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The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 4h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
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| TEAM FOSSILS
Rainbow Friends
So does Dorothy actually know Amber’s name or is she using the adjective?
That … is a surprisingly good question.
Wasn’t her name given in that scene where Joe claimed they were clones?
Yup. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/composited/
Interestingly, in that very comic Dorothy expresses the exact same possessive sentiments that Danny has expressed here, differing primarily in that Danny is also disdainful of Dorothy’s new squeeze. Oh, and the fact that she dumped him.
Of course when Dorothy does it it’s okay, but when Danny is annoyed at the speed of moving on, he’s a terrible, terrible person.
Unfortunately, Danny has been rather unpleasant about various aspects of this already. And almost immediately after Dotty got upset, she shook it off, remembered that it didn’t actually matter, and moved on. And Danny is more “whining eternally” than “annoyed”, and he’s less “a terrible person” than “a bit of a prick”.
So, thanks for playing, but nope.
Dorothy was saved from embarassing herself further by being immediately interrupted by Joe, who thoroughly routed the conversation elsewhere. Danny, on the other hand, has just had this sprung on him in an intentionally (by Mike) off-putting manner, and Dorothy has pushed him into his room and hasn’t offered him an opportunity to let the conversation go, because she’s that committed to shamelessly using him as a shoe store.
And Danny’s “eternal whining” has been going on for maybe three minutes. Don’t let the comic timeframe mess with you; he’s made maybe three rude comments in rapid succession, with Dorothy actively (and knowingly!) ripping off the band-aid and provoking his ire. If Dorothy would just stop trying to abuse Danny’s generosity and get the hell out of there, this would end right quick and Danny would get back to happily being Mr. Lois Lane.
So yep. Dorothy was no better.
+1 for begbert – keep in mind Donny just got
Mike-blindsided about all this, y’all. He was in his dorm
minding his own business when all this came to him ……….
Which kind of seems to be a theme. Before she just kind of dropped in unannounced to interview his roommate. Danny had a perfectly pleasant evening planned before he got home and found his surprise visitor. He started whining once Dorothy drove Amber away with her questions about Amazigirl.
Today again. Guy’s not even dressed yet. Just trying to eat his cereal in peace when he answers the door and finds all this waiting for him. Maybe
Gee. Didn’t mean to click submit. The scroll wheel on this mouse is finicky.
Danny, think carefully, you now have the upper hand in this argument. Don’t ruin it.
Tomorrow, he ruins it. Wonder how, though.
Based on my experience as a 18year old male trying to make a girl jealous. It’ll be by speaking. It doesn’t matter what he says soon as he tries to make a point hes doomed
You better watch it Danny, she’ll be wanting your pants next.
But he’s too tall, they wont fit her at all.
That comment goes shockingly well with your Gravatar.
Mongoose’s Gravatar, on the other hand, just goes HILARIOUSLY with the comment. I’m now going to pretend that Chiaki and Elan totally had this conversation.
Panel 2 Dorothy: Dem Charlie Chaplin eyebrows
All she needs now is the bowler hat and hook cane.
I really want to hear Dorothy talking with a fast paced comic from the 50s now.
My first thought was Groucho, actually.
Yeah…in my haste I wrote the wrong one down.
Oops?
Dotty’s expressions in this comic are great
Dorothy needs to put something on the table for this to even start to look like bargaining.
…count down to this wretched hive of scum and villainy turning this to something dirty in 3… 2… 1…
Put something on the table? Do you mean money? I don’t understand…
1.) *facepalm*
2.) Well, good job Danny. Good job. This will not end well.
3.) Again…*facepalm*
4.) Dorothy’s face in the second panel will make a nice gravatar image.
Yes to all of these.
In regards to #4. Yes, yes it does.
Down the hall and on the left, can’t miss it.
And, for once, Danny’s got Dorothy by the balls.
OH MY, Walky WILL be surprised by that fact.
Now I’m thinking of the ending of the song, “Lola”.
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/k/kinks/lola_20079021.html
Also, super-enjoying Danny’s haughty face. (yeah I know faaace)
Hey Amazi-girl! Leorale just called your boyfriend a Hotty!
Just keep holding out, Danny. She’ll want your penis as well eventually.
I hope for his sake that she doesn’t get it, otherwise slow Friday nights will become that much more boring.
it’s never said he won’t get a replacement.
Panel 3 Dorothy is freaking out because the background’s gone.
dang that wasn’t supposed to be a reply
With the fourth wall gone, she’s looking out and seeing all these commenters discussing her sex life. Her expression is very appropriate.
