laptops to cellphones. As do all right thinking people.
Whose lap top are we talking about here? Because there are a great many laps that I’m rather meh over, but I could really get into others…
Amen. But my desktop is still my favorite.
Joyce cares about things being kept in their easily identified if restrictive and boring boxes. She sometimes gets upset when things are more complicated than that: food, people.
Relationships?
Amber is a monster for using her goddamn phone for screencaps. There’s a printscreen button! There’s also a Snip tool default on Windows that lets you crop out and copy a portion of your screen! It is 500x more convenient than using your phone for that nonsense!
Bro, I think you might not understand what taking screencaps on your phone means…
Hey, has anyone seen Milu? I don’t think she’s been here for weeks. Sure hope they’re OK…
No idea why this is a reply to my comment but.
Wasn’t Milu talking about going off somewhere for work? And WiFi would be a 30 minute (not 30 feet) walk away.
*they’ve been here for weeks.
DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
It can definitely be frustrating to get someone’s pronouns wrong, but usually a simple correction is enough. People have varying thoughts on even including a “sorry”– as a they/them, I personally appreciate a quick “sorry” along with the correction, but not one that there’s any expectation I’d reply to. Now, the “DAMN IT!”s here? That would make me uncomfortable, and I think sort of does here even just witnessing it.
When a self-correction is accompanied by a berating of self, it can put it on the person who was mis-pronouned to be like, “It’s okay.” or “Don’t worry about it.” or something, and that’s really not fair. That’s why some people don’t even like a “sorry” thrown in.
Thanks for sharing. But I do not intend those dammits implicate anyone as much as I intend them to reflect my struggle against widespread binary indoctrination, against indoctrination of all kinds, really.
It’s just so frustrating and even agonizing to know that your brain is constantly lying to you.
Fair enough, but you know what they say about intentions. And really even with those intentions…the point stands.
Thanks for understanding. There can be any number of reasons behind people’s actions and speeches that are seemingly out of line. In fact, one of the most important ways we are able to distinguish actual meanness from apparent meanness is giving people the opportunity to explain themselves.
Anyway, I miss Milu, and I hope they come back soon!
Oh, I still think it was out of line, though I never thought it was mean.
Woops. I meant “seemingly ill-intended”.
Oh, well, I never thought it was ill-intended.
I know for a fact that I once tried to take a screencap of an overlayed translation with the goolge translation tool and it simply did not allowed that. I had to take a picture of the phone with an other phone. I would never have to deal with that kind of foolery on my computer.
Phones are one thing, I have these bozos taking photos of their LAPTOPS, of normal ass WEBPAGES
One of my husband’s relatives “sent” us a little questionnaire for a family calendar they were putting together.
They very carefully typed up all the questions, printed them out, TOOK A PHOTO, and emailed it to us as a jpeg.
It was upside down. *facepalm*
I did not bother with it.
*froth*
I take photos of screens with my phone all the time. Sometimes it’s the only way to capture an error message on an airgapped system.
(Seriously my work phone’s about 80% full of error message and URL screen photos.)
Fine but this is of websites!! Which can be done on a personal computer!!! For my personal grievance
Yahbut does she record vertical video?
She, in fact, does not.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/conceded/
Does our little fun die have an oral fixation?? Hahahahaha
yeah, an Oral Roberts fixation
Ewww!
Oral Roberts is a university!? Who in the hell thought that was a good name for a school?
Presumably, Oral Roberts.
Joyce Brown, Future Pornlord
She might just have to become a Porn Demigod first.
She did draw on all those whiteboards.
I wonder if she has actually put any thought into her saying “cocksucking” or not. Does she realize what that is and actually thought about it? Or is she just parroting stuff she has heard?
I wonder what’s worse to her: the meal she delivered to Sarah or cocksucking.
Give her time, she might learn to enjoy them both. :V
HAS she delivered it, though? She’s still carrying it here…
I mean, it doesn’t take much imagination to guess what cocksucking means if you know what cock means, so the most important question is really if Joyce has put to memory the meaning of the word cock.
A friend of mine didn’t learn the word “dick” until freshman year of college when she heard her roommate say it, and she wasn’t even raised in a religious household or otherwise denied access to, like, media or other kids. But she did know the word “cock,” and in the conversation where she told me about learning “dick,” argued that there didn’t need to be more than one slang term for a penis.
