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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 13h
The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 9d
The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social ⋅ 13d
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| TEAM FOSSILS
Rainbow Friends
Dr. Frizzle
Mary is gonna pitch a fit!
“See? SEE? First she hangs out with Christians of a slightly different denomination! And then the atheists! And then she has GAY JEW ORGIES! Evil always looks so cool!”
JUst where will it end? *GASPS*
Usually when you start with the gay jew orgies, you’ve pretty much hit the end of it.
What, no virgin sacrifices?
…if you’ve reached “gay jew orgies” the odds are that you don’t have any virgins left.
I tried to picture a gay Jew orgy but they kept stopping to kvetch about their bodies.
oy vey?
Those meshuggah faygalas aren’t shtuping because they’re too busy kvetching about their schvitzing tukhases. Oy-oy-oy!
Only if some of them haven’t been to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror.
I think that was what the druids did.
Gay satanist orgies?
Nah, Satanists have nuthin’ on Ethan.
With furries. Gay Jewish Atheist Furry Orgies. While cosplaying Final Fantasy characters.
You just know it’s on the internet somewhere
It is now.
“Somewhere?”
Try “EVERYWHERE.”
That “somewhere” is known as “Second Life” as of at least 3 years ago.
The things you (cannot un)hear & see when wandering through random areas….
All from the same game though right? Because crossover final fantasy furries would just be messed up.
Kingdom hearts, lion king world, enough said, and I apologize for sharing this knowledge.
Rule 34.
In my dreams. Sweet, sweet, gay nerd dreams.
Hopefully it will shatter her psychie.
HAPPY HAPPY JOYCE JOYCE!
I dont think your happy enough, thats right!
I’ll teach you to be happy!
I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!
Now boys and girls, lets try it again…
I bet Ren will show up and spoil it all.
Are you suggesting Ethan should start hitting himself in the head with a hammer?
Nah, that Mike is there for.
I got your mother to suck my eggs! For a quarter!
Am I doing it right?
Well it’s certainly not cliche.
That WOW needs to be a little bigger, Mike!
I like the extremely loud ellipsis just before the “wow”, myself.
it’s as though even he’s surprised how quickly that worked.
Ethan that is asking the impossible.
Why is it impossible, is it cos we will have to wait a few years before we see next Sunday?
Are we there yet?
NO!!
How ’bout now?
NOPE!
Now?
I’m gonna turn this damn comic AROUND, I SWEAR!!!
I’m not touching you.
I’m not touching you.
I’m not touching you.
No, asking mike not to judge him.
What’s going to happen first? Ethan going to church with Joyce, or Walky getting his Fauxjamajeans?
“Your mission, should you chose to accept it…”
Haha, nice!
Buried or cremated?
oh man. Ethan did something even Mike can’t believe.
I think Mike simply didn’t expect his “lecture him back into the closet” thing to work this well this quickly.
It’s like jumping into a pit trap even if you know its full of snakes. Snakes with chainsaws for fangs. POISONOUS CHAINSAWS.
So Mike’s plan went Horribly Right?
This is exciting! We could actually be catching the birth of Mike’s journey of how to truly weild evil. Sure, he’s hit people. But now he bloms into the fully grown corpse flower that is MIKE!!! (cue lightning)
I just got an amusing visual of Mike cackling madly in front of lightning while Walky stares in horror at just how stupid he looks in those jean pajama pants that Mike got him.
I’m starting to get the impression that this version of Mike really does have Ethan’s back.
He’s curmudgeonly, but he doesn’t really seem to have done anything actively malicious yet beyond giving Walky enough rope to hang himself with when it comes to fashion.
I’ve always had the impression that, ultimately, this is true of Mike anyway.
They just have to suffer, first. To earn it, or somethin’.
Well, he did hit Joe repeatedly.
Surfing the Net is a mitzvah Ethan! Probably….
But are those sites he visits kosher?
It depends if he is reformed probably if he is conservative maybe if he is Orthodox well…
Yes! All sites he visits are made from the proper part of the cow!
Yes, one must use discretion when surfing the intermeats.
Also good Jewish boys and girls avoid any sites that feature PORKING.
I always wondered… if I bought kosher meat on Saturday, would it still be kosher? If it is, the same applies here.
Even *Mike* is off-put by this. Seriously, Ethan, this is in every possible way a bad idea.
This depends on just how gay Ethan is.
Ethan is gayer than even other gay guys.
Too gay to sex up Amber when he had the chance. That’s pretty gay.
He must have been exposed to a heavy dose of gaydiation.
Did he handle yellow cake queeranium without a hazmat suit?
As we all know, queeranium is refined from the gaydioactice assotope uraniass, so it is quite possible.
