Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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oh boy, amber's collected a new red flashback panel
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May 12, 2026

Happy

by David M Willis on December 17, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: amber, ethan, joyce, sarah

Discussion (377) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    December 17, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    (regarding alt-text)
    She must have nearly the whole set by now.

    • JustDucky
      JustDucky
      December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      For anyone on a phone or tablet, the alt text is: oh boy, amber’s collected a new red flashback panel

      • Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        December 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        If Willis gives us another one, I Swear to Cheese, I will go to where he lives, and sit outside his house just crying for days and days on end asking “why?” And he’ll just laugh and say, “the tag came pre-pulled, you knew the risks.” Please though. Not another one. We already have father issues and heartbreak. If he have another I don’t know how it’ll get worse

        • rachel
          rachel
          December 17, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

          OHIO CRY-IN, LET’S DO THIS

          seriously this strip makes me cry

          GOD DAMN YOU, WILLIS.

        • aipom45
          aipom45
          December 17, 2013 at 5:28 pm | #

          Seriously Willis. I cry every time.

        • Nightsbridge
          Nightsbridge
          December 17, 2013 at 11:47 pm | #

          Her father is still in town.

      • Tachyon
        Tachyon
        December 17, 2013 at 2:24 am | #

        It’s funny, because only half of it is red.

      • KevinGriffin3CD
        KevinGriffin3CD
        December 17, 2013 at 5:14 am | #

        Actually, you can read the alt-text on your iPhone (and I’m assuming iPad) by clicking on the empty space to the right of the “Next/Latest” buttons.

        Pretty neat-o.

        • Lieutenant Dan
          Lieutenant Dan
          December 17, 2013 at 6:22 am | #

          Well, son of a Joe! Will you lookit that!

        • creatorx2
          creatorx2
          December 17, 2013 at 7:29 am | #

          Holy balls it’s BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU

        • Curacaobill
          Curacaobill
          December 17, 2013 at 9:16 am | #

          Thank you!

        • JustDucky
          JustDucky
          December 17, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

          Cool! Works on android devices, too. ^^

        • saltchocolate
          saltchocolate
          December 17, 2013 at 10:19 am | #

          KevinGriffin3CD, you are my hero.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          December 17, 2013 at 10:59 am | #

          Depends on which browser app you’re using. I only ever got that functionality on my phone once I started using Firefox. The default Android browser and Chrome both failed me.

          (Firefox also seems to be the only mobile browser I’ve found that’ll show animated gifs anyhow…)

          • sps48
            sps48
            December 17, 2013 at 9:29 pm | #

            Well, Firefox does totally rule. Especially with the regular plugins.

        • Kladeos
          Kladeos
          December 17, 2013 at 4:02 pm | #

          Thank you!

        • ProjectXa3
          ProjectXa3
          December 17, 2013 at 10:58 pm | #

          THANK.
          YOU.
          SO.
          MUCH.

    • Guest Person Dude
      Guest Person Dude
      December 17, 2013 at 2:59 am | #

      Fear destroys relationships. When we doubt ourselves, we can fail to say certain things, or do certain things, and it can harm our chances at happiness – but worst of all is when we act out of fear.
      This is when we do the most damage to our life. Amber is afraid, and she needs someone to help take that fear away.

      • Usayasha
        Usayasha
        December 17, 2013 at 7:27 am | #

        I think that’s incorrect. Not that she feels fear, but that she needs someone to take it away from her. Personal emotional growth is best done on one’s own, and depending on another in order to gain something that you do not have is how many relationships go sour, or are doomed from the get go. Long term relationships, that is.

        • Aeyt
          Aeyt
          December 17, 2013 at 10:44 am | #

          I feel that the best way would be a healthy combination of those two things. You must learn to deal with it as an individual, and gain that strength through growth on your own. Having a partner that will support you in your struggle by listening and giving love when you need it, but not solving the problem for you, makes it more bearable, and feel less unmanageable. It can be a fine line between healthy and codependent however.

          • rachel
            rachel
            December 17, 2013 at 10:14 pm | #

            yeah, I mean, I finally got really pretty emotionally healthy when I met my now husband! no man is an island, and it isn’t that you need someone else to get there, but shit if having a rad-ass partner doesn’t help!

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        December 17, 2013 at 11:03 am | #

        You know Amber’s completely doomed when the person she needs most is DANNY.

        • Jordan
          Jordan
          December 17, 2013 at 11:39 pm | #

          I know, right? I don’t want to hate on a character, but he makes it so damn easy. When he says his best feature is his availability, he wasn’t kidding. Otherwise he’s just so bland as a character, at least in this comic (I’m guessing that he’s better in Roomies). He’s completely defined by whoever he’s dating and if he isn’t dating he’s desperately searching for someone. His “dating” Amazigirl just makes it worse, since it keeps him from interacting normally with any girl, even the girl he’s sort of dating! The only time we get to see any other side to him is when he’s with Joe and Joe is about the only guy who’s more simplistic than Danny! Not that I dislike Joe, he’s just not annoying to me like Danny.

    • Andrusi
      Andrusi
      December 17, 2013 at 8:55 am | #

      To train them is her cause.

  2. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    December 17, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    “And that’s why I’m now with Joyce, ’cause I don’t give a shit about her.”

    • OnarReshana
      OnarReshana
      December 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      huh…that really is what he’s implying, isn’t it…

      • Tom T.
        Tom T.
        December 17, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        Not at all. Ethan staying with Amber wouldn’t have made Amber happy. Ethan staying with Joyce does make Joyce happy.

        • Renee
          Renee
          December 17, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          No, Ethan makes Joyce “happy”. At some level, she knows the difference.

          • Charles RB
            Charles RB
            December 17, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

            He can be what she needs: someone who’ll never require her to make intimate physical contact. (Until one of them inevitably wants that)

            • Intie
              Intie
              December 17, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

              No. What Joyce needs is a man who won’t require hanky panky until the wedding. And Ethan is not marrying her ever.

              • kagato23
                kagato23
                December 17, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

                Oh based on current Ethan’s idiocy he just might.

                He wants to live the straight life through, don’t forget.

                Eventually that means shaking up with a girl.

                Now will Willis actually let him stay stupid long enough for that to happen? No. But it’s not like in other universes he hasn’t stayed with a girl for far too long.

                Of course, the problem is Joyce is thinking she’ll eventually convert him and then they can get married and then she can have her perverse sexual lusts be okay, and Ethan is hoping to fake it till he makes it and somehow have that work out. It’d fall apart pretty fast after marriage.

                But for now, their stupid little arrangement works as well in practice as it does on paper. (For now being a key word)

                • davesignal
                  davesignal
                  December 17, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

                  Or maybe Joyce’ll just buy a strap-on and the wonderful world of pegging will save their marriage.

                • Khrene Cleaver
                  Khrene Cleaver
                  December 17, 2013 at 4:35 am | #

                  Yeah, thats exactly the same thing Amber went through and look how that ended. Saying this is (relatively) a good idea just cause it works until the something like some form of commitment inevitably happens, is just like saying Amber and Ethan’s relationship works up until their Prom Night.

                  Shes hurt and confused, but objectively speaking she trying to stop a loved one from hurting someone in the same way he hurt her. Not to mention she wans to set that person up to accept who he is and stop letting himself be objectified and defined by others, which are the core reasons why bullying and abusive relationships, are so psychologically damaging.

                  Of course on a level shes in ot for herself and o protect her own pride, and I’m for Ethan getting into whatever mess he wants to make, but A) its a little messed up to have someone fight fot you and to not even give being gay a shot, and B) hes gonna hurt someone else (Joyce) in the process

                • Raye J
                  Raye J
                  December 17, 2013 at 5:51 am | #

                  Joyce feels safe with Ethan, because she knows he’ll never pressure her for sex, and also she can talk about temptation with him and then there won’t be all that sexual tension during the conversation, which is what likely would happen if she was with a straight guy. Plus y’know that there’s the religious angle, because turning a gay guy straight would be MAJOR Jesus brownie points.
                  And Ethan seems like he REALLY doesn’t want to be gay. He knows he is, and that it’s not gonna change, but he’s more comfortable pushing that to the side and ignoring it. Thinking things like “Well, maybe if I stay with her long enough I’ll fall for her” Unfortunately, being gay doesn’t work like that. I speak from experience.

                • Kladeos
                  Kladeos
                  December 17, 2013 at 4:10 pm | #

                  Davesignal…

                  Just no. That is not how sexual orientation works.

            • Jack Finch
              Jack Finch
              December 17, 2013 at 3:28 pm | #

              Right on Charles RB. He’s willing to let Joyce get as attached as circumstances dictate, and when her need for intimacy pops up BAM! “Oh Joyce I love you too much to pretend”. Ethan needs a crash course in DBAD.

          • Oresthin
            Oresthin
            December 17, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

            The real question is: does Ethan?

        • newllend
          newllend
          December 17, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

          For the moment.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Noone gives a shit about Joyce.
      Or Danny.

      • Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        Danny’s alright

        • newllend
          newllend
          December 17, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

          Ya he’s just really really stupid when it comes to girl problems

        • disasterosaur
          disasterosaur
          December 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

          That ol’ Deej. He’s a good egg.

      • Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        Even Danny couldnt give two shits about Joyce, BUT joe does. Platonically surprisingly, joe does

        • newllend
          newllend
          December 17, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

          Give it up that ship aint EVER happening

          • Zabet
            Zabet
            December 17, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

            Eh. They say anything possible, but whether we like that ship or not, it’s pretty much 99.99% impossible.

            Platonic friendship, though? Between two characters with two very different view on certain topics? Heck yeah.

            • John
              John
              December 17, 2013 at 11:23 pm | #

              I actually seriously think Joyce/Joe is a likely endgame ship here. Not any time soon, but I think it’s entirely possible that a ways down the road – when Joyce has figured out that she doesn’t need to be afraid of sex, and in fact enjoys it an awful lot, and Joe gets tired of empty encounters with women he doesn’t remember afterwards and starts looking around for someone he actually cares about – they’ll meet in the middle.

              And the President of the United States will be the maid of honor, and Jacob will be the best man. Because Danny’s never the best anything.

              • Archivist
                Archivist
                December 19, 2013 at 1:45 pm | #

                Which is a shame, because it would be funnier to say the president’s ex-boyfriend was the best man.

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          December 17, 2013 at 3:31 pm | #

          Yeah. Joe’s a horndog but the little openings to his heart go all the way in.

    • SUGauthor
      SUGauthor
      December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Well, she is the only girl I can think of who would take “repulsive” as a compliment.

    • Seerow
      Seerow
      December 17, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      I read it as more that Amber was obviously interested in a sexual relationship, while Joyce is deliberately trying to avoid that. If all Amber wanted was someone to go get lunch with, he could do that for her, but that wasn’t going to be enough, so things were going to be really awkward regardless.

      • TheOthin
        TheOthin
        December 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Joyce has said she’s happy to have their current arrangements, after all.

        • Ghola
          Ghola
          December 17, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

          Joyce still has some PTSD from the whole “Roofie guy” thing too. So it’s both her upbringing telling her premarital hanky panky is bad, but her brain is all “AAAAHHH PENIS!! ALERT! ATTACK FORMATION DELTA TANGO! NEED STRONG BLACK WOMAN WITH A BAT!”