Assuming they were American, I am impressed they managed to never stumble across the word, especially in high school.
Yup, she’s American. We went to the same high school and college, and when she was telling me this the the college dining hall, I was like, “I have failed to properly prepare you for the many words you will encounter.”
I like to think you then calmly started reciting a very long list of words. Then told her that if you did the same for female genitalia you might well be asked to leave since the male words tend to be viewed as puerile/silly/relatively mild insults, whereas the female ones are often Serious Insults. Because of that thing where women are evil temptresses using our vile wiles and our evil succubus pleasure zones to destroy humanity one man at a time (y’know, unless we’re chaste property – virgin daughters or meekly submissive wives who are functionally incubators for The Heir, also child-rearers and house-keepers. Maybe wage supplementers depending on social status… But not actual people, and not allowed pleasure. HISTORICALLY, of course…
)
Thank you.
I’m sorry you had to say it.
It winds me up that you said it, that you needed to, and that it is still spot on, and that it is so necessary that you continue to say it. And that there are still bongos and politicians out there who haven’t processed it.
So thank you for saying it again.
Arrrrggggh, it winds me up it does.
Dear men, women are not out to get you, they are not superior to you, you do not need to fear them. But by all that is here, above, and below, they are your full equals. Get it! Get with it! And grow up!
Its not surprising she never heard the word “dick” before… Most people just say “detective”.
What?
She’s been reading Amber’s slashfic, she could know of/ have fantasized about literally any sexual act by now.
Like George Carlin said about ‘cocksucking’ (and the other four-syllable one we all know) in his “Seven Dirty Words” routine —
“Those are… those are heavy-weight words. There’s a lot going on there, man! Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They’re just busy words.”
It’s like I’m looking into a mirror
Anyway, as requested by RacingTurtle and mrnoidea… called it.
Shoot, link doesn’t work. Hang on… called it?
Amber is not continuing with asking them to leave. She is now considering more important matters.
To be fair, they just asked R.T.D. to remember the comment from yesterday. Also, while Amber may not be using the best word choices, an animal behaviorist might still read her performance as dismissive. She’s seemingly trying to ignore JJ and is actively creating a dialogue about an inane topic completely tangential to why J or J approached her. Which would likely read as discouraging to anyone around Amber being remotely aware of her feelings. (I’m calling you both out here JJ)
Bro she said cocksucking! Talk about character development…
Who knew developing your character could be so easy.
But her ‘F-bomb count’ is still stuck at zero.
try that again … F-bomb count
Looks like Billie IS Top of the Class in SOMETHING after all.
Cool. It’s a pity Joyce isn’t on there with a documented ‘0’ though. It seems like she would be a decent baseline for the rest. (and maybe some nonverbal one-off character). Also, I’m guessing this is maintained manually, unless there’s a published script with each comic (like schlock did) that I’ve missed all these years. (honestly I don’t know why more comics /don’t/ include text only scripts. It would help both fans AND authors search the comic, and increase accessibility for low/no vision readers.
Joyce is actually in there, but the code that generates the bars doesn’t display a bar for a character until they have at least one F-bomb attributed to them. But Joyce has an assigned color (the orange of Walkyverse-Joyce’s customary T-shirt), and I keep her appearance count updated, which I don’t bother doing for the other characters that don’t have an F-bomb to their name.
Thanks for the follow-up. Your job would probably be way easier with an available text script. Ah well.
C’mon Joyce, if Joe was that shallow why were you texting him as a confidante?
She doesn’t need to be in the right to be angry and confrontational with Joe. She can do that when she’s wrong too.
Joe is shallow because Joyce relied on him for something of enormous importance to her, and Joe not only helped to the best of his abilities but did so with zero understood contradiction of his role as Manly No Feels Sex Bro, and then when Joyce came back and assumed that pulling some humanity out of Joe meant he was actually good all along only for Joe to stonewall any attempts at emotionally engaging with her until she came clean about Ryan and Joe’s contributing to that miasma, something that Joe has at least nominally walked back on, that’s why Joyce thinks he’s shallow.
Wait when did Joyce tell Joe about what happened with Ryan?
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/04-the-do-list/object/
I see Joe and Joyce are proceeding to have a deeply personal conversation, right here.