Kinda depends on what sort of church that is, exactly. Even in the Bible Belt, university towns tend to have a couple of churches that accept gay people . . . without trying to “transform” them. Of course, Joyce seems like the “transforming” type.
I think they’re gonna end up doing it.
I like to think that Mike has integrity. Or maybe just he hates watching others lose theirs. He is the fire that cauterizes wounded souls.
Exactly.
Ethan was supposed to realize that Mike’s advice was far stupider than what he actually did, but nope!
At least it will make things interesting.
Painfully interesting.
AND EVERYTHING WAS OKAY FOREVER
Like I said before this could only lead to good things!
Too bad it’s gonna be another year and a half before this plays out
As a Jew I feel neigh-chronically guilty about not attending temple and I don’t know why. The prayers are dull and repetitive, and I’d probably fall asleep in the middle anyway. Plus there’s always the risk I’ll get called up for an aliyah and my Hebrew is insanely rusty, so that’s embarrassing. But every Saturday I wake up with the glowing green 1:00 staring me in the face I spend a good half-hour agonizing about how I would totally have gone to temple today.
Friday nights aren’t an option because the Friday services are even worse. My temple is bi-denominational, which is nice and all but they don’t have services for my denomination on Fridays. (I’m Conservative, and the bigger congregation is Reform.) And everyone brings their kids…it’s just shit. At least Saturdays usually have interesting sermons and if I get bored I just start flipping through the Bible. There’s no Bibles in the Friday service.
“As a Jew, I feel chronically guilty…”
There’s your “why.”
(It’s okay. I know the feeling well myself.)
This is what the High Holidays are for! Probably…
Mike is servant first and foremost to the punchline. Ethan should know that by now.
That he didn’t de-closet Ethan right here and now is proof that these shenanigans can only end in tears.
Oh I’m sure he will out Ethan by the end of the week. IRL not in storyline. That would be like… another year
Another note about Mike is that his asshole moves have to be funny. They are very rarely just mean, and there has to be a perfect scene for him to ‘out’ Ethan for him to do it.
Evil is patient.
He’ll out him on their honeymoon.
I’m hoping it ends with Mike and Ethan kissing. That should snap him out of it.
Aaaand..ethan just crossed a line
…and then climbed into a closet and bolted it shut.
actually, i kinda wonder, i dont think i’ve seen joyce have a reaction to gay dudes in this or any other universe so far, i mean, she’ll definately be dissapointed to find out he’s not her future hubby, but i’d love it if it turns out dudes doing eachother is the one thing most christians hate that she gives a big thumbs up on…..and the eventual fight between her and mary on that would be so awesome
+1
I… I totally want to see this. Omigosh.
interesting idea, but we know girl on girl is unacceptable to her (even if she’s not invovled), so I’m not sure how cool she’d be with guy on guy by that logic.
In “It’s Walky” there was the scene where she and Walky traded sexes, and Joyce pointed out to Walky something along the lines of “If you’ll notice, we’re both heterosexual in these forms,” and then she was freaked out to notice that she was actually attracted to male Joyce.
So that showed an understanding and acceptance of the concept of sexual orientation, I think, even if I don’t remember her reacting to any actual gay people.
But I dunno if that’s gonna fly here.
I found it funny that when she turned into a dude, she later said she was bigger than walky, in more than one way.
I know Joyce isn’t Catholic, and I don’t think Mary is, but… <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxHtZJphmGA" title="NUN FIGHT!!!"
Now let’s hope I did the HTML right.
HOOO. No. Fail. I put in an tag but it took it out for some reason.
…I’m new at this. Don’t judge me. Enjoy the nun fight.
For next time, the code is:
{a href=”http://www.yoururl.com”}your text goes here{/a}
with < brackets instead of { ones.
Looks like you got the first bit right but missed the closing quotes and the closing bracket before your text ("NUN FIGHT!!!") and the {/a} at the end. Close, though!
Ethan as a liar or Ethan as a depressed wimp…hmm…
We need a Drew.
hmm, maybe we’ll see him at church in a year and a half.
This can only result in good things. (hah this is gonna end in more heartbreak then the last three eps of ben 10)
I smell trouble….. And bacon for some reason
That happens to me too. It’s usually a sign that I’m hungry.
Bacon is the best kind of trouble.
You’ll love our church, Ethan! It’s called Westboro Baptist, and we go all over the country!
I heard Kevin Smith was making a dark comedy based on those guys. I wonder whatever happened to that.
I think it’s called “Comic Book Men.”
Dorothy is in the background of the third panel just looking like “no christ, joyce, don’t do this, he is holding a transformer how can your gaydar be this broke?”
That amuses me.
I was not aware being a fan of Transformers was considered a gay stereotype.
That explains the production of a musical version of the movie at my local theeAYtur.
:O
What did you THINK LGBT stood for?
