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Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
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Monsterkind
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Kiwi Blitz
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Widdershins
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Stand Still, Stay Silent
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Paranatural
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Sufficiently Remarkable
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Tigress Queen
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Sam & Fuzzy
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Devil's Candy
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Monster Pulse
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Dumbing of Age
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Look, Dina. I can’t bring you back to life, k? Not without the repayment of a thousand souls and fountains of blood from the enemies of Satan and yaddayaddayadda….. Please, just drop it.
That never works, kind of like ‘switching to manual control’ or ‘ auxiliary power’.
At best, you’ll get ‘inconclusive’ results so you’ll have to beam over an away team, they’ll get infected by evil, then that’ll cause the holodeck to malfunction….etc. etc…etc.
God is Batman. Everyone knows if you can be Batman you should always be Batman. Since God is omnipotent, he obviously has the power to be Batman so God is Batman.
No. If I could be Batman, I wouldn’t be Batman. I don’t want to be batman. Considering he turned down Raven when she was seeking help (I so want the comic in which that actually happened, not just they went over it), Batman has reduced his worth as he gave up an epic opportunity to get to know an awesome person. Despite this, Raven ended up with a number of his kids (Yes, I said it all wrongstyle on purpose). Batman is he who I shall never be.
“As much as it pains me to do this… Mr. Worf, hail Satan.”
“Sir?”
“You know, the Prince of Lies, Lord of the Flies, the Adversary, the Imp, the Archfiend, et cetera.”
“Ah, the ‘devil’. Klingons do not have one.”
“Then who runs your Gre’thor?”
“Volunteers, sir.”
“I… all right.”
“Satan is responding.”
“Onscreen.”
“Jay-L! What up, dog? It’s been forever–well, not forever forever.”
“Your Infernal Highness…”
“Hey-hey! Told ya, it’s ‘Lucy’ to my friends.”
“Very well, then, ah, ‘Lucy.’ We would like to consult with you on a bit of a problem we’ve encountered.”
“Anytime, Jay-L, anytime.”
“We have encountered an entity of considerable power that claims to be, well, God.”
“No shit? Wow, that takes me back. Jim Kirk and his crew used to run across clowns like that all the time. Man, good ol’ Jim Kirk. No offense, buddy, but that was one cat who really knew how to party.”
“Well, ah, that’s nice to know, but with regards to the matter at hand–”
“I’ll ring up the real thing, let him know that another Q-wannabe is trying his hand at identity theft again.”
“You and God… talk?”
“What? Oh, you mean, are we still sore about that old thing? Shit, buddy, that was literally ages ago. Dang, haven’t even thought about the Fall in who knows how long. Yeah, we realized that we’re really in the same business with slightly different market foci and now we get together all the time to talk shop. Well, G-Dog’s son is mostly running things now, but he’s cool too. Yeah, we’ll get this thing straightened out.”
“Well thank you, Your–ah, Lucy.”
“No prob, my man. And needless to say, this one’s on me, although I wouldn’t mind the number of that dark-eyed stunner right next to you.”
“I’m afraid that contact information for my crew is off the–”
“Begging your pardon, sir, but I believe I can speak for myself. Lucy, text me at @Chocoluvr.”
“You got it, babe. Smell ya later, homies.”
“Counselor, did you sense anything in particular during the conversation?”
“Hot damn, sir, did I ever, if you know what I mean.”
“Number One, what did you make of our… friend?”
“Are you kidding, captain? Who do you think gave me the idea for the beard?”
by doing so did he just get Joyce out of a tight spot? Then yes. Joyce’s parents, particularly her mother seems the controlling type, and doing something that gives Joyce more freedom to be her own person is the right thing to do even if you have to lie to do it.
A good litmus test is to notice whether the thing being proposed is utterly ridiculous. Implied proposal: voting for Democrats is a more extreme course of action than ritually slaughtering a child. Verdict: probably sarcasm.
Of course, a text-only medium often works it own ways to convey implication that would normally be shown via tone of voice or body language, doesn’t it?
Republican extremists exist that truly believe what Joyce has been brought up to believe. Verdict: test fail.
I believed an entire paper about a person who was proposing that the poor sell their babies to the rich and that the rich eat them. Vertict: self fail.
Ultimate verdict: Fail.
My trouble is trying to decide if the person is being sarcastic or just hyperbolic. As in, are they kidding or are they just exaggerating their distaste.
You’re implying that voting for Nader is like not voting. I’m saying that that’s the fault of our current voting system, and that changing it to an STV-based system would make it better.
I saw that, last Aussie election. Choices for Prime Minister pretty much came down to 1 guy everyone kinda knew making some decent promises AKA Tony Abbot, or some other guy who nobody knew cause the lady PM was booted by the guy who she booted to get the job in the first place. Tony Abbot won, then did the exact opposite to many of his election promises. Gotta love politics. That’s why I don’t legally exist…
Depends on which Democrats? Staunch easterners? Say, entrenched New York Democrats? Loopy westerners, like maybe San Francisco Democrats? Salt of the earth Midwestern Democrats from Iowa or Minnesota? Or are they mythical creatures, like Texas or Oklahoma Democrats – I’ve heard about them, and know some folks claim to have seen one, but still believe they are creatures of myth, kinda like Bigfoot or unicorns.
Oklahoma Democrats once did exist, but they’re critically endangered.
We’re currently combing the prairie for the last few so we can attempt to breed them in captivity.
As I understand it, Texas Democrats exist too. In Dallas, Austin, and Houston. The rest of that state is more sane.
Note. I did not say sane. I said MORE sane, as in less INsane.
OOOKAY!!! From this comment and below, we have comments on a long chain of messages that got deleted. DO NOT MISINTERPRET THEM. They are simply pending deletion.
… I think I got that? Yiesh, paragraph breaks please! Anyway, my problem is less the happiness aspect, but the lack of care for the future of the now born child, even if you cut off the argument at say, 15. The same party arguing for the life of these children are cutting off education and food stamps, which go to feeding the children and giving them a future. Shouldn’t those things rank higher in the priority list?
Add to that the fact that these same people also tend to rabble in favor of the Death Penalty, and you have a nice stew of hypocrisy that most non-religious people find unpalatable (heck, quite a few religious people do, too).
Yet at the same time their marriage prospects are way slimmer than in Walkyverse. One thing I enjoy about Dumbiverse is that it seriously feels like everyone’s in a college relationship. Not to say their feelings aren’t as strong as a more serious relationship, but there’s just that sense of fun that Walkyverse lacked. Pretty much every relationship in Walyverse just felt end all be all canon. Ambiguity is really nice with this stuff.
Good point. Also worth keeping in mind that their characters are a bit different than in Walkyverse, and they’ve lived through a different set of experiences.
I can’t stand Mike, not because he is horrible person, but because he is barely a character. I cant imagine some like him in real life, not saying the comic isn’t good, just that I particularly hate Mike.
He’s barely even a supporting character in this so you can’t really get much about him. Most of his fans are fans from the other universe, so they apply traits he has in that universe to this one. Even the other universe you either have to be paying serious attention or wait for the Mike/Amber arc or his relationship with Dina during It’s Walky. There are few key moments of his jerkass with a heart of gold personality early on, but it really take center stage and explores his character with Amber. He is pretty similar here, and I still think he’s douchbagging for the side of good over here as well even though ultimately on this side of things he hasn’t been seen nearly as much.
Oh and Dina’s death and the other universe seemed particularly traumatic for him. He and Walky bond a lot a
I find it odd that you say he has a heart of gold in *either* universe, particularly that universe-which-shall-not-be-named-and-which-is-over-anyway, since he spent no time at all being “gold” there for at least ten years.
I’m still firmly convinced that those who see “Hail Satan” Mike as being an angel are doing that ‘Draco in Leather Pants’ thing.
“Heart of gold” is an overstatement, but Walkyverse!Mike showed more than a few times that he wasn’t just a complete asshole. Consider his relationships with Dina and Amber.
I dunno, I absolutely know people who would shout “All Hail Satan” into a friend’s phone when their mother is calling. The only thing that stretches credibility to me is the whole “punching people in the face chaperone” thing. Everything else seems pretty realistic, if a bit one-dimensional.
That being said, there’s hints that he sometimes uses his meanness for what he perceives as “being nice” like here so really YMMV.
(Personally, if I knew him in real life I’m pretty sure I’d be Ethan. Someone he’d stand around and occasionally insult. Either that or I’d avoid him.)
… Now I kinda want one. I’m going to be on so many watch lists because of you guys (the entire comic reading community, not just readers of this particular comic)
He was also kicked below the belt by Joyce. Which is worse probably varies based on how hard she kicked his shin, but given that she was barefoot I’d guess that you’re right.
Huh, it moderates comments if you change your name. Funny, I thought it would only do that if you changed your email. Ah well. Here’s what I wanted to say:
Strike me down now and I will become more powerful than you could ever imagine. There shall be sound. There shall be light. The background will bend. The foreground shall twist. THERE SHALL BE LIFE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
Yeah. I read enough anti-comunist jokes (mostly the same one four times over as I was trying to post) to make me sick and be knocked off balance. Going slightly evil is the only way to regain it before I go too far.
No, but I’m pretty sure Joyce’s parents don’t function on logic the way we do. What was it she said about Dexter and Monkey Master? How many times did they try to keep her away from Dorothy? And remember how they freaked out about the A-word without giving Dorothy a chance to share her redeeming qualities (Like everything about her)?
Finally found the Dexter Monkey master link after loosing every other piece of evidence I lost here… Anyway: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/ruletheworld/
Probably because unlike Catholics, most Protestants don’t believe the bread literally* turns into Jesus-meat – what you heard about them not taking communion was probably distorted from that.
An incredible amount of thought has been put into the question of whether the crackers and wine/grape juice actually do become flesh and blood. And yes, some denominations opt for the more literal interpretation. I’d like to ask one of these people why the blood of Christ tastes like grapes and has an alcohol level that would kill a human. If you want a really confusing answer, ask a Lutheran.
I have an interesting response as well: If you can drink the poisonous blood and live, not only are you taking part in a vampirec act and (hopefully) finding it distasteful, if you like it too much and give in to it, you will die. I know, horrible answer. ^.^ I like it!
We never called them communion wafers in our church, but my catholic friends did. Wild guess that Dean had a similar experience, although I doubt it’s universal.
The Communist party is self described as Atheistic.
The people under the Communist Russian regime had to hold church in secret, unless the local powers-that-be simply turned a blind eye to the practice, which many did.
Communists CLAIM to be atheists, but the ones I’ve had the misfortune to interact with sure seem to believe that Das Kapital is a Holy Book, and Communism is full of Prophets (Marx, Engles) and Martyrs (Che) and the Great Satan (anybody with money who isn’t a Communist).
