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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 1d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
The New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
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Now imagine doing this as a model in a life drawing class (with or without clothes on)… for TWO MINUTES
/has in fact done that (with clothes on)
Oof.
I would never be able to model for a class; my body spasms frequently due to medical stuff, so I would never be able to sit perfectly still. Also I’m not exactly in shape so I wouldn’t be comfortable to model anyway.
Oh I loved drawing curvy people, and I preferred older models. Our live model classes had nude people and drawing an 18 year old just felt so awkward. You is bby why you here
My art school had students sign up to model for the evening life drawing sessions, and the rate was about double the minimum wage. So it was not uncommon to see some of our peers naked on a regular basis
I modeled for a life drawing class, nude, once. I have fibromyalgia and I lose circulation so my limbs go numbs incredibly easily. It was not a pleasant experience. It was grueling
I played a scarecrow in a play. First rehearsal we immediately figured out that having me hold my arms straight out for 7 minutes was not going to happen. There was a yardstick in the back of my shirt the next day.
Nothing like a little crucifixion for the sake of art.
I’ve done maybe 3 minutes as part of a workout video, and it was HARD. Thinking that you could do 7 minutes without any training is insane.
I was young, and in shape, and made it about a minute before it was clear that this was not tenable. As said, it was fixed before next rehearsal. We’d wanted a fast, easy transition from “on the pole” to “free movement”, and no one had actually tried doing it before me.
And then everyone thought I was just weak, tried it themselves, and gave up just as fast. It was hilarious watching our resident football player start gasping at it.
“But Scarecrow moves around, he’s part of the whole journey to–they did not specify Oz.”
I did nude modelling for photography because I only had to hide my junk from a particular observation point, and I only had to hold the poses for at most 30 seconds. With my injuries prolonged standing poses were right out.
Been there Joyce.
I sympathize, I am pathetically weak.
I sympathize, I have can have an incredably short attention span.
Turns out exercise is just repetitive and tiring physical activity. Who knew?
It does not HAVE to be repetitive, though it often is indeed.
Joyce is going to be in trouble if her metabolism ever slows down. A 2 liter lemon-lime soda every day? That alone is enough to cause you to gain weight.
I suppose she could switch to diet but there is a bunch of other health issues involved with that choice. But I don’t have the stamina nor attention span to talk about it.
Fair enough, and yeah I did that soda for a few years and it was a poor choice. I went back to regular soda, but I now mostly drink water and only drink soda with my medication or if I am at a restaurant/fast food joint.
Much as I hate to make a plug for the place, but Mall-Wart has their own label of flavored fizzy water called ‘Clear American’. No calories, no sugars, no sodium, and the flavors are (in my opinion) much stronger than Buble or La Croix or any of the other name-brand ones. Comes in either 12-packs of 12-oz cans or 1-liter bottles, and if you go the bottle route there are far more flavors to choose from than the cans … but then you’re creating a problem due to the single-use plastic bottles which, no matter how diligent you are about putting them in recycle bins or containers, may still end up being burned in a refuse-to-energy program or landfilled anyway.
Michael Buble is hawking his own brand of seltzer?
Sellout. It used to be about the music, man!
While Michael Buble is an advertising spokesman for it, Bubly Sparkling Water is a PepsiCo brand, not his own.
Okay, this is why I like this space.
I was going for the cheaplaff and had no idea Michael Buble was advertising Bubly!
I think all the stores have captive brands of flavored fizzy water.
Or, y’know, 2l of tap water and a tot of lemon juice might work too, Joyce.
In Finland, we have these fizzy little tabs you can add to water that add carbonation and some flavor, and often vitamins too. I don’t believe they have any sugar, though.
We had those in US back in the 60s-70s. They were terrible then and would likely be unimaginably awful now. I hope yours are better.
We have the them in Australia and it’s the best way to get myself to drink water and the only way for me take my vitamins. They’re also a great alternative to sports drinks.
I mean, the diabetes will probably hit her before the weight does.
It’s actually a myth that sugar causes diabetes. Diabetes is something you already have, or something that develops independent of diet. A diet high in sugar can cause you to /notice/ it sooner, but you can’t cause it no matter how much sugar you consume.
Do you have a source for that that isn’t funded by the sugar industry?
Joyce Has Neither the Stamina Nor the Attention Span For This: A Dumbing of Age Pornographique
Lets hope they at least get the gym to themselves.
“Congratulations Sailor, you made it to Black Friday!”
The funny of all is that Mr. Crabby is the perfect character for a Black Friday
Someone’s been skipping leg days…
Oof yeah, his biceps look bigger than his thighs
joyce did mention bike riding before, maybe they could go on a two person bicycle lol
I’ll loan ’em mine.
