David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 13h
The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 13d
Vangelus @vangelus.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
FactPost @factpostnews.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Frances “Poet Laureate of the Robot Alliance” Klein @fklein907.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Fritschner @fritschner.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Josh Johnson @joshjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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| TEAM FOSSILS
Rainbow Friends
Dr. Frizzle
OH SHIT IS THAT HIM WHERE’S A GLASS
*creepy vibes*
It is not! just look at the tags! It clearly states “completely harmless stranger”
That’s just what the tag WANTS you to think…
If you rearrange the letters it spells out
cometh smelly stranglers rape
*facepalm*
I can’t decide if this is the best, or worst thing I’ve seen on here. But I congradulate you, good sir, thanks to you, this soldier keeps his sanity one more day
Wow.. Ingenious.. I shall now forever worship you!
until you say something stupid
It isn’t that she’s no longer trusting, she just knows gingers have no souls.
Is that so?
cartman does it better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7vGRqpPwNg&feature=related
Gingers do have a soul, they just don’t want anyone to know is all.
Andy Dalton of the Cincinnati Bengals might be that exception, lol
Alex Clare definitely has a lot of soul for a ginger.
It just doesn’t happen to originally be their own.
Hey I’m ginger and I can say…. nope! You’re pretty much right.
hey now, watch that …
“watch that prejudice”, rather. so THAT’s how that html tag works. >_>
Win!
Hey man you’re not allowed to use words with two “g”s, an “i”, an “r”, an “e” and an “n” unless they apply to you.
Thank you. I never noticed that until now, and now it’s going to be stuck in my head until the day after I die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw
I was like, “is it? IS IT? IT IS! :D” and the grin was in quotation marks as well.
I have a soul… I just don’t know where I placed it last.
That random bystander looks familiar.
Wally West, perhaps?
Wally has blue eyes, right?
…….SHIT
No, his eyes are green. Barry has blue eyes.
Wallace West has green eyes, Walter West has blue eyes.
Which one is it then?
Wallace is the “normal” Wally, so I’d say him.
Just ask Willis’s wife. She is a Wally Encyclopedia.
So am I
I’ve been a fan of Mr. West since I was about seven.
Good ol’ PTSD… making us wary of the guy in the elevator. We’ve all been there, Joyce.
He’s got the Crazy Eyes!!
Who is that man?
He’s the Completely Harmless Stranger! Didn’t you read the comic tags? I kinda hope he becomes a recurring character, though. For no good reason.
I posted the comment before the the addition to the tag.
That tag is totally the punchline.
Yes, Joyce. Come to the Dark Side. Let the fear, anger and hate flow through you. Come take your place at my side, and we shall rule the galaxy!
I have a better idea, how about she just defenstrate you and rule the galaxy.
I don’t like that idea at all!
But that is how you become a Sith master.
I just realized that there really are quite a few windows handy in the star wars universe, even in places you wouldn’t really expect them.
Of course some of them open onto empty space and the act of defenestration would kill everyone involved, but really, it would probably be worth it.
Mace Windu even got psuedo-defenestrated.
You conscience won’t let you. Welcome to the real world, we’ve been waiting for you.
If he is not important enough to have a tag, than he isn’t anyone to worry about.
Unless Willis goes back and tags him after he becomes important. He’s been known to switch tags on us before.
If I recall correctly, Ryan was originally untagged, and was then tagged retroactively once he became important. So that doesn’t really help all that much, methinks.
Ryan wasn’t tagged? But even “Sierra” was tagged…
Uh-huh, like that never happen before. *cough*Ryan*cough*
Unless, of course, Willis is going to go back and add the tag later once he’s become important, as he has done on a couple of occasions.
Aaand he now has a tag.
Bait-and-switch tagging. Definitely.
Of course.
Completely nameless stranger needs to be around more.
Blondie?
An opportunity for another edit!
(I didn’t mean Joyce’s discomfort in the edit to be interpreted differently, so assume the same reasons as the original panel. Although she may just be uncomfortable around freckled people in the original panel.)
Ah Crap! I forgot about Ryan’s untagged past.
Now I am sad
Yeah. Poor Joyce.
I shall dub thee Tim, the Enchanter.
Is he going to warn Joyce about the killer rabbit?
Or Tim, the completely nameless stranger.
so no killer rabbit?
Maybe, maybe not. With Willis, you can never tell.
There’s only ONE Tim around here
So are you going to warn us about the rabbit? Because someone has to!!
There’s only one Snake and one Big Boss.
Now, he’s Tim the completely harmless stranger. Make up your mind, Tim.
But then there’s Mid-Boss, dood.
