Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
Whomp!
Ronnie
A depressed, portly, hirsute anime fan stumbles through life in the ever-pursuit of chicken nuggets and other life-shortening indulgences.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
El Goonish Shive
Dan Shive
WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Starhammer
J.N. Monk, Harry Bogosian
A teen girl inherits a powerful alien artifact and proceeds to make a series of increasingly poor decisions
Paranatural
Zack Morrison
Superpowered middle schoolers fight evil spirits in their rural hometown. Come for the jokes, stay for the cast, the creatures, and the mystery that ties them all together!
Wychwood
Varethane
When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
Caramel Corn
Potchimew
Sarah is the only human left in a world full of mythical creatures and monsters. All she wants to do is live a quiet life, but everything changes when she meets her guardian angel, Jacob.
The Witch Door
Anni K.
Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
Jailbird
Charlie Davis
An all-ages comic about a recently escaped prisoner's struggle to understand the outside world, and vice-versa. Also, a magic cape!
Monster Pulse
Magnolia Porter Siddell
Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
Cut Time
Juby
Rel and her trusty avian friend Fugue are on a quest to save a world that's lost track of time. Follow them and their new recruits, in a story written with help from the stars.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Godslave
Meaghan Carter
Edith has been thrown into the dangerous world of modern-day Egyptian mythology. Fighting monsters and dealing with family drama of godly proportions.
Sufficiently Remarkable
Maki Naro
Two young women living in Brooklyn discover that you're always coming of age.
The End
August Brown, Cory Brown
Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Go Get a Roomie
Clover
Experience the queer journey of an upbeat hippie and the friendships she makes along the way! A tale of self-discovery and love of many forms.
Anarchy Dreamers
Emily Ree
Sparkly undead kids fight society's worst Nightmares in this pastel-punk urban fantasy coming-of-age!
Tigress Queen
Allison Shaw
A barbarian warlord and a pampered prince try to avoid a marriage alliance that could end decades of violence.
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
The Automan's Daughter
Mike Stamm
Aisha Osman and her uncle Siddig outwit bikers, spies and kidnappers while gearing up for a showdown with the formidable Widowmaker mecha.
The Sanity Circus
Windy
Magic, monsters and mysteries await in the odd city of Sanity. It's up to Attley and a colorful group of characters to find out just what is going on.
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
Awaken
Koti Saavedra/Flipfloppery
Superpowers, monsters and conspiracies. Piras, the spoiled Dameschi heir, fights to recover his identity after becoming a terrorist!
Kiwi Blitz
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
Steffi thinks she can use her kiwi mech to become a superhero. This idea turns out to be very stupid.
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Hazy London
Scotty
A story about messy relationships. From friendly foes to crazy families. Nothing is black and white, just full of color. But, all colors can get a little hazy...
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
Devil's Candy
Rem, Bikkuri
A lush fantasy about boy genius Kazu Decker, the girl he constructed for his 9th grade science project, and the world of devils and monsters they live in.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
Ghost Junk Sickness
Studio CARTRIDGE, Laura Lee
Two hunters try to survive and end up being pushed to pursue a deadly bounty dubbed "The Ghost".
The Lonely Vincent Bellingham
Diana Huh
Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
This is Not Fiction
Nicole Mannino
What do you do when the person you're in-love with is an anonymous romance novelist? Get your best friend to hire your worst enemy for help!
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
Lilith's Word
inkPangur
If you had the power to make any wish come true using just one word, what would you say?
Fireweeds Moors
Gato Iberico
A cat-headed man and a girl with a sandwich hankering accidentally end up in a myth-infused country where magic chalices are a really big thing.
Never Satisfied
Taylor Robin
Lucy Marlowe, a magician's apprentice, competes against other apprentices for an important, magical, Goverment Job.
Kochab
Sarah Webb
A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
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Of course. Everyone knows the number one trait of rebellious biker girls is affinity for breakfast cereal.
…
Aaand now I’m just picturing Dina riding a custom chopper shaped like a velociraptor.
What makes it so great when tiny dogs growl at you is that they totally think they are massive wolves ready to tear your throat out. The fact that they are specifically bred to fit in bimbo-purses does not register.
Yorkies are the WORST! It’s the decibel levels they are capable of achieving that drive me nuts. My sister has a pair that go mental anytime anyone comes to the door.
The problem is owners who don’t treat them like proper dogs, thereby confusing the dog as to it’s place in the pack. They get the idea that they lead the pack and are therefore responsible for protecting the pack. Leads to all sorts of annoying behaviour, ie. yapping, marking, snapping at people who get to close to their person. Only makes it worse that some owners think this behaviour funny when it first starts because the dog is so small and cute. Not good for the dog either tend to make them aggressive or an anxious mess, sometimes a bit of both.
Speaking as a cyclist, I have found — to my dismay — that those damned little dogs seem to be genetically disposed to make up in nasty what they lack in size. And those small teeth seem to almost always come to needle points.
Don’t dismiss chihuahuas so easily, years ago when I worked in door to door charity sales, a one-eyed chihuahua went beyong merely yapping and used the screen door to try and bite me in the throat, vicious little bastard.
After a certain point, all the emotional pain and inner turmoil just has to take a back seat to some good ol’ fashioned slapstick, ya know?
People angstin’ over their lives can’t really beat a pie to the face in terms of entertainment value.
I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying Joe has always been cool, a little overly macho and afraid of feelings sometimes, but more or less always respectful.
That “College Ho!” storyline was the same one where Sal threatened, literally, in so many words, to rape Danny, and this was played for laughs. (No, seriously.) Calibrated against that, Joe running around making kissy noises at college hos (yes, that was the “joke” in the title) barely even registers on the terriblometer.