      • Aischylos
        Aischylos
        December 17, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

        Is it really what Joyce wants though? I mean, I’m having flashbacks of her sex dream, in which she was trying to repress her wanting to have sex with Ethan.

        • kagato23
          kagato23
          December 17, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

          Don’t forget though, Joyce actively wants to fight that impulse (Until marriage). If she had a guy she liked who was trying to push her into sex… well… best not to ever have that temptation in the first place.

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          December 17, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

          Joyce lusts and has some desire for sex. She is also scared of it.
          The reason she tried dating two guys outside of her faith and didn’t ever consider Sarah’s warning about Joe is because Joyce lusts very shallowly.

    • Jon P
      Jon P
      December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Joyce doesn’t particularly look happy in the final frame. Kinda giving Ethan the side-eye as far as one can tell in the zoom out.

      • saltchocolate
        saltchocolate
        December 17, 2013 at 10:22 am | #

        Right!?!

        Joyce: “You love *her* more than *anyone*? And I’ve never even heard her name pass your lips?”

        Because praying the gay away is one thing. Praying an ex-girlfriend away is another.

    • torstu
      torstu
      December 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      It isn’t because he doesn’t care about Joyce, it’s because his relationship with Amber was built on a lie. Ethan’s already come out to Joyce, and they both know (if not completely, at least somewhat) what they expect of each other.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 17, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

        Ethan was forced to come out to Joyce. No indication he was going to give up the lie. Mike would keep prodding him, Sarah would know, Jocelyn would know, but no sign he was ever going to come clean.

        • torstu
          torstu
          December 17, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

          Well, he still told her, even if it wasn’t his idea to do so, and she still wanted a relationship with him. The end result was the same, even if it wasn’t his idea to tell her in the first place.

  3. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    MY PEOPLE NEED ME!

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Is it time for dungeon crawling already? Time sure does fly.

  4. GoldStarz
    GoldStarz
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    I think in this universe caring about someone always destroys some aspect of your life.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      DoA obeys the Law of Conservation of Drama.

      • GoldStarz
        GoldStarz
        December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Drama’s being conserved here?

        • Seerow
          Seerow
          December 17, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

          It’s being conserved so that what is saved can be used elsewhere in the comic. Efficiency in all things!

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          December 17, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

          Drama cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed from one state to another.

          • Ourorboros
            Ourorboros
            December 17, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

            Teenagers seem to be a source of infinite drama, as are crazy SO’s.

            • Mr. Bulbmin
              Mr. Bulbmin
              December 17, 2013 at 3:20 am | #

              Ah!
              Teenagers don’t necessarily create drama. Similar to a magnifying glass, they amplify that which already exists. Use a magnifying glass in a dark room and you still see nothing.

      • Jack Finch
        Jack Finch
        December 17, 2013 at 3:38 pm | #

        Only true if DoA is a closed drama system. Local departure from conservation and other dramodynamic laws for closed-pathos systems can occur here.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      I myself am suspending my crime fighting for the arc.

    • StClair
      StClair
      December 17, 2013 at 2:26 am | #

      Willis studied at the feet of Joss Whedon.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        December 17, 2013 at 2:43 pm | #

        Then how come his comics haven’t been abruptly cancelled after one or two seasons?

        • Jordan
          Jordan
          December 17, 2013 at 11:52 pm | #

          He hasn’t needed to deal with Fox.

  5. Ourorboros
    Ourorboros
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    So rejection did happen unclothed.
    So why could Ethan be what Joyce will eventually need?

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      December 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Because he doesn’t wanna bang, but he DOES want to put up with her wingnut parents…?

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        We all dream of in-laws like that.

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          December 17, 2013 at 3:39 pm | #

          From personal experience the only thing that really counteracts in-laws is plenty of sex afterwards.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      No, they’re both still clearly clothed. It’s the exact same panel as the one we discussed before. His shirt is kind of open but it’s still on and she’s still in her dress.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Which I was unable to find. I took the blue as a bra.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 17, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          It’s from the strip where she’s crying in the hall while hiding from her dad before she puts on her mask to make herself feel better.

          • Ourorboros
            Ourorboros
            December 17, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

            Ah, will check later.

          • Ourorboros
            Ourorboros
            December 17, 2013 at 1:55 am | #

            Found it. Like I said, I took the blue as a bra.
            My larger point still stands, that the moment of discovery was at a moment that would make her question her desirability as a woman.

            It turns out a Google search shows there is no word that is the exact female equivalent of ’emasclate’, given the word’s origins. Many have tried, no direct answer.

            • pumpkincat
              pumpkincat
              December 17, 2013 at 2:10 am | #

              I would probably go with Lady MacBeth’s infamous line:
              Come, you spirits
              That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here,
              And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full
              Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
              Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
              That no compunctious visitings of nature
              Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
              The effect and it! Come to my woman’s breasts,
              And take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers,
              Wherever in your sightless substances
              You wait on nature’s mischief! Come, thick night,
              And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell,
              That my keen knife see not the wound it makes,
              Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark,
              To cry ‘Hold, hold!’

              While Amber’s intentions are good, her actions in the wake of Ethaning(tm Willis) seem pretty on par with this.

              • pumpkincat
                pumpkincat
                December 17, 2013 at 2:14 am | #

                Of course, Amber does seem to be feeling remorse. Well. She’s feeling SOMETHING. I think it’s remorse though. She really does hate it when she acts in any way which reminds her of her dad.

                • Ourorboros
                  Ourorboros
                  December 17, 2013 at 3:24 am | #

                  While Amber didn’t act entirely right, I don’t think she has a lot to be remorseful for. She was mistaken about some things, but acted out of love. Ethan didn’t exactly communicate this stuff to her either. He would have kept it hidden, it just took all this for it all to come out.
                  But her world just came crashing down on her again.

        • Bill
          Bill
          December 17, 2013 at 4:00 am | #

          Speaking of Amber’s flashback while sitting in the stairwell — remember that this was less than 24 hours ago in the Dumbiverse timeline.  Between her own issues over stringing Danny along (as Amazi-Girl), the conflict with her father, and this train wreck we’ve been watching unfold, it’s been one hell of a weekend for that girl.

          • John
            John
            December 17, 2013 at 12:25 pm | #

            And by “stringing Danny along”, you mean “trying to make Danny’s fantasy come true while establishing a real relationship with him, only to have her efforts thrown back in her face because he’s too fucking stupid to catch on”.

            Plus fighting with Ethan’s mother again on this issue that Ethan himself won’t stand up on, having her own mother ditch her to bang Joe’s dad, and then Mike rubbing her face in her own issues.

            At least she got Mrs. Warner hugs.

            • Jordan
              Jordan
              December 17, 2013 at 11:55 pm | #

              Everyone wishes that they could run into someone like Mrs. Warner after shit like this. Now I wonder even more how an asshole like Mike could have come from someone like her. Though I suppose he tries to help in his own awful way…

    • wynne
      wynne
      December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      I think the difference is that with Amber it would have been pity dating (which is unfair to both parties). Amber wants and deserves a boyfriend who is attracted to her physically, and he knew he couldn’t provide that. With Joyce they’re both deluding themselves, but at least it’s mutual.

      Honestly, I have to agree with Ethan’s rationale here. He pulled the band-aid off quickly to save her a lot of eventual hurt.

    • Far
      Far
      December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      It’s obvious that neither Joyce nor Ethan are thinking that far ahead. Right now they both want someone who will understand and support their self-denial. If Joyce ever DOES want a healthy sexual relationship, presumably Ethan will break up with her too, but as far as he knows that is not going to happen any time soon.

      I’m not saying this is a good thing for them to do, and it is definitely short-sighted as all hell, but “girlfriend who I know I can’t make happy currently” is not the same situation as “girlfriend who I probably won’t be able to make happy at some undefined time in the future.”

  6. The Sound Defense
    The Sound Defense
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Now we’re seeing clearly that Amber has issues with controlling her anger. We saw it once in a justified setting, but now it’s a hell of a lot harder to say flipping that table and telling Joyce off was the right thing to do.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Yeah. But she, of all people, kinda understandable to have anger issues.

      • Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Yeah: genetics (unfortunately still play a factor), childhood, environmental factors; every psychological approach would say its understandable for her to have them

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      We knew she had anger issues before – the crime fighting was an outlet.
      There is a wide divide between justified and understandable – it is all entirely understandable.
      I won’t say telling Joyce off is all wrong. She is trying to convert Ethan and part of that is telling him that being gay is wrong, something she believes and her parents believe even more.

  7. RandomRedMage
    RandomRedMage
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Now would be a good time for her to actually talk to danny, as amazigirl and remove the mask… :/

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      It’s never a good time to talk to Danny.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        December 17, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        If I were having problems with self esteem, I’d go talk to Danny. I’m sure I’d walk away thinking “I could sure have it worse”.

        I think of Danny as basically being a grown up Charlie Brown. Just imagine him trying to kick a football and having it yanked away. “Auugh!”

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          If you have emotional problems and you talk to danny you might end up depressed then dead.

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          December 17, 2013 at 1:13 am | #

          Heh, if Danny was Charlie Brown, *then* I would hate him as much as everyone else seems to.

      • Red Robot
        Red Robot
        December 17, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        There are bad times to talk to Danny, and terrible times to talk to Danny. Right now he is bonding with Sal over Mario Kart, so it is a terrible, horrible no good time to talk to Danny. What are the odds of Willis allowing that to happen?

        • Taara
          Taara
          December 17, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

          I would say HIGH, HIGH, HIGH.

        • madock345
          madock345
          December 17, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

          I would say damn near close to 100%

        • kagato23
          kagato23
          December 17, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

          Talk to Danny? Poor odds.

          See Danny apparently having replaced her with a new gaming girl (and in her mind everything else)? GREAT ODDS

        • StClair
          StClair
          December 17, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

          What all of you said.

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          December 17, 2013 at 3:46 pm | #

          Odds are mixed. Willis knows that we’ll notice opportunities for him to drop the hammer. He will let many of these slide to keep us from getting habituated. Just enough to get us to relax before he lets his mystic Mjölnir of misery fly.

        • Jordan
          Jordan
          December 17, 2013 at 11:58 pm | #

          I’m guessing that will be the next thing that Amber sees. For some reason Willis appears to get off on making this girl miserable.

          Willis, I’m not claiming that you’re an awful person, just that the tears of orphans must taste like sweet sweet candy to you 🙂
          BTW, I love this comic.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      Are we back on the Danber wagon?

    • wynne
      wynne
      December 17, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Honestly I think she just needs a solid, non-romantically-threatening friend.

      We’ll see how Dina does.

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        December 17, 2013 at 1:04 am | #

        Non-romantically-threatening? I hope that’s not the case.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Losing Danny was a positive development.

    • Ongion
      Ongion
      December 17, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      But… now Danny is convinced that Salis Amazigirl…

      This may end poorly.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        December 17, 2013 at 2:47 pm | #

        That’s what will make it funny.

    • newllend
      newllend
      December 17, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

      Man he’s going to feel stupid after he spend the entire day with sap and its night time and he’s still then looks up and See’s amzi-girl jumping from roof to roof…you know what no no not yet I want to see the entire danny and sap thing dragged out first

  8. SUGauthor
    SUGauthor
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Hopefully you are done picking on Amber for the time being, because damn crap just won’t stop piling on her.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      In the next comic she falls face first into dog poo.