Yep; Communists certainly can be considered ‘godless’, but not heathens. Hence, ‘godless heathens’ is a rather dumb description (I think it’s a case of tacking on every ‘non-Christian’ label they can find).
@Rycan – pretty much. Although you do seem to get some leway if they actually LIKE you.
#WeStandUnited #CorperationsArePeopleToo #YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe #FAIL #LifeReboot
Okay, so it looks like my comments aren’t fully getting posted, which is annoying because this one I HAVE to say. (Attempt 4/5)
That was unacceptable and inappropriate. You NEVER bring that up. EVER! Do I make myself clear?
No? Then how about this:
The Red Scare is one of the worst times in American history – a time where we attacked our neighbors mercilessly, threw the constitution and all political rights and protections out the window, and a time when art in itself was restricted due to an irrational fear of having spies in our country when the problems were truly in the countries that had to rebuild themselves. There was no right to a fair trial, no protections for those who lost their jobs. We Christianized our money and our pledge of allegiance simply out of fear. This is not okay and never was. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW?!?!
Hmm, I need to start using “/sarcasm” after I write something sarcastic but not obviously so.
My point was supposed to be that the Communists would most likely come closest to being viewed as satanical by Joyce’s parents. Sorry for implying that these views are actually somehow justified. The backlash you refer to certainly wasn’t (glad it was before my time).
You didn’t imply that these views were justified, I just happen to hold a LOT of hate for this era in American history. We didn’t just damage one group we considered “inhuman” or “unworthy”, we attacked artists and neighbors, and we didn’t even bother to change the laws to do so. We just up and ignored them. And in the end we destroyed the lives of many many people who just thought slightly differently.
Even only having seen this time through textbooks, I feel a great amount of distain for this time period. I doubt I could find any joke based on it to be funny, just find myself feeling more emotionally ill than before.
I had several lighter ways of saying what I wanted to say, but they weren’t posting, so I put the heavy one down. And the truth is, that’s how I feel. The Red Scare may just be the darkest period in our history as a country. We didn’t just have inequality, we couldn’t trust our legal system to provide ANY protection. Could you imagine a world like that? Where we could loose our jobs at one word from our neighbors? That world makes me sick, but yet its where the world we live in came from.
Okay, now I think I better understand you. Lemme see if this is right – you were upset that I was making light of a view that at one time had caused a lot of damage and grief. If so, that is understandable.
Unfortunate that your angriest comment was the only one to get posted. Is Mike somehow moderating this forum?
Fortunately, I’m pretty certain that we’ll all get to reenact those days in their full glory sooner rather than later here in the “land of the free” …
In my lifetime we’ve gone from essentially no-security at airports to metal-detectors to full body scans and you can’t bring on a bottle of water …
More importantly, peaceful protests are kept away from ‘important’ political gatherings and sometimes broken up by ‘overzealous’ police …
we have a department of “Homeland Security” … assassination of American citizens has been publicly approved …
You may not find it funny, but the joke’s on all of us … and I see no reason it won’t get a lot funnier after the next large scale terrorist attack …
Ummm Tyersome? We’re not the one’s to grumble at. After all, you guys raised the last one or two generations AND pick what goes in our schools. The least you could do is improve history classes so that you learn with a near-interactive historical setting.
Hi Dina:
The material in brackets was intended as humorous self-deprecation …
…
and even if I was old enough to be responsible for the past two generations I really don’t believe in group responsibility or group uniformity (I doubt you do either) … people my age include war-criminals and civil-rights advocates, geniuses and ignoramuses, billionaires and paupers … I could go on, but I hope the point is clear …
@Tyersome – I don’t. But I do believe in group standards, and we aren’t even working to rise above that. If you bring up the red scare to my classmates, and every one of them was in that class with me, there are too many who simply don’t even know what the Red Scare was. I bet there are some of them who’d think me to be as evil as the communists were precieved to be if they knew what went on in my head.
A cold-war wake up would be nice though. I’d like not to b the only person around me who is actually aware of our history. I may not be able to give names and dates, but at least I understand WHAT happened.
@Dina
I’m not sure what you mean by group standards, but I heartily endorse having standards … the tricky part is what extent we would want to or even could impose them uniformly …
I suspect at least some of your classmates are too freaked out about the fact we have almost certainly set in motion a catastrophic change in climate to worry about ‘ancient’ history (even if they really need to).
As for a cold-war wake up, I’m not sure we can get that a without having a cold-war … and I don’t wish that on anyone … growing up with the idea that you and everyone and everything you knew might be atomized with little or no warning is … traumatic … I’m NOT old enough to remember the Cuban Missile Crisis, but the world came pretty close to the edge … I’ll go the rest of my life surprised we haven’t committed mass suicide …
OKAY!!!!!
1. By cold-war wake up, I meant wake up ABOUT the cold war, not from it.
2. No clue about the rest of them. They seem held up in their own beliefs.
3. All I’m really asking for is acknowledgement and possibly some analysis of these things when put in-front of them. If they are being shown a situation in which people are getting hurt because of whatever reason, that needs to be recognized, considered, and possibly tested. Meet that standard, and the rest will come.
“assassination of American citizens has been publicly approved …”
And you provide a link to other links that talk about the removal of an American who was arguably committing a treasonous act.
Assassination of American citizens has been publicly approved — and practiced — for quite a few years now. One example would be the Rosenbergs, executed for passing nuclear secrets to the Russians. And I’m sure that famed traitor Benedict Arnold would have been dangling from a noose if he hadn’t taken to the hills when he did.
No to mention that we had no problem shooting at those few Americans who joined the Nazis in WWII (Way more of THOSE than there were traitorous Japanese-Americans). Or the Americans who chose the wrong side in the American Civil War.
I don’t have time for an endless political discussion, but I’ll make two observations:
1) Google search results are tailored to the individual
2) Execution ≠ Assassination
As a french, I feel obliged to mention that nothing, nothing, death or tragedy or illness or stupidity, is above the scrutiny of humor. One can, and one should, laugh about everything. Now, maybe one cannot laugh wit everybody…
Seriously, it was heartwarming, all these demonstrations and messages of people from all over democratic countries. Frenchs took it really well and were pleasantly surprised. Never had France stood so united (not even during our 98 win at world’s football cup), and nobody was reading Charlie Hebdo anymore. We take our obscenity very, very seriously.
Typical joke: “- Did you know Le Pen [major extreme-right leader] had some Arab Blood?
– No, really?
– Yes, on his army knife!
– BWAHAHAHAHA”
Reference to Le Pen torturing arabs during the Algeria war.
And MAccarthysm has been the target of black humor endlessly…
I don’t think I can think this is funny though. There’s nothing to laugh at. We acted way out of line, hurt a lot of people, and in the end had little remorse.
I’m not even at a point where I can forgive America for that.
So you don’t find it funny, fine. Why shout at people for alluding to the Red Scare as if you’re an absolute arbiter of what’s appropriate for discussion, though?
Personally, the reaction in my gut to Walky’s joke about child sacrifice is similar to yours concerning McCarthyism, but I think it’s important to take a step back and consider what the person is actually saying first. If you find someone who doesn’t have a problem with McCarthyism, I’d say go ahead and tear into them.
Anyway (because I can’t help myself), if we want to discuss what the darkest part of American history is, I would vote it’s slavery. The Red Scare was greatly unjust, unconstitutional, and ruined the lives of too many people, but in my book these aren’t in the same league as institutionalized racial incarceration and an *unambiguous* rape culture.
Lastly, I would strive to forgive countries for past wrongdoings, whether it’s America for slavery, Germany for the Holocaust, Japan for the rape of Nanking, or Russia for Stalinism. Appealing to empathy works better than putting people on the defensive.
No I did not realize that, however I also wasn’t trying to present myself as having a mental illness. I was trying to present myself as being almost two people – completely separate existences under the same conciousness. Not too different from how we try to manage our different selves in video-games, comic forums, school and family. The only difference is that these personalities are tied to names instead of location.
I can assure you, my point was never to make fun out of the disorder, but to extend myself into multiple people so I could do and say more without as much restriction. If All Hail Dina turns out to be evil, then she will become my medium for expressing my less morally acceptable desires (particularly the ones that pertain to the laugh and my ability to say what I want to say, and let the words fall out. Just what I want to say, I want to see me be brave! [oops, accidental song {Make Mike sing that one please!}]) while Crazy Dina will be my more natural choice of character.
I do see how that can be easily misinterpreted as MPD, as I am basically splitting myself into multiple personalities, but that was never what I intended to reference.
And for your other point –> I tried to type out lighter hearted responses to show that it kinda stung, but after writing it out two or three times, I couldn’t hold the funny any longer. The fact that I have classmates who were right there with me when I was learning about the Red Scare whom have no clue about it doesn’t really help my ability to handle the topic, much less every time we repeat those same patterns.
That’s the point. YOU don’t think it’s funny. Then don’t laugh. Let others enjoy their black humor, because it clearly was. You can be outraged when someone will really think communists are godless heathens.
“There’s nothing to laugh at.”
Of course there is.”You acted way out of line, hurt a lot of people, and in the end had little remorse.” That’s three things to laugh at.
– How do you put 400 Jews in a Volkswagen? In the ashtray.
Jewish humor.
Nothing is sacred enough. And when there’s nothing left but despair, you can always point at despair and laugh.
I’m not even at a point where I can forgive America for that.
Look, I already closed the original thread. can we please put this one to bed too? I went from typing “Too Soon” from a spilling out of why I felt I didn’t want to read stuff like that (Admittedly poorly, but what do you honestly expect), and all of the sudden I’m getting long responses saying I should be okay with it!
And you think I can always point in despair and laugh? I can’t!!! This stuff makes me feel sick inside, a little too close to literally! Seriously, I can feel the prestages of vomit in my throat! (Never do feel anything in my stomach. It’s wierd.) But point is, stop telling me should be okay with it when I’m not and no one is really hurt by my not being so! If Rycan can make those jokes, I can express that I don’t find them funny and that they make me feel a little sick! Seriously, it’s not like I’m deleting her post or anything! YIESH!
You said
“That was unacceptable and inappropriate. You NEVER bring that up. EVER! Do I make myself clear?”
That is wrong. What she said was acceptable and appropriate, on a general meaning: no insults, no obscenity, no pornography. Sure, you didn’t delete her posts, but that’s because you can’t. You tried to impose pressure on her to stop having humor on an idea. THAT is unacceptable and inappropriate.
The correct way to express your disagreement was
“I find that inappropriate and it offends me”.
“And you think I can always point in despair and laugh? I can’t!!”
I didn’t mean YOU should (it was a general you, sorry, not a native english speaker), I meant that possibility should always be open.