I have trouble sometimes believing that the David Willis who wrote that is the same David Willis who’s writing DoA. Maybe Roomies! Willis got abducted by aliens and replaced by a pod person infiltrator with the mission to prepare the Earth for the alien takeover by manipulating our media. If so, I, for one, welcome our new alien webcomic artists. (This might also explain his inhuman buffer.)
I want to say that it takes guts to put your “juvenalia” (which was safely off the internet in print history’s cobwebbed storage room of college comics) onto the internet at all, let alone linked to your uber-popular new strips in which the same characters appear. But I’m so glad I can read the backstory/counterstory! Thanks, Willis!
Yeah, Joe’s pretty much always been cool like that. Always asking for a yes, but always willing to accept a no with good grace.
Except early in Roomies!, but everyone was terrible early in Roomies!. Joyce’s “personality” back then was “obsessive stalker”, Sarah didn’t even have that much, and Danny was Danny. And the rest of the cast had yet to be introduced.
Good God I read that as ‘white walken’ and was completely confused. “What does Christopher Walken have to do with it?”
Time to back away from the monitor.
I’m actually more confused about the protectiveness towards Sarah in particular, and why she’s so mad. Does she have some kind of history I’ve forgotten about?
When Joyce got roofied at the party it was Sarah who designated herself as Joyce’s guardian angel and used her Louisville Slugger to turn the would-be molester into a ground-rule double. Joyce is merely returning the favor — not that Sarah needs the help…..
Sarah’s very protective of Joyce, probably still annoyed at Joe over the conversation they had before the date… and remember that, unlike us, Sarah didn’t see what happened on the date, so her perception is filtered entirely through Joyce. And if Joyce has ever confessed that she hired a guy to punch Joe in the face, we haven’t seen it.
Joyce had issues with sexuality and lust to begin with. Since then she was almost raped and is now dating a self-hating gay guy willingly since he’ll never put the moves on her. She’s not the most stable person.
I can actually categorically prove the proof of this statement, using the classic site’s dialogue search engine. See, in It’s Walky! and related properties, swears were either grawlixed out or scribbled over, so you can find any swear words by searching for “#”. You can also find when a certain character found a certain thing by typing “name :” before the dialogue you’re searching for.
Now, when I plug in “joyce : #”, absolutely no results come up at all. Therefore, today’s comic does not in fact indicate any change to Joyce’s personality cross-dimensionally.
I do, doesn’t mean I don’t double-check my facts before making an assertion. And I figured “I know off the top of my head that Joyce never swore in the old universe” wouldn’t be a very persuasive argument, because c’mon, that’s kinda crazy.
I was ok with her until this particular moment. Her anger at Joe strikes me as not only being all out of proportion to the situation, but extremely unfair given that Joe is reacting so well to being shot down in such an aggressive manor and not at all being a jerk. Joyce’s rant really put me off her. In Joe’s place, I’d have told her that Sarah is a big girl who can take care of herself and that Joyce needs to mind her own business and grow the hell up. I don’t know why, but that third panel really hit me wrong.
I feel a bit of this too. It’s unnecessary and overkill on Joyce’s part – which is part of why they find it funny, though if she’d used actual swearwords they’d probably be a little more bothered by it.
I sense that Joyce is really trying not to be adorable when she’s angry and threatening. The fact that she’s failing completely somehow just makes it even cuter.
Yotomoe, the hell are you talking about? Babies have conned the whole world into attending to their every whim whenever they desire. There are kings of vast empires that have less power than a two week old baby.
While I will agree about Joyce in general, in this case it is cute because Joyce is completely unable to break out of her shell even when she is trying.
If it helps, people find being laughed at worse than mere failure. Sometimes they find it worse than contempt since they couldn’t even rise to that level.
To be fair, Joe’s never been other than this in regards to his pursuits. He’ll make a pass at anyone, but we got a look into old-Joe’s thought process in a FAANS! crossover a few years back. Seduction isn’t a fight, in his mind, it’s a mutually enjoyable game for two.
Literally Rofl at this panel.
Joyce you’re trying, but you did give it a shot, and missed by a mile.
The fact that everyone in the room is trying not to fall off their chairs didn’t help me keep a straight face, at all.
I see it as a step forward for her, she never would have spoken up like that last year (yesterday DOA time). She only exploded when ‘mariitial hanky panky’ was suspected.
I may be the only one here who finds Joyce’s outburst disturbing rather than amusing. Yes, her non-cursing makes her sound stupid, but it’s a think veneer of stupid over the very real rage she’s showing. And this is the girl who required no prompting to resort to physical violence.
Yes I know it won’t happen because this is a happy friendly comic, but the usually-nice Joyce strikes me as somebody who has very little self-control when she decides to snap.
The move classic way is when you stand over your quailing victim with your beating’ hand raised and shaking, but don’t actually start pounding because that would get you a worse rating. Your gear slips a few notches, but doesn’t start spinning freely.
We’ve seen actual proof that Joyce not only doesn’t hold back the pounding, but she doesn’t regret it afterwards. To me that side of her is a bit disturbing.
This seems to me to be a very intentional and integral part of her character. The thin veneer of a repressed homeschool fundie over a boiling pit of rage provides great opportunities for conflict/drama with others as well as herself. So much potential for character development with how and where she directs that rage. Considering Joyce is Willis’ personal autobiographical avatar I imagine it provides some catharsis telling how she deals with it. Then again I could be talking out my arse.
No, I’m right there with you. That is a really disproportionate amount of rage considering Joe’s “crime”. My personal theory is that her aversion to Joe is a cocktail of lust for him, jealousy of him (the same way she’s jealous of Walky/Dorothy), and good ol’ self-righteous repulsion.