Seriously is no one going to address the killer rabbit problem!
Also Joyce’s face in panel 4 makes me sad it sad that one @$$ can ruin a sweet girl’s perception of the entire male gender.
He’s got huge, sharp… er… He can leap about! Look at the bones!
Consider yourself warned.
“Oh no. This is the first person I’ve been around today that is a head taller than me. Noooo!”
I think you guys are misinterpreting this, shes not upset, their is just some really interesting thing on the wall that they are staring at and its just not christian enough for joyce to be comfortable with it.
Actually she’s looking at the ceiling – she’s *definitely* looking above the guys head and not at him. Maybe there’s a spider there. A big creepy spider.
A big, creepy, agnostic spider.
“agnostic spider” is the name of my new hipster band.
“No, it’s not a spider. It’s like a… blue thing.”
Ah. “Blue Thing” is the name of MY new hipster band.
*nyah*
I didn’t find this comic funny (because I suppose it’s not really supposed to be funny) but I thought that the comment drama leading up to that guy getting a tag was HILARIOUS.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Willis’ webcomics. Be sure to take a number, as this will help us service you more quickly!
Sometimes the best comedy is intentionally not funny. This is a good example, putting the punch in punchline where laughter won’t reach it.
That awkward moment when the girl in the elevator with you thinks you’re going to rape her.
Is that the moment before you do, or the moment before she does?
Neither. It’s that moment when you realize that someone who doesn’t even know you thinks that you’re a dangerous animal because of your gender or race.
I hate elevators.
Or weight.
eh, in all seriousness, I occasionally get this.
I’m a guy, and a rather BIG guy. both directions. Occasionally, when I’m walking along, minding my own business, myself and a woman happen to be following the same route, so it looks like I’m following her. Every once in a while, she’ll glance back and see me follow her. This happens a couple times. After the second or third time she’ll pick up the pace and head towards a restroom or something.
Frustrating and annoying (occasionally annoyingly amusing in a very dry sort of way).
As a 5’0″ woman, I understand those defensive women. The violence in our culture sucks for everyone, doesn’t it?
I wouldn’t know myself, I suspect that my white cane lowers my threatening status but I cannot see well enough to tell if that is true or not.
Well played, Plasma.
Who’s playing, I’m legally-blind IRL, I’m just lucky that I’m not blind-blind.
It’s not so much of thinking it’s going to happen as being plagued by a constant what-if. “Crap, I just entered an enclosed space with someone who is bigger than me who can likely overpower me, I doubt he’s going to try to pull anything but oh gosh what happens if he does” is not really the same as “Crap, I think he’s going to try to pull something”.
Yeah, it’s a nearly-constant low-level anxiety, when you’re pretty much always the most physically vulnerable person around.
I myself have always been weary of the red-haired. Mark of Cain indeed.
FEAR HIM WELL JOYCE.
The mark of Cain is invalid at this point. Once the flood wiped everything out, all that was left was Noah, his wife, 3 sons and their wives. Everything started from scratch
I raise your well thought-out logic with my blind enthusiasm for assumption!
Actually there were all the sons’ wives too, so there were five distinct sources of genetic material (though admittedly Noah and Mrs. Noah would end up in all the resulting lines). In theory you could get some evil ginger Cain-blood in from the side. (There’s not a change in Tartarus that you’d end up with enough genetic variation to produce the variance seen today in the time between now and whenever ‘then’ was supposed to be, but we mustn’t let ourselves get bogged down in the details.)
Oh, on reread I see you already mentioned the wives. Well regardless, “from scratch” isn’t quite right. Maybe they were all from scratch.
In my personal headcanon the entire lot of them were gingers. And soulless. And variation from those two states would be the result of the godless abomination called mutation.
There were no other fishermen who got into their boats when it started raining? Though I guess having enough fresh water for 40 days and nights might be a problem
Less of a problem than repopulating the planet in a few thousand years from a starting population of eight people (who don’t wait all that long before they start killing each other again), but regardless, the story is that it’s just them.
And if you think that’s unrealistic, try managing a floating overcrowded zoo with only eight people. That’s a lot of crap to shovel…
On the plus side, there was lots of dinosaur flesh to eat on the trip.
And unicorns, dodos, dragons…
Mark of Thor and/or Odin actually.
I need to check Genesis again to see if they said anything about Cain’s kids passing the same mark their psychopath dad got on to their descendants…
Always interpreted the Mark being of a lateral meaning, visible in the tell-tale signs of someone’s homicidal maniac-assed nature, rather than any physical features.