Likes Go-Bots & Transformers.
That just made my morning, Doc.
Maybe this is just me being an optimist, but surely the better option here is put some effort into making platonic friends. I mean, he’s moping about being alone, but sexuality aside he’s in the same boat as almost every other freshman on campus–hell, he has TWO FRIENDS, he’s already ahead of the game!
Just go out and meet people! Strike up a conversation with someone at the tail ends of a class! Join a club! Go hang out somewhere! I get that your summer was crap, and you’re feeling down, but do SOMETHING. Something other than THIS.
“There’s nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it.”
Your optimism depresses me.
Maybe he is trying to change them from within.
Deep within.
What is that quote from? I love it!
It’s from the very end of a comic series called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.
It’s quite good–it starts out as a simple blood book (albeit an incredibly darkly funny one) and starts gradually deconstructing the elements which make it work (Johnny’s seeming immortality/uncatchability and the nature of the voices in his head) until it becomes a supernatural thriller of sorts (albeit an incredibly darkly funny one.)
Incidentally, the writer makes it incredibly clear that the book should NOT be used as a source of moral guidence (“that would be movies,” he quips via scribbled aside) but I still love that little gem. Here’s the whole quote:
“Dear Die-ary, there’s nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their “discomfort” like a favorite shirt. I can’t say I’m very pleased with where my life is just now… but I can’t help but look forward to where it’s going.”
Of course he goes on to murder dozens of people, but the sentiment is still nice. It is indeed a brilliant series, as is most of Jhonen’s work.
Well to be fair he was just trying to stop the thing in the wall from coming out also he was crazy.
Yeah, but he kept killing people after the Wall thing vanished.
Plus the way I interpreted him feeding it is the entire reason it’s more than just a hallucination.
If you really need to excuse his actions post-being-a-waste lock, the criminal insanity should do it.
See for the best part of my life between 11 and 19, I would, while sharing basically nothing with Ethan apart from a gender (and age at the moment I guess) was for the first half of that depressed at how I’d be alone forever because no girl had gone out with me and I hadn’t lost my virginity yet (it seemed like everyone else had) and for the second half it was ‘I’m so depressed because I’m not with one specific person.
This can only end in tears
Yeah! TEARS OF JOY!
No, not tears. Tears! Tears in the faith-time continuum!
Not those either. Tears as in torn clothes.
At first I’ve read ‘TEARS OF JOYCE!’… I really should go to bed earlier.
Next week, eh? Man, I can’t wait for that stip. It will be the highlight of my 2015!
Argh, I obviously meant to type “strip.” ; ;
I fail to see how this can end badly.
/sarcasm
Ethan has a cunning plan, one that cannot possibly fail…
He’s from Sicilian, after all.
WOW.
You know If Ethan initiated a romatic relationship with Joyce it could in theory last way way too long. I mean Joyce is probably not going to want to have sex until she is married, Ethan is probably going to be okay with not having sex because well Joyce is not a man. Hence they get married and its like prom only a lot more awkward, and that’s just putting it lightly.
It’ll be like that Leslie come-out scene with the genders reversed.
“Is your brother still single?”
Joyce has a brother, right? It’s been a while since my last archive crawl.
She has five.
Not in this universe.
Does she have any brothers in this universe?
Cast page mentions three.
Kinky.
Yeah, and anyways Joyce is only going to want to have sex 2.5 times so she can gave 2.5 kids. Ethan can totally pull that off!
How do they get half a kid? I’d assume she’s against abortion…
Joyce turned to drugs after she found out her husband was gay.
Wow, that went someplace dark pretty quick, huh?
Once more…oh dear…
Don’t make Joyce into Ethan’s beard… please no.
…beard?
look it up on urban dictionary. Either one of the first two definitions will suffice.
Do eeet do eeet!
This is going to turn out A-Okay!
well i honestly can’t think of a way that this could possibly go wrong
Man, I am just not getting it. Why is there and Optimus Primal tag? What Beast Wars quote have I missed?
It is the figure Ethan is playing with.
look at the last panel. now look at ethan’s crotch. LOOK AT IT.
Good lord, what is that Primal *doing* to him!?
WOW.
Is it me or is Ethan asking the impossible of Mike?
Mike’s judging him like Dredd, man.
So…Willis, exactly how much money would it take to bribe you to let me in for a panel or two and smack Ethan?
Or, you know, at least have Mike do it…?
If Mike did it Ethan wouldn’t recognize anything out of the ordinary, except perhaps to wonder why Mike was deviating from his normal level of cruelty in favor of the milder and kinder physical violence.
Dammit. You’re right!
But who will stop this!?