No, no, I think it’s important that Joyce say “cocksucking.”
Yeah. This. This is a surprise. Not sure if I like it yet.
*plays “Filthy Gorgeous” by Scissor Sisters on Voxola PR-76*
Better than “Freeze Frame” by the J. Geils Band.
Damn. Y’know, I’m years out of my fundie phase, but I still couldn’t say that so loudly without stuttering. lol
I don’t normally talk about how cute things are because, to me, cute gets overused but damn Joe and Joyce are being particularly cute at the moment
But you did
But you did
But you did
And, I thank you
RIP Dusty.
Dumbing of Age Book 10: SEX SEX SEXY COCKSUCKING SEXY SEX
11, but otherwise you stole my post
DOA 11: It’s Easier to Type On My Laptop.
Particularly if the phone keeps getting taken over by pop-up video ads.
I did not expect that out of Joyce, but here we are.
Also Amber’s message going on the background is a little sad. I feel the same way but I recognize that it is an issue.
Also why the hell did you two go to Amber for advice and then ignore her while she is talking?
Particularly when she’s talking about how to be happy.
Ooof. That hits kind of hard.
New Joyce Swears just dropped
Cocks are male birds, and yeah, their attitudes can be pretty sucky.
Joyce seems like the kind to love domestic animals of all kinds, including chickens.
I’m sure she’s just dying to play with a cock!
Are you implying that she might butcher her own poultry, choke-the-chicken, as it were?
Yes, male birds. But the erect penis twitches much like a bird walking, so the transfer of the concept.
When have you seen an erect penis WALKING?
Also, as the penis twitches, the eye flails all over the place above the fixed base. When a bird walks (I’m imagining pigeons here, predators don’t have a notably weird bird-walk) their eyes remain stationary until the head snaps forward to a new static position, all of which occurs above a moving base.
Personally, I kinda want Joyce’s first f-bomb to be directed at Carol.
That’d be real fucking satisfying.
Or Mary. Sure enough, Carol, but Mary is so much more convenient to the cause.
Y’all aren’t wrong. But there comes a point for some people, that it simply does not matter what you say to them. They simply don’t register the meaning of the words coming out of your mouth, and remain permanently fixated on an idea in their head. Verbal confrontations, while remaining necessary for the speaker to establish boundaries, are often less than satisfying because you know the recipient can’t actually hear you.
at least the cocksucking is sexy
If it isn’t, you must be doing something wrong.
“Hey, watch the teeth Babe!”
Little disappointed Cocksucking isn’t the title for the day’s strip.
Joe actually looks… disappointed? Dismayed? that she said it. Maybe it’s just shock.
To me it seems more like “you said it and now I’m thinking about it”.
Exaaaactly.
Yeah, I’d ignore the hell out of this too if I were Amber, but since I’m not, it’s super funny.
Amber needs to invest in a human repelling device and use it to druve these 2 into the hallway. There they can argue until they are blue in the face
Walky’s busy elsewhere.
No, Amber needs to invest in a fucking therapist and a giant bottle of gabapentin.
I’d be careful with that last one. Just because that stuff’s legal, that doesn’t mean it can’t fuck you up.
It’s a comic strip.
A comic strip where somebody almost died by taking antidepressants with alcohol.
Who cares less about other people’s drama, Amber or Sarah?
Amber, hands-down. How is this even a contest.
Amber should write a utility to automatically save the contents of Print Screen into a PNG file.
Fuck, fuck, fuck
Mother, motherfuck
Mother, motherfuck-fuck
Motherfuck, motherfuck
Noinch, noinch, noinch
I am glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read this.
C’mon. A “I CARE ABOUT YOU!”/“I CARE ABOUT YOU TOO!” exchange.
C’mon.
And soon, Amber will just watch their conversation devolve into “Now….Kiss”
Screenshots. One key on PC or hold two buttons on phone? PC, easy.
If you need to crop, then maybe phone has an advantage.
Print Screen leaves a bitmap on the clipboard though, you still have to open another application, paste, and save.
Snipping Tool is great, but you need to run it.
Macs had a three-key shortcut to instantly dump the whole screen to a MacPaint or PICT file thirty years ago! Come on, Microsoft, get it together!
This. So very, very, very much this.