Someone repair the Fourth Wall, STAT!
We need to get someone atop the fourth wall to fix it! Someone who’s an expert at fourth walls!
Uhm….
I know- Jesu Otaku!!
(just kidding Linkara!)
He’ll teach *you* a lesson you won’t learn…
Dorothy has nearly all the makings of a Clark Kent.
I dunno, she seems a bit more Lois Lane to me. Though Danny’s also kind of Lois. It’s like they split her attributes down the middle.
tehehe, Dorothy’s disadvantage in this situation is just getting worse and worse…
Danny do not ruin your new relationship so Dorothy can have a story! Do not! DO! NOT!
He’s totally going to.
I don’t think Danny’s that kind of guy.
I hope not and it says a lot about Dorothy that she would even ask this of him.
Indeed, she does seem to be the type who would be willing to ruin relationships and hurt people (at least emotionally) for the sake of her personal success. I am disappointed (though not surprised) that Danny would let a secret slip like that as well, however, even if he is not “dating” Amazi-girl in the strictest sense of the word.
…And either way, the guy is still the single most dense character in the whole comic.
Danny will keep quiet. If not to protect his relationship with Amazi-girl, than to protect this feeling of superiority over Amber.
And over Dorothy.
Danny is superior to many, many people.
Second panel Dorothy scares me.
Third panel Dorothy is hilarious.
Danny you arent supposed to tell people your girlfriend is a superhero, next thing you know you get a chainsaw shoved up your ass.
Or stuffed into a fridge.
Well he can’t fit into one of those little dorm fridges until his limbs are pared of can he?
No! Not my mini-fridge! He’ll get blood all over my pudding cups.
Well, that’s generally how it works, regardless.
The first rule of dating a superhero is that you do NOT tell anyone you are dating a superhero.
Second rule is that you inevitably WILL.
I am not dating a superhero.
Wait, I’m confused. Did I get that right?
Danny’s face is amazing every panel of this strip, but I think I like panel 4’s the best.
Very pouty-eight-year-old.
Well played, sir.
I like how Danny doesn’t even open his eyes to chat with Dotty now. Indifference level up!
He’s maxed out his indifference bar! *level up music from Fire Emblem starts playing*
Danny, she could do anything for the information.Let the sinister thoughts and machinations begin.
Dotty what is the secret of your magic eyebrows? they get large, then disappear, then reappear above your head. Teach me your ways.
They were launched to outer space in the 3rd panel, only to land on top of her head in the 4th.
“With the Glasses!”
Considering that the only place he is ‘dating’ Amazi-girl is in his head, he needs to shut up now. Enjoy those trump cards while you got ’em Danny boy.
I don’t think it’s exactly delusional for him to say they’re dating. They’re spending a lot of time together and they have a romantic interest in each other. Amber is using her alter ego to get close to him. Amber didn’t deny him being her Lois Lane after all. Just because they aren’t getting physical yet doesn’t mean there’s nothing between them.
Even if Amber is into Danny, the presumptive “We’re dating, even though I haven’t asked you out” has spooked speculative partners in real life and the “How dare you ask out the person I was disguised as!” is a wackiness-ensues type trope older than Shakespeare.
Amber seems pretty into this whole being with Danny as Amazi-Girl thing though although I’m sure she’ll get tired of it eventually as she grows increasingly jealous of herself but they both have that fantasy of him eventually figuring out who she is after having kissed them both.
It’s too late. It doesn’t matter if Danny says anything more. Dotty’s going to stalk him waiting to see if Amazi-Girl shows. All Dotty has to do then is throw Danny’s words back in his face.
I don’t like it when Willis makes ’em all faz like. Creeps me out.
Faz doesn’t OWN the “closed-eyes” look. Jughead had it first.
Faz bought it from Jughead’s mother.
Willis you fucking bastard, you made his face look like Faz’s on purpose
I can’t wait until we meet DoA Faz
Every time someone says that, Willis pushes Faz’s debut in DoA back another week. As a Faz despiser…
I can’t wait to meet DoA Faz
My hatred for Danny seems to be growing with each strip. Hes reaching Roomies Joyce levels of insufferableness.
You need a hug.
Virtual HUG. Engage!
Hug received. Urge to kill fading…fading…RISING!…fading…gone.
It’s not going to work Dotty, Amazi-Girl’s chest puppies are bigger than yours.
This
But we should get them to smoosh them together for close comparison.
Just to be sure.
For science!