But then I read another commentor’s theory that maybe she can’t distinguish between Joe’s horndog-ing and that dude who assualted her. Which makes sense to me.
I agree. The levels of anger from Joyce seems quite out of line with that of any reasonable person. One has to wonder why the cast remains friends at all due to their inability to be able to actually be nice to one another for longer than a single day. Perhaps they are all so damaged that all of their other peers have since ostracized them due to their unrelenting rage issues (deserved or not). I can just imagine sitting at another table near them and hearing their exchanges with one another day after day. Definitely would have me warning others away from this disturbed group of children.
Part of what makes it so funny I think is just that it doesn’t make any sense on the surface. She’s not willing to swear, but it’s OK to pummel him. Looking at it a little more closely though it does start to make sense within her moral grounds. If there is ever a time for justified violence in the eyes of Joyce’s God, it makes sense to me at least that defending someone from being dragged off to be raped would be on the list.
I think the reason she reacted so strongly here though probably has to do with her own nearly raped experience. She’s saying if you don’t back off of Sarah who is clearly not interested, I will fight. Jumping to the conclusion that Joe might rape Sarah could be a result of what happened to her as well.
I didn’t find it amusing. It made me dislike her a little bit. I think it’s the unfairness of it. Both Sarah and Joyce act like Joe’s done something terrible by being interested in Sarah. He didn’t press when Sarah made it obvious she wasn’t interested and he wasn’t a jerk about it either, despite the aggro shut down he got. He didn’t deserve Joyce’s BS.
I think it is because we have seen that Joe’s goal in college is to collect notches on his bedpost; Dorothy and Sarah both know this and find this repulsive for varying reasons — Joyce because of her upbringing and Sarah because it is counter to what she is in school for. Remember, according to the storyline she narked out her previous roommate for being too much of a party girl. Sarah’s reaction under those circumstances seems appropriate for the situation.
OTOH Joyce seems to be over-reacting precisely because she has been displaying so much self-control. She is like the Mythbusters water heater with the disabled safety valve; the pressure of her moral outrage has been building over the past four weeks of in-comic time. And just like the water heater, when she finally blows it is going to be spectacular!
You’re right — I had forgotten what pushed Dana over the edge from casual toker to full-time stoner. But the end result was the same; it was causing Sarah’s grades to fall and possibly jeopardizing her scholarship.
I’m not seeing how Joe’s hobby is counter to Sarah’s goals for school. Sure she’s not here for sex, but unless Joe’s sex compromises her grades I don’t see why she’d care one way or the other.
Have we seen her get ragey about Joe and his sexuality on any previous instance?
I think her problem is she’s tried to sidestep his advances before and it’s just sorta fueled his interest. In her mind, this is the only way to make him back off.
Actually Joyce was prompted to physical violence – Joe was looking at another woman on their “date”.
Not that I find it excusable, but it was a combination of possessiveness, jealousy, and her mixed up belief’s about sex and lust.
Now add to her unresolved almost rape fears and the fact that she is somewhat of a virtuous slut – also unresolved – and you have an outburst.
Reminds me, actually, of the story about Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), who reportedly had a rather salty vocabulary, and his wife Olivia, who did not appreciate it. Clemens tried to keep watch on his tongue when she was close by; but one day something irritated him and, thinking his wife could not hear, he launched into a torrent of red-hot profanity. When he entered his wife’s room a short time later, she coolly repeated word-for-word everything he had said.
“Livy,” he replied, astounded yet amused, “did it sound like that?”
“Of course it did,” she said, “only worse. I wanted you to hear just how it sounded.”
“Livy, it would pain me to think that when I swear it sounds like that. You got the words right but you don’t know the tune.”
Which is why it’s just about as satisfying to swear in a completely different language to your own even if you only know that a word is “bad” rather than its true meaning, so long as the sounds are correct. It’s not about the word, it’s all about the emphasis.
…and from then on, everyone was (platonic) friends, their previously positively-reinforcing emnity shattered in one fell swoop by the ludicrous awkwardness of the situation?
Ummm do you mean ‘swears better’ in place of mature? Joyce is at least somewhat mature. And is still dealing w/issues. Frankly Joyce seems to fit my memories of how I was at 18 and totally fits w/college freshmen I’ve met since.
Joyce is mature in some ways – but a lot of that is merely acting on programming. She is immature in other ways, more than many freshmen.
She certainly expects to be coddled and babied. Even as the baby of HER family, the message would have been sent a few times in the last couple of (comic strip time) weeks.
You know, the way Billie has had to deal with the fact that she isn’t a cheerleader any more and what she or her family was in high school doesn’t matter.
George Carlin: “Because that’s what they taught us! It’s what’s in your mind that counts! Your intentions! That’s how we’ll judge you – what you want to do! Mortal sin: had to be a grievous offense, sufficient reflection, and full consent of the will. You had to wanna!”
Might as well have used the actual words, Joyce. God knows what you meant!!
That’s true, but if nothing else people are good at rationalizing how what they do doesn’t count.
In that family, the way they are brought up, Joyce would never think of it.
Oh, Joyce, nobody will ever take you seriously if you insist on fake-swearing. That’s one of those things where you need to go all-in or just not bother. Now go read some Warren Ellis or Garth Ennis comics and try again later.
Okay I’m laughing so hard right now. That’s adorable and I just want to pat her head. I used to want to pair Joe and Joyce, but now I see them more like brother and sister.
“Poopieface?” “Fudge you up?” “Dang?” “A-Hole?” Poor Joyce, with those epithets you’ve just blown your chance at salvation so you might as well see to to Joe.
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Joe died of Laughter that day
Right before everyone else died due to the massive hole in reality the tore open when Sarah started to giggle.
It looks like more of a snorting chortle to me.