      • shadowcell
        shadowcell
        December 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        which was put there by a floating butt that follows her around and poops on her head constantly

        • SUGauthor
          SUGauthor
          December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

          Wow, just walked straight into that.

          • bustagus
            bustagus
            December 17, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

            She can’t help but walk straight into it.

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      December 17, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Like the saying goes, “the one constant in all of your failed relationships is you.”

      (Meaning Amber, of course, not the commenter above).

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 17, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

      This brought issues to the surface and gave Amber an answer.
      The healing can begin.
      That’s why I’ve said this may be a brilliant Batman Gambit by Mike.

  9. sentrythedefiant
    sentrythedefiant
    December 17, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Why don’t I buy that?

    • Tioras
      Tioras
      December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Because a lot of it is bullshit.

      But also cause you’re Suspicious Joyce.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Bugger, you beat me to it. It’s probably because it’s a typical bullshit line, and doesn’t explain a lot of things. It especially raises some awkward questions about what he’s doing with Joyce now…

      • Riku
        Riku
        December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        No it doesn’t. Joyce is more than happy to be with Ethan despite knowing he’s gay, and he doesn’t have nearly the kind of emotional connection he has (had?) with Amber, it’s kind of obvious why he’s willing to fake with Joyce, scummy though it is. I don’t think he’s being dishonest, but I don’t think he’s being moral

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

        Regaining a social life, sense of normalicy and reasserting control over his life. It’s a bad way of doing so but that’s what he’s doing.

        • Cyth
          Cyth
          December 17, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          But he can do all of those while being out and not trying to cram himself back into the closet? And with Joyce of all people.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            December 17, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

            Joyce is sort of the perfect person to do this with. She won’t actually cross a line he can’t physically cross in the foreseeable future and she’s too naïve and biased to understand just how doomed the situation is.

            But as I said, it’s not the right way to go about this but it’s accomplished his set goals so far.

            • Cyth
              Cyth
              December 17, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

              But Ethan seems to know this isn’t going to work, despite the lie he keeps telling himself. And rather than try and actually do what every kid in college has to do (make tough choices, make new friends, find new social groups and find your own “normal”) he’s using Joyce’s ignorance of the situation to desperately make this lie to himself seem okay.

              And in the end it doesn’t really accomplish his goal because at the end of the day, he’s still gay. He knows this. It’s the giant elephant in the room that he seems to think he will never have to acknowledge. And the longer and longer this goes on with Joyce, the greater the chance that what her subconscious seems to be trying to tell breaks through and he is back in the same boat he was with Amber.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 17, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

        Joyce get to “save a soul” with a guy she can safely lust after.
        He won’t be wanting sex until marriage.

        Then again, besides the obvious ways that ends badly it can also end this way:
        “Mr & Mrs Brown, I wanted to get married and have kids (which he really does). But your daughter is so frigid we can’t have sex and she turned me gay. Divorce time.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Not even for a dollar?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Because it’s a down economy.

  10. Sock
    Sock
    December 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Dear lord…murder in panel three!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      I like to imagine that panel 3 Amber is in the middle of creating a Spirit Bomb.

      • Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        Ahighfunctioningsociopath
        December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Panel four amber is delivering it underhanded.

      • Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        December 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Readers, lend me your energy!

  11. licoricepencil
    licoricepencil
    December 17, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Awwrgh, Amber. She needs a hug.

    Also a good therapist, but hugs first.

    • NoHeart
      NoHeart
      December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      I second this motion

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Therepudic hugs.

        • Ahighfunctioningsociopath
          Ahighfunctioningsociopath
          December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

          For everyone

      • Nym
        Nym
        December 17, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

        Thirded, with the addition of hugs after therapy, too.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 17, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      I say therapy first, I don’t want to touch her until she’s more stable.

    • NinjaNick
      NinjaNick
      December 17, 2013 at 1:38 am | #

      Yes, a ninja hug.

    • clodia
      clodia
      December 17, 2013 at 11:33 am | #

      All the hugs, a nice cup of cocoa, and then the best therapist money can buy.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 17, 2013 at 3:48 pm | #

      Then more hugs, then more therapist, then more hugs … lather, rinse, repeat.

  12. Zenithar
    Zenithar
    December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Ethan is the WORST.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 17, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

      Britta Perry is the worst and don’t you forget it.

      The logic is a bit simple, but not entirely wrong. The fact that the relationship was a lie would be a time bomb just waiting. Which doesn’t justify the closet, but that first part is true.

  13. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Amazi-Girl(*using a batman voice*): “MY LOVE-LIFE IS DEEEEAD!”

    • MM
      MM
      December 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      I laughed, and I feel horrible about it.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 17, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

        Thanks, I do have a streak of dark humour in me.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 17, 2013 at 8:15 am | #

          The Evil-Osaka avatar confirms that.

          (Note: This comment will expire within the next 24 hours.)

  14. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    So does this mean that Amber will become a Red Lantern?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      …and her greatest weakness will be blue lights, like the ones the police use, also bug-zappers.

      • Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        December 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        Lest we forget the entire Tron franchise.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 17, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          Red-Lantern VS Quorra, now that would be interesting.

  15. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    🙁

  16. chris73
    chris73
    December 17, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Ethan you lying little weasle

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      December 17, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      What makes you think he’s lying? Calling it quits so as not to hurt her in the long term rather than for himself makes a lot of sense.

      • chris73
        chris73
        December 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

        ‘Cause at the time he came out I highly doubt he was considering Ambers feelings at all (which is understandable) but now it just sounds like hes trying to be noble when the reality is hes hiding

        He doesn’t have the guts to be honest to the one person who supported him through the biggest upheaval in his life, who supported against his family and is still (in her own way) trying to help him and he returns the favour by giving her some nothing line…may as well have just said “its not you its me” for all the meaning it has

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 17, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

          Why wouldn’t he have been thinking of her at the time? There are a number of different ways he could have stopped them from having sex that night without coming out of the closet. telling her he was gay removes any concerns she might have done something wrong and places the problem between them as his sole deal.

          • chris73
            chris73
            December 17, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

            Waiting until shes half-dressed and on top you is probably the worst time to let her know your gay (I’m guessing)

            • Fernando
              Fernando
              December 17, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

              Sometimes people don’t really know they’re gay. Ethan’s not the most sexual guy, so it’s possible he didn’t even know he was gay until he tried to have sex with Amber and maybe couldn’t perform. Remember that in the Walkyverse he was even more clueless about it and only figured it out a long time after getting out of college.

          • The Weird One
            The Weird One
            December 17, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

            Because telling someone “I’m gay” right as you’re about to do the nasty is the worst possible time to realize it. Now and forever, you have instilled in them the subconscious fear that they’re so bad, so ugly, so unlikable, they literally turned someone off of their gender forever.

            It is scummy to then say you did it with their feelings in mind. So far, Ethan has shown a very narcissistic outlook on life. I honestly doubt he had her feelings in mind back then, and I honestly doubt he has them in mind right now.

            • Ourorboros
              Ourorboros
              December 17, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

              It might even drive a girl to Danny.

              I just don’t know what a good time would be. Trying to have sex brings focus to the issues though. Kind of forces a guy to realization, I would think.
              And if the rocket isn’t on the launching pad, it isn’t launching. No good way to break that news.

            • torstu
              torstu
              December 17, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

              So, what? Was Ethan supposed to go through with having sex with Amber? He would have been lying to her; she would be upset that he was faking it, and he would be upset that he a) had sex with someone that he wasn’t sexually attracted to and b) made her upset. I don’t see how he could have NOT told her. If he knew he was gay beforehand, he should have come clean sooner, yes; I still think he really did the best thing here, in the long run.
              As for the other bit, I don’t know what to say other than that I really believe he did it for both their sakes; he knew he couldn’t provide everything Amber wanted, and that she would suffer because of that. He ended it because he knew their relationship would end, sooner or later. They weren’t compatible enough for the kind of intimate relationship they had; ending it then, before they’d had sex or stayed together for too long, allowed them both to move on. So I don’t think it’s narcissistic for Ethan to call off the relationship- he did it in both their best interests.

              • The Weird One
                The Weird One
                December 17, 2013 at 12:38 pm | #

                No. But saying he did it because of her is a bit suspect, considering his every action since then has been about running away from this fact. I agree. If he realized it at that VERY INSTANT, yes, it was the best choice. But somehow, a bloke like Ethan, who is so deep in denial he could tell us the weather in Egypt, doesn’t strike me as the sort who would admit something like this the very INSTANT he realized it.

                I dunno. I was a bit harsh in my judgement, but I still don’t agree with what he’s doing.

            • Valdrax
              Valdrax
              December 17, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

              Wow. The lengths some people will go to hate characters in fiction.

              Ethan may have screwed up, but it’s not like he did so deliberately and with malice aforethought. We don’t know the full scene that led up to that and whether there was a better time before things begun to escalate past his comfort level.

              I’m amazed at how so many people just assume the worst of all these characters instead of realizing that they’re mostly well-intentioned but imperfect people.

              • The Weird One
                The Weird One
                December 17, 2013 at 11:19 am | #

                He wasn’t malicious about it, no. But he’s hardly considering others as he goes through life. He has problems. I get that. Believe me, I get that better than most people. But something that teenagers need to learn badly (and, I believe, Ethan is about to in this arc) is that your actions don’t only affect YOU. We live in a society, the basis of which is the ability to consider the collective as well as yourself.

                Maybe I was a bit harsh on Ethan. But the damage he’s done to Amber is almost certainly irreversible. He may not have meant to hurt her, but anger and self-image issues don’t burst out of the ground just like that.

                You’re right, though. I may have gone a tad too far. He is still a teenager, and still making stupid mistakes.

      • John
        John
        December 17, 2013 at 2:35 am | #

        I might have bought it if he hadn’t leapt into a relationship with another woman at the first available opportunity, which is basically guaranteed to hurt her no matter how he does it.

        I mean, best case scenario here is that he’s being sincere when he tells Amber that he couldn’t have an empty relationship with her because he cares too much about her… which just implies that he’s okay with having an empty relationship with Joyce because he doesn’t give a shit about her. Though given that he was making eyes at her (presumed) brother right over her head, that’s pretty obvious anyway.

    • Chubsius
      Chubsius
      December 17, 2013 at 5:47 am | #

      Yeah I call bull on Ethan’s story here. He’s basically saying, “it’s not me; it’s you.” He’s attempting to validate his mother’s horrible accusation that Amber dated him so badly that he came out as gay.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      December 17, 2013 at 2:50 pm | #

      Ethan is a Weasley? I never saw him at Hogwarts.

  17. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    December 17, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Amber, raising her arms in the air LIKE WE ALL CARE. WE REALLY DO AMBER, HONEY.

  18. nothri
    nothri
    December 17, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Nobody’s right when everybody’s wrong. Times infinity.

  19. Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
    Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
    December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    At this point the amount of dysfunction among the cast is reaching that point where it stretches my suspension of disbelief too far and becomes uninteresting due to the lack of resolution.

    • Claire
      Claire
      December 17, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

      I think it’s pushed just far enough.

    • nothri
      nothri
      December 17, 2013 at 9:12 am | #

      Fortunately I no longer have to suspend my disbelief, because I learned how to make it hover in midair. Turns out it comes from the distant world of Krypton and gains super power by bathing in our yellow sun.