And if this type of jokes “they make you feel a little sick”, then my opinion would be that you’re over-sensitive. Especially since this is the Internet.
All Hail Megatron? The 1 I worked for was a pain, especially if he scrapped ya, but the 1 on here doesn’t seem as bad. that said, I flew the ‘Con coup a while ago, never going back…
There’s a scene in… I think Generations, where someone says “fire at will” and in context that means fire at the Enterprise, and Riker is in command because Picard’s off somewhere doing suchandsuch, so they actually fire at Will.
I’m reminded of a scene in Disney’s “tail spin” where Don Carnage says “fire at will!……No, do not fire at Will, he is my first mate. Fire at [the other ship whose name I’m blanking on]!”
Here’s a interesting outlook of Joyce and Becky’s friendship, its a very similar but completely opposite situation of Amber and Ethan’s friendship when Ethan first came out the closet
Not quite, Amber stuck by Ethan for a whole summer before wanting to leave him alone. There hasn’t been much time for Joyce and Becky yet, but we’ll see.
That actually wasn’t being THAT underhanded, so much as blunt to the point, and not giving Joyce’s mom much time to react or do much more than give one terse shot about Mike hailing Hydra, I mean Satan. Walky went for the Baffle and bedazzle card with that stoic straight face (and I am pretty sure a deadpan voice) which I could see very much Sal doing as well. (Or maybe just because of that acting background as a kid being a church mouse and everything, either way)
The line about Democrats just confused me as I grew up in an area where they’re the party of the Christian right. The Pat Robertson evangelical alliance with the Republicans is only a small section of Christianity, even if they’re exclusively catered to.
Right now, both parties are putting a lot of effort into defining the other. The Republicans are trying to paint Democrats as being anti-Christianity, and the Democrats are trying to paint Republicans as being racist.
IMO, the Republicans are doing a fine job of that themselves.
Meanwhile, the Democratic Party’s problem is that, as DSL notes, they don’t really have a definition besides “We’re Not Like Them (Really) (Much)”.
That’s probably because the democrats are a weak conglomerate joined together by the size of the Republican party. Were that party to go, the democrats would fracture and split apart, each choosing their new party based on the next major issue on the list.
I don’t know about Jen, but I was visiting my mother at the Royal Adelaide Hospital to bring her her blanket and laptop so doesn’t get too cold or bored while she’s stuck there.
I’m still having trouble imagining that people like Joyce’s parents actually exist. I figure it’s a little satire on Willis’ part about hard core ‘believers’. I’ve always had friends from every faith and belief system and the subject rarely comes up. I suppose there are some hard core fundies out there, but how they can live in some sort of ‘Bible Bubble’ is beyond me.
Remember how people talked about their being different types of intelligence … the cynic in me says there must be at least twice that many types of stupidity … However, as I age, meet more people, and add to my personal dumb-ass useless no-good crap excretion list I get steadily less willing to be judgmental …
In all seriousness, most of the ‘morons’ aren’t and I’m continually surprised by how common basic decency and even thoughtfulness are. AFAICT, the real problem is how we act en masse …
Good point. Take a lynch mob, for instance. Left alone, most of the people in that mob would never commit murder. But together, they are homicidal. The scary part is when you realize that this means being in the wrong crowd may be all it takes to turn you into a monster.
I know this isn’t fun to contemplate, but it’s useful for understanding ourselves.
The cap would be the parents hunting down and murdering their daughter for marrying someone of a different religion. Known as an “honor killing”. Case happened a while back in Hyderabad close to where I live, involving a Hindu Muslim couple. Incredibly sad and disgusting.
To be more specific, it happens in families of muslim immigrants, mostly of turkish origin afaik. In “native” families, you only have your normal run of the mill murders
I suppose I can see where there isn’t much evidence of her being an atheist, but then there’s no evidence to the contrary. I mean seriously, look at how much Joyce ticked her off right before the Whiteboard Ding Dong Bandit!
I know, I used to think it was some kind of urban legend.
But now I’ve seen the documentaries so I have to admit the likelihood that people as hardcore as Joyce’s parents exist is about the likelihood that the moon landing happened.
Always keep in mind that a lot of Joyce’s character is autobio for Willis. I’m sure a few things are exaggerated slightly for comedic effect, but I wouldn’t assume that he’s just making this shit up.
and thus begins the VERY SLOW journey from Joyce and Walky annoying each other, to becoming friends, then best friends… and hopefully end up somewhat similar to the original universe with them being a couple.
I doubt we’ll ever see Walky/Joyce over here. Willis has avoided repeating any of the same relationships from the Walkyverse, and he’s going to finish up Joyce & Walky soon enough.
Counterpoint: Billie/Ruth. Sure, it was an afterthought in the original, but it was in the original, and it’s here to stay now. Also, there’s WalkyxDorothy, whose existence in the Walkyverse was an important plot point (or so I’ve heard). Honestly though, WalkyxDorothy needs a chance. It was kind of, blasted, in the old ‘verse (also, I can’t wait for the J&W! strips to be freeshared. I’m a starving college student for Christ’s sake!)
Counter-counterpoint: Billie/Ruth focus allows us to explore one of the missed opportunities of the Walkyverse. It’s different from having, say, Danny and Billie hook up again.
I’m not gonna spoil anything, but Walky/Dorothy in the Walkyverse is way different than what it is in DoA.
Billie/Ruth wasn’t really in the original. It was retconned in towards the end of IW!, after one of them was dead and the other had hooked up with Danny, which doesn’t really leave much room for exploring the idea.
And hey! The biggest Harry Potter fans I know are Christian. Not all Christians are these crusty old white folks who hate anything magic related while hypocritically seeing nothing wrong with The Wizard of Oz.
The only “good” magic in Narnia come from Aslan/Jesus and possibly St Nick. I think in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader; there’s a spot where Lucy uses a magic book she finds (power not proved from Aslan) to know what her best friend thinks of her. It isn’t nice, and Aslan lectures her for trying to learn things she isn’t supposed to know and tells her how she can’t act on that knowledge anyway.
Mike is my favorite always has been since Walkyverse. Loved he phone pickup.
Walky channels Sal. Smooth move guy.
Yes, these people exist. in my sr. year in high school, I girl I knew only slightly, asked if she could sign my year book. She was very shy and dressed way out of the going style. Long sleeved high necked sweaters or shirts and skirts or dresses to her ankles. No jewelry or makeup.
She said she was asking to sign peoples books so she would maybe be remembered, her picture had been left out of the yearbook.
She also told me that the day she graduated she was leaving town on the Grayhound bus that would take her as far away as she could get.
She said her parents had never let her wear anything but what they and the church approved. She owned no music, no books and no personal belongings but her Bible. She was allowed no friends to visit but those that belonged to the church.
She said she told me this because I had never laughed at her or made fun of her in any way, and she wanted me to know. She wanted to be remembered.
I never felt so sorry for someone in my whole life, I had no idea what to say. I just hugged her (never did that usually) and wished her luck.
Sounds like she might have been a 7th Day Adventist. They can get pretty strict, don’t celebrate birthdays, Christmas, or the secular holidays such as Thanksgiving, dress very plainly (Dependent upon the local church), and stay home and do not shop or work on Saturday.
We have a good number of 7th Day Adventists in the area I grew up in. They have a small town (Keene, TX) where many live. It’s interesting to go into their little grocery store. It’s vegetarian, and doesn’t sell chocolate. Carob, yes, because it doesn’t contain caffeine.
For some, this works. For others, it doesn’t. For me, it never would work, so I’m glad my parents weren’t 7th Day Adventists. But I try not to judge other peoples’ faith and beliefs. I hope she found something that worked for her.
Huh, that even means she can avoid calling for a little bit by pretending Walky and Mike never told her she called. (I guess she’d also have to pretend Dorothy wasn’t there, but it’s doable! Time bought!)
I think it’s a shame that we can’t see Dorothy’s face as well as Joyce’s during this strip.
“Ohshitohshitohshit, poor Joyce. I have to act. I have to think of a plan to defuse the situation and reconcile her with her mother. But would it be right of me to step in, after all I’m an atheist and would maybe just make things worse? On the other hand… WAIT!!! What is Walky doing? Oh no, he’s such an idiot and is going to make it all worse. I’m going to kill… He’s making it better? He’s fixing the situation? He’s helping Joyce?…
…I need to schedule a… “recreation” break with him today…”
Well if “Jesus is the reason for the season”, then obviously Santa Claus is a Satanist plant to distract us from the true meaning of Christmas and worship the almighty dollar or something (that
Nearly everything Mike has done teaches another character a point that they had been mostly ignoring or avoiding. I didn’t see how Mike’s action here did that, so I was hoping it got ‘reversed’.
So… I do want this arc to keep moving forward, but I also think it would be totally hilarious if these two strips started a running gag where Joyce never gets to answer her phone all day. Maybe next time it rings, Dorothy picks it up and tells Mrs. Brown about her impending presidency.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it!
also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
wilbur, savvy enough to know he's in a comic strip but still not a great actor, awkwardly lifts a muffin up into frame so that we, the audience, understand that he has a muffin right now, which is very important narratively, but he's not really selling it well as an organic, human action
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 20h
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 2d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 11d
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All hail Satan.
Already done…
Has he responded?
My profile picture was changed yesterday, and it wasn’t me.
So… you two are tight then?
Look, Dina. I can’t bring you back to life, k? Not without the repayment of a thousand souls and fountains of blood from the enemies of Satan and yaddayaddayadda….. Please, just drop it.
But she’s already back from the dead….
You think Willis just goes about raising people from the dead? Without a price?
Dina died??
Re: Ali
Walkyverse Dina died back in It’s Walky and then showed up somehow alive for the Shortpacked! finale.
There was a price. A horrible price. SOGGIES MAY RULE
the price was soggies
oh god
soggies
Then you better make Carol and the rest of them friggen immortal, cause I’m NOT sharing my eternity with people who don’t believe in science.
1000 souls? Does that cost more or less than 5,000 GP worth of diamond dust?
What do you think is IN the diamond dust??
Poor dinosaur souls…
I’d have thought Mike was more of Hail Hydra kind of guy.
Yes, but he also knows that Mrs. Brown has no idea what Hydra is.
That’s just what he wants them to think… right? Right?
LMAO
We tried hailing him, captain, but Satan wont respond. Shall we scan his ship for any life forms?
That never works, kind of like ‘switching to manual control’ or ‘ auxiliary power’.
At best, you’ll get ‘inconclusive’ results so you’ll have to beam over an away team, they’ll get infected by evil, then that’ll cause the holodeck to malfunction….etc. etc…etc.