Either way, we are DOOMED.
Truly the end is nigh.
Joe with a normal grin not a lecherous one and anything resembling mirth from Sarah is a sign of the apocalypse.
The next sign is Walky wearing a suit and tie.
http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1717
Different universe, don’t think it counts
Alternatively:
REPENT! REPENT YE SINNERS AND PRAY FOR MERCY! THE DESTROYER IS MANIFEST AND THE END IS NIGH!
And on that day, humanity was reminded of the pain and fear that can only be caused by….Willis.
So, I haven’t read Shortpacked in quite some time and now my jaw just unhinged itself and now my mouth wont close. Please send help.
Whereupon Mike smiles at you and kindly inquires as to your mother’s wellbeing.
You mean he’s drunk?
Snorting Chortle is the name of my Weezer tribute band.
Weezer Tribute Band is the name of my Paul and Storm tribute band
Not before turning Asian.
Enhance your calm Joyce, you’re freaking the normals out.
Who are these “normals” of which you speak?
In theory, Sarah and Dotty.
Maintain low tones! Maintain low tones!
I just hope she doesn’t resort to Murder-Death-Kills.
Nah, Joyce has too many of those Joy-Joy good vibes from singing about Armor hotdogs
And eating Taco Bell
Demolition man reference for the win
Dem CURSE words
Mebs! Mebs!
Joyce….your attempt at cursing is adorable.
And this is why she can’t Ride Sal’s bike.
Riley would be able to ride Sal’s bike before Joyce could.
Of course. Everyone knows the number one trait of rebellious biker girls is affinity for breakfast cereal.
…
Aaand now I’m just picturing Dina riding a custom chopper shaped like a velociraptor.
She’s riding an actual Velociraptor. She’s just making the noises.
While wearing a pterodactyl-hide leather jacket.
Her boots? 100% genuine baby T-rex.
CHOMPER, NO!
How dare you reference the Land before time sequels!!!!!!!
They were pure freaking poopy!
And she will never get to play card games.
Card games on bikes?
Yes Tunaro, CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!
I dunno, maybe Sal’s gang can make Joyce their adorable mascot.
Sal is a lone wolf, from what I gather she’s not in a gang.
Well, she does frequently hang out with that deaf girl who’s name I am blanking on.
Marcy?
She’s mute not deaf.
Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?
Joyce’s threat is equivalent to a chihuahua growling at someone: so bad it’s absolutely adorable.
What makes it so great when tiny dogs growl at you is that they totally think they are massive wolves ready to tear your throat out. The fact that they are specifically bred to fit in bimbo-purses does not register.
They’re bred to piss me off and be easy to punt. Worst evolutionary strategy.
Punting dogs is often illegal, kind sir.
But with chihuahuas? Oddly satisfying.
They’re actually deceivingly difficult to punt, squirm at the absolute worst moment. Now, Yorkies…..
Yorkies are the WORST! It’s the decibel levels they are capable of achieving that drive me nuts. My sister has a pair that go mental anytime anyone comes to the door.
Am I the only person thinking about Angel in Rent right now?
: ) : ) : ) now you’re not yaaaay
With small dogs I always thought it was “small man syndrome” and so they were overcompensating out of insecurity and feelings of inferiority.
Us vertically challenged people are NOT overcompensating.
We’re just fed up with having to deal with taller people’s altitude sickness !
The problem is owners who don’t treat them like proper dogs, thereby confusing the dog as to it’s place in the pack. They get the idea that they lead the pack and are therefore responsible for protecting the pack. Leads to all sorts of annoying behaviour, ie. yapping, marking, snapping at people who get to close to their person. Only makes it worse that some owners think this behaviour funny when it first starts because the dog is so small and cute. Not good for the dog either tend to make them aggressive or an anxious mess, sometimes a bit of both.
Speaking as a cyclist, I have found — to my dismay — that those damned little dogs seem to be genetically disposed to make up in nasty what they lack in size. And those small teeth seem to almost always come to needle points.
I read chihuahua as cthulhu and was completely confused.
All fear the Dark and Terrible Cthihuahulu lest he darken the skies with blood and piss all on your couch! With blood!
It’s true, he did it at a company party one time.
Seems legit.
Don’t dismiss chihuahuas so easily, years ago when I worked in door to door charity sales, a one-eyed chihuahua went beyong merely yapping and used the screen door to try and bite me in the throat, vicious little bastard.
Look, that chihuahua’s got a vicious streak a mile wide, it’s a killer!
He’s got huge, sharp… er… He can leap about. Look at the bones!
Whoa, simmer down Joyce. Your making it difficult to abandon the mission.
I still ship Sarah and Joe, Its meant to be.
Sarah is on top always. With a bat to make sure he knows his place.
Now THAT’S a pinup idea!
Willis! Draw it! For the good of all mankind draw it!
The bat can also be adapted for other purposes during the act.
I wonder if Joe’s into pegging?
Like it or not, here she comes.
It’s gonna happen. I don’t think Joe would’ve gone into such detail otherwise.
Right? He said “I like women who exactly fit your description. Including the growl.” That is a ship ready to sail, if I ever saw one.
Oh Joyce, you adorable naive woman you. This is why we all love you.
I want to see Joyce stub her toe. It’ll be freaking precious.
Or fall and scrape her knee.
Why would you wish for her to be hurt so?
After a certain point, all the emotional pain and inner turmoil just has to take a back seat to some good ol’ fashioned slapstick, ya know?
People angstin’ over their lives can’t really beat a pie to the face in terms of entertainment value.
She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee. Her dress has got a tear….
Aw, heck! This shucks so much donkey bags! Cheese and rice, who put this piece of stuff here?