      That’s right. You will disbelieve a man can fly…

      • Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
        December 17, 2013 at 10:44 am | #

        You win.

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        December 17, 2013 at 7:38 pm | #

        I put my disbelief in a closet.

        • Czar Baldy Bald
          Czar Baldy Bald
          December 17, 2013 at 9:30 pm | #

          Like Ethan.
          BABOOM

  20. Demon Something
    Demon Something
    December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    On an inappropriately light note, Amber flipping the table makes her look lie one of the figures from “Guernica.”

    • Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      Thanks, I'll Have Another!
      December 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      When even Picasso’s “Guernica” strikes a light note in comparison to the current strip, you know a webcomic is getting pretty serious.

  21. Ahighfunctioningsociopath
    Ahighfunctioningsociopath
    December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Ethan, honey, sweetie. Fucking grow a pair. Don’t give bullshit explanations, don’t hide from who you are, and do NOT blame this on others. I understand he’s gone through a lot, but you know what? That does not fucking excuse his actions here or anywhere. And you know something else, you should take your head out of your goddamm ass for the first time since you got to college and either be there for your friend or own up to your faults. Goddammit. I hope Sarah tears him a new one.

    • saltchocolate
      saltchocolate
      December 17, 2013 at 1:37 am | #

      I’m thinking Joyce might actually have this one…

  22. kenny
    kenny
    December 17, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    well played ethan.

  23. Jeremy
    Jeremy
    December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Only AmaziGirl can save them now!

  24. Tahkuya
    Tahkuya
    December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Ethan cant save her from PURE RAGE

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Unlike impure rage. It needs to be refined.

  25. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    December 17, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Poor Tiny Thunder Amber…

    • Bill
      Bill
      December 17, 2013 at 4:05 am | #

      “Tiny Thunder” has got to be one of the best nicknames I’ve heard in a long time.

  26. Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
    Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
    December 17, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Cue her seeing Danny bonding(?) with Sal, adding on another layer of drama and blaaaaaaaaah

  27. Vash
    Vash
    December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    I’m crying right now ok

  28. All Else Fails
    All Else Fails
    December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Oh Amber Poor Amber
    You’re fading away
    Oh Amber Poor Amber
    Life slowly decays

  29. Ugakicka
    Ugakicka
    December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Sarah’s probably wondering how she got stuck in more drama.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 17, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      “Where’s that twelve year old? Dealing with her was much more straightforward.”

  30. TaintedSpud
    TaintedSpud
    December 17, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    This. This makes me smile so much. So so sooooo much. Hehehehe…

    • Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
      Yo Gabba Gabba Messiah
      December 17, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      What the hell dude

      • TaintedSpud
        TaintedSpud
        December 17, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

        1. I enjoy schadenfreude.
        2. Amber is bringing her problems on herself. She’s a young, attractive, smart girl who most people would love to have. But she fixates on Ethan and Danny, two thoroughly terrible people. One is a spineless wimp who wants a fantasy world where he’s dating a superhero, the other is a spineless wimp who has his WHOLE LIFE to find someone, but is so clingy he latched onto JOYCE of all people.
        3. I reeeeeeeeally enjoy schadenfreude.

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          December 17, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

          To be fair, Ethan is/was her lifelong friend and first bf.
          She was soundly rejected when about to have sex, but sees him with a woman. That is a pretty big slap on the face.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          December 17, 2013 at 4:18 am | #

          1. It’s… Schadenfreude! Making me feel glad that I’m not you!

          2. Yeah, she’s bringing problems onto herself, but it isn’t because of “who she fixates on” or anything. First of all, Ethan is her closest friend, her ex-boyfriend from high school who she came close to consummating their relationship with until they figured out he was gay, and with a long history together, it’s not surprising nor inappropriate that Amber would care about and be concerned for him; and secondly, it could’ve easily been anyone other than Danny, and the result would’ve remained relatively the same. The real reason she’s bringing problems onto herself is because of the problems she already has, with her anger and with her father, which are causing them.

          Furthermore, I personally wouldn’t call Danny a spineless wimp who wants to live in a fantasy world; he’s very morally driven, trusting and loyal in his relationships, and he doesn’t wish to seek out a casual bang because he sees no value in it. And just because we, the reader, know who Amazi-girl is, that doesn’t invalidate the fact that Danny doesn’t know and Amber won’t tell him. She has turned the part of herself full of rage and violence and sadness and anger into a separate physical entity, a completely different person, and because she wanted that identity to be separate, and wanted others to see that identity as a unique individual, it isn’t wrong to say that Amazi-Girl technically IS a completely separate person from Amber, who merely occupies the same space as Amber does. In those regards, the person whom Danny is dating is, for all intents and purposes, someone “real” and not Amber until she acknowledges her to be so to him.

          Once you look at the situation like that, treating Amber and Amazi-Girl like separate people as she would want others to do and certainly as Danny sees them, Danny’s recent actions towards Amber become more clear and understandable. Danny had a choice between two “different” women, and he decided to choose the person who both had an interest in him and least reminded him of his ex; an issue that’s also understandable given the circumstances at the time. The fact that Amazi-Girl is a superheroine is certainly uncommon, and meant to be somewhat comical, but in real life it’s not unheard of; so while it’s easy to look down on Danny for “wanting to live out a fantasy”, take into consideration the idea that their relationship really isn’t a fantasy as far as he’s concerned. So when Amber decides to hide from her dad by “pretending” to be in a relationship with Danny for his sake, and not telling him later about either her identity or the reason she was hiding, Amber quite literally set herself up against herself, forcing Danny into a situation he was very uncomfortable with, which lead him to remove Amber from his life. In the end, it was her refusal to face her issues, to compartmentalize them and create an outlet for them, that wound up biting her in the ass, not Danny.

          • Cragalanch
            Cragalanch
            December 17, 2013 at 11:20 am | #

            Once again, Cragalanch’s high school essays are dwarfed by the comments to a webcomic. Cragalanch will go cry in a corner now

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              December 17, 2013 at 2:52 pm | #

              Have you tried using a bigger font?

        • Jordan
          Jordan
          December 18, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

          So she’s got a type, can’t fault her for having a type.

  31. sentrythedefiant
    sentrythedefiant
    December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    I want to slap Ethan so hard right now, it’s ridiculous. He’s alienating his closest friend so he can be an angsty teenager about his sexuality, saying “HEY I’M GAY BUT I’M NOT YOU TOTES CAN’T PUT A LABEL ON ME” and he deserves a primal ass-whooping.

    I mean, I get the pressure he’s getting from his parents, and that isn’t his fault. But the way he’s playing it is.

    tl;dr Ethan is making me mad bro.

    • wynne
      wynne
      December 17, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      That’s not what he’s saying at all. He’s saying that he’s not willing to use her as a beard, because he thinks she deserves a real relationship.

      • newllend
        newllend
        December 17, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        But Joyce on the other hand.

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          December 17, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

          THIS.

        • wynne
          wynne
          December 17, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

          Joyce doesn’t want a real relationship. Or at least, she doesn’t mind pretending.

          • newllend
            newllend
            December 17, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

            No she wants one bad she just doesn’t have a good idea what a real one is, if you where to going to ask her out you might as well propose rite there on the spot, to her love is that simple

            • Kyle
              Kyle
              December 17, 2013 at 9:40 am | #

              She’s in love with a fairy tale, with a script, with the expectation of how her life is supposed to go. Actual people don’t really have anything to do with it yet.

      • Cyth
        Cyth
        December 17, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        But Joyce doesn’t apparently.

        • insomniac
          insomniac
          December 17, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

          Joyce doesn’t want a real relationship, she wants someone who she knows has no sexual desire for her at all.

          • Cyth
            Cyth
            December 17, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

            Well yeah, right now. Her subconscious seems to have other ideas however.

            However, I think to Joyce the relationship is very real, in that she thinks she will “save” Ethan and then they get married and go prancing of into the sunset in holy matrimony.

          • newllend
            newllend
            December 17, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

            And what are they going to do on there wedding night when she does want sex and might spring up and say “OH GOD I MADE A MISTAKE….AGAIN,” She thinking about marraige I’m surprise she didn’t think that far.

          • Ourorboros
            Ourorboros
            December 17, 2013 at 1:39 am | #

            Joyce very much wants sex. She is also very scared of sex, hellfire, and damnation on top of all the hang-ups.
            She thought Joe JOE was relationship material even with Sarah’s warning.
            This is one of her problems – she thinks of herself as competent (it’s been four weeks, but I’ve got this dating thing down) and never gives a little thought that others have an idea of what they’re talking about.

            • Bill
              Bill
              December 17, 2013 at 4:15 am | #

              I agree, Joyce is willing to have sex but only under her terms.  Which means “No ding-ding vithout a vedding ring!”

              • nothri
                nothri
                December 17, 2013 at 9:20 am | #

                More like her parent’s terms. Joyce is basically trying to live by a set of rules imposed on her and ground into her brain that even she is finding stifling but sincerely believes are the “right” way to live, so live by them she is. At least until she convinces herself that they aren’t the roadmap to the good and righteous she’s been told that they are.

              • Jack Finch
                Jack Finch
                December 17, 2013 at 3:52 pm | #

                Doesn’t mean she won’t come to need it badly as her bond to Ethan grows.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 17, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Not alienating her. Just saying that he can’t be her boyfriend. He’s putting her first here, or at least thinks he is.

  32. Archivist
    Archivist
    December 17, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Aw, friendship.

  33. Graq
    Graq
    December 17, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    But isn’t Joyce going to get hurt when she realizes she can’t turn Ethan from a gay Jewish man into her perfect Christian husband? ‘Cause that’s what she meant when she said she’d try to “fix” you dude.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 17, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Yes, but Ethan hasn’t realized that she can’t “fix” him either, so of course he’s not gonna break up with her over it. As far as they’re concerned it’s a sound plan.

      • Cyth
        Cyth
        December 17, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        I’m fairly certain Ethan is aware that she can’t fix him, but is clinging on to this desperate horrible plan to appear “normal” when it’s going to pretty much just end up hurting him and the people he cares about in the long run.

    • Graq
      Graq
      December 17, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

      If Ethan believes that Joyce can “fix” him, then he’s deluded and that’s really frickin’ sad. If he knows she can’t, then the same logic he using to explain why he couldn’t be with Amber should apply to Joyce. I’m not sure if he’s just being more callous to Joyce because he doesn’t know and care about her the way he does about Amber, or because he doesn’t see Joyce getting hurt when her efforts to change him are thwarted.

      I’m saying this all as a gay person who is horrified by conversion attempts and should probably be more mad at Joyce than I am. Somehow I actually really like her as a character and have a hard time blaming her for all the ignorant crap she pulls when she’s only been out of her fundamentalist home bubble for a few weeks.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        December 17, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

        Considering Jacob’s first strip, I think it actually is possible he really thinks he can be “fixed”. To which I agree, really frickin’ sad.

        I think the Joyce thing is that while conversion attempts are, in fact, more messed up than there are words for, and yeah, we should probably be horrified, it’s pretty clear she’s only trying this because she’s so fresh out of the home bubble and this is obviously the first time she’s ever interacted with someone who’s openly gay. In other words, this is setting up for a huge reality dump in the near (in-universe at least) future for both of them.