Meh; make it so, Number One. We can always fix whatever happens by reversing the polarity of the main deflector.
Wait, wait… bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish first!
Excuse me, but switching SCE to AUX absolutely worked, and allowed Apollo XII to continue.
There’s a difference between Star Trek and actual space exploration. One is ruled by cliches, while the other is governed by the laws of physics.
But which one turns out to be which may surprise you.
NO! YOU DON’T SCAN FOR LIFEFORMS ON SATAN’S SHIP! *facepalm* You clearly scan for death forms.
Negative. Set a course for the center of the Galaxy so we can find evil beardo god to kick his ass as per Star Trek 5: The terrible one.
Why does God need a spaceship?
He doesn’t. He, like Batman, can breathe in space.
But if you were omnipotent and were not constrained by such mortal concerns as “budgets,” would you NOT have a space ship?
God is Batman. Everyone knows if you can be Batman you should always be Batman. Since God is omnipotent, he obviously has the power to be Batman so God is Batman.
No. If I could be Batman, I wouldn’t be Batman. I don’t want to be batman. Considering he turned down Raven when she was seeking help (I so want the comic in which that actually happened, not just they went over it), Batman has reduced his worth as he gave up an epic opportunity to get to know an awesome person. Despite this, Raven ended up with a number of his kids (Yes, I said it all wrongstyle on purpose). Batman is he who I shall never be.
Same reason middle-aged men buy classic Corvettes, really.
Why does God need a spaceship?.
*Shoots energy beams at Fogel from eyes…*
I looked it up, sorry…
Sorry man, but God doesn’t need a spaceship. He needs a TIMESHIP! Let’s see. I’m thinking the 60s and the 90s.
Launch hail-filled torpedoes. If it doesn’t prompt a reply, at least it’ll prompt laughter…
Just send over a couple of red shirts to check it out.
Does the Universal Translator work for Abyssal and Infernal? Try soaking the communiations array in goat’s blood.
“As much as it pains me to do this… Mr. Worf, hail Satan.”
“Sir?”
“You know, the Prince of Lies, Lord of the Flies, the Adversary, the Imp, the Archfiend, et cetera.”
“Ah, the ‘devil’. Klingons do not have one.”
“Then who runs your Gre’thor?”
“Volunteers, sir.”
“I… all right.”
“Satan is responding.”
“Onscreen.”
“Jay-L! What up, dog? It’s been forever–well, not forever forever.”
“Your Infernal Highness…”
“Hey-hey! Told ya, it’s ‘Lucy’ to my friends.”
“Very well, then, ah, ‘Lucy.’ We would like to consult with you on a bit of a problem we’ve encountered.”
“Anytime, Jay-L, anytime.”
“We have encountered an entity of considerable power that claims to be, well, God.”
“No shit? Wow, that takes me back. Jim Kirk and his crew used to run across clowns like that all the time. Man, good ol’ Jim Kirk. No offense, buddy, but that was one cat who really knew how to party.”
“Well, ah, that’s nice to know, but with regards to the matter at hand–”
“I’ll ring up the real thing, let him know that another Q-wannabe is trying his hand at identity theft again.”
“You and God… talk?”
“What? Oh, you mean, are we still sore about that old thing? Shit, buddy, that was literally ages ago. Dang, haven’t even thought about the Fall in who knows how long. Yeah, we realized that we’re really in the same business with slightly different market foci and now we get together all the time to talk shop. Well, G-Dog’s son is mostly running things now, but he’s cool too. Yeah, we’ll get this thing straightened out.”
“Well thank you, Your–ah, Lucy.”
“No prob, my man. And needless to say, this one’s on me, although I wouldn’t mind the number of that dark-eyed stunner right next to you.”
“I’m afraid that contact information for my crew is off the–”
“Begging your pardon, sir, but I believe I can speak for myself. Lucy, text me at @Chocoluvr.”
“You got it, babe. Smell ya later, homies.”
“Counselor, did you sense anything in particular during the conversation?”
“Hot damn, sir, did I ever, if you know what I mean.”
“Number One, what did you make of our… friend?”
“Are you kidding, captain? Who do you think gave me the idea for the beard?”
LOL!!! PLEASE don’t give me away as I sit in the back of the library reading this! Too funny man. Too funny.
Nicely done…
*slow clap*
Fantastic.
Yes.
Explains how you managed to comment before Jen Aside
Walky…Walky, don’t do that.
You’re a real hero, Walky.
Real heroes lie to their friends parents all the time.
by doing so did he just get Joyce out of a tight spot? Then yes. Joyce’s parents, particularly her mother seems the controlling type, and doing something that gives Joyce more freedom to be her own person is the right thing to do even if you have to lie to do it.
They really do
No kidding – if you tell your friends’ parents about your secret identity, then you don’t have a secret identity.
I’m just here, rooting for the OTP to end all OTPs.
Walky to the rescue! Who’da thunk?
Will Walky become the anti-Mike?
Amazi-girl might lose some business if he gets a mask and cape.
and if danny keeps it up, she will loose other buisness. Caramel colored boy heroes are in this year ive heard
No cape.
Counterpoint.
a real human bean
What’s Leslie got to do with this?
Mike the destroyer and Walky the Savior.
He’s a sandwich?
Whoa, Walky, let’s not get carried away here. Sacrifice the child first, then see if you’ve calmed down.
EXCUSE ME! >.> Voting Democrat is not THAT bad!
Not surprised sarcasm was lost on Dina.
… Sorry, where’s the sarcasm? I can’t even tell satire if it’s too dry.
#IFail
A good litmus test is to notice whether the thing being proposed is utterly ridiculous. Implied proposal: voting for Democrats is a more extreme course of action than ritually slaughtering a child. Verdict: probably sarcasm.
Of course, a text-only medium often works it own ways to convey implication that would normally be shown via tone of voice or body language, doesn’t it?
Yeah, not even that helps me sometimes. #IFail
True. While these “emoticon” things do help tho, they’re not always enough to bridge communications gaps…
But it can still be fun posting them
:3 
XD :$
:c>
:dc>
:c>
:dc>
Yum.
:c>
:pc>
:qc>
:c>
:pc>
:qc>
Yum.
Republican extremists exist that truly believe what Joyce has been brought up to believe. Verdict: test fail.
I believed an entire paper about a person who was proposing that the poor sell their babies to the rich and that the rich eat them. Vertict: self fail.
Ultimate verdict: Fail.
Poe’s Law – it is impossible to create a parody of extremism or fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing.
The big joke here is that that second example is literally A Modest Proposal summarized. You know, the big go-to example for what satire is.
Solenoid, it’s no joke. I actually believed the author believed what he wrote.
Ah, Johnathan Swift. I think A Modest Proposal must be over 200 years old now, right?
Yeah but they wouldn’t be reading this comic, would they?
… That does NOT mean others like that aren’t. Nor does it mean I could tell.
Yeah I’m just saying maybe you’re taking the good doctor a bit too seriously.
Also consider whether or not that attitude would be out of character for the poster (really only works for a regular commentor, though).
And people who are good at name recognition. That is not me. At least I don’t have to try to memorize that AND faces at the same time.
My trouble is trying to decide if the person is being sarcastic or just hyperbolic. As in, are they kidding or are they just exaggerating their distaste.
It is not that bad….it can be worse! *snerks* But then, so is voting Republican!
That’s why I always vote Anarchy.
Vote Nader?
Vote Odin. He got rid of the ice giants.
I need some posterboard and a Sharpie so I can make things that say that FER REALZ
OH THANK GOD THAT SAYS FER REALZ!!!! I READ REAL FAZ! O.O
So, What Tesla727 said, but without the sarcasm?
Vote For Pedro?
(Bonus points if you know where this is from…)
That’s hilarious. I don’t know what that is, but I helped a customer whose wifi was called “Vote For Pedro” today. Neat!
Pedro, from Excel Saga. A crazy Anime, a bit random but funny none the less…
Nader for… Anarchy?
So you don’t vote?
*AHEM* STV *AHEM HEM* Sorry, frog in my throat.
I looked that up… still not sure what you’re trying to hide that you’re saying.
You’re implying that voting for Nader is like not voting. I’m saying that that’s the fault of our current voting system, and that changing it to an STV-based system would make it better.
What? NO! I was saying that Voting Anarchy was not voting. Cause you know, anarchy.
That is always the better option.
It’s been ages since any significant number of Aussies have voted for the Democrats, these days it’s the Greens or some of the independents.
I saw that, last Aussie election. Choices for Prime Minister pretty much came down to 1 guy everyone kinda knew making some decent promises AKA Tony Abbot, or some other guy who nobody knew cause the lady PM was booted by the guy who she booted to get the job in the first place. Tony Abbot won, then did the exact opposite to many of his election promises. Gotta love politics. That’s why I don’t legally exist…
…Well, that & being an alien from another planet…
Spaceship people are still more welcome than boat people in Australia though.
Depends on which Democrats? Staunch easterners? Say, entrenched New York Democrats? Loopy westerners, like maybe San Francisco Democrats? Salt of the earth Midwestern Democrats from Iowa or Minnesota? Or are they mythical creatures, like Texas or Oklahoma Democrats – I’ve heard about them, and know some folks claim to have seen one, but still believe they are creatures of myth, kinda like Bigfoot or unicorns.
Oklahoma Democrats once did exist, but they’re critically endangered.
We’re currently combing the prairie for the last few so we can attempt to breed them in captivity.
As I understand it, Texas Democrats exist too. In Dallas, Austin, and Houston. The rest of that state is more sane.
Note. I did not say sane. I said MORE sane, as in less INsane.
and if it weren’t for a certain Texas Democrat, these conservation efforts would be unnecessary.
To be fair, that crew also cares deeply about the brain-dead.
There’s a joke there, but I’m not touching it.
OOOKAY!!! From this comment and below, we have comments on a long chain of messages that got deleted. DO NOT MISINTERPRET THEM. They are simply pending deletion.
Darn, did not stick where I thought it would. Never mind me, I’m failing here.
… I think I got that? Yiesh, paragraph breaks please! Anyway, my problem is less the happiness aspect, but the lack of care for the future of the now born child, even if you cut off the argument at say, 15. The same party arguing for the life of these children are cutting off education and food stamps, which go to feeding the children and giving them a future. Shouldn’t those things rank higher in the priority list?
Add to that the fact that these same people also tend to rabble in favor of the Death Penalty, and you have a nice stew of hypocrisy that most non-religious people find unpalatable (heck, quite a few religious people do, too).
I’m surprised she didn’t deck mike tbh
Looks like being a teenage churchmouse helped Walky learn to fend off religious nuts.
My thought exactly!
He also seems good at lying to overbearing mothers for some completely incomprehensible reason…
Walky’s making progress!
progress? Did Walky not used to be able to helpfully lie to other peoples parents?