AH fuuuuuuuuuuuucryin’ out loud! My Mother Fridgin’ TOE!!! That hurts like a B-word!
Fiddlesticks and Atheist!
Hey, I used to play bass for Fiddlesticks and Atheist.
Fiddlesticks and Atheist is my They Might Be Giants tribute band.
You seem to have surprising number of tribute bands.
… I’d listen to them all!
I’d Listen to Them All is the name of my Toys and Tiny Instruments tribute band.
Toys and Tiny Instruments Tribute Band is the name of my Cradle of Filth tribute band.
Yeah.
Okay, this made me like Joe quite a bit.
Granted, I know very little about his previous versions, but I liked how he reacted to the rejection. Respect instead of making fun.
I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying Joe has always been cool, a little overly macho and afraid of feelings sometimes, but more or less always respectful.
Yes, always respectful.
That “College Ho!” storyline was the same one where Sal threatened, literally, in so many words, to rape Danny, and this was played for laughs. (No, seriously.) Calibrated against that, Joe running around making kissy noises at college hos (yes, that was the “joke” in the title) barely even registers on the terriblometer.
I have trouble sometimes believing that the David Willis who wrote that is the same David Willis who’s writing DoA. Maybe Roomies! Willis got abducted by aliens and replaced by a pod person infiltrator with the mission to prepare the Earth for the alien takeover by manipulating our media. If so, I, for one, welcome our new alien webcomic artists. (This might also explain his inhuman buffer.)
Well, “always respectful” wasn’t qualified with “insofar as anyone in Roomies! was a decent human being”, so…
There’s a reason I qualified mine!
I did not see yours!
Or maybe he just grew up!
I want to say that it takes guts to put your “juvenalia” (which was safely off the internet in print history’s cobwebbed storage room of college comics) onto the internet at all, let alone linked to your uber-popular new strips in which the same characters appear. But I’m so glad I can read the backstory/counterstory! Thanks, Willis!
Yeah, Joe’s pretty much always been cool like that. Always asking for a yes, but always willing to accept a no with good grace.
Except early in Roomies!, but everyone was terrible early in Roomies!. Joyce’s “personality” back then was “obsessive stalker”, Sarah didn’t even have that much, and Danny was Danny. And the rest of the cast had yet to be introduced.
agreeeeeee so much! joe is a-ok!
SHE’S SO CUTE.
Joyce brings everyone together. To laugh at her.
Joyce failed at cursing. Let’s all point and laugh at her humiliation.
A dude backing off…huh. I was expecting a PePe Le Pew.
So the trick would be to Douse Sarah in water and have her chase after him.
This is the story where people try to pay Joyce to swear, isn’t it?
Willis should totally do that for real. Like, make expansions to her vocabulary stretch goals on the next Kickstarter.
Willis puts a stretch goal that Joyce will use words like “Damn” and “Hell” in the comic. When it’s met, she only uses them in a religious context.
She’s already done that.
I do really quite desperately want that to be an actual storyline. Here’s hoping.
Let it out, Sarah. It’s probably been a geological eon since you’ve laughed that hard.
Eh, just five days ago: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/needle/
…Oh yeah. Durn webcomic time.
What is that in dog years?
*consults Florence Ambrose*
Looks like a little over three years.
Thank you, Willis! Now we know why Sarah likes Joyce: she’s the only one who can make Sarah laugh.
I feel bad for Joe. Who isn’t turned on by Sarah’s RAGE?
Actually..I have no answer to that question.
Certainly not I.
The deceased.
I’m not. >_>
Meh! Not aroused by constantly angry women.
fuck you ha ha!
its’s okay Joyce the important thing is that their laughing at you and not with you.
Watch out guys, we’re dealing with a Bad Joyce over here.
She’s gonna rip her tap soon enough to show 4 inches below her belly button!!!!
This set of strips at the cafeteria continues to provide the best facial reactions ever.
In fact, I’ll just go ahead and say that these are the funniest DoA strips we’ve had so far.
Well, Joyce took a situation full of anger and frustration, and turned it into a moment of humor and joy for all involved (at least for the moment)!
While unintentional, that’s very impressive!
And paved the way for the SS Jorah to set sail!
If Joyce ever curses in this ‘verse, I’m pretty sure she’ll break the universe.
And then a talking crow would go “YOU FOOLS! YOU MESSED WITH THE NATURAL ORDER!” as the universe deletes itself.
Suddenly Joyce, Joe, and Sarah are Powerpuff Girls.
And Dina becomes Samurai Jack! (only because Ninja Rick is not a main character here)
With Galasso becomes AKU! WITH GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS!
…goddammit now I’m even sadder Mako’s dead. If anyone should’ve voiced Galasso in an animated adaptation…
WAIT! wait. wait. Mako as in General Iroh?! Holy crap he was even awesomer than I knew!
Yeah, I don’t know my VAs that well
inDEED!
With Walky being Professor Utonium.
The final strip of the comic will be Joyce shouting the F-word into the heavens.
From her motorcycle.
With Dorothy riding B-word.
Hasa diga eebowai!
…and Joyce’s swear jar remains coinless.
It’s already died of neglect.
Jar-jar can die of neglect, jars not so much.
But Jar-Jar is the Christ figure of the Star Wars universe! He’s plot-critical!
(If I had the link, I’d link the parody animation.)
Joyce has the eyes of a white walker.
Good God I read that as ‘white walken’ and was completely confused. “What does Christopher Walken have to do with it?”
Time to back away from the monitor.
Well … the name kind of explains it all, no?
I snorted. Ow! My nose! Damn you Willis!
I think you mean, “Darn you, Willis”.
So have I missed something ? I know Joyce and Joe had a bad date, but I don’t get this extreme anger coming towards him
He’s a no-good poop-brain who only thinks with his thingie, and all about pre-marital hanky panky.