I concur. Working out sucks. That’s why I just go for walks. Much easier.
I need to find a way to watch a show or youtuber while I walk on the treadmill. Then at least I won’t be bored.
Hard to give specific suggestions without knowing your workout space, but it’s not that difficult to set-up a laptop or tablet in front of the treadmill.
The visual component is difficult, since holding your head steady is just … less-than-great walking form. But audially, I’d suggest getting wireless headphones of some kind. I have a Shokz OpenRun for listening to stuff while I walk and it’s the favoritest thing I bought this year. Designed to handle “oh no I’m sweating” levels, but not to handle “oh no I’m swimming” levels of moisture.
If it’s facing a wall, you can wall-mount a TV. Some treadmills have a little shelf or ledge on the control panel that can hold a tablet, too.
That is what I did, put a shelf on the wall in front of the treadmill and placed a 41 inch tv and Wi-Fi equipped DVD player, and use that to watch Netflix. I just walk on the treadmill, I don’t think it would work with running, too much head bounce. I tried to watch videos on a tablet while treadmilling, but it wasn’t too successful, works well with an exercise bike however.
My oldest brother used to dribble a soccerball when he went on runs. Dude’s a freak.
… why a soccer ball specifically?
I would guess he was soccer dribbling.
When I went to the gym the treadmills had screens in them and a usb port, so I’d just load up a whole movie to walk/jog to.
being active in small ways is fine but i’d def rather ‘workout’ than go to a church lol
Hear, hear! Or yard-work. Wearing out machines is boring.
Worth mentioning that warming up should be active stretching and not this style of stretching. Granted, any stretchong is better than nothing, but still
This person fitnesses.
The last “active stretching” I tried was jogging across the field to where the five-a-side football was being held. Halfway across: eeeeeYEEOOWWW as I pulled my right hamstring, followed right away by a GYYAARRRRHHHH when I came down on the other leg and pulled my left groin.
My physio LOVED that story, and had me tell it at least three times while she tried not to giggle. Sort of tried not to giggle. Well, sort of tried not to giggle too much.
I’m with Yoto, working out sucks.
(… nah, that last bit’s a lie. walking’s out for me ‘cos my big toe joints are failing, but living handy to a shared walking/biking riverside track through replanted native bush was awesome. jump on the bike, peel out 7km to the edge of the city, then turn back and collapse on the lawn at home when done. and, jump into the river on a hot day and do the rest of the ride soaking wet with deliciously chill river water, couldn’t be beat.)
i’m assuming joe is starting her off with the basics
Maybe this is the pre-warmup warmup.
I was gonna say the same thing, re active vs passive stretching then wondered if maybe Joe knew more thane,.then realised that Joe isn’t real, then had a.small existential crisis.
Darn know-it-all figments of Willis.
More people get injured stretching than exercising.
*cues up “Defying Gravity” on the hacked Muzak*
YES <3 ^_^
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEq3xM-i0Ng
anyone else stretch like them for 10 seconds after reading? did you forget to breath too?
I did! I’m tiny-skinny-armed, and pregnant, but it wasn’t difficult at all. I did remember to breathe.
At about 30sec my arms start to fall asleep a lil, but I’m not sure why Joyce’s muscles are shaking with effort at 5sec. Maybe she’s tensing up super hard (which isn’t how to stretch), and/or maybe this is just another way that pregnancy is weird?
She’s excited, a little nervous, and just picked up 150-ish pounds of Sarah a few moments ago.
Damn it, Autonoetic consciousness…
|o| It’s only ten Mississippis, just the right amount of time to nab all the sides you wanna eat.
The struggle of noodle arms, post-Sarah bodylock, is real
My kid used to count seconds between lightning and thunderclaps as “one Ms. Piggy, two Ms. Piggy….”
She also asked “Why do squirrels only stick to trees?”
I need to do my stretches more often before work, given I have a fairly physical job. It’s easy to neglect sometimes, but it will bite you eventually.
Palm’s are sweaty?
Mom’s spaghetti,
Vomit on Joyce’ sweater vest already
People of the comment section, lend Joyce your stamina!
Can’t hear you. I already lent this fellow my ears.
I so need to upvote this!
If Joyce can’t handle stretching upwards, she DEFINITELY isn’t going to do a pelvic curl, or a spine twist supine, or a one leg circle. She’s going to wash her hands of this whole exercise thing.
Until she learns that these can help her ride Joe’s bus as the wheels go round and round.