More that he’s trying to help Joyce rather than just ridicule her.
Walky handling a situation with tact and cunning? That’s new.
walky-joyce rises from the murky depths
Yet at the same time their marriage prospects are way slimmer than in Walkyverse. One thing I enjoy about Dumbiverse is that it seriously feels like everyone’s in a college relationship. Not to say their feelings aren’t as strong as a more serious relationship, but there’s just that sense of fun that Walkyverse lacked. Pretty much every relationship in Walyverse just felt end all be all canon. Ambiguity is really nice with this stuff.
Good point. Also worth keeping in mind that their characters are a bit different than in Walkyverse, and they’ve lived through a different set of experiences.
Nonono, not child sacrifice per se, you’re supposed to eat a baby.
Boiled in its own tears, that’s how I eat mine. Sometimes some puppy stew on the side, but only on rare occasions (When Bush was elected).
I’m sure they still have Sugar Babies at the candy aisle of 11-11, eh?
Never heard of ’em. Care for a Jelly Baby?
Mmmmm, Jelly Babies…
Is 11-11 like a 7-11, only more intense?
No, less intense, their only open twelve hours, not fifteen.
Alfred Belmer approves of this.
Our new Baby Lean is pre-starved and has 60% less fat than other brands! Try it today in the baby isle!
Jelly-babies I hope, ideally the orange ones.
Orange ones and clear ones are the best.
Soylent Green : A democrat’s choice.
“His power is very real.”
He does NOT mean Satan.
He means Mike.
power over you lesser people maybe
And your welcome Joyce
Well that’ll teach Joyce for this: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/looking-2/
Actions always have consequences
Around Mike, consequences have actions.
Around Mike, consequences are actions.
But Mike likes unnecessary roughness…
Do we really think Mike wouldn’t have done that if Joyce hadn’t kicked him?
I can’t stand Mike, not because he is horrible person, but because he is barely a character. I cant imagine some like him in real life, not saying the comic isn’t good, just that I particularly hate Mike.
if you want to see him with more character read ShortPacked, though it takes a long time for that to happen there as well…
He’s barely even a supporting character in this so you can’t really get much about him. Most of his fans are fans from the other universe, so they apply traits he has in that universe to this one. Even the other universe you either have to be paying serious attention or wait for the Mike/Amber arc or his relationship with Dina during It’s Walky. There are few key moments of his jerkass with a heart of gold personality early on, but it really take center stage and explores his character with Amber. He is pretty similar here, and I still think he’s douchbagging for the side of good over here as well even though ultimately on this side of things he hasn’t been seen nearly as much.
Oh and Dina’s death and the other universe seemed particularly traumatic for him. He and Walky bond a lot a
Spoiler alert.
I find it odd that you say he has a heart of gold in *either* universe, particularly that universe-which-shall-not-be-named-and-which-is-over-anyway, since he spent no time at all being “gold” there for at least ten years.
I’m still firmly convinced that those who see “Hail Satan” Mike as being an angel are doing that ‘Draco in Leather Pants’ thing.
“Heart of gold” is an overstatement, but Walkyverse!Mike showed more than a few times that he wasn’t just a complete asshole. Consider his relationships with Dina and Amber.
Mike is more ‘Jerkass has a Point.’ (He’s on that TV Trope page.)
Mike is a plot device that became sentient. I can’t explain why, but sometimes I find him hilarious anyways.
He is indeed a deus ex machina – or maybe that should be diabolus ex machina.
Maybe Willis has more planned for him.
I dunno, I absolutely know people who would shout “All Hail Satan” into a friend’s phone when their mother is calling. The only thing that stretches credibility to me is the whole “punching people in the face chaperone” thing. Everything else seems pretty realistic, if a bit one-dimensional.
That being said, there’s hints that he sometimes uses his meanness for what he perceives as “being nice” like here so really YMMV.
(Personally, if I knew him in real life I’m pretty sure I’d be Ethan. Someone he’d stand around and occasionally insult. Either that or I’d avoid him.)
I’m guessing you’re new to this internet thing.
Well they sure ain’t getting together, Thank God.
Who, Mike and Joyce’s mom?
Joyce’s mom has standards, she requires TWO nickels
she will also accept that corresponding value in wafers.
Is she trying to nickle and dime him? Who coined that phrase, anyway?
So, she insists on overpaying Mike?
We never did establish which one of them was the prostitute and which one was the prostitee, did we?
I was talking about Joyce and Walky, ass.
He can just go play Goat Sacrifice Simulator.
I would play that, but I always get outbid on the Sacrificial Knife controllers on eBay.
Note to self: market demand exists for sacrificial dagger controllers.
Yes, but what about the market supply?
I think Disloyal Subject is going to take care of that pretty soon.
… Now I kinda want one. I’m going to be on so many watch lists because of you guys (the entire comic reading community, not just readers of this particular comic)
You can always use the keyboard controls but they’re just not as accurate.
Mike sure likes playing with fire…..has he ever been clobbered for his antics?
This one hasn’t so far. Walkyverse Mike used to get his ass kicked on a semi-regular basis, never really bothered him.
To be fair, Walkyverse Mike had superpowers. To our knowledge, Dumbiverse Mike does not have the same advantage
doesnt mean like in the walkyverse he likes pain
He certainly seems to: link and link
Most he’s gotten in this universe is slightly roughed up by Amazi-girl.
It turned him on.
He was also kicked below the belt by Joyce. Which is worse probably varies based on how hard she kicked his shin, but given that she was barefoot I’d guess that you’re right.
He has been shin-kicked by Joyce.
This is the most perfect thing ever. Best thing since your Batman Shortpacked! strips (not that these are bad, just, Batman).
That… that was actually pretty nice of Walky.
He I think might still feel bad for being dicky earlier to her.
“Don’t look into it too much” is the follow up theme of this strip
The ship cares not for this warning.
Man, I’m loving no-nonsense competent Walky. Here’s hoping we see more of that.
Yes Walky…join the dark side…The Democrats! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
… All fear Yotomoe.
Huh, it moderates comments if you change your name. Funny, I thought it would only do that if you changed your email. Ah well. Here’s what I wanted to say:
… All fear Yotomoe.
Maybe it’s your computer because I can see both of your comments.
Yeah, it seemed to accept it pretty quickly. But then, Willis is on already.
Changing your info makes it seem like a new account, new accounts always have their first posts require approval.
I am the only one scared by dina’s new split personality
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Yes. Yes you are.
Burn The Witch
She turned me into a newt! (I got better)
Strike me down now and I will become more powerful than you could ever imagine. There shall be sound. There shall be light. The background will bend. The foreground shall twist. THERE SHALL BE LIFE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA
Change in plans Blow her up
Naa, I’m enjoying the show…
…Plus I’m off the roster for today…
“off the roster”? You guys have been watching me?
All Hail Dina
February 4, 2015 at 8:33 pm
Of course they are sweetie. Why else would I exist? >:)
O.O THAT JUST HAPPENED!!! That just happened, that just happened that just happened!!!!! O.O
Naaa, not watching ya, just between make-things-go-BOOM-bang-bang-bang jobs…
…Tho I am finding these new behaviors curious. Are they normal? something did happen…
Yeah. I read enough anti-comunist jokes (mostly the same one four times over as I was trying to post) to make me sick and be knocked off balance. Going slightly evil is the only way to regain it before I go too far.
All Hail Dina
February 5, 2015 at 8:13 pm
Oh don’t you wish that were all?
Crazy Dina
February 5, 2015 at 8:13 pm
Yes, yes I do. And now I’m talking to myself. *sigh*.
Wait what? I only posted TWO links in that! How was that too many?
Our Deathstar is solar powered
There are too many dark sides. I think I’ll stick in the grey soup where it’s safe.
You’re a good friend, David Walkerton. A good, child sacrificing friend.
Nothin’ wrong with a little sacrifice, right?
Christians know someone who sacrificed their child. They worship him.
And Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all stem from from some guy who very nearly sacrificed his own son.
if its for the right cause. incidentily only 1 cause can pardon it
Almost perfect, Walky, but you missed an opportunity to say your line.
what will wiigii help in this situation
That line seems to be exclusive to the Walkyverse
“All the good things we do are God workin’ through us!“
But now Joyce’s mom thinks that she’s associating with Catholics! That’s almost as bad!
There is nothing specifically Catholic about what Walky said.
No, but I’m pretty sure Joyce’s parents don’t function on logic the way we do. What was it she said about Dexter and Monkey Master? How many times did they try to keep her away from Dorothy? And remember how they freaked out about the A-word without giving Dorothy a chance to share her redeeming qualities (Like everything about her)?
Finally found the Dexter Monkey master link after loosing every other piece of evidence I lost here… Anyway: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/ruletheworld/
*used
i remember those things because i wrote them
How many months ago?!?!
It took me until I was 28 to learn that Protestants took communion. I had no idea.
Probably because unlike Catholics, most Protestants don’t believe the bread literally* turns into Jesus-meat – what you heard about them not taking communion was probably distorted from that.
*for certain definitions of “literally”
O.O Now I’m scared, disgusted, and interested all at the same time. Tell me more please.
An incredible amount of thought has been put into the question of whether the crackers and wine/grape juice actually do become flesh and blood. And yes, some denominations opt for the more literal interpretation. I’d like to ask one of these people why the blood of Christ tastes like grapes and has an alcohol level that would kill a human. If you want a really confusing answer, ask a Lutheran.
I have an interesting response as well: If you can drink the poisonous blood and live, not only are you taking part in a vampirec act and (hopefully) finding it distasteful, if you like it too much and give in to it, you will die.
I know, horrible answer. ^.^ I like it!
Protestants take communion? Wow, I genuinely had no idea. I somehow thought that the transubstantiation was the whole point of communion.
We never called them communion wafers in our church, but my catholic friends did. Wild guess that Dean had a similar experience, although I doubt it’s universal.
Primus! Your fleshing religions are so complicated.
I know, eh Megsy? Primus made us (he he, that rhymes :P), Unicron wants to eat everything. Simple…
I’ve taken communion wafers at a Southern Baptist church… So yeah… 100% agree.
Nonononono! If you wanted to be a proper satanist, you’d vote for the Green party! DUH!
Nope, it would be the Communists, because they’re all godless,
*godless heathens
Heathens are FAR from godless, they had a whole pantheon of their own, with Odin, Freya, Frig, Thor, Baldur, Loki…
For some reason, I thought that was how people actually used to describe Communists. I could easily be wrong, having been born after the USSR fell.
You are correct that some people did … surprisingly people are wrong all the time!
Well, at least my memory is good. Yay?