        With Ethan… now that we’ve met his parents, it’s easier to see how he thinks he can just ignore the fact that he’s gay, because hot DAMN that situation’s a big ball of messed uppedness. But all the same, the fact that he’s willingly setting them both up for trouble for chances he probably knows aren’t that great and hurting his best friend in the process makes it hard to be sympathetic.

        They’re both using this relationship to hide their own issues. They’re both teens too inexperienced to realize this is never going to work. All we can do is sit back and watch it fall apart.

        • kagato23
          kagato23
          December 17, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

          Yeah, juding by some peoples anger, they seem to forget Ethan is lying to himself as hard as everybody else. He’s really going “this will work!” to himself in his head. And pushing the “no it’s not”‘s that come up way, way back.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 17, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

      Sure Joyce will be hurt. She also believes that being gay is a choice and gays can be changed/saved. It’s kind of part of fundamentalism.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 2:51 am | #

      Oh god, now Coldplay is stuck in my head and it’s entirely fitting for this strip.

      WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME?

  34. Aakriti
    Aakriti
    December 17, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    Awwww! This girl is making me cry!

  35. newllend
    newllend
    December 17, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    And all the lunch room workers are like, “thank god that didn’t end in a mother food fight I just got done cleaning the floor.” On a more serious note The entire amber’s heartbrakeing angst might be put on hold FOR NOW! But there still Joyce who wondering
    “What was that about? I still don’t know who that is.” And where the fuck is dina and where the fuck is walky and Billie they say they where going to get lunch so I thought they would show up by now?

  36. Em
    Em
    December 17, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

    This is so sad. 🙁 Ethan you fuckass. If you only like men, just be true to yourself.

    • Kyle
      Kyle
      December 17, 2013 at 9:38 am | #

      It’s a reasonable trade-off.

      On one hand, he’s breaking his best friend’s heart and leading on some hapless homeschooler for a few days (or months or years) with the implicit promise of a relationship that’ll never, ever happen.

      On the other hand, chicken sandwiches. Chicken sandwiches fried in peanut oil, man! With waffle fries! (Also, he’s evading the disapproval and persecution of the majority of his neighbors and peers, but I’m thinking it’s the waffle fries that sent him over the edge.)

  37. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 17, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    First Billie suffered the Break The Cutie moments, now it’s Amber’s turn.

    • Jordan
      Jordan
      December 18, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

      Willis really likes that trope doesn’t he? Hopefully Amber hits bottom soon (though I bet there’s going to be one or two more things to give her grief) and can start to rebuild her life.

  38. Chug
    Chug
    December 17, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    My abnormal psych teacher used to say “The problem with problems is that they create more problems.”

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 17, 2013 at 3:53 pm | #

      THIS x a million.

  39. Peruhain
    Peruhain
    December 17, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    People have speculated about Joyce’s sexual orientation before, but not in the same discussions where they are opining about the right/wrongness of the Joyce/Ethan ship. Has anyone considered that they both might be gay? I know the weird Joyce dream sequence implied otherwise, but dreams about one kind of sex don’t mean it’s really your main thing. It isn’t unknown for two queer people of the opposite sex to find common ground for a relationship, especially if one or more of them is in denial . . .

    • Seerow
      Seerow
      December 17, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

      I don’t think anyone’s sexual orientations changed between universes, and Joyce was pretty straight in the original walkyverse.

    • wynne
      wynne
      December 17, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

      Joyce was pretty straight in the old universe, even when she didn’t remember her religious upbringing (though she also had the emotional growth of a child for a good part of that).

      It’s possible, especially considering how repressed her sexuality is, but I don’t think it’s likely. Could be bi, I guess.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      December 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

      Well, standing rule for Willis’s comics is that if sexual orientation is consistent across continuities. Joyce was definitely into the boys in the other comic, so at best she’s bi. There were a few slivers of possible flexibility that were hinted at, but they were pretty thin. So for Joyce to outright prefer girls in this version would be a pretty significant change.

      (As much as I like to ship her with Dorothy, I am mostly aware that that’s a bit of a crack ship.)

      But even if we just look at this comic, and Joyce’s behavior in it, she’s had definite arousal from looking at guys, and the closer she ever came to taking interest in a girl was staring at Billie’s breasts at a time when she was paranoid about the mere possibility of being gay. So I’d say it’s unlikely but not impossible.

      • LimeTH
        LimeTH
        December 17, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

        Staring at Billie’s breasts wasn’t the only time. She seemed to like Sal’s hair WAY too much.
        Then again, who wouldn’t?

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          December 17, 2013 at 1:44 am | #

          Joyce’s pastor said she was the best socialized of her home study group, not well socialized in general.
          She hasn’t seen much of life and people at all and doesn’t express everything well. Witness telling her friend that she has a black room mate.

          • hof1991
            hof1991
            December 17, 2013 at 8:39 am | #

            This. Joyce is confident because her background gave her all the answers. She still lives in that bubble.

    • newllend
      newllend
      December 17, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

      I don’t the only person I see her going being gay for is Dorothy, even so she seems to be extremely homophobic, and dreams isn’t the only thing that makes her seem strait if you recall few day dreams. But any way she seems really sexuly frustrated, I mean shit haha

      • MistressMonkey
        MistressMonkey
        December 17, 2013 at 1:40 pm | #

        How is Joyce homophobic? The tenets of her faith might tell her that homosexual hanky panky is a sin, but I have yet to see her denounce someone for being gay. Trying to “fix” Ethan might seem terrible to us, but Joyce is honestly trying her best to be understanding and loving to someone she perceives as broken. Homophobia is a thing, but not a thing Joyce has.

        • Gordon
          Gordon
          December 17, 2013 at 7:58 pm | #

          Believing that being gay is something that needs to be fixed IS homophobic.

          • Mistress Monkey
            Mistress Monkey
            December 17, 2013 at 8:44 pm | #

            You might be right, the word is used so often that it’s lost all meaning. But ignorance isn’t bigotry. And though Joyce may be ignorant she’s been really kind and caring toward Ethan despite what her church probably taught her. When she sees that she can’t ever change him, though, I guess we’ll find out if she’s actually homophobic or just a sweet girl trying to reconcile reality with her religious upbringing.

            And yes, what she’s doing is wrong, but according to everything she knows about the world she’s doing something really good for Ethan. If people spent the time to explain real life to her (and, you know, it actually landed in the “new information” box) rather than calling her a bongo or deriding her, she might learn a thing or two.

            It’s really easy to dismiss people as “homophobic,” but I think we’d be better off to say that sometimes people don’t act out of malice, and instead just don’t know any better. I’m sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

        • newllend
          newllend
          December 17, 2013 at 10:02 pm | #

          Did you not see her reaction when she got into the entire discussion of lasbiqn love

  40. Rani
    Rani
    December 17, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    kimochi warui

  41. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    Amber’s having a bit of a breakdown.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      December 17, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

      A BIT?

    • Jordan
      Jordan
      December 18, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

      Saying that she’s having a bit of a breakdown is like saying that the ocean is damp or that the sun is a somewhat warm.

  42. Jody
    Jody
    December 17, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    Oh I see what he’s saying, what Amber wanted was a full relationships, not just sexytimes, but all those other things that come with a real, long term relationship and Ethan couldn’t give that to her, he knows it. He knows she deserves it but he doesn’t want to hurt her.

    Joyce just seems to want that cute part of the relationship, the hand holding, the cuddling and watching movies/tv. Nothing heavy, nothing substantial. That’s what he’s able to give and not feel bad about it, it’s one step above friendship but not quite a romantic relationship either.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      December 17, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      Okay, see, this is the thing, tho. That’s all Joyce wants -now-, because Joyce’s idea of an ideal relationship progresses slowly. But it DOES progress. If Ethan honestly thinks that’s all she’ll want forever, he’s an idiot. If he knows it’s not, then he’s a jerk, because by the time the nature of the relationship starts to change for her, she’ll be invested, and he’ll be doing to her what he did to Amber.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        December 17, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

        (Well, I expect it does progress, anyway. I’d be surprised if I’m wrong on that.)

      • Jody
        Jody
        December 17, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

        Yeah, Ethan isn’t working on foresight…or good logic at all really, but i can understand why he’d do it. He’s lonely and sad, he’s tired of being different and standing out.

        He wants his parents approval, a cute relationship and to not be that gay kid.

    • Aischylos
      Aischylos
      December 17, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      Am I the only one around here who thinks that Joyce (subconsciously) wants a sexual relationship?

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        December 17, 2013 at 12:38 am | #

        Oh no, that’s been made pretty clear from the sex dream. However, the other thing that dream made clear was that between the big bundle of sexual “purity” stuff she’s been raised on and the trauma from Ryan, she’s got it so repressed its straitjacket has a straitjacket.

      • wynne
        wynne
        December 17, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

        No, but you’ll never get her to admit it.

        And given what happened with Ryan, I think she’ll need to feel EXTREMELY safe before she wants to progress any further (physically speaking). She’s got the drive, but he buried it under a pile of fear.

      • Hippoman
        Hippoman
        December 17, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

        There was a pretty convincing dream sequence that suggested (through the eyes of madness) that she yearns for a sexual relationship. That said, she’s not likely to let those urges go anywhere anytime soon.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 17, 2013 at 1:48 am | #

        She wants sex in a big way.
        That’s why she rationalizes the choices of Joe and Ethan who are outside her Jewish.
        She came to find the godly man who will be her husband and she was warned about dating outside her faith.
        But it’s been made clear both are attractive and that Joyce definitely lusts.
        She wants it, believes getting it is wrong.

        The question is why isn’t she punishing herself for her lustful thoughts?

  43. Allcool-dontcare
    Allcool-dontcare
    December 17, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

    Umm willis, one favor can u put the link to the first flash back if it exists down here.

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      December 17, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      That’s all you ever see of it, just the one panel.

    • Nym
      Nym
      December 17, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

      Even though there’s nothing different about the flashback panel its previous iteration, have a link anyway: Shocking Reveal

  44. Claire
    Claire
    December 17, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

    I think “whatever” Amber needs is part of her rage and aggression but she doesn’t want to need.

  45. Spliced
    Spliced
    December 17, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    I really don’t know what to think here. Am I mad at Ethan? No. I think he did what he thought he should. But I’m not sure if Amber is confused or hurt or…

    • rachel
      rachel
      December 17, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

      realistic characters, amirite

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 2:46 am | #

      I’d say both, and a bit horrified at her actions. I feel like this arc will be heading towards Amber finally getting help for her anger issues; after seeing her actions with her dad, her best friend, and perhaps one more incident that has yet to come with Danny and Sal, she may be pushed over the limit and break down, where Danny will eventually come into the picture and save her from herself, as a callback to when Amazi-girl first saved him. At least, that’s my prediction.

      • anonymous
        anonymous
        December 17, 2013 at 11:41 am | #

        But if Amber gets help with her anger issues– would that spell the end of AmaziGirl?

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          December 17, 2013 at 3:36 pm | #

          Possibly. She may actually like helping people out, and instead of being a masked vigilante, she’ll use that as a starting point for an actual career in, I dunno, being in law enforcement, or a paramedic, or a firefighter, or something that lets her reach out to others. Or maybe she’ll continue her crime-fighting, just without the pretense of using it as an outlet for her issues. And hell, maybe Danny will join her.

  46. Jack Faire
    Jack Faire
    December 17, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

    You mean straight? Ethan? I think given the second panel what she needs is sex. Ethan seems to like Joyce because she doesn’t want sex.