…. okay, now I can’t tell whether that’s just a euphemism, or if I should be looking for a stealth pun in response to my own.
… more of a visual thing, really
–Dave, if Joe’s bus’ wheels are going round and round something has gone wrong. I’d say the wheels have come off but as a fellow guy YIKES
ps: for a guy those/them are always one layer of the subtext
I’m not quite sure how to read it when you especially sign each of your comments.
–Leorale, did I do it right
it used to be an internym, three decades ago
–Dave, but over the years, the “DeLaney” sort of withered away. once it escaped from the culture which formed it on a.f.u., and now it’s entirely a postnym
pps: Except when they’re just plain text.
For a second I thought Joyce discovered she had an armpit fetish.
For my lack-of-attention-span, I make it a point to count out loud if I can. Better yet if I do it in a non-primary language. It’s something mildly interesting to hyperfocus on, plus I’m keeping myself from going 100% rusty on that language. (I can never remember all the numbers for French. It’s also fun to switch between Cantonese and Mandarin.)
Side-by-side like this shows either how tall Joe is, or just how short – sorry, how ‘fun-sized’ Joyce is.
Has it ever been canonically specified just how tall our characters are, or times where they have been drawn close enough to something of known height so that we can make an accurate assessment?
Heights have been given for various characters over the years, but I don’t think the art style is really technically accurate about the relative sizes. IIRC, Sal and Walky are 5’7″. Joyce is a little bit shorter, I think, maybe 5’6″ or so. Amber’s like 5’3″ maybe with her Amazi-Girl boots on. Joe is big. Galasso is frickin’ ginormous.
Joyce is 5’4″, perfectly average. Walky is 5’7″. the other characters’ heights are basically consistent but more “relative to each other” than solidified numbers.
As we can see here, Joe is built like a silverback gorilla.
The secret is to do this while standing on your tip toes. The strain on your toes will cancel out any discomfort elesewhere.
Found the ballet dancer.
Not guilty, yer honor.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint!
Which is good ’cause you can’t pull off either.
Depends on the length of the sprint.
I’d argue that if you can’t pull it off, a sprint is better, as it is over sooner…
Ah, my mortal enemy.
The Pre-Stretch.
Aaagh Joyce is cute around joe
maybe you need aclock to stare at~
This whole plan has been the epitome of “someone did not think this through”.
book title!
–Dave, and/or alternative strip title!
at least you have some muscles to stare at, joyce ;P or i guess they could play some music lol
Question for those who lift: stretch or no stretch before lifting?
I personally don’t stretch but I do 5 warm up sets before my working sets so I feel good to go
I tend to do light strength exercises, but from what I understand active stretching is what’s important BEFORE exercise, so doing light weights probably at least partially counts.
Yeah it’s funny because it was always drummed into me that you must stretch, that if you do basically anything physical without stretching you’ll damage yourself, that you must warm up in a specific way etc etc
Well I train in my garage so the metal garage door makes the garage very warm so I don’t feel the need to do any cardio to warm up as I’m already warm and if 20 light reps of the specific exercise isn’t enough to prep you for the work set…
Or it could be that I’m quite lazy and I don’t want to bugger about with doing cardio
I do a few minutes of running or elliptical before weights, and stretching after. Warmup sets or light exercises would be good too.
Oh my god, there’s a lot of Joe.
You don’t realise until you see the full wingspan, but oh god there’s a lot of him.
Yeah there is.
DAMN Joe you have Monkey Master/i> arms
–Dave, … i’ll be in mah hammock
i wonder if there’s any way for Willis to correct that malformed tag
Joyce, stamina? You were able to take down Toedad, I’m sure you can hold arms for 10 seconds…
Adrenaline.
The struggle of ADHD and sports. Some excercises are just too boring to keep doing…
Pro tip, it feels shorter if you’re the one doing the counting, as compared to waiting for someone to say stop.
Yes, especially because i can count to 30 way faster than any sports instructor i’ve ever had!
Used to do arm raises not unlike this for marching band practice, though ours were straight to the side then raised 10 degrees. Adding forwards and backwards rotations after holding that pose for a minute was the worst.
Now everyone, just admit you tried to see if you could best her and do a full ten seconds.
Feels good to feel more athletic than someone, anyone, even a cartoon character.
These are part of my art stretches lol
Weird. I can understand that Joe wants to be safe Joyce will not hurt herself, but pre workout stretching is pretty much useless if you’re not doing some sports. I can’t remember to see a bodybuilders doing it.
My trainer butt is just being like “no static stretches aren’t good for pre-workout and should only be for post workout stretches or during the normal day