I’m no apple fan-boy (penguin power), but props also to them for figuring out their core UI design 40 years ago and commiting to it.
Win+Shift+S to invoke Snipping Tool immediately.
Win+PrintScreen to save the entire screen to your user/pictures/screenshots folder.
This does require Windows 10.
In Firefox I just right click anywhere on the screen, choose Take Screenshot, click’n’drag to create the shot, then click either Copy or Download. Easy peasy.
I think Windows has it default set to put your screenshots up onto One Drive so if you haven’t turned that off then it is just the one button.
Yeah, but sometimes your phone can’t take screenshots of certain apps, so a computer is better unless you have to futz with the hardware acceleration settings so you can take a screenshot of Netflix.
Then you need a phone from somewhere else.
Is Amber deliberately ignoring the conversation behind her, or is she genuinely not noticing it?
I think that it is a case of her talking about her problems and everyone else ignoring her because their own problems are coincidentally reaching critical mass at the same time!
I thought at first Amber was just trying to answer their questions from yesterday’s strip and they’re ignoring her because they’re too busy arguing. But now I’m not so sure.
Joyce: Since when have *you* have character Development?!
Joe: Since when have you have *emotional* development?!
Amber: *Being a hard ass Mood.*
Joe and Joyce is a dynamic that never ceases to amuse me. It’s some of the best of this entire strip.
Fun Fact! My laptop keyboard has like…a handful of keys that just don’t work cuz I kept it in the bathroom when I showered. (Yeah I brought it in to play music. I didn’t know the steam would damage it!) so now I prefer using my phone to my laptop. Though my desktop is the best of both worlds.
On many models replacing a keyboard is actually remarkably straight forward. It may be worth checking your specs and the cost of a replacement.
If you head for your closest Goodwill or other thrift/resale shop, you can probably find a second-hand USB plug-in keyboard for around five bucks. Stick it into one of your laptop’s USB ports and you’re good to go.
Anyone else finding this kinda attractive or just me?
Attractive, kinda. Elated, definitely!
Yeah, I’m enjoying this. Joe and Joyce arguing like this has me shipping them even more than I already was. And I like that Amber just keep talking about her phone and laptop while that’s going on.
Oh, you’re by no means alone in that department.
AND THEN THEY ALL FU-MMPHG!
*stuffs Yelling Bird into canister, sticks in pneumatic tube labelled “Madagascar”*
I miss yelling-bird and sweet-tits. Was also really hoping pint-size would remain in his anthro body, but I understand that Jeph wants to go somewhere with that.
pintsize as winslow’s evil twin creeps me the fuck out.
Nope, definitely not just you
amber’s right though. it IS easier to type on the laptop. i hate typing on my phone so much. i wish phones these days still had actual buttons instead of a flat screen.
I feel like I need to draw Joyce giving doing a Slipshine now. Is that allowed? Will i get I’m trouble? What are the rules
Rule 1 is to proofread before hitting Post Comment jfc…
Rule 2 is to not talk about fight-club.
Rule 3 is to ignore Rule 4.
Never speak of Rule 5.
Oops.
Rule #6 is you must post it to Imgur and share the link in the comments.
[edit] that should be Rule #0.
Yotomoe does it. I don’t see why not!
PLEASE DO THIS.
Joyce makes an ironclad argument [NSFW]
Oh fuck. Ambers the right person to talk to about joyces problems.
Is this how we learn that the Whiteboard Ding-dong Bandit couldn’t easily get the whiteboards clean afterwards, and had to employ a little spit n’ polish? Did it awaken something?
Let’s read on!
If you accidently write on a whiteboard with a permanent marker, take an erasable marker and draw over it. Then you should be able to wipe both of them off.
There may be a bit of shadow left over.
Oh no. Not this again! XD
(The arc in question had this same suggestion among others in the comments roughly 15 zillion times per strip. AG just told Joyce there were dozens of ways to remove them.)
This works particularly well if you have dozens of erasable markers with which to mark over the permanent mark.
Acetone (fingernail polish remover) will also work.
Make sure it’s dry erase though, wet erase doesn’t do it the same.
I refuse to believe Amber wouldn’t be able to do a screencap on a laptop in less than a second
By taking a photo of it with her phone.
You know i have actually done that.