  47. CookieCrumbler
    CookieCrumbler
    December 17, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

    And so Joyce is….?

    Acceptable losses.

    • Nym
      Nym
      December 17, 2013 at 1:02 am | #

      Well, Ethan thinks he can be what Joyce needs and that Joyce is what he needs right now. Whether he’s wrong, well, at least he did realize he wasn’t the right person for Amber.

  48. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    December 17, 2013 at 12:40 am | #

    Everything hurts.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      December 17, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

      Nothing is right and

    • gangler
      gangler
      December 17, 2013 at 1:39 am | #

      Cause everybody wants, and everybody needs
      Everybody asks for one more piece
      Everybody wants to hear someone say please
      Cause everybody takes, and everybody steals
      Everybody cries when something feels
      Everybody’s looking for the drug that heals

  49. Jeeves
    Jeeves
    December 17, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

    Why do I get the feeling that Amazi-Girl is about to go through her mid-90s grimdark ultra-violence phase?

    • gangler
      gangler
      December 17, 2013 at 2:53 am | #

      Fractured Jaw! Bam, Broken Ribs! Ruptured Spleen.

      Shattered Tibia.

      • Bill
        Bill
        December 17, 2013 at 4:17 am | #

        And beating someone in the FAAACCEEEEE!
        With their own bloody femurs.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 17, 2013 at 3:58 pm | #

      I think so too. At least I fear it. I wouldn’t want to be the next guy to call her Amazi-tits.

  50. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    December 17, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

    Now Amber is running down the hall.

    THAT hall where you who is playing with you know who’s DS (or is it 3DS?)

    I have a VERY BAD feeling about this™

    • rachel
      rachel
      December 17, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

      nooooooooooo

    • newllend
      newllend
      December 17, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

      I don’t think they stay in the same place for two hours playing 3DS they would at least take it to his room say it could charge.

      Wait a minute….oh shit

  51. Nym
    Nym
    December 17, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

    Ethan’s little teary eyes. And even more Amber crying panels. Aghagh all the feelings. I have aaaaaaaaall the feelings.

  52. Greg
    Greg
    December 17, 2013 at 12:56 am | #

    For some reason I find it hilarious that Ethan is still carrying his empty lunch plate while having this deep and serious conversation with Amber.

    • rachel
      rachel
      December 17, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

      I actually find it really touching. like, when you’re engaged with something/one on an emotional level, you’re just not worrying about crap like that. I think it is an awesome detail for Willis to include.

      • Greg
        Greg
        December 17, 2013 at 2:11 am | #

        I agree, but I keep reading it as if Ethan is really disinterested about the whole thing and he’s just talking to Amber on his way to drop off his dirty dish.

        • John
          John
          December 17, 2013 at 2:25 am | #

          Yeah, I noticed it yesterday, where it looks kind of like he’s offering it to Amber. It feels kind of symbolic to me. Like: Here’s what Ethan brings to his relationships. *empty plate*

          • John
            John
            December 17, 2013 at 2:27 am | #

            (And I still maintain that he had a sponge for lunch. ‘Cause there’s no way anyone could get a plate of mac and cheese that clean.)

          • StClair
            StClair
            December 17, 2013 at 2:43 am | #

            I agree.

          • rachel
            rachel
            December 17, 2013 at 4:21 am | #

            ooooh ow ow ow but that possibility huuuuuurts

  53. Jammy
    Jammy
    December 17, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    My feels have got feels from feeling this feely-feel

    • Bilfred
      Bilfred
      December 17, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

      so many feels. I feel like giving them feels a feel, if you feel my feeling.

  54. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    December 17, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

    Someday, Amber is going to murder somebody. It will not be a persn related to any of her issues, just someone in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    🙁

    • NoHeart
      NoHeart
      December 17, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

      She’ll probably flip a table and it’ll hit some unfortunate bystander

  55. rachel
    rachel
    December 17, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

    oh my god the name of this strip. this is the reason that when all three strips of Willis’s update, I read this one last.

    IT BURNS

  56. Synnerman
    Synnerman
    December 17, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

    And now rises Darth Amazi-Girl!

    • newllend
      newllend
      December 17, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

      Do not even joke about that it would be the end of all of us.

  57. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    December 17, 2013 at 1:19 am | #

    She cray cray

  58. That Damn Rat
    That Damn Rat
    December 17, 2013 at 1:21 am | #

    Yeeeeahh, not buying what you’re selling Ethan.

    • anonymous
      anonymous
      December 17, 2013 at 11:48 am | #

      Ethan’s in a transition phase. He’s out of the closet, but he’s not ready yet to act on his impulses and find a boyfriend. Being with Joyce in the meantime would not be the worst thing in the world– they’ll be happy, until he dumps her to pursue guys and she either regrets trying to reform him or regrets that her efforts were wasted. Then she’ll be sad from that regret and he’ll be miserable from breaking another girl’s heart.

      It’s not like most relationships end with both partners being happy, though. And for Joyce, there’s an applicable quote from Shakespeare: ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

  59. No_One
    No_One
    December 17, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

    I really want to like Ethan because I have a love for Shortpacked-Ethan but Dumbingofage-Ethan is getting harder and harder to like…

    • NoHeart
      NoHeart
      December 17, 2013 at 1:32 am | #

      My thoughts exactly

      • Graq
        Graq
        December 17, 2013 at 11:52 am | #

        So much this.

  60. Duchess
    Duchess
    December 17, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

    Does anyone else feel like this girl is a serious suicide risk?

    • Ace
      Ace
      December 17, 2013 at 1:43 am | #

      This is a story where, if I remember correctly, the creator has said nobody will die. I don’t remember where I read that, though. Maybe I’m just imagining it?

      • newllend
        newllend
        December 17, 2013 at 1:47 am | #

        Good Ruth is safe.

    • John
      John
      December 17, 2013 at 2:22 am | #

      I kind of suspect that when Amber loses it, it’s everyone else at risk.

      • newllend
        newllend
        December 17, 2013 at 10:04 pm | #

        No how in the other universes Ruth died

  61. Daniel Jacobs
    Daniel Jacobs
    December 17, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

    why must you keep breaking the heart of my favorite character WHY!!!!

  62. ninja_jesus
    ninja_jesus
    December 17, 2013 at 2:05 am | #

    Well, at least this strip established the fact that Ethan sees his relationship with Joyce as a relationship of convenience. So now that Amber’s on the tipping point, all she needs now is to find Danny and Sal together and hopefully confront him about his terrible, terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or a visit from Mike telling her that she needs to get herself help in the way he usually does; by being an asshole and pointing out the truth to her.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

      Also, I feel like this song is very appropriate. Poor Amber.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 17, 2013 at 12:33 pm | #

      The confrontation with Danny should go like this:

      Danny’s standing in the hall with Sal playing the game.
      Amazi-girl, in costume, walks up behind Danny and taps him on the shoulder.
      He looks back at her, and while he’s in shock she says, “Moron,” and then turns and strides around the nearby corner.
      When he runs to follow, she’s not there, having already slipped out the nearby window.

  63. Nono
    Nono
    December 17, 2013 at 2:40 am | #

    I’m more curious if Joyce is going to choose the Right Thing and get Ethan to go comfort her or even go herself, or stick to her selfish desires to not have Ethan get close to some girl he just declared to ‘love more than anyone.’

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 2:48 am | #

      I feel that Joyce, being the “wanting everyone to be happy” kind of girl, might go and comfort Amber; then again, she’d probably be wary after just being yelled at by her.

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 17, 2013 at 3:21 am | #

        Joyce, who was extremely territorial when Ethan was talking to Amber at Galasso’s? Who put Ethan’s arm around her after seeing Dorothy with Walky?
        Who, as you say, was just yelled at?

        I think a realistic best case would be to think about what she did.

  64. Bill
    Bill
    December 17, 2013 at 2:49 am | #

    “I’m sorry.  I — I have to go.”

    I know the feeling, Amber; sometimes you just need to have a little ‘alone’ time to try and sort shit out.
    Just don’t do anything stupid, girl.

  65. Gottawonder
    Gottawonder
    December 17, 2013 at 3:00 am | #

    Ethan has a very odd way of showing Amber that he “loves her more than anyone”. Looks like he is sad because he feels sorry for her, but I’m willing to bet it is not because he thinks it could possibly be HIS fault.

    As for Amber’s flashback, she hates anything that reminds her of her father and she hate’s herself when she acts like him. As she just did. Lost control.

    She just stood up for a friend who she see’s as destroying himself, just to be kicked in the face, again, by said friend.

    Looks like she is feeling pissed at herself for loosing control, devastated by Ethan’s actions, and just over the whole human race.

    What’s next Mr. Sadist Willis, going to run Amber right into Danny mooning all over Sal while they play the DS?

    • Hoboturtle
      Hoboturtle
      December 17, 2013 at 3:39 am | #

      Oh… Oh god no. That’s exactly what’s going to happen next isn’t it?

      I was expecting it before, but that was before this all happened. Now would be tje worat timing.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 5:01 am | #

      Actually, I’d be willing to bet that Danny is going to see Amber running away crying, and thinking that Sal is Amazi-Girl, will try to “hint” to her that someone is in trouble and needs help. Then, after seeing Sal not do anything, he’ll get mad at her and they’ll argue, finally culminating in Sal exclaiming that she is not, in fact, Amazi-Girl; either that, or he will think that because they are in public together, it would be best not to be seen leaving together as she changes into her costume, and leave her ahead of time, confusing the heck out of Sal who then leaves with the person she was waiting for.

      For the former, if Sal reveals she isn’t Amazi-Girl, Danny will then think that Amazi-Girl must be on her way to Amber’s assistance right now, and he’ll take off to meet her. And when he finally gets to her, he’ll probably hide and wait for Amazi-Girl to show up, then witness Amber doing one of three things (that I can think of): 1. He’ll see Amber put on the mask just as she did in a previous strip; 2. He’ll see Amber do something that, after realizing that Amazi-Girl isn’t coming in a last-minute save, will prompt him to try to save her, just as Amazi-Girl had saved him; or 3. He’ll just witness her crying, and then after he sees that Amazi-Girl isn’t coming, will approach Amber in an attempt to make some sort of peace with her, but will either be a victim of Amber’s anger, or will be pushed away. For the last choice, if he gets pushed away, he’ll probably keep pushing the issue, and ask if it had anything to do with his actions (of course), and then Amber will promptly vent and rant at him about her shitty day, filling him in on her father and on her history with Ethan, and Ethan’s rejection of her. Danny will then probably impart some kind of wisdom (unexpected of him by everyone) to her, which actually is genuinely helpful for Amber to cope with the day, and then after a bit of talk, end up either blurting out that he thinks he knows who Amazi-Girl is, or he’ll miraculously put the pieces together (again, unexpected of him by everyone) and realize that Amber is Amazi-Girl.

      I can go on and on with this.

  66. Shanunu
    Shanunu
    December 17, 2013 at 3:05 am | #

    Laughs like a school girl because Ethan is trying to make people gay

    • Graq
      Graq
      December 17, 2013 at 11:56 am | #

      Um, what?

      • Shanunu
        Shanunu
        December 17, 2013 at 12:54 pm | #

        It’s punny.