Neh. Ignorance is bliss, so a good memory is Evil. Just ask the fundies. But carefully, they tend to lash out if anyone breaks their bliss
The Communist party is self described as Atheistic.
The people under the Communist Russian regime had to hold church in secret, unless the local powers-that-be simply turned a blind eye to the practice, which many did.
Here’s a little info if you’re interested.
http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/128810?sid=21105254602911&uid=3739256&uid=2&uid=3739920&uid=4
Communists CLAIM to be atheists, but the ones I’ve had the misfortune to interact with sure seem to believe that Das Kapital is a Holy Book, and Communism is full of Prophets (Marx, Engles) and Martyrs (Che) and the Great Satan (anybody with money who isn’t a Communist).
Yep; Communists certainly can be considered ‘godless’, but not heathens. Hence, ‘godless heathens’ is a rather dumb description (I think it’s a case of tacking on every ‘non-Christian’ label they can find).
@Rycan – pretty much. Although you do seem to get some leway if they actually LIKE you.
#WeStandUnited #CorperationsArePeopleToo #YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe #FAIL #LifeReboot
Okay, so it looks like my comments aren’t fully getting posted, which is annoying because this one I HAVE to say. (Attempt 4/5)
That was unacceptable and inappropriate. You NEVER bring that up. EVER! Do I make myself clear?
No? Then how about this:
The Red Scare is one of the worst times in American history – a time where we attacked our neighbors mercilessly, threw the constitution and all political rights and protections out the window, and a time when art in itself was restricted due to an irrational fear of having spies in our country when the problems were truly in the countries that had to rebuild themselves. There was no right to a fair trial, no protections for those who lost their jobs. We Christianized our money and our pledge of allegiance simply out of fear. This is not okay and never was. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW?!?!
Hmm, I need to start using “/sarcasm” after I write something sarcastic but not obviously so.
My point was supposed to be that the Communists would most likely come closest to being viewed as satanical by Joyce’s parents. Sorry for implying that these views are actually somehow justified. The backlash you refer to certainly wasn’t (glad it was before my time).
You didn’t imply that these views were justified, I just happen to hold a LOT of hate for this era in American history. We didn’t just damage one group we considered “inhuman” or “unworthy”, we attacked artists and neighbors, and we didn’t even bother to change the laws to do so. We just up and ignored them. And in the end we destroyed the lives of many many people who just thought slightly differently.
Even only having seen this time through textbooks, I feel a great amount of distain for this time period. I doubt I could find any joke based on it to be funny, just find myself feeling more emotionally ill than before.
I had several lighter ways of saying what I wanted to say, but they weren’t posting, so I put the heavy one down. And the truth is, that’s how I feel. The Red Scare may just be the darkest period in our history as a country. We didn’t just have inequality, we couldn’t trust our legal system to provide ANY protection. Could you imagine a world like that? Where we could loose our jobs at one word from our neighbors? That world makes me sick, but yet its where the world we live in came from.
Okay, now I think I better understand you. Lemme see if this is right – you were upset that I was making light of a view that at one time had caused a lot of damage and grief. If so, that is understandable.
Unfortunate that your angriest comment was the only one to get posted. Is Mike somehow moderating this forum?
Yes. Yes to all of it.
He broke the fourth wall – it was bound to happen sometime. After all, he can’t let THESE characters go unMiked. Yes, Mike’s been verbed.
Good. I’ll let this issue rest for now.
Fortunately, I’m pretty certain that we’ll all get to reenact those days in their full glory sooner rather than later here in the “land of the free” …
In my lifetime we’ve gone from essentially no-security at airports to metal-detectors to full body scans and you can’t bring on a bottle of water …
More importantly, peaceful protests are kept away from ‘important’ political gatherings and sometimes broken up by ‘overzealous’ police …
we have a department of “Homeland Security” …
assassination of American citizens has been publicly approved …
You may not find it funny, but the joke’s on all of us … and I see no reason it won’t get a lot funnier after the next large scale terrorist attack …
You’re a ray of sunshine today, aren’t you? More so than me, which is something.
Yeah, I’m kind of in full on rant mode aren’t I … maybe I’ll wake up on the right side of the bed if I actually go get some sleep
[crazy old fart wanders off to bed grumbling about young folks these days not having any sense of history]
Ummm Tyersome? We’re not the one’s to grumble at. After all, you guys raised the last one or two generations AND pick what goes in our schools. The least you could do is improve history classes so that you learn with a near-interactive historical setting.
Hey, we’ve had near-interactive lessons on the Vietnam War, the Great Depression, and I hear they’re planning a new lesson on the Cold War!
Hi Dina:
The material in brackets was intended as humorous self-deprecation …
…
and even if I was old enough to be responsible for the past two generations I really don’t believe in group responsibility or group uniformity (I doubt you do either) … people my age include war-criminals and civil-rights advocates, geniuses and ignoramuses, billionaires and paupers … I could go on, but I hope the point is clear …
@Rycan:
I really wish I had posted something like that!
Since my sense of humor seems to be broken right now, I’m going to go and get some work done.
@Tyersome – I don’t. But I do believe in group standards, and we aren’t even working to rise above that. If you bring up the red scare to my classmates, and every one of them was in that class with me, there are too many who simply don’t even know what the Red Scare was. I bet there are some of them who’d think me to be as evil as the communists were precieved to be if they knew what went on in my head.
A cold-war wake up would be nice though. I’d like not to b the only person around me who is actually aware of our history. I may not be able to give names and dates, but at least I understand WHAT happened.
@Dina
I’m not sure what you mean by group standards, but I heartily endorse having standards … the tricky part is what extent we would want to or even could impose them uniformly …
I suspect at least some of your classmates are too freaked out about the fact we have almost certainly set in motion a catastrophic change in climate to worry about ‘ancient’ history (even if they really need to).
As for a cold-war wake up, I’m not sure we can get that a without having a cold-war … and I don’t wish that on anyone … growing up with the idea that you and everyone and everything you knew might be atomized with little or no warning is … traumatic … I’m NOT old enough to remember the Cuban Missile Crisis, but the world came pretty close to the edge … I’ll go the rest of my life surprised we haven’t committed mass suicide …
OKAY!!!!!
1. By cold-war wake up, I meant wake up ABOUT the cold war, not from it.
2. No clue about the rest of them. They seem held up in their own beliefs.
3. All I’m really asking for is acknowledgement and possibly some analysis of these things when put in-front of them. If they are being shown a situation in which people are getting hurt because of whatever reason, that needs to be recognized, considered, and possibly tested. Meet that standard, and the rest will come.
“assassination of American citizens has been publicly approved …”
And you provide a link to other links that talk about the removal of an American who was arguably committing a treasonous act.
Assassination of American citizens has been publicly approved — and practiced — for quite a few years now. One example would be the Rosenbergs, executed for passing nuclear secrets to the Russians. And I’m sure that famed traitor Benedict Arnold would have been dangling from a noose if he hadn’t taken to the hills when he did.
No to mention that we had no problem shooting at those few Americans who joined the Nazis in WWII (Way more of THOSE than there were traitorous Japanese-Americans). Or the Americans who chose the wrong side in the American Civil War.
I don’t have time for an endless political discussion, but I’ll make two observations:
1) Google search results are tailored to the individual
2) Execution ≠ Assassination
Dear Crazy Dina,
As a french, I feel obliged to mention that nothing, nothing, death or tragedy or illness or stupidity, is above the scrutiny of humor. One can, and one should, laugh about everything. Now, maybe one cannot laugh wit everybody…
Well said. And since you’re French…
#SpiritOfCharlieHebdo
And we love you too, Random Citizen!
Seriously, it was heartwarming, all these demonstrations and messages of people from all over democratic countries. Frenchs took it really well and were pleasantly surprised. Never had France stood so united (not even during our 98 win at world’s football cup), and nobody was reading Charlie Hebdo anymore. We take our obscenity very, very seriously.
Typical joke: “- Did you know Le Pen [major extreme-right leader] had some Arab Blood?
– No, really?
– Yes, on his army knife!
– BWAHAHAHAHA”
Reference to Le Pen torturing arabs during the Algeria war.
And MAccarthysm has been the target of black humor endlessly…
I don’t think I can think this is funny though. There’s nothing to laugh at. We acted way out of line, hurt a lot of people, and in the end had little remorse.
I’m not even at a point where I can forgive America for that.
So you don’t find it funny, fine. Why shout at people for alluding to the Red Scare as if you’re an absolute arbiter of what’s appropriate for discussion, though?
Personally, the reaction in my gut to Walky’s joke about child sacrifice is similar to yours concerning McCarthyism, but I think it’s important to take a step back and consider what the person is actually saying first. If you find someone who doesn’t have a problem with McCarthyism, I’d say go ahead and tear into them.
Anyway (because I can’t help myself), if we want to discuss what the darkest part of American history is, I would vote it’s slavery. The Red Scare was greatly unjust, unconstitutional, and ruined the lives of too many people, but in my book these aren’t in the same league as institutionalized racial incarceration and an *unambiguous* rape culture.
Lastly, I would strive to forgive countries for past wrongdoings, whether it’s America for slavery, Germany for the Holocaust, Japan for the rape of Nanking, or Russia for Stalinism. Appealing to empathy works better than putting people on the defensive.
You realize that someone could as easily say the same about your use of mental illness, specifically MPD, for “humor”?
No I did not realize that, however I also wasn’t trying to present myself as having a mental illness. I was trying to present myself as being almost two people – completely separate existences under the same conciousness. Not too different from how we try to manage our different selves in video-games, comic forums, school and family. The only difference is that these personalities are tied to names instead of location.
I can assure you, my point was never to make fun out of the disorder, but to extend myself into multiple people so I could do and say more without as much restriction. If All Hail Dina turns out to be evil, then she will become my medium for expressing my less morally acceptable desires (particularly the ones that pertain to the laugh and my ability to say what I want to say, and let the words fall out. Just what I want to say, I want to see me be brave! [oops, accidental song {Make Mike sing that one please!}]) while Crazy Dina will be my more natural choice of character.
I do see how that can be easily misinterpreted as MPD, as I am basically splitting myself into multiple personalities, but that was never what I intended to reference.
And for your other point –> I tried to type out lighter hearted responses to show that it kinda stung, but after writing it out two or three times, I couldn’t hold the funny any longer. The fact that I have classmates who were right there with me when I was learning about the Red Scare whom have no clue about it doesn’t really help my ability to handle the topic, much less every time we repeat those same patterns.
Note to self: hit enter twice each time.
@Crazy Dina
“I don’t think I can think this is funny though.”
That’s the point. YOU don’t think it’s funny. Then don’t laugh. Let others enjoy their black humor, because it clearly was. You can be outraged when someone will really think communists are godless heathens.