And so mike and her punched the ever loving poop out of him.
I’m actually more confused about the protectiveness towards Sarah in particular, and why she’s so mad. Does she have some kind of history I’ve forgotten about?
When Joyce got roofied at the party it was Sarah who designated herself as Joyce’s guardian angel and used her Louisville Slugger to turn the would-be molester into a ground-rule double. Joyce is merely returning the favor — not that Sarah needs the help…..
So she doesn’t recognize the difference between that and what Joe is doing?
Okay, that explains Joyce, what about Sarah?
Sarah’s very protective of Joyce, probably still annoyed at Joe over the conversation they had before the date… and remember that, unlike us, Sarah didn’t see what happened on the date, so her perception is filtered entirely through Joyce. And if Joyce has ever confessed that she hired a guy to punch Joe in the face, we haven’t seen it.
She’s shown a tendency to get mad when she thinks somebody has forgotten their place.
Joyce had issues with sexuality and lust to begin with. Since then she was almost raped and is now dating a self-hating gay guy willingly since he’ll never put the moves on her. She’s not the most stable person.
Right. She has her issues, so she’s not seeing the difference between Joe’s constant horndogness and the sexual predator she had a run-in with.
Like the day after, when she flipped out on Joe while she was on the phone.
“Gosh darn it!”
“Heck!!”
Not sure how I should feel about “NEW” Joyce…
I’d prefer Pre-Crisis Joyce.
Classic Joyce never swore either.
I can actually categorically prove the proof of this statement, using the classic site’s dialogue search engine. See, in It’s Walky! and related properties, swears were either grawlixed out or scribbled over, so you can find any swear words by searching for “#”. You can also find when a certain character found a certain thing by typing “name :” before the dialogue you’re searching for.
Now, when I plug in “joyce : #”, absolutely no results come up at all. Therefore, today’s comic does not in fact indicate any change to Joyce’s personality cross-dimensionally.
Aw, you used a search engine? And here I thought you just knew that with certainty off the top of your head!
I do, doesn’t mean I don’t double-check my facts before making an assertion. And I figured “I know off the top of my head that Joyce never swore in the old universe” wouldn’t be a very persuasive argument, because c’mon, that’s kinda crazy.
Doesn’t seem crazy to me.
Of course, I’m the guy who went through and counted how many times each of the DoA characters has said “fuck” to date.
I was ok with her until this particular moment. Her anger at Joe strikes me as not only being all out of proportion to the situation, but extremely unfair given that Joe is reacting so well to being shot down in such an aggressive manor and not at all being a jerk. Joyce’s rant really put me off her. In Joe’s place, I’d have told her that Sarah is a big girl who can take care of herself and that Joyce needs to mind her own business and grow the hell up. I don’t know why, but that third panel really hit me wrong.
I feel a bit of this too. It’s unnecessary and overkill on Joyce’s part – which is part of why they find it funny, though if she’d used actual swearwords they’d probably be a little more bothered by it.
They being Sarah et al, not readers.
Cuteness overload! Dorothy may go down along with Joes.
I sense that Joyce is really trying not to be adorable when she’s angry and threatening. The fact that she’s failing completely somehow just makes it even cuter.
Why is incompetence so cute? Why are we endeared to it. Is it because babies are cute and they’re the most incompetent things of all?
Yotomoe, the hell are you talking about? Babies have conned the whole world into attending to their every whim whenever they desire. There are kings of vast empires that have less power than a two week old baby.
While I will agree about Joyce in general, in this case it is cute because Joyce is completely unable to break out of her shell even when she is trying.
If it helps, people find being laughed at worse than mere failure. Sometimes they find it worse than contempt since they couldn’t even rise to that level.
Ding dang ratter-fratter habber-stabbin rassa frakin’ rabbit.
@#$%^$%$#%!@##@#%#$%^$%#$@%@#%$^%$^$%^&$^&$!
WHAT THE FOX SAY
Nothing…he doesn’t have to say anything!!!
Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon.
“Little princeling, why do you weep?“
He says a lotta stuff. Hear for yourself.
The finest call in nature.
The fox better keep his fool mouth shut if he knows what’s good for ‘im.
Whoa, whoa! Willis, this comic is supposed to be family friendly! Don’t have so much cursing!
oh joyce your about as threatening as a kitten
Dude, cats can ruin your life.
And LOLcatz can ruin the internet. You know, even more after porn did.
If by ruin, you mean save.
Wait, which one?
LOLcatz or porn?
Porn
lolcatz is the worst thing to happen to the internet imo
THEY WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP! Cats are EVIL!!!
Look at joyce, trying so hard. She’s like a chihuahua trying to be vicious.
And, now after reading the comments I see someone beat me to it, by a while. Oh well..
It’s safe to say that Malcolm Tucker’s title as the F-cluster champion will remain intact.
Joe acting practically chivalrous?
Joyce trying to swear?
Sarah laughing (grimacing)?
It was a good day.
IN OPPOSITE LAND.
I proudly await tomorrow’s strip in which Mary compliments someone and then smiles.
And Danny is the best character.
And Dina is a socialite.
And Walky turns down tacos.
And Sal gets a math question right.
Joe and Roz take a mutual vow of abstinence.
Mike helps people without any ulterior motive.
Galasso succeeds in conquering the world.
My first glance caused me to read that as “scrote-a-lite.”
No, I don’t know why.
Yes, that’s probably indicative of severe problems.
Eww.
To be fair, Joe’s never been other than this in regards to his pursuits. He’ll make a pass at anyone, but we got a look into old-Joe’s thought process in a FAANS! crossover a few years back. Seduction isn’t a fight, in his mind, it’s a mutually enjoyable game for two.