I was testing a software application that was generating an error. I needed to capture the error to log it, but whenever i tried the print screen button or the snipping tool the error popup would vanish. So, i took a quick picture of the screen with my phone.
She could do all that and more. Remember when she hijacked the printer in the computer class in like the third week of first semester?
PrintScr
Win+R
pbrush
Enter
Ctrl+V
Ctrl+S
Enter
That shouldn’t be too hard to macro.
You are correct. It /shouldn’t/ be. But in basic Windows it *is*.
She said only that it was ‘quicker’ on a phone. Not that it was impossible anywhere else.
Amber: “Are you both finished with your frankly baffling cross-talk? I’m finding it’s still draining my social spoons, just at half the rate.”
Joyce has the same energy as Season 4 Sypha here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn40jVORaG4
I’m only just picking that up too!
By the way, just where did you get that alluring avatar?
From here, I expect.
*drools from awesome aura of pure SAUCE*
Seriously, someone should make this an actual game!
Why isn’t Taco Bell on the roster?
Please be when Joe finally admits to caring for Joyce. I need to see Joe be cute ><
They’re gonna kiss, by Monday.
Don’t give me hope.
And bone by Thursday.
And Friday, they’re in love
Fuck that’s good
Satur-DAAAAAAY, wait
Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate
So, the opposite of what Amber is saying is to stop looking at the phone.
Poor Amber! I wonder how often she tries to express herself and explain her problems only to have an audience who are entirely focused on themselves?
Joe, meanwhile, is wondering if being aroused by Joyce when she’s in this mood is a good or a bad thing. Joyce, on the other hand, seems likely to kiss him out of a tension and annoyance overload!
Please forgive my aromantic ignorance, but do people really kiss “out of a tension and annoyance overload”? I’d assumed that was just something that happened in movies.
Then again, I never understood the appeal of squashing one’s lips against another person’s (and how do you even figure out whose nose goes where?), so maybe the concept’s perfectly reasonable somehow.
It only makes sense if there is underlying attraction that can be acted on. You will likely not kiss your absolute archenemy that you find repulsive as sin and have no physical or emotional attraction to.
But if someone is overloaded with emotion, acting on their attraction can be the emotional outlet they end up taking because emotions need to stop, releasing them must be done in any way possible ASAP.
Is joe actually aroused now?
I know he probably has a general attraction to joyce, but he seems to be more worried about joyce’s situation, and was taken aback by her swearing.
Amber turns around, sees them smooching and wonders
“How did that happen?”
…what the fuck, Amber.
Screencaps with your phone? With your PHONE?!
You’re a compsci student, you have to have the snip tool on your computer, or at least printscreen to shove into GIMP or some other freeware photoshop alternative! Only complete monsters take screencaps with their goddamn phones!
Are you…talking about taking a picture of the screen with your phone? Or? That’s the only way I could make sense of this anger, which is otherwise being directed at a very common practice.
Or, rather, do you think that’s what Amber is talking about doing.
I can only hope her math skills will compensate for such a lack of figuring out time saving shortcuts on her devices.
If not, oh well…..
Doesn’t she mean taking screenshots of what’s On the smartphone?
I have heard it said that phones (and other consumer electronics) have now been simplified and been made user-friendly enough that it can no longer be assumed that young people are more tech-savvy than their elders; both are equally confused and at a loss when something doesn’t “just work”.
They do, and it bugs the shit out of me because they’re dragging real computers down with them. “No, I don’t need error codes! Just throw a “oopsy there was a pwobwem, sowwy” message up on the screen, maybe add a frowny face too, why not!” Gah!
Amber’s right that smart devices can take screenshots almost instantly by holding a couple physical buttons; I haven’t seen them get taken that fast since the pre-OS X Mac days (when Command-Shift-3 dumped the screen to an image file, complete with digitized camera shutter sound). Even Snipping Tool isn’t that fast (but it’s still a vast improvement over the old way).
Fluffy yet entirely useless error messages are a huge pet peeve of mine too, speaking as a geek who grew up in the 80’s and 90’s. “Oops, something went wrong!” Yeah, I KNOW something went wrong. What I NEED is more information about WHAT went wrong so I can solve it!
Very much this, I come from a generation where personal computers were only starting to get popular in my country and we had to do a lot of own learning and work,. Reinstalling the operating system, fixing problems etc. etc. Nowadays the computers are reliable enough that your average user doesn’t really have to know much to operate one.