Actually the mark was for his defense – a “Do Not Kill This Person” sign that god put on him. (Which god put on him because he whined too much about everybody wanting to murder him.) Apparently everyone knew on sight what this ‘mark’ meant too. Maybe it was literal text on his forehead or something.
I’m fairly certain that there’s no biblical reason to think this mark was passed on to his descendants.
Because there are references to the great flood in almost every relegion and Epic poetry arc (esp.: Gilgamesh), I feel there must have been more than a few other survivors. I figure at least a few carried Cain Nasty little mark.
Well of course some did.
There’s a redhead RIGHT THERE.
Watch – this guy has at least twenty Psalms memorized, knows all the handy acronyms for naming the books of the Bible in order, can give you a list of his favorite Minor Prophets, and doesn’t have any plans on raping Joyce tonight.
Buuut nope, he’s tall and ginger, and therefore not to be trusted.
Waugh, my gravatar changed again! To a… really ironic one :[
or maybe he’s a Communist.
Communism? Who believes in that anymore, not even China practices economic communism anymore.
having trollingly formed an ‘anti-communist group’ on steam (really, I just felt like throwing logic and history at the buggers), I can tell you that a surprising number of people do, though they are generally not very informed. Funny ending to that story though…. eventually the group membership became 80% members with communist clan-tags.
Cuba
You wouldn’t exactly use Cuba as a shining example of the communismdream now, would you?
I’d like to point out that no country has ever practiced communism. Countries have practiced socialism, but that’s hardly the same thing. Also the Bolsheviks were terrible.
I hear that Israel has practiced true communism at the community level, though obviously not at the state level.
The system apparently holds together due to the ability of public shame to enforce desired/necessary behavior, within small communities.
If you are referring to kibbutz then IIRC, they ended up proving that even under ideal situations, pure socialism doesn’t work for very long.
Can’t practice something that can’t hold true when it has to deal with the [i]real/i] human race’s failure to be as they are portrayed in Star Trek.
Just because a [i]true[/i] Scotsman wouldn’t be caught dead failing to leave a big tip for the waiter doesn’t mean restaurant patrons from Scotland tip any better than those who reject such ideology.
Sucks to see what this world can do to people.
You think that’s bad; she probably won’t even be a hardcore fundamentalist by the time the semester ends. The world is truly a scary and corruptive place.
I see feminism in Joyces future.
I just realized that comment along with my gravitate makes me seem very pessimistic. In reality I’m pretty optimistic.
Forget pessimistic, your Gravatar makes you look like you hate the world and want to kill it, starting with the person reading the comment.
Soon, Willis will just preemptively tag every living being in the strip, in order to curtail mad commentor theories. That’s when we start speculating on the motives and identities of inanimate objects.
Speaking of which, that elevator seems kinda… suspicious.
It’s not the guy who’s creeping her out. It’s his backpack.
You may be on to something. There’s gotta be a reason she’s avoiding eye contact with it.
I’m telling you, the thing’s possessed.
No need to fear, though. Stoolie the Wonder-Stool will turn up to save the day.
Stoolie had his day. These days he’s living large with the Sock twins. Lucky guy.
Now we have to rely on his former sidekick, Rugby.
I want to cry for her.
Sarah said it would be really sad when the world breaks Joyce. That day has come. T__T
KILL HIM.
While I’ve never been the biggest DoA Joyce Fan, my heart really goes out to her on this. She needs to see a therapist or something, if she has any hope of really coming to grips with what happened. I’m mean right now, it’s pretty obvious she’s still in denial.
That is my favourite tag now.
I don’t trust that guy. He obviously broke through the fourth wall and put that tag there just to fool us.
I never fail to marvel at the comments Willis manages to elicit with his crew.
I predict someone putting him on a ship – with someone else.
Next time, “hanging out” should translate to “ju jitsu lessons” instead of “shark hunting at the local sand bar.”
Krav Maga would be better.
You know, Joyce was actually able to defend her self reasonably well, all things considered, and it’s not like martial arts are going to protect you from roofies. I’m not sure self-defense classes would give a particularly big boost to her confidence.
I meant for the creepy guys in elevators.
Waitaminute. It just hit me. Their dorm has an elevator. I had to trek up and down four flights of stairs several times a day, and they get an elevator? I got to haul all of my boxes, my TV, all that stuff up four flights of stairs moving in and they get a damned elevator? I got screwed. Healthy, but screwed.
My dorm has an elevator and 4 floors. I don’t use it, though, since I live on the second floor. Also, seriously, it took you THIS long to realize they had an elevator? Where did you think her talk with Ethan happened?
Does this mean Joyce is lesbian now?