Joyce meltdown is comedy gold.
Sarah: “Oh my god this actually made me bite my lip”
(points to whoever knows the correct followup)
*stammers, gets up, falls out of bed* “Yes, sir!!”
Count on Joyce to defuse the tension.
I have a strong urge to pet Joyce.
Or kiss the top of her head.
My god I cant take it anymore she to much I coughed up my root bear because of her
I think you should get that checked out. I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure it’s not healthy to have bears crawling around in your throat.
I don’t even know what a root bear is, but it can’t be good if the little guy’s living in your throat. There’s no roots in there!!
that lightened the mood
omg how totally adorable
Dina is more scary than you, Joyce. As is Riley.
Joyce could totally be an 8
Not sure why but I want either Tara strong or Cristina Vee to voice joyce just for those lines.
Emma Stone, hands down.
Such language, Joyce! :O
omg joyce
with a vocabulary like the she should just stare angrily instead open opening her mouth and ruining it with her aversion to swearing
Fucking righteous, Sarah. Goddamn. I want to give you a high-five for NOT being at all charmed by Joe.
Literally Rofl at this panel.
Joyce you’re trying, but you did give it a shot, and missed by a mile.
The fact that everyone in the room is trying not to fall off their chairs didn’t help me keep a straight face, at all.
I see it as a step forward for her, she never would have spoken up like that last year (yesterday DOA time). She only exploded when ‘mariitial hanky panky’ was suspected.
I may be the only one here who finds Joyce’s outburst disturbing rather than amusing. Yes, her non-cursing makes her sound stupid, but it’s a think veneer of stupid over the very real rage she’s showing. And this is the girl who required no prompting to resort to physical violence.
Yes I know it won’t happen because this is a happy friendly comic, but the usually-nice Joyce strikes me as somebody who has very little self-control when she decides to snap.
Please explain how one can “snap” and not lose self control?
The move classic way is when you stand over your quailing victim with your beating’ hand raised and shaking, but don’t actually start pounding because that would get you a worse rating. Your gear slips a few notches, but doesn’t start spinning freely.
We’ve seen actual proof that Joyce not only doesn’t hold back the pounding, but she doesn’t regret it afterwards. To me that side of her is a bit disturbing.
I’m not sure I would define that as a “snap”.
I’m pretty sure Joyce did
regret it afterwards.
And then I clicked next and she was fuming again. Seems less like regret about being violent than regret that her date ended poorly and awkwardly.
This seems to me to be a very intentional and integral part of her character. The thin veneer of a repressed homeschool fundie over a boiling pit of rage provides great opportunities for conflict/drama with others as well as herself. So much potential for character development with how and where she directs that rage. Considering Joyce is Willis’ personal autobiographical avatar I imagine it provides some catharsis telling how she deals with it. Then again I could be talking out my arse.
Also “this is a happy friendly comic”…
… I recommend you familiarise yourself with the phrase “damn you Willis!”
I considered laying the irony on thicker to make it clear, but decided it would be distracting.
No, I’m right there with you. That is a really disproportionate amount of rage considering Joe’s “crime”. My personal theory is that her aversion to Joe is a cocktail of lust for him, jealousy of him (the same way she’s jealous of Walky/Dorothy), and good ol’ self-righteous repulsion.
But then I read another commentor’s theory that maybe she can’t distinguish between Joe’s horndog-ing and that dude who assualted her. Which makes sense to me.
But yeah, girl has a lot of rage to sort through.
PREEEE MAAAARRRIIIIITAAAAALLLLL HAAAAANNNKYYY PAAAAAAANNNNKYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I agree. The levels of anger from Joyce seems quite out of line with that of any reasonable person. One has to wonder why the cast remains friends at all due to their inability to be able to actually be nice to one another for longer than a single day. Perhaps they are all so damaged that all of their other peers have since ostracized them due to their unrelenting rage issues (deserved or not). I can just imagine sitting at another table near them and hearing their exchanges with one another day after day. Definitely would have me warning others away from this disturbed group of children.
Though to be fair this is a therapists utopia. Much money to be made on a long term basis.
Part of what makes it so funny I think is just that it doesn’t make any sense on the surface. She’s not willing to swear, but it’s OK to pummel him. Looking at it a little more closely though it does start to make sense within her moral grounds. If there is ever a time for justified violence in the eyes of Joyce’s God, it makes sense to me at least that defending someone from being dragged off to be raped would be on the list.
I think the reason she reacted so strongly here though probably has to do with her own nearly raped experience. She’s saying if you don’t back off of Sarah who is clearly not interested, I will fight. Jumping to the conclusion that Joe might rape Sarah could be a result of what happened to her as well.
Except she was just as likely to justify and use violence before the rape attempt. To Joe she just seems insane.
I didn’t find it amusing. It made me dislike her a little bit. I think it’s the unfairness of it. Both Sarah and Joyce act like Joe’s done something terrible by being interested in Sarah. He didn’t press when Sarah made it obvious she wasn’t interested and he wasn’t a jerk about it either, despite the aggro shut down he got. He didn’t deserve Joyce’s BS.
I think it is because we have seen that Joe’s goal in college is to collect notches on his bedpost; Dorothy and Sarah both know this and find this repulsive for varying reasons — Joyce because of her upbringing and Sarah because it is counter to what she is in school for. Remember, according to the storyline she narked out her previous roommate for being too much of a party girl. Sarah’s reaction under those circumstances seems appropriate for the situation.
OTOH Joyce seems to be over-reacting precisely because she has been displaying so much self-control. She is like the Mythbusters water heater with the disabled safety valve; the pressure of her moral outrage has been building over the past four weeks of in-comic time. And just like the water heater, when she finally blows it is going to be spectacular!