Make-outs in the name of SCIENCE
If only Danny could decide between Amazi-Girl and Amber…hey you know they look kinda alike. You don’t think…naaaaah!
Funny a lot of people seem to be hating Danny now. I’m actually liking him more and more.
I was thinking the same thing. He finally stops being a doormat – how dare he? Dorothy has been flat out trying to use him, first for shoes then for her personal ambition, since first thing this morning.
I’m not sure if I’m more displease about the using or about it being 7 AM. I am not a morning person.
“I’m not sure if I’m more displease about the using or about it being 7 AM. I am not a morning person”
With Dorothy, there is no need to choose!
7 am for me. I am not a morning person.
Why do you people keep saying that everyone with closed eyes looks like Faz? First off, there is a specific smile that goes with the closed eyes look! Second of all, you’re silly nincompoops!
Faz with no smile is no Faz at all. (except that one time)
Oh boy.
You know, I think I’ve figured Dorothy out a bit.
She’s spoiled.
She is used to getting what she wants, when she wants it, and doesn’t understand ‘no.’ Things need to be on her terms, and she does not fathom offering compromise or negotiate.
You notice that she offers a lot of ultimatums, but does not offer things to other parties they might want? No effort to compromise? It doesn’t even come to her mind.
She just threatens Amzi-Girl:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/side/
And she threatens Walky:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/05-saturdays-all-right-for-slighting/no/
Which is why Walky is perfect for her, he ain’t gonna let no woman cramp is manliness. That’s why he chooses the Jeans over her in your example.
Hee, hee. Yeah.
He seems to just be a puss to other men (or at least just Mike).
Perhaps this will be a good influence on her. At least until she gets her invite to Harvard or Yale, or some such (if she can hack it).
Dorothy knows that she’s right about everything. Why should a person who’s right about everything bother with negotiation? Other people should simply recognize that she’s right and do what she wants.
Lol.
It fits her actions perfectly.
i love danny’s “closed eyes the whole time” facial expressions
DOES
SHE
HAVE
CHEST
WINDOWS?
8-F
WHY IS DANNY KEEPING HIS EYES CLOSED THE WHOLE TIME?
Seriously its so creepy its feaking me out.
Contribution. It’s all about contribution.
Comics in all caps confuse my poor tiny brain sometimes. I read Danny’s line as “So you want my shoes and my amazi-girl”, like amazi-girls are a common, generic sort of item.
The possessive he put on her name does have a rather casually possessive vibe which is only enhanced due to being put right alongside the shoes, which I assume he’s deliberately doing for the sake of having a little haughty humor while pointing out that Dorothy is only here to ask him for things.
tldr: I think you actually read it right the first time.
Well, we already have two universes, each with its own Amazi-Girl. Given the precedent set by superhero comics for parallel realities, if David Willis keeps doing comics for long enough, we could be positively swimming in Amazi-Girls.
“Reading” this strip by ignoring the word bubbles and just looking at the art is pretty darn hilarious on its own. Great expressions.
This is awesome!
My spouse saw the random header pic of Dorothy kissing Walky, and wondered why two girls were kissing.
You have successfully made a caramel bishie, Mr. Willis.
(Applauds.)
THIS SUBJECT IS NOT RELATED TO THE CURRENT STRIP
TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT
I was recently reading of the terrible story of the 11-year-old girl who was gang raped in a trailer by men ranging from middle-schoolers to 26-year-olds.
The New York Times ran an article where they described the victim as “dressing as a 20-year-old” and “hanging out with older boys” (stay classy NYT).
This is of course an aspect of rape culture: blaming the victim for the clothes she was wearing and who she was with.
How it’s related to DoA: when Joyce was assaulted, she wasn’t drinking alcohol and she wasn’t dressed provocatively. And yet she was still attacked.
So I wonder: did David Willis do that on purpose? To show that regardless of how one is dressed and what one is doing, a person can always be victimized?
Or maybe he did so no one in the comments could say “well she WAS showing shoulders, the hussy”.
What are your thoughts?
Either way, my respect for Willis has increased now that I have realized this. He is the only webcomic artist (and comic artist in general!) that has tackled the subject of sexual assault without brushing off the controversial issues that come with it.
I know this is terribly belated, but bravo Willis.
Ok first off, love this comic. I just found it a couple days ago, and I read the whole thing so far. But has it really taken Willis two years to get us a month into the first semester of college?
Wait, we’re a month in? When did that happen? What year is this?
“YOU CAN TELL HOW SERIOUS I AM BECAUSE WHAT I’M SAYING IS BOLDED.”