  67. gangler
    gangler
    December 17, 2013 at 3:19 am | #

    It just occurred to me. She’s lost as much of an emotional support network as Ethan. While Ethan’s off with only Mike for council all she’s really got is Dina at this point, when she used to have somebody who was a big enough figure in her life to warrant marriage.

    What she needs is a Robin. A sidekick who understands her pain, who she can talk to about all this bullshit, who can fill some of the companionship void created when Ethan became painful to be around, who she can be herself around without relying on any secret identities.

    • Lel
      Lel
      December 17, 2013 at 8:02 am | #

      Her robin can, since Dina is apparently not an option, be the Danninator. He Dans right up the plans of evil!

    • John
      John
      December 17, 2013 at 11:43 pm | #

      It took me a second to figure out that you didn’t mean Robin DeSanto.

      She’s Leslie’s sidekick! (Even if they’ve only barely met in this universe.) Amazi-Girl can’t have her!

  68. Nono
    Nono
    December 17, 2013 at 3:25 am | #

    Oh hey, I just noticed Ethan has a tear in his eye in the first panel too.

  69. Ender
    Ender
    December 17, 2013 at 3:52 am | #

    “I can fake it with Joyce because I don’t really give a $*@& about her.”

    Classy.

  70. James
    James
    December 17, 2013 at 4:25 am | #

    an then Amber get hit by a bus as she runs out the door……

  71. James
    James
    December 17, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

    I am starting to wonder if there is a random tag somewhere in this universe.

  72. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    December 17, 2013 at 4:57 am | #

    Ohhh! My heart!

  73. Galatine
    Galatine
    December 17, 2013 at 4:58 am | #

    I don’t get the Joyce hate in the comments here. Everyone is perfectly honest and above board with one another in this relationship. Is it perfect? Hell no. But it’s not Joyce’s fault that Ethan doesn’t want to be gay. And it’s not Ethan’s fault that he doesn’t want to be gay. Not wanting to be gay is a perfectly valid feeling.

    Is it going to make him stop being gay? Probably not, but until and unless one of them actually takes initiative to have sex, it wouldn’t matter. Joyce wants to wait until marriage, and has become thoroughly scarred by the son of a preacher man. She’s not going to try to force Ethan to have sex.

    You know what? She’s /right/. She did have this relationship thing down. She was being a cute little girlfriend, Ethan appears to like her, she likes Ethan, everyone involved was happy. Making a relationship all about sex is ridiculous.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 5:07 am | #

      Oh jeez, the song “Son of A Preacher Man” takes a whole new meaning when put in the context of Joyce’s experiences. I guess it’s fitting that the only one who could ever really teach her to fear sex was the son of a preacher man, hehe.

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      December 17, 2013 at 6:56 am | #

      The commentariat in general has some rather narrow views as to acceptable relationships.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 17, 2013 at 12:28 pm | #

      Let’s see, why do I hate Joyce? (Do I hate Joyce? Well, let’s assume I do.) Here are a few potential reasons:

      1) Anti-gay bigotry is annoying, and thus the concept of ‘fixing’ gays is annoying. While it’s a little unclear how much of this is ‘avoiding sex’ and how much of it is ‘curing Ethan’, both aspects are part of her plan for this relationship.

      2) She’s an idiot! She’s putting up with so much crap as part of playing her girlfriend role. Seriously, Ethan has been consistently treating her like shit since the thing started, first ditching her for her (apparent) brother, then just now turning their kiss into a spite-glare at Amber. This comic strongly implies that he’s only able to date her because he doesn’t care about her, and he’s not kidding. She’s clinging to a broken and damaging relationship despite the fact that she’s a victim of it too.

      3) She responded to Amber’s challenge by trying to quote scripture at her, which makes me want to smack her with a newspaper. Even the most hardcore theist apologists know by now that when somebody accuses you of gay-hating, they’re not going to accept biblical quotes as justification for it. It’s like asking to be shouted down.

      4) I’m not sure that sweater vest goes with her eyes.

      Stuff like that, I think.

  74. acher4
    acher4
    December 17, 2013 at 5:21 am | #

    Oh come on!
    Please, someone give Amber a hug…. pleeeease! 🙁

    • James
      James
      December 17, 2013 at 5:41 am | #

      not until she stops running from her problems.

      Otherwise it is an emtey hug, not a healing hug.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        December 17, 2013 at 12:08 pm | #

        I’m honestly uncertain how you imagine she should be dealing with her problems. Standing her ground and punching them into submission? Blaine abusing her, Ethan rejecting her, Danny not cheating on Amazi-girl – all of these are objectively stressful and saddening things that she’s having to deal with. And the only one she can do anything about by talking about it is the Danny situation, which can’t possibly happen because the plot issue would instantly resolve. So what can she do?

        • James
          James
          December 17, 2013 at 6:03 pm | #

          No more burying her problems and using AG as a crutch.

          and Smack Danny for being an idiot.

  75. Gargamel
    Gargamel
    December 17, 2013 at 5:41 am | #

    Oh I hope this is going down a very dark road so Amber can do what needs to be done.

  76. hoop
    hoop
    December 17, 2013 at 7:11 am | #

    every damn day with Amber i swear to god

  77. Delirio
    Delirio
    December 17, 2013 at 7:32 am | #

    In-universe in a couple of days Amber has twice broken the compartments and become violent as Amber, rather than in her contrived vigilante-avenger persona, and we can see that really shatters her. The flashback combination confronts her with that while she once was ostensibly heartbroken but supportive, later when Ethan again goes off-script she becomes angry and violent about it.

    Unwittingly, Ethan’s conduct rubs in her face that nobody asked her to set out “righting wrongs”; more so it feels like a reprise of how “after-all-we’ve-been-through-together” he still fails to respond the way she expected. She wants him to be Out-And-Proud because she feels it’s the right thing to do, yes… but also, because then it’s a validation of how she dealt with his original reveal.

    Over these two in-universe days, Amber feels she’s failing: failing at getting away cleanly from her dad, failing to control her anger, failing to foster Ethan’s complete coming out, failing to establish another relationship upon honest foundations.

    Ethan has chosen a facade of control and he has already said that’s what he wants: it satisfies him for now. When Amber said “he could be happy” she means in a grand lifetime sense, but when Ethan says it he means in the sense of a satisfactory current life arrangement. Joyce, well, Joyce already believes control is in the hands of a Higher Power anyway and trusting that Power will eventually make it all right also satisfies her for now. Amber however is getting neither happiness NOR momentary satisfaction as a return on her emotional investment.

  78. hof1991
    hof1991
    December 17, 2013 at 8:49 am | #

    It’s only partly the drama. It’s also the isolation. Everyone gets together and eats and Amber sits alone. Even Dina is enjoying company for the meal.

    She need AG just to have someone to talk to about her problems.

    Willis needs to slow this down, because she is already in the area where campus security may be called and if she has a Sal/Amber fight, they surely will be, because it would be epic.

    And are the comments behaving wonky today. They are displaying weird on Firefox for me.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      December 17, 2013 at 8:53 am | #

      but they work in Explorer. Panel one, Amber still has her fists of death ready, but then is off for more isolation. God help the criminals on campus. I hope they are non-violent like the sign vandalizers.

  79. What was the question again?
    What was the question again?
    December 17, 2013 at 9:10 am | #

    …and then Joyce breaks up with Ethan because PREMARITAL HANKY-PANKY!

  80. Adork
    Adork
    December 17, 2013 at 9:21 am | #

    If it’s been said before I apologize but my goodness I’m hating Ethan. I’ve read a lot of comics with openly homosexual characters and each one have been happily accepted and I never had to read through their struggles, only once before have I read something where someone was against it and couldn’t accept it. I’m not saying that this needs to be like that, in fact I’m welcoming this because I know it’s not easy at all and not everyone is accepting.

    Now that aside my hate towards Ethan right now. His coming out wasn’t a walk in the park and he wants to go back to when it was. Why he thinks the people in college will be the same as those back home is a little boggling but he wants to lie to himself and put on false airs for that idea of normalcy. An act that basically spits in Amber’s face for all that she had done for him after coming out.

    Another thing is the danger he is putting Joyce in. If it gets out that he is gay people may ask why he has a girlfriend and may even ask her. If Joyce points out all of the things that she is doing with him and that she is trying to “fix” him LGBT supporters and those who see her taking a Jewish boy to church might rip her to shreds.

  81. Samantha
    Samantha
    December 17, 2013 at 9:33 am | #

    Soooooo…. Is Amber wearing the same shirt in panel four as she is in current day? Or is that not a flashback panel?

    • Stifyn Baker
      Stifyn Baker
      December 17, 2013 at 12:55 pm | #

      It IS a flashback, but to 2 strips ago.

  82. Kyle
    Kyle
    December 17, 2013 at 9:33 am | #

    Amber, you’re my best friend, I couldn’t possibly use you just to feel normal! That’s what oblivious blonde protestants with frightening smiles are for!

    There’s no way anyone’s getting out of this one without looking like kind of a jerk, is there? Except maybe Sarah. Sarah’s chill.

  83. TrueVCU
    TrueVCU
    December 17, 2013 at 9:46 am | #

    Willis draws a mean epiphany face

  84. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    December 17, 2013 at 10:07 am | #

    Amber now has enough Dark-Side points for Force-Choke, right?

  85. CC
    CC
    December 17, 2013 at 10:17 am | #

    Now that I read through the comments, I wonder if some parallels are going to be drawn between Sal and Amber. Sal, who dislikes how her parents treated her and became angry and violent as a result, and Amber who’s had to deal with a parent precisely like that.

    Hell, if Danny and Sal become a (likely one-sided) thing, Sal could even be construed as abusive in her worst moments.

  86. Nena
    Nena
    December 17, 2013 at 11:49 am | #

    =( Poor thing.

  87. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    December 17, 2013 at 12:05 pm | #

    Noo Amber. 🙁

    She needs some serious loving, that girl.
    She should try to stay away from homosexuals or superhero loving dorks for now.

    …Funny thing is, I knew a girl who was into gay guys. And was always crushed when they didn’t want her. It was kinda sad seeing her crash and burn all the time.

    • chris73
      chris73
      December 17, 2013 at 1:19 pm | #

      Just out of curiosity did she ever explain why she was into gay guys?

      • OmegaDez
        OmegaDez
        December 17, 2013 at 3:49 pm | #

        She was deep into yaoi. Enjoying the more androgynous, effeminate males she could find, I guess. Maybe she found them non-threatning? Or she was sure that those guys would never cheat on her with another girl?
        Of course, there was always the fact they weren’t into her that made her plans never really work.

        She eventually matured, of course, and realized other males were fine too. Although her current boyfriend is so terribly skinny I’m afraid of breaking him with my gaze.

        • RuleOfThunder
          RuleOfThunder
          December 17, 2013 at 8:09 pm | #

          Fenales crushing on “safe” guys is fairly common, actually. It’s a safety is-
          ue as much as anything. A bearded, muscular, roaring, sworded, force of na-
          ture of a man is dangerous to the develpomental female, and can only be dealt with by a fully mature female, secure in her femininity. Immature females often find safe crushes who do not threaten thier psychic framework. Like Beiber. or gays. They are no threat, and can be safely engaged in fantasies. As you pointed out, it is essentially a maturity issue. Control issues are often interwoven in such com-
          plexes also.