“There’s nothing to laugh at.”
Of course there is.”You acted way out of line, hurt a lot of people, and in the end had little remorse.” That’s three things to laugh at.
– How do you put 400 Jews in a Volkswagen? In the ashtray.
Jewish humor.
Nothing is sacred enough. And when there’s nothing left but despair, you can always point at despair and laugh.
I’m not even at a point where I can forgive America for that.
Look, I already closed the original thread. can we please put this one to bed too? I went from typing “Too Soon” from a spilling out of why I felt I didn’t want to read stuff like that (Admittedly poorly, but what do you honestly expect), and all of the sudden I’m getting long responses saying I should be okay with it!
And you think I can always point in despair and laugh? I can’t!!! This stuff makes me feel sick inside, a little too close to literally! Seriously, I can feel the prestages of vomit in my throat! (Never do feel anything in my stomach. It’s wierd.) But point is, stop telling me should be okay with it when I’m not and no one is really hurt by my not being so! If Rycan can make those jokes, I can express that I don’t find them funny and that they make me feel a little sick! Seriously, it’s not like I’m deleting her post or anything! YIESH!
You said
“That was unacceptable and inappropriate. You NEVER bring that up. EVER! Do I make myself clear?”
That is wrong. What she said was acceptable and appropriate, on a general meaning: no insults, no obscenity, no pornography. Sure, you didn’t delete her posts, but that’s because you can’t. You tried to impose pressure on her to stop having humor on an idea. THAT is unacceptable and inappropriate.
The correct way to express your disagreement was
“I find that inappropriate and it offends me”.
“And you think I can always point in despair and laugh? I can’t!!”
I didn’t mean YOU should (it was a general you, sorry, not a native english speaker), I meant that possibility should always be open.
And if this type of jokes “they make you feel a little sick”, then my opinion would be that you’re over-sensitive. Especially since this is the Internet.
As you wish, case closed!
Hey, you try writing the same reply about how something hurts you over and over again and keeping a level head. It’s not that easy.
I like Walky, he’s alright.
Who want to join Walky in the child sacrifice?
Walky Performs a Satanic Act – On Slipshine tomorrow*!
*subscription fee of one soul or five easy payments of $19.95
Just take the soul, its a rental anyway.
Anakin Skywalker: Oooh! Me me me!
Missed opportunity, Walky – you should have ended that convo with “All Hail Megatron.”
Optimus Prime died for our sins.
Don’t worry. He gets better.
More than once in multiple versions of the franchise.
Which one?
Have any *not* gotten better?
(Primal doesn’t count, obviously, because of the ‘al’.)
All Hail Megatron? The 1 I worked for was a pain, especially if he scrapped ya, but the 1 on here doesn’t seem as bad. that said, I flew the ‘Con coup a while ago, never going back…
I prefer my alliances with fleshlings secret.
Crisis averted, everyone can go home now.
Every word out of Walky’s mouth in this strip is fantastic. It’s amazing how you can be a great friend and a terrible one in the same breath.
(I guess he’s not really being terrible as much as he is mopping up after Mike’s terribleness.)
“Hail Satan on all channels!”
“No response, sir.”
“Aw heck. Fire the photon torpedoes.”
Ew, Jason? As if!
‘What does Satan need with a spaceship?’
To finish the movie…duh.
“Fire at Will!”
RIKER: “Now wait a damn minAAAAAAAGH!”
There’s a scene in… I think Generations, where someone says “fire at will” and in context that means fire at the Enterprise, and Riker is in command because Picard’s off somewhere doing suchandsuch, so they actually fire at Will.
I’m reminded of a scene in Disney’s “tail spin” where Don Carnage says “fire at will!……No, do not fire at Will, he is my first mate. Fire at [the other ship whose name I’m blanking on]!”
“Fire at the Sea Duck!”
I still quote that now and then.
Walky knows exactly how to deal with religious parents, it’s almost scary how realistic it is..
His time as a cute little mouse boy was well spent.
Here’s a interesting outlook of Joyce and Becky’s friendship, its a very similar but completely opposite situation of Amber and Ethan’s friendship when Ethan first came out the closet
Not quite, Amber stuck by Ethan for a whole summer before wanting to leave him alone. There hasn’t been much time for Joyce and Becky yet, but we’ll see.
And yet i have never been so turned on by walky.
That was actually pretty nicely handled. Who knew Walky had that in him?
Mike. Who else?
wow Walky that was great work…
Noice.
And Walky earns his Premartial Hanky-Panky.
Walky can be smooth when he wants to be.
Funny how Walky suddenly starts channelling Sal in moments like this.
I don’t see Sal being this underhand. She would make a grand “Fucky You” instead.
That actually wasn’t being THAT underhanded, so much as blunt to the point, and not giving Joyce’s mom much time to react or do much more than give one terse shot about Mike hailing Hydra, I mean Satan. Walky went for the Baffle and bedazzle card with that stoic straight face (and I am pretty sure a deadpan voice) which I could see very much Sal doing as well. (Or maybe just because of that acting background as a kid being a church mouse and everything, either way)
‘an have some pre-marital hanky-panky’
Mike, seriously, you’re such an arse.
…
Walky surprised me here, tho.
Well played Walky
Yes, watch Harry Potter! The Calvinism will help cleanse your senses.
The line about Democrats just confused me as I grew up in an area where they’re the party of the Christian right. The Pat Robertson evangelical alliance with the Republicans is only a small section of Christianity, even if they’re exclusively catered to.
Right now, both parties are putting a lot of effort into defining the other. The Republicans are trying to paint Democrats as being anti-Christianity, and the Democrats are trying to paint Republicans as being racist.
Meanwhile, they continue to suck at defining themselves.
Also everything else.
IMO, the Republicans are doing a fine job of that themselves.
Meanwhile, the Democratic Party’s problem is that, as DSL notes, they don’t really have a definition besides “We’re Not Like Them (Really) (Much)”.
That’s probably because the democrats are a weak conglomerate joined together by the size of the Republican party. Were that party to go, the democrats would fracture and split apart, each choosing their new party based on the next major issue on the list.
The Republican Party is showing stress fractures, too. The libertarians and social conservatives hold some opposing goals, after all.
Dorothy is going to grab that boy by his lapels and drag him to
his doomher room, for that show of unbridled competence and friendship.Nicely done, SalBro.
Woah. Crouching moron, hidden badass springs to mind.
Hey—where are Plasma Mongoose and JenAside?? It’s almost like the alt-text is missing, for them not to be here . . .
I don’t know about Jen, but I was visiting my mother at the Royal Adelaide Hospital to bring her her blanket and laptop so doesn’t get too cold or bored while she’s stuck there.
Maybe Jen Aside is currently in a hospital, maybe even 1 in Australia, but without their laptop which their child is bringing to them… 0.0
Dun dun DUUUUUN
Okay, now I’m getting worried. Does anyone have Jen Aside’s contact info? She hasn’t posted all day.
Hail Satan.
Hail Jesus.
Hail HYDRA.
The Holy Trinity!
In the name of the Satan, the Jesus and Hydra amen.
Praise Skeletor.
They’re all one and the same, after all.
Hail Mike.
HAIL DINA!!!!
Aww
Walky fixed it 
Was hoping someone would tell off / slap Mike upside the head… that was a dick move.
I’m still having trouble imagining that people like Joyce’s parents actually exist. I figure it’s a little satire on Willis’ part about hard core ‘believers’. I’ve always had friends from every faith and belief system and the subject rarely comes up. I suppose there are some hard core fundies out there, but how they can live in some sort of ‘Bible Bubble’ is beyond me.
No, they exist. And arguing with them is near impossible.
Nah, believe me they exist. I’ve met Americans like this, and I’ve lived in India and met parents/families who are even WORSE than this.
Please don’t make me feel any more ill than I already do. I REALLY don’t want the population of the earth to be made up of morons.
Well, unless you think that morons are uniquely American…
No, but I’d like to put a cap on how bad they get. And believe they MOSTLY breed in one or a limited number of countries. I’m wrong though, aren’t I?
Good news or bad news first?
Remember how people talked about their being different types of intelligence … the cynic in me says there must be at least twice that many types of stupidity … However, as I age, meet more people, and add to my personal dumb-ass useless no-good crap excretion list I get steadily less willing to be judgmental …
In all seriousness, most of the ‘morons’ aren’t and I’m continually surprised by how common basic decency and even thoughtfulness are. AFAICT, the real problem is how we act en masse …
Good point. Take a lynch mob, for instance. Left alone, most of the people in that mob would never commit murder. But together, they are homicidal. The scary part is when you realize that this means being in the wrong crowd may be all it takes to turn you into a monster.
I know this isn’t fun to contemplate, but it’s useful for understanding ourselves.
The cap would be the parents hunting down and murdering their daughter for marrying someone of a different religion. Known as an “honor killing”. Case happened a while back in Hyderabad close to where I live, involving a Hindu Muslim couple. Incredibly sad and disgusting.
This shit even happens in germany sometimes.
You’re kidding right?
Oh please tell me your kidding?
*runs to restroom*
*BARF*
To be more specific, it happens in families of muslim immigrants, mostly of turkish origin afaik. In “native” families, you only have your normal run of the mill murders
Also happens to some apostates.
Found the ATHIEST.
Actually, I’m leaning towards Malthiest these days – the idea that any God which exists has a lot of malicious intent.
I guess Dina is athier than most, but I’m not so sure she’s the athiest.
I suppose I can see where there isn’t much evidence of her being an atheist, but then there’s no evidence to the contrary. I mean seriously, look at how much Joyce ticked her off right before the Whiteboard Ding Dong Bandit!
I know, I used to think it was some kind of urban legend.
But now I’ve seen the documentaries so I have to admit the likelihood that people as hardcore as Joyce’s parents exist is about the likelihood that the moon landing happened.
Would you like to meet my parents?
Always keep in mind that a lot of Joyce’s character is autobio for Willis. I’m sure a few things are exaggerated slightly for comedic effect, but I wouldn’t assume that he’s just making this shit up.
Honestly, if anything he’s toning them down somewhat based on some families.
Well, I really doubt that anyone would have a fifteen-section questionnaire for screening potential dates. That’s worse than the GRE.
Wasn’t this basically the entire point of match.com
Yeah, I assure you, they exist.
Clearly you’ve never spent any time in the bible belt. These people exist. In fact, they are apart of my family. And holy shit it is crazy making.
You are cordially invited to my next family reunion, if you’d like to test your hypothesis.
Trust me, they exist.
So you don’t believe in fundamentalism. Huh. I used to have that happy state of mind too.
And this is why Walky is my favorite.