Joyce is so rude with poor Joe. She should know that he’s totally obsessed by family. Her bad humour is making her really angry and susceptible. Poor Joe, he looks so sad hearing Joyce say such words… Also, I admire Amber’s capacity to ignore their quarrel.
But he’s cursed to only ever be the thing he was before, or so he’s told.
Tall Rachel is one of the worst.
she’d hate that i was shocked she knows what oral sex is for just a second
She’s done it plenty in the time skip. Virtually, of course, under the protective shield of the RP Asterisk.
That’s five bucks you owe her, Joe.
Ow year, you remembered that.
Free writing prompt: Joyce and Joe slow burn romance set in a Wild West frontier AU that also happens to include a Stable Time Loop.
Is… is that a non-collapsing time loop, .. or a time-loop set in a stable with horses?
It’s both and neither.
For all the folk upset that Amber is taking screencaps with her phone instead of PrintScr, I would like to point out that this in line with Garbage Roof mentality. Besides, if you want to put a laptop screencap on your phone, taking the picture with your phone is the quickest method. Plus it trolls all the internet types that would get upset.
Future Adeptus Mechanicus recruits are protesting against sacrilege.
I just… You press the power button and the volume down button at the same time. That captures your phone’s screen. Why do people think she’s talking about photographing her laptop screen?
My girl Ambs out here dropping knowledge while these chumps just yell over each other about the things they DEFINITELY would NEVER WANT TO DO TO EACH OTHER, especially BLOWJOBS, Joyce, Joe has NEVER imagined you giving one
And Joyce has certainly never wondered just what Joe looks like doenstairs, nope, no way, no how, not ever, certainly not after her ascension as the Ding Dong White Board Bandit, and DEFINITELY not after getting a faceful of Joe-in-boxers earlier today.
Amber “WILL YOU TWO SMOOCH IT YOU ALREADY”
*Joyce and Joe suddenly start making out*
*Amber takes screencap on phone, then on laptop*
Amber: See, quicker.
Then she turns to them like “So, what was it you needed, again?”
I think Amber would be THE HAPPIEST with some noise-cancelling headphones right about now
Congratulations on graduating from age 8 maturity to age 10 maturity, Joyce.
Reading the strip early this morning before getting out of bed. Laughed out loud at Joyce. The Mrs asked me what was so funny, so I showed her.
Didnt find it humorous one bit.
DoA – obviously for discriminating readers.
I mean this particular joke doesn’t really land properly if you’re not a regular reader— it’s only shocking if you know what Joyce is generally like. That’s less a criticism and more a natural consequence of this being a serialized dramedy that’s been running for a decade.
Joyce’s glasses are really going to her head.
this is the worst setup for step-sibling porn I’ve ever seen
Worst or best?
My new favorite side game in the comic is pretending certain dialogue bits are going to be very inappropriate titles for the current chapter/book. Guess which one I picked today.
Maybe for the Slipshine printed edition
Hmmm…. appetizers….. I wonder what delicious creation awaits us in the near future….
Honestly, half of them make a good punchline for the game, so there’s hardly a wrong answer.
Joyce said cocksucking.
Like an adult.
One word down, six to go!
Are there only seven deadly swears?
Thirteen if you’re a sailor!
Yep the whole trio here is looking particularly stupid and maybe demented this time around.
Kinda weird how people can go from complete smartass to braindead within the same person, and within a short timespan, then just ramp back up to normal.
There should be a character tag for all of those words Joyce just used.
I’m just over here actively cackling over how this has all played out.
Amber is channeling me so hard right now
Oh shi-, Joyce did it. She said sex. And cocksucking.
I think we’ve made a breakthrough.
Definitely projecting my own experiences, but for this whole Joe/Joyce interaction I’ve been really relating to Joe here. And that is a weird place to be, given….you know, Joe.
I can just see it in his head: that thing where there’s this person you care about, and you know rationally that your ideological differences & sexual preferences would probably not mesh well, but a part of you is still interested, despite yourself, because of the slight chance it might be kinky and glorious….
I guess key here is that you can still respect someone while feeling this weird kinda way about them. And you can still respect them while wishing they hadn’t said “cocksucking” because now you DEFINITELY have that image in your head