That’s not why Sarah narced on Dana, at least according to Storytime With Aunt Sarah.
You’re right — I had forgotten what pushed Dana over the edge from casual toker to full-time stoner. But the end result was the same; it was causing Sarah’s grades to fall and possibly jeopardizing her scholarship.
I’m not seeing how Joe’s hobby is counter to Sarah’s goals for school. Sure she’s not here for sex, but unless Joe’s sex compromises her grades I don’t see why she’d care one way or the other.
Have we seen her get ragey about Joe and his sexuality on any previous instance?
I think her problem is she’s tried to sidestep his advances before and it’s just sorta fueled his interest. In her mind, this is the only way to make him back off.
Actually Joyce was prompted to physical violence – Joe was looking at another woman on their “date”.
Not that I find it excusable, but it was a combination of possessiveness, jealousy, and her mixed up belief’s about sex and lust.
Now add to her unresolved almost rape fears and the fact that she is somewhat of a virtuous slut – also unresolved – and you have an outburst.
Joyce is so cute when she rages.
Poopieface!
PoopieFAAAAAACE!
Reminds me, actually, of the story about Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), who reportedly had a rather salty vocabulary, and his wife Olivia, who did not appreciate it. Clemens tried to keep watch on his tongue when she was close by; but one day something irritated him and, thinking his wife could not hear, he launched into a torrent of red-hot profanity. When he entered his wife’s room a short time later, she coolly repeated word-for-word everything he had said.
“Livy,” he replied, astounded yet amused, “did it sound like that?”
“Of course it did,” she said, “only worse. I wanted you to hear just how it sounded.”
“Livy, it would pain me to think that when I swear it sounds like that. You got the words right but you don’t know the tune.”
Which is why it’s just about as satisfying to swear in a completely different language to your own even if you only know that a word is “bad” rather than its true meaning, so long as the sounds are correct. It’s not about the word, it’s all about the emphasis.
Oh sweet heaven above, Sarah’s face cracked! Someone fix her faaaccceee!
…and from then on, everyone was (platonic) friends, their previously positively-reinforcing emnity shattered in one fell swoop by the ludicrous awkwardness of the situation?
Whoa there. That’s actually pretty threatening coming from Joyce.
Oh God, the look on Joe’s face.
On everyone’s face.
on everyone’s faaaaaaaaaaaace
My brother is more mature than Joyce, and he’s ten
Ummm do you mean ‘swears better’ in place of mature? Joyce is at least somewhat mature. And is still dealing w/issues. Frankly Joyce seems to fit my memories of how I was at 18 and totally fits w/college freshmen I’ve met since.
You don’t have to swear to express your displeasure with someone. You also don’t have to call them a poopieface.
Joyce is mature in some ways – but a lot of that is merely acting on programming. She is immature in other ways, more than many freshmen.
She certainly expects to be coddled and babied. Even as the baby of HER family, the message would have been sent a few times in the last couple of (comic strip time) weeks.
You know, the way Billie has had to deal with the fact that she isn’t a cheerleader any more and what she or her family was in high school doesn’t matter.
Oh poop, it’s on now motherfudger!
Fudge yeah, Joyce!
Aw, she’s trying so hard!
I have a favorite Joyce moment now, and this is it.
The way my mother explained it to me, any word you use to replace a swear word is the same as using the swear word because it means the same thing.
George Carlin: “Because that’s what they taught us! It’s what’s in your mind that counts! Your intentions! That’s how we’ll judge you – what you want to do! Mortal sin: had to be a grievous offense, sufficient reflection, and full consent of the will. You had to wanna!”
Might as well have used the actual words, Joyce. God knows what you meant!!
This is exactly the way I was taught, too!
That’s true, but if nothing else people are good at rationalizing how what they do doesn’t count.
In that family, the way they are brought up, Joyce would never think of it.
Being adorable when angry is counterproductive.
Oh, Joyce, nobody will ever take you seriously if you insist on fake-swearing. That’s one of those things where you need to go all-in or just not bother. Now go read some Warren Ellis or Garth Ennis comics and try again later.
Really Joe? “Harness” that energy? Sigh … 10 points for apologizing and backing off, but 5 points off for the harness line.
Joe just wants to use Sarah’s emotions to go rock climbing. Is that so wrong?
He wants to put in Danny.
That last panel… they’re all so CUTE!
AhHHHHHHHHHHHHH
~friendship~
The emotion that is friendship
Hahaha! I love how they’re all trying not to bust out laughing.
I don’t curse so this is literally me trying to insult someone.
Aw, isn’t she the cutest?
to quote Stewie Griffin ‘It’s like she’s f#^%ing 5!!’ baaaahahahahaha
Poor Joe. Seriously…
People with multiple un-addressed hangups are not easy to deal with.
Okay I’m laughing so hard right now. That’s adorable and I just want to pat her head. I used to want to pair Joe and Joyce, but now I see them more like brother and sister.
Also Joe and Sarah? Jorah? HELL YES!
she is so fricken adorbs I love it
Joyce is really becoming one bad-butt melon-farmer
Sarah may not be on Joe’s menu, but I’m sure she just made his home cooking grocery list.
He just needs to warm her up (a LOT) before serving.
“Poopieface?” “Fudge you up?” “Dang?” “A-Hole?” Poor Joyce, with those epithets you’ve just blown your chance at salvation so you might as well see to to Joe.
She said neigh.
I never drew the correlation between Dumbiverse Joyce and a friend of mine until just now
This is why Joyce is my favorite character.
And bam, global aggressivity defused ! (save for one)
I think I’m also one of those people who will never swear IRL. I only do it on the internet on exclusive occasions.