If the “completely harmless stranger” made contact with the established characters, and thus was no longer a stranger, would the tag be changed? Furthermore, would it be “completely harmless [insert hypothetical character name here]” or just “[insert hypothetical character name here]”? Beyond that, if he were later proven to be harmful in some way, would the tag then be changed again?
…my brain hurts.
It’s his actual name. Mr. and Mrs. Stranger were kind of weird.
I realize I’m begging for favors from the wrong creator, but Willis, make this canon. Please.
Hmmmm.
Joyce distrusts all men.
Joyce enjoys the company of females.
Readership goes up 500%
She seems to trust Walky just fine.
Walky counts as a “man” now?
He’s a man-child, that half-counts!
I think the phrase “Completely Harmless Stranger” would work out really well on a t-shirt.
I can imagine that shirt being popular with perverts and stalkers.
I would buy that shirt.
WHAT JOYCE IS THINKING…
I hate to say it but I think that hits the nail right on the head… for now.
Want a +1 button!
This page really hits home. My daughter was attacked in her dorm room by an armed asshole who tried to steal her computer. She stood up to him and got pistol-whipped for it. The trauma left her with PTSD, and her friendly outgoing nature, though it’s mostly returned, evaporates when she’s faced with a stranger. Today, she freaked out when a window salesman came to the door. She had to quit school – can’t sit in a lecture hall without worring about all the people. She’s trying an online school for now…
Dave, I hope you read this. And I hope you treat this right… not just for a laugh. Keep in mind all the women attacked at all the schools every year…
And thanks.
Oh God, poor girl. My heart goes out to her, and you too.
Poor girl indeed, though I am glad pistol-whipped and PTSD was all that happened to her. Innocence + college all too often = rape.
He has the same trio of freckles as Ruth. A relative, perhaps?
(trio on each cheek for a total of six freckles, that is).
He’s Somewhat-Manly-Howard.
“Completely Harmless Stranger” sounds like a very risky name to have.
Person1 : What is your name?
Person2 : I am Completely Harmless Stranger
Person1 : Yeah that is fine, What is your name?
Person2 : I just told you!
*Shotgun goes off*
His friends just call him C.H.
Charles Hansen? Chuck Horvitz? Charlie Hart?
Chocolate Harry?
On the other hand, when he finishes med school, he’ll be Doctor Stranger. He’s like a comic book character, except slightly better.
EEEEEEEEK!!! I’M DINA! THE WORLD IS ENDING AND I AM DINA!
That just breaks my heart.
She should be fine, as long as he doesn’t offer her a drink. Joyce should start carrying a flask.
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
I initially thought about saying ‘He already carries a flask full of polyjuice potion’, but I didn’t think anyone would appreciate the vague joke or Harry Potter reference. Clearly I was wrong.
Completely harmless, huh? That officially makes him the far too sensible and kind for this comic strip. Sadly he will not be recurring.
This might be the first time I’ve seen the punchline be in the tags to the comic (or maybe just the first time I’ve noticed). Well done.
Poor Joyce…
I totally wanna see the next few strips as an Evangelion homage (four awkward, dialogue-free panels in the elevator).
You know what else is awkward? Being the third person to enter the elevator and realizing the awkward thoughts the other two are already thinking.
It will end with Joyce trying to slap him in the face for no apparent reason, because when he talks, he speaks in a creepy monotone.
Joyce x Harmless Stranger ship launched!
And so it begins…
Less of a ship and more of a raft.
That ship probably is not only on fire, but left port with a huge hole in it.
And yet, it is perhaps the most durable ship on the sea.
He’s not really harmless to her, rather he is Completely Harmless Stranger. That’s his name.
A distant relative of The Most Interesting Man In The World.
Ginger? Freckles? Smiling green eyes? Well I do believe this fellow is the Token Irishman. Don’t worry, you can trust him, he’s got a heart o’ gold and a thousand-yard stride.
I’m still waiting for Joyce to continue pursuit of Ethan.
…if it ever happens.
No, don’t make your sad face, Joyce! It will make me make MY sad face.
Oh wow, I just got the double meaning in the title. Not only is it part of what Joyce said, but also means that her being okay is the FURTHEST thing from the truth.
She’s also the furthest she can get from C.H. in the elevator (without actually trying to merge with the wall).
Oh, this strip breaks my fucking heart. There’s nothing worse than the moment you realize you’ve learned to be afraid of men…
Its one of those times where as a guy I realize how much I suck.
Completely Harmless Stranger was named after his father. He prefers to go by C.H.S.
1) Terrified of anyone who even vaguely looks like your assailant? Check.