Thank you Walky Talkie awesome
and mike your still a bad ass
Hail Satan! Hail Satan, tonight! Hail Satan! Hail, hail!
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I’m a man of wealth and taste.
We’re trying to hail Satan, not corporations. Stand aside Dollar, or I’ll spend you.
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith
Spoken like someone who knows just how to get themselves out of trouble. Almost makes you mistake Walky for a mature adult.
Yay Walky! You did a good thing.
and thus begins the VERY SLOW journey from Joyce and Walky annoying each other, to becoming friends, then best friends… and hopefully end up somewhat similar to the original universe with them being a couple.
Given how much sibling dynamics they have (of the “very annoying”-kind) I hope for more of that.
likewise, no need for this world to become that one’s mirror.
Plus, Dorothy needs someone like Walky more than Joyce does, I can’t help but feel.
I doubt we’ll ever see Walky/Joyce over here. Willis has avoided repeating any of the same relationships from the Walkyverse, and he’s going to finish up Joyce & Walky soon enough.
Counterpoint: Billie/Ruth. Sure, it was an afterthought in the original, but it was in the original, and it’s here to stay now. Also, there’s WalkyxDorothy, whose existence in the Walkyverse was an important plot point (or so I’ve heard). Honestly though, WalkyxDorothy needs a chance. It was kind of, blasted, in the old ‘verse (also, I can’t wait for the J&W! strips to be freeshared. I’m a starving college student for Christ’s sake!)
Counter-counterpoint: Billie/Ruth focus allows us to explore one of the missed opportunities of the Walkyverse. It’s different from having, say, Danny and Billie hook up again.
I’m not gonna spoil anything, but Walky/Dorothy in the Walkyverse is way different than what it is in DoA.
Billie/Ruth wasn’t really in the original. It was retconned in towards the end of IW!, after one of them was dead and the other had hooked up with Danny, which doesn’t really leave much room for exploring the idea.
Agreed. DoA hasn’t really hinted at them ever hooking up. Take it from someone who read DoA first.
The only relationships that have any indication of possibly repeating are Sal/Jason and Leslie/Robin – and don’t assume those are inevitable.
Walky +9001 points
And hey! The biggest Harry Potter fans I know are Christian. Not all Christians are these crusty old white folks who hate anything magic related while hypocritically seeing nothing wrong with The Wizard of Oz.
Or C.S. Lewis.
But they’re old, so the magic in those mediums don’t count.
The only “good” magic in Narnia come from Aslan/Jesus and possibly St Nick. I think in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader; there’s a spot where Lucy uses a magic book she finds (power not proved from Aslan) to know what her best friend thinks of her. It isn’t nice, and Aslan lectures her for trying to learn things she isn’t supposed to know and tells her how she can’t act on that knowledge anyway.
Don’t forget The Golden Compass.
Isn’t the Golden Compass the atheist response to The Chronicles of Narnia?
Was wondering where we are in the timeline?
Yipes, the Founding Fathers did not foresee political parties as a dangerously flawed idea.
Well actually …
Mike is my favorite always has been since Walkyverse. Loved he phone pickup.
Walky channels Sal. Smooth move guy.
Yes, these people exist. in my sr. year in high school, I girl I knew only slightly, asked if she could sign my year book. She was very shy and dressed way out of the going style. Long sleeved high necked sweaters or shirts and skirts or dresses to her ankles. No jewelry or makeup.
She said she was asking to sign peoples books so she would maybe be remembered, her picture had been left out of the yearbook.
She also told me that the day she graduated she was leaving town on the Grayhound bus that would take her as far away as she could get.
She said her parents had never let her wear anything but what they and the church approved. She owned no music, no books and no personal belongings but her Bible. She was allowed no friends to visit but those that belonged to the church.
She said she told me this because I had never laughed at her or made fun of her in any way, and she wanted me to know. She wanted to be remembered.
I never felt so sorry for someone in my whole life, I had no idea what to say. I just hugged her (never did that usually) and wished her luck.
Yes there are people like that out there.
Yikes. Just yikes.
Wow.
I would have hugged her AND asked for her number so we could keep in touch.
But she didn’t have any personal possessions. I would imagine that would include a phone. Although maybe if he had given her his number?
Hope that worked out for her. Cutting ties and running can be pretty risky.
Sounds like she might have been a 7th Day Adventist. They can get pretty strict, don’t celebrate birthdays, Christmas, or the secular holidays such as Thanksgiving, dress very plainly (Dependent upon the local church), and stay home and do not shop or work on Saturday.
We have a good number of 7th Day Adventists in the area I grew up in. They have a small town (Keene, TX) where many live. It’s interesting to go into their little grocery store. It’s vegetarian, and doesn’t sell chocolate. Carob, yes, because it doesn’t contain caffeine.
For some, this works. For others, it doesn’t. For me, it never would work, so I’m glad my parents weren’t 7th Day Adventists. But I try not to judge other peoples’ faith and beliefs. I hope she found something that worked for her.
Huh, that even means she can avoid calling for a little bit by pretending Walky and Mike never told her she called. (I guess she’d also have to pretend Dorothy wasn’t there, but it’s doable! Time bought!)
Despite the fact that Joyce stood up to her parents about Dorothy on Parents’ Weekend, I don’t think she has yet gotten to the point where she can deliberately ignore them — even though, as you said, the perfect excuse is there for her.
I think Walky has simply bought Joyce enough time to figure out how she’s going to handle this – and warn Becky.
THAT HOVER TEXT
Cool guy Walky is a cool guy.
Hail, Doggies!
I think I like the hovertext punchline even better than the one in the comic. Good stuff!
And Walky saves the day!
Okay, but for real. I see what Dorothy is getting at; that Walky is really hot.
I think it’s a shame that we can’t see Dorothy’s face as well as Joyce’s during this strip.
“Ohshitohshitohshit, poor Joyce. I have to act. I have to think of a plan to defuse the situation and reconcile her with her mother. But would it be right of me to step in, after all I’m an atheist and would maybe just make things worse? On the other hand… WAIT!!! What is Walky doing? Oh no, he’s such an idiot and is going to make it all worse. I’m going to kill… He’s making it better? He’s fixing the situation? He’s helping Joyce?…
…I need to schedule a… “recreation” break with him today…”
She was already planning that, though. This just makes things more, um, interesting.
If Mike is diabolus ex machina, is Walky chaotic good?
Those two things aren’t really comparable ; ). I’d say Mike is chaotic neutral.
Mike is the Ultimate Democrat. Which makes me wonder, uneasily, if he’ll happen to Dina or Ruth. Better than the other Ultimate Democrat, I suppose.
Can’t be. That would imply that Mike likes people such as Sen. Warren, and Mike dislikes everybody who ever lived.
I’d say Jerkass Good.
this.
Hail Santa! Wait…
You’re kidding right?? You found ANOTHER way to make that holiday screwy?!?! I’m going to have to share that one.
Well if “Jesus is the reason for the season”, then obviously Santa Claus is a Satanist plant to distract us from the true meaning of Christmas and worship the almighty dollar or something (that
Whoops, finger slipped on my tablet and I posted before I was done typing, sorry. Parenthetical aside was meant to say “(that was sarcasm, btw)”.
Yeah, the people I’m with didn’t find it nearly as funny.
I have got to get myself some friends.
Awesome, Walky! Situation defused.
I love the look on Joyce’s face. “Wait, I’m not dead yet? And… Walky was the one who saved me? Brain not compute.”
Darn it, I had a joke but I can’t tell it because I’m not sure if Dexter is the monkey or the Head Alien!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Communion wafers! LOL!
Nearly everything Mike has done teaches another character a point that they had been mostly ignoring or avoiding. I didn’t see how Mike’s action here did that, so I was hoping it got ‘reversed’.
It demonstrated for Joyce that she needs to learn to make quick decisions (lest someone else decide things for her).
If we want to credit him with anticipating Walky’s reaction, it probably also got Walky’s mind off his test failure.
This time, Mike is either near-omniscient, just got lucky, or is once again serving as Willis’ deus ex machina.
I suddenly felt like Joyce fell in love with Walky in this scene.
God, there is something wrong with me. Why do I ship everything and everyone…
And besides, Joyce and Walky? Together? Schyeah right. Like that’ll happen.
Wally still does pre-marital hanky panky with her best friend, so that’s a no-no.
*Walky. Stupid autocorrect.
Well, he has offered to let her watch.
So… I do want this arc to keep moving forward, but I also think it would be totally hilarious if these two strips started a running gag where Joyce never gets to answer her phone all day. Maybe next time it rings, Dorothy picks it up and tells Mrs. Brown about her impending presidency.
Walky is the best, my heart is touched
Angry Joyce is enough to make even Mike’s eyebrows move.
Too bad it’s not enough to make Mike spontaneously combust.
Huh. I am surprised no one brought up buzzing phone Joyce. http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/107898162173/itswalky-you-know-how-it-is-plowing-through
Anyone else laugh at “communion wafers”? It seemed to me like he was just randomly saying it. Like he was just listing religious-ness stuff.
Same thought here. I think Walky knew he should hang up when he did. before Joyce’s mom exploded with indignation.
And shortly after that, Joyce had a Windows Error.
Walky/Joyce still best ship,
Very much agreed there, but I leave that ‘ship for It’s Walky!
Honestly, I think they make better pseudo-siblings than they do a couple.
Walky uses Sal-Face.
Well, I screwed up that a href.
Was suppose to say Joyce is confused”
Talking to the super-religious has that affect on me too. Much like talking to anyone with any severe psychosis.
Don’t talk like that! Beliefs such as those only increase the influence of satan in your life!
Talk like that, dude. Seriously, talk like that.
JEEZ-ITS! there sacra-delicious
Walky performed a good!
Walky’s old enough to vote?
They’re in college, so most likely. American voting age is 18, high school graduation is around 18
Also, Walky was in a porn, so I sure hope he was 18.
I like how you word that like you don’t really know.
walky you suck.
By “perform child sacrifice”, he means perform an abortion. Democratic and Satanic action, all rolled up into one!
No no, you preform a child sacrifice as payment to Satan, and then if you get good service you tip him one abortion.
Walky is definitely channeling Sal for this comic haha
And while we’re at it, how about a goat?
… Willis? Sorry we made you mad.
Oh, oops. It did post. Um…
Sorry we made you mad, Willis. *bad puppy face* U(v.v)U (No, it didn’t work right.)
And in comes Walky with the save!
…doesn’t mocking him give him less of a foothold because we’re not taking him seriously?
Yep, I thought same thing. But since when religion is logical?
Okay, so “hail” is basically just old-timey talk for “hello”, right? So if you say “yo Satan, wazzaaap” is that still bad?
Is it just me, or does Walky look way more masculine and mature in that strip?