Without the context of the previous page, I would most certainly have to question Ethan’s gayness in this universe. Even with the previous page, I’m having a hard time seeing what he said and the way he said it as anything less than hopeful for love, whether consciously or unconsciously. I mean, is he just that inept at NOT coming on to women? I don’t blame Joyce one bit for interpreting this the wrong way.
That is how he played it. And he is hoping for love, at least for the moment while his judgement is clouded. He wants someone to love him, because he’s depressed and lonely- even if it’s someone who’s love he doesn’t really want, and can’t really love.
Too bad he’s so deep in his depression he can’t see what’s right in front of him >_>
If only he could see Mike. For a nickel.
With his penis.
I really like how Mike is changed subtly in this universe from cartoonish, physics-breaking asshole antics to being a supportive friend who is just an asshole about it.
Just to be clear, I interpret Mike’s surprise here as meaning that his previous “advice” was actually intended to point out that Ethan made the right decision. He wasn’t actually expecting Ethan to take him seriously.
Bad Ethan! Bad! No biscuit!
Aw man. I was scrolling down to see if anybody had already said that. And here it is, right toward the bottom. I sad.
But seriously, Ethan. It’s a gay, nerdy Jew, or just grab the first person you see? Maaaaybe we could relax just a little bit of that first before we dump the whole thing out.
Or, y’know, *try* to find one; you didn’t even do that first, did you?
Noooo Ethan, you traitor! On two counts!
Three.
I doubt Joyce is sufficiently nerdy–do *you* see her carrying a Transformer?
She’s not even carrying a Monkey Master!
Oy vey…
I was at a PFLAG meeting once where a woman told us about how she had some inkling in college that she was gay, but suppressed it for religious reasons. Went on to get married and have kids. Twenty years on, she finally faced the fact. So now she’s married to a guy and has two kids and wants to start dating women. Rather more drama than if she’d just faced it in college and dealt with it then. Her highly religious mother was there with her – you can imagine how well she was taking all of this.
So, what will you do, Ethan? Will you set up yourself and several other people to be hurt, several years down the line? Or will you be honest about who you are?
It may be harder in the long run, but it’s easier now!
And that’s what matters. …Right?
So Ethan is going to pretend he’s straight because he thinks he can’t find a good gay relationship? This won’t end well.
It actually happened in real life, you know.
Yes didn’t you read Ethan’s biography?
What really pisses off Mike here is that Ethan has eliminated the need for all the work Mike planned to do to screw with his head, so now Mike is going to have to come up with a hilarious way to keep Joyce/Ethan from ever happening.
This can only end in tears. The question is, will they be Ethan’s tears, Joyce’s tears, or both?
GIMME 20 ON BOTH! SPIN THE WHEEL!!!!
Mike took the words right out of my mouth.
Only God can Judge me Mike… lol
Ethan….:( be proud not hurt!
Also, woot, my icon is my favorite character now! my joy is un-describable right now
Is un-describable describing it? Of so it isn’t in-describable because it is
Joyce: OMG OMG OMG! I can convert a Jew!!
I predict Ethan will go to this church, sit through that bigoted preacher’s summons, and… learn his lesson after a chewing out from Mary for the evils of being born two things he had no control over?
If only he could see Mike.
For a nickel.
With his penis.
–Wow, deja vu.
yeah failposted this one.
Then re-posted after the comment I wanted to refer to.
[they don’t allow delete posts]
I think Mike’s response is sufficient here. It would be better if he punched him but hey.
Wow indeed.
>Slow Clap< Ethan managed to get a "are you serious?" type of reaction from Mike with that… Well played sir. Well played.
And now Ethan begins building his house of lies, which will be destroyed by the Godzilla-like rage of both Amber and Joyce upon discovering the truth. An Mike will stand in the corner enjoying the chaos.
I don’t think Joyce’s reaction will be “rage”. Rather she’ll probably be hurt, and confused.
Amber though… could potentially take it *very* badly, especially if there is some sort of misunderstanding. And there will be one. Possibly caused by Mike.
With his penis. For a nickel.
–Sorry, couldn’t resist.
in his [ethan’s] face.
Aaaand finally caught up on this comic too
No! Bad Ethan! That is not the same thing as keeping your mouth shut!
I hear “bad idea” every where!
Do not judge the gay jew please.
Quick question: Are they all from the same universe as shortpacked and roomies or not?
It’s a Multiverse sort of deal. So, no.
They are not.
I firmly believe that Mike planned this. And now he’s beginning his phase of making Ethan feel bad about doing exactly what Mike wanted.
Hope you pride yourself in being right about toys on the Internet, Ethan, ‘cuz you sure blow when things actually matter.
Oh, poor Joyce.
A gay jew going too a cathlic church to impress a girl? Not only is he a sell out, but he a mystery raped in enigma
Enigma raped him? That explains a few things, actually.
I’m pretty sure for once Mike and I are in agreement.