        • chris73
          chris73
          December 17, 2013 at 11:07 pm | #

          Thanks, its always a mystery to me why girls do what they do (being a typical clueless male)

  88. Stifyn Baker
    Stifyn Baker
    December 17, 2013 at 12:51 pm | #

    It’s a terrible thing to discover that all your friends are so much more grounded and reasonable than you are…

  89. Schist
    Schist
    December 17, 2013 at 12:56 pm | #

    Just looking at the cast page, how come Becky is on there but Jacob is not? He is in more comics than she is.

  90. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    December 17, 2013 at 1:00 pm | #

    I actually am giving Joyce more credit than most. I don’t think she believes she’s going to marry Ethan. She’s just using him as a placeholder for the time being.

  91. Schequeerazade
    Schequeerazade
    December 17, 2013 at 1:09 pm | #

    I think Ethan and Joyce are very dumb here, but I’m not entirely clear why they’re being beaten so much in the comments here. Both Ethan and Joyce have been honest with each other, and they have accepted the relationship for what it is. Both of them are using the other as something to cling to in order to resist their sexual desires, and they both know that about the other. It’s not healthy, but it is their choice.

    Ethan isn’t saying that he can do this to Joyce because he doesn’t care about her. It has to do with sex. Ethan can’t be there for Amber, sexually. He can’t be there for Joyce sexually, either. The difference is that, for Joyce, this is solidly in the “pro” column for how they both see this. With Amber, it was in the “con.” It has nothing to do with affection, and everything to do with sexual need.

    They’re all fairly dumb and damaged to be engaging each other this way, but then, the comic is called “Dumbing of Age.” Did anyone expect these 18-year-olds to be making good choices with a title like that? They’re young, and they get to be dumb for a while.

    • Really?
      Really?
      December 17, 2013 at 1:32 pm | #

      Can you be honest with another person if you can’t be honest with yourself? Believing self-deception isn’t really honesty in my book, even if it’s not overtly deceitful.

  92. TJ Baltimore
    TJ Baltimore
    December 17, 2013 at 2:04 pm | #

    It doesn’t seem to me that Ethan’s problem is with being gay, in and of itself. His problem is that he will be pigeon-holed and stereotyped as “that gay Jewish nerd”. He is in for a rude awakening when he realizes that everyone is pigeon-holed and stereotyped, and he will be ”the closeted (who is he kidding?) gay Jewish nerd dating the fundie girl”. Ethan doesn’t seem to care about religion except that he likes that it gives structure and direction; he doesn’t seem to care if it’s “true”.

    Does Joyce really think she can convert him? I know that is often the trend in thinking with fundamentalists, but thus far she’s only said that with her support he can avoid temptation. There’s a big difference between not acting on homosexual tendencies and pretending and eventually acting on heterosexual tendencies.

    That being said, why isn’t Ethan freaked out that Joyce is already planning their wedding? Does he think that Joyce is not going to have expectations for their wedding night? And I’ll bet Joyce wants at least three or four children, which means that Ethan will have to do it three or four times . . .

    And for their entire relationship/married life, Joyce is going to have this niggling fear that Ethan could backslide at any moment!

    Please forgive me for being emotional, but as one of the few openly gay guys in college, I have been hurt many times by closeted boyfriends who left me for women because they wanted a “normal” life. This all hits way too close to home. Until yesterday, I have never disliked Joyce* or Ethan, but to me they are approaching unforgivable levels of self-delusion.

    I wish I could hug Amber!

    *Joyce quoting the Bible as if it should end all discussion really made me hate her. She doesn’t even recognize that other people have different religious beliefs, and to them the Bible may as well be Mad magazine when it comes to moral authority.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      December 17, 2013 at 3:44 pm | #

      Hugs for everyone! :'(

  93. Chupabarbara
    Chupabarbara
    December 17, 2013 at 5:51 pm | #

    I’m really interested in Joyce’s reaction, she really doesn’t like seeing anyone hurt and I don’t think she’s ever realized that all relationships don’t end in “Happily Ever After.”

    The concept of divorce and gay and dating have all been very distant ideas that she heard of, but being confronted with the negative effects of people being hurt could shock her system. The idea of a hussy after her man got her angry and she had a over-the-top villain angle, but seeing two people that obviously love each other and it didn’t work out is another story.

    Another interesting note: Is it established that Sal is the convenient store robber that inspired Amazi-girl? If so, seeing her with Danny at such a fragile state might inspire Amber to confront and subsequently dump on Sal.

  94. Alexis
    Alexis
    December 17, 2013 at 5:54 pm | #

    You know you fucked up when something that happened five minutes ago is ALREADY flashback material.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      December 17, 2013 at 8:07 pm | #

      Come on, it’s all in the PAST

  95. man in black
    man in black
    December 17, 2013 at 7:43 pm | #

    great page

    • LiaHansen
      LiaHansen
      December 17, 2013 at 10:10 pm | #

      a-HA! Second to last! So either you’re not magical, or Frogger is very slightly moreso! The plot thickens.

  96. Frogger
    Frogger
    December 17, 2013 at 7:46 pm | #

    Didn’t Ethan flirt with Joyce’s brother before? Something tells me that Ethan might stray and “cheat” on Joyce with another man eventually. I don’t really see things ending so well with Ethan and Joyce. Someone is going to get hurt.

    • Arkantos
      Arkantos
      December 17, 2013 at 10:18 pm | #

      Oh badly. And you know what? As much emotional turmoil as that’s going to cause, I’m rooting for it to happen as soon as possible.

      • newllend
        newllend
        December 17, 2013 at 10:25 pm | #

        50 imaginary bucks says it happens

        • Arkantos
          Arkantos
          December 17, 2013 at 11:56 pm | #

          Hey, Hey! We bet with internet cookies here, mister/missy!

  97. Jesse
    Jesse
    December 17, 2013 at 11:39 pm | #

    This is the most feels I have ever received from a webcomic before. “Damn you, Willis!” is completely appropriate right now.

  98. Bilfred
    Bilfred
    December 18, 2013 at 3:36 am | #

    What Amber needs is an emotional rock.
    …like Mike.

  99. SiggimusMaximus
    SiggimusMaximus
    December 20, 2013 at 10:43 am | #

    I’m gonna be that guy and say it looks like Ethan’s getting some Amberboob in the second flashback.

  100. Grimjac
    Grimjac
    December 24, 2013 at 10:04 am | #

    Wow…a resolution (sort of) that makes sense! Not that there won’t be more drama to follow, but this incident is wrapped up with a minimum of bloodshed, nicely blurring the lines between Right and Wrong. It’s rare to find a webcomic that (I hope) intentionally defies the norm…heck, in most fiction, the hero is the Good Guy and any mistake he makes is quickly corrected. The Heroine is the Good Girl and any mistakes she makes are quickly corrected. Here in DoA, there really aren’t any Good Guys or Girls; there’s just a bunch of college kids trying to find their way in life.

    And somehow Willis manages to make it interesting and entertaining. Someone buy that man a bag of Gummy Bears.

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OSMOTE @osmote.net ⋅ 11h
Screenshot of Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief
brendelbored.bsky.social's user avatarBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 1y
Politico: Ever been slapped by breasts?
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joshuajfriedman.com's user avatar
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com ⋅ 16h
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
The problems with this prosecution are legion, but most immediately, the
government cannot prosecute Judge Dugan because she is entitled to judicial immunity for her official acts. Immunity is not a defense to the prosecution to be determined later by a jury or court; it is an absolute bar to the prosecution at the outset. See Trump v. United States,
603 U.S. 593, 630 (2024).
joshgerstein.bsky.social's user avatarJosh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com

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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 11h
Dumbing of Age: "Up, continued" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
www.dumbingofage.com
Up, continued
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The Onion @theonion.com ⋅ 16h
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
header image - You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
theonion.com
You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored
I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
GOTTEM
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parsnip.bsky.social's user avatar
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
the 90s were a wild time. if i told you how many magazines there were you wouldnt even believe me
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aubreygilleran.bsky.social's user avatar
Aubrey Gilleran @aubreygilleran.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908. "You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
atrupar.com's user avatarAaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 1d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
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catacalypto.bsky.social's user avatar
Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
1984 calendar meme reading 1529, the year of the first Ottoman siege of Vienna
spavel.bsky.social's user avatarPavel🐀 @spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 10d
Who can forget the Swiss-Austrian Union, or its famous capital - Istanbul.
AI generated ad by a company called Travello showing the 10 most visited cities in Europe, except the cities are hilariously poorly placed. London is in Wales, Paris is in Ireland, Rome is in France, Rom (yes like Rome but without an E) is in Spain, Barcelona is in Morocco, Prague is in Germany, Vienna is in Italy, Istanbul is in Austria, Milan is in Libya, and Antalya is correctly shown as in Turkey but is in the wrong place. Also a few of the borders like Switzerland and Austria or Hungary and Slovenia are missing.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
*at the very end of Andor, cassian travels through a vortex that makes everyone look a decade younger*
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
(May 14, 2026)
a bemused lucy watches as somebody collapses on her dorm room floor
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Up" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic #dofa
www.dumbingofage.com
Up
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
i mean i... guess there are people who want toy-accurate hyper-articulated original-toy-look guys but in cartoon colors for some reason
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Fuck you, Clayface!!!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609982... selling my LG34 Mindwipe, minus Servant
header image - Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete | eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Generations TakaraTomy Legends LG34 Wipe (Mindwipe), incomplete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Menace Level: up to date on his vaccinations
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned Gran is back from the grave so she can jerk it to furry porn with her daughter
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23609184... 5 hours left on my 4-jet titans return tidal wave
header image - Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
www.ebay.com
Transformers Siege on Cybertron Titans Return Tidal Wave incomplete, restickered | eBay
Check out those stickers. They make him look pretty great, actually. That aircraft carrier mode shines. Tidal Wave is loose and incomplete! So there's only four (4) jets!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
confirming that the reason there's been no Galaxy Version female characters in Blokees until now is that they felt they needed to make Round Lady Thighs For Ladies
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "For you" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
For you
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
y'know there's not an awful lot of rocketeering in The Rocketeer
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dril.bsky.social's user avatar
wint @dril.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Man if they were arresting judges then this'd be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard but thankfully that's not happening.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Stop making the one toy I want the super-expensive chase, Auldey!!!!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
And that's why you have Jesus wear a condom!
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
It's #webcomicday? We have a special day??? Well, my name is Pat McHoarney and I draw 69 Mouse-Ear Blvd, a multigenerational story about women who all have sexy legs and probably other features. There was a grandmother, but she wasn't hot and so she died off-panel.
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bsweet.bsky.social's user avatar
hoanna newsom @bsweet.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
nytimes.com's user avatarThe New York Times @nytimes.com ⋅ 5d
Elizabeth Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors through her blood-testing company, Theranos. Her partner, Billy Evans, is now trying to raise money for a company that describes itself as “the future of diagnostics.” nyti.ms/3FbtZm9
Elizabeth Holmes and Billy Evans, sitting closely on a couch. A headline reads:
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chrismcfeely.bsky.social's user avatar
Chris McFeely @chrismcfeely.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
That's the most upsetting LEGO Thing minifig possible
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 3d
LEGO Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four: First Steps Fantastic Four vs. Galactus will release June 1st ($59.99) - bit.ly/3F4uRci #ad
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
what's going on with tariffs right now i dunno, what time is it today
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